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  #1  
Old 03-10-2009, 02:23 AM
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Default I have a new idea, maybe called 'Labyrinth'

This is a Pokemon mystery dungeon story.

The amazing hero, Alakazam, leader of Team A.C.T., is dying. He has written his will, and soon, on the fifth day of August, he dies.

Soon, the will is read by Charizard to seven Pokemon. They are, one, Kimo, an Ambipom, who is 'heart-broken' by the death, Tyranitar, a member of Team A.C.T, Screech, a Skarmory, who is there to see that he gets at least a portion of any cash, Jacker, a Charmeleon who is mentally connected to Darkrai, Zulo, Jacker's adopted brother, who is cocky, Gardevoir, a former spirit agent who is resurrected, but suffering from amnesia, and Theo, the grandson of Alakazam. (Theo's an Abra).

However, everyone is surprised when they learn that all the money, estate, everything is underground.

Now, Theo and his small rescue team, Team Alpha (nicknamed Team Alpha-dorks), must venture underground to Groudon's realm in a race.

Feedback would be nice
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Last edited by riolu42; 03-11-2009 at 03:28 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-14-2009, 03:20 AM
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Default Re: I have a new idea, maybe called 'Labyrinth'

Interesting story, but seems to be more worthy of a short fanfiction rather than a fully-fledged fanfiction itself. For example, why don't you make several events that lead up to Alakazam's dying era, and add a few events between the reading and the race to the treasure. Who are the antagonists? Any other innocent bystanders that would spice the story?
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  #3  
Old 03-16-2009, 03:15 AM
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Default Re: I have a new idea, maybe called 'Labyrinth'

Good point.

Screech, for once, is evil, maybe he is an evil spy who just befriended Alakazam so he could inform his leader that they needed to act. Fast.

Also, how many chapters should I have all the way up to the race to the treasure?
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