Rockets Journey: BOOK 1 (Kanto Region)

[RocketMeowth]

This is my first story for these so I may not be that great at it. Well here is the story.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````` ````````````````

Rocket's Journey: BOOK 1 (Kanto Region)

A young girl no more then the age of 12 entered the Viridian forest. Her name is Rocket and her favorite pokemon is Meowth. Her hair was down past her shoulders and its color was a dark brown. She wasn’t tall at all, standing only 4 feet 3 inches tall. She wore a dark blue T-Shirt that had sleeves going half way down her arms. On top of that she wore a black vest that had Velcro on the inside for her pokeball’s. Her pants were not jeans but sweatpants and they too were a dark blue color nearly blending in with the black. Next to her was a tan and brown cat pokemon with black ears. It stood only 1 foot 4 inches with a semi long tail that curled at the top. About 65% of the tail was tan with the rest being a brown color, same with its back feet. Only 50-60% was mostly brown. On the head were six whiskers. Two on the left, two on the right and, two on the top. In the middle of the two top whiskers was a gold colored coin that would shine when the light touched it. This pokemon was a Meowth and was this girl’s starter pokemon.

“Let’s try to get through this forest as fast as we can alright Coin?” Rocket said as she looked down to her Meowth. Coin was what she nicknamed her Meowth when she received him. Coin nodded and they walked on through the forest. As they walked on they admired the many pokemon that lived in the forest. Most of them were just Caterpie, Metapod, Weedle and Kakuna. Suddenly, a Weedle no bigger then 1 foot tall (which was how tall they all were) appeared in front of them.

“Coin, it’s a Weedle! Go and use a scratch attack on it!” Rocket called out. The battle now started.

“Meowth!” cried Coin as he dashed off towards the Weedle. Coin jumped into the air releasing his claws from his left paw and swinging his arm back then forward. The Weedle lowered its body enough to doge the move.

“Weeeedle!” cried the small worm like pokemon as it used Stringshot which covered up Coins left paw.

“Meow! Meowth!” Coin cried as he shook his paw and bit it repeatedly trying to get the string off.

“Coin! Try to ignore the String on your paw and use a growl attack! Lower its defensive stats and then use another scratch!” Rocket cried out to Coin. Coin nodded and kneeled down. He then growled harshly at the Weedle scaring it a bit. Coin then raised himself back up and dashed for the Weedle using another scratch attack but with his right paw. The attack hit the Weedle. The Weedle fell to the ground hurt badly.

“Awesome Coin! Now to use one of my pokeballs and capture this pokemon!” Rocket said in excitement. She pulled out a pokeball and got ready to throw it when she and Coin heard a buzzing sound. Suddenly, a Beedrill appeared and went to the Weedle.

“MEYA!” cried Coin as the Beedrill looked to him. It then attacked Coin by using Twineedle.

“Coin dodge it! That has to be the mother Beedrill! You have to keep dodging her moves until I can get a clear shot to return you!” Rocket cried in fear. Coin did as much as he could trying to dodge every Twineedle but, he was hit by three of them hurting him badly. The Beedrill kept getting in the way of Rocket making it very difficult to return him to his pokeball.

“MYA! Meowth!” Coin cried as he ran from the Beedrill and to Rocket. Rocket then immediately returned him to his pokeball and turned around. She ran from the pokemon as fast as she could until she was out of the forest. The Beedrill stopped at the entrance of the Viridian forest and flew back to her child. Rocket was now at the pokemon center waiting for Coin to return from being healed.

“Man, my first time in Viridian forest and I am run out by mother Beedrill! I really need a strategy to avoid those pokemon so I can make it through the forest safely!” Rocket said to herself as she sat on a bench. When Coin returned she would take him to route 1 for some training.

[RocketMeowth]

After about ten minutes of waiting, Coin finally was returned to Rocket.

“Thank you very much Nurse Joy” she said as she was given her pokeball. Nurse Joy smiled and spoke.

“Your welcome. Please, come again if your pokemon need healing” she said. Rocket nodded and headed outside with her pokeball in hand. She then walked out of Viridian city back towards route one. As she walked on towards route 1 she thought to herself.

Hmmm, what pokemon would be the best one to capture out here if I want to get through Viridian Forest safely. Let’s see, Rattata are normal pokemon with a height of 1 foot 0 inches. Their beginning attacks are Tackle and Tail Whip and they get more when leveling up. Well that’s good and all but, not what I want at this point in time. Hmmmm….point, point, PIDGEY!! THAT’S IT!

When Rocket had thought about the word point it reminded her of Pidgeys sharp pointy beak. That also reminded her that Pidgey is a flying type pokemon and, bugs are weak against flying types.

“COIN, C’mon out!” Rocket said as she flung her pokeball into the air. It opened up and out came a burst of red energy that son took the shape of a Meowth. The red color disappeared and Coin’s real colors emerged.

“Nya me meow!” he said as he shook his head and looked up to Rocket. Rocket put the pokeball back on the inside of her vest and knelt down to Coin.

“Now Coin, we need to capture a Pidgey! Think you can find me one?” she asked as she gently moved her hand back and forth on Coins head. He closed his eyes, smiled and nodded to Rocket. He then opened his eyes and they were off in search of a Pidgey. They walked for a while up and down route 1 searching for the small bird pokemon.

“Pidgey, a flying bird pokemon. It stands at a height of 1 foot 0 inches and weighs 4 pounds. The colors of its feathers are white, brown and they have a black marking underneath both their eyes. They are common pokemon with Tackle and Sand attack as beginning moves. Well, WHERE ARE YOU YA STINKIN PIDGEY!? YOU SHOULDN’T BE SO FLIPPIN HARD TO FIND!” Rocket yelled out. She had become very impatient with this Pidgey.

