I need reviews and comments and help

[Alpha Dialga]

I would like some reviews and comments on my story. Also, I need help in making some of my chapters longer especially chapter one and two.

Here is the link to my story: http://www.pokemonelite2000.com/foru...d.php?t=108770

[Jaylea]

Ok first I have to say that your "Chapter One" felt more like a great summary while your second chapter was more like a setting. I only read a few lines and I felt like that. You have the right idea of what you want to write you just have to get it down. Like I said you have a good idea that you can write you just have to fill it out. Try being more descriptive, show some thoughts and feelings.

[Teddiursa of the Sky]

It is great to see some new authors as well as more interaction here. I agree with Jaylea. Do not get discouraged though. It looks great! You should read Scytherwolf, Neo Pikachu, me, etc to get an idea of how to do it well. Remember everyone has their own writing style, try to be original!