Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1276  
Old 05-03-2010, 10:46 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by UberRaichu View Post
This is a truly epic fic scy, I read the entire thing in maybe 4 days(which was harder than it seems). I await your next amazing update. *sits twiddling his thumbs, waiting for the update*

Oh, and I must say that Redclaw is my favorite character. I love how he's a nice guy(errr...pokemon) yet if you step on his toes, he'll make you regret it. Keep up the good work. ^.^
A new reader? Awesome! =D

Four days? Wow! Glad you liked it so much! I'm about halfway through with the next one, just need to figure out how to write the next part.

Thanks! It's always nice to know what people think of the characters! I'll look forward to hearing what you think of future chapters. Thanks for reading!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1277  
Old 05-13-2010, 03:12 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Okay, new chapter! This isn't a happy one, but hope you enjoy it anyway?


The Path of Destiny
Chapter 47-A New Destination


A few days had passed since Snowcrystal’s encounter with Scytheclaw, and the pokémon found themselves nearing the canyon once again. They had decided to rest early the previous day, but everyone was still tired. Morning had come faster than anyone had anticipated, and as the group of pokémon waited for those who were currently out hunting to return, they talked in low voices about what Snowcrystal had learned.

Snowcrystal herself kept out of their conversations; she had talked about it enough. Instead she simply waited for the hunters to return while trying to drown the sound of the others out. Her crystal amulet had been fixed by Nightshade, who had managed to find some thin but tough plant fibers to replace the broken ones that had held the crystal around her neck before. She wasn’t sure where Nightshade was now; he had flown off to find food for himself and hadn’t yet returned.

As she was contemplating walking away from Wildflame, Spark, and Rosie, who were talking to each other worriedly about the Forbidden Attacks, and finding a quieter spot, she noticed Redclaw heading back from a grove of trees. The arcanine had a taillow in his jaws, but nothing else. Snowcrystal hoped Alex would return with something more, because one taillow wouldn’t be much of a meal for all of the meat-eating pokémon in their group.

Blazefang’s head perked up as Redclaw approached, and he stood up from the clump of dry bushes he’d been resting in. “That’s it?” he scoffed. “That arcanine needs a few hunting lessons, I think.”

“Hey,” Rosie snapped, “he’s the one doing the work. I bet you’re not such a great hunter yourself.”

“I’m a better hunter than he is!” Blazefang growled. “And I’d be able to catch much more if you pokémon would let me!”

Snowcrystal watched Rosie roll her eyes and look away, while Blazefang lay back down with a frustrated grunt. It had been decided by the group that Blazefang would not hunt; everyone was too worried about the risk of him loosing control of his Forbidden Attack. Although Blazefang tried to insist that he wouldn’t, no one believed him after the incident on Articuno’s mountain.

Redclaw trotted up to them wearily, dropping the taillow at their feet, where Wildflame sniffed at it, looking disappointed. “Where should we head now?” Redclaw asked them. “We’re nearing the canyon again, and I know you don’t want to go back through the forest…”

“Or past it,” Rosie added. “That’s where Cyclone and his followers went.”

“We could travel across the canyon and then explore the land on the other side,” Redclaw suggested. “Cyclone’s pokémon headed in that direction…” He turned his head toward the direction of the forest trees on the side of the canyon they were currently on. “So we wouldn’t run into them.”

“I guess it’s as good as any other place,” Rosie muttered. “I just hope it has more prey.”

“You pokémon just have no idea where you’re going,” Blazefang muttered. “You could be heading away from any hope of finding out about the Forbidden Attacks for all you know.”

Snowcrystal inwardly flinched; she knew Blazefang had a point. Right now their only plan was to rely on pure chance. After finding Articuno and learning about Scytheclaw’s power, Snowcrystal’s hopes had been slowly deteriorating as she realized more and more just how daunting their task was, even if there were a lot of pokémon to talk to. She didn’t like the fact that they had had a set destination for their journey-Articuno’s mountain-and now that they had nearly reached the canyon they seemed right back where they started, alone and simply left to wander aimlessly.

“What about the humans?” Spark suddenly said, causing everyone to look at him. Undaunted, he continued. “I mean, the humans know about the legend. Maybe we could go back to…back to the city!”

“Too dangerous,” Rosie replied. “You think any of us, especially Snowcrystal, would be safe wandering around a human city?”

“You have any other idea?” Spark retorted irritably. “At least there we’d have some sort of start; it’s better than wandering around in the wilderness.”

“You just love humans too much,” Rosie growled.

“Well, hi, everyone!” a cheery voice called, putting the argument to a stop. Snowcrystal turned to see Alex standing a few feet away with a couple of goldeen at her feet. Snowcrystal had been so distracted by the others that she hadn’t heard the floatzel approach. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing that concerns you,” Blazefang growled with a glare at the floatzel. “Now do us a favor and quit stalking us!”

“Hey, she brought us food, didn’t she?” Rosie stated. “Which is more than can be said for you,” she added with a grin that earned her a seething look from Blazefang.

“We’re talking about where we’re going to travel after this,” Spark told the floatzel. “But let’s talk about that later! I’m hungry!”

The pokémon agreed to split up what little food they had gathered, and when Thunder reluctantly approached them, Redclaw tore off a chunk of meat for each pokémon, all of whom looked less than pleased with the amount they got. Thunder grabbed hers and walked out of earshot of the others before sitting down to eat. Each of them were eating in silence when Nightshade returned.

Spark, who had finished his meal in a few bites, looked at him and asked, “Nightshade, do you think we should go back to the human’s city? I mean, it’s the one place we know of that might have people…or pokémon, who know more about the Forbidden Attacks.”

Nightshade seemed surprised at the question, but before he had a chance to answer, Rosie spoke up.

“You really think we’d be able to find out anything without some human coming up to us to fight or capture us?” she asked. “We wouldn’t even be able to get close to any useful-”

“But the pokémon could know!” Spark protested. “I could pose as a trainer pokémon on some sort of errand. If I picked up a few pieces of paper from a garbage bin they’d just think I was delivering something for my trainer. A few of you could do that too and we could search different parts of the city, asking the pokémon. I’ve been thinking about this ever since we left the mountain…I think it could work. Unless, you know, you just hate humans too much…”

“That could work,” Redclaw replied. “I’m too big to pass for an errand running pokémon, but I, and those who don’t want to take part, could wait in the forest.”

“So you’re supporting his crazy plan?” Rosie growled.

“It’s not crazy,” Redclaw responded, sounding as if he had to struggle a bit to keep his voice down. “Let’s face it, Blazefang’s right. We really have no idea where we’re going.”

Snowcrystal listened, not sure she wanted to join in the argument. She had to agree with Spark, however. She had seen the painting in the library in the city depicting a human artist’s interpretations of the Forbidden Attacks. They knew something, probably more than most pokémon. And pokémon around them probably knew something more too. But traveling back to Stonedust City seemed so dangerous…but then again, wasn’t wandering around foreign lands dangerous as well? “I…I agree with Spark,” she said hesitantly, aware that a few of the other pokémon were looking at her strangely.

“What about those of us who are looking for homes?” Wildflame asked. “That includes you, Redclaw,” she added, turning to the arcanine.

“I know,” the arcanine replied. “But I don’t see anywhere suitable for me to live out here, and truthfully I’d rather help Snowcrystal than stay in a strange place alone. If we find wild arcanine, however, I will join them. Until then, I’d rather be of some use to someone else rather than simply wander about on my own.”

Wildflame muttered something about him being crazy but said no more. Instead she just looked down at her paws and let the others talk.

“I don’t like it,” Rosie said quietly, shaking her head as if trying to shake off a bad thought. “I really don’t like it…”

“You don’t have to come,” Spark reminded her. “I mean-”

“So you’re just going to leave me here all alone?” Rosie retorted.

“No,” Spark replied. “I just…thought maybe you could go your separate way once we were close to the city.”

Rosie didn’t look satisfied with that answer either. “What was wrong with exploring the wild?” she asked.

Blazefang watched the two arguing pokémon through narrowed eyes. “Pfft…humans,” he muttered. “I’m no one’s errand pokémon.” Beside him, Alex yawned.

“Look, you won’t even have to take a step in the city!” Spark was telling Rosie. “You could wait out in the forest with the others…far enough away so the humans won’t see you!”

Up until then, Nightshade had only been watching and listening silently. “What I think,” he began, and even Spark and Rosie stopped their arguing to listen to him, “is that Spark has the best idea. If all the Forbidden Attacks are as dangerous as Shadowflare is, think of how many pokémon could be hurt by it if we don’t find the answer and tell the legendaries. If this human city has some sort of a clue, I think we should follow it. It’s better than wandering around blindly hoping for information to simply fall on us. Spark’s plan is a good one, and going near the city will be no more dangerous than wandering about around here. I think we should listen to Spark.”

“I know that I will,” Snowcrystal spoke up firmly before anyone else could reply. “I know I won’t be much help once I reach the city, but…I’ll find something I can do. I need to find this information. And someone in that human city might know what we need, or at least have some sort of clue.”

“But…” Rosie began, sounding very dismayed now that she could see she was outnumbered.

“I never thought I’d say this,” Blazefang muttered, “but I agree with the jolteon. I’d rather be following some sort of clue than wandering out in the middle of nowhere. The faster I learn how to get rid of this attack, the better.”

“What about you?” Rosie asked Wildflame, a hopeful look in her eyes.

“Makes no difference to me,” Wildflame muttered. Rosie’s hopeful expression fell.

“I’m sorry, Rosie,” Redclaw told the ninetales, “but this looks like our best chance. I’m sure Spark knows enough about the humans to keep us safe as long as we’re careful. We won’t let anyone be captured.”

Rosie looked down at her paws and did not reply.

“So it’s decided then?” Spark asked. “I know it’s risky, but at least we know what we’re up against, whereas we have no idea what’s out there…” He looked in the direction of the canyon, and Snowcrystal suddenly found herself unwilling to find out what lurked beyond it as well.

“I think it is decided,” Redclaw replied. “We should be safe going back through the canyon, now that Scytheclaw is gone, and there’s plenty of prey there. Prey that we need.”

“Come on, Rosie!” Spark cried. “Foooooooood!”

“I still think it’s a bad idea!” the ninetales stated, ignoring Spark.

“I’m sorry,” Snowcrystal told her. “But my mind is made up. I’m heading back to the city, along with anyone that wants to come. You…you won’t even have to go near the humans, Rosie. It won’t be so bad.”

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice, do I?” she muttered. “Go with you or get left alone…”

Snowcrystal wasn’t sure what to say. Redclaw was already looking toward the canyon, a newfound hope in his eyes. “We won’t put you in danger, Rosie,” he tried to assure her. “But Nightshade’s right…there are lives at stake now that Cyclone is searching for the Forbbiden Attacks. Spark’s idea is more likely to lead us to answers. We should trust him.”

Spark beamed at Redclaw, but Rosie still looked angry. However, it was clear she realized that it had been decided; they were going to travel to the place with the most chance of finding information about the Forbidden Attacks.

“Let’s get going,” Blazefang growled impatiently, walking away from the scraggly bushes he’d been resting by and following Redclaw.