“MEOW! Meo, ne meow!” Coin cried as he spotted a bird pokemon pecking at the dirt road. Rocket sighed in relief because, it was a wild Pidgey. At last, she finally could get a Pidgey to help her get through the forest.

“Coin, go and use a scratch attack!” she called out. Coin nodded and dashed off towards the Pidgey.

“Pidgge? PIDGEY!” cried the bird pokemon as it leapt up opening its wings and dodging the move. It then turned around and used a Tackle attack on Coin hitting him when his guard was low. The Pidgey then started up a Sand attack nearly blinding Coin.

“Coin, try to get out of the Sand attack and use a Scratch attack on Pidgey! GO!” Rocket called out to Coin. Coin nodded and moved from the Pidgey. It stopped using Sand attack and came in for another tackle attack at full force. Coin stood his ground and awaited for the Pidgey to hit him.

“PIDGGGGEEYY!” cried the pokemon as it hit Coin. But Coin latched himself onto the Pidgey and refused to let go. The small Pidgey couldn’t hold Coin up for much longer. The Pidgey fell to the ground tired from Coins small ride and looked as if it were ready to have a pokeball thrown at it. Rocket reached for on the red and white balls only to stop to see the Pidgey get back up.

“PIDDGEEYY!!” it cried as it flapped its wings and took off from the ground once more. It then used another Tackle attack nearly hitting Coin. He had dodged it just in time.

“Coin, this Pidgey isn’t going to give up so easily! Try to trick it into using and attack against itself! GO!” Rocket called out to Coin. Coin was facing the Pidgey when he heard Rocket. He nodded and jumped up releasing his claws for another scratch attack. The Pidgey dodged the attack by flying straight up. It then swooped down for another tackle attack on Coin.

“PIIDDGGEEYY!”

“COIN, DODGE NOW!” Rocket called out to Coin.

“MYA! Meeeowth!” he cried as he jumped to the left in the nick of time.

“PIIDDDGGGGEEEYY!!” cried the pokemon as it flew strait into a tree. Not only did the attack miss Coin but Pidgey flew into a tree jamming its beak. It flapped its wings over and over trying to pull its beak out from the trunk. Coin was in a defensive position breathing deeply from the loss of energy. The Pidgey pulled itself free from the tree and flapped its wings at a fast pace to regain balance.

“SCRATCH! GO!” Rocket called out. Coin leapt into the air and successfully used his attack on Pidgey causing major damage. The Pidgey fell to the ground hurt and tired. Its breathing was hard and it was too weak to get back up.

“Nya!” Coin said he too breathed deeply. He looked pretty beat up but not as much as the Pidgey. Rocket quickly reached into her vest and pulled out an empty pokeball and pressed the button in the middle. The pokeball grew larger to where the whole thing fit in Rocket’s palm.

“C’mon Pokeball do your stuff! GO!” she called out as she threw her pokeball at the Pidgey. The spinning pokeball hit the Pidgey, turning it into a beam of red energy that was sucked inside the pokeball. The ball closed and fell to the ground. The middle button then turned a red color and it moved back and forth. Rocket stood awaiting either the capture or release of the Pidgey. The pokeball kept moving back and forth beeping.

Beep, beep, beep, beep

[Finglonger]

Story- Basic, but effectively written. A good first story. One problem I had here was consistency in character development. In the first half of the story I got the impression that the character was a little bit more free and easy, but then awkwardly written dialogue like this kind of threw me off:

Hmmm, what pokemon would be the best one to capture out here if I want to get through Viridian Forest safely. Let’s see, Rattata are normal pokemon with a height of 1 foot 0 inches. Their beginning attacks are Tackle and Tail Whip and they get more when leveling up.

“Pidgey, a flying bird pokemon. It stands at a height of 1 foot 0 inches and weighs 4 pounds. The colors of its feathers are white, brown and they have a black marking underneath both their eyes.

honestly..who talks like that? unless you were trying to set your character up as a loveable nerd then this was a distraction. Also if you continue this storyline I'm going to want more character development further down the road

Grammar/spelling etc- Looks fine

Reality- sure

Battle-The Battle was very nicely done. the attacks were described in an interesting manner, and well I enjoyed it. Good job

Length-fine

outcome- Pidgey Captured!..Well done except for a few discrepancies in the storyline..I'll be wanting improvement in the next chapter

~Fing~

[IT]

Okey dokey...

Story: I wish you would've written a bit more. After all, Pikachu is a middle-stage evolution nowadays. Also, something kinda bugged me. You have obviously seen the couple first episodes of the Pokemon series since the Beedrill part was straight from the 4th (or was it 5th) episode. I was almost sure to see the samurai here too. Maybe try something else?

Grammar/spelling: not much to say here. Well, there was something that bugged me. You seem to use lots of this:

Originally Posted by RocketMeowth

“I CAUGHT A PIDGEY!! OH SO COOL!” Rocket said in excitement.

is it really that necessary to use those capital letter all the time?

Reality: Well, some stuff here too.

Originally Posted by RocketMeowth

Fret, Coin and Rocket were enjoying their stroll through the forest

In the Pokemon series and the games, the forest is mentioned as gloomy and scary...Also, the Beedrill thing. >_< And, how did Rocket remember that Poochyena all of a sudden...?

Length: I guess it's enough, maybe a bit more.

Battle: Good enough.

Outcome: Pikachu not captured!

Tips: Maybe take out the Beedrill part or modify it. Also, explain in the story my "reality" points. Then I'll regrade.

