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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 10-10-2009, 03:53 AM
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Default Purified (PG) [Ch. 5 Finally!]

I can't believe I'm doing this . . .






Purified
A Record of the First Shadow Incident
(A Retelling of Pokémon Coliseum)







>--Preface--<


Yep. I'm attempting to rewrite the story of Pokemon Colosseum. I really enjoyed playing the game --no wait-- I LOVED playing the game, and I know that there are several people here who haven't had the opportunity to play it. And so, I have several reasons for writing this. First, I want to share this wonderful story with those who don't know it. Second, I wanted to write how I saw and interpreted all of the events in Orre. Maybe I might fix up some story gaps, or improve some things. Plus, I wanted to make Wes (the main character) seem more real and give him a personality. Third, I need something to satisfy myself until the next Shadow video game comes out (assuming it does). Fourth, I see this as a practice for my writing. Yes, the plot is already there. This then leaves room for me to improve on other things, such as style, grammer, and tools. Also, it gives me something to work on when I have writer's block *coughcough* on my other stories. Therefore, I would greatly appreciate any kind of input on ways I can improve. Please, feel free to point out mistakes or places that need a little patching up. ^^

It is not my intent to offend or mis-interpret any factor of this tale. I apologize for any mistakes I might make, now and in the future.


Things You Should Know:

1- I might add things to the plot, but for the most part I'm staying true to the story.

2- Don't expect romance. I suck at it, and for all I know Wes and Rui are just friends. ^^'

3- As I have said in my other fan fic, I do not believe that foul language, excessive gore, and romance gone too far belong in Pokemon. Excuse me for being blunt, but that's how I feel about my stories.

5-The Pokemon in my fic will know more than four moves. So don't get worried if I have Umbreon use Bite, Faint Attack, Quick Attack, Secret Power, Snatch, ect, all in the same battle. Its smart in video games, but here in a more realistic setting, why should they forget moves?

6-I'll use some 4th Gen stuff in here. Mostly moves, though. ^^'

7-I hope I don't screw this up . . .





>--Table Of Contents--<



Without further ado, I bring you Pokemon Colosseum: Purified!

Last edited by Charmander009; 04-14-2010 at 05:29 AM.
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Old 10-10-2009, 03:54 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Character Profiles


--Under Construction--


Wes
Rui
Yin
Yang

Willie
Gonzap
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Last edited by Charmander009; 10-17-2009 at 12:06 AM.
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Old 10-10-2009, 03:54 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) (Under Construction)

Prologue: Shelter from the Storm

The sandstorm loomed ever closer. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see the brown cloud engulfing the desert behind us like a mammoth monster. I needed to find shelter soon, or else we would become victims to its relentless fury as well. In the passenger cart beside me, Rui looked scared out of her wits. Worry and fear had etched their mark on her pale face, framing her bright blue eyes. Normally she had kept her hands cupped over her ears to block out the roar of the desert runner’s engine. Now they kept a death grip on the sides of her cart.

She turned to me and shouted a question, but the words were lost over all the noise. I was pressing this hunk of junk harder then I had ever dared to, but all that did was eat more gas. However, I could imagine what she asked. In reply, I shouted, “Almost” and she seemed to understand.

Columns of red-brown rock flew past us as I angled more to the south. It was here, somewhere. I kept my eyes peeled, searching for a particular rock formation that could save us from being wiped out. It had been a long time since I had last been in these parts, but the memory was still with me. Hopefully, I could still find it.

Finally, I could see it: a boat-shaped rock hidden by several other spires. Allowing myself to relax a little, I slowed the runner down. I had taken a big chance by coming out here, but I knew I had no other choice. Hopefully, everything was still in in order.

“Is this it?” I could finally hear Rui’s voice as the engine gradually quieted. Without answering, I leapt off the machine to face the rock. Running my shaking hands over its surface, I searched for a inconspicuous groove that ran parallel to the earth. The clock was racing, and every second counted. I had to find it. I knew it was . . . There. Now, I reached my fingers into the gap and felt for the trigger, all the while praying that the pulleys were still intact. My hand met it, and I braced myself as I pulled.

Grrr-ack! came a resounding grind as a section of the rock popped out. Counting my lucky stars, I ran over and raised the door the rest of the way up. It wasn’t as easy as it once had, having been rusted over with age, but I managed. Grudgingly, the shelter revealed itself. Hopping back into my runner, I eased it under the gate. Its popping and chugging echoed in the musty structure, but it was no where near how loud the rumbling and howling the sandstorm made as it drew nearer. After killing the engine, I raced back to the door to close it. The wind was begging to stir and the sun grew dim outside. It would only be moments until they were finally overtaken.

