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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #31  
Old 10-16-2009, 08:03 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShionRasenka View Post
A waterproof iPod.... Now I've heard just about everything.... I don't really see the point of a waterproof mp3 player. You need to either swim OR sit on the beach or whereever and just listen to ur music. I personally wouldn't want to listen to music while swimming.... too distracting XDDD
LoL, yeah. It'd be nice if you were just relaxing and floating around. I wouldn't mind it then. Man, I can't believe how random that got . . . X D

Hm . . . It's friday already. Guess I'd better put up another chapter. ^^

-----

Chapter Two: First Steps

“How does it look?” I asked my two Pokémon as I held out my prize, its black metal glinting in the desert sun. The pair looked up from the passenger cart and eagerly responded with their cries. Yin sent his emotions through telepathy, and I could feel his joy as if it were my own. They might have been over-enthusiastic, but they were celebrating more than just my self-rewarded trophy. I had driven the runner far from the hideout, stopping at a well-known gas station and food joint known as the Outskirt Stand. Here, they knew that they were about to enjoy a rare treat. This place sold the best Pokémon food around, and today I was going to buy them as much as they could eat.

After filling up my runner, I placed the gas pump back into place and turned to the Stand. The building was actually a tarnished old train engine that had been remodeled into a restaurant, its property framed by rustic wagon wheels buried in the ground to serve as fences. Oddly located, the Stand seemed to just pop out of the desert from nowhere. This place, however, was the last chance for travelers to fuel up before crossing Orre’s grand desert. It was difficult to find, but somehow the Outskirt Stand received a decent flow of customers.

“Come on, boys,” I called to my Eevee evolutions, and they hopped from their cart to my side. A small gust of wind whipped some sand across the Stand’s parking lot, causing the well-worn sign hanging above the door to creak and sway. The place looked like a dump, but Orre was one of the more impoverish regions of the world. There was no doubt the owner of this place couldn’t afford any repairs to the outside of it. The only thing maintained was the ramp leading to the train’s door, but looking at it now I could tell that it was about due for replacement. Still, beggars can’t be choosers. I was going to listen to my stomach, not my eyes.

A junky green hover-truck was parked right in front of the ramp. Inconvenient, but the drivers probably could have cared less. For a moment, I thought about jumping in and moving it myself. Whoever owned this had carelessly left the keys in the ignition, and a good-sized sack in the back. Then again, both items were probably worthless. The vehicle looked ready to just fall apart. Sighing, I went to move around the truck just as two young men began walking down the plank. Both were strange-looking, but I had seen stranger characters. One of them had spiky, flame-colored hair above his blue, oval glasses. In his tank-top, he was tanned by obstinate desert sun. His companion wore a peculiar, ‘m’ shaped hat, and was constantly slouching. I stopped to let them pass, but overheard their conversation.

“That place is a dump, but they sure know how cook,” the hat-less one said, patting his stomach in emphasis.

“I’d say,” the other answered, smiling with deep satisfaction. “I think I ate too much, though.”

“Yeah, you big pig,” he punched his friend in the shoulder. “I’ve never seen anyone devour grease-bucket junk as fast as you! But you know what? We deserved it.”

The other rubbed his arm, but laughed. “Especially after a mission accomplished, right?”

Fire-hair laughed with the same, dark humor. “Naturally, we had to reward ourselves. But if you thought that this was a great, wait until the Boss sings his praise.”

“Life just keeps getting better and better.”

I raised my eyebrow as the pair jumped into the poorly parked vehicle and took off. Figures.

“Esp?” Yin placed his paw over boot, and sent me a feeling of hunger. I looked down and smiled at him and Yang, then proceeded into the train without thinking much about those two men. Inside was poorly lit, but as my eyes adjusted I could see how dusty and smoky it was within. The smoke from the kitchen was poorly ventilated, escaping into the front to plague the customers, and it mixed in with the sand that always seemed to find its way into everything. I held back a cough and quickly took a seat up at the bar. Yin and Yang curled up around the seat of my stool, warily eyeing the other customers in the room. Conversation was mostly quiet, masked by the sound of a television flashing various commercials.

The bartender, a sturdy man whose head almost touched the ceiling, finally took notice of me. I wondered why such a man would be working here, but I couldn’t assume much. Most folks had to find work wherever they could find it. I knew that as well as anyone. Taking a good look at me as he passed me a menu, the man asked in a rumbling voice, “What would you like to drink?”

“Just water, please,” I answered quietly, and the man speedily filled the order, filling the cup up with more ice than liquid. Just as I lifted the cold glass to my lips, the television suddenly sounded off a news broadcast. Everyone turned their heads to watch as a young lady with an excited expression appeared on the screen.

“We interrupt your broadcast to bring you breaking news! Just minutes ago, a mysterious building within the confines of Eclo Canyon was suddenly demolished by a series of explosions. Though the cause of the explosion is still under investigation, authorities have made a stunning announcement concerning the building itself. Apparently, this had once been the location of Team Snagem‘s hideout, a notorious band of thieves who are charged with crimes of theft and Pokémon abductions. However, this discovery was made long after the explosion happened, and when Police arrived at the scene the building had been completely abandoned. Authorities have not released any more information on the matter, but they assure that the cause of the explosion will be solved soon.”

As the broadcast ended, the restaurant erupted in hushed whispers. With my cup still raised to my mouth, none of them could see the smirk on my face. Well done, Wes, I congratulated my self. No evidence had been left behind, and the Snaggers had abandoned the place. Hopefully, that had been the end of them.

“Serves them right,” I heard a conversation between two men to my right.

“It’s just so odd, though,” his friend claps his hands around his drink, staring out the window. “I wonder what happened.”

“I don’t. If you asked me, it was a pity that those criminals weren’t blown up as well. Do you know what they do?”

