Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-06-2007, 02:01 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default My beginning

I woke up as my mom called into my room."Hey red,its time for breakfast,hurry too,you don't wanna miss professor oak on the day you get your Pokémon!"She yelled energetically.

I
slowly sat up."OK ma ill be right down!"i yelled as i realized what day it was.It was the day i get my first Pokémon!And i had already set my sights on one pokemon....squirtle!Ohhh it so awesome!I got dressed and practical flew down the stairs.I ate quickly and bade my mother ado and left.


On the way to Professor Oak's lab i saw many trainers with many different Pokémon.Some of which i have heard of and some my mother had once owned.I was so intrigued that i didn't realize i had walked right into the lab,once i realized i i stopped to make sure i was heading to the right place.

Then i walked into Oaks office and saw him standing working on something.I was hesitant to talk."um,Professor Oak?I'm here for a Pokémon."I said shyly.

Oak turned around."Ah you've come,i have quite a few Pokémon left for new trainers to choose from.I have squirtle pidgey pichu and many more different Pokémon species.What would you like to choose?"He said kindly but swiftly.


I hesitated but answered."I'm looking for a squirtle.Ive been set on this since i was a baby!I want on SO bad,please Professor,please tell me you have one!"I begged.I felt a little foolish for begging but i really wanted a squirtle.

Oak chuckled."Calm down,calm down!No need for begging!"He said as he picked up a poke ball and handed it to me."This poke ball has squirtle in it.I captured it just a few years before you were born.Make sure you take care of it on your journeys."He chimed.

"oh,and don't forget this!"He said quickly.Oak then handed me a pokedex and a few poke balls."Use these to catch other Pokémon and remember,each time you Pokémon faces someone Else's it gains experience,so take care on you journey he said as i walked out.

WOW!A real squirtle right in my hands!I cant wait to train it! I thought.I said bye to my friends teachers and family members and i walked out of the gates starting my journey.....


. . .


I was walking along the trail and i was still debating morally whether or not to send out my squirtle.As i was walking,i stopped and said to myself,"OK squirtle,time to meet me."


Then i threw the poke ball in the air and yelled,"Let's go squirtleee!"In and instant i saw th little blue water Pokémon looking at me cutely."Hi I'm Red and I'm your trainer,we are gonna travel every-where together!''I said enthusiastically.

It looked as if squirtle was about to respond but was destracted by something moving in the bushes.A bulbasuar flung itself out of the green,obviously using tackle,and tried to hit me with it,but i somewhat dodged it.

I said,"Awesome,just the Pokémon i was looking for!"When Bulbasuar turned around ready to strike once more i reacted quickly."Squirtle tackle bulbasaur!"When i yelled squirtle slammed itself into Bulbasaur,knocking it back.

That's not gonna be enough to stop it i better continue tackling it.I thought,and with that,ordered squirtle to attack some more.Even though i apparently landed several hits,Bulbasaur seemed to tire me more than squirtle.

I saw squirtle start to tire out so i threw poke ball,which the Pokémon broke free of.Then i picked one up,prayed an threw it.I waited as the Pokémon was transfered inside.......
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-12-2007 at 01:35 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 02-07-2007, 01:08 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

The Pokémon broke free before the poke ball could even get a grip!"Argh....are Bulbasaurs really this tough?I've heard of people who have caught them easily.But why cant i?Gotta keep trying!I thought as i ordered squirtle to tackle the opposing Bulbasaur.


It seemed that every time i thought i had Bulbasaur,it broke free.Then i remembered something oak had once said:

Oak:"Now kids,the first thing i want to know is what the key strategy of catching a Bulbasaur is.Now,can anybody tell me?OK,the key is to keep it out of sunlight.This is crucial because the bulb on its back can take in sunlight,which heals it quickly giving it a lot of strength......They key is......Sunlight!That's it sunlight!I thought as bulbasaur and Squirtle attacked each other.


"Squirtle,force bulbasaur into the woods away from this valley!"I ordered as Squirtle starting tackling Bulbasaur,knocking it back into the trees."Now,go!Poke ball!"I yelled as my last poke ball flew at bulbasaur transferring it in.All i could do is wait...........
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-12-2007 at 01:36 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-08-2007, 02:10 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

As i waited anxiously the pokemon broke free.Since squirtle
was looking tired and bulbasaur was still attacking i returned Squirtle and ran for it.I looked behind and saw that Bulbasuar wasn't pursuing.I was thinking about slowing down but i was scared Bulbasaur would make a suprise entrance.Once i reached pallet town i ran into Proffeser Oak's lab and asked him to heal squirtle,so he went ahead and healed it.After he healed it he turned to me,"So Red,why the sudden visit?"He asked with a stern look on his face.I told him about Bulbasaur and how i used all my pokeballs on it.