Stretching my hand up above me, I grabbed the door and tried to yank it back down. However, it stubbornly resisted. My heart nearly skipped a beat. I tried harder and harder, but the door barely budged. Rui saw the dilemma and joined my side. Together, we finally managed to slam the door shut. The air grew eerily quiet, save for our breathing, until the sand began to patter against the shelter. Finally, all the tension vanished. I exhaled in relief at our incredible luck. I didn’t even think we’d get this far. Turning around, I took a good look at the room.

A fine coat of dust and sand covered everything, from the desk to the sparsely provided furniture. Other than that, the shelter looked just like I had last seen it. There was the shelves, carved straight out of the rock, along with the old cots and creaky chairs. Some light filtered in from a sturdy window above, but as the storm progressed it would soon fade away. It was enough to see that some sand occasionally spewed from the air vents, yet that was nothing threatening.

“We’ll be safe here?” Rui interrupted my thoughts, her eyes full of doubt as she scanned her new surroundings.

“Safe enough,” was my vague answer. It was risky coming here, and if it had been any later that door might not have worked. Even now I wondered if we would even be able to make it back out. I didn’t voice that concern. Instead, I released my closest companions from their Poké Balls. In a brilliant flash of light a pair of odd-looking foxes, one purple and the other black, materialized into the room. The purple one, with its large ears and forked tail, looked about in keen curiosity. His partner yawned and stretched, looking only mildly interested. I smiled and reached down to stroke its sleek black fur before straying farther into the shelter.

“How long will it last?” came yet another question from Rui, who had hung back by the door. She seemed hesitant to walk into the dusty room. My Espeon, who I had named Yin, perked his ears up. He was a psychic type, but he wasn’t skilled enough to use true telepathy. Still, he could communicate feelings to me. Through this, sent me an equivocal answer.

“A while. An hour at most,” I shrugged.

The young girl sighed, then stepped closer. “Well, we’d better make the most of it,” she tried to sound optimistic. Pulling up a chair, she tried to pat off the dust as best as she could. This, however, only rewarded her by making her sneeze. I chuckled and looked away as the room began to darken. A light fixture hung above, but it probably wouldn’t work at all. We would have to rely on the light coming from my other Pokémon, an Umbreon named Yang. He gave off enough light for me to notice the metal racks hiding in the far corner. I didn’t remember ever seeing them before, so in curiosity I went in for a closer look.

Yang saw them, too, and followed. With the extra light, I could finally see what the racks held: small spherical objects. Right then, a shadow passed across my face. Tentatively, I picked up a ball and wiped the grime from its surface. It was a Poké Ball, but on the top of it was an ominous black chip that identified what it truly was; Snag Balls, from the main machine. The metal on my arm suddenly felt much heavier, but my anger rose to counter-balance.

Rui jumped from her seat at the ruckus the racks made as they crashed to the ground. I felt her questioning stare boring into my back. For once, I wished that she would have enough sense to stay quiet. But, being Rui, she had to ask questions.

“What-,” she began.

“Nothing,” I cut her off, keeping my back to her. She was clearly taken aback, maybe even hurt. I shouldn’t have been so sharp, but I allowed an uncomfortable silence to grow. After a while, she spoke up.

“Wes,” she started, slowly and cautiously, “I feel like I have no idea who you are. I know what you’re doing, and I have a clue of what you did before. But no matter how much I try, I just can’t figure you out.”

“It’s probably better that way,” I lowered my voice with a sigh. Don’t do this, Rui.
“No, it’s not,” she pressed, growing frustrated. “How are we suppose to work together if I don’t know who you really are.”

I didn’t answer. I just kept my eyes on the wall in front of me.

“I know that you’ve changed,” she continued, a shadow of a plead underlying her determined tone. “But sometimes, with the way you act, it’s hard to tell.”

“I’ve been helping you, haven’t I?” My eyes strayed to the device on my arm. “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course, but . . . ,” admitted she uncertainly.

“Then what more do you want from me?” I spun around to face her, but she returned my glare unabatedly. Yin and Yang watched warily from a safe distance, the tension making them uneasy.

“Answers, Wes. I want answers.”