“Of course.”

“They steal Pokemon, right from under the noses of trainers,” the one continued, regardless of what the other man had said. “I know someone who had it happen to them. He was battling with one of them Snaggers. The battle went about like they usually do, but when his Pokemon were weakened the Snagger threw out some Poke Balls. These weren’t no ordinary Poke Balls, mind you. They were those special Snag Balls. Before he knew what was happening, that trainer’s Pokémon were sucked into them and carried off.”

“That’s got to be hard, losing your Pokémon like that,” the other man took a long drink.

“Yes. The man I knew is hardly himself anymore. That’s why I say, ‘Good riddance!’.”

I frowned and placed my own cup down on the counter, troubled. What if I had been that same Snagger? How would that man reacted, knowing that an old Snagger was sitting right next to him? How would he treat me if he knew I was responsible for ruining not only the life of his friend, but countless others? All this hate this man felt, no matter what I had done or will do, would always be fixed on me. Of course I never liked what I did, but I couldn’t hide the shame and regret that welled up within me.

“So,” a voice interrupted my thoughts, and I looked up to see the burly bartender. “You must be new to these parts. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”

“Yes. I’m just a traveler,” I chose my words carefully, trying to use what little truth I actually had.

“Where you from?” the man was trying to be polite, but I wished that he would just take my order and leave. Now I definitely had to think up a lie.

“Down south,” I tried to be vague, and not draw too much interest.

“Ah, I see,” he nodded, and to my relief he didn’t press the matter further. Instead, he finally took my order and walked back into the kitchen. That was close, I leaned against the bar. I knew that I needed to come up with a better story than that, though. Just being a man from down south wouldn’t get me very far in other conversations. Exhaling a weary sigh, I looked back around the old restaurant. There was a jukebox at the far end, but the machine must have been out of order. Instead, the background music consisted of the blaring commercials from the fuzzy television set. The light fixtures overhead were tacky and small, being as bland as any other décor in the room. Booths were lining the one side of the train, but at the farthest one sat a Rider with pink hair. He seemed to be staring intently at me and my Pokémon, but I tried to ignore his gaze. Still, a little bit of panic flared up within. Why was he looking at me like that? He didn’t recognize me, did he? The restaurant suddenly felt much darker and less friendly. Maybe I had made a mistake coming here. I was out of my old uniform, and I thought that I was well disguised. But what were the chances of someone I had ran into from before seeing though it?

My uneasiness was erased by the arrival of my meal. Yin and Yang suddenly hopped up onto the bar stools next to me, their mouths watering at the appearance of the food. The bartender just laughed and scooted some dishes of feed towards them, not minding at all having Pokémon at the table. They eagerly dug in, ignoring the stares from the other customers.

“Man, they’re eating like it’s their last meal,” the bartender teased, refilling my glass. I offered a polite chuckle, then started enjoying my own meal and savoring every bite. The meat melted into my mouth with perfect flavor, and the roll’s soft texture was scrumptious. Perhaps I was exaggerating, but everything seemed to taste much better, especially after all that I had accomplished today. A poor man’s ration would taste like a king’s feast to me right now.

After I finished, a voice with a southern drawl startled me from behind. “That’s some impressive Pokémon you have there, stranger. I reckon that you must be a pretty darn good trainer.”

I turned to see the pink-haired Rider I had seen from the back of the store looking over Yin and Yang thoughtfully. When had he approached me?

“I’m reasonably good,” I answered carefully, unsure of where this man was going with this.

“Name’s Willie, by the way,” he smiled slyly as he reached out to shake my hand. “You new to these parts?”

“I’ve been here once or twice,” I shrugged, but still felt tense inside.

“Then you must be one tough customer to make it back in one piece,” the Rider crossed his arms and leaned against the bar. “Orre’s a rough place, but then again, you‘re probably just as tough. I’d reckon I wouldn’t stand much of a chance ’gainst ya in a battle. But you know? I think I’d like a challenge. Whadda say to that?”

Suddenly, I felt a warm wave of relief wash over me. I should have known better. All that this man was looking for was a battle. Hmm, a battle. Looking over at Yin and Yang, I saw their ears perk up at the word, and I smiled. A battle sounded like some good-natured fun. Why not?

“Let‘s do it,” I accepted his challenge as I set aside my fork.

“And that’s what I like to hear. Meet ya’ll outside, hear?” With that, Willie excitedly clonked his way out of the store, his cowboy boots and stirrups making a ruckus against the tiles and wood. I quickly paid for the meal, thanked the bartender, and followed after the eccentric rider.

“Kick it into full throttle ‘cause Willie’s on the loose! Yeeee-haw!” Willie was shouting as he waited for me in the sandy parking lot. He had two Poké Balls in his hands, tossing them into the air expectantly. A goofy grin was spread across his face that told me how much of a country boy he really was.

“Are we really battling this guy?” I whispered down to my Pokémon, to suddenly receive bubbling amusement from Yin. Without anymore hesitation, I jogged down the ramp towards him.

“Ready, partner?” Willie asked, catching his Poké Balls.

“Whenever you are,” I nodded to Yin and Yang.

“Let’s roll!” shouted the exuberant Rider as he released a pair of Zigzagoon. They jogged about his feet in a blur of brown and white, then turned to face my Eevee-lutions in hyper anticipation.

“Yin, Confusion!” I commanded, a feeling of excitement welling up within me. “And Yang, Quick Attack!”

The pair jumped into action, Yang disappearing in a blur while his partner’s eyes began to glow. One of Willie’s Zigzagoon, the female one, suddenly found herself flying through the air as the Umbreon appeared. Before she hit the ground, however, she found herself floating in the air. Glowing with an enigmatic pink light, the Zigzagoon helplessly flailed in the air for a moment, captive of my Espeon‘s psychic power. With a motion of Yin’s head, the opponent was sent flying into the other Zigzagoon.

