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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 12-07-2010, 08:33 PM
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Default >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami] - Chapter 3!


 
 
 


 
 
 
IN THE OLD DAYS- *shot*
--> Back in 2006, when I first joined PE2K and was young and completely innocent with an obsession for Ruby and Sapphire and spriting, there was a member named Kaze Megami (Kaze). She wrote two fictions that I found enthralling: Shadow Mist, and Shadow Sky. Not only were they based on Shadow Pokémon (which I think is a rare thing), but they were excellently written and so engaging (even if Sky was left on the most dreadful cliffhanger and has been left as so for three years, fuuuuuuu-!!).
Now, I accidently stumbled upon them again when I was browsing the forum. Kaze vanished some time ago, and her artwork is now just a collection of dead links, but Shadow Mist and Shadow Sky still remain. It was odd, as I’d just started playing through Pokémon XD: Gale of Darkness for the second time, and was suddenly filled with a desire to do something to show how much Kaze was appreciated. Thus, I have decided to write.
:P
OKAY DON’T RUN AWAY IN HORROR

 
 
I wish to introduce Shadow End, a fanfic based after the events of Colosseum and dedicated entirely to Kaze. Any praise you may have for this, I feel goes rightfully to her.

Please, enjoy, and tear my writing to shreds so I can make it better. Thank you. n_n

 
 
>>Shadow Mist<<
>>Shadow Sky<<
[Kaze Megami].


 
 
---------------------------






information

Quote:
I
TotodileHop24 has agreed generously to make artwork for the beginning of each chapter! :’D I’m uberly excited about this. Whooo!
All traditional artwork (chapter beginnings etc) displayed in this thread, unless otherwise noted, belongs to and was created by TotodileHop24.
All graphic art (icons/sprites etc) displayed in this thread, unless otherwise noted, belongs to and was created by Tombi.
Quote:
II
Speech is in speech marks, thought is in italics. Thought has no speech marks. :P If words or sentences are italic or bolded within speech marks, it means they're said with emphasis or force.

Now, onwards!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




I


The broken tiles were gritty with sand, and there was nothing but wind. It was a monotone sound, soulless, lifeless, and it meandered through the desolate lab with no walls to block its path.

Everything had crumbled.

All around there were dunes of pale yellow, grains dancing in ribbon-like trails across their surfaces. The sky stretched in an endless watercolour globe, tainted only by waves of heat and not a cloud in sight. The desert was hot, and dead.
Snapped wires, tall broken containers with their contents long-evaporated and rusting desks littered the open lab. The ceiling was gone, and everything was scalding to the touch under the steady glare of the sun.

Scattered about, on the floor and on the sand, on desks and drooping in empty windowpanes, were sheets of curled and torn paper. Stamped across them were faded photos of Pokémon and humans, and faint blocks of writing with only a few odd words discernable.

Storage... Tracked... Threat... Successful... Aura... Closed... Heart...

A scuffling sound broke the lazy silence. Near a corner wall of the lab that was still valiantly standing (albeit only half of it being there), a large tile started to move. With a scraping noise it was pushed out from the floor and across the other dirty slabs, leaving a dark hole. Voices sounded from below, along with a faint buzzing.

“Vander- where’s Vander? Vander, I moved the tile-”

“You did it? There’s a way out?”

“Reath? Reath... stay with us, man...”

“Wes, move. I want to check the hole.”

“Right here, Vander. I did it right here.”

There were several thudding noises accompanied by exhaling breaths, as if someone or something was climbing, and then the defiant head of a crimson lizard emerged from the blackness. He looked around rapidly with a serious, focused expression, and then hoisted himself clean out of the hole. His head was proud, thin wisps of smoke rising faintly from his nostrils, and his stance was solid and readied. The brilliant flame on the end of his slender tail danced in the sandy wind.

“How is it?” asked a voice from below, the same voice that had spoken first. The Charmeleon’s clawed fingers flexed slightly.

“Stay there.” His eyebrows arched downwards as he cast his steely gaze around the wrecked lab. Equipment and machines had been abandoned. It was possible to step directly from the desert sand onto the tiled floor on which he now stood. It felt so... open. He didn’t realise... it was all so confusing, he thought, intense concentration seizing his face, before another voice from below his feet.
Everything was just so...

“Vander, man, what’s up there?” Appearing directly below the hole and looking up, squinting in the sun, was an ocean-blue turtle with a red rag tied around his neck. The white plumes of his tail waved agitatedly behind him as he tried to catch sight of the scarlet lizard. Next to him were a stack of wooden boxes that had been arranged into a staircase. The room appeared to be some sort of storage facility with no sign of human inhabitancy, yet large tanks filled with neon liquid filled the dark space with an unearthly, multicoloured glow. Computers with blue screens, acting as if by themselves, covered metal desks that had drawers stuffed with papers. The walls were all covered in the same yellow-and-black tape:

SHADOW POKÉMON SHADOW POKÉMON SHADOW POKÉMON SHADOW POKÉMON SHADOW POKÉMON


“... Nothing,” Vander eventually replied, sounding faintly disgruntled. “It’s all... everything’s just...”

Murmuring voices. The Wartortle disappeared for a few seconds then reappeared, clambering up the stacked boxes and hauling his shelled body up beside his friend. Adjusting his necktie, he looked around, confusion in his eyes. His white ears twitched.

“Man... what the hell happened here?”

There seemed to be more to the question than just a simple query. The blue Pokémon was starting to look severely troubled. Vander began slowly, as if his feet were sticking to the floor, to walk around the mess. Swallowing, the Wartortle cast another look around at his desolate surroundings before calling down to whoever was below.

“Naps, come up here. Get Ancha to stay with Reath,” he added as an afterthought, looking back out at the dunes in the distance.

This seriously isn’t what I expected...

Over in what would’ve been, in the past, another room, Vander’s claws and dark eyes were scanning everything rapidly and attentively. He picked up his pace, exploring each nook and cranny thoroughly, and his heart began to pound. He tried to gather the facts in his head, but he was still so groggy. They all were, despite having been awake for several days.

Awake...

Picking up a sheet of paper from the floor and staring at it blankly, the Charmeleon tried to take hold of his own consciousness. They had awoken in those glowing containers... awoken, with nothing in their hearts or minds or souls, and they had moved, and the containers had beeped and then drained of their gooey liquid... and the... the wires... they had pulled the wires and suckers off of their skin, and they had fallen, drunken-like, onto the cold floor of that... that room... the room filled with papers and computers and tape and containers and desks and equipment and nothing, nothing at all-

The paper crackled forlornly as it was screwed up in a clawed fist. His eyes shut, Vander stood, his tail-flame stretching and blowing all around wildly as the grainy breeze battered at it.

