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  #1  
Old 10-14-2009, 04:56 AM
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Default Story Concept: Chronicals of the Sentinels

*Please do not steal*

Okay, so this is an idea that's been floating around in my head for a while. I'm working on two other stories, but I've been thinking about sharing this one: The Chronicles of the Sentinels. This story would revolve around a legend that I came up with that goes something like this (rough draft):



When life had just begun, it is said that Pokémon were originally the inhabitants of the land. They were the stewards and kings of its rich earth, vivid valleys, and deep forests. The sky, the earth, and the water belonged to them, and the elements obeyed their every whim. A time came, however, when strangers appeared: humans. These pioneers saw the serene beauty of the landscape, and a longing filled their hearts. All of them were searching for a new home, and now they had found a place far beyond their dreams.

However, many of the Pokémon did not feel inclined to share. In their pride and selfishness, they called up the Grand Council of Legends to judge the humans. Through much debate, observation, and struggle, the Council came to a decision. These first humans would be allowed to settle here, as long as they followed certain laws and requirements. First, they were to give the outmost respect for nature and Pokémon. Last, they were to give payment to the Legends in service. Out of every generation, seventeen humans were chosen to pay that debt, and were given the duty to protect and provide, watching over the balance of the world and give aide to those in need.

Everyone of those seventeen chosen were given a specific type, according to the powers of Pokémon: Grass, Fire, Water, Electric, Ice, Rock, Ground, Steel, Flying, Normal, Ghost, Dark, Psychic, Dragon, Bug, Poison, and Fighting. Afterwards they were given an incredible gift, a gift that would allow them to transform into a Pokémon of their type. They became a part of two worlds, both human and Pokémon, but part of niether. But their lives would never be their own. They lived only for the sake of others. Those seventeen, however, gladly did as the Legends asked of them. Humans, in turn, were allowed to inhabit the land.

After the first generation passed on, the Seventeen Sentinels passed their powers to a heir. The second passed as the first, and as did the few that followed. History passed on, and the torch was handed from one person to another. The humans, however, soon grew over-confident and forgetful. Within time, their solemn promise with the Council so long ago was lost in myth. The Sentinels continued their work in quiet resilience, and the Legends were momentarily pleased. But before the Great Ones could anticipate it, humans had come to inherit their world. Their own powers began to weaken as they lost control of their realm, and soon their only goal in existence was to keep balance and peace. These humans they had trusted, however, began to show their ugly side of nature.

Eventually, even members of the Seventeen lost sight of their glory. Many of them grew greedy and selfish with their power. In the darkest of times, a man named Marlan came to be the Sentinel of Ghost. He rose in rebellion to the old teachings and laws, and sought to use his gift only for his vile purposes. Delving deep into dark arts, he discovered a way to make himself as immortal as the Legends themselves, then founded an army in defiance to them. Only through the power of the Council, he was imprisoned and punished . . . But five hundred years after plotting his revenge, he escaped.




That's still a rough idea of the legend, and I'll improve it. But all in all this story would be about these human who can change into a Pokemon of their type. More specifically, the main character would be a young boy chosen to be the Sentinel of fire and his struggle to escape this Marlan guy.

Yes, it might be cliche to pick the ghost type for the villain. But there's a reason behind this. You see, Marlan can change into Spiritomb, thanks to the Sentinel gift. But when he changed back into a human, the Odd Keystone that makes up the Pokemon remained. After some experimentation, Marlan discovered that he could lock the souls of other humans within his Odd Keystone, since in the games it is said to hold spirits, and drain power from them. More importantly, he discovered that he could capture the souls of other Sentinel's with it, thus stealing their gift. Marlan then attempt to track down the other sixteen Sentinels and take their power for his own purposes.

The main character, which I will name Sawyer, is suddenly given the Sentinel's gift and must flee from him. I plan for him to go find other Sentinels, but I'm not sure what will motivate him to do so. I'm also not sure what kind of a character I want him to be: A bookish type who spends most of his time in a fantasy; or a fun-loving guy who lives from moment to moment, and cannot commit himself to the future. I'd appreciate any feed-back.

I also want to include just a tiny thing from one of the Pokemon movies. If I remember right, in the Sea Temple one there was talk about a tribe of people known as "the people of the water". I started thinking about it, and wondered if it could be a part of something bigger. What if there were two other tribes? The people of the Air and the people of the Earth? (After the Hoenn Legendaries, of course) The People of the Water were largely concerned with the ocean and Manaphy. The People of the Air would then be concerned for the quality of the air and work closely with Shaymin. (None would remain to the current time-frame) If I expanded on this, I would have the people of the Earth become largely concerned with the Sentinels or something.