Willie seemed impressed, even startled, but as he recovered he ordered his male Zigzagoon to make his move. “Quick, counter with a Headbutt on the Espeon!” The male Zigzagoon shook his dazed partner off of him, then raced in a zigzag pattern towards Yin. Having just broken his concentration from his psychic attack, Yin noticed too late and received the blunt force of the attack.

“Bite it, Yang!”

Swiftly, the Umbreon darted back to his brother’s side and threw himself at the attacking Zigzagoon to sink his teeth into its fur.

“ZAA-GOOON!” the tiny raccoon yelped in pain, and tried to bite back. Yang, however, kept him pinned to the ground.

Willie knew he was in a fix, but thinking quickly he shouted another command. “Pin Missile!”

The Zigzagoon’s fur began to glow at the tips, and suddenly they shot off like quills. Immediately Yang recoiled, rubbing his snout where the quills had pricked him as the Zigzagoon got back up on his feet. That was smart, I acknowledged with a chuckle. Who knew that this fellow could be resourceful? Still, I wasn’t about to let him win. Looking over, I noticed that Yin had shaken off the Headbutt attack and was ready for more action. And, he was close enough for a physical attack.

“Use Return, Yin!”

Getting back onto his feet, the Espeon focused for the attack. His body began to glow pink as he charged at the foe and landed a solid tackle. That had been enough for one of Willie’s Pokémon. The male Zizagoon fainted, and his Trainer regrettably recalled it. His only other Pokémon still looked dazed from the earlier attacks, but it was still on her feet. The Rider could surrender, but he didn’t look ready to back down yet.

“Come on, we can do this,” he tried to encourage the Zigzagoon, then ordered another move: Sand Attack. Dancing up to the opponents in the way of her species, the Zigzagoon skidded to an abrupt halt. Sand was sent flying into Yin’s face, diminishing his keen eyesight. I smirked, knowing that Willie had been looking to evening out the numbers. But I had a surprise up my sleeve. After one more command, this battle would be over.

“Yin, Helping Hand! Yang, Secret Power!” the words rolled off my tongue.

Yin stopped rubbing at his eyes, then began to glow yellow. The Espeon’s aura seemed to elongate and shift as it moved towards his brother. Yang was engulfed in the light, and as it seeped into his body he charged towards the opponent with a finishing blow. With the added strength, the move knocked the last Zigzagoon out. For a moment, all that Willie could do was stand there and stare in incredulity. Finally he remembered himself and returned his fainted Pokémon. Then, the Rider burst out laughing.

“That was quite the battle!” he managed to say between breaths. “You sure gave me a run for my money!” Walking up to me, he gave me a hearty handshake while the fit of laughter still gripped him.

“Thanks,” was my simple reply, but the man seemed intent on speaking more.

“You’ve got to be one of the toughest trainers I’ve ever battled. Are you on one of them League journeys?”

“No,” I knelt down and helped wipe the sand out of Yin’s face. “But I’ve been thinking about it.”

“Well, shoot,” Willie stuck a toothpick in his mouth, looking thoughtful. “Why would you be wasting your time here? League’s got nothing here.”

“Just business,” I shrugged.

“Well, since you’re in the neighborhood, I’ll swing this by you. There be a little old Stadium in the next little town here that I’d recommend ya visit. That’s were all the real competition is, and I’d reckon you’d get far there. What do you say?”

I looked up in surprise at Willie. I hadn’t really given it much thought about what I would do next. Somewhere, I had hoped that I could train my Pokémon freely now that I had quit Team Snagem. Maybe this was something I could do. Try my hand in a couple of Stadiums, then move on to the Leagues in the other regions. For the sake of keeping my facade up, I tried to feign ignorance. “What town is that?”

“Phenac City. Nice little place, with plenty of water to spare,” Willie chuckled at his own small joke.

Oh, yes. The famous oasis town. I had been there once or twice in my troubled past, but that part of Orre was a little more lawful then the rest. Phenac was there where most of the richer and cleaner citizens lived, some completely innocent of what went on elsewhere in the region. I enjoyed the peaceful feelings I got when I had visited that white city, though often times the reasons for my visits weren’t . . . well intended.

“Where is it?” I asked, making my interest obvious in my tone.

The Rider chewed on his toothpick with a wide grin, then turned his face to the east. “It’s ’bout a few miles that way. Hard to miss it. They‘ve got a nice Pokemon Center there, and a Mart as well. Even if you don‘t want to do the Stadium, it be smart to get over there anyway.”

I followed his gaze with a nod, saying, “I will have to go there. Thanks for the battle, Willie.”

“Yeah, you‘re just thankful ‘cause you won!” Willie laughed once again. How lighthearted and jolly could this guy be? “Good luck out there, um . . . Mr. . . ?”

“Wes,” I said over my shoulder as I walked towards my rusty desert runner.

“See ya around, Wes!” Willie waved. “I’ll want a rematch, someday? Hear?”

-----
And there's the end of that chapter. Oddly enough, that was one of the first battle scenes I've written for a long time. I think I'm still new to it, so how did I do? Also, this was the first time I had to more or less follow what had really happened in the game. Those of you who have played it: Did I do okay? I'm not following to closely, am I?