After the explanation he said,''Well,seems you have a problem with you fighting wild pokemon.You should wait til it looks as if it's about it is about to faint.Then use you pokeball on it.Here's five more pokeballs and a couple of potions."He handed me the suplies and i left for the forest in search for the bulbasaur that wiped me out last time i was there.And,as i expected,it found me agian."Okay Bulbasaur.I'm gonna get you this time!Go,squirtle!"I yelled as the small water pokemon came out of it's pokeball.Bulbasaur seemed to be a little tired from last time they clashed but i wasn't expecting an easy catch.


"Tackle!"I ordered as squirtle ramed itself into the grass pokemon.They ramed and ramed and ramed each other untill they had to stop from fatigue."Squirtle can you still fight?"I asked quickly.Squirtle squeked an "im fine'' look but it started to wince and grab it's leg."Squirtle get over here quick!"I grabbed it and used one of the potions proffessor Oak gave me to use.Squirtle looked like a million dollars after i used it."Squirtle,use tackle!"I ordered as squirtle hit Bulbasaur with a critical hit.It looked like Bulbasaur was going to faint but i new it was strong.So i continued to order squirtle to tackle Bulbasaur.


Bulbasaur started to fall over but it used some type of berry and stood back up.Squirtle was using tackle without me telling it to becuase that's the only attack it knows and i said keep on using tackle.Then after what seemed like forever it fell over.Even though it was nearly knocked out it could still break free.So i used my pokeball."Go pokeball!"I yelled as it was transfered inside.I was praying to god this would work and i hoped it would...........
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-12-2007 at 01:36 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-18-2007, 05:31 PM
FireflyK's Avatar
FireflyK Offline
Five by Five
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Under your bed
Posts: 4,290
Send a message via AIM to FireflyK
Default Re: My beginning

Introduction: While you do have somewhat of an introduction, with you talking to your mother, you should try to put a little more information in this. How old is your character? Why does he want Squirtle?
A story should begin by trying to address the 5 W's- Who, What, Where, When, Why (And sometimes How).

We get who (Your trainer) but not his name.
We get what (He's going to go get a pokemon).
Where is somewhat answered, in his home, but where does he go after that? Where is the trail? What does it look like? Always try to describe changes of setting.
When is answered, we know it's morning. However, his age isn't given. This may seem more like character information than a when, but it does help set the story's timeline, by basing it around your character.
Why is also left unanswered. Yes, he wants to be a trainer... But WHY does he want to be a trainer? What is it about training that draws him to that instead of, say, breeding, or entering contests? Or a career in something else entirely, like, say architecture?

Try to answer these questions. ^_^ Also, you might want to add 'How' later on. How is to the five W's as 'Y' is to vowels. It's not always a vowel, but sometimes, having it as one helps things along. ;) Remember to include how he found Bulbasaur, and how he fought it. Having the grass type just leap out of nowhere (Are there trees? Bushes? A huge cave? You didn't describe the setting, so we don't know where the Pokemon came out of!) is not very exciting.

Finally, try to Show, instead of telling. Instead of this: I was thinking about slowing down but i was scared Bulbasaur would make a suprise entrance.

Try something like this:
'Boy, I wish I could slow down!' Trainersname thought, 'I'm so tired... But what if Bulbasaur starts chasing me, and catches up? Grass types might not usually be fast, but this one was pretty speedy earlier when I was fighting it.'



Plot: Your plot could use a bit of help. ^_^ A boy gets his first Pokemon, then finds another Pokemon... Try adding something in. Does Squirtle sniff out Bulbasaur? Or, is Bulbasaur chased out into the open and into your character's line of view? Maybe another trainer is after it, or a stronger pokemon wants to attack it, or maybe even Team Rocket scared it.


Grammar: This, also, needs work. Please use a spell checker! It would help a LOT. Also, remember to put speech in "", and thought in ''.