[RocketMeowth]

^^ okay. Thankyou for gradeing it. I will try an improve it right now.

EDIT:
I updated it. I hope that this one is better.

`````````````````

Rocket still stood ready for anything until she heard the pokeball make a beep sound that seemed to echo a little. The red light went away and the pokeballs movement stopped. Rocket slowly walked towards the pokeball which lay there on the ground. She reached out and picked up the pokeball slowly pulling it up. Coin was sitting on the ground licking his left paw at an attempt to get off some of the small blood droplets. When the Pidgey had used tackle attack its beak sometimes punctured Coin’s fur letting out small bits of blood.

“I caught a Pidgey!” Rocket said in excitement. Coin looked to Rocket as she knelt down to him. She was holding the pokemon which to Coin was a white and grey color. Coin, like a lot of pokemon was color blind. He sniffed the pokeball and then smiled.

“I am going to call him Fret!” Rocket said as she pet Coins head. She then noticed Coin’s wounds.

“Well, who is up for another trip to the pokemon center?” she asked as she got up and put Fret’s pokeball in her vest. Coin (being Coin) raised his left paw and waved it back and forth.

“Nya! Mya!” he called out as he smiled. Rocket laughed and picked Coin up taking him to the pokemon center. About 30 minutes passed by before Coin and Fret were both healed and returned to Rocket. She once again thanked Nurse Joy who only replied with a happy, you’re welcome.

“Well, now that I am out of the pokemon center, again, it is time to go to Viridian Forest so I can get to Pewter City! I have heard about the museum that they have and I am really interested!” she said to herself. She then walked onto Viridian forest wondering what would happen now. Suddenly, Coin let himself out of his pokeball.

“Nya me ow!” he said happily. Rocket smiled and then decided to let out Fret. He deserved to be outside on such a warm day.

“Fret, come on out!” Rocket called as she threw her pokeball strait up into the sky. It spun around blending the two colors until finally, it opened. A red energy beam shot from the pokeball forming the shape of a Pidgey. Son the energy went away and the pokeball closed falling back into Rockets hand.

“Pidgey!” Fret called as he flapped his wings.

“Hey Fret! C’mon lets get going!” Rocket said. She then headed into Viridian forest a bit nervous. Fret and Coin followed her both, already good friends.

“Pidgey, Pidgey, pidge, Pidgey!” Fret said quietly as he landed on Rockets head. Coin looked up to Fret as he sat on Rockets head and he only shook his.

“So far, so good” Rocket said a bit nervous. She continued on wondering if the mother Beedrill from before was going to return.

“Caterpie!”

“Pidgey”

“Weedle”

Many pokemon sounds were coming from different directions of the forest. The sounds sometimes even blended together to form a new sound. Fret, Coin and Rocket were enjoying their stroll through the forest. Coin’s ears perked a bit and he then dashed off into some nearby bushes. Rocket ran after Coin with Fret flying behind her.

“Nya, me nay meow!” Coin said as he slowed to a stop. He sniffed the air over and over with his ears back and a serious look on his face. Something or someone else was there in the forest with them.

“Coin, what is it? You are acting very strange!” Rocket said as she and Fret caught up with Coin. Coin looked to Rocket as she stopped running.

“Nya me meow!” Coin said as he turned around to her. Rocket listened to what Coin was saying. She could hardly understand what Coin was saying but, some words she could understand.

“Okay, so you are saying that there is something in the something near us? Man it is hard figuring you out Coin. Lets see, ummm, yeah I truly got nothing” Rocket said as she sat down. Coin looked annoyed and just shook his head back and forth.

“Nya me nay mo meow nya Meowth!” he said once more to Rocket. Rocket sighed and tried to figure out what he now was saying.

“Okay, there is a, ummm…….thing near us and ummm…….okay, this is impossible. I give up Coin, you just have to show me!” she said annoyed. Coin just shook his head and turned back around. He crept slowly to some nearby bushes. Fret landed on the ground and tilted his head.

“Are you from Pallet Town?” a voice said. Rocket went into a defensive position and looked around a bit scared.

“Yeah and what if I am!?” she answered back still scared. A boy then walked through the bushes dressed up as a ninja. He pulled out a rubber sword and pointed it at Rocket.

“I am Samurai and I am challenging all who come from Pallet! Now, I shall challenge you to a match!” the boy said. Rocket was no longer in a defensive position and was no longer scared. She then looked to Coin who had jumped back when Samurai had appeared. He looked ready to battle as did Fret.

“Alright, I only have two pokemon so we will have a two on two pokemon battle!” she said. Samurai nodded and pulled out a pokeball. He pressed the middle button making the pokeball larger.

“Alright, Pinsir some on out!” he yelled as he threw the pokeball. It opened up and out came a large bug pokemon. It had two large horns on its head and was a brown color.

“Cool a Pinsir! Coin, go!” Rocket said.

“Nya!” Coin replied as he jumped in front of her. Samurai looked a bit puzzled.

“Why have you not chosen your Pidgey to do battle with my Pinsir? Surely you would have an advantage if you were too!” he said.

“I know I would but, I would like a challenge! I want to see how well my Coin can stand up to your Pinsir!” Rocket said.

“Whatever, now Pinsir, Tackle that thing!” Samurai said.

“Coin dodge it!” Rocket yelled to Coin as the Pinsir ran towards Coin. Coin backed up a bit then jumped up landing in the middle of the Pinsir’s horns.

“Pinsir, use Vicegrip now!” Samurai called. Coin knelt down and started to jump only to be stopped by the two horns on the pinsir’s head.

“Nyaaaa!” he cried as the horns were pressing against his body.

“Coin! Try to break free! Please Coin try!” Rocket called to him. Coin struggled as best he could but was still stuck in between the two horns. Rocket got ready to pull out Coins pokeball when the horns opened up and Coin fell to the ground. Coin slowly got up and shook his head.

“What kind of trainer are you? Your Meowth allowed itself to be grabbed by my Pinsir! That only shows how weak it is! Pinsir, Tackle it now!” Samuri said.