“I’ll come!” Alex announced. “I can help. Maybe the humans know about the ocean too…oh! I bet they do!” She bolted off after Blazefang and Redclaw, overtaking them and turning around to wait for the rest of the group eagerly.

“Thunder, we’re leaving!” Redclaw called back to the scyther.

Thunder looked up at them for a moment, seemed to realize they were starting to travel again, and slowly walked back toward them from where she had been eating, seeming agitated. “We’re going already?” she growled when she reached them.

No one bothered to answer, probably, Snowcrystal thought, because no one could think of anything to say to her that wouldn’t make her mad. They followed Redclaw and Alex in silence, each with their own whirlwinds of thought.

Then Thunder stopped in her tracks. “Why are we going that way?” she asked in a low, threatening voice that didn’t really match her question. “Are we going across the canyon?”

“No,” Spark told her. “We’re going back into it. We’ll climb up the other end by where the cave was and go back the way we came.”

Snowcrystal realized that Thunder didn’t yet know of their plans to return to the human city, since she had been away from the group at the time. “We’ve decided to go back to the human’s city,” she told Thunder. “To find out about the Forbidden Attacks.”

“What?” Thunder replied, suddenly looking more furious than Snowcrystal had seen her in a long time. The other pokémon stopped momentarily to look at her; they could all tell that she obviously hadn’t taken the news well at all. “Go back to where humans live? I’d rather die!”

Snowcrystal opened her mouth to speak, but Redclaw did for her. “You won’t have to take a step inside that city,” he told her. “Just a few of us will. You’ll stay out in the forest with-”

“NO!” Thunder replied fiercely, lifting her scythes and baring her teeth. “I won’t go near it!”

“No one’s asking you to come,” Blazefang muttered. “Go on and run off now if you must.”

Snowcrystal wished Blazefang would keep quiet. Everyone knew, though no one openly admitted, that Thunder relied on them for food; she would starve on her own. Luckily, this time Thunder did not reply, and as the rest of the group turned and continued walking, she trailed behind, still glaring daggers at them.

The group of pokémon carried on until they reached the canyon’s edge. It was there that they decided to stop for another rest. This part of the canyon cliff’s edge was dotted with bushes and foliage which provided them shade from the sun.

“You think one of us should go looking for food down there?” Spark asked, peering down the rocky ledge that led downward into the canyon, where he could see plenty of foliage growing near the stream at the bottom.

“Good idea,” Rosie agreed.

Redclaw sighed. “I suppose so,” he began, standing up. “We won’t have to worry about any hostility now that Scytheclaw’s gone. Who wants to go with me?”

“I will,” Snowcrystal stated as she looked up.

“So will I!” Spark chimed in.

“Anyone else?” Redclaw asked wearily. No one said anything. “All right, come on you two,” Redclaw told Spark and Snowcrystal, who sprung to their paws and followed him. Getting up from her resting place, Thunder began to follow them too.

“And where are you going?” Rosie sneered.

Thunder bared her teeth at the ninetales. “With them!” she yelled with startling ferocity, looking almost as if she wanted to tear Rosie’s head off just for questioning her.

Though the look in Thunder’s eyes made Snowcrystal back away, Rosie seemed unaffected. “Huh, like you could catch anything with those injuries,” the ninetales snorted.

Thunder made no reply, but continued to glare at the fire type. Then she stepped forward and lifted her scythes. Rosie stood without flinching.

“Face it,” she said, “it’s true.”

“Now hold on, Thunder,” Nightshade spoke up as he limped over toward the two angry pokémon. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go wandering off now. You want to get strong again, right? And the best way to let that happen is to rest-”

“I am strong!” Thunder shouted. “Stronger than you are! I don’t want to wait around for food!”

(Continued in next post...)
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-

Last edited by Scytherwolf; 06-20-2010 at 09:30 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #1278  
Old 05-13-2010, 03:15 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Snowcrystal couldn’t understand just what had been making Thunder so agitated the past few days, and especially this morning, but the look on the scyther’s face made her seem like she wanted to attack someone right then and there. It worried her a bit. She had a feeling that Thunder could really care less whether or not Nightshade thought she was weak; she just seemed so furious that other pokémon were questioning or disagreeing with her. She had acted in such a way before, but she had never seemed this angry over such small things.

“If you wait here,” Nightshade told Thunder calmly, “the others will do the work for you. You don’t have to do anything and you can be all by yourself while you wait.”

From her clump of bushes, Rosie snorted. “What are we, her servants?”

“The others are doing this so you can rest,” Nightshade continued. “I am resting too. It does not mean I, or you, is weak, or that we’re telling you this to order you around. We’re not trying to force you, I just-”

“I don’t care,” Thunder spat, “I want to go looking for food instead of waiting around here!”

“Don’t you think it would be better to lie in the shade? Where it’s cool? The others will bring the food-”

“I don’t want to!” Thunder shouted, her voice full of barely concealed menace. Her eyes narrowed and she paced back and forth a few times, her scythes twitching and her eyes on the heracross. “Are you stupid?” she screamed, her voice escalating to a much louder volume. “I just told you I didn’t want to! How many times do I have to tell you? Are you just going to ignore what I say like everyone else?” Thunder’s shouts had become even louder and more furious, and Snowcrystal glanced at Redclaw, wondering if they ought to just leave.

“Thunder, please…” Nightshade began, a tone of worry creeping into his voice that Snowcrystal was not accustomed to. Nightshade never sounded worried, and to hear him sound like that now was somewhat startling. “Just do this one thing for me. I promise I’ll listen to you. Stay here…please?”

Snowcrystal turned her attention to Thunder, waiting to see how the scyther would react. At the moment, she was staring at Nightshade with loathing. Then, with no warning at all, she darted forward, and slashed her scythes across Nightshade’s body.

“Thunder, stop!” Snowcrystal shouted, but before the words had even finished leaving her mouth, Thunder had knocked Nightshade to the ground and stabbed her scythe into his back. Snowcrystal watched in horror as blood flowed down Nightshade’s damaged armored shell and onto the grass. To her relief, Nightshade pulled away from Thunder, and though this caused more blood to flow as the scythe was pulled out, it wasn’t nearly the sort of amount Snowcrystal would have expected; though damaged from the fight with Scytheclaw, Nightshade’s thick shell had prevented Thunder’s blade from going too deep.

But before Nightshade or anyone else could retaliate, Thunder sliced at the heracross again, and Nightshade could only try to block her scythe from hitting his eyes as Thunder tore into any weak spot she could find-namely Nightshade’s wounds-with both scythes.

It was hardly more than a second later when Thunder was roughly pulled off Nightshade by Redclaw, who had sunk his teeth into her back. But the damage had been done. Flinging Thunder to the ground, Redclaw pressed his paw down on the scyther’s back with enough force to keep her from moving enough to do damage with her blades.

“Thunder!” Redclaw shouted, sounding, if possible, even more furious than Thunder’s had been. “What in Ho-oh’s name did you do that for!?” His voice escalated to an enraged wail as he yelled the final words. Thunder just glared at him, no longer trying to move.

The other pokémon had all begun to gather around Nightshade, who lay motionless on the blood soaked earth.

“She’s killed him!” Rosie wailed. “She killed him!”

“Oh no…” Alex whispered, retreating behind a clump of bushes and peering above them with wide eyes as the rest of the pokémon began screaming and talking in a panic.

“He’s not…he can’t be dead, can he?” Spark cried, looking frantic as he rushed to Nightshade’s side.

“I told you she was dangerous!” Blazefang yelled over the frenzied voices of the other pokémon. “I told you!”

“Quiet, everyone!” Wildflame shouted, managing to raise her voice above the noise of the others. Not bothering to wait for them to quiet down, she bent down to sniff at the still heracross. Nightshade’s eye opened and his gaze flicked upward toward her. The houndoom breathed a sigh of relief.

“She killed him!” Rosie was shouting. “He’s not moving!”

“Quiet!” Wildflame shouted. “He’s not dead! But we have to do something. Does anyone know anything about healing?”

“I might…but we don’t have anything my trainer-” Spark began.

“I don’t care!” Wildflame snapped. “Just tell us!”

Snowcrystal stayed standing where she had been, feeling too overwhelmed by what she had just witnessed to move. Thunder was forgotten by even Redclaw as he and several of the other pokémon ran to collect moss and other plants to try and stop the bleeding. She looked at Nightshade, not even sure if he was still conscious.

“I knew something like this would happen!” Blazefang growled as dropped a wad of moss by the others. He seemed to be the only one still focused on Thunder. “There was something wrong with that scyther. Couldn’t you all tell? I told you she wasn’t right in the head! You couldn’t have all been oblivious to that. And now what do we do? We can’t let her follow us anymore!”

Snowcrystal glanced at Rosie, who looked as though she felt the same way Blazefang did. Snowcrystal had to admit that she agreed, but she didn’t want to send Thunder away; she hoped the scyther would leave on her own. But at the moment, Thunder was simply standing there, staring at Nightshade and the others with an almost numb expression, no longer seeming like the furious monster she had been a few moments ago.

Any other thoughts about Thunder were interrupted by the worried voices of her friends. Realizing suddenly that she ought to be doing something rather than standing around watching uselessly, Snowcrystal rushed over to them, peering closer at Nightshade. At the moment, she could not tell how injured he was due to the moss the others had put over the wounds. She wasn’t sure that moss would do much good, but she didn’t feel like it was her place to question Spark and the others who seemed to know what they were doing much more than she did. She looked at Redclaw, who was holding down the moss. “He’ll be all right, won’t he?” she asked.

The arcanine looked at her with an expression that was calmer than she expected. “I think so,” he answered. “He fainted, but I don’t think the wounds are fatal.” Beside him, Spark nodded slowly in agreement.

Upon hearing this, the other pokémon seemed to calm down a bit, and set off to gather more moss. By now, the worst of Nightshade’s wounds didn’t seem to be bleeding nearly as much, and as the pokémon gathering moss returned, they realized that they would not need to gather more and stopped, waiting for Nightshade to awaken, some of them pacing around nervously. Snowcrystal reached forward and nudged Nightshade’s side, but he did not move. “Stop that!” Redclaw told her. She backed away obediently, realizing with guilt that she still had yet to do anything to help.

“I still can’t believe that you pokémon are surprised,” Blazefang spoke in a cold voice. “It was only a matter of time before something like this happened. You saw how that creature acted toward everyone, you saw her threaten to attack members of our group …and what did you do? Nothing.”

“Shut up!” Rosie spat at him. “This has nothing to do with you! And if you want to blame anyone, blame her!” She shot a venomous glance at Thunder.

“Nothing to do with me?” Blazefang scoffed. “That’s the sort of thing you kept telling me before. If you’d listened to me, or at least given me a tiny fraction of respect, you’d know that she was a bad pokémon. You even watched her try to kill me!”

Rosie glared back at him but did not answer. Instead, she turned her glare toward Thunder. “What did you try to kill Nightshade for?” she screamed, standing up to full height and raising her nine tails in a fan shape around her, which made her look much bigger and more threatening than she actually was. “He was only trying to help you, you murderer! You want to attack me too? Come on, I’ve got one bad leg. I should be easy to take down. Come on and try!” Flames flickered out of her mouth as she spat the last words.

