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Old 11-22-2008, 11:14 PM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]

Well, I was going to watch twilight, but I watched Bolt instead. =]


This wasn't actually all that bad. Bolt is a movie about a dog that thinks everything going around him is real. Really, he is a super dog in a show. Penny, his owner, plays the girl in the show. After the camera stops rolling, he still thinks it's going on. He thinks he still has powers.

At the beginning, we see Bolt as a puppy before Penny adopts him, this is really kawai! Then of course, he gets lost and meets Mittens, a black alley cat (not to be confused with the evil cat from the show) and Rhino, the hamster in the ball.

The story is good, but I felt as though it could've been more funny, especially Rhino. I did laugh some, sometimes forceully because I WANTED the movie to be funny, but I looked stupid in front of 8 year olds.

One thing I didn't like was Miley voicing Penny. I think the only reason they cast her is because she's famous and this only adds to that. She is a TERRIBLE voice over, does not suit it at all, imo.

All in all, the movie is pretty solid, but a little on the short side. And again, it could've been funnier.

I give Bolt 3 out of 5.


Last edited by Sixto; 11-22-2008 at 11:16 PM.
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Old 12-21-2008, 09:15 AM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]


It's all about Human Trafficking. A 17-yr-old, Kim, and her friend Amanda, go to France, telling their parents they're looking in museums, when they're really following U2. They get kidnapped and Kim's dad, a retired member of the special service, goes after here.

It's full of action and excitement, it's also a bit sad too. You need to watch the movie to understand it. The cast were really good in this, there were also a lot of clever parts. He spoke to someone on the phone, they said 'Good Luck'. He wrote Good Luck on a piece of paper in Albanian, gave it to the Albanians to translate, and he knew it was them.

So, it's a clever, exciting movie. Full of action and jaw-dropping stunts. It's brilliant.

4/5 It would've gotten more if the move itself was longer.


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Old 01-04-2009, 08:24 PM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

I was wanting to see this movie so badly and I finally got a chance to and let me say it blew me away. The movie starts out in the early 1900's where a child is born with a old and mangled body as of a 80 year old man. The mother of the child died during birth and once the husband saw his son he was so frightened by it he left it at an old house where elderly people stayed. The movie then shows us the life of Benjamin Button all the friends he met during his lifetime and the love he found.

I think if anyone enjoys movies they would like this film. The CGI is fantastic since you can clearly tell it's Brad Pitt behind the old wrinkled face of Benjamin. Pitt puts on a performance that shows the emotion he used to bring out this character. The movie is a little long it's 159 minutes and some might think it drags in parts, but that's just to develop the characters more throughly. So I recommend this movie to anyone.

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Old 01-10-2009, 07:12 AM
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Marley & Me

Sad. So sad. So much for happy endings.

The movie is not really like the book. I have to say I enjoyed reading the book more than watching the movie. Don't get me wrong, the movie was not bad at all (my rating will account for that). It's just...when you read a book, (well at least when I do) I picture everything. The setting, characters, perfectly in my head, and watching a movie based on a book, you expect it to play out they way you pictured it. I guess I shouldn't have read the book first.

But the book describes Marley so much better.

For those who haven't read the book or seen the movie; Marley is a yellow Lab. Lab's rock. Number 1 breed in America for a reason. I used to own one ;_; They are known for being very obedient...not this one. Marley is mischievous from the get-go. Owners are Jen (Jennifer Anniston; how fitting :p) and John (Owen Wilson) Grogan. They both work for competing newspapers in Florida. The movie basically centers around a family. There's really no plot or point, but it's an enjoyable movie nonetheless. Basically tells the story of a couple raising a family with the "world's worst dog."

Jennifer was great. The scene where Marley dies (Hey, I put "Spoilers" in the thread title) is already tear-jerking enough, but her scenes add to it. Owen was okay. I couldn't stop staring at his nose. :x Eric Dane (McSteamy) comes out too, though I don't remember him in the book. Also, older Patrick (first child), is pretty good. He was convincing.

The movie was long enough, but didn't include a lot of parts in the book. Like John saying he's never had a dog before; lie. In real life and in the book, he had one as a child. In fact, his next book is based on his childhood years. Since his first dog lived for a long time as well, I'm more than sure he'll include a lot of him. The neighbor gets stabbed. Though that happens in the book, the description of Marley's protection in the book was better. The scene was too short.

The ending is the best. I cried for a good 20 minutes. The ending is what pulled it up. Usually movies start off good but don't end good. This one started okay and ended good.