Overall:
Bulbasaur not captured. Sorry, but this story needs a bit of work, and some more length, to be a capture.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-02-2007, 12:56 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

I looked at the bulbasaur and returned squirtle."Just not good enough Bulbasaur.Sorry."I said as i walked off.The bulbasaur must have left because it wasn't following me.I decided to go back home.While i was in pallet town i got my trainer card with ALL my stats.
Name:Brandon

Pokémon:squirtle

and age:12



After i was chipper i walked through gigantic forest.I was walking and a caterpie inched out into the clearing.It looked at me but looked as if it didn't wanna fight.So i yelled,"squirtle lets go now!"And the little blue Pokémon came out in a blast of red light from the crimson sphere."Squirtle use tackle and try not to miss!"i ordered and squirtle flew at the Caterpillar Pokémon.


Squirtle came back to me.And caterpie seemed to be fine and dandy so i ordered squirtle tackle it again.After they collided a voice rang out."Team rocket is the shadow,look out!"The voice said as a man with green hair and a women with yellow hair came out of the shadows.I looked at them"Oh come on!I'm trying to catch a freaking caterpie here dang it!"They looked at me with a sarcastic look."oh we are veeerry sorry,we just don't care.So this squirtle is ours now!"The yelled in unison.


"Squirtle tackle that man!"I ordered as squirle ran torwards the man.The man laughed,"You think that will defeat us?That Pokémon is just a puny little runt-"He tried to finish but squirtle slammed into his face.Getting up,with a bloody nose,the man sent out a pokemon."Oh...whats that..."I trailed off as i brought out my pokedex.

POKE DEX:"Charmander,the salamander fire type.It uses it's tail to knock foes down and then uses it's flamethrower to burn the opponent.The fire on it's tail is a sign of life.If the fire were to go out,it's life would surely end."


I put the Dex away."Kay,squirtle hit it with tackle!"I yelled.I had barely finished my declaration when the turtle Pokémon slammed it's own body into the fire type Pokémon charmander.The man looked at me,"Charmander hit it with scratch!"The fire Pokémon lunged at squirtle."Squirtle dodge and use tackle!"I ordered.And squirtle did dodge.But it accidentally ran into a wall.So it didn't use tackle.

"Aww...use tackle!Give it all you you've got!"I screamed and it slammed itself into the charmander.Knocking it through the air into the man into the women and through the air.The women yelled at the man,"You idiot!We didn't even introduce ourseeeeelve....."A soft ping was heard during the process.I couldn't see them anymore so i sighed a sigh of relief.



I used a potion on squirtle as it came back to the battle with caterpie.The bug Pokémon had a concerned look on it's face.Probably scared of us from the battle that had just taken place.In spite of the fear,it charged squirtle."Ah!Squirtle use tackle!"I screamed franticly not expecting such a quick attack.Over and over again i ordered squirtle to ram the bug Pokémon.And over and over again they collided.And finally,after much fighting,the Pokémon fell to the ground,from past Pokémon experiences the Pokémon can still break free,even if knocked out."Gooo,pokeball!"I said as the crimson sphere transfered the Pokémon inside.I could only wait.......

ready for grading!!!
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-18-2007 at 03:02 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:58 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

Some how some way the caterpillar Pokémon known as caterpie broke out of the crimson sphere.Oh come on think Brandon,how could it have gotten so healthy all of the sudden?Wait!I remember!It has the special trait of shed skin.It shed the old hurt skin in the poke ball and got the strength to break free!I thought.



All of the sudden a net came out of the trees and ,during an awesome struggle,managed to get caterpie but not squirtle.Then two new voices rang out."Prepare for trouble,make it double top blast of at the speed of light surrender now or prepare to fight!Meowth that's right!"They all said in unison."Oh for the love of god himself can you people just leave me alone for one god forsaken minute????''I yelled franticly.




The culprits threw themselves out of the bushes,unlike the pair i last encountered.These people had red hair for the women,blue hair for the man,and a meowth."Ohh....i think that is a meowth.Let me see....."My voice trailed of as i pulled out my red pokedex once again.


The pokedex squeaked the words quickly with a a voice like it had a cold.


pokedex:Meowth,the cat Pokémon.It sleeps most of the day and prowls it's territory,eyes aglow.

The pokedex beeped and shut itself,so i thought that meant it was done.I put it away and turned to the people."OK,i just blew away a couple of freak shows with that very same symbol on your shirts.But theirs were black and yours are white.And one had a gravely voice with-"I tried to finish but the woman cut me off."OH i hate that casady and her side kick butch.I just hate em!!!"The girl screamed in anger.The man tried to calm her down.


