The Dark Secrets of the Orb of Invincibility

[DarkraiRaider]

Chapter 4!

Chapter 4

Liam ran to Cryst, who was barely moving.
“What happened?” Tygruti cried, running to her.
“Not sure,” Liam replied. “I think that human wasn’t a human.”
“Either way…” Tygruti began.
“No time! She’s dying,” Liam cut him off.
“I know what to do,” a low female voice suddenly said. It was the pure-white Flareon they’d seen earlier.
“Hystera Lyinstsha?” Liam asked.
“Yeah it’s me. No time for formalities, Liam. She’s dying, right? Follow me. Bring her and hurry!” Hystera answered. Liam loaded Cryst onto his back and followed her into the woods, Tygruti bringing up the rear. Hystera led them to a cottage. She dragged a berry from a tree nearby and went over to Liam.
“Drop her,” she ordered and Liam dropped Cryst. Hystera shoved the berry into Cryst’s mouth. She moved Cryst’s jaws so that the berry was mashed up and pushed the pulp under Cryst’s tongue.
“The poison should stop soon, and her throat will heal in a couple weeks,” Hystera told Liam. “You can stay here till then.”
“What was that thing?” Liam asked.
“A Ghyu,” Hystera replied. “They are shape-shifters that look like humans, but they’re evil Pokemon in reality.”
“Whoah.”
“Yeah,” Hystera said. Just then, Cryst coughed weakly. Liam looked over at her anxiously. Hystera thought she detected a little love in his gaze.
“Liam, come with me.” She and Liam walked behind the cottage.
“You love her, don’t you?” Hystera asked.
“Well… Yes. I do,” Liam answered quietly. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a glint of black. “What’s that?”
“What’s…” Hystera began, trailing off as she saw it too. Liam went over to a tree and pulled a scrap of obsidian-like material out of a fork in the branches.
“What’s this?” he wondered. It seemed to have an aura of darkness around it, and it glowed faintly. Hystera trembled.
“Katre,” she whispered.
“Huh?”
“Katre. She’s a Jyuch. She serves Fallarbor directly.”
“Jyuchs… The Darkness Demons?”
“Yes.”
“Liam! Cryst!” Tygruti called. Liam ran to Cryst’s side. She was awake.
“Liam…” she croaked. Her throat was healed. She got up with difficulty. “The Mightyena… He said Katre sent him.”
Hystera exchanged a dark look with Liam.
“Well? Let’s go!” Cryst said.
“I’m coming,” Hystera said. The 4 set off.

It was dusk when they reached a huge forest.
“The Ghyu Forest,” Hystera said.
“What’s a Ghyu?” Cryst asked.
“A human-like shape-shifter, like that Mightyena,” Liam explained. They pressed on. A Ghyu leapt down from the trees.
“Stop! I’m Samatra!” she pleaded.
“Samatra!” a cold voice roared. Samatra screamed as the Jyuch of the forest gripped her throat. The Jyuch of the Forest had a black orb, and no iris. Her entire eye, iris and whites, was blood-red. She had a black cloak with gold strikes. “You traitor!”
“Please Sadra, please!” Samatra begged.
“No mercy this time,” Sadra roared. She raised Samatra in the air.
“No! No, please!” Samatra screamed.
“STOP!” Tygruti yelled. “Unhand her!” Sadra glared at him. Her form shimmered and she became a smiling, beautiful Flame Shi.
“Tygruti,” she purred. “Quiet.” Tygruti went slack-jawed. Cryst let out a thunderous roar.
“Quiet, vampire!” Sadra roared. Her form shimmered again and Tygruti attacked. Sadra roared and lashed out at Tygruti. She flung Samatra away.
“Samatra!” Tygruti cried. Sadra shifted into a beautiful girl.
“Tygruti, forget her,” she said in a sweet voice. “Come with me.”
He stared, transfixed.
“Tygruti, no!” Cryst cried.
“Kiss me,” Sadra purred. Cryst, in desperation, did something she would never normally do.
She ran up to Tygruti, yanking his face to face hers.
Then she kissed him.