All in all, it was a good movie. I give it a solid 3 out of 5.


Last edited by Sixto; 01-10-2009 at 07:16 AM.
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Old 01-11-2009, 09:15 PM
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The Unborn

Now, being a huge horror fan that I am. I told myself that I would never watch a horror film that was rated PG-13, because they all turn out the same...crap. The situation was that my girlfriend really wanted to see this so she dragged me along for this film. And boy was I right about this movie bombing.

The plot opens up like any other PG-13 horror film, a young girl who happens to find out something is horribly wrong. The thing that happens to her is that while in the uterus of her mother she killed her twin brother by having her umbilical chord wrapped around his throat and thus he seeks revenge on her.

This movie just tries way to hard to be scary. I mean I saw every thing coming, I never once jumped or even flinched at what I saw on screen. I would more likely compare this movie to a comedy film as I would horror, it's laughingly horrible. I mean a movie that has a haunted medicine cabinet? Really? That's supposed to be scary? The climax to this film is the worst part, I mean they throw everything they could possible thing that would be scary in the end. Dogs with upside down heads? Yeah, we got those. Demons? Yeah those to.

I mean I don't know how David S. Goyer who co-wrote The Dark Knight could write something this bad. You would think he would actually know what was good. What I also found funny was that Gary Oldman randomly appears in this movie at the end as a priest and just blows everyone out of the water. He's just such a far superior actor as compared to the young kids in this movie. One plus I will say about this movie is that Casey Beldon looks mighty fine in some underwear!

This movie gets a 1/5 from me. The title of the film is The Unborn and the movie should have stayed that way.

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Old 03-03-2009, 10:16 PM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]

Kendo's Double Feature!

Coraline and...Bee Movie?

Let's start with...Coraline

Before Coraline was a movie, it was a boring, boring, BORING book. It was interesting, but nothing special. I'm surprised I was able to finish it all. Anyways, Tim Burton was looking for another movie to do, and he found this book. Knowing him, he made it into quite a good movie.

The story's about a blue-haired girl named Coraline who follows mice into a door and finds a fantasy world where everything is how she wants it to be, but then she finds out it's actually more like a nightmare and some lady wants to eat her soul. That's a mouthful, right? It's a solid plot, but since I read the book beforehand, I'm not sure what was surprising and what wasn't.

As usual, the animation is splendid, and even better in 3-D. Well, obviously. Now, on to the next paragraph.

Most of the voice actors are good, and they're actually believable, but three characters that really annoy me are the three spirits...ghosts...whatever they are. Later in the movie you'll see ghosts of children whose souls have been eaten by the lady who haunts the house. They're probably voiced by children, but some of their voice acting is Like for example, when Coraline gets a mystical item, one ghost says "Nice job, miss! But there's still one left!" or something. It's so high-pitched, but not excited, which sounds weird to me.

There are some scenes that I feel I must point out. In one of them, two fat ladies perform in front of a whole audience of scotish terriers. Not only that, but they're almost naked and disturbing to watch. It makes me wonder about stuff. In another, a bunch of circus mice dance. Due to the childish nature of this scene, I reccomend that anyone over 13 who has no children should just rent the DVD or Blu-Ray disc when it comes out.

All in all, it's a great movie. Its flaws aren't entirely noticeable, and it's likely you'll orget them soon after the movie gets going. I give this one a 4/5.

Bee Movie

This movie is BAD. Don't believe what everyone tells you. It's a large stain on Jerry Seinfeld's career, and it will NEVER come out. He doesn't have a chance in animated films now.

Some bee named Barry (oh great, hs name starts with a B) falls in love with a woman on the outside world. Then he realizes that people are selling bees' honey for profit. then the whole bee civilization is in uproar, they sue the ENTIRE human race, and then the bees all relax for an endless vacation. Then all plantlife dies out, and everyone eats everyone else for survival.

[censor] bee.

The ending sucks. They fly somewhere in a plane and find a flower CONSTRUCTED OF BEES SAYING "Think! Bee! Think! Bee!" and waving their arms around like IDIOTS!!!!! Why not send out a radio signal and say "Barry, we're over here"? What's wrong with that? Anyways, everybody lives happily ever after. Oh yeah, and there's also some guy who's married to the lady and is angry at the bee for getting so close to her, but that crap doesn't matter. It's not even the least bit exciting, interesting, or anything.