“He isn’t weak! Coin, dodge the move and use a Slash attack! Go!” Rocket said to Coin as he turned around to see Pinsir. Coin knelt down and quickly jumped to the left dodging the move. He then jumped backwards swung around and Slashed Pinsir. Pinsir cried out in pain only to then shake it off. A small amount of blood dripped from the cut that Coin had given.

“Pinsir, you use your Slash attack too!” Samurai called out to his Pinsir. It nodded and turned around. It then dashed off towards Coin holding out its left claw ready to strike. As the Pinsir drew closer Rocket became more nervous as did Coin.

“Coin dodge now!”

[RocketMeowth]

“Nyaaaa” Coin yelled as he attempted to dodge. While he was dodging Pinsir got in a small cut to Coins back left leg. Coin fell to the ground from the attack and panted deeply.

“Coin are you okay!? Can you go on!?” Rocket asked Coin as he slowly got back up. Coin looked to Rocket and nodded.

“Hahahaha! Victory is in my grasp! Go Pinsir and use another Slash attack!” Samurai called out in confidence. His Pinsir raced towards Coin at full speed.

“Coin, try to dodge it!” Rocket called out hoping that Coin wouldn’t be too hurt from the attack. Coin tried to get out of the way fast enough but was hit hard by the Slash attack. He fell to the ground scratched up and bleeding. His breathing was hard and his heart raced trying to get more oxygen.

“Coin, return!” Rocket said as she held out a pokeball. A red beam shot out from the pokeball, hitting Coin and absorbing him into the ball itself. Rocket held the pokeball for a couple seconds before putting it away inside her vest.

“So, now its time I am to beat the Pidgey of yours isn’t it?” Samurai said as he started to laugh.

“Coin, you were so awesome out there. You deserve a long rest. Now, Fret it’s your turn! Let’s do our best to defeat him! Go!” Rocket called out. Fret flapped his wings and flew into the battle.

“Start things off with a Wing attack! GO!” Rocket called out. Fret flew towards the Pinsir at full speed using a powerful Wing attack. It hit and did some major damage. Pinsir nearly falling to the ground managed to stay on its feet and use another slash attack.

“Pidgey! Pidgge!” Fret called out as he dodged the Slash attacks that were being given. Samurai called out to his Pinsir to use a Vicegrip on Fret but, Pinsir didn’t move. Its energy was depleted to nearly nothing due to its first battle with Coin.

“Fret now’s our chance! Wing attack! Go!” Rocket called out. Fret nodded and swooped down from above the Pinsir. He opened his wings hitting Pinsir hard fainting it.

“Pinsir return! Go Butterfree! Use Stun Spore on this bird now!” Samurai called out as he returned Pinsir and threw another pokeball. Out of this pokeball came a beautiful butterfly pokemon known as Butterfree.

“Free, free!” it called out as it flapped its wings releasing some yellow powder.

“Fret blow that Stun Spore away with Whirlwind!” Rocket said to Fret.

“Pidgey!” Fret called out as he flapped his wings faster and faster creating a massive amount of wind. The Stun Spore was blown away and Fret was not paralyzed.

“Now Fret, Wing Attack! Go!” Rocket called out to Fret. He flew up towards the Butterfree ready to strike it.

“Whirlwind!”

“Free!” Butterfree called out as it flapped its wings creating a powerful gust of wind blowing Fret backwards. Fret regained his balance by moving out of the whirlwind and flapping his wings before hitting the ground.

“Fret, use Sand attack! Go!” Rocket called out to Fret.

“Pidgey!” Fret cried as he flapped his wings over and over blowing up some dirt from thee ground blinding the Butterfree.

“Butterfree, use a Whirlwind and blow that dirt away! Then use Confusion!” Samurai called out. Butterfree responded quickly by first blowing away the sand and then by using Confusion on Fret.

“Fret hold on! Wait, that’s it! Fret, use Mirror Move! Go!” Rocket called out to Fret. Confusion was sent out towards Fret at full speed. Fret then created a Mirror in mid air sending the attack back towards Butterfree. But Confusion also broke through the mirror hitting Fret knocking him out. The Confusion hit Butterfree but did minor damage.

“Ha-ha! Did you really think that you could defeat me with those pokemon? Well, even though you did lose you put up a great battle. I hope that we can battle again my friend” Samurai said as he held his hand out to Rocket. Rocket returned Fret and shook Samurais hand. Once Samurai returned Butterfree to its pokeball he showed Rocket where the exit of the forest was. She thanked him and ran out of the dark gloomy forest into the bright light of the sun. The rays beat down on Rocket warming her. She ran to the Pewter City pokemon center and gave Nurse Joy her two pokeballs.

“Oh, is your name Rocket by any chance?” Nurse Joy asked her.

“Yeah, my name is Rocket, Rocket Zater. Why?” she asked Nurse Joy. Nurse joy only smiled and gave her a strange looking box.

“A young man by the name of David Zater came in and said to give this to his little sister, Rocket Zater. He said it was his birthday gift to you” Nurse Joy said. She then took Rocket’s pokemon back to heal them up. Rocket looked at the box and saw a card on a string. She read the card,

To Rocket,
Happy birthday sis. Sorry I am over 2 weeks late but I had to take a couple trips to get all the way back to here. I tried giving you this in person but once again, I had to rush off. Hope you love your gift.

Love,
Dave

Rocket opened the box to find a White pokeball with red where the black was supposed to be. What could be inside this mysterious pokeball?

[RocketMeowth]

Rocket put the pokeball in her vest and awaited the return of her pokemon. Soon 30 minutes passed and Rocket was awoken by Coin. He was all healed as was Fret.

“Sorry about that. They just came out of their pokeballs and headed for you” Nurse Joy said. Rocket smiled and thanked her for healing her pokemon. She returned Fret to his pokeball as well as Coin. She walked out of the pokemon center and headed back to the forest. She wanted to try to capture one more pokemon before heading out towards Mount Moon. As she walked her hands were behind her head and she was deep in thought. She walked for ten minutes not knowing how deep she had gone into the forest.

“Cha!”