Alex rushed over to Rosie, standing at her side and looking warily at Thunder as she spoke. “Rosie! Don’t make any more fighting happen! Blazefang is right. That scyther is dangerous.”

“Dangerous is right,” Wildflame stated, walking up in front of the others. “Thunder…we can’t trust you anymore. I think you should leave now.”

Thunder looked at Wildflame with the same blank expression she had just given Rosie, but didn’t move.

Snowcrystal, who had been watching Rosie and Alex, turned away and walked toward the cliff edge leading to the canyon, feeling that at least for now, the threat of Thunder attacking anyone else had passed. She wished she didn’t have to hear any of this, at least not right now. Despite everything Thunder had done, she found it hard to believe that Stormblade and Nightshade had been wrong, that Thunder really was hopeless, a threat that couldn’t be controlled, numb to any amount of kindness shown her.

Trying to drown out the sound of the others’ shouts at Thunder, Snowcrystal stared down the rock ledge that led along the wall of the canyon. That was where they were going, but somehow the trees and ferns did not look nearly as inviting as they had before Thunder’s attack. Right now, it just seemed like another difficult and exhausting road they would have to travel.

Suddenly, a strange movement caught her eye, and her ears pricked up. Something was moving along the rock ridge leading up to the cliff top. Jumping in surprise, she spun around and looked at the others, who seemed too busy talking or arguing to notice. Looking back toward the rocky path, the thing that had been moving emerged from behind a clump of plants, and Snowcrystal felt her blood run cold.

It was a human. But not just any human; a human she had seen before, and hoped never to see again. She recognized the way he looked from the time she and the others had fought that quilava, Volco, in the town they had rescued Thunder from. Only now, he was a typhlosion, she realized as a second figure emerged behind the human. Frantically, she turned back to the others. “Everyone, stop!” she cried. “A human’s coming this way…Thunder’s master!”

Redclaw looked at her, his expression darkening. “Are you sure?” he asked.

Snowcrystal nodded.

Redclaw stood up and walked over to the cliff edge, taking one look. Immediately he backed up, alarm on his face. “She’s right!” he called. “We have to leave now! Come on!”

“What about Nightshade?” Rosie asked. “How will we bring him with us?”

“We…we can’t,” Redclaw sighed. “We can’t risk moving him that far so fast. Alex…see if you can move him-carefully-over behind those bushes. He might be safe and hidden from view there…”

“Might?” Snowcrystal asked.

“Look,” Redclaw told her, his voice edged with an odd tone of panic, “that human will come close enough to the top of the cliff to notice us any second now. We don’t have time. We have to leave. Right now.” He pawed at the ground anxiously, his eyes wide and afraid.

Snowcrystal looked away from him to watch Alex pull Nightshade behind the bushes. The other pokémon had stopped talking, and just looked at Redclaw with stunned expressions. Only Thunder remained emotionless.

“Well, we can’t just leave him here!” Wildflame exclaimed with a glance at Nightshade.

“Can’t we fight the human?” Spark cried out.

“I…I don’t know!” Rosie cried before anyone else could answer. She was staring at the bushes where Nightshade was, but Snowcrystal could tell that she was panicking about the human.

“Come on!” Redclaw cried desperately. “We have to go now-”

An excited cry broke off Redclaw’s statement, and all the pokémon froze as a large typhlosion clambered over the edge of the cliff, obviously having noticed them quicker than his trainer and having taken a shortcut up the side of the rocks.

Snowcrystal backed away as the slightly winded typhlosion surveyed them all with one cunning eye, not seeming afraid. Snowcrystal noticed that his other eye was closed, a long scar running across it. The typhlosion was grinning, his single eye looking from Thunder to Snowcrystal herself.

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh!” In a split second, Alex had rushed past the others, forming a whirlpool of water around her body as she launched herself at Volco. The aqua jet attack struck the typhlosion in the chest, sending them both flying over the cliff’s edge and into space.

Snowcrystal heard the angry (or in Alex’s case, simply shocked) cries of both pokémon as they vanished over the edge, and the snapping of branches and twigs as they tumbled down. She heard them come to a halt and was waiting for Alex to reappear when the Typhlosion’s trainer appeared on the edge of the path a short ways away and stepped onto the cliff top.

For a moment, both the human and the group of pokémon simply stared at each other in surprise; none of them had expected the human to appear so quickly, and Master certainly hadn’t expected to see so many pokémon in such an odd group.

In the split second that followed, several things happened at once. Redclaw took one look at Master and turned and bolted-faster than Snowcrystal expected even he could run-in the opposite direction. Wildflame launched a flamethrower at Master, who ducked down on the rock ledge, using part of the cliff wall for protection and barely avoiding the blast. Volco reappeared at the top of the cliff, looking ready to fight, and Thunder, who up until this point had been standing unmoving, raced toward her two enemies.

Volco readied himself for an attack as Thunder came nearer, yet to his surprise, she rushed right by him, heading straight for Master instead. Alarmed, Volco got ready to shoot a fire attack in her direction, but there was no need. Before Thunder could ever reach Master, the man had stood up so that he could reach over the cliff, pulled out a pokéball and pointed it at her. She dissolved in a beam of red light and vanished inside before her blades ever touched him.

Shocked, Snowcrystal backed even further away from the human. It was then that she realized that Rosie and Wildflame had fled as well. And not only that, but Master was staring right at her.

Someone shoved against her shoulder. “Go on, run!” That was Spark’s voice. Snowcrystal caught the jolteon’s eye and did as she was told, turning and running after the others. She heard Blazefang mutter something under his breath and sprint after her. As her paws pounded the rough earth, she didn’t dare look back, though her fear for the others as well as herself was mounting. It wasn’t long before she saw a flash of bright yellow fur and realized that Spark had caught up with her. “Where’s Alex?” she asked.

“Behind me!” Spark panted as he ran. “That human had other pokémon with them…you should have seen them! There was no way we were going to…” His voice trailed off and he seemed to be trying to focus his attention on running rather than talking.

Snowcrystal could see Alex running on her other side now, limping slightly but still keeping pace with her and Spark. The human and his pokémon didn’t seem to be following them, but the way Master had looked at her was deeply unsettling. Would he follow them now? What would they do? Could Thunder escape again? And what… All of a sudden she remembered that Nightshade was still back there. Alone. Defenseless. And there was nothing any of them could do but hope that Master and his pokémon would leave him alone or not find him at all.

“Wait…” Alex gasped as she began to slow down. “Stop…”

Snowcrystal slowed down, noticing the otter-like pokémon come to a stop. Spark came to a halt as well, looking almost as tired as she was. Snowcrystal stopped too as Spark glanced back to where they had run from. “He’s not following us,” he stated nervously.

“Not yet,” Snowcrystal muttered worriedly. “He…he looked at me strange. I think he wants to catch me and you of all pokémon would know that humans have a fascination with pokémon that are…different…to them.”

“Who was that guy?” Alex asked in between pants.

“Thunder’s trainer,” Spark answered. “‘Master'. We don’t know his name. I can’t imagine what he’d be doing out here…unless he was trying to catch the rare species of pokémon in that canyon. Or us, if we’d have stayed there longer.”

“You should have attacked the human while I had the typhlosion distracted,” Alex growled. “My old trainer taught me that attacking humans was wrong…but something makes me feel like that guy would have deserved it. You think your heracross friend will be okay?”

“I don’t know…” Snowcrystal whispered. “We can’t exactly go back there, can we?”

“Not yet.” Spark stood up again, casting a worried glance at the now very small looking figures of Master and his pokémon in the distance. “But we’d better find the others. They must have stopped somewhere ahead.”

Snowcrystal didn’t argue as Spark led them onward.

(Continued in next post...)
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-

Last edited by Scytherwolf; 06-20-2010 at 09:36 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #1279  
Old 05-13-2010, 03:20 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

***

The others had stopped further away than Snowcrystal had expected; she imagined that in their weakened and tired state that only sheer terror had driven them on. She wasn’t used to seeing the group split up like that out of fear...even Redclaw had run, when he hadn’t even thought of doing such a thing while they were on Articuno’s mountain. The group was now resting among several large, dry bushes, and when Snowcrystal, Spark and Alex arrived, everyone looked up at them with fearful expressions.

“You’re all right!” Rosie gasped in surprise and relief. “Do you know what to do about Nightshade? What are we going to-”

“We’ll have to wait.” Redclaw’s voice had gained its usual calm, but though there was relief in his eyes at the sight of the three arriving pokémon, he seemed reluctant to bring attention to himself and couldn’t seem to bring himself to look at them. “There’s nothing we can do about Nightshade right now. We’ll have to wait until the human leaves.”

“What did you just run away for?” Spark growled, causing most of the pokémon to look at him in surprise. “Nightshade’s back there; don’t you remember? And all you did was run without even trying, leaving the rest of us to face all those…”

Redclaw’s furious gaze snapped toward Spark. “Did you see what happened to Thunder?” the arcanine roared, resulting in an even greater look of surprise from everyone around him. “Didn’t you see that he still had her poké ball? He may have abandoned me but he must still have the poké ball. I don’t care what any of you think of me for running, but I would rather die than be one of his pokémon again.” He gave Spark a glare that rivaled any evil look Thunder had given any of them. Spark lowered his gaze and slowly backed away, not replying.

No one spoke up again.

Snowcrystal sat by herself for a long time, listening to the howling winds and then watching the sky grow darker as night settled in, half worried about Nightshade and Thunder, and half worried that Thunder’s trainer was coming after them. Though no one taking their duty as lookout saw him anywhere near where they were, it wasn’t enough to put her mind at ease. The way he had looked at her, like she was some sort of rare prize to own rather than a living thing still deeply unnerved her.

***

In the early night, Snowcrystal took her turn as a lookout for the group, hoping that the task would give her something to focus on rather than the events that had taken place that day. She wanted anything else to think about, and she didn’t feel like talking to anybody else. As she gazed out over the land they had just passed through, warily looking for any movement, something caught her eye and made her freeze.

Near the canyon edge, but much closer to them than Snowcrystal thought anyone should have gotten without her noticing, was the shape of a human. Her whole body tensed, and she was about to cry out to the others, when she realized that this human, even if she could only see its outline in the fading light, was very different looking than Thunder’s Master. He wasn’t quite as tall, and he was thinner, and he was standing, barely visible against the dark rocks, and looking down into the canyon. And there was someone beside him, a pokémon.

She hadn’t noticed the pokémon at first; he had been standing in the shadows, but when he moved, Snowcrystal recognized the shape instantly. It was a scizor. Scytheclaw? She wondered. Is that Scytheclaw? She continued to watch the pokémon and human shapes, but they didn’t seem to be moving much. She had no idea what Scytheclaw would be doing around a human, but she wasn’t about to go closer and find out. She wanted to alert the others, but she kept quiet for now. After all, she didn’t want them to panic if there was no real danger; this human was obviously a different one and didn’t seem interested or aware of them at all.

Something moved from behind the human and scizor. It was another pokémon, but Snowcrystal couldn’t quite tell what species it was. The human turned away from the canyon and stepped toward this second pokémon. Suddenly more worried, Snowcrystal turned to look at the others in her group. Seeing that they already looked tense and worried enough, Snowcrystal wasn’t sure she wanted to alert them of the strange human unless it actually did something threatening. She glanced back to where the human was.