Last edited by Charmander009; 11-02-2009 at 09:50 PM.
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  #32  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:06 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

So now I've started on Character Profiles a bit. Here's our hero:



I'll post pictures of some characters after a new chapter, and a link will be made from the first page, second post. I only have GIMP, so forgive me for the cheesiness. ^^'
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  #33  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:08 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Nah, you're following it closely enough but not too close. Enough to make Wes actually seem human, anyway XD

I wish Nintendo would put more backstory into their characters, but noooo >.>
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  #34  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:10 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Oh, that's good. ^^

Actually, I don't mind this Nintendo habit. It leaves me plenty of room to use my imagination. The only thing that bugs me sometimes is the main character's silence . . .
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  #35  
Old 10-17-2009, 12:17 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Well, true...but it'd be cool if the players could make up their story as they go.
Nintendo needs to make a Pokemon game where you can do whatever the hell you want (join evil team, become top breeder, etc.) and gain a rep based on that.

Reminds me of that quote from Victory Road in DPPt actually; 'One day, people are gonna run to the other side of the road when they see me. It's a goal I'm working on' XD
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  #36  
Old 10-17-2009, 02:12 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

I totally agree Michelle. Nintendo needs to make a Pokemon game where you can do whatever you want and become whatever you want. I'd like to become a Gym Leader, or an E4. That'd be so cool....

As for Nintendo not putting much or no background on their characters I agree with Charmander, I actually prefer that. Because then you can give the character your own personality and background. But I do have to agree, having the main character remain silent is pretty annoying. If the main character can't respond directly, they should at least list several responses to choose from.
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  #37  
Old 10-20-2009, 04:34 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
I like that idea, better. ^^ iSea . . . the waterproof iPod. X D (Now that's random)

Well, I'll explain Shadows later. You can tell him, Shell, in CC or something. ^^
Yay! MY ideaz better! *whacked* Oo

I was gone forever, so if anything was said in CC ... ... ... ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShionRasenka View Post
A waterproof iPod.... Now I've heard just about everything.... I don't really see the point of a waterproof mp3 player. You need to either swim OR sit on the beach or whereever and just listen to ur music. I personally wouldn't want to listen to music while swimming.... too distracting XDDD
Not to me, I'd love to have a waterproof MP3 player, I love swimming and I love swimming with music, but once you dip underwater, you can't hear the radio as well... u.u When I'm rich! I'll make them make one for me! XD
Zach: Retard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
LoL, yeah. It'd be nice if you were just relaxing and floating around. I wouldn't mind it then. Man, I can't believe how random that got . . . X D

Hm . . . It's friday already. Guess I'd better put up another chapter. ^^
Floating, I supose it'd be best for that...

New chapter!!? YAY! Unless someone replies to this before I'm finished reading, I'll edit this with a review.

EDIT:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Nah, you're following it closely enough but not too close. Enough to make Wes actually seem human, anyway XD

I wish Nintendo would put more backstory into their characters, but noooo >.>
XD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Oh, that's good. ^^

Actually, I don't mind this Nintendo habit. It leaves me plenty of room to use my imagination. The only thing that bugs me sometimes is the main character's silence . . .
I hate that too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Well, true...but it'd be cool if the players could make up their story as they go.
Nintendo needs to make a Pokemon game where you can do whatever the hell you want (join evil team, become top breeder, etc.) and gain a rep based on that.

