Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 04-15-2006, 03:38 AM
gun6's Avatar
gun6 Offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,826
Send a message via AIM to gun6
Default Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Swallow

"The tiny blue pokemon tumbled down the hill, its green leaves spinning around it. It was going dangerously fast; if it hit a solid obstacle, it could die. The Oddish kept on rolling, terrified at it's current situation. He told himself that he would never go outside of his family's spot in the forest. He prayed to the Pokegods as he rolled, and said his last wishes, thinking that it would be the end of him. He neared a rock, closing his eyes, and he screamed. He was prepared for the inevitable outcome... ...which didn't come. A lone Hoppip was floating its way around the forest, caught in a strong breeze. The breeze stopped, and the Hoppip came floating down on a hillside.


"Hop-pip-pip!" It said, smiling. (What a beautiful landing!)

"Oooooddiiiiiish!" Oddish screamed, rolling down the hill. (I'm gonna die!)

"Pip?" (Huh?)

SMACK!

The Oddish collided with the Hoppip, sending both Pokemon flying.

"Pip, pip-hop-hop!" Hoppip screamed at the Oddish. (Hey, watch where you're going, mister!)

Oddish didn't respond, as he had been knocked out in the impact.

"Whatever. Hmmph!" Hoppip said, floating away; leaving Oddish flying through the air.

~~~ Meanwhile, on a nondescript path traveled by many a trainer, a boy was lecturing his Pokemon. ~~~

"Well, Wigglytuff," Evan said, "you should know that it's dangerous to make contact with any Pokemon that falls from the sky; much more for those evil Clefairy Pokemon."

~~~ In the secret base of the Moonstone Army near the nondescript path... ~~~

"I have a report, General Moon!" Private Wish said, bursting through the entryway.

"Yes, Private Wish? Tell me!" General Moon said, putting his hand on his non-existant chin.

"The boy, Evan, has figured us out!" Private Wish said, clutching his ears.

"Oh, great Moonstone!" General Moon shouted. "Prepare the Moon Cannon! Our take-over of the world must start immediately!"

"Yes sir!" Private Wish said, saluteing with one Clefairy hand.

"Hmm... I wonder if our team in Mt. Stumack will be able to succeed..." General Moon pondered.

~~~ Back onto that nondescript dirt path. ~~~

"Do you understand, Wigglytuff?" Evan said, leaning close to his Wigglytuff.

"Wig-wig!" She said, bobbing her pink bunny head up and down. (I do!)

"Good. Now, let us proceed on our jour... what is that in the sky?" Evan said, pointing up into the clear blue sky.

"Wigglytuff!" (It's a bird!)

"It's a plane!"

"Wigg-ly, ly-tuf!" (It's a paper bag!)

"Wait... no. It's just an unconscious Oddish flying through the air, heading directly torwards us. Oh poo."

WHAM!

~~~ At Mt. Stumack. ~~~

"March, Clefairy troops, on the double! Don't let the Moonstone Army down!" Major Metro ordered, looking around just in time to catch a few Cleffa lying around on the job. "Move it, privates! Get your rears in gear!"

"Major Metro, sir! We have a message from our headquarters near the nondescript dirt path!" Said a bulky Clefable, who was just dashing into the observatory.

"From the nondescript dirt path, eh? Tell me, Private Ray." Major Metro said, keeping watch on the march of the Moonstone Army out of the corner of his eye.

"Well, General Moon told us that our take-over of the world must start immediately!" Private Ray cited.

"An interesting message, indeed..." Major Metro said. "Return to your station, and tell Clefairy #5349238 to get in here. I would like to have a word with him about considering a more useful, albeit less honorable option than serving in the Moonstone Army."

"Yes sir!" Private Ray said, with a quick salute before he dashed out of the door.

~~~ In the sea... oh wait, back onto that nondescript dirt path. ~~~

"Ugh... What happened?" Evan said, rubbing the back of his head as he got up from the dirt path.

"..."

"Wigglytuff? Unconscious Oddish? Are either of you up yet?" Evan said, gazing down at the two Pokemon, who had little spiral patterns instead of eyes.

Evan sat on the path, his glasses reflecting the light of the sun. He eventually got bored with trying to dig little craters in the dirt, and began to poke the Oddish with a blunt stick he found lying on the grass-covered ground to the right side of the path. Evan sighed, and stood up, searching for any sign of a Pokemon Center, or at least anything that could help right now. He strode over the windswept grass, leaving tiny size 7 1/2 shoe imprints on the mixed terrain. He found a green berry bush, and began to pick what seemed to be Oran berries.
About ten minutes later, Evan sat down on the path, cradling in his lap, a pack filled with eighty-or-so berries that he had managed to find and shove in his backpack's berry compartment.

"When will these two ever wake up?" He asked himself.
As if answered by a stroke of luck, Wigglytuff and the Oddish started to move. They sat up, blinking and rubbing their eyes with their hands/leaves. They immediately looked at eachother, and both stood up immediately, backing away from eachother. They stared eachother down for what seemed for ages, until they finally got bored and shook hands/leaves.

"...What was that all about?" Evan said, scratching his noggin. "Oh well... hello, Oddish."

"Odd-odd!" Oddish replied, smiling happily. (Hello!)

"Hmm... let's go to that mountain over there, and see if we can see anything from there." Evan said, pointing at a large brown traingle on the horizon.

"Odd-ish!" (Ok!)

"Wig." (Meh.)