It was gone. And so were the pokémon. Blinking in surprise, Snowcrystal studied the canyon edge. There was no way they could have climbed down and out of sight in the second she had taken to glance away; it was as if they had never been there at all. She stared at the spot for quite a while before she finally managed to look away and focus again on watching for Thunder’s trainer. There was no sign of the strange human anywhere else either. Reluctantly, she admitted that she must have been imagining things.

***

In the middle of the night, Redclaw, Alex, and Spark returned with Nightshade, who, thankfully, had not been injured worse since being left near the human. Spark had not spoken to Redclaw since his outburst, but Alex had convinced him to go along and help. Redclaw had not gone back until Alex and Wildflame, who snuck off back to the area they had left Nightshade at, had confirmed that the human was no longer there, and that his scent had led back into the canyon. Snowcrystal still wasn’t convinced that Thunder’s trainer wasn’t following them, or that he hadn’t just gone back into the canyon a while for rest and food for his pokémon. At least they mentioned nothing about any other humans, so the strange human was not around, if it even existed. Seeing Nightshade being carried in carefully on Redclaw’s back, she tried not to dwell on her worries for now when there were more pressing matters to think about at the moment.

Redclaw lay down slowly and Alex and Spark carefully pushed Nightshade off his back and onto the ground. The heracross’s eyes flickered open for a second and then closed again. Though his wounds were no longer bleeding, they looked deep. Snowcrystal then realized why she hadn’t been worried about Thunder much. She couldn’t…not after what she’d done.

Rosie hesitantly approached Nightshade’s still form. “Nightshade? Can you get up?”

“No,” he replied, his eyes opening slowly and his voice sounding much weaker than usual. “Not now. I need to rest.” His eyes closed again.

“Leave him alone,” Wildflame told Rosie, pushing her away slightly. Rosie didn’t protest.

Everyone else just watched in silence until Blazefang spoke. “Well, what are we going to do now? We can’t go back in the canyon if that human is lurking about. And now that Nightshade’s the new Stormblade, how are we going to get to the human’s city anytime soon?”

Snowcrystal glared at Blazefang, angry that he had called Nightshade ‘the new Stormblade’, but he just shrugged at her.

Surprisingly, it was Nightshade who spoke next. He made no effort to push himself upright, and though Snowcrystal was pretty sure he could if he wanted to, she realized he probably knew that it could make his injuries worse. The heracross’s gaze was fixed on Blazefang as he spoke. “My wounds are not as bad as Stormblade’s were,” he rasped. “I just need a few days…then I’ll be able to travel again.”

“And by ‘travel’ you mean ride on Redclaw’s back?” said Blazefang.

“If that’s what it takes.”

“But we don’t have a few days!” Blazefang snarled back. “What if that human comes back? How are we ever going to get to that city if-”

“Blazefang,” Redclaw began, “there’s nothing we can do about that now. After what happened, we all need a rest. We can decide what to do tomorrow, but we won’t be leaving in the morning unless we absolutely have to.”

Blazefang exchanged a glance with Wildflame, but neither dark type said anything.

“What about Thunder?” Alex asked, voicing the question that Snowcrystal assumed had been on everyone’s mind.

“What about her?” Rosie muttered back.

“Aren’t we…going to try and get her back?” Alex looked around the group, confused.

No one said anything.

“You mean, you’re just going to leave her with that trainer?”

“Why not?” Blazefang muttered. “It’s what she deserves. Besides, she wouldn’t put her life or freedom on the line for any of us, so why should we do it for her?”

“You really think she deserves to belong to a trainer like that?” Snowcrystal asked, giving Blazefang a seething look. Sure, she was angry at Thunder too…no, more than angry, but certainly that didn’t mean she deserved to have her trainer put her through any number of horrible things again? “I know that what Thunder did was horrible, but I don’t think anyone deserves that.”

“Naive and innocent as always, huh?” Blazefang replied.

“Look, Snowcrystal, Alex…” Wildflame began, “we can’t try and bring Thunder back. That human’s pokémon are stronger than us, and if they’re anything like Thunder, they can handle a lot more damage from attacks too. Not to mention that he has pokéballs, and if any of us fainted or got badly hurt, we could end up like her.”

Redclaw nodded in agreement. “I’m sorry…but it’s not worth it.”

Not worth it? Snowcrystal thought, after you showed us all how horrible you felt everything about that trainer was? You know more than anyone else how awful that human is! Though she wanted to say these things out loud, she didn’t.

“Thunder had no reason to attack Nightshade,” Redclaw continued as if he could tell what she was thinking. “I hate to say it, but I think her time with Master made her almost as bad as he is.”

A sudden memory surfaced in Snowcrystal’s mind; a cave floor covered in sticky mud, Thunder rushing in to help Stormblade and then her pulling him to safety… She found it hard to believe that Thunder was as bad a pokémon as some of the others thought she was. She may have done many bad things, but there was good in her somewhere. She glanced over at Rosie; after all, the ninetales had seen Thunder rescue Stormblade as well.

Rosie noticed her looking and looked back, catching her gaze and turning to the others. “Wildflame’s right,” she said, and Snowcrystal’s hopes dropped. “It’s too risky, and that human’s pokémon are too strong. Thunder may have been part of our group and followed us around, but can any of you really call her your friend? She was mean, rude, vicious, horrible, and as you all just saw today, downright sadistic. Sorry to anyone who wanted her back, but she’s not worth risking anything for.”

Snowcrystal realized that Rosie probably didn’t even remember the incident at the cave right now, and if she did, she didn’t care. Deep down she knew that Wildflame was right, and that they couldn’t risk confronting that human and his pokémon. She didn’t want her friends to get hurt. But at the same time, the thought of whatever vague horrors Nightshade and Redclaw had hinted to her about Thunder’s past filled her with dread. Thunder had probably been sentenced to a fate worse than death, and none of them could do anything about it.

In the midst of her thoughts she realized that Rosie was still talking. The ninetales’ eyes were still cold and angry. “…and as far as I’m concerned,” she said calmly, “that trainer can do whatever he wants with her.”

Though Snowcrystal wasn’t sure if everyone agreed, no one spoke up to argue.

(To be continued...)


The next chapter will be quite a bit more 'happy' (not for all the characters, however, but most of them). The next chapter is the one I've been wanting to write for a while, so I'll get started on that really soon after I write the next Mind Whisperer chapter. Yay, inspiration!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-

Last edited by Scytherwolf; 06-20-2010 at 09:38 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #1280  
Old 05-14-2010, 10:29 PM
Charmander009's Avatar
Charmander009 Offline
WFL Official
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Celestia Region
Posts: 3,006
Send a message via AIM to Charmander009
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Whoa... that was uber depressing. D: I think I'm still trying to take in this chapter. I know Thunder's so messed up, but I feel so sorry for her. I don't think that she deserves that at all. Why? Why did she have to get caught? ...I'm going to go cry... ;^;

Still, what a chapter! It was so tense and charged! Really drew me in! But I really wonder who that strang human was? Hmm...

Well, back to the city, eh? I think that's a good path for them to take. Lead on Spark! :D Afterall, humans are better at preserving history. I bet they'll find some human/human's Pokemon somewhere that can help them... but the then there's that darn language barrier. *sighs* They need a translator or telepath or something.

But wow! Can't wait to see how everything unfolds! :D (and double yay for inspiriation.) I don't think I spotted any typos, so that's great. ^^
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #1281  
Old 05-15-2010, 12:46 PM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Yeah, I knew this chapter would be kind of depressing, but the next one won't be so much. I agree with you that she didn't deserve that, and that one mistake will cost her dearly.

I'm glad that it drew you in though! I was kind of wondering if it was too long for what happened in it, so I'm glad it was all right.

Yep! Finding information will be tricky, of course, but it's their best hope.

Thanks! (Yay, no typos!) I'm excited for where the story is going. =)
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1282  
Old 05-16-2010, 07:09 AM
UberRaichu's Avatar
UberRaichu Offline
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 44
Send a message via MSN to UberRaichu
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Whoa, Thunder's gone, I definitely wasn't expecting that. And poor Nightshade, I hope he gets better. Overall, it's a great chapter. You're great at keeping me(and probably everyone else) on my toes. When I read a new chapter, I never know what to expect. Great job! ^.^
__________________

Hatches @38
Scizor @143
Mastered @323

Sorry, I'm boring, no more sig for you yet.
Reply With Quote
  #1283  
Old 05-16-2010, 09:48 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Thanks! That's good to know; I like surprising people with my stories. Thank you for reading!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1284  
Old 05-19-2010, 02:22 AM
Grassy_Aggron's Avatar
Grassy_Aggron Offline
Nutjob Personified
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I...I don't know! WHERE DO I LIVE?!
Posts: 8,809
Send a message via AIM to Grassy_Aggron
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Geez man. And I thought Skye went loco XD

I feel bad for Thunder; she doesn't deserve that fate. And I don't blame Redclaw - he was wise to run.

Dang. Snowcrystal has two people now hunting her...Yikes.



Yay Stonedust City! XP I'm sure they'll find more information... <3
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #1285  
Old 05-19-2010, 01:00 PM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Yeah, Thunder sort of lost it!

Redclaw's lucky he ran; he could have ended up just like Thunder (who is now back where she started).

Yup. Not good at all...

Stonedust City! It's been a while since I've written about that place. XD

Thanks for reading!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1286  
Old 06-20-2010, 07:21 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

SCYTHERWOLF HAS GIVEN ME SPECIFIC PERMISSION TO COMMENT EVEN THOUGH THE LAST POST WAS MADE MORE THAN A MONTH AGO (by a day xDD), SO NOBODY CAN HAVE A GO AT ME YAAAAY~

OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY UP TO DATE~

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
because one taillow wouldn’t be much of a meal for all of the meat-eating pokémon here.
By saying "here", it makes it feel like the story's being written from first-person; getting rid of it would be better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“What about those of us who are looking for homes?” Wildflame asked, “that includes you, Redclaw,” she added, turning to the arcanine.
Because it's a new sentence, the 't' in 'that' should be a capital. =)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“Come on, Rosie!” Spark cried. “Foooooooood!”
THIS SENTENCE IS WRONG Nah, haha, I just thought it was a funny image! xDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
They followed Redclaw and Alex in silence, each with their own whirlwinds of thought.
I really like this sentence! 8D The whirlwinds of thought is a really good metaphor. ^^

SECOND POST

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“He’s not…he can’t be dead, is he?”
That doesn't make sense. xD It should be "he can't be dead, can he?" OR "he can't be dead. Is he?"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Not bothering to wait for them to quit down, she bent down to sniff at the still heracross.
xD Should be 'quiet'. :D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“There was something wrong with that scyther, couldn’t you all tell!
Ooh, Scy. Two typos in one! That comma should be a period because you're starting a new sentence afterward, and "couldn't you all tell" is a question, so there should be a question mark in there too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
she screamed, standing up to full height and raising her nine tails in a fan shape around her, which made her look much bigger and more threatening than she actually was.
It kinda sounds funny...that she was trying to be more threatening than "she actually was". xDD Reminds me of a cub trying to act tough!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Only now, she could see as a second figure emerged behind the human, he was a typhlosion.
You're slackin' off with the use of commas instead of full stops/semi-colons. xDD The comma should be a semi-colon or a period, or it should be "...second figure emerged behind the human, a typhlosion" instead.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“Thunder’s trainer,” Spark answered. “‘Master.’
Since you're quoting 'master' and not the period included, put the period outside the quotation marks. Because you quote, and then you end the sentence. :3