I exhaled in exaggerated volume as I sat down on a nearby chair, not caring if it was filthy. Slipping of my glasses and gloves, I ran my hands through my sandy-white hair. Why had I dragged myself into this mess? I never intended for this to happen. I was going to live the rest of my life away from all this trouble, but somehow I had been pulled right back into the mess of things. It seemed as if I could never rid myself of the past. Rui wasn’t helping. I knew what she wanted to ask, but why did she have to open old wounds? What a fool I was, to think that I could leave it all behind me.

Rui bit her lip, but asked in a softer voice the questions I had guessed she wanted answered. “Why did you do it? Why did you join them?”

I looked over at her, wondering how many secrets I wanted to keep from her. She had been nothing good to me, but I still couldn’t bring myself to trust her completely. I couldn’t trust anyone. That was what I had learned living on this cursed soil, but . . . Since meeting her, I’ve began to think otherwise. Maybe there were better people out there. Maybe, I should trust her more. It burned at me to keep everything bound up within me. I needed to release some of that pressure, or else it would kill me. Yet, I hesitated to share my burden with this girl. Half of what stopped me, most annoyingly, was the worry of what she might think of me. Seeing her now, I knew that I couldn’t hide this anymore. She was going to force it out of me or leave. And I couldn’t . . .

“Rui, I had no other choice,” I finally began, and my life story began to unfold . . .
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Last edited by Charmander009; 10-12-2009 at 07:35 PM.
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Old 10-10-2009, 04:00 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) (Under Construction)

Chapter One: Finding Freedom


Orre is no man’s land, the roughest region in the Pokémon World. Most of this place is harsh, unforgiving desert and rugged ground. Many of the inhabitants are just as inhospitable and coarse, being thugs and thieves of all shapes and sizes. It is no place for the frail or light-hearted. You have to be strong and independent to survive in this Pokémon-eat-Pokémon society. You have to watch your own back and look out only for yourself, because trust is hard to place.

For whatever reason Fate came up with, I was born here. My mother was a hard-working individual, but was overcome with poverty. Meanwhile, I hardly knew my father. He had run off long before I could remember what he looked like. Most of the time it was just me and my mother, and we barely managed to scrape by. She took a job, often worked overtime, for a measly wage. But after a while, it proved too much for her. When I was still very young, she grew very ill and eventually passed away. I still don’t remember much, but I try hard not to think too much of it.

After that, I was all alone and out in the streets. I had to learn to survive on my own out in the streets, by whatever means necessary. Oddly enough, help came through the most unlikeliest source. A pair of Eevee, brothers by the look of it, became my closest friends. Even though they were Pokémon, they showed me ways I could scrape by. This often resulted in thievery and deceit. Soon, I became a very skilled pickpocket. I only stole when necessary, and with great regret and guilt. Still, I knew I had to do it. Everyday was a great challenge, especially for a small boy living on his own. Thievery was the only answer.

My skills, however, didn’t go unnoticed. One day, after I had been caught pocketing fruit, I had been severely beaten. They left me in a cold, dark alley to cry from the pain. I still remember their dark laughter as those people abandoned me, and cursing their cruelty. Suddenly, a shadow passed over me. Looking up, my eyes met those of a group of men dressed in dark-red and black. Their leader, a very tall man with a bald head and abnormally long eyebrows, bent over and picked me up. Immediately, they became heroes in my eyes. These men took me back to their base and took care of me, giving me food, clothes, and shelter. The leader, a man who introduced himself as Gonzap, took me under his wing and made sure I got anything I ever wanted. I couldn’t believe that these people were so capable of being so generous and kind to me.

Later, I learned that this was the infamous Pokémon-stealing gang known as Team Snagem. They were notoriously known in Orre as ruthless Pokemon abductors who used advanced technology for their goals. At first, I was intimidated, but after all they did for me, I came to revere them. I was only a boy, and quite impressionable then. Looking back, its hard to think that I yearned so badly to be a part of them. I realize now what Gonzap had done with me. He had only treated me so well as to gain my confidence, then use my talents to his own purposes. Of course, I had no idea then. All that I knew is that I stood a chance to survive with this crew, and so I threw my lot in with them. I was thrilled when they offered me a position among their ranks.

