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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 02-12-2006, 07:58 PM
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Default The Fifth Type

Yes I am starting a new story. Hopefully I can keep this one going for a while.

Critisism and comments are greatly appreciated so please leave them if you have any.

The Fifth Type
Chpater 1: It Begins

“Rocket c’mon get up! Get Coin too! C’mon you idiot get up we need you now!” called a boy. His name was Andrew and he was one of the many students at Normika Academy way up on top of the mountains.

“Dude I’m up I’m up. What’s going on?” Rocket asked as she slowly lifted herself from the floor. A thin blanket that was made for summer even though it was winter fell off her. Next to her lay a cat Pokemon know as the stalker of the night. It was a Meowth and had been her partner for many years.

“It’s horrible! The four types are quarreling with one another!” Andrew said as he felt rushed. He kept looking in front of him and then to Rocket insisting through his movements that she move quickly.

“What!? They haven’t fought for over a hundred years! At least that’s what master told me” Rocket said as she awoke Coin from his slumber. Andrew then rushed off in a bigger hurry then Rocket had suspected. Rocket quickly put on her uniform that she was to wear at all times when awake. It was long like a robe was and was the color of the sky and clouds. Her hair was a brown color and tied back into a pony tail. She held a staff that had eight rings on it at the very top where the circle was.

“Rock what’s going on?” Coin said as he awoke.

“Trouble” Rocket said. She then dashed out of her room still holding the staff and ran the way Andrew went. He was wearing a robe like outfit just like Rockets only it was the color of the earth around.

“Wait for me!” Coin yelled out as he dashed out the room still drowsy. As he ran he looked out the railing next to him. It was an amazing site to behold. Well, it would have been more amazing if not for the water Pokemon of the south intruding into the Western Fire Pokemon’s territory and attacking them. Fire was trying its best to triumph but the Water had them beaten. Some Fire prevailed but a lot of casualties were being caused. Even the sages of Fire couldn’t defend off the Water.

“Rocket there you are! The meeting room hurry! The Earth is taking it over!” cried a girl as she ran past Rocket. Her name was Ellen and she wore a robe colored like the waters of the world. She didn’t have a staff like Rocket did but she did have a Pendent which hung around her neck. It glowed many beautiful colors that reflected how the waters movement was thus, creating an emotion for the water.

“Ellen what’s happening in there? Why does the Earth want the meeting room?” Rocket asked as she and Ellen rushed to the meeting room.

“I don’t know! But there are some sages there of Fire protecting it! But they need help!” Ellen said. Rocket was worried. What was going on?

“Fend off he vine whips! We can’t let them into here!” yelled one of the sages. He then unleashed some flames from a small petal by blowing on it. The vine whips backed off returning to the Tangela from down below.

“How are they getting up here!?” yelled a Water sage as she let out bubble streams to the flying Pokemon hat circled the Academy.

“Well we know how the Flying is getting here but I can’t tell you how the Earth is!” yelled out the Fire Sage as he held back the Earth even more.

“Masters were here!” Ellen said. The Water sage ordered Ellen to help her while Rocket was sent to the lower sections of the academy. She was becoming frustrated with being sent everywhere but she had to obey her masters. It was a rule and she vowed 12 years ago when she turned 5 and was sent here to obey them all. This school took kids at the early age of 5 and trained them till they proved their trust and became a sage. That’s when they were allowed to be let go.

“Rocket follow me now!” yelled one of the flying sage’s. Rocket nodded and looked behind her to make sure Coin was following.

“I’m here Rocket don’t worry! Now let’s get moving even faster! I want my share of battling!” Coin screeched out.

“Master what’s going on?” Rocket asked.

“I told you to call me Beszxa and not Master! And it’s a war! Something has driven the four types Pokemon to go against the ancient law and step into one another’s territories! There is a lot of confusement and a lot of Pokemon dieing. Its chaos!” Beszxa said as he led Rocket down a hall and then down some stairs. The walls were all of Japanese origin. They were made of paper with sliding doors that led to different rooms. The floors were shiny, red and made of fine wood. Rocket was still confused as to why so much commotion was being made about this. But she new not to argue with a Sage so her comments were kept to herself. As Coin ran behind Rocket something hit his side. It couldn’t be seen but it could be felt and boy did Coin feel it. The source entered his body and never left settling into the bones. The source then used some of its powers to erase parts of Coins memories from when it entered into his body.

“Rocket wait up for me!” he yelled as he continued running soon forgetting what just happened.
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  #2  
Old 02-12-2006, 10:02 PM
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Default Re: The Fifth Type

Interesting...this isn't really my type of story, but the way you write, I may learn to like it. I look forward to the next installment.
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Old 02-12-2006, 11:37 PM
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Default Re: The Fifth Type

It's okay, but I noticed some problems (most likely typos)

Quote:
"Rocket follow me now!" yelled one of the flying sage's.
In this instance, the word you're looking for is sages, because the word is plural. "sage's" is possessive.

Quote:
"Masters were here!" Ellen said."
Two things wrong with this one. "were" is the past tense of was (although sometimes was can be its own past tense). "we're" is the contraction for "we are". It should be "we're" in this case.

Also, with that exclamation point there, "said" is too weak a word for the instance. Better words would be things such as yelled, screamed, shouted, etc.

Other than these relatively minor issues, this is a fine fanfic. It sounds an awful lot like my little brother's favorite show (Avatar the Last Airbender) though. Perhaps it's a crossover?

One last note: if you add the suffix -ing to a word that ends in ie, change the ie to a y. So instead of "dieing" it would read "dying".

Keep up the great writing!

-=~Tyrannitar~=-
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Old 02-13-2006, 02:49 AM
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Default Re: The Fifth Type

Thanks for the review. Yeah, I need some help with spelling and stuff like that. lol
And originally I was making this up as I went along but, the more I looked at it the more it did remind me of Avatar. I guess that this can be a crossover.

The next chapter will be up in a bit. I still have to type it. hehe
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  #5  
Old 02-13-2006, 05:37 AM
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Default Re: The Fifth Type

Very nicely intense for a first chapter, great way of pulling the reader in and making them want to see what happens next. Yeah, I noticed a few spelling mistakes, the kind that MS Word doesn't see because they're still valid words but used in the wrong way. Just proofread to make sure you catch these.

Also, I like the original idea of having a type related war. Leaves a lot of room for great new ideas. Hope you continue this, it's a great start so far.
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