“What was” she said as she left her thoughts and rejoined to world. A small yellow pokemon stand in front of her. It had a strange design on its ears where the black was. The black on its ears looked like little arrow’s pointing up. Its fur on its head was cuffed and sparks were coming from its cheeks. Its voice was cracky and it didn’t sound all that happy.

“Pikachu!!” screamed the Pikachu as a Thundershock was released at Rocket. Without thinking Rocket moved back and pulled out the new pokeball she had just received earlier. She threw it into the air and it opened releasing a pokemon. The emerging pokemon looked like a small wolf. It was mostly gray with a black muzzle and black paws. Its nose was red and its eyes were yellow while the pupil was red and black.

“Chyena!” it cried out. It saw the electricity and dodged it by jumping back.

“I may not know any special attacks you know but I do know that you must know Tackle! So, tackle that Pikachu! Go!” Rocket called out. She was a bit nervous using this new pokemon of hers.

“Chyena!” it called out as it headed strait for Pikachu. Its eyes focused on the Pikachu and its breathing in sync with its foot movement. The Pikachu dodged the tackle barley and landed to the right of the wolf pokemon.

“Pika!” it called out as it used a Quick Attack. It headed towards the wolf pokemon at full speed.

“Poochyena!” it cried out. It was hit by the Quick attack and slid towards a tree.

“So you’re a Poochyena huh. Well, I like you and I know that we can win! Go Poochyena! Bite attack!” Rocket called out. She figured that since it had jaws and sharp teeth why not be able to know Bite. The Poochyena howled and ran for the Pikachu. The Pikachu twitched its ears and focused on the Poochyena waiting for the perfect moment. Poochyena was now drawing much closer to the Pikachu but yet, the Pikachu didn’t budge.

“Chyena!” cried the Poochyena as it got ready to bite Pikachu.

“Chu!” Pikachu cried as it used Double Team. There were many Pikachu now all around Poochyena blocking it from escaping. Poochyena was looking in different directions trying to find the correct Pikachu.

“Poochyena, those copies will all disappear if you attack them all! Why don’t you use a Tackle attack on them all till you get the real one!” Rocket called out to her Poochyena. It looked to her and nodded. It ran to a copy biting it making it disappear. Poochyena turned to the left and used Tackle on the other copies until it hit the Pikachu.

“Pikachu!” it cried as it landed on the ground. It got back up and shook its head.

“Poochyena use Bite attack! Go!” Rocket called out. Poochyena ran towards Pikachu successfully biting it.

“Pikkaachu!” it cried. But only smiled as it used a Thunder on the Poochyena.

“Chyennaaaaaaaa!” Poochyena cried as it let go of the Pikachu and fell to the ground fainted. The effect of Thunder being a direct hit like that was not too good for Rocket. Rocket brought out Poochyena’s pokeball and returned it. She smiled knowing that her Poochyena gave it its all and what it gave was enough. The Pikachu was growing a bit tired from so much shocking and dodging it had done.

“You’re a bigger challenge then I thought Pikachu! But by the end of this match, I plan on adding you too my team! You are an awesome pokemon and I won’t let you get away without a capture attempt!” Rocket said to the Pikachu. The Pikachu only smiled as if it were telling Rocket to bring it on and that being captured wouldn’t scare it. Rocket threw a pokeball releasing Coin from it.

“Nya!” Coin cried. He shook his head and took a deep breath of the forest air. Above the forest the sky was clear and the suns rays were slightly entering the forest. In the forest you could see certain areas with a bit of light shining down like a spotlight.

“Slash attack! Go!” Rocket called to Coin. Coin meowed a confident meow and dashed off towards the Pikachu.

“Pikachu!” cried the Pikachu as it used Agility dodging all of Coin’s Slash attempts. The Pikachu then used a Thunderbolt on Coin shocking him hard. Some of Coins tan fur darkened from the electricity making Coin look like a small spotted Meowth.

“Coin, use Screech! Go!” Rocket called out. Coin jumped back from the Pikachu and took a deep breath.

“Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” he screamed loudly piercing the ears of Rocket and the Pikachu. Even trainers and other pokemon in the forest heard this ear piercing screech that Coin had unleashed. The sound was like nails on a chalk board and metal scratching against glass.

“Piiikaaaaaaa!” screamed the Pikachu as it held its ears down trying to blur out the screeching. Rocket was on the ground screaming trying to get Coins attention.

“Coin! Coin stop! Stop I think it worked! Coin you midget cat stop now!” Rocket yelled at the top of her lungs to Coin. Coin stopped screeching and looked to Rocket. He rubbed the back of his head with his left paw and smiled. Rocket shook off the screeching and got back up. She then told Coin that while Pikachu was still in some pain from the screech and was still holding its ears that now would be a good time to use a Faint attack.

“Nya!” Coin replied. He then ran to towards the Pikachu. Pikachu let its ears go and shook the screech off. It noticed Coin running towards it and prepared to dodge. But then, Coin disappeared from view confusing Pikachu.

“Pika? Pikachu?” it said as it looked around. Coin then reappeared in front of Pikachu and hit it hard knocking it into a tree. The Pikachu didn’t receive major damage but enough to turn this battle around. The Pikachu had the upper hand the whole time but now it was exhausted and lacking in a lot of energy. Its breathing was hard and it was sweating a lot making its coat look shiny. Coin was also breathing a little heavier then normal but not enough to affect him.

“Coin, use a Slash attack! Go!” Rocket called out to Coin. Coin responded with a loud nya and dashed for Pikachu. Pikachu was too exhausted to move and was hit hard by the Slash.

“Pikachu! Pi-pi-pi-Piikkaaachuuuu!” it called out as it fell. As it hit the ground it used the last bit of energy it had and unleashed a Thunderbolt attack hitting Coin.

“Nyaaaa!” Coin cried out as the electricity flew through his body. He fell to the ground nearly fainted. His breathing was now very heavy and he was very tired. Rocket could sense another trip to the Pokemon Center.

“Coin you have done an awesome job! Now I am going to attempt at a capture!” Rocket said as she pulled out a pokeball from the inside of her vest. She pressed the middle button making the pokeball larger. She then threw the pokeball in her style at the Pikachu.