Quickly, I rose through the ranks to become on of their best Snaggers. I hardly ever failed to catch a target. At first, the process fascinated me. A Poké Ball could be transformed and re-wired using a Snag Machine, allowing it to catch a Trainer’s Pokémon in battle. It felt all wrong, but I was constantly justifying myself. Stolen Pokémon turned into pay, into food, and that’s what kept me going. Every time, however, the distraught look on the faces of the Snagged Pokémon’s Trainer gave me reason to doubt. As the years passed on, I began to see through the lies of Gonzap and his crew.

On one particular day, I had succeeded in Snagging a Machop from a young boy. But after seeing the lad break down and cry, I couldn’t take it anymore. I gave the Snag Ball back, and walked to the base empty-handed. Gonzap was furious with me, of course, and docked my pay. However, I had already made up my mind. I wasn’t going to live like this any longer. I got what I wanted from Team Snag ‘em, and now it was time to take my leave.

Today was a busy day for Team Snagem. A band of Snaggers had returned with a fair-sized load of Pokémon, and each member had their hands full. Up in the lab, the scientists were scurrying about the tables, examining a collection of vials scattered about their surfaces. Gonzap was sitting at his desk, going over a stack of papers, and hardly noticed when I approached. His attention, however, was reverted when I slammed my red-jacket, gear, and Snag Balls onto his desk.

“What’s this?” he growled in annoyance when he looked up at me. I had changed from my uniform, into my old blue overcoat, and that seemed to further his agitation.

“My resignation,” I returned his angry scowl.

Gonzap considered my confident stance for a moment, then broke out in laughter. His mirth, however, was controlled, and I knew he was growing upset. “No one resigns from Team Snagem, boy.”

“So what do you call me leaving, and never coming back?” I was unfazed by his forced laughter.

The smile disappeared from his face quickly. “I’d call that foolishness.”

“Then call me a fool,” I removed my hands from his desk and made a move to leave.

“Stop right there,” Gonzap finally stood up, slamming his own hands on the poor desk. He was a large-built and intimidating man, but I wasn’t afraid of him. I turned to face him undaunted, trying not to show any emotion. The other Snagem members looked up from their work to see what was happening, but grew uneasy as they saw their leader’s face grow red with anger.

“What makes you think you can just pack up and leave? The moment you step foot off my property, you’ll regret it! Mark me!” he barked.

“I’ll take my chances,” I replied coolly, ignoring the stares from the others.

The Snagem leader was bristling, but he didn’t make any move to stop me. He couldn’t control me. I was my own person, no longer his secret tool.

“After everything I did for you-,” he began.

“You used me!” I raised my voice.

He had little to stay to that, but I could have sworn that steam was coming out his ears. I turned my back to him, and once again made my way from the room. No one followed. Gonzap was too infuriated to think straight. But I left that room feeling better than I ever remember. But before I left for good, I had some unfinished business to attend to. A small smile spread across my face as I went over my plans in my head. Reaching into my pocket, I wrapped my fingers around a small device. This would be it; my final revenge. I was going to leave in style.

Yin and Yang appeared out of their Poke Balls in a brilliant flash of light. They looked up with the same determination I felt as well.

“Are you guys with me?” I asked them, and they replied eagerly. My smile widened as I said, “Then lets do this.”

*****

Everything is now in place, I thought with a smirk. Yang, the Umbreon, looked up from my side, expectantly. We were braced up against a wall, trying our best not to be spotted. No one usually came through this part of the building, except for the occasional scientist, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. Rubbing my Pokémon’s head behind his pointed black ears, I took out the small device and pressed its button in, taking delight in the tiny click it made. Immediately, it began to beep and flash lights.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Boom!

The entire hideout shook from the force of the explosion. Silently, I hoped that all the bones in each of the Snagem members vibrated in their frames. In my mind’s eye, I just imagined their startled and confused expressions.

“Umbre!” Yang interrupted my tiny daydream, reminding me of the limited time I had. The sound of the explosion would send the Snagem goons running, so if I was going to go through with this I needed to move fast. Slipping from our hiding spot, I rushed into the gaping hole my tiny bomb had made in the wall. The dust began to clear around me enough to see into the poorly lit room. My glasses glinted from the sunlight outside as I glanced about, searching for it.

Finally, there it was. Resting on a wooden stand within was a black and red machine that was shaped and jointed like an arm. That was no ordinary machine, however. What I found myself looking at was the one and only portable Snag Machine, light enough to be carried by a single person. Any empty Poké Ball its wielder touched was instantly rewired into Snag ball. I walked up on it, rested my hand on it, and allowed a great smile to spread across my lips. Part one of my plan was finished. Now to move on to the next step.