“Vander?”

He opened his eyes and looked around, dropping the ball of paper as he did so. The Wartortle was standing there, gazing at him curiously, and next to him was a buzzing insect of black and yellow, with needles for arms and blurred, translucent wings. Vander nodded at the Beedrill, Naps, and then looked at the blue turtle.

“Wes...”

“What was that?” Wes asked with a nod at the rumpled ball of paper. The Charmeleon sighed and looked away again, his eyes tracing the horizon.

“Nothing, I... can’t read human.”

Silence again... except for the wind. It was still a monotone sound, soulless, lifeless-

“Where are we going to go?” Naps’ voice quavered a little, through the vibrations caused by his frantic wings. Vander cast his eyes down as he started to think again. Something made him want to stay here, in this wreck of a laboratory, to try to find answers- but was there any here? The place was dead. Dead, and sandy. There were no other traces of other Pokémon, or- or just any god damn life at all. There was nothing. Nothing.

His body must have tensed, as Wes approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“C’mon. Let’s get Ancha and Reath and get away from here.”

Fire brewed in the pit of the Charmeleon’s stomach, but then it was gone. He gave a reluctant nod and turned towards the Wartortle; both Pokémon clasped each other’s wrists and gave one, hard shake, trying for smiles, before both making their way back to the anxious bug Pokémon.

Beneath the floor, back in the room, a beige Pokémon was calling out positive words whilst loping with ease up the stack of boxes.

“Come on, Reath... don’t let the other boys get ahead of you,” she purred, looking down at him as she lifted herself easily onto the tiled floor. Her body was long and sleek, her ears round, a scarlet jewel in the centre of her forehead. Her slim tail curled itself around her haunches as she sat, waiting for her comrade to emerge. Several seconds passed, and then a groggy Ivysaur appeared, the flower on his back wilted and sad-looking. The Persian smiled at him encouragingly as he tried to haul himself up, looking weak and disorientated.

“That’s it... a little more...”

With a grunt, the emerald dinosaur hauled himself onto the gritty tiles and laid there, his eyes drifting shut. Padding to him, the Persian gave his forehead a swift lick.

“Well done,” she said, nudging his ear, before her own pricked and she looked up at the other three Pokémon walking to her. Vander was tying a pale green rag around his forehead, his eyes on the floor, and Wes was busy trying to catch the eye of the exhausted Ivysaur.

“Reath, man, you okay?”

“Let him be,” Ancha told him softly, giving the fur on her chest a brief lick before properly taking in her surroundings. Vander quickly read the expression in her eyes and started speaking.

“I don’t know where we are,” he began, and his voice was calm and steady, “but I want to find out what this place is. That probably means moving, and there’s nothing here for us anyway.” His eyes followed Wes as the turtle tied a pale blue rag around Reath’s leg, and continued:
“Obviously something big happened here. We were... in storage. Either that, or...” His eyes flashed faintly. “... We were created.” He avoided their eyes, not wanting to see their reactions, and tightened the rag around his head. “But I don’t believe that. We have memories, somewhere. We have to find them. And we were stored together, we woke up together, we were put together-” He looked at them, with something like ferocity- “And that means we’ll stick together.

Wes nodded firmly, and Ancha got to her paws, hiding her nervousness with a lash of her tail. With shaking limbs, Reath began to get to his feet, and both Pokémon helped him up. Vander gave them a half-smile, his eyes dark.

“So I say... we get moving.”

“Yeah, man!” With a grin, Wes stood by the Chameleon’s side. Ancha purred, her eyes suddenly bright with the prospect of exercise.

“Those in favour of electing Vander as leader?” she teased, as Reath gave a grunt of appreciation.

“I walk, I get my head on straight.”

The fire-tailed lizard nodded in approval and looked out across the desert. Grains of sand stung his eyes, but he blinked them away, his stare fixed on the horizon. The others gathered about him, the sun warming their skin and fur, and then together, as one, they stepped into the sand.









The Beginning....

...

...

...

Command Confirmed. Containment Time Expired.
Container Draining.
Container Draining.
Container Draining.

Beep... beep... beep...


...

Was this... life...?

I could feel... nothing. Looking back, I believe I was numb- practically brain-dead- but back then, I didn’t think that. I couldn’t feel that. I suppose it must’ve been as if my nerves had been cut, like my plug had been pulled. I didn’t feel numb. I didn’t feel brain-dead.
I didn’t feel.

There was no air, at first, along with the blackness. Soon, as if water was beginning to swirl inside my head, I began to regain consciousness. My very eyes throbbed behind their lids. The darkness seemed to move in violent, repeated swirls as a dull ache began to grow, and grow, and grow; like some vile tumour inside my own skull.
My own skull? I...

Container Opening.

My vision was complete blurred. Vaguely, and with faint interest, I became aware of my own body. I was curled slightly, and I seemed to be covered in a sort of thick liquid. My ears, unused to sound, twitched ever so slightly as the whoosh of the door sent stale air over my drenched fur. As my stiff eyelids blinked, I began to notice that I... was floating.

Cleaning Initiated.

Was that... a... human?
I didn’t know... it hurt to think. My body, hypersensitive after its gradual awakening, jolted a little as fine sprays of water jetted from every direction. My fur clung to my frame further as the goo was diluted. With dreamy eyes, I watched it drain away.

Cleaning Complete. Subject Released.

Black wires, attached to my body by suckers, relinquished their grip as gravity seemed to come back into play. With a lurch, and an unfamiliar churn of my stomach, I fell forwards without the power to keep myself up, and fell with a thud onto...

...

The... floor.

Seconds passed, and then minutes. I lay there, without a sense of self or being, my body protesting feebly at the sudden exercise. Again, my eyes opened, but the neon glow of the room was painful to take in. I grunted into the smooth flooring, feeling it scrape away slightly beneath my claws as I pushed myself up a little. Everything was still blurry, but bright. I could see squares of blue, rectangles of purple and green and yellow and pink. They left little trails of light when I moved my head.

It hurt so much.

After a while, I got to my feet. I felt like a member of the undead. Perhaps I was? I thought, as things began to focus. I could see that there were no humans in the room. The voice had been too robotic, anyway. What were those things the humans had? The machines that did things for them? There were several of them, anyway, all with their wicked blue screens staring at me with malicious grins. My skin crawled, and I shivered. My spine beginning to register feeling again, I looked around my prison until my eyes fell upon a door. It was open, so perhaps I wasn’t a prisoner after all. My wet fur tingling with freedom, I began to walk slowly and stiffly towards the exit, ignoring the containers all around me. Occasionally I stopped to stare vaguely at a sheet of paper that had gotten stuck to my foot, but after bending cautiously to remove the offending item, I continued to the doorway, and the stairs beyond.

