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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 04-14-2004, 08:41 PM
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Default Moonlit Quest

OOC: I have always enjoyed writing fantasy/fiction stories, but this is my first pokemon story. I feel like my writing has improved over the years, but I know that there is still plenty of room for improvement. So, I hope this story and the feedback from the graders will help me improve my writing. Well, Enjoy!

Chapter I
One Tough Taillow


“Come on Eevee. You need to keep up,” said Robyn, a young 12-year old trainer with dark green eyes and short brown hair. Behind her, a worn out Eevee ran to keep up. “Ee Eewee,” complained the young pokemon. It had been awhile since they had rested, and Eevee looked like it couldn’t take much more.

“All right, we’ll take a quick break,” said Robyn giving in to Eevee’s complaining. “Eeweee,” yelled Eevee happily. They both settled down under the cool shade of a maple tree nearby. Eevee immediately laid next to Robyn while she leaned back against the tree and checked her watch. It was already five fifteen and she had promised to meet with Josh at six. She was hoping to catch a new pokemon today, but it was obvious that wouldn’t happen.

Robyn has been a pokemon trainer for a couple days, but Eevee was the only pokemon she has. Eevee was given to Robyn as a birthday present a year ago. In that time they had grown really close. Eevee had become a pretty good battler, but he also had a habit of being lazy and laziness isn’t the best trait for a pokemon to have. Still, Eevee was very loyal to Robyn.

Robyn searched through her bag for one of the Sitrus berries she had found earlier. Maybe it would help Eevee recover his strength. She grabbed one of the yellow pear-like berries. “Eevee, do you want a Sitrus Berry?” “Eewee!” exclaimed Eevee happily as he bit into the large berry. After Eevee finished the berry, he curled up next to Robyn as she gently stroked his light brown fur.

It had been a very long day. Just forty minutes ago Robyn had attempted to catch a Pidgeotto. Unfortunately, the attempt didn’t last long because the Pidgeotto called on a few of its friends soon after. It took a lot to discourage Robyn, though. She was still as determined as ever to catch a new pokemon. Eevee was a little less determined though. After taking a beating from the Pidgeotto, he was ready to go home.

“We should probably get going,” said Robyn. “Come on Eevee.” Robyn picked up her bag and got up. “Eevee?” Eevee was still lying on the soft grass, fast asleep. Robyn kneeled down next to Eevee and shook him awake. “Come on, we have to go.” Eevee was a little resistant to getting up, but he stretched and got up slowly.

Robyn walked along Route 2 with Eevee trotting along her feet. She was heading towards Viridian City where her older brother Josh lived. Josh usually wasn’t home though. Two years ago, he decided to become a pokemon researcher, so he spent hours and hours watching and studying pokemon as Professor Oak’s assistant. Whenever Robyn saw him, he would talk for hours of all the ‘fascinating’ things about Rattatas and Sentrets.

While they were walking, Eevee suddenly stopped with ears raised high in the air. “What is it?” Robyn asked. Eevee stared at a small shrub nearby. The shrub shook slightly and a small white and blue pokemon hopped out. It had two small brown feet, two blue wings, and sparkling blue eyes. The tiny female pokemon stared straight into Eevee’s eyes and Eevee stared straight back. “Eevee! It’s a Taillow!” exclaimed Robyn. Robyn quickly pulled out her pokedex to see what it had to say about Taillow.

<Taillow, the Tiny Swallow Pokémon. Taillow are courageous pokemon that will stand up to any foe, no matter how strong they are. But because Taillow are young, they sometimes become lonesome and will cry out at night. >

“Are you ready, Eevee?” asked Robyn. “Eewee” replied Eevee. She may have failed at catching the Pidgeotto earlier, but she was determined to catch this Taillow.
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  #2  
Old 04-14-2004, 08:42 PM
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Default Re: Moonlit Quest

Chapter 1 Continued...

Eevee and Taillow continued to glare into the other’s eyes. Eevee had started to growl softly, but Taillow stood completely still. Taillow looked quite confident. It was almost like this was just a daily routine to her. Robyn could already tell that this Taillow was more skilled than the average Taillow. It would take all of their strength to beat it.

“Eevee, use quick attack,” commanded Robyn. Eevee ran towards Taillow, gathering speed along the way. Still, Taillow did not move. Eevee was only inches away from the small bird pokemon when Taillow suddenly flew into the air. Eevee, still at full speed, had to skid to a stop to avoid running into a nearby tree. With no time to react, Taillow had swooped down onto Eevee and started to peck at him ferociously.

“Quick, use Growl,” said Robyn. Eevee let out a deep, loud growl scaring Taillow away from him. “Eevee, now is your chance. Use Bite.” Eevee jumped beside Taillow it bit down on her neck. “Taillow TAILL,” screeched Taillow as she flapped her wings violently. Eevee wasn’t able to hold on to Taillow and fell backwards.

Taillow was angry now. In one swift movement, she had lifted herself in the air and was heading straight for Eevee. “Protect yourself with a Sand-attack,” said Robyn, hoping Eevee would be fast enough. Eevee quickly surrounded Taillow with a thick layer of sand. Taillow, unable to see, kept on flying towards a tree.

BANG! Taillow had crashed into the tree and now had her beak stuck in the bark. She placed her small brown feet against the tree and pushed with all her might, but it was no use. Now was the perfect opportunity to attack. “Alright, Eevee, this is it. Use another bite on Taillow.” “Ee Eewee,” replied Eevee. Eevee quickly hopped onto a branch close to the stuck Taillow. He then clamped his teeth on Taillow’s back.

Taillow flapped her wings furiously, trying to free herself from Eevee’s bite. Sometime in the scrambling, Taillow had managed to free her beak. Both Eevee and Taillow fell to the ground and Eevee got ready for another attack. Taillow appeared to be weak now as she was breathing heavily. Still, she got ready for another attack. Taillow wasn’t giving up.

Robyn knew it wouldn’t take much more to defeat Taillow. “Eevee, let’s finish this with one last Quick Attack.” Eevee nodded in agreement and started into a sprint while Taillow lifted herself into the air and dived toward Eevee. Both of them collided and fell down onto the ground. Eevee slowly got up, but Taillow was finding it difficult to get back up. This was Robyn’s chance.

Robyn grabbed a pokeball out of her bag and whirled it towards Taillow. Taillow turned into a red glow was sucked into the red and white sphere. The pokeball fell to the ground and started to shake from side to side. The whole time Robyn wondered if she would catch the Taillow…

OOC: This story is now ready for grading.
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  #3  
Old 05-29-2004, 05:49 PM
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Default Re: Moonlit Quest

...sorry for the late grade.

it's a simple first story, i like the way it's written--kinda gave me a good feeling. the battle is fine, nice details. for grammer, however, you need to separate paragraphs for Robyn's speaking from Eevee's speaking. Lastly, try to work on improving length for future stories.

Outcome- Taillow Caught!

~Jack~
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