“Bree!” came Yang’s call once more. Looking over my shoulder, I could see him standing back from the destroyed wall outside, motioning with his head behind him. Yin must be ready. I hurried and took the Snag Machine just as shouting erupted from the floor above. Finally, I smirked, then took off through the hole in the wall.

“Stop!” I heard a closer voice, but I didn’t dare look back. I knew that I was being pursued now. Just keep following me, boys, I thought, all while calculating within my head. Up ahead, Yin the Espeon sat waiting patiently in the passenger cart to a massive junk-pile of machinery. It had a giant, open engine at its front, but the entire machine rested on a single wheel. There was nothing that could cross this desert better than this rig. And that was my ticket out of this mess, my beat-up desert runner. Yang jumped in beside his partner, and I tossed the Snag Machine after him. Without a moment’s hesitation, I revved up the engine and took off through the canyon. My pursuers were left in the dust.

However, I had one last surprise for them. As soon as I could see that they were all outside, I raised up my arm with the remote within my hand once again. As soon as I pressed in the button another deafening explosion, this one bigger and louder, shook the walls of the canyon. No doubt all of the Snagems had just jumped out of their socks, and stared aghast at the ruins of their building. Laughing, I tossed the remote behind me and lifted the glasses off of my face. I had just done the unthinkable. I had blown up the main Snag Machine, destroyed Gonzap’s property, and stole their only portable machine. Now, Snagem was no more. Now, Pokémon would not be stolen from their proper owners. Now, I was free.
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Last edited by Charmander009; 11-02-2009 at 09:48 PM.
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Old 10-10-2009, 03:18 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Hmm, It's a pretty interesting story. However, one thing I noticed from the get-go is that you seem to be very fond of using the Enter key when it shouldn't be used. Don't press it every twelve words or so to make the story look longer or anything, as it makes the story feel choppy and hard to follow. We're all used to the Enter key being pressed twice showing a change of subject, so continuing the sentence on that new line takes a while to register in my mind.

For example...
Quote:

For whatever reason Fate came up with, I was born here. My mother was a hard-working individual, but was overcome with poverty. Meanwhile, I hardly knew my father. He had run

off long before I could remember what he looked like. Most of the time it was just me and my mother, and we barely managed to scrape by. She took a job, often worked overtime, for a

measly wage. But after a while, it proved too much for her. When I was still very young, she grew very ill and eventually passed away. I still don’t remember much, but I try hard not to

think too much of it.
becomes...

Quote:

For whatever reason Fate came up with, I was born here. My mother was a hard-working individual, but was overcome with poverty. Meanwhile, I hardly knew my father. He had run off long before I could remember what he looked like. Most of the time it was just me and my mother, and we barely managed to scrape by. She took a job, often worked overtime, for a measly wage. But after a while, it proved too much for her. When I was still very young, she grew very ill and eventually passed away. I still don’t remember much, but I try hard not to think too much of it.
It's unnecessary and annoying. But other than that, I think it's pretty good for a retelling.
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(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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Old 10-10-2009, 04:16 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

I really like this story so far Char!! I LOVED playing Colosseum and GoD as well!! They are such awesome games!! Wes is just awesme!! And I like how you gave him a backstory. It really does make him seem more real as a character. I can't wait to read more!!
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Old 10-10-2009, 06:30 PM
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Oh, okay. I am a little 'enter' key happy. ^^' I didn't mean to make it look longer. I just like double-spaced documents, so I tried to do it here, but if you think its annoying I'll get it fixed right away. And I can't tell you how nervous I am with this story, but I'm glad you guys enjoyed it so far. And thanks, Shion! ^^ He has such a sad backstory, though. Poor Wes.

This is one of the first stories that I've written in first person. ^^; Its . . . different. X D

Up above, I'm going to turn that second post into a Character Profile thing eventually, mostly so that people can remember or else see how the characters look. ^^

Last edited by Charmander009; 10-10-2009 at 06:56 PM.
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Old 10-10-2009, 07:26 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

What you need to remember is that what looks like one line to you may be more than one line on a different computer. This is not an easy fic to read. It's probably best to try not to simulate spacing, because many computers will see it differently.
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~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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Old 10-11-2009, 12:47 AM
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Whoa, I didn't know that at all. I guess I should just re-do the whole thing. ^^'

Thanks for the help, Giratina. I hope I can get this right, and do this story some justice.