"Now now Jesse you know we are better then them.Besides,we have this Caterpie,i think that is what this thing and or Pokémon is.And we are about to get a squirtle!"he said trying to cheer her up.I looked at them with eyes that happened to be bugging out at the moment."WHAT!???YOU WANT MY SQUIRTLE!??I'M ALL JACKED UP ON POKE BLOCK JESSE!!ILL SCISSOR KICK YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!"I screamed as me and squirtle ran torwards them.


They looked like they were reaching for pokeballs but they never made it.I came right up to the one called James and punched him in the face,blood spewing to the ground and around him.Squirtle had used the pause of motion of when i hit James to use tackle on Jesse,knocking her into the wall.James got up,blood tickling from his mouth and streaming down from his nose.By the looks of Jesse she wasn't even going to be able to move a few steps.She was holding her arm and blood was all over her clothes.


Squirtle looked at Jesse and was preparing for another tackle.Jesse looked up and saw squirtle plowing through brush and,by the commotion drawn Pokémon,almost right up to her.She screamed.And squirtle practically slammed into her face.Spinning her Three hundred and sixty degrees in to a wall.Shell fell down,"J...ja....james........"Her voice trailed as she landed face first into the ground,apparently unconsciouses.Meowth started dragging Jesse back to the big balloon but squirtle slammed into it while it wasn't looking.Knocking it off a small cliff,into a group of bedrill the bedrill used fury attack and knocked it around a little before leaving it there.


I was knocked down by James,having taken a few punches to the face and fighting for so long i was beginning to slow down.Then,by the grace of god,a gigantic rock came down and crashed into James's head.Knocking him down very quickly.I took this opportunity to order squirtle."Squirtle,Fight meowth for as long as you can,we have to win."I yelled,planting a few more punches in James.


Finally,after almost an hour after the beginning of the fight ,i knocked out James.I dragged him to his balloon.After i had gotten James and Jesse in the basket,squirtle was still battling meowth.I ran and skipped and hopped onto the Plato where they were fighting,fiercely."Squirtle!"I yelled as squirtle turned around i picked it up and and slung in to a far wall,the only way to protect it.At that moment meowth had been preparing for fury swipes.And i took the place of squirtle,taking the damage of the attack.I grabbed the cat Pokémon and ran with it in the air and super slammed into a wall,knocking it unconscious.


I ran over to the balloon,Pokémon in hand,and put it in there with the others.Letting th weights go the balloon drifted off.Away from this area for a long..long time.I walked over to squirtle who had collapsed.I used one of the two potions i had left.Recovering from using the potion it used the last one on me,for some reason it actually worked.So after we were chipper we looked for caterpie.And we looked.And we looked and we looked.It was almost dark when we found it wondering around.


It looked at us with a scared look.It was still hurt from our previous battle.I threw my last pokeball that transfered it inside,i tried to wait....
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-18-2007 at 02:58 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-05-2007, 12:36 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

Ready for the grading!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-05-2007, 10:57 PM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

My new color of talking and story writing is well.....this one.





The Caterpillar Pokémon broke out of it's crimson net.I looked at it for a few seconds then i busted out laughing.I laughed and laughed.My best friend squirtle,and the target of interest caterpie,looked at me with curious eyes.I finally stopped laughing and stood up."Caterpie,you were a lot stronger then a had expected.You broke out of my poke balls like seven times.Well,i guess I'll be seeing you around,well in these woods anyway.Bye!"I said as squirtle was returned into the crimson sphere in my hand.It locked it's eyes onto me until it was inside it's little red home.Caterpie watched as i waved and walked down the road.Considering it understood me i turned and saw it leaving.The potion squirtle had used on me only healed a few cuts and bruises.It didn't do anything for my weakness in the legs and arms.Fatigued from the battle with team rocket i weakly inched into the Pokémon center.Nurse joy started to greet me but all i did was toss her Squirtle in it's poke ball.Suddenly i heard screaming and a sharp pain go up my back.Poison barbs had lined up on my spine,causing extreme nausea and vomiting i fell to the ground unconscious.


* **



I awoke with a disgusting taste in my mouth.I sat up and started spitting out what looked like blue juice."Ugh!~What the heck was that crap?" i exclaimed feeling a two ropes of warmth come around my upper torso.A familiar voice rang out."Oh my baby he is OK!"My mother's voice declared.Between hugs and kisses i got a few words in."M-mom why am----i in--the--pokecenter??"I finally got in.My mother looked gravely at me."Our town......was attacked by thieves.The told us that they were team rocket.""Team Rocket!!??Mom,i beat up a few people from team rocket earlier today."I explained why i was taken down so easily in the center.




