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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 01-03-2007, 12:28 AM
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Default Forest Fight

Part I: Lost and Found

My luck has taken an extended vacation, Mira thought miserably. Or maybe it’s not luck, but just the fact that the whole world’s against me. Or maybe it’s both that landed me in this forest.

Ember stirred slightly and rolled over in the grassy bed Mira had made.

“You lucky Pokemon,” Mira grumbled. “You’re so used to the forest, huh? I’m in a sleeping bag and I can’t, well…sleep.” She glanced around. It was actually a pretty nice forest. Maple and oak tree branches hung over her, blotting out the full moon. An occasional breeze stirred the knee-high grass with a soft whispering sound. Nincadas and near-asleep Pidgeys chirped. Very relaxing. Mira yawned and closed her eyes. She could feel herself being pulled away from the forest and into a haze of sleep. The soft sounds melded into a distant lullaby, as Mira-

“COLO! LUDI LUDICOL-O!”

“YAAAHH!” Mira screamed, jumping in the air like Wily E. Coyote when he realizes the boulder he rolled down the hill is coming back to him. Ember scampered behind a tree and slowly poked his head out.

Still shaking, Mira glanced at her wrist. 2:47, the green digits told her. Sighing, she flopped onto her pillow and began one of her infamous rants.

“Okay, first, after an entire day of trudging through the wilderness, we arrive in Pewter only to find that the Gym is closed because the leader went on a journey with someone named Osh or something. THEN when we want to hang around, we find that the ONLY hotel in the city is booked up to the rafters, so we have to rough it! And now, these Ludicolo are having a party right nearby, those stupid-“

Mira felt a scaly hand on her shoulder and turned to see Ember’s blue eyes locked with hers.

“Charmander,” Ember said firmly, but also a bit crossly, as if saying, Suck it up.

Mira sighed and sat up. “Sorry, but it just seems so unfair. Can’t anything go our way, just once?”

Their eyes locked, and Mira smiled thinly. But her smile quickly faded and her eyes narrowed. She glanced around suspiciously and turned back to Ember.

“Ember, did you hear something?” she whispered, so quiet that Ember had to strain to hear her.

“Char?” Ember said questioningly.

4 eyes widened in unison as a small, pitiful squeal resounded through the air.

“Tell me you heard that,” Mira muttered, and Ember nodded meekly.

“It sounds like it came from that tree…” Mira noted, staring at a large oak tree with roots crisscrossing the dirt like veins. She walked around the tree, bent over to examine it closer, then frowned. “But I don’t see any Pokemon here…Perhaps we’re going crazy?”

Ember shrugged nonchalantly and stretched. She froze mid yawn as her eye caught something hidden in the mess of roots near the tree.

“Man, I just don’t get it,” Mira muttered, still scouring the tree for any signs of Pokemon. “Where did that noise-“ Mira stopped when she saw Ember, eyes as wide as her frozen mouth. “Uh…Ember?”

“Char!” Ember yelped and clamped her mouth shut. A red blush crept up the Charmander’s face, as Ember was a bit embarrassed about being caught in such a ludicrous pose.

Mira didn’t notice; she was busy checking out where Ember’s eyes had been locked. A small tunnel, barely wide enough for Ember to fit through, was hidden amongst the roots. Two faces peered into the hole.

Mira was the first to react.

She gasped and grasped her mouth with both hands, then squinted back into the hole.

“I don’t believe this,” she murmured…
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Last edited by Larvinator; 01-31-2007 at 01:24 PM.
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2007, 12:49 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

(ZOMG! I'm Updating! Is it possible? xD)

A-ron in with Evil

Mira and Ember blinked.

A pair of light blue eyes blinked back.

It didn’t take all too long for Mira to identify the little Pokemon nestled in the bottom of the hole. It was covered with a silver armor on all but it’s grey underbelly. Black dots were…dotted…on the Pokemon’s body. 4 tiny, stubby legs were sprawled out amidst the rotting leaves and mud. Mira could clearly see that it was an Aron, but that hadn’t been the reason for her shock. The real reason was the distressful situation the little guy was in. There were dents all over the armor, and in some places the armor had even melted away slightly. The underside was even worse. Bruises and burns literally covered all of the grey stomach, and to top it all off, there were three long gashes down his stomach, each caked in decayed leaves, dirt, and dried blood.