THIRD POST

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“Nightshade’s back there, don’t you remember?
The comma should be a semi-colon because it's two sentences in one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
“Didn’t you see that he still had her pokéball? He may have abandoned me but he must still have the pokéball.
'Poke ball' is two words. Remember that! Otherwise it's like saying... I have a blueball. o:

Woah! I think that's the most amount of typos you've ever had in one chapter! xD

Anyway...I still can't believe I'm up to date now. xD But wow...I know why I didn't read this in one sitting--well, one, because I didn't want it to end (for now I mean xD), and two, I wasn't up to where I was drawn in and unable to stop reading. xDD But wow...I was so angry at Thunder when she did that, and I wanted to try to break it up myself (although I'd have gotten dismembered) and I really expected someone to jump in and stop her before she could hack at Nightshade like she did... I guess they were all too shocked! And truthfully I would have thought Nightshade could overpower her, since he did so to Scytheclaw (although I think it's safe to say that Thunder's more powerful than Scytheclaw is), but instead he was badly injured... =( I feel so bad for the poor heracross! I just wanna hug him. Dx

I didn't expect the group to gang up on Thunder and want to kick her out, even though it does make perfect sense. I wanted them to, but at the same time I didn't... I mean, I think I did because I wanted her to know how much the pokemon care for each other, and also because I hoped it would make her feel guilty (if possible) so she would smarten up and realise what she did was wrong and extremely damaging. If she could.

BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WAS CAPTURED BY MASTER!!!!!one!1!! Seriously though. =( I still really like Thunder, although she can be a bit psycho, but she definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like one of Master's pokemon again. I can't even believe she was caught... SHE'S SO IGNORANT! Did the thought of Master still having her poke ball not cross her mind? Dx Aww, Thunder... Geez, girl. She's gonna pay for that mistake, big time. >.< I'm so angry... STUPID MASTER! And Volco! Such despicable characters! I can't imagine what he's gonna do to Thunder now she's back... She'll be heartbroken, and I bet maybe try to even...kill herself. O_o Well, probably not, but judging by what Redclaw said about how he preferred to be dead than Master's pokemon...I wouldn't put it past her. >.>

But I know there's good in her too! SNOWCRYSTAL, YOU'RE NOT ALONE! And I know she's only how she is because of Master... How depressing... When you said the next chapter is gonna be 'happy', I really hope it's happy enough to make up for what happened! Or at least, enough to lift my moods. Dx And Stormblade... He wasn't in the recent chapter, so I wonder how he's doing!

And you know what? I really want Spark to run into Justin again--I mean, he's so close but doesn't know it, like when Katie captured Stormblade and the others were only a little ways up ahead. And a few other times, too! it annoys me that he narrowly misses Justin all the time... OH, THE DRAMATIC IRONY! Dx

By the way, excellent chapter. xDDD You wrote the drama awesomely and I think the characters reacted to everything - from the course decision to Master showing up - really well and appropriately. I love that Rosie was so livid after Thunder's attack and egged her on to attack her, and that Snowcrystal seemed lost, confused, and distant from the others throughout the chapter (or after Thunder's attack). But when she was thinking about how Thunder rescued Stormblade and how she didn't deserve what she got, I really wanted her to actually say it out loud! Dx

Anyway, I'm excited for the next chapter. 0v0 But at the same time, I don't wanna read it because of Thunder's torture!

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-20-2010 at 07:25 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #1287  
Old 06-20-2010, 09:00 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M FINALLY UP TO DATE~
ME NEITHER! I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE YOUR REPLIES ARE AWESOME!

Quote:

By saying "here", it makes it feel like the story's being written from first-person; getting rid of it would be better.
Yeah, I always forget that. XD I'm gonna fix all the typos after I finish this reply!

Quote:
Because it's a new sentence, the 't' in 'that' should be a capital. =)
Agogaoieoavnvkl. I'm so confused! D: I used to write it uppercase like that but then someone who reviewed my story told me it was wrong and I should do lowercase. x_x I guess I'll go back to upper case then. xD

Quote:
THIS SENTENCE IS WRONG Nah, haha, I just thought it was a funny image! xDD
SPARK YOUR STATEMENT IS WRONG! XDDD Glad you liked it!


Quote:
I really like this sentence! 8D The whirlwinds of thought is a really good metaphor. ^^
Thanks! I'm usually horrible at metaphors! So that's good. XD

Quote:
SECOND POST



That doesn't make sense. xD It should be "he can't be dead, can he?" OR "he can't be dead. Is he?"
Oh, stupid sentences. XD


Quote:
xD Should be 'quiet'. :D
For some reason that made me imagine Snap calling for help and Bob telling him to 'QUIT DOWN!'


Quote:
Ooh, Scy. Two typos in one! That comma should be a period because you're starting a new sentence afterward, and "couldn't you all tell" is a question, so there should be a question mark in there too.
I thought "double typos" which for some reason led me to think of "double trouble" which led me to think of Team Rocket, which led me to think of B.P. o.o


Quote:
It kinda sounds funny...that she was trying to be more threatening than "she actually was". xDD Reminds me of a cub trying to act tough!
Haha, yeah. XD Rosie barely knows any fire attacks (she evolved too early..silly girl! Even though it wasn't her fault...but she still wanted to!) so she's not all that threatening. xD But she sure thinks she is!

Quote:

You're slackin' off with the use of commas instead of full stops/semi-colons. xDD The comma should be a semi-colon or a period, or it should be "...second figure emerged behind the human, a typhlosion" instead.
;0;


Quote:
Since you're quoting 'master' and not the period included, put the period outside the quotation marks. Because you quote, and then you end the sentence. :3
XD That's one of things I always forget! Like looser loser!

Quote:
THIRD POST



The comma should be a semi-colon because it's two sentences in one.
Curses. Foiled again! D:<


Quote:
'Poke ball' is two words. Remember that! Otherwise it's like saying... I have a blueball. o:
That's another one of those "I always forget" things! .0.

Quote:
Woah! I think that's the most amount of typos you've ever had in one chapter! xD
I TOLD YOU YOURS HAD LESS! XD

Quote:
Anyway...I still can't believe I'm up to date now. xD But wow...I know why I didn't read this in one sitting--well, one, because I didn't want it to end (for now I mean xD), and two, I wasn't up to where I was drawn in and unable to stop reading. xDD But wow...I was so angry at Thunder when she did that, and I wanted to try to break it up myself (although I'd have gotten dismembered) and I really expected someone to jump in and stop her before she could hack at Nightshade like she did... I guess they were all too shocked! And truthfully I would have thought Nightshade could overpower her, since he did so to Scytheclaw (although I think it's safe to say that Thunder's more powerful than Scytheclaw is), but instead he was badly injured... =( I feel so bad for the poor heracross! I just wanna hug him. Dx
I know, me neither! But I'm so glad! =D Well, there will be a new chapter soonish so it wouldn't have ended for long. XD Yeah, Thunder just snapped (haha, "snapped"). *had a sudden image of you slow-motion jumping in front of Thunder* xDDD Well, I know I did really badly at describing that part, because I pictured the Thunder stabbing Nightshade/Nightshade fighting her off/Thunder going crazy and attacking him part to be no longer than a few seconds (as Thunder is a scyther, I can see her moving really fast). Redclaw tried, but he was a bit late. If Nightshade hadn't been taken by surprise, he might have been able to overpower her, but as he was injured (and not used to dealing with injuries), and caught by surprise he didn't have much time...but the real reason that I see was that, honestly, he really didn't want to hurt Thunder and didn't have time to think. I know! Me too! ;-; He was just trying to help!
Quote:
I didn't expect the group to gang up on Thunder and want to kick her out, even though it does make perfect sense. I wanted them to, but at the same time I didn't... I mean, I think I did because I wanted her to know how much the pokemon care for each other, and also because I hoped it would make her feel guilty (if possible) so she would smarten up and realise what she did was wrong and extremely damaging. If she could.
Yeah...well in the last few chapters she was fighting with Rosie (and some of the others, if I remember right/didn't delete those scenes. *forgetful*), and I know I didn't write this, but I sort of imagined that most of the other characters were really fed up with her and waiting for her to get over whatever problem she was having...then when this happened, it drove them over the edge. (By the way, I really like hearing what you thought about their actions and what you expected!) As for Thunder regretting it, maybe she will, but not at the moment.

Quote:
BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WAS CAPTURED BY MASTER!!!!!one!1!! Seriously though. =( I still really like Thunder, although she can be a bit psycho, but she definitely doesn't deserve to be treated like one of Master's pokemon again. I can't even believe she was caught... SHE'S SO IGNORANT! Did the thought of Master still having her poke ball not cross her mind? Dx Aww, Thunder... Geez, girl. She's gonna pay for that mistake, big time. >.< I'm so angry... STUPID MASTER! And Volco! Such despicable characters! I can't imagine what he's gonna do to Thunder now she's back... She'll be heartbroken, and I bet maybe try to even...kill herself. O_o Well, probably not, but judging by what Redclaw said about how he preferred to be dead than Master's pokemon...I wouldn't put it past her. >.>
Yeah, a lot of people were surprised by that part. I really like Thunder too (still do!), but yeah, she has issues. x_x I definitely agree with you! And nope...after everything that happened she didn't really think, just saw the person she wanted to kill...and tried. Of course she may have not thought he was still carrying the pokeball around after all this time. Yeah...worst mistake any main character in this story ever made (or one of the worst; Blazefang's Shadowflare attacks were pretty bad!) Muahaha (sorry, I'm just glad I got Master and Volco's despicable-ness across the way I wanted it to. XD) Yeah...that won't be pleasant. D: You're right though, Thunder will be heartbroken.

Quote:
But I know there's good in her too! SNOWCRYSTAL, YOU'RE NOT ALONE! And I know she's only how she is because of Master... How depressing... When you said the next chapter is gonna be 'happy', I really hope it's happy enough to make up for what happened! Or at least, enough to lift my moods. Dx And Stormblade... He wasn't in the recent chapter, so I wonder how he's doing!
Yeah, there is good in her! I was worried that after this chapter everyone would think of her as a complete monster. There is a reason she attacked Nightshade (it wasn't a good reason, but it was a reason). I'm sure Snowcrystal would be happy to know she's not alone though! Well, the next chapter has its depressing moments, but it ends better! Maybe not as 'happy' as I originally planned (simply because I pushed some of the events to next chapter). For that same reason, Stormblade won't be in the next chapter either...but you'll see how he's doing soon! I know with this chapter Path of Destiny has become pretty depressing, but it won't stay like that. There's a new ray of hope for the characters coming soon (to DVD and video!)