Would anyone be interested in this? Do you have any feedback? I would greatly appreciate any input on this story. ^^
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  #2  
Old 10-15-2009, 01:16 AM
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Default Re: Story Concept: Chronicals of the Sentinels

My only doubt points to how the humans arrived out of thin air with no causation. A plothole like that could come back and haunt you later on in a story like this, so I'd really recommend to work something out that makes sense.

The concept of the Sentinels is pretty interesting, but it does seem like a lot of things very similar to that have been done already. Maybe play around with the idea a bit more, see if you can shape it into something that fulfills the story niche but seems a bit more unique.

Also, just as a word of advice to anyone starting a new story, try writing the first five chapters BEFORE you post anything. If you can do that, then you know you've got a story that has the potential to go places. If you have a lot of trouble getting your ideas out and/or they don't look as good as you originally intended, you might want to take a moment to step back and think things over again. Once you start posting, you can't go back and change things (well, technically you can, but your readers might start losing faith in the story if it keeps having to be changed around), so make sure what you have in the beginning is what you really want to work with. Without a doubt, the exposition pretty much defines the nature of the story's setting. Make sure you like it before you commit to it.
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:30 AM
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Default Re: Story Concept: Chronicals of the Sentinels

Hey, thanks for the reply. Thing's are a bit slow here . . .

Okay, so I didn't go into detail about where humans came from because I don't plan on ever expanding upon it in the actually story. I would think that it's irrevalant and distracts from the main story, but should I figure something out for it? I plan for this to take place thousands of years after the Council actually did all that, and so humans would have forgotten completely where they came from in the first place. In fact, only a few people even know about this legend, and that would be the people from the tribe I talked about.

If I might ask, what stories are similar to this? I certainly want to be as original as possible, and I had put some deep thought into some elements of this.

And that was wonderful advice. I wrote nine chapters in my other fic (Lunar Destinies) before I decided to share it, and I liked it for the reasons you talked about. I plan to do the same with this one if I ever get it all straightened out. So far, it ain't looking good. But I'll try.
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:43 PM
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Default Re: Story Concept: Chronicals of the Sentinels

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Hey, thanks for the reply. Thing's are a bit slow here . . .
Yeah, they are unfortunately. Seems like most of the people on this site are Role Players, artists, or are in the URPG, and aren’t really fan fiction writers. But I’m all for supporting those who are.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
Okay, so I didn't go into detail about where humans came from because I don't plan on ever expanding upon it in the actually story. I would think that it's irrevalant and distracts from the main story, but should I figure something out for it? I plan for this to take place thousands of years after the Council actually did all that, and so humans would have forgotten completely where they came from in the first place. In fact, only a few people even know about this legend, and that would be the people from the tribe I talked about.
Thing is, the legendary council that permitted humans to have this power and responsibility would see that its being abused, and because of that, a question of human integrity comes into play. Since you said yourself that humans are now showing their “ugly side of nature,” its clear the Council would be looking into the means to revoke the privileges they gave to humans, forcing them back to wherever they came from (at least some of the members would remember, since I doubt they would have all forgotten about something crucial). Even if this isn’t the direction you want your story to go towards, it doesn’t hurt to have another option open in case your story goes in a direction you later become dissatisfied with, and need a fallback plot direction to keep the story going. Trust me, I’ve had to do this sometimes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
If I might ask, what stories are similar to this? I certainly want to be as original as possible, and I had put some deep thought into some elements of this.
Well, I remembered RocketMeowth wrote a story where there were special stones for each of the types, all giving their own unique power, and I’m sure something similar has been done in multiple RPs before as well. Its up to you, though, if you like the idea and feel you can make a captivating story out of it, don’t let that stop you. I haven’t seen it done that many times.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmander009 View Post
And that was wonderful advice. I wrote nine chapters in my other fic (Lunar Destinies) before I decided to share it, and I liked it for the reasons you talked about. I plan to do the same with this one if I ever get it all straightened out. So far, it ain't looking good. But I'll try.
Maybe make a list of the things you don’t like about it, so you can really look at them and start thinking of things that can be done to correct them. Sometimes, just seeing the issue out in words can give you insight as to how it can be resolved.

And hey, don’t hesitate to ask people, including me. Writing is a great passion to have, and it helps even outside of fan fiction. Heck, I never thought continuing to write fan fiction would have resulted with me getting a perfect Analytical Writing Assessment score on the GMAT (even though my other scores were a little shabby), something that not too many people get.

But good luck with it, and its good that you’re willing to try your best.
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