Think... think... think...
With every step I took, I felt my senses return. I could smell the musty room and how old and abandoned it was. I could feel my fur begin to rise a little as it dried. The staircase was hot, yet shut off at the top. My eyes squinted a little at the lines of golden light that connected to make a square. Was it a trapdoor?
Without really thinking about it, I allowed my arms to stretch up, to push. Before I realised what I was doing, before my eyes had focused, I was surrounded by burning heat. My clawed feet touched tiles.

Oddly, I knew the light and heat was the sun, even though my body ached and whined with sadness, emptiness. I couldn’t remember anything, though I squeezed my spongy brain, trying to claim a piece of myself. Who was I? What was I?

I was dizzy, that’s what I was...

I felt my fur ripple slightly, and looked down at myself as tiny specks of yellow sand buried themselves into me. I was white, with a jagged orange shape on my stomach. I observed my small feet, and then raised my arms, my eyes running lazily over them. They were heavy, half white and half orange, and my claws were sharp and grey as steel. My pointed ears twitched, and for the very first time, I realised I had a tail. Moving it felt strange and I desisted almost immediately- and then felt an overwhelming sense of sorrow. Whatever had happened to me, it had robbed me of myself. Of whoever I had been.

Sadly, I let my eyes raise, and trail across the sand and the desecrated technology. There wasn’t a soul around. I was alone, standing there in the middle of the forlorn building foundations, and felt nothing.

I let my eyes drop.

The wind was a monotone sound, soulless, lifeless...






SHADOW END.
__________________


Last edited by Tombi; 01-02-2011 at 07:53 PM.
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  #2  
Old 12-07-2010, 08:35 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

chapter index

>>Chapter I<<
In which we finally find ourselves awake.


>>Chapter II<<
In which we find a companion, and a few memories.


>>Chapter III<<
In which we climb to our fate.





character profiles, alphabetical
CONTAINS CHARACTER SPOILERS, BUT ONLY NAME AND SPECIES.


Spoiler:

Ancha
An-cah
????


Species:: Persian
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

The motherly figure.



Ardos
Arr-dose
????


Species:: Manectric
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Arton
Arr-ton
????


Species:: Grovyle
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



B
Bee
????


Species:: Quagsire
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Bluno
Bloo-no
????


Species:: Croconaw
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Captain
Capp-tin
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Corporal
Corr-porr-ul
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Crain
Cray-n
????


Species:: Bayleef
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Dakim
Day-kim
????


Species:: Granbull
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Dioge
Dee-oh-gay
????


Species:: Combusken
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Eagun
Ayy-gun
????


Species:: Cacturne
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Ein
Ine
????


Species:: Salamence
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Eldes
Ell-dez
????


Species:: Alakazam
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Evice
Evv-ice
????


Species:: Drapion
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Fein
Fain.
????


Species:: Sneasel
Entry:: Chapter III
Current Status:: Pure

The mysterious stranger.



Feldas
Fell-dass
Team Darkspace


Species:: Monferno
Entry:: Chapter III
Current Status:: Shadow

The quiet, deliberating type.



Ferma
Fur-mah
????


Species:: Absol
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Folly
Foll-ee
????


Species:: Cacnea
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Greevil
Gree-vill
????


Species:: Dusclops
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ???



Gorigan
Goh-ree-gun
Team Darkspace


Species:: Grotle
Entry:: Chapter III
Current Status:: Shadow

The rough juggernaut.



Gonzap
Gonn-zap
????


Species:: Pinsir
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Justy
Juss-tee
????


Species:: Jumpluff
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Jomas
Joh-mass
Team Darkspace


Species:: Prinplup
Entry:: Chapter III
Current Status:: Shadow

The sly, clever one.



Kloak
Cloh-k
????


Species:: Crobat
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Lieutenant
Loo-tenn-ant
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Lorcan
Lor-cun
????


Species:: Zangoose
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

Our sullen hero.



Nascour
Nass-kuh
????


Species:: Marowak
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Naps
Naps
????


Species:: Beedrill
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

The anxious type.



Nett
Net
????


Species:: Smeargle
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Officer
Off-ee-sirr
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Private
Pry-vatt
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Reath
Reeth
????


Species:: Ivysaur
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

The warrior.



Sergeant
Sarr-jent
????


Species:: Stantler
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Skrub
S-crub
????


Species:: Quilava
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Solox
Soll-ocks
????


Species:: Solrock
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Tanie
Tah-nee
????


Species:: Rattata
Entry:: Chapter II
Current Status:: Pure

The naive, sweet type.



Trudly
Trudd-lee
????


Species:: Cacnea
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Vana
Vah-nah
????


Species:: Marshtomp
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????



Vander
Van-duh.
????


Species:: Charmeleon
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

The undisputed leader.



Wes
Wezz
????


Species:: Wartortle
Entry:: Chapter I
Current Status:: Pure

The loyal one.



Zook
Zoo-k
????


Species:: Nidoking
Entry:: ????
Current Status:: ????
__________________


Last edited by Tombi; 01-03-2011 at 08:04 PM.
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  #3  
Old 12-08-2010, 02:30 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

Just because you've said someone else is doing frequent art for this story, it makes me wanna draw art for it as well. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombi View Post
Stamped across them were faded photos of Pokémon and humans, and faint blocks of writing with only a few odd words discernable.
Should be 'discernible'. *gasp* (I actually only know that because of Firefox's spell check. xDDD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombi View Post
He gave a reluctant nod and turned towards the Wartortle; both Pokémon clasped each other’s wrists and gave one, hard shake, trying for smiles, before both making their way back to the anxious bug Pokémon.
'One' isn't an adjective, therefore you don't need a comma after it, since you're stating the number of "hard" shakes. x) If that makes sense. It's like a separate part of the sentence... xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombi View Post
The darkness seemed to move in violent, repeated swirls as a dull ache began to grow, and grow, and grow; like some vile tumour inside my own skull.
You don't need a semicolon here because a semicolon should only be put if the following sentence can stand alone by itself. It has to relate to the previous sentence, of course, which is what you've done, but yeah--it needs to be its own sentence, and therefore replacing this semicolon with a double hyphen or even just an ellipsis... But now that I think about it, it can stand on its own since it's written from first person, but I think in this sentence it would be better as some other form of grammar. o: Even just a comma. I dunno. Might be me thinking too hard about it, since it's hard to find proper errors in this story. xDDD
Also, this is a cool sentence. So cool, in fact, that I'm going to put the smiley with the sunnies right here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tombi View Post
Occasionally I stopped to stare vaguely at a sheet of paper that had gotten stuck to my foot, but after bending cautiously to remove the offending item, I continued to the doorway, and the stairs beyond.
xDDDD "Offending item". That's great. xD I love this whole sentence.

