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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 11-20-2005, 07:25 PM
Ketsune's Avatar
Ketsune Offline
Master Trainer
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Paradise island
Posts: 312
Default The many Pokemonelite2000 adventures

This is the Inuyasha episodes in my own version. It does NOT have anything to do with Inuyasha at all. Here are the first characters that will appear and here is who they represent:

Ketsune-Shippo

Kat-Kouga

Siako-Sango

Kannia-Kilala

Chapter 1: The beggining of an Adventure

A Golden Blonde haired Fox Demon ran through the forest. Behind her was a Dragon demon that swooped down after her." Ahhh!!! Somebody help!!!" The Fox Demon said with a screech of terror. The Dragon grabbed the Fox with his Tail and lifted her up to his face." You will pay for what you stole..." The Dragon snorted. Ketsune crossed her arms and smirked." SO I STOLE THE SHARD!!! BIG DEAL " Ketsune yelled bravely. The Dragon smirked and carried her to a dungeon and shackled her up. She had blacked out when she was in the air. Ketsune woke up and looked around were she was. She was a White cat demon in a cage." Kannia...Is-Is that..." Ketsune said." Meow!" Kannia said. Their were shakes in the ground and a Dragon Demon stepped into the room." Give us back the jewel shard or else..." The Dragon said." Or esle what!?!?!?!?!" Ketsune yelled.

The Dragon smirked flexing his claws. He walked up to Ketsune and began to knead her sides." !!! What was that!?!" Ketsune yelled. The dragon smirked. Then he clawed her chest." Ahhh!!!" She screamed." Meow!" Kannia yelled breaking the cage. She transformed into her saber tooth looking stage and jumped in front of Ketsune. She shot Fire at the Dragon which knocked it back." Uhhh....Uhhhh.... " The Dragon said. Ketsune opened her eyes for a second and looked at Kannia." K-Kannia...Y-You saved me..." Ketsune said before fainting. Kannia used her sharp teeth and put Ketsune on her back. Kannia ran out of the dungeon and flew into the air. Ketsune's tail moved back and fourth in the air.

When Kannia landed a girl with a boomerang on her back ran to Kannia and Ketsune." What happend!?!" The girl yelled. Kannia turned back to normal when the girl picked up Ketsune. Ketsune woke up an hour later." Mmmm..." Ketsune said. The Girl smiled." Hello, sleepy head. I'm Siako. A friend of Kannia's." The girl said. They heard a howl out side and a wolf Demon walked in." Give us the Fox!" The Wolf Demon said. Ketsune shreeked and jumped into Siako's arms." Who are you!?" Siako yelled." I am Kat, Of the Wolf Demon tribe. And you are?" Kat said." I am Siako." She said." I am Ketsune!" The Fox yelled. The wolf gave Ketsune a glare which scared her half to death. Siako got out her boomerang attempting to kill Kat." No Siako...It's me she's after and I wanna fight her..." Ketsune said bravely.

Kat looked suprised at the Foxes words accepted the challenge. Ketsune knew her life was on the line but her parent's were killed by wolf demon's so she desired nothing more than revenge. Ketsune got out 2 of her jewel shards and put them in her 2 arms and she got 2 more and put them in her legs. Ketsune grinned. Kat raised her eye brow and started to power up. Since Ketsune was strong because of the jewel shards she was ready." Kitsune Bi!" Ketsune yelled her body bursted into flames and then like a rocket shot at Kat. Kat didnt have time to dodge since she was powering up so she got knocked back and was paralyzed." Wha!?! What did you do to me!?" Kat yelled. Ketsune grinned." Don't worry its only temporary.

Ketsune was about to strike again when their was rumbling in the ground and a Dragon demon swooped down grabbing Ketsune." Ahhh!!!" She screeched. Ketsune bit the Dragon's tail." Lemme go, Lemme go!" Ketsune said. The Dragon loosend its grip after she bit em." Lemme go,Lemme go!...No! Dont lemme go! Dont lemme go!" Ketsune yelled when she almost fell. Siako jumped on Kannia and through her boomerang at the dragon making it drop Ketsune." Ahhhhhhh!!!" She yelled. Kannia flew into the air and caught Ketsune. When they landed a villager ran to them telling them Naraku was near. Then they all started up a mountain.

Siako shiverd at the sudden cold weather." Siako...You arent a demon...You can't stand the weather..." Ketsune said. Ketsune hopped on Siako's shoulder and lifts up her finger." Fox Magic, Coldness dissapear!" Ketsune said. Ketsune turned Siako into a Dog Demon temparaly. Siako smiled and continued up the mountain. Ketsune knew they were getting close because the wind was getting stronger as they climbed up higher. Ketsune got tired and needed a place to rest." Siako and Ketsune are already asleep." Kat said." Lets get some sleep ourselfs...We got a big battle tommorow..." Kannia said." Already?" Kat said not noticing Kannia was already asleep.
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Last edited by Ketsune; 11-20-2005 at 07:40 PM.
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  #2  
Old 11-20-2005, 07:52 PM
Kayden Javlaíakín's Avatar
Kayden Javlaíakín Offline
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Joplin, MO, USA
Posts: 1,519
Default Re: The many Pokemonelite2000 adventures

Meh. If it's your first try, it's all right.

But I suggest that you do NOT use smiles in a fic. Espessically when you can just describe the charecter's emotions.

Also, you really should tell this story in this format:

"Speech"

"Speech"

"Speech"

Action

"Speech"

Meaning that you should start a new paragraph every time someone speaks, and have a maxium of three dialouges in a row before starting an action.

I also noticed a few gramitcal and spelling errors.

Example: temporaly--->Temporarily

This is just another reason to use Word's Spell Check. Discription could be better too.

Keep going though, oither than those few things, I'm enjoying it.

EDIT: One other thing. A first chapter must be a minimum of 2 pages in MS Word.
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Last edited by Kayden Javlaíakín; 11-20-2005 at 07:57 PM.
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