Reminds me of that quote from Victory Road in DPPt actually; 'One day, people are gonna run to the other side of the road when they see me. It's a goal I'm working on' XD
EXACTLY! That's how it should be! It's funny, a few years ago, I really wanted to get a job with Game Freak and get them to make the Pokemon games better and allow you to truly have a unique character. XD I still kinda want to try to do that...

~~~

Anyhow, I like this chapter, after the dark theme of the first bits, it's good to add a little light-hearted-ness-stuff-yeah. :D Although in the next bits of my fic, I don't think it will be anything but dark. (Spoiler alert!) It's kinda hard to be light-hearted when you're killing a bunch of characters...

Last edited by Guard13007; 10-20-2009 at 05:21 AM.
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  #38  
Old 10-21-2009, 03:11 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Oh, thank you for the replies. ^^ I'm on the other side of the country (U.S.) right now, so I haven't been able to log in for a while.

So no one caught any errors? So far, not. ^^

Dark parts are the coolest . . .

But it is good to be light-hearted sometimes. It is more my style. Though Wes might find his world . . . *slapped*
Well, you'll see. ^^
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:12 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Oh, thank you for the replies. ^^ I'm on the other side of the country (U.S.) right now, so I haven't been able to log in for a while.

So no one caught any errors? So far, not. ^^

Dark parts are the coolest . . .

But it is good to be light-hearted sometimes. It is more my style. Though Wes might find his world . . . *slapped*
Well, you'll see. ^^
Oo Getting slapped? Why don't you use this? --> *blocked* What? Do I have to actually say a spoiler to make it work!? Well then, *:Spoiler Blocked:*... Where did I get that sign from again? I know I made some changes, where did I get it from though?

Lol, "...might find his world slapped..." XD

As far as errors, what's that? Didn't find any... /
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  #40  
Old 11-01-2009, 01:56 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Okay, I'm caught up now! Now things are starting to make sense! Still wish I had the game though. D=

First of all, typos I found:

Chapter One
Quote:
Orre is no man’s land, the roughest region in the Pokémon World. Most of this land is harsh, unforgiving desert and rugged land.
Land is repeated a lot, and kinda makes it sound funny.
Quote:
Even though they were Pokémon, they should me ways I could scrape by.
I think you mean 'showed.'
Quote:
As soon as I pressed in the button another loud explosion, this one bigger and louder
Again, kind of sounds odd when it's repeated. ^^;


Chapter Two
Quote:
I knew that needed to come up with a better story than that, though.
Should be an 'I' after 'that.'
Quote:
But what were the chances that someone I had ran into from before seeing though it?
This doesn't make sense...maybe change 'that' to 'of?'

So far, I really like this story. Everything is described really well and it's interesting to see Wes's thoughts about the different situations and his past. I like the way you describe the surroundings too-I could picture the Outskirt Stand really well.

As for the battles, the description is good for the most part but I think maybe you should put a bit more detail into the attacks, but the way you tell how the pokemon react to them is good. One thing I really think you should do though is show the emotions of the pokemon on both sides of the battle. They don't necessarily have to be described in detail-but little things in the middle of a battle that show a bit of how each pokemon is feeling and reacting to what's happening can make it more interesting to read, describe the personalities of Wes's pokemon more, and also make it more realistic by having the opponent's pokemon have emotional reactions to things, however small, just like the hero's pokemon.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing where this goes-the first two chapters were very interesting.
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Old 11-02-2009, 12:45 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Quote:
As soon as I pressed in the button another deafening explosion, this one bigger and louder
This would work.

Quote:
Orre is no man’s land, the roughest region in the Pokémon World. Most of this soil is harsh, unforgiving desert and rugged ground.
What ya think? ^^ These seem good to me, but what do I know? XD
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Old 11-02-2009, 05:16 PM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Oh, thank you all so much! See, I usually miss things like that (repeating words, ect.) I'll get those fixed soon! And thank you for reading ^^

@Scy: Wow, I thought I sucked at description. LoL, but I'm glad that you could picture the Outskirts Stand. I'll definately work on my battle scenes, too. Thanks!

@Guard: Excellent suggestions, Wattson! (terrible Sherlock reference) I think its great! I'll get those fixed. ^^
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Old 11-03-2009, 02:58 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
@Guard: Excellent suggestions, Wattson! (terrible Sherlock reference) I think its great! I'll get those fixed. ^^
*totally misses reference* Isn't there a Gym Leader called that or something? Oo

Excellent? ......... *dies*
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Old 11-14-2009, 05:01 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

Chapter Three: The Unexpected Hero

The wind ruffled through my sand-colored hair as the desert runner flew across the dry landscape. Yin and Yang sat in the passenger cart, scanning the horizon as carefully as I did. It was a dry summer day, and the sun beat down on our backs without restraint. Yet as we drew closer to our destination, the air began to cool as it sped past us. Suddenly, a splash of green and blue unfolded itself on the surrounding cream. As if out of nowhere, a lush and vivid oasis appeared before our eyes. The dense green foliage stood out like a sore thumb in the bland scenery. Even from here, over the roll of my motorcycle, my ears filled with a dull buzz of running water.

“And there’s Phenac,” I muttered under my breath, just as a white-marble wall rose up to meet us. Water was channeled along the top of it, serving to cool the air within the city a few degrees. However, those tiny rivers were nothing compared to what laid inside those walls. As soon as I pulled the runner up to the southern entrance, the buzz I had heard from earlier intensified into a roar from the waterfalls that crowned the city. All around in this miracle of a town was running water, crystal clear and ice cold. All of the white-walled architecture was centered on creating waterfalls or tiny rivers. The precious liquid ran across the rooftops of several homes, spilling into the street’s canals to flow towards the grand square. There, a fountain drew its strength and rose in mocking defiance to the desert. Beyond it, however, was the grand dome-shaped Stadium. From the way the water fell from its peak, it seemed as if the entire structure was made of it.