Mira did everything she could to stop herself from gagging at the disgusting sight. After a few minutes of battle, she finally calmed the bile rising in her throat. “You poor thing,” she gasped at last. “We need to get you to a Pokemon Center.” She was about to grab the trembling Aron when she heard another sound.

“What’s that?” Mira asked herself. “Ember, do you hear that?” The little fire lizard nodded gravely.

Every minute the sound grew louder. In only a minute, Mira could tell it was chanting of some sort. And in 5 minutes, she could distinguish some words. What she heard was surprising, to say the least.

“Rockets!”
“Rockets!”
“Sound off!”
“Sound off!”
“We’re the Bad-News Rockets!
We’ll storm your house by picking those lock-ets!
If there’s a Pokemon in your care,
We’ll steal it and…um…steal it…and…uh…”

The chanting broke off into bits of conversation and arguing.

“Um…what came next in dat song?” a Brooklyn-accented male voice asked.

“Wasn’t it something about pulling down underwear?” came a rather average male voice.

“Dats for ‘Olloween, you twit!” came the Brooklyn voice.

“In my opinion, you’re all twits.” The voice was unmistakably female, and carried a snappy, commanding tone to it. Somehow, the very sound of that voice sent shivers on an express trip down Mira’s nervous system.

“You’re all twits,” her voice continued, “Because you idiots let that Aron get away!”

Mira stared into the hole where Aron was letting out tiny, piteous squeaks at the sound of its master’s voice. An unmistakable feeling of dread slowly crept over her body until it had seized her entirely, both mentally and physically. Too afraid to move, she kept listening.

“You 2 morons know how much the boss would’ve loved us! Think about it! Forcing evolution on the Aron would’ve left us with a pile of a substance harder than granite for use! But you guys had to screw it up!” the woman screeched, obviously quite agitated.

“Naw. Just James. He’s da one who lost track of dat Aron,” the deep voice commented.

“ME?!” the normal voice, who Mira now knew was James, yelled. “You’re the one who just had to grab some Meow-Meowth Catnip while you were supposed to be on guard duty!”

Meow-Meowth Catnip? Huh? Mira thought, confused. Why would a human- She stopped as the realization slowly sunk into her mind.

“Hey, I can’t help it if dey make dat stuff so irresistible!” the heavily accented voice retorted. “Heh, I purr just thinkin’ about dat stuff!”

Well, Mira thought, now completely confused. That Brooklyn voice is either a Pokemon or some psychopath person. I guess we’ll find out soon enough, anyway…

“It doesn’t matter whose fault it was. We just have to spend the rest of this lovely day looking for it,” the female snapped. Mira could practically see the woman’s eyes rolling in disgust.

“But I HATE searching! Especially in this creepy forest!” James whined.

“But we don’t have to search in dis forest,” the whatever-it-was piped up.

“Huh?”

“I said we don’t have to search,” the Brooklyn accent continued. “Because we got dis little toy here! You see, I planted a trackin’ device on dat Aron in case dis might happen. I jus’ need to find dat little thing…”

“Good job, Meowth! That was smart of you.”

Well, that answers that, Mira thought. A talking Meowth! Jeepers. I suppose this Aron here will start rambling about the weather, too. But even through all her joking, Mira knew she was in trouble. As soon as that furball found the tracking device…

“Pokefood…Pokefood…James, how much of dis stuff do you need?!”

“At least as much catnip as you need!”

“Shut up, both of you!” the woman screeched. “Hurry up, Meowth. The sooner we can find that little brat, the sooner I can implement some serious correction.”