[Mawile_rocks2]

Originally Posted by DarkraiRaider

Liam: An amazingly handsome Mightyena with molten gold eyes, a silvery-bronze crescent scar going from over his eye to the corner of his mouth, and firey bronze eyes. He's much like Cryst, but is a little more headstrong, if that's even possible. He and Cryst are a team you want covering your back in a fight.

Might I inform you of this?

[DarkraiRaider]

Originally Posted by Mawile_rocks2

Might I inform you of this?

Ahhhhh, thanks a bunch!

[DarkraiRaider]

Chapter 5

Tygruti was snapped out of his trance. He saw Cryst spin him around.
Then she kissed him.
It was the sweetest sensation he’d ever felt. Her soft lips on his, embracing him. He closed his eyes. The two jerked apart as a fearsome roar split the air, followed by a scream. Sadra had Samatra by the throat yet again. Tygruti shot a blast of fire at Sadra. Cryst mustered her power. The skull on her head glowed. Her whole body was enveloped in a brilliant white light. A roar pierced the air as a blast of white hit Sadra. Her screeches went on and on until they died away. Sadra was dead. Tygruti looked at her in amazement.
“You kissed me.”
“What? No, I…”
“Cryst, you kissed me,” Tygruti murmured. “That was wonderful.”
“Hmph. Let’s keep moving,” She replied, turning her back on him.
“Samatra, are you alright?”
“I’m fine. You were brave, to confront her like that,” Samatra said, following them.
“Well…er…” Tygruti stammered.
“Let’s move!” Liam called up ahead.

They trekked on.
“Be careful of the Seducer,” Samatra warned. “She lives around here. She’ll lure you away with her beauty, then kill you.”
Tygruti froze. He was staring into the trees. A beautiful young woman stood there. She had black shoulder-length hair, beautiful lips, a pink orb at her throat, a cloak, and a pink gown. She was Cryst, as he’d always imagined her in human form. She beckoned him forward.
“No, Tygruti!” Cryst hissed, dragging him away. Cryst looked back at the smiling girl. Her eyes narrowed as her smile turned to a sneer. Cryst cast a glance at another set of trees. She froze. Standing in the shade was a boy. It was Liam as she’d always imagined him in human form. His black hair was untidy, yet cute, and he still had the same eyes. A loving smile was on his face and he held his hand out. Cryst started going towards him, paw outstretched.
“No!” Liam hissed, dragging her back. She let out an anguished howl. Liam saw Cryst in the trees, still a beautiful vampire Pokemon. He reached for her. Samatra pulled all three away from the Seducers, who were advancing.
“Shlaer!” A voice called out. A boy stepped out of the trees, a hand raised. He was wearing a black cloak and a glowing orb was in his palm. The Seducers retreated.
“You guys were lucky,” he said. He threw his cloak hood off, revealing messy red hair and a boyish face.
“Who are you?” Cryst asked.
“Me? I’m a Seducer Enchanter,” the boy answered.
“But you’re a boy!” Samatra protested. The boy’s eyes flashed dangerously.
“You have a problem? Cause I can always call them back, you know.”
“No, no problem,” Liam quickly intervened.
“That’s not what I hear, dog,” the boy replied.
Liam growled.
“Chill,” Tygruti warned.
“My name’s Tyson,” the kid said. “C’mon. I’ll lead you out of the forest.” He looked at Samatra for the first time. She was looking at a monitor in disbelief, her deep brown eyes narrowed in concentration. Her specially styled pale navy hair was swept behind. She reached forward to adjust the monitor and her cloak swung back, revealing an eye-shaped birthmark. She quickly covered it up.
“Who’s she?” he asked.
“Samatra,” Liam answered.