ANYWAY. I think it's really cool you're writing something dedicated to an friend of yours. :D I'd probably read her stories, but it depends how long they are, and how much time I'm going to have. o: They sound interesting, and you have good taste (from what I know, anyway xDD) so I'll trust your judgment and take a look sometime. x) (Did you know, I typed all of that with my eyes closed? xDD Although I put an e in 'judgment'...but I thought it was supposed to be there. xD)

I also love the metaphors, similes and general description you use...to...descript. xD Your vocab is impressive - much better than mine - and I really enjoy your writing. ^^ It's really nice to see the scene written about in a lot of depth, and I especially love the zangoose's (whose colour scheme is interesting and cool o:) interpretations of everything since he/she doesn't know much about the world and isn't familiar with its contents and such. It's really cool to hear what his/her thoughts are. ^^ And I think you've written them really well, so good job there. x) I really love that he/she described the fact of not feeling anything, and I really like that his/her senses are slowly developing and returning, and that they come back one or two at a time. And that nothing about the character's appearance is revealed until the character him/herself sees his/her paw (and the rest of the body) under a light. :D

So yeah, I'm excited to see what this is all about. o: I wonder why that place was abandoned, and what it once was. Clearly a lab of some sort, presumably where they store or create pokemon, which has to have something to do with Shadow pokemon, of course. I'm interested to see how this will all tie in, and it'll be cool to know more about the characters.

I really like that you have an ivysaur, wartortle and charmeleon as three of the (presumably) main characters, and I really like how you've separated them (and Naps and Ancha) from the zangoose. o: And it'll be interesting to see why, of course. ^^ I really wonder what happened to them all! Why they were just left at the lab, and what they were for... And why they wear rags, as well. o: It's cool that they all wear each other's colours. xD And is Reath a bit tired, or really old or something? For some reason I thought he was an elder pokemon or something because he was constantly being helped up and stuff, but it might just be that he's sick or still out of it from being woken up.

Anyway, it's late so I'm in a blabbering mood. xDD I better stop before I start questioning things like our existence. Now that would be a long discussion.

ALSO. I think you'd be perfect for voice acting a character from a new story of mine. o: (Which is up on Pe2k. It's called Howling in the Shadows.) So if I want a scene from there voiced at any time, I'll be sure to ask you! 8D

Looking forward to more! OH! And the other thing I can criticise is the centred text. It annoys me trying to read a story when it's centred... xDD Or quoted. Sheesh, I'm an old bag.

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 12-08-2010 at 02:35 PM.
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  #4  
Old 12-08-2010, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
Just because you've said someone else is doing frequent art for this story, it makes me wanna draw art for it as well. xD
Well if you wanted to, you totally could! xDD I love your artwork, Xanthey, I'd love to see your interpretation of my characters.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
Should be 'discernible'. *gasp* (I actually only know that because of Firefox's spell check. xDDD
Really? ._. BUT WORD TOLD ME IT WAS SPELT RIGHT T______T *smashes Word repeatedly with a large bar of chocolate*
I shall edit. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
'One' isn't an adjective, therefore you don't need a comma after it, since you're stating the number of "hard" shakes. x) If that makes sense. It's like a separate part of the sentence... xD
Ooooh... I see. *nodnod* Okay! Thanks~ :D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
You don't need a semicolon here because a semicolon should only be put if the following sentence can stand alone by itself. It has to relate to the previous sentence, of course, which is what you've done, but yeah--it needs to be its own sentence, and therefore replacing this semicolon with a double hyphen or even just an ellipsis... But now that I think about it, it can stand on its own since it's written from first person, but I think in this sentence it would be better as some other form of grammar. o: Even just a comma. I dunno. Might be me thinking too hard about it, since it's hard to find proper errors in this story. xDDD
Also, this is a cool sentence. So cool, in fact, that I'm going to put the smiley with the sunnies right here.
I was really confused with that part, actually. Word gave me so many green wiggly lines and NOTHING SEEMED TO WORK EXCEPT THE SEMI-COLON ;___; I really wasn't sure... but I'll go back and just change it and ignore it because it lies about stuff like discernible >___>

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xDDDD "Offending item". That's great. xD I love this whole sentence.
xD Good! n_n

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ANYWAY. I think it's really cool you're writing something dedicated to an friend of yours. :D I'd probably read her stories, but it depends how long they are, and how much time I'm going to have. o: They sound interesting, and you have good taste (from what I know, anyway xDD) so I'll trust your judgment and take a look sometime. x) (Did you know, I typed all of that with my eyes closed? xDD Although I put an e in 'judgment'...but I thought it was supposed to be there. xD)
Thank you. :D I wasn't really sure if I should go ahead with it... I mean, I don't want anyone to think I was being weird or anything. ._. But hey. :'D Yeah, when she wrote them she was twelve or thirteen, so the standard they're written at for that age is truly fantastic. They're not THAT long, really- they seemed to be, back when I was twelve- but they're very good and highly entertaining. I believe two of my own characters guest-starred at some point. ♥

xDD I was texting in class without looking yesterday. I was looking very determinedly at the teacher with an almost dangerously-interested expression on my face, and then had to hold in my laughter when I looked down and saw my horrific mistakes.

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I also love the metaphors, similes and general description you use...to...descript. xD Your vocab is impressive - much better than mine - and I really enjoy your writing. ^^ It's really nice to see the scene written about in a lot of depth, and I especially love the zangoose's (whose colour scheme is interesting and cool o:) interpretations of everything since he/she doesn't know much about the world and isn't familiar with its contents and such. It's really cool to hear what his/her thoughts are. ^^ And I think you've written them really well, so good job there. x) I really love that he/she described the fact of not feeling anything, and I really like that his/her senses are slowly developing and returning, and that they come back one or two at a time. And that nothing about the character's appearance is revealed until the character him/herself sees his/her paw (and the rest of the body) under a light. :D
Aw Xanthe, thank you! ;u; I'm glad you like the way I write. I was really stuck with how to make *refrains from putting the name and gender* the Zangoose feel and think, and how to wake h- ... the Zangoose up. xDDD But I got started eventually. This is the first time I've written in first person, actually, and I find it so much easier!

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So yeah, I'm excited to see what this is all about. o: I wonder why that place was abandoned, and what it once was. Clearly a lab of some sort, presumably where they store or create pokemon, which has to have something to do with Shadow pokemon, of course. I'm interested to see how this will all tie in, and it'll be cool to know more about the characters.
You'll find out soon enough! :D Have you ever played the Gamecube games?