A few hours after the brutal attack my mom gave me some disturbing news.The Evil Team Rocket had stolen my squirtle,and most of everybody else's Pokémon to.All the Pokémon that were left was Miss Katchums Mr.Mime and prof.Oak's charmeleon.Who barely survived it all."That is it.Oak your coming with me now!"I yelled.And Gary,who happened to be in town,tried to walk away."Ohhh no twinkle toes,your coming to!"IO commanded.Gary started to protest but i cut in."Either you get your but over here or i will for you.We are going to assault team rocket.I will need every hunter"s gun,ammo,and camo.We need to do this!Chop chop!"I speeched as everyone,stirred by the talking,began getting their guns and bullets."Kay people,there are a total of one-hundred people here.We will split into five groups of twenty.Then once we get to our locations you will split into four groups of five.Let's move out!"I said,as the whole town.who were not injured,cheered.





WE arrived at the Rocket base.Using our Light indicators we flashed into certain spots to signal the infantry team.Which me and Gary lead into the heavily guarded base.I flashed my blue light to the yellow squad.Which indicated them to make their move on the eastern gate.There were a few gunshots and groans.Then a sound that could be only made by a thunderbolt.Then there was science.Suddenly a bright blue aura came around the east side gate.Obviously using Mr.Mime,The friendly women i once knew was turned into a army dictator.Blowing the gate five miles north and then shooting at the guards on our side,leaving us with an awesome opening.We used it to pick off the heavier armed Grunts to give the yellow team an advantage.They easily destroyed the opponents and secured the gate,letting us attack the guards up top.



As we came down i repeatedly shot at the gigantic office that the infamous Rocket leader Giovanni was being thrown a success party,UN-announced to our arrival.I busted through the doors to the main room where most o the UN-important Grunts were staying.I easily killed their defenses down to 0.So we used Mr.Mime to slam them into the walls,knocking them out.I ran up the stairs.Picking off every grunt that was a threat to me and my convoy.I finally made it into the office board room.Giovanni stood up.I killed all of the dangerous grunts and let the weak non-armed ones go.The Rocket boss pulled out a pistol and snarled,"Ill give ya a warning shot."And shot a bullet at me.It grazed my arm,making it trickle blood.I reacted."I'm not so generous."And i let a floury of shots come out of my guns.Brutally destroying the boss.


I ran over to the safe and used Mr.Mime's psychic to open it.I ran in and started using a vacuum to get the stolen Pokémon.We then escaped through the window and ran back to the village....The next day the yellow squad came bounding through the meadow."We did it!Woo!WE defeated the rockets!They are retreating!"They came screaming down and hugging one another.I thanked them and left after i got squirtle and a few pokballs.


I ran through the forest and tripped ovr what i thought was a rock but turned out to be a Bulbasaur.The same Bulbasaur that i had lost to a few days ago."Kay,here we go!"I yelled as Squirtle came out in a crimson blast of red light."Squirtle,you know the drill!"I said sarcastically.Squirtle and the bulbasaur rammed each other and fuaght for what seemed like hours.After it had turned dark i got out my flashlight,shining it around searching for the fighting Pokémon.Then a hard mass slammed into me and knocked me down.Of course it was Bulbasaur,who or what else would it be?And,unfortunately,i hit my face on the ground,spewing blood droplets every where on the ground.


Bulbasaur seemed like it was hurting pretty bad so i threw a poke ball at it.The round crimson sphere slammed into it's face then transferring it inside.I could only wait.
__________________

Last edited by red 23 blue; 03-06-2007 at 04:17 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-18-2007, 01:28 AM
FireflyK's Avatar
FireflyK Offline
Five by Five
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Under your bed
Posts: 4,290
Send a message via AIM to FireflyK
Default Re: My beginning

The last part of your story, in the blue font, is much better. You didn't fix the older parts, however.

Go back and fix up the other parts as you did the last one, please. ^.^ You're getting better! If you can just make the other parts like the last one, I will regrade this to a Capture. Just go through, spell check, space it out properly, and you'll be set.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-18-2007, 03:18 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

Woo i edited it!I hope i catch it.*begins to jump up and down on his heels*
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-18-2007, 03:21 AM
FireflyK's Avatar
FireflyK Offline
Five by Five
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Under your bed
Posts: 4,290
Send a message via AIM to FireflyK
Default Re: My beginning

You have improved most of this story a huge amount since it began, and improved the length considerably as well. You JUST made 20K, just enough for a Medium Pokemon.