Edit: Gosh, I'm such a dork. Is it any better now?

Last edited by Charmander009; 10-11-2009 at 12:58 AM.
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Old 10-11-2009, 06:05 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Whoa, I didn't know that at all. I guess I should just re-do the whole thing. ^^'

Thanks for the help, Giratina. I hope I can get this right, and do this story some justice.

Edit: Gosh, I'm such a dork. Is it any better now?
I think I'll have to read this later. ^^ And I don't believe in only four moves for a Pokemon either--it's lame! I have up to eight usually. ;P They don't need too many attacks, but more than four anyway. xD

xD I love that word...dork... xD Also, I love Colosseum... :3 I'm actually in the midst of playing through it again. ^^ Where does the story begin?

~Xanthe.
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Old 10-11-2009, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
“Is this it?” I could finally hear Rui’s voice as the engine gradually. Without answering, I leapt off the machine to face the rock.
I think you meant "as the engine gradually quieted."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Everything is now in place, I though with a smirk. Yang, the Umbreon, looked up from my side, expectantly.
I think you mean thought, not though...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Gosh, I'm such a dork. Is it any better now?
Oh, don't worry, everyone makes mistakes. (And yes, on your other fic it is that way too and it makes it hard to read, but it's still good. XD)

Anyhow, I must say, this is awesome! And it inspires me to write right now, which I will do in a moment... Anyhow, interesting character, this Wes... Makes me think of one of my newest characters...

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Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
xD I love that word...dork...

~Xanthe.
I'm sorry this is off-topic, but WOW! That was random! XD You know what a funny work is? Fork. (That's what you saying that made me think......)

Last edited by Guard13007; 10-11-2009 at 08:20 AM.
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Old 10-11-2009, 09:19 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

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Originally Posted by Guard13007 View Post
I'm sorry this is off-topic, but WOW! That was random! XD You know what a funny work is? Fork. (That's what you saying that made me think......)
It's totally on-topic. xD And yeah! (*word, not work xD). And trolley... xD

~Xanthe.
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Old 10-11-2009, 12:46 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

I've only just started reading this, so I've only read the prologue...but I thought I might comment anyway.

I'm a little confused at this point, having never played the game, but I'm sure it'll get more clear as I read more. I really liked the way you described the settings and emotions and even a little bit about the two pokemon. I hope they'll have interesting personalities as the story goes on.

I only saw one typo, here:
Quote:
Through this, sent me a equivocal answer.
It should be 'an.'

Not much else to say right now as I've only barely started reading, but I'm interested to see where the story goes!
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Old 10-11-2009, 09:02 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
It's totally on-topic. xD And yeah! (*word, not work xD). And trolley... xD

~Xanthe.
Fine! Then I'll be off topic by replying to your sig!

Did I really miss another typo!? Maybe I shouldn't stay up so late... >.<"

Wait, trolley? Hmph, that is a funny word...

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"If I see a deer loping by, I'll be sure to catch it for you." - Hige, Wolf's Rain.
Okay, Hige, catch that one! *points at a nearby deer*

~~~

So Char, how's chapter two coming along? //
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Old 10-12-2009, 07:26 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Whoa, I'm gone for a day and look what happens! I didn't expect this much replies. o_o

That's great, though. ^^ And while we're putting out random words, here's one: Antidisestablishmentarianism! Bwah, ha, ha, ha!

@G. S: Yeah, four moves is totally lame! The story actually begins in a prologue I made up. I don't know if Rui and Wes ever got caught in a sandstorm, but I started like this to set the mood. Basically, half of the story is going to be flashbacks. After the prologue it begins with Wes's humble beginnings. Eventually, I get to the opening of the game with a BANG!

@ Scy: It was confusing? Well, I'm trying to write it so it wouldn't be. The prologue might be just a bit off, but I hope that afterwards it will pick up. ^^ Thank you for reading! And thanks for the editing!

Yeah editing! Thank you all! ^^ I'll get those fixed!

@Guard: Heheh, fork. X D Well, I'm glad that I offered some inspiration! LOL, I guess I have to go fix my other story. Thanks to this story, I got over my writers block! Yay! And I actually have chapter two and most of three done. I'm just being evil and waiting to post them later. X D

Last edited by Charmander009; 10-12-2009 at 09:46 PM.
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