Sorry it took me a while to get around to this. Anyway…
This story opened right into its plot. The “introduction” consists of just the first few sentences, in which the character introduces the setting of the story, and what he’s doing there. Then the Sandshrew appeared and we’re right into the plot. The introduction definitely did pull me into the story and make me want to read more, because I want to know who the main character is, and why he is in the desert. But most of all, it was your writing style that hooked me. You did a really great job of creating a mysterious, contemplative mood which, though it doesn’t tell me specifics about this character’s personality and his life, is very intriguing. For this story, I don’t see anything wrong with what you did in the intro. Good job.
Because this is obviously part of a series, and because it aims for a Simple Pokemon, I can understand why you chose to write a simple plot in this chapter. However, since I can only grade what’s in this chapter, and not what you’ve got planned for the rest of the story, I have to tell you that a battle between two Pokemon doesn’t really cut it as a standalone plot. You wrote the battle very well, but just having that wouldn’t have been enough of a plot for anything harder, probably. In the future, when you’ve got a story like this, that’s part of a series, it would probably be a good idea to include the next chapter with it. If you’ve got enough length in both chapters to catch the Pokemon you’re going after, then catching one of them in the middle of the story shouldn’t be a big deal, especially if it means that the entire story will have a developed plot, instead of submitting them separately, which can take away from both plots so that they’re kind of bland.
For a simple Pokemon, this was acceptable, I suppose, but like I said, anything harder and you would’ve failed here if the entire story was just one battle.
I already mentioned that I quite liked your description. The way your main character narrated actually necessitated such detail, because he was so aware of his surroundings. He seems like a psychic or something, which is out of the ordinary and definitely makes me want to learn more about who he is.
I do have one thing I’d like to point out to you:
The small creature landed on it's paws, the iron it was seemingly made out of sheltering it from the sandstorm that was brewing.
The bolded part of this sentence is very awkwardly worded, mostly because there are so many words. Sometimes, it’s best to find more concise ways of describing things, because it’s easier to read. Here’s how I think you should fix that sentence:
The small creature landed on its paws, sheltered from the brewing sandstorm by the iron plating on its body.
In grammatical terms, I think either way is right, but I believe my way sounds better because the verb tense of “sheltered” agrees with the verb tense of “landed.” Also, I took out the “it was seemingly made out of” part and replaced it with my own words because I couldn’t find a less awkward way of putting it.
For the most part, your description was fine.
Your grammar was great, except for one error that popped up multiple times, such as here:
The possessive of “it” is “its,” not “it’s.” That’s because “it’s” is a contraction for “it is” or “it has” so whoever is in charge of the English language decided we should avoid confusion between the two.
The only other grammatical error I found was this:
It's sharp claws had penetrating my Aron's iron defence
Since this sentence should be in the past tense, you should’ve written “had penetrated” instead of “had penetrating.” This was probably just a typo, but make sure to proofread so you can catch things like this.
It was actually a little more than you had thought, it seems. Fine for a Simple mon.
Method of Capture:
Obviously, this was a battle. There’s not really much to say here, because you did a good job on the battle itself. Each side used a variety of attacks, and it wasn’t too one-sided. Your descriptions of the attacks were detailed and exciting, and the battle took a reasonable amount of time to complete. For all practical purposes, this was a fine battle, I just wish there was more to the story than the battle itself.
Even though the plot was lacking, I guess it’s enough for a simple Pokemon, so Sandshrew captured.
However, if you’re next story is just another battle, there’ll be an issue. Since this is a series, I wanna see you build upon the character you created and the plot that you’ve opened up for yourself, because you haven’t really given any reason for the main character to be in the desert except catching a Sandshrew, and I highly doubt that’s what the series is based on. So, congrats, and keep writing.