There's some bee stuff that doesn't make sense. First off, why do bees have antennae that double as CELL PHONES? Why do they drive cars? Why is there a machine that FINGERS HONEY OFF THE EDGE OF CONTAINERS!?!? Why are they even bottling their own honey? Why are the males workers when I thought only females went out to work? I just don't understand any of this. It nearly boggles my mind how bees can mimic every single thing people do like this.

The workers are called honey jocks, and I don't know what that's supposed to mean. If they're jocks, shouldn't they be playing sports, not pollenating flowers and getting nectar? And why do they wearprotective suits? It's not like bees get constantly attacked outside, is it?

Seinfeld's voice for Barry just doesn't work. In fact, I don't think his voice will work for just about any cartoon or CGI animated character. It's not cut out for the movies. It's way too high-pitched, and hearing it for so long really irritates me. The other actors are fine, with the exception of that lady's husband. His name doesn't really matter at all. He's just some dude, is all. His tough-but-dim-witted guy voice is very familiar, but it annoys me that I just can't remember who that voice actor was. It just doesn't work for him.

The humor is very, very, very flat. I'm not sure if I chuckled once, let alone laughed. I was too annoyed by the fact that bees are so much cooler than people in the movie, for example. That aside, here's some examples. At one part of the movie, Barry goes to a bee storage area where they're forced to make honey for people. He sees a picture of their queen, who's really some fat guy with a beard, but of course, he's a bee. Then Barry says, "That's not a queen, that's a drag queen!"


Then there's another one where he wants to hit a guy, for whatever reason (I forgot, and that's just how un-memorable this movie is), and then after some questions from his parents on where to hit him (!?) he says, "There's only one place where it really matters..."


I don't think I can go on. All in all, it's just so bad. It might even suck. I give this movie a 1/5.

A very dumb story. Go read it.
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Old 03-08-2009, 09:55 PM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]

Gran Torino

Well, I absolutely loved this film!

Clint Eastwood plays Walt Kolowski, a rather racist and anti-social Korean War veteran living the later years of his life in a crime-ridden suburb of Detroit, where there seems to be more and more Asian people moving in every day.
At the beginning of the film, Walt has just lost his wife to cancer and it is clear to see that both he and his family are not terribly close to one another. However, things in his life soon begin to change when the young son of a large family of Hmong immigrants living next door, Thao, gets involved with a local gang and is caught trying to steal Walt's prized Gran Torino from his garage. Over the course of the film, Walt begins to become even more heavily involved with the family and soon begins to learn that he has more in common with them than he would have liked to believe.

Clint Eastwood plays a fantastic lead role, his character being instantly likeable, despite his old fashioned views and prickly demeanour. His transformation from bad tempered atheist to redeeming neighbourhood hero is what really drives the film and sets it apart from others. The storyline is gripping and unpredicatable, not once did I get bored and when it did eventually end I was longing for more.
Although it is essentially a drama, there are plenty of comedic moments and Walt's interactions with the other characters become a particular highlight. The only small criticism I could give would be that some of the acting of the supporting characters is slightly questionable but then the majority of them had had little to no acting experience so I guess you couldn't really have asked for more. Gran Torino is an enthralling and moving film, with a fantastic climax, which will definitely suprise you.
Clint Eastwood is his classic badass self and the messages which are carried across the screen to us are really ones that we can all learn from. It is without doubt one of the best films I've seen in a long time and so for that reason I'm giving it: 5/5!

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Old 03-09-2009, 01:01 AM
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This movie is based off the graphic novel of the same name. Also Zack Snider of 300 fame directs this movie.

First off this movie is very long, so if you go to see it be prepared to sit for a long time, as the movie is almost 3 hours long. The story takes place in 1985 in a United States of America much different then the U.S.A. of today. A group of superheroes called the watchmen, were a team of different superheroes who became outlawed by a law called the Keene act. The Keene act scares all of the watchmen into giving up being superheroes, expect one of them named Rorschach. The story without trying to give out to much information is about the watchmen going back to being heroes and trying to help save the world.

The acting is pretty good but not great. The cinematography is probably one of the best things about the film in my opinion. I have not read the graphic novel, so I can't compare which of the two is better, but after seeing this movie, I want to read the graphic novel. This movie is rated R and as you watch the movie you can see why. This movie is very violent and bloody, if you were wondering. Also if you were looking for a movie to go see with your girlfriend/boyfriend, this is probably not the movie, unless they like lots of blood, violence, and the occasional naked part/swear word.