The crack of a whip echoed through the forest. A few Pidgeys took flight, scared to death by the sudden noise. That one sickening crack told Mira everything about the little creature huddled in the hole, where Aron was shaking tremendously from the noise. It’s life…and the wounds it had inflicted. Mira’s gaze settled on the gashes in the little Pokemon’s stomach, and an unspeakable rage settled upon her slowly until every artery in her body was pumping with rage and delivering it to every cell, until every inch of her body was bathed in anger and adrenaline.

Suddenly remembering Ember, she turned her gaze towards the Charmander and was quite surprised by his reaction to all this.

Ember was literally quaking with fury. His eyes were lowered to the ground, but Mira could see a fire she’d never seen before in anyone. And as Ember’s fire grew, so did Mira’s. It was time.

“Hurry up and find it, Meowth!”

“I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’! James jammed too much stuff in dis bag!”

“James, you’re a twit.”

“I wish you wouldn’t call me that, now that we’re married and all that…”

“I found it! I found-“

“Hey, Bad-Luck Losers!” Mira’s taunting voice interrupted Meowth’s victory speech. “I found your Pokemon! You want it? Well, come get it!”

Mira could hear them all gasp, then the sound of twigs snapping as they ran toward the sound of her voice. She had 10 seconds, at the most. But she remained calm as she bent down toward the hole where Aron was still whimpering. “You’ll be safer with me,” Mira whispered as she reached in to grab Aron.

~x-x-x~

The mere touch of her fingers caused Aron to shudder. It was just like the touch of Master’s hands when she lifted him up and screamed at him. And that was followed by beatings. What seemed like countless hours of torture, begging, and mercilessness. But her eyes…they were nothing like Master’s eyes, full of anger and hate. These eyes had compassion and caring, and…fear? But was that enough to put his trust, his life in her hands? The hands of this girl, this stranger?

He could feel the choice slowly being taken away from him. He had been struggling just to stay awake for the last hour, and now this confusion…

“Where’d the voice come from again?”

Someone was talking. But Aron didn’t care. He was so far, so far away…

“This baby will show us where dat brat is!”

Aron felt a vague tingling sensation along his back. But he was too far away to care. But it grew into something more, more painful.

“Aron? Ar…AROOON!”

The tingling sensation exploded into a giant, rhythmic beating pain. Wave after wave of torture rolled over his body like tsunamis over an ocean from hell. His consciousness went out like a light with one final scream of terror.

~x-x-x~

Mira almost screamed along with Aron in pure shock. But she forced herself to grab the screaming Aron. She, too, felt a shock, but only for a second as Aron passed out. She carefully tucked Aron under her arm and turned around just as a Meowth entered the area.

“Told you guys dat it would work!” the Meowth said happily.

Mira felt angrier than she ever had in her life. "You want this guy?" Mira growled. "You want to battle? I'll tell you what. I'll give you a war..."
__________________
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Originally Posted by The KKK Official Site
The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. has not or EVER will have ANY connection with The "Westboro Baptist Church".

Last edited by Larvinator; 02-17-2007 at 12:52 AM.
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  #3  
Old 02-14-2007, 10:36 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

War of the Trainers

Obviously, it didn’t take very long for them to follow their little Meowth, and within a few seconds Mira could finally put a face to the voices she’d been hearing.

The first-which Mira assumed was James-looked to be about 35 years old. Some grey streaks showed through his purple, shoulder-length hair. And the second one that darted into view had ridiculously long, red hair and was about the same age as James. Hadn’t James called her Jessie at some point? They both had red uniforms and white boots, plus a large white ‘R’ at the center of their shirts.

“You give us that Aron right now, brat, you hear me!? We put all our sweat, blood, and tears, into, uh…buying that Aron,” James growled unconvincingly.

“Allow me to elaborate,” Jessie remarked with a smirk. “Give us that Aron…or prepare to fight!”

“Meowth! Dat’s right!” the talking kitten added.

“How about no?” Mira growled, clutching the Aron against her chest.

“Fine, then,” James muttered. “Masukippa, teach that brat her place!”

“Masu-whatta?” Mira said, confused. “What is that name, Japanese?”

James didn’t answer. All he did was throw the Pokeball. Mira shielded her eyes against the blinding white light. When she was certain it was safe to open her eyes without burning them right out of her sockets, Mira saw a nasty-looking creature.