Every time I came here, I couldn’t help but be amazed by what I saw. By far, it had to be the most beautiful sight in all of Orre. No matter how much the desert struggled, nothing could mar this treasure. The citizens here were much different folk, as well. There was always a feeling of peace in the air, and tight friendships existed between each neighbor. Everyone here looked out for one another, and respected other beings. That seemed almost foreign in the world I grew in. What would it be like, I wondered, to have such a bond of companionship and trust? To know that there was always someone to watch your back, and to live without fear of betrayal? I loved my Pokemon, of course, but there were times when I longed for a more . . . kindred spirit.

A wave of uneasiness suddenly swept over me, and it took me a moment to realize that the emotion was not my own. Looking down, I noticed my Espeon sitting in the cart with his ears flattened against his head. His brother looked just as wary as well. What is wrong? I wondered as I slowly followed their gaze. Just as I pulled the motorcycle to a stop, I could see it: the same, junky, old hover truck from the Outskirt Stand. So those two boys were here. Confused, I looked back down at my Pokemon. What were they worried about?

“Come on, guys,” I tried to dissuade their questionable cautiousness. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

They didn’t seem as sure, but they finally looked away when I killed the engine. Slipping off my glasses, I patted off the sand from my coat and tucked my keys into my pocket. I couldn’t explain it, but I felt a new sense of independence. For once, I was doing something I wanted to do, and not following orders. Right now, I could choose just to sit around and watch the water flow from a waterfall, or I could choose to wander about for a little sight-seeing. In a way, I felt a little grown-up, and I liked it. With my chin up, I finally took my first steps into the city. Almost immediately, my passage was blocked by two familiar people: the rusty hover-truck’s owners.

The duo were struggling with the burlap sack I had noticed earlier was in the back of their vehicle. The one’s hands slipped and his end fell to the ground with a thump.

“Geez, Trudly!” his friend with the flame-like hair complained. “What the heck is the matter with you?”

“I’m sorry,” Trudly griped, and quickly picked up the other side of the sack. “It just slipped.”

“Butterfingers.”

“It’s not exactly easy to hold to it when she’s moving around, Folly.”

“If it weren’t for this ridiculous pit-stop, we’d have this load back at base before she woke up, wouldn‘t we?”

Trudly mumbled something incoherently, and then the bag suddenly jerked again. “She’s doing it again!”

“Will you just settle down? Do you want to attract attention to ourselves?”

My eyes widened with surprise. What the heck was going on? Did they have something . . . alive in that brown, burlap bag? The two didn’t notice that I was standing close by. In fact, they hardly seemed to pay attention to what was going on around them at all. I realized now why Yin had been suspicious. Something wasn’t quite right here.

Suddenly, a scream came from within the sack. “HELP!”

“Great,” Folly grunted, bracing his grip on the sack as it thrashed about some more. “Now we got another problem.”

“Told you we should have gagged her better,” Trudly rolled his eyes, but the motion finally made him realize my presence. “Er… Make that two new problems.”

Folly spun around and cursed. “I hate witnesses!”

Both of them suddenly dropped the bag, earning a loud complaint from within. Ignoring it, they turned to face me.

“What’s in the bag?” I motioned with a quick jerk of my chin, narrowing my eyes.

“None of your business,” Trudly countered, sneering from within his slouch.

“You got two choices, buddy,” his partner tightened his fists threateningly. “The first one is to just walk away and pretend like nothing happened. The other is to be wiped from existence. Your call.”

“And if I make a third choice?” I stepped forward, undeterred. I wasn’t sure what these two were up to, but I knew that there was a person in that bag. This duo were definitely kidnappers, and that was sure. I wasn’t about to turn my back on something like this.

I couldn’t see the man’s eyes from behind his glasses, but I knew that this Folly character was glaring. “I’d like to see you try.”

Both of us knew what was coming, and without a word we became locked in a battle. Yin and Yang jumped from my side, while Folly released his own two Pokemon. Two purple- and cream-colored rabbit creatures materialized onto the cramped battle field: Whismur. I just couldn’t help it; I busted out laughing. Was I really going to be wiped from existence by those things?

“Stop laughing and start battling!” Folly shouted, enraged by my sudden fit of humor.

“Told ya,” Trudly muttered eyes downcast.

“Shut up, you!” retorted Folly as he stomped his foot angrily. Then turning back to his Pokemon, he called out his first order. “Uproar!”

Both of the Whismur suddenly began howling on the top of their lungs like trains, the noise amplified by the walls and water. I fell back, covering my ears with my hands, while Yin and Yang flattened their ears and squirmed. Astonished, I wondered how such tiny creatures could create such noise. Yin and Yang would never be able to hear me over this ruckus. How was I supposed to give an order to them? Looking across the way, I noticed a small smile spread across Folly’s face. I had underestimated him, but I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

I could only think of one way out, and that was through Yin’s powers. I knew that he was still inexperienced, but hopefully he could extend his telepathy far enough to hear my thoughts. Listen, I pleaded in my thoughts. Light Screen! Use your Light Screen! I looked over at them, and kept repeating the command over and over within my mind. Yang winced in pain as he fell to his elbows, but his brother glanced over in my direction worriedly. As soon as his eyes lock onto mine, I knew that he had heard me. The red gem within his forehead began glow, and before long a transparent but clear barrier surrounded them. Yes!

I wasn’t protected from the sound, but now my Pokemon were. I saw them stand back up on their feet and shake their heads. Now, to mute those megaphones! Within my mind, I thought of another attack. Yin, have Yang use Quick Attack! Almost instantly, the Umbreon darted forward with a smirk on his face, a piece of the Light Screen moving with him. In a flash, one unfortunate Whismur was sent flying into the other, and the Uproar ceased.

“Ugh,” Trudly moaned, rubbing his temples. “My ears will be ringing for weeks.”

“What?” Folly turned to him, looking confused.

“I said I’m going deaf.”

“What?” Folly shouted a little louder, cupping his hand around his ears.

“THAT WAS A STUPID IDEA!” Trudly yelled at him.

“Hey, I know what I‘m doing! Whismur, Stomp!”

The only Whismur standing quickly jumped to attention, it’s beady eyes bright with fury. Bounding over to the Light Screen, it easily slipped through to pounce on the distracted Espeon. Caught by surprise, Yin found himself pinned to the ground.

“Good, now the other one. Use Astonish on the Umbreon!” came another order from Folly.

The other Whismur grudgingly got back up on his feet, and threw a punch towards Yang. The attack, however, didn’t seem to effect the Umbreon. The creature’s tiny fist froze on Yang’s fur, seeming to lightly brush through it. Blinking in bafflement, the Whismur sat there and stared up at Yang. My Umbreon rolled his eyes, looking both bored and annoyed.