In retrospect watchmen is not the best movie of the year, but if you like some of the things I have mentioned about the movie then you should go see it. I liked the movie myself very much and have even become a watchmen fan. I also plan on seeing the movie a few more times before buying the collectors edition on Blu-Ray. I give Watchmen 4.5 pokeballs out of 5.
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:45 PM
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Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Good. Not a five star rate in my opinion, but still very enjoyable. It should be greatly liked by both those who have read the books that this was based off, and by those who have not. It contains a few scenes not put in the book that I was pleasantly surprised by. Nothing drastic, mind you. It still has the important, major scenes in the book and sticks to it rather nicely. The movie follows Harry and his friends through their sixth year at Hogwarts and sees the true ramifications of Voldemort's actions taking place in both the Muggle and the Wizarding world. You find out shocking revelations, dig deep into Voldemort's past and find out much about how Voldemort came to be as he is now.

The graphics in this blew me away though. They were very good, detailed and just awesome. The only other thing I've seen that may be better is the graphics in Transformer 2. And the music? Same as always, I suppose--AKA, nicely done. That acting was superb, but of course, many of the actors/actresses have been doing these roles for years. The only problems I had was that I had trouble following a scene or two in the movies, which cut down on its rating to four Poke'Balls. At one point it seemed to move just a little too fast, but I think that was just me. All in all, a good movie in my personal opinion.

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Old 07-02-2010, 04:58 AM
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Requiem for a Dream

A requiem defines a song that is played for the dead. A death march as you will. Never has the choice of words been so relevant for a movie.

As I walked firmly toward my seat at the lecture hall where the film was being shown, a small annoying infomercial was playing on the screen like a notorious fly on the wall: just close enough to tease your senses, but far enough to be out of reach. The lights close and the ride then began.

The movie began with an infomercial, adding to my annoyance of it all, but then transitioned into "Lux Ćterna" and its powerful, epic, and dark sound, sending the atmosphere into darkness, foreshadowing what was yet to come. This rollercoaster was one heck of a rollercoaster indeed.

While the story documents the descent into madness from summer into fall and winter for each of the main characters, the style was very different. The constant use of montages, especially of the drug-intake shots, began was bothersome nuisance, making me feel as though it was just a useless technique to lengthen the movie. As the world itself spun out of control, those moments became temporary relief from the action. It was, in essence, an incredibly powerful way of causing the audience to empathize at least transiently with the characters, even if it is the mother, who often is the subject of my sympathy. Unfortunately, those moments became short lived.

Those moments contrasted with stretches of scenes where the camera isolated the head of the actor. This unveiled all emotions of the characters and the sense of desolation and isolation that comes crashing down after each action they took to perpetuate their downfall. There was simply nothing the audience or the characters could do to stop it. The film simulated learned helplessness.

The climax of the movie was a 20-minute barrage of incredibly disturbing imagery accompanied by an equally powerful score to follow. There were times when I had winced in subjective pain, as I could vividly remember the smile of one of the characters. The rapid onset of disgust swelled within me, but the movie would not let up; other scenes of equally disgusting scenes simply followed. The ride finally completes itself; the spiral was complete and the final scene played. It was in fact a dream that one of the character had, perhaps forecasting a hope that never was. I was dumbfounded, simply with naught else to say.

Is Requiem for a Dream a recommended movie to watch? Yes, the powerful imagery and the message is manages to deliver was loud, clear, and incredibly unsettling. It deserves every bit of that "unrated" rating.

Last edited by Kenny_C.002; 07-12-2010 at 06:30 PM.
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Old 07-02-2010, 07:41 PM
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Default Re: Movie Reviews [Warning: Possible Spoilers]

The Last Airbender

Show's Plot
Aang, a 12 year old boy (chronologically 112 years old when he breaks free) escaped the rest of the Air Nomads and was caught in a horrible storm on his flying bison, Appa. When things got too bad, they were knocked into the water and almost died until Aang's Avatar State saved them and sealed them in what appeared to be an ice chamber. 100 years passed by and an iceberg was exposed to a sister and brother, Katara and Sokka. They broke the ice that let off a bright ray of light shooting straight upward, catching the attention of the exiled Fire Nation prince and his uncle, Zuko and Iroh. Zuko needs to catch the Avatar and bring him back to his father, Fire Lord Ozai, to regain his honor and place on the throne, but at the same time Aang needs to fulfill his destiny and defeat the Fire Lord before Sozin's Comet arrives (gives Fire Nation unimaginable strength), and master all four elements: Water, Earth, Fire, and Air.