Quote:
And you know what? I really want Spark to run into Justin again--I mean, he's so close but doesn't know it, like when Katie captured Stormblade and the others were only a little ways up ahead. And a few other times, too! it annoys me that he narrowly misses Justin all the time... OH, THE DRAMATIC IRONY! Dx
Haha, it's funny you mentioned that...*says no more*

Quote:
By the way, excellent chapter. xDDD You wrote the drama awesomely and I think the characters reacted to everything - from the course decision to Master showing up - really well and appropriately. I love that Rosie was so livid after Thunder's attack and egged her on to attack her, and that Snowcrystal seemed lost, confused, and distant from the others throughout the chapter (or after Thunder's attack). But when she was thinking about how Thunder rescued Stormblade and how she didn't deserve what she got, I really wanted her to actually say it out loud! Dx
Thank you! I'm glad I did! Yeah, I loved writing Rosie's reactions. Yeah, a lot of people wanted Snowcrystal to say something. Believe me, she wanted to as well! She just couldn't summon up the courage after everything that happened and how everyone was so mad.

Quote:
Anyway, I'm excited for the next chapter. 0v0 But at the same time, I don't wanna read it because of Thunder's torture!

~GS.
Thunder's torture won't be in the next chapter (in fact, I'm not sure I'm even going to have a scene describing it when it's actually happening) but it DOES have the thing I really want to talk to you about! (Of course, there's a lot I want to talk to you about now that you've read this chapter, too. XDDD)

Thanks for the awesome reply! *gets ready to start fixing typos*
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1288  
Old 06-20-2010, 11:20 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
ME NEITHER! I'M SO EXCITED BECAUSE YOUR REPLIES ARE AWESOME!
xDD OH THANKS. I'm happy you like them! 8D Now you know how I feel when you reply. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Agogaoieoavnvkl. I'm so confused! D: I used to write it uppercase like that but then someone who reviewed my story told me it was wrong and I should do lowercase. x_x I guess I'll go back to upper case then. xD
xDDD I thought that was an actual word when I saw it! I was like "Aa..gog...a..." until I realised it was a keyboard spaz. xDD Well you only write it in a lowercase if it's continuing on, like this:

"But that won't work," Dusty urged, "because he's too fat."

But if it was separate (different sentences) it would be:

"But that won't work because he's too fat," Dusty urged. "And too tall."

YOU SEE? And if it's the end of the sentence, you have a period after 'urged'. Only if its one sentence continued do you have a comma and a lowercase.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
SPARK YOUR STATEMENT IS WRONG! XDDD Glad you liked it!
xDDDD Hehe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Thanks! I'm usually horrible at metaphors! So that's good. XD
Really? I didn't pick that up. x)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
For some reason that made me imagine Snap calling for help and Bob telling him to 'QUIT DOWN!'
xDDDDDDDDDDDD When I read this I literally couldn't stop laughing! xDDD And Snap says something again and Bob's like "BE QUIT!!" xDDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I thought "double typos" which for some reason led me to think of "double trouble" which led me to think of Team Rocket, which led me to think of B.P. o.o
XDDDDDDDDDDDDD AND THIS TOO! Oh, inside jokes! (Which reminds me--click on the 'links' link in my sig and then go to 'my Pe2k family' and see what it says for you. xDD)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Haha, yeah. XD Rosie barely knows any fire attacks (she evolved too early..silly girl! Even though it wasn't her fault...but she still wanted to!) so she's not all that threatening. xD But she sure thinks she is!
Oh, that's why! I wondered why she only knew ember, but it makes sense now. xD Yeah. So if she had a fire stone earlier she would have evolved anyway. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
XD That's one of things I always forget! Like looser loser!
xDDDDDDD It's okay. :3

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Curses. Foiled again! D:<
xDDDD CURSES! *shakes fist*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I TOLD YOU YOURS HAD LESS! XD
Yeah, but you barely ever have any typos whatsoever! And this chapter there were a lot more. xDD


Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I know, me neither! But I'm so glad! =D Well, there will be a new chapter soonish so it wouldn't have ended for long. XD Yeah, Thunder just snapped (haha, "snapped"). *had a sudden image of you slow-motion jumping in front of Thunder* xDDD Well, I know I did really badly at describing that part, because I pictured the Thunder stabbing Nightshade/Nightshade fighting her off/Thunder going crazy and attacking him part to be no longer than a few seconds (as Thunder is a scyther, I can see her moving really fast). Redclaw tried, but he was a bit late. If Nightshade hadn't been taken by surprise, he might have been able to overpower her, but as he was injured (and not used to dealing with injuries), and caught by surprise he didn't have much time...but the real reason that I see was that, honestly, he really didn't want to hurt Thunder and didn't have time to think. I know! Me too! ;-; He was just trying to help!
Yeah! 8D Oh yeah... xDD True! Yeah, she did. (xD) Hahaha, "NOOOOOOO" No, you didn't do it badly at all! And that makes sense. xDD I kinda forgot how fast scyther are! I GUESS IT'S FROM BEING TOLD ABOUT PICTURES WITH BIRD POKEMON CARRYING SCYTHER OFF INTO THE DISTANCE and thinking that that were too slow to avoid the talons...which is silly since they're fast. xDD AND HAVE BLADES! >8D Right, yeah... And, of course, heracross would be pretty slow compared to scyther. Yeah, from his fight with Scytheclaw. Dx Yeah, that's true. I guess he didn't want to be as bad as her. Dx Yeah! Aww... D: xDDD I love how you're agreeing, yet you're the author. xD But we've already discussed it's like writing about the events unfolding rather than deciding, so I understand. xDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah...well in the last few chapters she was fighting with Rosie (and some of the others, if I remember right/didn't delete those scenes. *forgetful*), and I know I didn't write this, but I sort of imagined that most of the other characters were really fed up with her and waiting for her to get over whatever problem she was having...then when this happened, it drove them over the edge. (By the way, I really like hearing what you thought about their actions and what you expected!) As for Thunder regretting it, maybe she will, but not at the moment.
Yeah, nah, you didn't cut those scenes out. (And you cut scenes like that out frequently? o: ) Oh, really? xD I didn't really notice... Well, Blazefang and Rosie, yes, but not really the others. Especially Snowcrystal--since a lot of the story is from her point of view which means she would be okay (but unsettled) about it, but we wouldn't know the others' feelings. Yeah, I bet. I mean, I would have done what Rosie did! I hope the word 'murderer' got through to Thunder, because it was powerful when Rosie used it! And in general, but still. xD (xD Aw, well, I like telling you! It's always awesome to hear what your readers think, and it's cool for the readers to hear what the author's response is. ^^) Yeah. I was a little confused about her blank expression. I mean, I know she wouldn't feel remorse or guilty (at the time anyway), and I doubt she would have been angry in response, but just standing there with a blank expression...that's pretty effective. It's like she was surprised at her own actions, but at the same time contemplating what she did and going over the scene while possibly being a bit shocked. Especially since she was finally being kicked out and the others were completely fuming at what she'd done.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah, a lot of people were surprised by that part. I really like Thunder too (still do!), but yeah, she has issues. x_x I definitely agree with you! And nope...after everything that happened she didn't really think, just saw the person she wanted to kill...and tried. Of course she may have not thought he was still carrying the pokeball around after all this time. Yeah...worst mistake any main character in this story ever made (or one of the worst; Blazefang's Shadowflare attacks were pretty bad!) Muahaha (sorry, I'm just glad I got Master and Volco's despicable-ness across the way I wanted it to. XD) Yeah...that won't be pleasant. D: You're right though, Thunder will be heartbroken.
Well I know I sure was. Dx It all happened so quickly--it's like I blinked and everything had happened; Thunder had lunged and been sucked up into a poke ball moments afterwards... D: That was actually quite effective too, because it wasn't all really dramatic and dragged on (which would have been fine too xD); it happened in an instant which made you go O_O "WAIT WHAT?! There must be some kind of mistake!" *rewind* Aww, that makes me so sad! Dx ALL SHE WANTED TO DO WAS KILL HIM...SHEESH. x3 Oh, good point...but still. I'm just angry at her for blinding attacking out of rage, because now I know she's gonna be in strife... So it's me being angry at her for putting herself in danger and making me worried about her. Dx Yeah, she does have issues. =( Yeah, I really think it was. As well as attacking Nightshade. I mean, Thunder could be considered the victim in all this--all she wanted to do was go with them to hunt! Dx And then when someone stops her - which was a mistake because she was in a touchy and aggro mood - and she snapped, slashing at the thing that was preventing her from doing what she wanted. Then she gets hounded by the others and is essentially kicked out, only then to be recaptured by her evil trainer who will only do more damage! Ugh...poor Thunder. What an awful life she's had. =( I really want you to write that--I mean... *shuts up so as not to spoil anything for people who might be looking* WRITE NO SUCH THING! *runs away* *comes back* Well just by hearing the stories of Master and Volco makes me hate them. Dx And, ugh... Every time I see them (read about them xD) I just wanna jump in there and punch them in the face! ...Even though I wouldn't end up too well. But still! Or warn the others to let them get away! Yeah... aw... D:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah, there is good in her! I was worried that after this chapter everyone would think of her as a complete monster. There is a reason she attacked Nightshade (it wasn't a good reason, but it was a reason). I'm sure Snowcrystal would be happy to know she's not alone though! Well, the next chapter has its depressing moments, but it ends better! Maybe not as 'happy' as I originally planned (simply because I pushed some of the events to next chapter). For that same reason, Stormblade won't be in the next chapter either...but you'll see how he's doing soon! I know with this chapter Path of Destiny has become pretty depressing, but it won't stay like that. There's a new ray of hope for the characters coming soon (to DVD and video!)
I can see how you would have thought that, but then again a lot of people understand that what she's been through in the past basically made her do it. She just couldn't control herself--which was what battling for Master was all about! Don't contain your powers--use them to the best of your ability and don't hold back. I really wanna know the reason! Dx Yeah, I bet she'd be happy. xD Aw, yay... =) Oh yeah, you told me that. xD Aw, okay. I hope he's slowly...healing...if he can. Dx Yay for Katie! 8D Well yeah... That's good! (xDDDDDD) I'll be sure to illegally download it buy it when it first comes out! 8D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Haha, it's funny you mentioned that...*says no more*
O__O WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! 0v0 Hehe...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Thank you! I'm glad I did! Yeah, I loved writing Rosie's reactions. Yeah, a lot of people wanted Snowcrystal to say something. Believe me, she wanted to as well! She just couldn't summon up the courage after everything that happened and how everyone was so mad.
No worries. xD I'm glad you did too! xD Yeah, I bet. Well I'm not surprised! Dx Aw, Snow... Yeah, I understand why she didn't, but Dusty would have. xD Blurt it out!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Thunder's torture won't be in the next chapter (in fact, I'm not sure I'm even going to have a scene describing it when it's actually happening) but it DOES have the thing I really want to talk to you about! (Of course, there's a lot I want to talk to you about now that you've read this chapter, too. XDDD)

Thanks for the awesome reply! *gets ready to start fixing typos*
So she does get tortured... I knew she would anyway. D: Oh, okay. xD I'm glad! I don't wanna read about that part. Dx OH YAY. Of course, haha, yeah. x) Well we can talk soon/now on AIM maybe! 8D

No worries! 8D Glad to leave one...finally. xDD

AW DARN. There were other things I wanted to say but I forgot them now. Dx They were about Thunder I'm pretty sure... UGH I'M SO ANNOYED I FORGOT!!! Dx UGH. Okay, I can't remember. Dx WHEN I DO I'LL DEFINITELY WRITE IT DOWN. But I do remember not looking at the page number out of the top page number, then getting to the end of the chapter in the Word doc and thinking '..............What?!??! No more?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-20-2010 at 11:23 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #1289  
Old 06-20-2010, 01:06 PM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


xDD OH THANKS. I'm happy you like them! 8D Now you know how I feel when you reply. xD
I really do! They are almost as awesome as Bathtub is! =D

Quote:
xDDD I thought that was an actual word when I saw it! I was like "Aa..gog...a..." until I realised it was a keyboard spaz. xDD Well you only write it in a lowercase if it's continuing on, like this:

"But that won't work," Dusty urged, "because he's too fat."