“You moron!” Trudly scolded his buddy. “That’s a Ghost-type move! It doesn’t have any effect on Dark types!”

“Oh, and I suppose that you could do better?” Folly turned on him.

“Much, in fact.”

“Then why won’t you take over?”

“Look, just focus. Okay?”

“Quit nagging me like an old hag!”

I had enough of this nonsense. Without waited for them to resolve their pointless dispute, I shouted my next order. “Yang, Bite! Yin, Confusion!”

Yang clamped his jaws down on the Whismur who had tried to use Astonish on him; meanwhile the other Whismur was sent sailing back from the barrier.

“What the-?” Folly spun around, finally remembering our match. “Now look what you did!”

“Well, if someone had been paying better attention,” Trudly shook his head.

“If someone hadn’t been griping in my ear . . .”

“Seriously, you’re embarrassing me. Battle!”

“Sheesh, whatever. Okay, Whismur! Gang up with pound on the Umbreon!”

The two Whismur flung their rabbit-like bodies at Yang, who coolly waited until the duo was threateningly close. Then within mere seconds, he disappeared into thin air. Folly’s Pokémon ended up ramming themselves into the hard ground, with mouths full of dirt. Yin, meanwhile, surged forward with his body glowing pink and knocked them back in a Return move. The attack was followed up with Yang’s reappearance and the conclusion of his Quick Attack. Finally, the two Whismur were knocked out.

“Way to go,” Trudly grumbled, sticking his hands into his pockets.

“I blame you,” his companion stabbed a finger in his direction, and then stiffly returned his fainted Pokémon. Then, with his chin held defiantly, he turned back to me. “You were just lucky, that’s all. I didn’t have my strong Pokemon with me, anyway. Next time I see your face, you better start praying for mercy!”

“Lucky or not, I’ll have a look at that sack there,” I stepped forward.

“Over my-,” Trudly began, but Folly suddenly stopped him.

“Wait a second . . .,” the flame-haired boy scrutinizing me closely. “You look familiar.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, the old fear of recognition surfacing again. How did I look familiar to him? I had never met this guy before. Maybe he was just referring back to the Outskirt Stand, but then again they hardly gave me a glance when they walked by.

“Hmm, you’re right,” Trudly joined in staring, but then his friend’s eyes widened.

“He’s a . . . Snagem!”

“What’s going on over there?” a voice interrupted, and we all turned our heads to see a young man and a woman making their way to the gate. Apparently, the noise from the battle had attracted their attention.

“Shoot!” Trudly cursed as he span around. “What do we do now?”

“What do we do? What do you think we do?”

“HELP!” screamed the voice from within the bag. “Someone! Get me out of here!”

“Gaw! We blew it!” Trudly grabbed the top of his hat as if to pull it over his face.

“Run, you dingbat!” Folly smacked him over the head, and raced off through the gate.

“H-hey! Wait for me!” Trudly stumbled, then took off after his partner in crime, leaving me behind with the bag. The approaching citizens broke into a run, but by the time they arrived at the scene, Trudly and Folly had vanished.

“Stop!” the young man gasped for breath as he came closer. He was dressed in sweaty work-out clothes, and looked as if he had run just a little bit too much. The brown-haired woman that followed him struggled in her high-heels, hugging a small pink purse close as if she feared that it would be stolen.

“S-stop . . .,” the athlete repeated, though his voice was weak as he tried to catch his breath. He bent over, leaning on his knees, and shook his head. “Saw . . . the whole . . . thing . . . Too bad . . . they got . . . away . . . Phew!”

“What an amazing battle!” cheered his friend, clapping her hands together.

“Um . . . Hello?” came a smaller, quieter voice from within the bag. “Still in a bag here.”

“Oh my gosh! Is someone in that bag?!” the woman gasped, her hands flying to her face in panic.

“Those two were kidnappers, weren’t they?” said the man as he straightened his back. After a solemn nod from me, he wandered over to the sack’s side. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you out . . . Maybe . . .”

“Maybe? What the heck do you mean about maybe?” the sack demanded in distress, despite the athlete’s attempt at remaining collected.

“Well, it’s just that this knot is so tight.”

“Am I going to be stuck in here forever?!”

“No, no! We’ll find a way. Just stay calm!” But by now he sounded worried.
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Old 11-14-2009, 05:03 AM
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Default Re: Purified (PG) [Chapter Two Posted]

I had hung back, uncertain of what to do now. I was debating about just sneaking off, and leaving these two to help this kidnapped girl. I couldn’t leave now, however. Those two had no idea what to do with the struggling sack. Blowing the hair out my face, I walked over to his side.

“Let me help,” said I, and the athlete immediately backed off as I looked over the sack. Well, he was right about one thing, I noted. The mouth of the bag was sealed with a tightly knotted rope that stubbornly wouldn’t budge. Still, maybe I figured that I could loosen it with a few tugs. Grabbing one end of the rope, I yanked back as hard as I could. Nothing. The knot didn’t slacken any at all, but I could be just as stubborn. I repeated the motion again and again, until I finally made some progress. Gradually, the knot loosened until I could finally undo it. The sack suddenly fell away, and I found myself staring into the biggest blue eyes I had ever seen.

“Hallelujah!” cheered the young girl in triumph as she stood up and stretched. She looked like she was around my age, with pale skin, red hair pulled up into pig-tails, and a nearly bleached Levi jacket on. “I thought that I’d never see the light of day again! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I stumbled back, surprised by her abrupt but animated outburst, but she just looked around her surroundings.

“Where on earth did I end up?”

“Er, you’re in Phenac City?” the woman, wearing bright pink dress, answered in confusion.

“Phenac? Where is that?” the young girl turned to her with a confused frown on her face.

“It’s in eastern Orre?” Again, the woman seemed uncertain about her answers, her voice rising up in a question. What, did she find it so hard to believe that this young lady had no idea what happened to her? From the looks of it, she wasn’t from around here. I couldn’t help but wonder what she’d be doing here, myself.

“Are you okay, then?” the athlete interrupted, scratching the back of his head tentatively. “Those thugs didn’t hurt you, did they?”

“I think I’m okay,” she looked over herself, as if to make sure. Finding everything in one piece, she breathed out a sigh of relief. “Man, that was sure a heck of a day. Thanks for saving me!” Her face lifted up in an all-consuming beam.

“Actually, this guy here did all the work,” he laughed weakly, his hand still behind his head.

“He did?” her face turned back to mine. “Well, thank you so much . . . Um . . . What did you say your name was?”

I blinked, and then finally understood, “I’m, er, Wes.”

“Wes, huh? Nice to meet you,” she giggled like a little child. “If it wasn’t for you, who knows where I’d be now? My name’s Rui, by the way.”