The first thing that popped into Mira’s head was, Good Lord, I’m fighting a Venus flytrap? And that description was fairly accurate. Except for the red and green tentacle-like vines that served as the creature’s arms and legs. And those white, nearly pupil-less eyes…

Se clutched Aron in horror as Jessie threw her Pokeball, terribly afraid of what creature would come out next. The infamous bright light cut through the air, and…

“Wobbuff-et!”

Mira breathed a sigh of relief as a normal, everyday Wobbuffet came into view, paw on the forehead in a stupid army soldier pose.

Mira shifted the still unconscious Aron into her left hand as she reached for a Pokeball. After fumbling for a couple seconds, she finally managed to find the right one.

“Skyhawk! Show ‘em who’s boss!”

The rather grand nickname alone made these “Bad News Rockets” look more than a little worried. But when they saw the tiny Pidgey pop out of the ball with a less-than-fearsome coo, they all burst out laughing.

“Oh! A 3-inch-long bird! I’m soooo scared!” James taunted between laughs.

“Maybe you should come back when you have a real fighter, twerp!” Jessie cackled.

Meowth was laughing too hard to say anything. Even Massu-whatever was chuckling. The only Rocket that wasn’t laughing was Wobbuffet, whose face drew a total blank.

“Wob?” it questioned, looking around for answers.

After getting over her slight embarrassment, Mira quickly realized that this was her chance. Those Rockets were too busy laughing to notice what she did…or, more importantly, what Ember did.

“Ready, buddy?”

“Char.”

“Go get ‘em.”

Without a sound, Ember raced towards the flytrap monster. The Pokemon was wiping away tears of laughter. When it finally did look up and saw the tiny, grey lizard scampering towards it a breakneck speed, it’s eyes widened in surprise. It tried to run, but of course it was too late.

SCRIIP! Ember’s claws slashed through a vine.

“MASSU!” Ember’s unlucky target screamed in pain.

Mira was the first to notice the damage. At first she only saw something twitching in the grass. She gently set the two unconscious Pokemon down to get a better look. Her stomach flip-flopped as she saw what it was.

Ember had taken one of Massukippa’s vines clean off.

Massukippa screamed and fainted, and James quickly followed. Meowth and Wobbuffet looked sickened. Only Jessie was undisturbed.

“Oh, shut up. It’s a plant. Plants grow back.” Jessie growled. Though her words were harsh, it was true; Mira could already see some of the wound healing over.

Mira didn’t waste much time gawking. “Skyhawk, Drill Peck!” she commanded. The little bird closed its eyes in concentration. Its beak began to glow. After a few seconds, Skyhawk opened his eyes.

“PIIIID!” he cried as he swooped down at full speed.

The entire time, Jessie had been standing there with a look of smug confidence on her face. Now she revealed why. “Wobbuffet, Counter!”

“Nooo!” Mira cried, but it was too late to call off the attack. Wobbuffet glowed a rainbow color just as Skyhawk hit.

“WOOOB!”

“PIIID!”

Both of them were hit hard. Wobbuffet stumbled forward and fell. Skyhawk screamed as he bounced off. Mira knew her little bird couldn’t have survived that attack.

But if there was one thing Jessie had miscalculated, it was the angle. Jessie let out a yelp of surprise as Skyhawk slammed into her and knocked her against a tree. Mira knew that Jessie was down for now.

Ember was up and ready for more, but Wobbuffet was having difficulty standing from Skyhawk’s blow. There was also that Meowth, who was looking somewhat frightened now, but Mira doubted that a Pokemon dignified enough to talk human and walk upright on its hind legs would battle.

“Ember, finish with-“

“Wait!” Meowth yelled, cutting Mira off. “I think I know how to solve dis without fighting.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re losing? More importantly, does this plan involve roasting your whiskers?” Mira asked dryly.

“My plan,” Meowth continued, ignoring Mira’s comment. “Would involve having dis here Pokemon here choose for himself.”

“Interesting proposal.”