Okay, the movie somewhat gives you a brief overview of the plot and what has occurred, but the skip over basically too much of the first season. And by the looks of the movie, he only filmed the first episode to the season finale only, and ended it the same way the show did. While he tried to stay on track with this, Shyamalan strayed pretty far off the plot and added his own twists and turns to the movie, which made it worse. He avoided Jet, the Kyoshi Warriors, and far more mistakes. His "reasoning" for taking the Kyoshi Warriors out was because "I loved them too much. If I kept them in, the movie would've kept going more and more in their direction and stray off the storyline", like he hasn't already?

Pronunciations are also made differently for Aang, Sokka, Iroh, Avatar. In their brief overview of the plot, he mentioned that the Avatar needed to master the four elements, while the movie only showed (not) enough coverage for him to somewhat "master" Waterbending. The movie ends with Fire Lord Ozai speaking to Zuko's sister, Princess Azula, and asking her if she thinks she is capable of handling the big task of getting the Avatar and making sure he brother doesn't interrupt.

In the show, they gave it more of a dark tone and spice. Fire Lord Ozai's face wasn't shown at all until Season 3, as opposed to the movie where it seems like Shyamalan rushed into it too fast. At the Season Finale of the Water chapter, Fire Lord Ozai is in a dark room lit by fire that's surrounding him, with his back towards the camera and Princess Azula kneeling before him feet away. He says "Iroh is a traitor.. And your brother, Zuko, is a failure... I have a task for you," with a very twisted/villainous smile coming from Azula after she exposes her face to the camera for the close-up.

The way Shyamalan ended his 103 minute film, which I think was too short to cover Season 1, showed that there is/might (be) a sequel to the film that covers Season 2, and then possibly Season 3 to conclude the series. But if the first one was trash, why cover two more seasons? The show is an awesome one, but people that get their first impressions of Avatar through the movie wouldn't even want to see the show, but to the contrary, this might attract people to seeing the show to compare the two. If there is going to be a sequel to The Last Airbender, then please give us a way better director. One that won't skip best parts, lengthen the movie, use better actors, and strengthen the storyline of the movie with more action scenes. And please make Sokka funny, just as he is in the show.

Pic Comparison

Bad Comparisons

Fire Lord Ozai

Uncle Iroh

Prince Zuko

Decent Comparisons



Good Comparisons

Aang (he could've at least been a bit older/taller)

Princess Yue (hot)

He could've done a much better looking cast for the most part. Since he had characters that didn't suit their image as good as we hoped for, they could've at least made up for that by being good/great actors, but Shyamalan disappointed us yet again with that.

Overall Verdict
I urge you to not waste your money seeing this in the theaters. The 3D-effect of the movie was horrible, and also adds on to the amount of money for the tickets as they also give out 3D glasses. Don't be surprised if the most 3D you'll get from the movie are the credits.

Even huge Avatar fans won't find this movie appealing, so it'd be in your best interest to avoid it at all cost. I left immediately after I saw the first black screen at the end, only for it to return to the movie to show Fire Lord Ozai talking to Princess Azula. But even then, after that mini-scene was done (kinda hints a sequel to the movie), I was one of the first gone.

Rating: 1/5
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Last edited by Fierce Deity; 07-02-2010 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 12-20-2010, 07:39 PM
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With my recent return to viewing movies in the theater instead of at home On Demand, I take my first stabs at writing a review. So, here's Black Swan.

Black Swan

Synopsis: Leading lady Nina, portrayed by Natalie Portman, has been made the new face of her ballet company by it's director, Thomas (Vincent Cassel), and has taken on the leading role in Swan Lake. However, between Thomas' advances on her, her drive for perfection, and the twisted friendship and rivalry she forms with fellow dancer Lily (Mila Kunis), the building pressure begins to press at her grip on reality, threatening to expel her from the realm of the sane.

Review: One of the better psychological thrillers I've seen in a while, actually. I've always personally enjoyed the descent into madness, and Black Swan handles it quite well. Portman doesn't really do much for the movie, although as a man I'm obligated to note that the lesbian scene was, in fact, quite hot. The imagery of the movie was excellent though, particularly the effort they made towards setting Nina and Lily as the White and Black Swans, respectively, as well as the Black Swan dance scene. Overall, I give it 4 Pokeballs.

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