That night, Cryst had a dream. A boy with crop-cut brown hair, a blue tunic, and an armband was walking down a dark passage. His eyes were glassy, a hand reached out in front of him, dripping blood. He stopped and turned into a vampiric Gallade. Blood dripped from Gallade’s hands.
“I’ve taken my true form, master,” the Gallade called. His voice was cold, sending chills up Cryst’s spine. “I’ve killed Lastra.”
“Good work,” a female voice rang out.
“Asterath, how is our master’s quest?”
“Well…”
“What? Is he irritated with you Skylaths?” sneered the Gallade boy. A girl came into Cryst’s view. She had green scales. A red forked tongue shot out and licked the Gallade’s face. He shuddered.
“You’ll tassssssssste good…when he givessssss me the order to dissssssspatch you…” she hissed.
“Save it. Fraghr used that one on me already, and she already booked me. Seemed to like the taste of power, Snakey,” teased the Gallade boy.
“Anywaysssssssss, your new missssssssssssion isssss to dissssssspatch that troublesssssssssome Liam,”she replied.
“Why should I get my commands from you? I get my commands from the Skylath Elder only, no one else!”
The girl hissed and she turned into a version of Medusa.
“I am nearly an Elder, child. Do it! Domination is ours…”
Cryst woke with a scream and found everything was not as she remembered.

[DarkraiRaider]

Chapter 6

Cryst saw a Skylath ambush squad. Hystera lay bleeding golden ichor to one side. Tygruti was out cold, with a Skylath guarding him. The Skylath ringleader held Samatra by the throat.
“You little back-stabbing Libshomin!” she hissed.
“Please, Fraghr!” Samatra begged.
“You may have defeated Sadra with your pleas, but I will not fall for it!” Fraghr sneered. “You’re doomed, traitor!”
“NO! PLEASE!” Samatra screamed.
“Samatra!” cried Tyson, who was curled up in a corner. A Skylath kicked him in the ribs. He groaned and curled into an even tighter fetal position.
“Leave him alone!” pleaded Samatra. A roar split the air. Twenty vampire Mightyena charged into the clearing.
“Neelakch Lefj Slagh!” (Attack the Skylath!) one Mightyena ordered in the ancient language of Savjx. The tribe let out a sound between a shriek, a wail, a moan, and a roar. The Skylath snarled and retreated. The tribe followed. The leader turned to them.
“Needfj?” she asked.
“Huh?” Tygruti said, limping up. The Mightyena frowned and rattled off a couple more words in ancient language.
“She says, ‘you’re safe for a while. You better clear out,’” Cryst translated. ‘My name is Cryst. What’s yours?”
“Ruul,” the Mightyena replied. Cryst nodded and turned to look for Liam. She saw him lying curled up next to a tree. She ran to him.
“Liam! Oh, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have fallen asleep. This is all my fault, shrvnevili!” she cursed.
“It’s… not… your fault…Cryst,” Liam said through gritted teeth.
“Yes it is!” Cryst sobbed, a tear falling on his face. More tears fell on his wounds. They began healing. Liam got up with difficulty. Cryst helped him. Two Mightyena came back. Ruul explained it to them in ancient language.
“She says that Faj and Fiyj are healers to help us tend to our wounded,” Cryst explained. “Thanks Ruul.” Faj and Fiyj began to heal everyone. Tygruti had a serious gash down his front paw, but Faj fixed it. Cryst turned and saw a stone Rapidash statue behind her. It had a strange marking on its stone throat. A pendant lay at its feet. Cryst, puzzled, picked it up. It had a tear-shaped pale-lavender diamond in the middle. Five gold triangles hung on either side. They were flat at the top and kind of thin, a bit bell-shaped. The charms hung on a string of woven gold. Cryst fastened the pendant around her throat. A Lugia suddenly swooped into view. It skidded on the ground, panting.
“Shrvnevili!” Cryst swore. The Lugia began talking in the ancient language.
“Uh, Pokemon language please,” Cryst said. This frustrated the Lugia.
“F-iiiiine,” it said. “Bring-on treazure an noot.”
“Noot?” Faj said quizzically.
“Nnnnnn-ooote,” the Lugia said.
“Oh, note!” Fiyj said. Cryst grabbed the note. It read:

Dear Liam,
Here is Lugia with the treasures you needed. She’s coming with you on your journey. Gliscor and Zapdos will be there in a week. Good luck! Take care of the Newling.

