The Deepest Wounds
By Pokemon Trainer Sarah
I wasn’t ready.
You held the stone out to me, expecting me to accept it without query. It is true that you were my master, but I deserved a choice... didn't I? I was a living, breathing creature; like you. I could think, I could feel and I could love. I was alive. I turned my gaze to you curiously, unsure of my fate.
Your eyes were glistening with excitement, your fingers wrapped around the fiery red stone. Inside it I could see an eternal flame burning.
“I got this for you.” You said, naturally expecting me to be as excited as you were.
I cocked my head to the left, my way of asking you what was going on.
“This is a Fire Stone,” You explained. “It will help you to grow stronger.”
Stronger? I had fought every battle that I was instructed to, and I had won more than I lost. Together, you and I had already defeated two Gym Leaders. Was I not strong enough?
“Here now, hold still.” You said calmly, extending your right hand toward me, the hand with the glowing rock.
You waited for me to reach out and touch it, but I was unsure. Was I ready to evolve? To leave everything I knew behind? When it was clear that I was not going to move, you bought the red stone closer to me, until I could feel its warmth radiate onto my skin. The hairs on the back of my neck pricked up. My heart began to beat faster. What was happening to me?
I watched your hand move closer in slow motion, bringing the burning stone toward me. I cowered, my instincts telling me to run. I wasn’t ready to change. That stone would transform me. Not only my strength, as you said; but my looks, my personality, my soul. I feared the transformation. I wanted to flee, but you were my master. I had trusted you for as long as I could remember, and thus far no harm had befallen me. I shut my eyes as I ignored all my canine instincts and put all my faith in you.
At last you pushed the stone onto my skin. It felt surprisingly cool, though after the initial chill wore off, a burning sensation took over, spreading throughout my body.
I opened my mouth wide to howl in pain, though I could not make a sound. My eyeballs bulged, my whole body was burning as I began to glow. A fire was growing inside of me. Suddenly I felt my paws burst into flame. My tail stood rigid and stiff. My jaw shot out, extending my chin. I shut my eyes and when I opened them again, the whole world was seen through a layer of red. My whole body ached and this time I roared, a horrific sound, scaring even myself. I opened my mouth as I glared at you through my red eyes. Fangs sprouted from my jaw, giving me an even more menacing look. I struggled to gain control of my new body. My large new paw crashed to the ground, striking the Fire Stone and crushing it into a thousand pieces. Through the excruciating pain, I managed to turn my head. I looked over at you for support and guidance, just as I had all my life. But you were looking straight through me, stepping away from me as if I was a monster. You were... afraid, but... you created me?
You cowered before me as tears blurred my red vision. I felt strong in my new body. Of course I was more powerful, but I had lost a part of myself. I let out a sickening roar as the fury I felt at your betrayal became too much for me. It mixed with all the joy from each battle we had won, all the misery from each that we had lost, and all the pain from every attack I had ever taken. The mass of emotions grew inside of me until they sent me into a rage. I did the worst thing a Pokemon could do to his trainer. I attacked you. No matter what I had tried, it wouldn’t have helped. In my fury I had completely lost control. My fiery coat blazed as I moved closer toward you, possessed by the strange power that was flowing through my veins.
“Please...stop!” You groaned as I moved in closer, my new fangs dripping with saliva.
But it was too late.
Just as I was about to sink my fangs into your leg, I was tackled from the side. Wartortle, your most loyal Pokemon, had attacked me. I lay motionless for a moment in the midst of the chaos, thinking about what I had become.
For the first time in my life I saw pure hatred in your eyes as you got to your feet. Your mouth was turned down in a scowl as you pointed your finger at me and labelled me a monster. But you still didn’t understand. I was only a product of your desire. You had brought out the beast within me.
I had been loyal to you, right up until that moment when I had lost control. I had stayed by your side, obeyed your every command, never questioned you, and this was how you repaid me? Just as I felt another wave of rage begin to form inside of me, I felt my beating heart slow down, my tightened muscles began to relax as I slowly regained control of my body. I was suddenly too tired to even lift my head. My vision remained cloudy as fresh tears began to form. I looked up at you, finally realising what I had done and pleading for forgiveness, my eyes wet from spilled tears and the regret of my actions. But you would not make eye contact, instead you turned your back and walked out on me, with Wartortle by your side.
For the first time I was alone in my new body, and I was afraid.
I looked down at my large paws and the sharp white nails that extended from them. My chest was a light tan and my coat a darkish orange. My body had grown to more than twice it’s normal size, though inside I was still only a small, scared puppy. Inside of me I could still feel a flame burning, something I would have to get used to with my change of state. My mouth was numb as I began to feel the after-effects of sprouting fangs. The side where Wartortle tackled me felt bruised and sore.
For the first time since I met you, I felt truly alone. I manoeuvred my aching body over to the window and looked out across the shadows. Up in the sky a forgiving moon shone down on me. I watched it all through my red eyes, as I knew that I no longer had a place by your side.
I believed that I deserved a choice in my evolution. I still do. It is indeed the deepest wounds that never heal. A long time ago I promised myself, and I still stand by that promise, that some day, if our paths cross again, I will try my best to make you understand.
I wasn’t ready.