“C’mon pokeball do you stuff! Go!” she called out as the pokeball was released from her hands hitting the Pikachu. The Pikachu was absorbed inside the pokeball and it fell to the ground. It wriggled back and forth, back and forth beeping.

Beep, beep, beep, beep

[IT]

Much better!

Story: Improvement, maybe still, I'd like to see some character development, bring out the real character of Rocker Zater.

Grammar/spelling: Good good.

Reality: At least no Beedrills. Anyways, I still think you found Pikachu too easily, but meh...

Length: Better, much better.

Battle: I liked the battle with thr Samurai. It was an interesting battle to read. The one with the Pikachu wasn't as interesting to me but it was long.

Outcome: Pikachu captured!

Tips: Good job! Do some character development, like for example, people aren't like in the Pokemon games (lifeless, no personality). Try to bring up some problems. Anyways, you should delete the older Pikachy try and leave the later one here. That way it won't take as much space.

[RocketMeowth]

The pokeball wobbled back and forth still beeping. It soon came to a stop and then glowed a blue like color. The color vanished and the red dot stop blinking. Pikachu had been captured and Rocket couldn’t have been more happy. She returned Coin to his pokeball then looked around the forest. The exit was off in the distance nearly being blocked from view by the thickness of the forest. As Rocket ran to the exit she accidentally ran into a boy who was heading out as well.

“Hey watch it!” the boy said.

“I’m sorry but I am in a hurry! I have to get to the pokemon center fast!” Rocket called out as she continued to run.

“Freak” the boy said rudely under his breath so the Rocket couldn’t hear him. Rocket reached the pokemon center only to be greeted by Nurse Joy.

‘Back again are we? I will heal your pokemon right now!” she said as Rocket smiled handing her, her pokeballs. Rocket waited for her pokemon to return from the healing room on a nearby bench. As she sat she overheard two young trainers speaking.

“Austin beat me good! My Squirtle didn’t stand a chance against his Bulbasaur and his Pidgeotto!” the one boy said.

“That’s nothing! I have a Charmander and it lost to is Bulbasaur! I swear he has to be doing something to it to make it so powerful!” said a girl holding a pokeball. They continued to talk for a couple minutes until Nurse Joy came out and accepted their pokeballs from them so their pokemon could be healed.

“It will be another 10 minutes before all your pokemon are completely healed. Those injuries they all sustained are pretty bad. But, you can have your Pidgey back since it is healthy and in no need of being healed” Nurse Joy said as she walked by Rocket handing her Fret’s pokeball. Rocket accepted the pokeball and let Fret out. Rocket then sighed and closed her eyes but didn’t go to sleep.

“Pidgey!” called the small bird pokemon as it was released from its pokeball. Fret sat on the ground twitching his head back and forth. A girl walked up to Rocket and looked at Fret who was now staring at the girl. The girl put her hand to her mouth and laughed quietly. Rockets opened one of her eyes and looked to the girl.

“What’s so funny?” she asked. The girl only smiled and let out her female Nidoran.

“This is my Nidoran. Her name is Nina and I would like to challenge you and your Pidgey to a battle! Well, do you accept my challenge?” the girls asked as her Nidoran sat next to her with a burning look in its eyes. Rocket opened both her eyes and looked down to Fret.

“Pidgey!” he called out in confidence. Rocket smiled and nodded to Fret. She looked up to the girl.

“Your on! Let’s head outside now and battle outside the pokemon center!” Rocket said as she got up and let Fret fly onto her arm. The little girl that owned Nina nodded and they headed outside. Once outside Nina and Fret left their trainers and were now face to face ready for commands from their trainers.

“This will be a one on one match! Nina, let’s start things off with your Poison Sting attack! Oh and my name is Angela!” the girl said as she smiled and pointed to Fret who was Nina’s target.

“Nido!” cried Nina as her horn became a bit shiny with secreting poison. The Nidoran ran forward its horn ready to strike Fret.

“Fly up and doge the attack!” Rocket called out to Fret. Fret opened his wings and took off dodging the move.

“Keep trying to hit it with Poison Sting! Jump up if you have to!” she called out. Nina ran back and forth jumping up towards Fret trying to hit him. Fret dodged all the attempts at Poison Sting.

“Use a Gust and blow that Nidoran to the ground!” Rocket called up to Fret. Fret flapped his wings over and over moving them faster and faster till they looked like a blur. A strong gust of wind knocked the Nidoran down onto the ground making it hard to dodge. The Nidoran had fallen on the ground and could get to its feet.

“Nina! Try that new move we practiced out by Mount Moon! Use Dig now!” Angela called out to her Nidoran. Fret was still using Gust when Nina dug into the earth making a hole and falling in. She dug further disappearing from the battle. Fret landed on the ground a bit tired from flapping his wings so much.

“Fret hurry get back in the air now! The Nidoran is using Dig and if you are in the air it won’t affect you at all!” Rocket called out. Fret listened to Rocket and flapped his wings. He took off and crunched his legs up against his body. He flew up above the ground making it so Dig wouldn’t work.

“Nina, come up out of the ground and use it as a boost towards the Pidgey and use Bite!” Angela called out. Nina jumped out of the ground and flew towards Fret. Its front to large Teeth shined in the light of the Sun before chomping down on Fret. Fret had dodged the move but not enough to were his tail feathers were out of Nina’s way. Nina landed on the ground with Fret’s tail feathers in her mouth.

“Dig now Nina!” Angela called out to Nina. Nina quickly burrowed under ground taking Fret with her. Fret was helpless now and Rocket felt bad that she let Fret get hurt like this. As Nina dig through the earth small rocks hit Fret injuring him.

“Up now Nina and send that Pidgey flying!” Angela called. Rocket was now worried for Fret. Was he hurt badly now and was accepting this Challenge a smart idea? Nina came up from under the earth and threw Fret into the air.

“Fret, use Whirlwind!”