But if it was separate (different sentences) it would be:

"But that won't work because he's too fat," Dusty urged. "And too tall."

YOU SEE? And if it's the end of the sentence, you have a period after 'urged'. Only if its one sentence continued do you have a comma and a lowercase.
XDDDD Oh, okay! I get it now! xD

Quote:
xDDDDDDDDDDDD When I read this I literally couldn't stop laughing! xDDD And Snap says something again and Bob's like "BE QUIT!!" xDDD
XDDDDDDDDDDDD "Be quit!!" XDDDD I laughed when I read that too!
Quote:
XDDDDDDDDDDDDD AND THIS TOO! Oh, inside jokes! (Which reminds me--click on the 'links' link in my sig and then go to 'my Pe2k family' and see what it says for you. xDD)
I READ IT! XDDDD "I'm surprised I'm still alive!" Haha, that reminds me...sometime I need to get a link page/edit my signature. xDDDD
Quote:
Oh, that's why! I wondered why she only knew ember, but it makes sense now. xD Yeah. So if she had a fire stone earlier she would have evolved anyway. xD
Yeah, I think someone was discussing Rosie's attacks and stuff with me a long time ago, when I posted the one where she evolved...they were really worried about her lack of attack...ness.
Quote:
Yeah, but you barely ever have any typos whatsoever! And this chapter there were a lot more. xDD
Really? It seems like I have a lot. xD Wonder what was up with this chapter. oO
Quote:
Yeah! 8D Oh yeah... xDD True! Yeah, she did. (xD) Hahaha, "NOOOOOOO" No, you didn't do it badly at all! And that makes sense. xDD I kinda forgot how fast scyther are! I GUESS IT'S FROM BEING TOLD ABOUT PICTURES WITH BIRD POKEMON CARRYING SCYTHER OFF INTO THE DISTANCE and thinking that that were too slow to avoid the talons...which is silly since they're fast. xDD AND HAVE BLADES! >8D Right, yeah... And, of course, heracross would be pretty slow compared to scyther. Yeah, from his fight with Scytheclaw. Dx Yeah, that's true. I guess he didn't want to be as bad as her. Dx Yeah! Aww... D: xDDD I love how you're agreeing, yet you're the author. xD But we've already discussed it's like writing about the events unfolding rather than deciding, so I understand. xDD
XDDDD Thanks! I'm glad it wasn't bad. xD Yeah, they are very fast! YEAH I KNOW! Huh, if that were true, there would be lots of random bird feet littering the forests. Yeah, that's true; compared to an attacking scyther, heracross would be really slow. And he was injured... D: Yeah, that too! Haha, yeah. xD And it's like...I don't necessarily want certain things to happen, but they have to because of the plot or the situation. And I bet Nightshade will let you give him a hug...unlike Thunder. XD

Quote:
Yeah, nah, you didn't cut those scenes out. (And you cut scenes like that out frequently? o: ) Oh, really? xD I didn't really notice... Well, Blazefang and Rosie, yes, but not really the others. Especially Snowcrystal--since a lot of the story is from her point of view which means she would be okay (but unsettled) about it, but we wouldn't know the others' feelings. Yeah, I bet. I mean, I would have done what Rosie did! I hope the word 'murderer' got through to Thunder, because it was powerful when Rosie used it! And in general, but still. xD (xD Aw, well, I like telling you! It's always awesome to hear what your readers think, and it's cool for the readers to hear what the author's response is. ^^) Yeah. I was a little confused about her blank expression. I mean, I know she wouldn't feel remorse or guilty (at the time anyway), and I doubt she would have been angry in response, but just standing there with a blank expression...that's pretty effective. It's like she was surprised at her own actions, but at the same time contemplating what she did and going over the scene while possibly being a bit shocked. Especially since she was finally being kicked out and the others were completely fuming at what she'd done.
I do cut out scenes...how frequently depends on the chapter. xD Some I cut out a LOT (but that isn't too common), others just a bit. Sometimes not at all. XD Yeah, that's how it was supposed to be; from Snowcrystal's point of view a lot of the time. The others were annoyed with Thunder, but Rosie and Blazefang were the only ones who were open about it. Really? I'm glad you thought Rosie's words were powerful! (I love hearing what you think of things like that!) (Yeah, it is! I love hearing reader's/author's responses to things!) You're exactly right with her blank expression thing! She was really surprised at what she herself had done (and a little shocked about everything that happened following that, too).

Quote:
Well I know I sure was. Dx It all happened so quickly--it's like I blinked and everything had happened; Thunder had lunged and been sucked up into a poke ball moments afterwards... D: That was actually quite effective too, because it wasn't all really dramatic and dragged on (which would have been fine too xD); it happened in an instant which made you go O_O "WAIT WHAT?! There must be some kind of mistake!" *rewind* Aww, that makes me so sad! Dx ALL SHE WANTED TO DO WAS KILL HIM...SHEESH. x3 Oh, good point...but still. I'm just angry at her for blinding attacking out of rage, because now I know she's gonna be in strife... So it's me being angry at her for putting herself in danger and making me worried about her. Dx Yeah, she does have issues. =( Yeah, I really think it was. As well as attacking Nightshade. I mean, Thunder could be considered the victim in all this--all she wanted to do was go with them to hunt! Dx And then when someone stops her - which was a mistake because she was in a touchy and aggro mood - and she snapped, slashing at the thing that was preventing her from doing what she wanted. Then she gets hounded by the others and is essentially kicked out, only then to be recaptured by her evil trainer who will only do more damage! Ugh...poor Thunder. What an awful life she's had. =( I really want you to write that--I mean... *shuts up so as not to spoil anything for people who might be looking* WRITE NO SUCH THING! *runs away* *comes back* Well just by hearing the stories of Master and Volco makes me hate them. Dx And, ugh... Every time I see them (read about them xD) I just wanna jump in there and punch them in the face! ...Even though I wouldn't end up too well. But still! Or warn the others to let them get away! Yeah... aw... D:
Yeah, I wanted it to be a quick/surprise moment! XDDDD I can imagine you watching TPoD on TV and then pausing it at the 'Thunder captured' part and rewinding it. XDD It makes me sad too! D: Haha, "all she wanted to do was kill him!" XD Yeah, I'd be angry at her too! Yeah, Thunder has a lot of problems because of her old trainer and stuff (she's not an 'immediately-get-over-it-when-set-free pokemon xDD), and it's gotten her into trouble...well, a lot of times now. D= Yep, that too... ;0; Yeah, I think in some ways she is sorta the victim (I mean, she did something really bad, but at the same time she wouldn't have done it if she were a normal pokemon or something). I agree, Thunder's had a really rotten life. D= DON'T WORRY, I WON'T WRITE THE THING YOU WERE GOING TO SAY WHICH DOES NOT EXIST! XDDDD When you said you wanted to punch Master and Volco in the face, I imagined them just standing there and you suddenly appearing in front of them and punching their faces in (both at the same time!)...like, literally, denting them. xDDDD

Quote:
I can see how you would have thought that, but then again a lot of people understand that what she's been through in the past basically made her do it. She just couldn't control herself--which was what battling for Master was all about! Don't contain your powers--use them to the best of your ability and don't hold back. I really wanna know the reason! Dx Yeah, I bet she'd be happy. xD Aw, yay... =) Oh yeah, you told me that. xD Aw, okay. I hope he's slowly...healing...if he can. Dx Yay for Katie! 8D Well yeah... That's good! (xDDDDDD) I'll be sure to illegally download it buy it when it first comes out! 8D
Yeah, I was hoping people would understand that. I'm really glad you recognized/noticed that! That's what she's been trained to do her whole life (practically) after all! You will! At some point in the story! She would! Well, Stormblade's normal wounds would be healing, but not the Shadowflare ones, unfortunately. DX Yes, yay! XDDDDD *imagines message on your computer screen* "Now illegally downloading Snowcrystal and friends' ray of hope!"

Quote:
O__O WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! 0v0 Hehe...
YOU HEARD NOTHING!

Quote:
No worries. xD I'm glad you did too! xD Yeah, I bet. Well I'm not surprised! Dx Aw, Snow... Yeah, I understand why she didn't, but Dusty would have. xD Blurt it out!
XDDD I bet Dusty would have! Snowcrystal...not so much. Wonder how Dusty would say it, though!

Quote:
So she does get tortured... I knew she would anyway. D: Oh, okay. xD I'm glad! I don't wanna read about that part. Dx OH YAY. Of course, haha, yeah. x) Well we can talk soon/now on AIM maybe! 8D
Yeah, that was pretty much a given...it was obviously going to happen. D: Yeah, I probably won't have a scene about it, but it'll be brought up later. Aww...I really want to but I can't now (I'm gonna post this reply and type up my review of your SECRET STORY's second chapter then I have to go. DX) WE SHOULD TALK TOMORROW! SO MANY THINGS TO TELL YOU! ABOUT THIS AND CHALKZONE!

Quote:
No worries! 8D Glad to leave one...finally. xDD
XDDD Well now, I don't have to worry about you being late/behind! xDDD I look forward to chapter reviews of new chapters of awesome chapteryness!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *should really end this reply before it turns more stupid* xD

Quote:
AW DARN. There were other things I wanted to say but I forgot them now. Dx They were about Thunder I'm pretty sure... UGH I'M SO ANNOYED I FORGOT!!! Dx UGH. Okay, I can't remember. Dx WHEN I DO I'LL DEFINITELY WRITE IT DOWN. But I do remember not looking at the page number out of the top page number, then getting to the end of the chapter in the Word doc and thinking '..............What?!??! No more?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

~GS.
You forgot? .0. *shakes you by the shoulders however that's possible with scyther blades (and doesn't cut you)* REEMMMEEEEMMMBBEEEEEERRRR! Or at least, remember not to forget to write it down when you do remember! BECAUSE I'M REALLY CURIOUS NOW AND WANT TO KNOW! XDDD Haha, I bet it ended at a really random place!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Reply With Quote
  #1290  
Old 06-20-2010, 01:42 PM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: The Path of Destiny (PG/PG-13)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I really do! They are almost as awesome as Bathtub is! =D

XDDDD Oh, okay! I get it now! xD

XDDDDDDDDDDDD "Be quit!!" XDDDD I laughed when I read that too!