One of my errors is my lack of fleshing out my characters, I think, so I hope to work on that during this.

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I really like that you have an ivysaur, wartortle and charmeleon as three of the (presumably) main characters, and I really like how you've separated them (and Naps and Ancha) from the zangoose. o: And it'll be interesting to see why, of course. ^^ I really wonder what happened to them all! Why they were just left at the lab, and what they were for... And why they wear rags, as well. o: It's cool that they all wear each other's colours. xD And is Reath a bit tired, or really old or something? For some reason I thought he was an elder pokemon or something because he was constantly being helped up and stuff, but it might just be that he's sick or still out of it from being woken up.
Haha, I'm planning stuff with the whole second-stage starter-Pokemon thing. :D As for Reath, he isn't older than the others, nor weaker- on the contrary, he may be slightly stronger, which could hint at why he's taking longer to wake up than the others... they were stored, after all...

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Anyway, it's late so I'm in a blabbering mood. xDD I better stop before I start questioning things like our existence. Now that would be a long discussion.

ALSO. I think you'd be perfect for voice acting a character from a new story of mine. o: (Which is up on Pe2k. It's called Howling in the Shadows.) So if I want a scene from there voiced at any time, I'll be sure to ask you! 8D

Looking forward to more! OH! And the other thing I can criticise is the centred text. It annoys me trying to read a story when it's centred... xDD Or quoted. Sheesh, I'm an old bag.

~GS.
Oh god, it really would. Ahaha!

OOOOH O: I did start reading some of that when you posted it, actually, and then I had to go out and then I... forgot. ._. I SORRY. D': I shall go and read it THIS INSTANT and leave a lovely comment like you have. ♥
Yay for voice-acting! Is the character badass? 8D

Yeah, I wasn't actually gonna center it, but then I messed up the format and it centred and I left it alone. xD Edited!

Thank you for writing so much. OuO *hugglehuggle*
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Old 12-08-2010, 09:19 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

TOMBI!!!!!! :D

Yes! A new Colosseum/Gale of Darkness/Shadow Pokemon fic!!! I do love these stories, especially since I loved those games so much! <3 There needs to be more stories out there with them (or at least on Pe2K xD)

ANYWHO, I'm bad with reviewing/editing help, but Xanthe's probably helped ya loads xD But I'll just say that this was very interesting to read! (Charmeleon character yaaaay~) I love the descriptions you use, and I also like how you wait till later to reveal what Pokemon the characters are; that always creates a little mystery that keeps me hooked (maybe I'm just wierd like that, but I think it's nice xD). But I'm also very curious about why the characters in the very beginning had names like those of the game's characters. Then you wrote in the Zangoose's point of view, saying, "Whatever had happened to me, it had robbed me of myself. Of whoever I had been." and that's got me really thinking...

But anyway, I'm really excited to see more! To see where this goes! Keep up the awesomeful work! :D
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Old 12-08-2010, 09:56 PM
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TOMBI!!!!!! :D
Charmy! :'D *tacklehug*

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Yes! A new Colosseum/Gale of Darkness/Shadow Pokemon fic!!! I do love these stories, especially since I loved those games so much! <3 There needs to be more stories out there with them (or at least on Pe2K xD)
Me too! I think they're seriously fantastic, such a great storyline. ♥

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ANYWHO, I'm bad with reviewing/editing help, but Xanthe's probably helped ya loads xD But I'll just say that this was very interesting to read! (Charmeleon character yaaaay~) I love the descriptions you use, and I also like how you wait till later to reveal what Pokemon the characters are; that always creates a little mystery that keeps me hooked (maybe I'm just wierd like that, but I think it's nice xD). But I'm also very curious about why the characters in the very beginning had names like those of the game's characters. Then you wrote in the Zangoose's point of view, saying, "Whatever had happened to me, it had robbed me of myself. Of whoever I had been." and that's got me really thinking...
Thank you so much. <3 I like waiting to see what species Pokemon are as well.
I'm glad I made you think. There's gonna be lotsa stuff revealed, soooo~ c:

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But anyway, I'm really excited to see more! To see where this goes! Keep up the awesomeful work! :D
Good! Thank yooooou~ ;u;
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:07 AM
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Well if you wanted to, you totally could! xDD I love your artwork, Xanthey, I'd love to see your interpretation of my characters.

Really? ._. BUT WORD TOLD ME IT WAS SPELT RIGHT T______T *smashes Word repeatedly with a large bar of chocolate*
I shall edit. xD

Ooooh... I see. *nodnod* Okay! Thanks~ :D

I was really confused with that part, actually. Word gave me so many green wiggly lines and NOTHING SEEMED TO WORK EXCEPT THE SEMI-COLON ;___; I really wasn't sure... but I'll go back and just change it and ignore it because it lies about stuff like discernible >___>
8D Yaaay! Oh, really? N'yaw. Oh, you. xD Well I might do some then! 8D I haven't drawn a proper picture in a while... I actually doodled yesterday in Paint, and then I had a dream that I doodled over my espeon doodle, and I was like "NOOO!!!" ...It was odd. o: Wow... .-. My whole dream was odd! *remembers*

YUSH. Oh... Well that's 'cause Word thinks it's all fancy and awesome, but really... It's not. O_____O *dramatic music* OH. And the semicolon thing: Word does that to me too! Except it wants me to put it in really stupid places... So I trust my brain over its programming. xDD

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xD Good! n_n

Thank you. :D I wasn't really sure if I should go ahead with it... I mean, I don't want anyone to think I was being weird or anything. ._. But hey. :'D Yeah, when she wrote them she was twelve or thirteen, so the standard they're written at for that age is truly fantastic. They're not THAT long, really- they seemed to be, back when I was twelve- but they're very good and highly entertaining. I believe two of my own characters guest-starred at some point. ♥

xDD I was texting in class without looking yesterday. I was looking very determinedly at the teacher with an almost dangerously-interested expression on my face, and then had to hold in my laughter when I looked down and saw my horrific mistakes.
8D

No worries! ^^ Oh, really? o: xDDD I don't think it's weird at all! But, you know...I'm the one who drew a picture for each of my teachers (except one) this year...and I was in year 11. xDD So, you know. Oh, wow, that's awesome. o: Oh, cool! Well maybe I will read them. ^^ Oh, awesome! I love guest stars. xDD Some of them have become central characters for my Through the Eyes of a Flareon story. xD

Bahahaha, wouldn't that have been more frightening than convincing? xDD Haha, well texting is a little harder because all the keys are in the same vicinity. xD Unless you've got a QWERTY keyboard thing. o: (Have you ever wondered why the keys on a keyboard aren't arranged alphabetically? Or even to make sense? xD Me neither. But I did just then.)

