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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 02-20-2008, 07:17 PM
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Talking Stupid-A Truly Stupid Story (PLEASE RATE)

If you guys like the first half of chapter one, I'll post the rest of it. However, if there's no feedback, I'll be depressed. At LEAST post constructive criticism. If it's bad, post what you think, anyways. I DON'T WANT THIS THREAD TO DIE!!!!! Anyways, here's the first half of chapter one, which won't make any sense without its other half. So, if you DON'T understand why there's an explosion and WANT to know why it happened, say that you show interest in this story. Without further ado, here is Chapter One's first half:

Chapter One: The Mission

It was nighttime on a mysterious planet. As the bag with arms got back into his fighting position, the pie-headed man fell out of pain. As he rose again, tears streamed out of his eyes.
"Why," he sobbed, "WHY would you DO such a thing? Why destroy our BAKERY!?"
"Because..." the bag answered, "I'm famous for being bad."
"That's a stupid reason!" shouted another voice from the injured townspeople.
"Shut up!" An odd beanie-like flying creature shouted back. "He's the Legendary Punching Bag, y'know!"
"Still a sucky reason!"
The punching bag held out his punching glove-fitted arm at the screaming fish. "Go kill that guy."
The beanie creature scraped the fish with his propellor.
"Aaaaah!"
"Robohead version 1.214, kill it!" commanded a fox creature to a square, levitating robot. The robot waited a few seconds, then wiggled its arms violently. "Yeah, great job!" The beanie creature sliced the robot in half! "Aw, man!" said the saddened fox.
"Great job, Beanie," congratulated the punching bag as the beanie creature returned to him.
"Thanks, Master," it responded. Then, Beanie noticed the bag's eyes widen-with fear! "What, what is it, Master?"
BOOM!
Some creature appeared out of nowhere, followed by a violent explosion! This creature had a serious expression on its face, seeming not to care if there was an explosion behind him.
"YOU!!! Whoever you are! Don't you even come close to this Punchin' Bag!"
Not paying any attention to what the bag was saying, the human-like creature held his hand out from his side and created something-a monster resembling a wolf! It lunged at the bag, but the punching bag stopped it with his Bag Punch, causing the wolf to seperate into particles of energy!
Beanie flew onto his head, saying, "Care to tell us your abilities?" He was quickly eaten by a bird-another energy creature.
"Why me...hey, look!" Beanie had spotted someone's glasses! They shimmered in the moonlight as if it were daytime. The hat thought they seemed somehow important, so he grabbed them. As the bird pulled him higher into the sky, he dropped the glasses into the punching bag's hands, who threw them away out of carelessness. The newcomer created an energy creature with blades for arms, who then ran towards the punching bag.
"Face my one-two punch, y'punk!"
ching ching
That was the sound the creature's blades made as it seemed to cut the punching bag. "Heh heh heh, that didn't hurt a-WHOA!!!" He had noticed this creature had cut off his arms! "Then I'll just be on my way, then..." The bag hopped away sadly.
As the newcoming humanoid looked out at the townspeople, he thought, What a stupid planet.
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  #2  
Old 04-04-2008, 02:37 AM
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Default Re: Stupid-A Truly Stupid Story (PLEASE RATE)

I saw your plea in the fanfic section. This really needs to be longer and you need to take more time to describe what is going on. Also, never ever hold the rest of a chapter or story over a readers head until you get reviews or readers. That is the number one way to guarantee readers will not return. If you have any fears the a story may not be your best work and not be liked work extra hard to make it something you are proud of! Ask yourself 'If I was a reader would I want to read this?" If the answer is no, work to make it a story you would want to read !
I know you can do it :)!

Also, remember the ;Mimi and Chester' style of formatting for making your fic easier to read

Quote:
Quote:
Mimi was a happy Eevee pokemorph, frolicking in the flowers of a new spring day.


"Frolic, Mimi, frolic! The day is young and so are you!" Mimi's best friend, Chester the frog, shouted.


"But Chester," Mimi chirped, wrinkling her deformed nose, which made her very ugly to behold. "What is the meaning of life? How can I frolic with such suffering in the word?"


"You really have too much time on your hands, don't you?" Chester replied in a annoyed tone.
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  #3  
Old 04-18-2008, 08:02 PM
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Default Re: Stupid-A Truly Stupid Story (PLEASE RATE)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange_Flaaffy View Post
I saw your plea in the fanfic section. This really needs to be longer and you need to take more time to describe what is going on. Also, never ever hold the rest of a chapter or story over a readers head until you get reviews or readers. That is the number one way to guarantee readers will not return. If you have any fears the a story may not be your best work and not be liked work extra hard to make it something you are proud of! Ask yourself 'If I was a reader would I want to read this?" If the answer is no, work to make it a story you would want to read !
I know you can do it :)!

Also, remember the ;Mimi and Chester' style of formatting for making your fic easier to read
H-h-hey, thanks! I thought this thread was totally done for! I'l post the rest of the first chapter in about one or two days!

And thanks for that writing tip!
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