Sincerely,
Astrza

“Liam, note,” Cryst called. Just then, a form crashed through the treetops, landing right in front of Cryst. The young Celebi struggled to her feet, but staggered under the burden of the treasure she carried; an orb, a ring, a scarf, and a juicy red apple.
“Shrgnebili!” Celebi cursed.
“It’s shrvnevili, as I told you a million times,” a voice sighed. A Zapdos landed nearby, also laden with treasure. A heart-shaped pink note was included. He blushed, dropped the treasure, and handed it to Lugia. He was wearing a royal red fancy top hat, the velvet-satin kind that rich old senior guys wore, and a silk bowtie. The treasure consisted of a ruby-red apple, folded-up teal cloth, a white scarf, an amethyst, a brown ring with a dusty magenta gem, a bottle of 1991 diluted dittany-mead mixture, a seed-shaped seed container, a candy-shaped container filled with a variety of sumptuous candies and sweets, and a brown supply case.
“Thanks, Carrier,” Tyson drawled.
“Excuse me?! You address me as if I am lesser than you?! I have higher rank than you lowly forest brat,” Zapdos snarled.
“Ignore the brat, Zapdos. We’re thankful,” Cryst said quickly, casting a hateful glance at Tyson.
“Anchores awache!” a voice came. It had an odd way of talking. A Gliscor soared down and landed next to Zapdos.
“Anchors aweigh, indeed!” Zapdos chuckled. Gliscor unloaded his treasure; a gray ring with an onyx gem, a slightly grayish green gem, a ruby red apple, a bottle of 1561 cider rum, a teal orb that was polished until it shone, and an amethyst-colored scarf. Gliscor wore a royal blue head sash and a band of gold with a sapphire around his left wrist. One pincer was bandaged.
“What happened there, Gliscor?” Faj asked. She tenderly unwrapped the bandaged pincer and gasped.
It was a bloody stump.


COMMENT!

[Mawile_rocks]

This the first story you ever wrote? It seems that it dosen't... blend. Like the events don't flow together. And maybe you could cut back on description a bit. Though I do like the this part:

She tenderly unwrapped the bandaged pincer and gasped.
It was a bloody stump.

You might also think of longer chaps. I'm not a pro, but wisley to heed my words.

[DarkraiRaider]

Originally Posted by Mawile_rocks

This the first story you ever wrote? It seems that it dosen't... blend. Like the events don't flow together. And maybe you could cut back on description a bit. Though I do like the this part:

You might also think of longer chaps. I'm not a pro, but wisley to heed my words.

Not the first one, but... I don't really think chapters should be much longer than this. Believe me, my fifth grade teacher read one of my extremely long chapters in my first story; told me, 'Cut it shorter, otherwise people lose interest.' And she knows what she's talkin' bout. Any comments on my story itself?

[Mawile_rocks]

I like how you said "Golden ichor", the blood of the greek gods in the first chapter, but I'm afraid most people don't understand that its divine blood.

BTW, I have a new story up! And this one won't fail. Check my latest posts.

[DarkraiRaider]

I will, but can you get some people to read my story? Like, with every request, they recieve my banner? I'll add the code! [*URL=http://img21.imageshack.us/i/orbbanner.png/][IMG]http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/8787/orbbanner.png*[/IMG][/URL] Remove * PLEEEEEASE?