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Aw Xanthe, thank you! ;u; I'm glad you like the way I write. I was really stuck with how to make *refrains from putting the name and gender* the Zangoose feel and think, and how to wake h- ... the Zangoose up. xDDD But I got started eventually. This is the first time I've written in first person, actually, and I find it so much easier!

You'll find out soon enough! :D Have you ever played the Gamecube games?

One of my errors is my lack of fleshing out my characters, I think, so I hope to work on that during this.
No worries. ^^ Well of course I do. xD xDDD Aw, well you did a good job of keeping it a secret in the writing as well. xD Oh, wow. Well yeah, you did do it well then. x) The first real time I wrote in first person was starting TtEoaF, and it's hard in some aspects, but it helps me convey a lot of what Dusty is thinking and feeling, and what she thinks about everyday objects or scenarios or whatever. c:

Awesome. :3 Why yes, I have. ^^ I actually bought Colosseum and convinced my brothers to pitch in and buy a GameCube at the same time, and I loved it. xD It's where my love for misdreavus and suicune came in, since I had both in my party. 0v0 And yeah, I've played XD, but it wasn't mine, so I never finished my game...but I played through the later stages on my friend's file. xD

Oh, really? o: Well yeah, it's a good opportunity to do so. ^^ Yay! 8D

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Haha, I'm planning stuff with the whole second-stage starter-Pokemon thing. :D As for Reath, he isn't older than the others, nor weaker- on the contrary, he may be slightly stronger, which could hint at why he's taking longer to wake up than the others... they were stored, after all...

Oh god, it really would. Ahaha!

OOOOH O: I did start reading some of that when you posted it, actually, and then I had to go out and then I... forgot. ._. I SORRY. D': I shall go and read it THIS INSTANT and leave a lovely comment like you have. ♥
Yay for voice-acting! Is the character badass? 8D

Yeah, I wasn't actually gonna center it, but then I messed up the format and it centred and I left it alone. xD Edited!

Thank you for writing so much. OuO *hugglehuggle*
Oh, awesome. ^^ Yeah, I was wondering if there was a reason behind it plot-wise, and if not, then the reason behind you choosing them. :3 *gasp* Oh, okay, well that explains it. xDD I was just waiting for you to bring up the grey scales and old eyes, haha.

xDDD Haha, I'm glad I decided to knock off. xD

Oh, you did? o: xDDDD Haha, that's fine. c: I didn't really expect anyone but Scy to read it at this stage because she's always the one to read my stuff, and I had been excited about it and trying not to tell her too much about it. xD But I would love if you read it! 8D xDDD Aw, thank you! ^v^

xDD Well it depends on your interpretation of badass. Kind of, but kind of not. I'll let you decide. x)

Oh, really? xDDD Nice one. Sorry about bugging you about it. xD

No worries. ^^ I love when people leave long comments *coughScycough* and if the story's really captured my attention, naturally I'd leave long ones too! 8D *huggles*

OH I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING. When you describe your pokemon, you often say "turtle" or "dinosaur" or something, but personally I think you should say "turtle-like pokemon", or even just "turtle pokemon", since it's odd to think of pokemon as strict animals. o: It might be just me, and you don't have to change it, but yeah. :3

I'LL BE SURE TO COME BACK WHEN YOU'VE POSTED AGAIN. c:
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  #8  
Old 12-09-2010, 11:20 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

Criticism, I have none. I'm far too tired to do so. But I see you're working on Kaze's stuff. I read those a while back, but that's back when I wasn't interested at all in Pokemon Fan-fics. I don't recall commenting on them, but agree, now, with your thoughts on these pieces, and commend your efforts to continue the series (Or whatever it is you seem to be doing with it).

Tombi, you're a pretty awesome writer. I've always admired your efforts, so I can expect you to do well. I'll leave the typo corrections to the professionals, and just be one of those positive and uplifting types that encourage you to pursue your projects and complete them. I agree with the lack of Shadow Pokémon-based stories. Which means people that do them could be like, getting bonus points for originality almost. I can't help but feel that people seeing this are going to cause it to become something trendy to write about. That's not a bad thing, but personally can't stand "trendy" so that's my bit of pessimism for the day.

Anyways, yeah! You got this. Keep up the good work. All that jazz. I'm rooting for you, and stuff. I probably should have typed this when I was more awake, and not rushing to get to work. xD

Have fun, Cait. =]
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Old 12-09-2010, 06:45 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

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8D Yaaay! Oh, really? N'yaw. Oh, you. xD Well I might do some then! 8D I haven't drawn a proper picture in a while... I actually doodled yesterday in Paint, and then I had a dream that I doodled over my espeon doodle, and I was like "NOOO!!!" ...It was odd. o: Wow... .-. My whole dream was odd! *remembers*
I haven't drawn properly for ages, either. Last thing I did was like some random cartoon-ish portrait of a dude in my class, but I made him seriously ugly. He just laughed though. xD
I WANT TO SEE YOUR ESPEON DOODLE ;_;

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YUSH. Oh... Well that's 'cause Word thinks it's all fancy and awesome, but really... It's not. O_____O *dramatic music* OH. And the semicolon thing: Word does that to me too! Except it wants me to put it in really stupid places... So I trust my brain over its programming. xDD
I think I'll do that in future. I DISLIKE IT WHEN PROGRAMS LIE TO ME. >______>

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8D
Seeing this by itself made me laugh. xDDD

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No worries! ^^ Oh, really? o: xDDD I don't think it's weird at all! But, you know...I'm the one who drew a picture for each of my teachers (except one) this year...and I was in year 11. xDD So, you know. Oh, wow, that's awesome. o: Oh, cool! Well maybe I will read them. ^^ Oh, awesome! I love guest stars. xDD Some of them have become central characters for my Through the Eyes of a Flareon story. xD
Awww, but that's nice! At least you're drawing, Xanthe. If my high school Art qualification hadn't ruined my love of art, I probably would be too, but oh well...[

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Bahahaha, wouldn't that have been more frightening than convincing? xDD Haha, well texting is a little harder because all the keys are in the same vicinity. xD Unless you've got a QWERTY keyboard thing. o: (Have you ever wondered why the keys on a keyboard aren't arranged alphabetically? Or even to make sense? xD Me neither. But I did just then.)
I have a QWERTY thingy. xD So it's easier. And I THINK the inventor of the keyboard was actually called Qwert Yuiop or something... that's what I heard, no idea if it's true xDDD

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No worries. ^^ Well of course I do. xD xDDD Aw, well you did a good job of keeping it a secret in the writing as well. xD Oh, wow. Well yeah, you did do it well then. x) The first real time I wrote in first person was starting TtEoaF, and it's hard in some aspects, but it helps me convey a lot of what Dusty is thinking and feeling, and what she thinks about everyday objects or scenarios or whatever. c:
Yeah, that's what I thought. I find it easier to keep the character consistent, I think. It's also easier to react to things in their sightline, and to sounds and other creatures.