This story was right on the edge of borderline... However, considering all the work you've done on this since the first grade, and that you are still fairly new to stories here, I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Bulbasaur Captured.

Next time, there are a few things you need to do, however. First, you need to run spellcheck on every part BEFORE you post it and are asked to correct it. Second, please try to be careful with your grammar. Finally, try to add a lot more detail. Tell us what things look like, sound like, and smell like. Give your Pokemon feelings, too ,as well as your trainer- Make their personalities vibrant and memorable. DO they have an odd quirk, or perhaps a bizarre phobia? Add something to them, spice them up.

Again, this was very close... But as there was definitely a LOT of improvement, I am gonna call this one as a capture. You showed improvement, AND dedication since this story was started back on the 6th of February and was worked on up until now. :) Keep up the good effort, and try to keep getting better.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-18-2007, 03:24 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

WWOOOOO!Thank you!WOOO I GOT a bulbasaur wooo!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-18-2007, 04:03 AM
red 23 blue's Avatar
red 23 blue Offline
Elite Trainer
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In masterball
Posts: 594
Default Re: My beginning

The pokeball let out a soft ping before it ceased it's shaking status.I stood up and walked over to the sphere and rubbed my eyes.I had actually cuaght a Bulbasaur.This was Squirtle's first ever wild pokemon encounter!I picked up the pokeball and started danceing to the festival music in the background.Celebrating my triumph.I began to turn around."Squirtle!Aren't you happy that we-"I stopped at the site of squirtle sleeping.Exuasted from the tiring battles it had today."It's ok squirtle,sleep tight.Becuase i'm determened to get a charmander tomarrow!"I exclaimed using my,inside voice.I returned squirtle and shrunk it's pokeball.I went to shrink Bulbasaur's pokeball but i couldn't find the sphere anywhere.Then,to my dismay,a low growling came from behind me.As i turned around i spotted the missing pokeball.Laying on the cold but soft ground.......opened all the way up.I quickly turned and saw my new Bulbasaur standing with a grim look on it's face.It charged but instead of hitting me it slammed into the Team Rocket grunts.The only ones with white shirts on.Sending them into a tree,then across a plain feild.Obviously un-able to move they just layed there."Um...nice shot bulbasaur.Thanks for the rescue...i guess."I said in a confused manner.





"Cater pie pie caterpie!"A small squeaking noise came from the tree Team Rocket had slammed into.In an instant the caterpie i had met earlier slid to the ground on some of it's own string shot.It looked as if it was going to take reveng on me for trying to catch it.But it used it's own string shot to pull up team rocket.The Bug pokemon seemed to be having trouble so i called out BUlbasaur and,who had healed magnificently fast,squirtle to help us pull team rocket out.Unable to perform this tidious task the caterpie let out a horrible shriek."CaterpieeeeeeeeeEeeEeEEEeeEEEeeeeeeEEEEeEe Ee!"It;s voice changing every second.Once it stopped.Loads and loads of wild pokemon began pouring out of the dense forest to help us.Before i knew it.The whole forest was swinging Team Rocket into a really high tree.Where it was most likely almost impossible to descend.



After thanking the Bug pokemon,A.K.A the whole forest,I set off to the next city.Along the way.I had Battles with many trainers and many Team Rocket platoons.Awesomely defeating most of the trainers.I earned some big bucks for,antidotes,pokeballs,and other useful items.It took quite a few dyas but i finally reached the city known as Pewter city.Home to the gym leader Brock.Well known around these parts.I went ahead and healed my pokemon.As you know i have still yet to find a Charmander.And/or pichu.I then came across a grassy grotto.Where lots of pokemon were said to reside.And,by the grace...of god,i was challenged.And by a charmander!It actually attacked me without being hesitent.Before i could even send out my squirtle it was shooting a crap load of the move ember at me.Using scratch,growl,and ember made it hard for me to get squirtle out of it's pokeball unharmed.Once i did...well.............the charmander was frustrated.It had been sent across the fields by numerous tackles.It bounced off of a gigantic rock and had a weak moment.Allowing me to throw my pokeball.Transfering it inside the ball.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com