“Well, Wes,” the athlete cleared his throat, and shifted the weight on his feet. He looked as if he wanted to race off again, and probably hated staying still for too long. “I saw that battle of yours, and you are one heck of a trainer.”

“Battle?” Rui tasted the word thoughtfully, as if she had never heard of it before. Then suddenly, her eyes lit up. “You battled those kidnappers? Did they use a weird Pokémon?”

“Well, Whismur are kinda weird,” the man answered with a stronger laugh this time.

“No, that’s not what I mean,” she rapidly shook her head. “Did they have a Pokémon that looked different than others?”

“They looked pretty normal to me. Right, Wes?”

I nodded, but I was just as puzzled as he was. “Why do you ask?”

Casting her eyes down to the ground, she grew subdued and almost cryptic. In a voice that wasn’t as vibrant as before, she explained, “It just that . . . When I was in this other town, I saw these two people battling. And then . . . Well, never mind.”

The athlete and the woman exchanged glances, and I frowned.

“Something just isn’t right here,” Rui sighed, and shuffled her feet.

“I’d say,” the woman quickly agreed, puffing up as she grew angry. “This is just unacceptable! Kidnappers running around loose, stealing innocent people and stuffing them in bags! If I were you, I’d get over to the Mayor and tell him what happened to you! If there‘s anyone who could help you, it be him.”

“Mayor?” there it was again, the innocence in her tone as she repeated the word. “You mean the Mayor of this city? Do you really think he can help me?”

“Of course! He’s one of the kindest gentlemen in office I know. And there‘s not many of those around, today.”

“Okay!” her downcast spell suddenly seemed to lift, and she was back to her buoyant self. “Where can I find him?”

“He lives up the hill,” interrupted the athlete, jogging backwards as he pointed. “His house is close to the Stadium. Just follow the road running straight north after Victory Square, you know, where that big fountain is. You’ll see a two-story building off to the left up there, past the Pre Gym. And that will be it.”

“Awesome! Thanks!” she turned towards the city, but then paused in her steps. She spun on her heels to once again meet my gaze.

“Hey, Wes?” Rui sounded suddenly shy. “I might be pushy here, but I was just wondering: Can you come with me? It just that, well, I don’t have anyone else to turn to, and I don’t think it’s a good idea to wander off by myself again. What if those guys come back? Please, it will only be for a little while.”

“I, uh, had plans of my own,” I replied uncertainly, taking a step back.

“Oh,” she looked disappointed, but didn’t give up. With her eyes cast down to her bright-pink sneakers, she pressed, “But . . . I promise I won’t take up too much of your time. I’m worried . . .”

I stood there for a second, unsure of how to respond. She was so . . . well, intense. I had never really known anyone with such energy and sudden mood swings. A part of me did not want to leave her helpless, though. It wouldn’t be right just to walk off on her like this. I doubted that any trouble would befall her here, but she wouldn’t think that way. This whole thing had probably been so traumatizing to her. There was more pressure, though, coming from the other two people who were staring at us. Okay, I told myself. Only for this. Then I’ll go my own way.

“All right,” I quietly agreed, but immediately regretted it. Rui suddenly lit up with a smile and clapped her hands together excitedly.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you, thank you, thanks! Now I don‘t have to worry about a thing! Shall we?” The girl suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me on, much to the amusement of the athlete and the woman. Even Yin had to make sure his laughter was heard, though his brother looked put off. The Umbreon couldn’t understand the way this girl acted. Yet he tolerated her enough to walk beside us as we made our way into the city.


*****


“Wow! This place is so pretty!” Rui slowed her pace as she stared in amazement at her surroundings. The road they were taking was leading to Victory Square, but it was framed by the white rectangular buildings and palm trees. At each one of those homes, the doors were painted a solid blue to match the flowing water about. The stones that made up the road were sand-colored, but smooth and cool to walk on. A few people were out walking, each enjoying the cooler environment they lived in. Occasionally they would give us curious, but sometimes suspicious, glances. Rui would then smile at them, casting away any doubts they had. The citizens here were naturally cautious against travelers, especially those from the more rugged and run-down towns. When they got closer to the fountain, more water was flowing down the side of the streets. Rui leaned over to watch the water flow by, then remarked as if I had no idea, “Look at all the water!”

I just nodded, still hesitant on how to respond to this girl. Her energy was still overwhelming.

“Where does it all come from? I thought this was a desert?” She looked me questioningly.

“Phenac is built around a natural oasis,” I shrugged.

“Cool,” she smiled brightly again, then seemed full of thought. “Have you been here before?”

“Once or twice.”

“So you know exactly where the Mayor is, right? Have you seen him?”

“Not really. But we’ll find his house.”

“Oh.” She seemed to squirm a bit as she searched for something else to say. I could tell that she was a little put off by how reserved I was. There was a type of irony I found humorous in that: she being just as uncertain around me as I was to her. Still, she wasn’t going to let that bother her too much. Glancing over her shoulder, she looked back at my Pokémon, who obediently followed from behind.

“So, do they have names? Your Pokémon?”

“Yes,” I paused a moment to introduce them. “Yin and Yang.”

“Like that Chinese thing? Neat,” she stopped in her tracks to lean over and stroke Yin’s fur. The Espeon was surprised and uncomfortable at first. But then I saw him relax and enjoy her touch. His brother stiffened beside him, his ears flattening in annoyance. If he could speak, I imagine he would grumble something about the odd human who had no common sense at all. When Rui finally reached out to pet him, Yang just moved away to retreat to my side. Rui frowned in disappointment, and I suddenly felt a need to explain.

“He’s a little less friendly,” but as soon as they were out of my mouth, I wondered why I bothered to tell her that.

“That’s okay,” she smiled and returned her attention to Yin, who had his eyes closed in contentment. All of his emotions were flooding into me, and the force of it was tremendous. If she didn’t stop that soon, I felt like I would burst.

Clearing my throat, I interrupted them. “Can we move on?”

“Oh, right!” Rui jumped up to her feet, not even noticing anything wrong. “To the Mayor’s house!”

Yin sat there for a moment, flicking his tail back and forth. I sensed from him a type of acceptance. Rui had completely won him over easily in a matter of seconds. When the girl marched on ahead, I turned and sent him a head-shake. She’s not staying with us, I directed my thoughts to him.

Disappointment flowed from him.

No, I urged.

Amusement followed.

I turned my back on him, ignoring his last sentiment, and followed the irksome child forward.
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