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Awesome. :3 Why yes, I have. ^^ I actually bought Colosseum and convinced my brothers to pitch in and buy a GameCube at the same time, and I loved it. xD It's where my love for misdreavus and suicune came in, since I had both in my party. 0v0 And yeah, I've played XD, but it wasn't mine, so I never finished my game...but I played through the later stages on my friend's file. xD
I begged for a Gamecube/Colosseum pack for my birthday xD I wanted it so badly that it would've been cruel to not get it for me, haha! But they did, and I loooooved it and I still do. ♥
XD's story is even better, I think. The amount of battles you're forced into gets a little grating but otherwise, it's fab.

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Oh, awesome. ^^ Yeah, I was wondering if there was a reason behind it plot-wise, and if not, then the reason behind you choosing them. :3 *gasp* Oh, okay, well that explains it. xDD I was just waiting for you to bring up the grey scales and old eyes, haha.
There sure is. Not significant, really, but it's just a detail. n_n And naah, he's just the same, only more weary at the moment x3

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Oh, you did? o: xDDDD Haha, that's fine. c: I didn't really expect anyone but Scy to read it at this stage because she's always the one to read my stuff, and I had been excited about it and trying not to tell her too much about it. xD But I would love if you read it! 8D xDDD Aw, thank you! ^v^

xDD Well it depends on your interpretation of badass. Kind of, but kind of not. I'll let you decide. x)
Well, the more comments the better! :'D

Kind of but kind of not? SOUNDS LIKE ME 8D xD I'm really looking forward to it!

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Oh, really? xDDD Nice one. Sorry about bugging you about it. xD

No worries. ^^ I love when people leave long comments *coughScycough* and if the story's really captured my attention, naturally I'd leave long ones too! 8D *huggles*

OH I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING. When you describe your pokemon, you often say "turtle" or "dinosaur" or something, but personally I think you should say "turtle-like pokemon", or even just "turtle pokemon", since it's odd to think of pokemon as strict animals. o: It might be just me, and you don't have to change it, but yeah. :3

I'LL BE SURE TO COME BACK WHEN YOU'VE POSTED AGAIN. c:
YOU SAY 'NICE ONE'?! *hugs madly* I LOVE AUSTRALIANS YOU'RE THE ONLY PE2KER I'VE MET WHO SAYS THAT TOO AAAAHHHH

Yeah, I do refer to them like that. I think it's because back in the days of Kanto I felt that the Pokemon were a LOT more animal-based, and looking at Rapidash you'd think 'horse' and Bulbasaur 'dinosaur'. Technically Rapidash IS a flaming horse xD Just a Pokemon in the style OF a horse, I guess. I just refer to them as the animal name... I've always called Umbreon's foxes, too. O:

OKAY. 8DDD

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Criticism, I have none. I'm far too tired to do so. But I see you're working on Kaze's stuff. I read those a while back, but that's back when I wasn't interested at all in Pokemon Fan-fics. I don't recall commenting on them, but agree, now, with your thoughts on these pieces, and commend your efforts to continue the series (Or whatever it is you seem to be doing with it).
NONE? O: Oh. xD Well that's fine!

I'm not continuing the series at all- as seen by the lack of Odd and Nakkura. xD I'd never be able to pull it off, and I wouldn't ever be brave enough to even try! No, despite Shadow Sky's infuriating three-year cliffhanger, I think Kaze would want them left alone.

I chose the name Shadow End as Mist and Sky were named after Shadow Moves introduced in XD, and Shadow End is one, too. Shadow End is a highly-powerful rush at the enemy that damages the user by half their current HP (as far as I can tell. It just says it damages the user but it always takes the HP down by half of what it has, so...)
It felt like a fitting tribute to the unfinished trilogy, with the whole 'End' thing. O:

One of Kaze's mains, Nakkura, was also a Zangoose. I felt it was also fitting to use one, despite originally planning to use a Sneasel. I'll probably still introduce one though xDD Sneasels are awesome.

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Tombi, you're a pretty awesome writer. I've always admired your efforts, so I can expect you to do well. I'll leave the typo corrections to the professionals, and just be one of those positive and uplifting types that encourage you to pursue your projects and complete them. I agree with the lack of Shadow Pokémon-based stories. Which means people that do them could be like, getting bonus points for originality almost. I can't help but feel that people seeing this are going to cause it to become something trendy to write about. That's not a bad thing, but personally can't stand "trendy" so that's my bit of pessimism for the day.
Thank you. :'//D
I don't think it'd be influential like that, but if people DO want to write about Shadow Pokemon, it'd be great! There's such a lack of them...

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Anyways, yeah! You got this. Keep up the good work. All that jazz. I'm rooting for you, and stuff. I probably should have typed this when I was more awake, and not rushing to get to work. xD

Have fun, Cait. =]
I'll try! n__n Yay! Thank you~ 8D
Okay xD Have fun at work!
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Old 12-09-2010, 10:43 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

Loving this so far, Cait. Pointed out most of the typos I found on MSN, so I won't bother bringing them up here.

I think what really makes this story (not to mention every story of yours that I've read thus far) is your fantastic imagery. The way you craft the setting with such a vast amount of detail really draws the reader in and places them at the center of the tale. Most would agree that the mark of a great writer is the ability to connect with an audience, and from what I've read here, I'd say you've certainly managed to accomplish that. Can't wait to see where you go with it from here. Good luck! :D
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Old 12-10-2010, 12:00 AM
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I haven't drawn properly for ages, either. Last thing I did was like some random cartoon-ish portrait of a dude in my class, but I made him seriously ugly. He just laughed though. xD
I WANT TO SEE YOUR ESPEON DOODLE ;_;

I think I'll do that in future. I DISLIKE IT WHEN PROGRAMS LIE TO ME. >______>

Seeing this by itself made me laugh. xDDD
Yeah, I think it's a time thing. xDDDD Haha, awesome. Me drawing people...is a laugh. xD
It's not very good. xDD

YES IT'S VERY DISLOYAL. Z:<

xDDDD Hahaha, I felt a need to put it there! xD

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Awww, but that's nice! At least you're drawing, Xanthe. If my high school Art qualification hadn't ruined my love of art, I probably would be too, but oh well...[