`````````````

her character developtment will start after this battle and during a major event that happens.

[RocketMeowth]

“Pidgey!” Fret called as he regained his balance in the sky by flapping his wings. He turned around to Nina and flapped his wings faster and faster until they once again looked like a blur. A massive gust of wind was sent at Nina hitting her.

“Nina, try to hold on until the wind stops! Try to hold on!” Angela called out to Nina as the wind was slowly blowing Nina back. Fret soon stopped flapping his wings ending the strong wind gusts. Nina was no longer being blown back by Whirlwind and was ready to once again attack.

“Nina, use a Bite attack on that Pidgey!” Angela called out pointing to Fret. Fret flapped his wings staying in the sky to better avoid the attack. Nina came running towards Fret as fast as she could go jumping up aiming to bite him once again. Fret dodged the attacks as Nina was once again jumping from one side to another.

“That’s it Fret! Keep dodging those attacks and then use a Wing attack! Go!” Rocket called out to Fret. Fret nodded and dodged another Bite attack.

“Pidgey! Pidgey!” he called out as he swooped down with his wings spred out as far as they could go. He hit Nina knocking her down. But despite the damage she managed to get back up onto her feet.

“Nina, use a Take Down on the Pidgey!” Angela called out. She clutched her hands into fists and hoped for Fret to faint. Nina ran to Fret at full speed preparing for a full force Take Down hit! Fret prepared for the attack when Rocket ordered him to use Mirror Move. This was a risky move but Rocket was tired of dodging every move that was sent out.

“Pidgeeey!” Fret cried as he used Mirror Move. Mirrors formed around him and spun rapidly. He then flew down at Nina at full force, the mirrors still spinning around him. He and Nina were now iche’s away until finally they hit! Nina sustained a lot of damage from Mirror Move and Fret sustained heavy damage from Take Down. The Mirrors broke and vanished once the attack had finished. Fret was on the ground from the attack and was slowly getting back up as was Nina. They both were very tired and weak from the attacks and the amount of dodging they did.

“Fret can you go on?” Rocket asked Fret. Fret got onto his feet shacking his head to get off some dirt. He looked to Rocket, smiled and nodded as if he were telling her that this battle has just begun. He looked to Nina who had also successfully gotten back up and cried out. He opened his wings and once again took off into the Sky. Angela watched as Fret showed that he had the strength to continue on with the battle. She looked to Nina to see that she was ready for a command.

“Nina, use Headbutt!” Angela called out.

“Nidoran!” she called out as she ran to Fret. She jumped up and hit Fret hard with a Headbutt attack nearly knocking him down.

“Fret I know you can try one more attack! Make this attack the ending attack! Wing attack on Nina! Go!” Rocket called out to Fret. She was confident that Fret could pull off this last attack and win the battle. Fret flew down towards the female Nidoran. She was sweating and breathing hard.

“Pidgey!” Fret cried as he attempted a Wing Attack.

“Nido!” Nina called out as she dodged the first Wing attack. Fret turned around and attempted the attack again.

“Dorina!” Nina cried as she dodged the attack once more. Rocket became a little nervous not knowing if Fret could actually pull off this attack. Fret once again turned around and headed towards Nina. Nina attempted another doge but was hit by the Wing Attack and was sent back a couple of feet and landing on her stomach.

“Nina try to get back up! C’mon I know you can!” Angela called out. Nina slowly tried to get back up, her legs shacking and her breathing heavy. Fret landed on the ground also breathing heavy and very tired. Nina was on all fours now but then, she slowly closed her eyes and fell to the ground onto her side. Nina had fainted and Fret had won the match.

“Fret that was perfect! Our first win at a battle against another Trainer!” Rocket yelled excitedly. She then walked to Angela who was holding Nina in her arms rubbing her large, round, blue ears. Angela looked up to Rocket who was now in front of her and smiling.

“That was an awesome battle! Your Nidoran is very well trained” she said. Angela smiled and looked to Fret who was still on the ground.