I READ IT! XDDDD "I'm surprised I'm still alive!" Haha, that reminds me...sometime I need to get a link page/edit my signature. xDDDD

Yeah, I think someone was discussing Rosie's attacks and stuff with me a long time ago, when I posted the one where she evolved...they were really worried about her lack of attack...ness.

Really? It seems like I have a lot. xD Wonder what was up with this chapter. oO

XDDDD Thanks! I'm glad it wasn't bad. xD Yeah, they are very fast! YEAH I KNOW! Huh, if that were true, there would be lots of random bird feet littering the forests. Yeah, that's true; compared to an attacking scyther, heracross would be really slow. And he was injured... D: Yeah, that too! Haha, yeah. xD And it's like...I don't necessarily want certain things to happen, but they have to because of the plot or the situation. And I bet Nightshade will let you give him a hug...unlike Thunder. XD
xDDD Nearly! But nothing can be as great at him!!

xDDD Yaaay! 8D

xDDDDDDDDDDDD Me too! xDD Ahh, the hilarity!

XDDDD Yes!! I wanted you to read that bit and laugh. xDDD Yes, yes you do. ^^

Oh, really? haha, that's smart. I kinda forget about all that technical stuff. xDD

xDDD Yeah. Well some of the things I pointed out were funny things or KEWL METAPHORS!

No worries! xD It wasn't bad at all. I just forgot. xDD (THE LITTLE d JUST CAME IN THEN but I erased it.) Yeah! ZOOM! "What was that?" "I DUNNO IT WAS TOO FAST! D8<" xDD O_O THAT would be freaky. You know, go into a forest hoping to catch a caterpie. .... "Oh, I stepped on something... HOLY COW IT'S A BIRD'S FOOT!!!!!!" Dx Yeah. Poor, slow heracross. Dx xD Yeah! I feel the exact same way. xDD WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER! (There are a LOT of CaPiTaLs in this paragraph. xDDD) OH YAY! I can just imagine him nodding and giving me a hug! xDD CUUUTE! Haha, yeah, unlike Thunder. ^^;

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I do cut out scenes...how frequently depends on the chapter. xD Some I cut out a LOT (but that isn't too common), others just a bit. Sometimes not at all. XD Yeah, that's how it was supposed to be; from Snowcrystal's point of view a lot of the time. The others were annoyed with Thunder, but Rosie and Blazefang were the only ones who were open about it. Really? I'm glad you thought Rosie's words were powerful! (I love hearing what you think of things like that!) (Yeah, it is! I love hearing reader's/author's responses to things!) You're exactly right with her blank expression thing! She was really surprised at what she herself had done (and a little shocked about everything that happened following that, too).
o: I think I've only cut one thing from TtEoaF. xD A while ago back when they were on the ship. Yeah. xDD Oh, okay... o: See, yeah, haha, I've only cut one major-ish thing. Others are just words I cut, not scenes. xDD Yeah, I figured that since it's her story in a way; she began the journey to seek Articuno and the others just tagged along. x) Yeah, because they're the more...outspoken ones. xDD Especially Blazefang. "She's dangerous!" "Leave her behind!" "Stop following us!" xDx Yeah! I did, I really did... It stuck with me and seemed really dramatic. ^^ I could imagine how furious she was, especially since she'd bee mad at Thunder recently too. (xDD I like telling them to you!) (Yeah, me too! ^v^) Hehe, yeah, I bet. I'm glad my guess was somewhat accurate. xDD But I think I know how she feels... o: NOT THAT I'VE...hacked at anyone before. DDx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah, I wanted it to be a quick/surprise moment! XDDDD I can imagine you watching TPoD on TV and then pausing it at the 'Thunder captured' part and rewinding it. XDD It makes me sad too! D: Haha, "all she wanted to do was kill him!" XD Yeah, I'd be angry at her too! Yeah, Thunder has a lot of problems because of her old trainer and stuff (she's not an 'immediately-get-over-it-when-set-free pokemon xDD), and it's gotten her into trouble...well, a lot of times now. D= Yep, that too... ;0; Yeah, I think in some ways she is sorta the victim (I mean, she did something really bad, but at the same time she wouldn't have done it if she were a normal pokemon or something). I agree, Thunder's had a really rotten life. D= DON'T WORRY, I WON'T WRITE THE THING YOU WERE GOING TO SAY WHICH DOES NOT EXIST! XDDDD When you said you wanted to punch Master and Volco in the face, I imagined them just standing there and you suddenly appearing in front of them and punching their faces in (both at the same time!)...like, literally, denting them. xDDDD
Well, wow, it really worked! xDD Yeah!! xDDD Well I nearly did do that! Yeah... :( xDDD Yeah, haha, well it's true. x) Exactly...which is now her current trainer. Dx (xDDD And I'm glad! Otherwise it'd make no sense! I mean, I'm still haunted by the time my big brother stole my cookie when I was little... I CRY ABOUT IT EVERY DAY. T^T [xDDD Joking; that never happened. xD] And it really adds to the plot and complications as well as the Thunder herself.) Yeah, it sure has. =( I never actually thought she'd go that far to attack someone in the group. At the same time though, its not so shocking because I know she would do that, but usually it's just a threat and they just get a little annoyed. But she really...really stuffed up this time. This mistake has cost her so much already... ;0; Yes. ;0; Yeah, I get what you mean. I think that too. She is but she isn't. Yeah... o: OH GOOD I'M RELIEVED... (Well I want you to, but I dun wanna spoil anything here. xD I gotta tell you something little about it the next time we talk on AIM!) xD xDDDDDDDDDDD Hahahaha, I could so imagine that. xDDD And them both just standing there afterwards like: T-T xDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah, I was hoping people would understand that. I'm really glad you recognized/noticed that! That's what she's been trained to do her whole life (practically) after all! You will! At some point in the story! She would! Well, Stormblade's normal wounds would be healing, but not the Shadowflare ones, unfortunately. DX Yes, yay! XDDDDD *imagines message on your computer screen* "Now illegally downloading Snowcrystal and friends' ray of hope!"

Well I'm pretty sure they did, so that's good. ^^ I DID YAY FOR ME DO I GET A COOKIEPLZ? WAIT DON'T! MY BROTHER WILL STEAL IT OFF ME! MY COOKIE. *strokes cookie* Okay...I'll stop now. xDD Yeah! Yeah... =( Yeah, that's what I thought. ;3 SO THEY DON'T HEAL?!?! Or you mean not yet if they do... o: xDDDD XDDDD YES!!! xDDD *spreads the word about the new thing up for downloading*

YOU HEARD NOTHING!

XDDD I bet Dusty would have! Snowcrystal...not so much. Wonder how Dusty would say it, though!

Yeah, that was pretty much a given...it was obviously going to happen. D: Yeah, I probably won't have a scene about it, but it'll be brought up later. Aww...I really want to but I can't now (I'm gonna post this reply and type up my review of your SECRET STORY's second chapter then I have to go. DX) WE SHOULD TALK TOMORROW! SO MANY THINGS TO TELL YOU! ABOUT THIS AND CHALKZONE!
o: I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING... *disappears down a hole with the penguins from Madagascar*

Yep. xDD Well on second thought, she may be siding with Rosie... =( Which is a shame. Dx

Mm. I just didn't want it to happen, of course. Dx Okay, good. ^^; I think... Yeah, neither can I. xDDD (Oh, really? Well I'll check your reply to that tomorrow! xDD My SECRET STORY. YES.) INDEED! I AGREE. :D YAY!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
XDDD Well now, I don't have to worry about you being late/behind! xDDD I look forward to chapter reviews of new chapters of awesome chapteryness!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *should really end this reply before it turns more stupid* xD
xDDD That's true! And you won't have to wait for me to catch up before telling me of someone past (Cyclone xD)! Also, can I just say...Cyclone scares me. Dx I'm actually really glad he hasn't shown up lately! But I know he'll make a grand reappearance soon. And here I thought Firedash was gonna be the main bad guy before Cyclone came along! xDDD ALSO I'M GLAD SCYTHECLAW SAID HE DIDN'T SEE BLAZEFANG GO THROUGH AND HE KEPT IT A SECRET FROM THE PIDGEOT... And I'm really curious about his Forbidden Attack! Really curious! I hope he comes back soon. AND WHO WAS THAT MYSTERIOUS HUMAN WITH THE SUPPOSED SCYTHECLAW THAT SNOWCRYSTAL SPOTTED?!?!? I know you're not gonna tell me, but I might have an idea of who it is! Or at least a bit about him. *remembers things*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
You forgot? .0. *shakes you by the shoulders however that's possible with scyther blades (and doesn't cut you)* REEMMMEEEEMMMBBEEEEEERRRR! Or at least, remember not to forget to write it down when you do remember! BECAUSE I'M REALLY CURIOUS NOW AND WANT TO KNOW! XDDD Haha, I bet it ended at a really random place!
xDDD I'm so glad you're trying not to hurt me! xDDDD

OH MY GOODNESS, I REMEMBERED THOSE TWO THINGS I WAS GONNA SAY. And in the shower. Of course. xDD I always think of things in the shower! It's where I do my story planning as well! xDD

1. I was thinking... I couldn't help but think that Volco would have smelled out Nightshade's blood and found the pool of it, which would make it easy to follow his scent to the bushes not very far away. At the same time though, he could have thought it was anything--prey, or even one of the pokemon in the group's (who wasn't Nightshade) blood. And maybe Master would have no need for an injured heracross and Volco knew that. Or maybe there were too many smells in the air and the blood was ultimately overpowering and he couldn't follow it properly. Or maybe it didn't even care! The more I think about it, the more I think it doesn't matter and the more I realise it would be pointless to follow the trail for the number of reasons there are, but still. xD I just wanted to know the actual reason (unless you forgot about it or something). o:

THE SECOND THING!!
2. I found it really sad when everyone said that it wasn't worth going after Thunder... =( As much as I know it's true in a sense, it made me growl and frown but also try not to admit to myself that they were right... I mean, I know Thunder's pretty horrible to everyone else (and it was displayed in this chapter), but if I were her and if I knew my so called "friends" weren't going to risk anything for me, I'd be so...let down. So upset and my heart would just sink. Dx But, of course, Thunder's different and I guess she wouldn't care so much that the gang doesn't care for her much or aren't gonna "put their lives or freedom on the line", as Blazefang put it, to save her. I bet she'd feel bad though since it's Master, and she'd probably be willing to admit anything and accept all the help she could get when it comes to getting away from him, so that makes me sadder... I'm really worried for her. Getting away from Master only to become his slave yet again because of one foolish movement...which also, ironically, would have set her free forever had she succeeded. I guess for not contemplating the consequences, she pays the ultimate price of going back...to square one. =( But I can't imagine! Having been with him for nearly her whole life, only to escape with the help of the very friends who she travelled with and now are not willing to come to her rescue for a second time because of how she treated them... She owes her life to them all, and I'm sure if she really thought about it...she might realise it.

Okay, that's what I wanted to say. xD
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 06-20-2010 at 01:45 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com