“Just set dat Aron right between us…”

“You are aware that Ember can make roasted cat-kebabs out of you if you try anything, right?”

Meowth glanced at Massukippa’s severed vine and shifted nervously on his hind legs. “Yes.”

“Fine.” Mira felt lucky and stupid enough to do it. She walked halfway between them and set the pokemon down. Aron was stirring as Mira ran back.

Aron cautiously opened his blue eyes. Startled at his new surroundings, he jolted awake instantly. “Aron?” he questioned the Meowth.

“You have to decide which one of us you want to be your Trainer.” Mira said calmly.

Well. This was interesting. Aron knew he had to decide, and fast. The Meowth, being a Pokemon, was friendlier looking to the steel pokemon than that other girl. But he had always associated a Meowth with those horrible people that beat him and his buddy Ekans all the time.

He had to decide.

This was ridiculous! Ekans had always helped him with long-term, important decisions. And now he was deciding for himself! But even Ekans couldn’t have done this. He knew nothing about the creatures before him.

He had to decide.

For himself.

And now!




Just had to finish changing some things. Go ahead and grade. ^^
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The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. has not or EVER will have ANY connection with The "Westboro Baptist Church".

Last edited by Larvinator; 02-17-2007 at 12:47 AM.
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  #4  
Old 02-15-2007, 03:35 AM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

I used to be Boogeyman...I'm on the inactive graders list but I'm here to make my return, expect a grade in 24 hours or less.
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Old 02-15-2007, 01:06 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Okay. Thank you. ^^
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:05 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiikari View Post
Overall: Well would you look at that...5 passes....hmm I'll have to say. Ekans Captured! Enjoy your new mon. ^^
Erm...it was for both Ekans and Aron. oo; Perhaps I didn't make it clear enough...I'll edit the ending a bit.
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Old 02-16-2007, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Oh...well I'm sorry but this isn't near long enough for two pokemon...may I suggest editing it so you go for just one of them?
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Old 02-17-2007, 12:53 AM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Alright. Ekans died. Okay, not really. I mention him, but he's no longer part of the capture.
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Old 02-17-2007, 01:12 AM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Okay my first grade in quite some time, aren't you lucky?

Plot: I enjoyed the plot, and I thought you threw some good stuff in there. The trainer develops self pity, nothing ever goes their way ect. Then finally something does go their way and they enjoy it. I also loved your witty banter in this. And even though the "WOOB" and the "PID" were pokemon...the image of that corny batman cartoon came to mind. xD.

Overall Plot=Good enough for me. Pass.

Spelling/Grammar: I didn't find too many errors, maybe a section where you had some "-" where they didn't have to be there but other than that good. Also, may I also point out that when your writing a story it's good to spell out the numbers. You used "4" a few times in there and then I saw "two". It's just to kind of clean up the story a little. ^^'

Overall Grammar=Pass

Battle:The battle was good and pretty evenly matched. I didn't see a clear blow off hip hop and horray victory which is good. I mean what kind of battle is that easy. At first when I read it, the story was a tad confusing at the end. The having to pick and choose part but now I think I get it.

Battle=Pass

Length:Aron is a rare pokemon...so I would say probably a little more...

Length= pass

Description: Your description was good, especially in your first chapter but all around. It was vivid and played around in my head. Good job.

Description=Pass

Overall:Aron Captured.

Last edited by PainKiller; 02-17-2007 at 03:27 PM.
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Old 02-17-2007, 02:01 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

I don't follow. Aron is on the Complex list, which means he needs about 10k at the minimum. I have 14,600 characters according to Word's character count, and that's without spaces.
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Old 02-17-2007, 03:27 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larvinator View Post
I don't follow. Aron is on the Complex list, which means he needs about 10k at the minimum. I have 14,600 characters according to Word's character count, and that's without spaces.
Heh sorry abou that, things have changed since I last graded...post edited.
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Old 02-17-2007, 05:26 PM
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Default Re: Forest Fight

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aiikari View Post
Heh sorry abou that, things have changed since I last graded...post edited.
That's okay. Thank you. ^^
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