“Yeah, your Pidgey is also very………what the!?” Angela said as Fret began to glow. Rocket quickly turned around to see Fret’s small Pidgey body change. Its wings became larger as did it tail feathers and talons. Fret then gained what looked to be long feathers on his head. Soon the glowing color vanished and Fret’s true colors were shown. He was a brown, tan and now he had a red color on his tail feathers and on the feathers on his head.

“Pidgeotto! Pidge! To!” Fret cried out. Rocket couldn’t believe her eyes. Fret had evolved into a Pidgeotto!

“Man that was cool! I have always heard about evolution but never did get to see it till just now! That was so cool!” Rocket said as she and Angela looked at Fret.

“Congratulations on your Pidgey evolving!” Angela said. Rocket nodded and returned Fret to his pokeball.

“I never got your name, what it is?” she asked Rocket. Rocket feeling a little embarrassed rubbed the back of her head. She laughed a little bit and then put her arm down.

“My name is Rocket and I hope that we can battle again soon” she said. Angela nodded and waved goodbye to Rocket. Angela then headed out back towards Mount Moon leaving Rocket in Pewter city. Rocket sighed and went into to Pokemon center to heal Fret. When she got in her other pokeballs were ready to be taken back. Rocket handed Nurse Joy Fret’s pokeball and she took back her other pokeballs that were on the counter. Rocket went back and sat on the bench waiting for Fret to return. As she waited she could only remember the evolution that happened not even 20 minutes ago and how magical it looked.

[RocketMeowth]

Time- 8:37 p.m

Rocket looked away from the clock. She had fallen asleep on the bench for four hours. She yawned and got up to see a pokeball on the counter. There was a note attached to the pokeball with some tape. Rocket walked over to the counter and read the note.

To Rocket,

Hello Rocket. You were asleep and I didn’t wish to wake you up. Here is Fret all healed up and ready to go. I am in the back right now with a very sick Growlithe. You can take Fret and go if you wish. Well if I wish you a wonderful journey and please, take care.

From,
Nurse Joy

Rocket put the note away and put Fret’s pokeball in her vest with her other pokeballs. She walked outside to feel a cool breeze. It was dark out and lights were on in all the buildings. It was a beautiful site. Rocket walked on until she spotted the museum. A large building with two entrances one of which was locked.

“Crud, I wonder what’s behind here. Oh well better go through the other door before I am caught and yelled at” Rocket said to herself. She then entered into the Museum to be greeted by a lady behind a desk.

“Hello and welcome to the Pewter City Museum. Here we have many old relics here as well as models of upcoming or past projects. The entrance fee is only $10 per person. It used to be $50 but we weren’t getting many people so we lowered the price” the woman said. Rocket reached into her pocket and pulled out a ten dollar bill and handed it to the woman.

“Thank you and please, enjoy you trip here” she said politely. Rocket looked around and couldn’t believe her eyes. There were skeletons of ancient pokemon, a model of the S.S. Ann and so much more. Rocket was eyeing the Kabutops Skeleton when she heard a strange noise. It sounded like a crash from somewhere inside the Museum.

“Aaaaaah! What do you want!” cried a voice. Rocket turned around to see the lady at the desk surrounded by strange figures in black outfits with large red R’s on the front of them. All the other people in the Museum were frozen stiff with fear and none of them looked like they had any pokemon.

“We want that Amber piece and you aren’t going to prevent us from getting it! Now, tell me where it is or we may just have to use our pokemon. And you wouldn’t want that!” said on of the four men in black.

“Please, I just work at the desk I have no clue what this Amber piece is! Please, let me go I am worth nothing to you!” the woman cried out. The men looked at one another then to the woman.

“You’re coming with us!” on of the men said. He grabbed the woman’s right arm and pulled her towards them.

“No please! Someone help me!” she cried out in terror.

“Let her go now!” Rocket yelled as she stepped forward. The men in black all looked to her as she spoke to them.

“This woman did nothing to you! Let her go or I will have to use my pokemon!” she said to them in an angry voice. She had a look on her face that indicated that she wasn’t playing and she would sick her pokemon on the men without so much as a small regret.

“Look kid, unless you wish to join her I suggest you stay out of our way! Oh and to help you I think I will send out two friends of mine” said one of the men. He took out two pokeballs and threw them. Out of the pokeballs came two large dog like pokemon. Theirs body’s were like a Lion but the had stripes like a Tiger.

“Arcanine!” they both called out. Rocket pulled out two of her pokeballs and threw them releasing both Lil Howler and Fret. As Rocket watched then men in front of her she didn’t notice that two men had snuck behind her. She was about to call out and attack when one of the people yelled out to Rocket.

“Look out young miss! Behind you!” yelled a man still too nervous to move. Rocket turned around but was captured right then and there. The two men in black turned Rocket around and held her arms behind her back. Rocket felt like an idiot to be captured so easily. Lil Howler and Fret stood there not knowing weather to attack of to stay put.

“Who are-your creeps!?” Rocket yelled as she tried to fight the man holding onto her.

“We are Team Rocket and we steal for a living! We are feared by all in this Region and are to never be taken lightly!” the man yelled confidently. He turned to the woman that was still being held by one of the Rocket men.

“Now I will only ask you one last time! Where is the Amber piece!?” the Rocket yelled.

“I swear I don’t know! The scientists that work here always disappear when they are deep into their work! I don’t know where they go!” the woman said terrified.

“I am Jordan a Rocket Grunt! I am not going to stand for this disobedience any longer! Arcanine come here now and prepare to take this woman away now!” yelled Jordan. One of the two Arcanine looked up and started to head towards Jordan.

“Wing Attack!”