I have a QWERTY thingy. xD So it's easier. And I THINK the inventor of the keyboard was actually called Qwert Yuiop or something... that's what I heard, no idea if it's true xDDD

Yeah, that's what I thought. I find it easier to keep the character consistent, I think. It's also easier to react to things in their sightline, and to sounds and other creatures.
Hehe, yay. c: xD Yeah, somewhat. Oh, really? Dx That sucks. It was funny though...as soon as I finished Art this year, I started drawing a lot more. xDDD My friends pointed it out. xDD

Oh, okay. xD Yeah. ARE YOU FO' SHIZZLE?! I had no idea! xD

Yeah, I think so too. ^^ I think that's how I tend to do it most of the time, AND SO YOU YOU WOOO!! *high-five*

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I begged for a Gamecube/Colosseum pack for my birthday xD I wanted it so badly that it would've been cruel to not get it for me, haha! But they did, and I loooooved it and I still do. ♥
XD's story is even better, I think. The amount of battles you're forced into gets a little grating but otherwise, it's fab.
Hahaha, nice one. xDD See, I had to pay for mine myself. xDD Parents were all like "BUY IT YOURSELF!!1!!ONE!!!1!!!" type of thing... :3 Heheh, I love it too! And yeah, since it's much longer and there's more stuff, I'd assume it is, but even if I played the whole way through I think I'd still love Colosseum better. xD Plus I like that the redhead follows you around because it's really funny to break her off if you turn quickly up stairs or something, or around corners in Agate Village. xDDD But you can't do it in XD. Dx ALSO. WHAT'S WITH THESE GAMES AND BEING SEXIST?! I hate when you can't be a girl. ;-; They should make pokemon games where you can't be a guy. xDDD TAKE THAT.

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There sure is. Not significant, really, but it's just a detail. n_n And naah, he's just the same, only more weary at the moment x3

Well, the more comments the better! :'D

Kind of but kind of not? SOUNDS LIKE ME 8D xD I'm really looking forward to it!
Kewl! Ahh, okay. Details are awesome anyway. xD I see. xD

True, that!

xDDD Yes. See, I'm very indecisive about these things. YAY SO AM I.

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YOU SAY 'NICE ONE'?! *hugs madly* I LOVE AUSTRALIANS YOU'RE THE ONLY PE2KER I'VE MET WHO SAYS THAT TOO AAAAHHHH

Yeah, I do refer to them like that. I think it's because back in the days of Kanto I felt that the Pokemon were a LOT more animal-based, and looking at Rapidash you'd think 'horse' and Bulbasaur 'dinosaur'. Technically Rapidash IS a flaming horse xD Just a Pokemon in the style OF a horse, I guess. I just refer to them as the animal name... I've always called Umbreon's foxes, too. O:

OKAY. 8DDD
YES I DO! QUITE FREQUENTLY ACTUALLY. c: *is hugged madly* xDDD Really? Well clearly more people need to pick up on our awesome phrases and use them as well!

Yeah, ahh, that makes sense. xDD Just from past experiences with people, it kinda blurs the line between reality and fantasy for me, but yeah, that's probably just me. xDD Good point. Well, maybe part unicorn since they have horns. xD Yeah. But what would you call a bronzor? "A cling sounded as the navy blue plate hit the floor..."

AND IN THE MEANTIME...you know...to reply to posts. c:

~GS.
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  #12  
Old 12-10-2010, 03:26 AM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

Okay... so I still need to read through the other fics before I can get started on this one, but Tombi, I think that what you're doing is absolutely great. <3 I've got a couple of "dedicated-to" projects (even if one of them is just an arc in Wings Have We, heheh), but I've never been able to get enough done to post them... but I think that paying tribute to your respected authors and stories is a great idea. Admittedly, I never knew Kaze or her stories, but you clearly did - and you've gone the whole nine yards to pay tribute to them. <3

Looks like I'm gonna be going on an archive binge now! =D
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  #13  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:07 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

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Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post

YES I DO! QUITE FREQUENTLY ACTUALLY. c: *is hugged madly* xDDD Really? Well clearly more people need to pick up on our awesome phrases and use them as well!

Yeah, ahh, that makes sense. xDD Just from past experiences with people, it kinda blurs the line between reality and fantasy for me, but yeah, that's probably just me. xDD Good point. Well, maybe part unicorn since they have horns. xD Yeah. But what would you call a bronzor? "A cling sounded as the navy blue plate hit the floor..."

AND IN THE MEANTIME...you know...to reply to posts. c:

~GS.
ME TOO. 8D I say 'good one' and 'nice one'. xD WE'RE SO COOOOOL.

A Bronzor is STUPID AND NOT A POKEMON FOURTH GEN SUCKS AND I HATE IT EXCEPT FOR DRAPION.

Then again, what the hell is a Magnemite... just a floating magnet, I guess? With an eye. Hmn. ._.

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Originally Posted by Giratina View Post
Okay... so I still need to read through the other fics before I can get started on this one, but Tombi, I think that what you're doing is absolutely great. <3 I've got a couple of "dedicated-to" projects (even if one of them is just an arc in Wings Have We, heheh), but I've never been able to get enough done to post them... but I think that paying tribute to your respected authors and stories is a great idea. Admittedly, I never knew Kaze or her stories, but you clearly did - and you've gone the whole nine yards to pay tribute to them. <3

Looks like I'm gonna be going on an archive binge now! =D
Thank you so much! :'D I'm glad it's been received well... I really do recommend her stories, she was such a great writer.
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  #14  
Old 12-12-2010, 02:55 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

/is much too lazy to read all the comments

This is pretty interesting! I'll keep reading. I'm much too lazy to go back and read the fanfics by Kaze Megami, but I do like this. I don't really know how to critique, so...

*crickets*

*suddenly realizes that everyone else's comments is like five million paragraphs, and I have this dinky comment that just says 'yeah, I'll keep reading'*

Uh....

*more crickets*

...I'm going now. Goodbye. *scoots away nervously*
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  #15  
Old 12-12-2010, 03:43 PM
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Default Re: >>Shadow End<< [Dedicated to Kaze Megami]

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Originally Posted by Doodlebop View Post
/is much too lazy to read all the comments

This is pretty interesting! I'll keep reading. I'm much too lazy to go back and read the fanfics by Kaze Megami, but I do like this. I don't really know how to critique, so...

*crickets*

*suddenly realizes that everyone else's comments is like five million paragraphs, and I have this dinky comment that just says 'yeah, I'll keep reading'*

Uh....

*more crickets*

...I'm going now. Goodbye. *scoots away nervously*
Thank you! :'D xD Don't worry, all comments are amazing! I appreciate it. ♥
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