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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-20-2007, 08:10 PM
munchlax2000 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
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Posts: 105
Default chronicles of Kane

Kane is a normal Trainer like everybody,but he's not out to become the best he just wants to catch them all.still very tricky.Kane wears a red shirt and shorts with red trainers and a blue jacket.His hair is black and has brown eyes.

Chapter 1 Charzay hooray!!!
Kane was out in his hometown of Fireific valley.FireificValley of course meaning volcanos at the peak of every mountain and houses in the shape of Fire symbols.Not to mention the Legendary hill at the end of the Valley.with lush green grass,fresh scent of the breeze and an amazing view of the Valley.
Better yet he would'nt enjoy the view alone,he'd have his ever faithful companion Charzay the Charizard.With a fiery tail and elegant wings,the lovely smell of burning fire and the occasional sound, that sounded a bit like
Charrrriizzaar!After admiring the lovely view of the valley from Legendary Hill, Kane went home to get some rest, for tommorow he's going on a capture quest where trainers of the fireific valley,could get the amazing chance to go to the fire safari,where fire Pokemon are spotted, and could then capture and keep there Pokemon forever.

'THE next morning'
Chaaarrriiiizzzaaarrr
as Kane woke up he started to feel as he would capture something today then he remembered, it was capture quest day.So Kane was ready preparing Charzay for the quest."Flamethrower, hit that Breloom!" and Charzay did that and almost knocked Breloom out,But no Breloom stood its ground and managed to keep up,
Breloom let out an outstanding focus punch knocking Charzay off its feet and tremendously,smashed Charzay to the floor and knocked it out.

"Oh no" Kane screamed in fear "Charzay say something......Charzay,Charzay,Charzay"

Charzay could hear the screams they seamed to have been becoming clearer,Charzay thought.
Charzay was thinking about the capture quest what if he'd let Kane down by beeing beaten by, by, a grass pokemon
When i'm a fire type.He began to think,"i did my best", i tryed so, no matter what, he can't punish me?"
Charzay began to wake up, he was in his bed at home, when Charzay had realised the time it was almost time for the quest.

"Hey Charzay, are you okay enough to battle in the quest?" Charzay for a second, just looked at Kane for a brief moment.And then let out a, huge, mighty roar which Kane had never heard before.

"Charzay does that mean you can compete in the quest!"
*Charzay nodded*
that's the spirit, we can throw the pokeballs and catch the pokemon.

thats chapter 1.is it any good
no grading yet
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Last edited by munchlax2000; 03-20-2007 at 08:45 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-21-2007, 02:12 PM
munchlax2000 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: wailords digestive system
Posts: 105
Default Re: chronicles of Kane

So after a convincincing and encouraging discussion,they ran as fast as they could to get to the quest before it began.They arrived just in time,and did'nt start untill they got their fire balls,from registration.

After recieving the fire balls, they decided to start and look for some Pokemon.
In the first few hours that appeared to seem like years,they did'nt find anything but all of a sudden Charzay called for Kane,they had spotted a mysterious shadowy aura, it was a fire type pokemon,Kane could see the fire it was breathing.
The aura began to fade slightly more every second untill, the pokemon launched itself right at charzay.

" FLAREON"he said in a stunned tone.Kane was in shock,a legend to his village,Flareon,the flame pokemon.

The reason it was a legend to his village is one word FIRE!there was once a trainer who lived in Kanes village and was the greatest trainer in the valley,with his closest and dearest companion Flareon.

Chapter 2.capture!or is it?

Kane and the Flareon were about to begin their battle.
Flareon went first,and launched a spine chilling glare and immobilized charzay,and it was about to get worse, Flareon launched a stunning,beautiful,
but vigorous Flamethrower.
Luckily just before it hit Charzay was given a full heal by Kane, and that un-paralyzed it.It managed to dodge the Flamethrower and launch an unbelievable, tremendous, outstanding Fire blast which knocked out the Flareon.
A fire ball was launched it flew through the air sucked up flareon
it wiggled once twice and it was..........................................

please be captured
ready for grading chapters 2 (including first post)
pokemon for capture :Flareon
characters (including first post) probably about 2k
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Piplup: 51

Hatches @ Post 66
Prinplup @ Post 99
Empoleon @ Post 159
Level 100 @ Post 351
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  #3  
Old 03-21-2007, 07:33 PM
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FireflyK Offline
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Default Re: chronicles of Kane

This isn't even enough for a real grade.

Before you post something as ready for grading, read the guidelines. Read the thread on writing a story, and also the one on the LENGTH limit. A flareon is a DEMANDING Pokemon, and requires 40K+. You have only 2K. That's not even close to long enough.

Try writing for something easier, if you don't want to write 40K. Eeeve, the Pre-evo of Flareon, is only a Medium Pokemon. It requires 20-30K to get. Perhaps you ought to try for Eevee instead, and evolve it through battling and the fire stone.

Or, you could indeed try for Flareon... With a story of the proper length. Even a Caterpie takes a full 3K, not just 2K.

There really isn't enough of a story here to comment on... If you want Flareon, please lengthen this significantly, add a plot, and fix your grammar and spelling. Flareon not captured.
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