~~~ A few hours later, following Evan and company, who have arrived at Mt. Stumack. ~~~

"Wow, look at this mountain! It's huge!" Evan shouted, looking up at an 80 degree angle, trying to pinpoint where the large brown mass of rock ended. "Let's go inside!"

"Wig-wig, tuff-wiggly-wig-tuff." Wigglytuff said, grimly shaking her head. (Somehow, this doesn't seem right.)

Evan, followed by Oddish and Wigglytuff, entered the cave through its large entrance. The faint scent of baking bread wafted throughout the cavern, almost making everybody in the party drool. They continued on, ignoring the torches hanging on the wall, which eventually turned into lanturns further down the path, and then finally, fluorescent lights. The bright light gave a creepy feeling to the tunnel, making the contrast between the cozy light and the scary darkness overwhelming. The fluorescent lights were placed closely together, so there were no areas for shadows to lurk, aside from cracks in the rock wall, and the occasional flickering of the lights. They emerged from the tunnel into a fireplace-lit room that was large, but cozy. It had a regal red carpet on the floor, with lily patterns on it, and a few red chairs and sofas. The walls were made out of smoothed-out granite, which obviously was in the heart of the mountain. The fireplace's fire hissed and spit, directing their pent-up anger at the intruders, but to no avail.

"Wow... look at this place!" Evan said, turning around on his feet. He walked over to the red sofa, and plopped down onto it. He was surprised as how soft the fabric was, and how light each of the maroon circular pillows were when he lifted them. It was like they were made of air... or light.

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! INTRUDER ALERT, INTRUDER ALERT!"

"Oh my-" Evan yelled, Wigglytuff's hand muffling Evan's cry.

"Right. Let's do this stealth-style." Evan said, thanking Wigglytuff.

Evan, Wigglytuff, and the not-so-unconscious Oddish began to sneak around, hanging onto the walls and walking on the tips of their toes. Wigglytuff put out the fire in the fireplace by inhaling and exhaling, and then she joined the waiting Evan and Oddish. The began to turn around the corner slowly, not wanting to be seen.

"Hey Bob, aren't-... ...Clef." A Clefable that was walking with "Bob" said. (Clef-able, able-... ...oops.)

"Clef, fair-clefairy! Clefair!" Bob said. (Yes, you idiot! Seize them!)

The Clefable and Clefairy dashed torwards the three intruders, and chased them as they ran away, shouting at them in Clefairy and Clefable tongues.


~~~ In the deepest, darkest, cavernous area in Mt. Stumack... ~~~

"Sir! We have encountered a major problem!" Clefairy #48387 said to Major Metro as he burst through a fake wall that seemed to be solid rock.

"Why are there so many major problems and reschedulings?" Major Metro sighed. " Yes, Clefairy 4838... was it 8, or 7... what is the major problem?"

"There is a colony of those green-and-black gulpers, and they are eating our machinery!" Clefairy #48387 said, shuddering at the thought of being messily consumed by the gulpers.

"Green-and-black gulpers, eh? At least they aren't purple gulpers... that thing was a terror." Major Metro said, examining the broken fake wall with disinterest. "Send out the Gulper Squad. They should know what to do."

"Yes sir!" The Clefairy shouted as he saluted.

~~~ Back at you-know-where with you-know-who. Think... think... yes, that's it. ~~~

Evan, Wigglytuff, and Oddish finally stopped running, leaning against a rock wall and panting. They had taken a left, right, left, right, right, down, right, left, and left to evade their followers, and were now exhausted because of it. Evan recovered, as his breathing became slower and his heartbeat became calmer.

"Well, it seems that we lost them," Evan whispered, "but we seemed to have lost ourselves too. Let's check out what's down that tunnel over there."

So they went down that tunnel, pretending to be stealthy and all ninja-like.

~~~ Back with Bob and a random Clefable. ~~~

"Hey Bob, aren't-... ... Clef-clef. " A Clefable that was walking with "Bob" said. (Clef-able, able-... ...uh-oh.)

"Clef, clefairy cle-fair-y clefair! Clef!" Bob yelled. (Yes, those are the green-and-black gulpers! Run!)

Last edited by gun6; 04-19-2006 at 12:08 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-15-2006, 03:38 AM
gun6's Avatar
gun6 Offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,826
Send a message via AIM to gun6
Default Re: Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Swallow

~~~ Back with the heroes(?), who are now approaching the end of the tunnel. ~~~


"Be very careful... I can see light behind this corner..." Evan whispered to his Pokemon, and the Oddish. They peered around the corner, and what they saw absolutely terrified them: Gulpins chasing Cleffas, Clefairies, and Clefables and trying to eat them. There was a lone Gulpin in the middle of the room, and it was busily snacking on what looked like a hi-tech peice of machinery. It turned around, as it let a bolt fall, and immediately spotted them. It began to charge.

"Gulp... pin-gulpin!" It said, as it charged for Oddish. (Yum... an Onion!)

"Wigglytuff! Doubleslap that would-be Oddish-eater!" Evan yelled, locking his gaze on the approaching Gulpin.

Wigglytuff puffed out her chest, inflating to twice her size, before letting out a deadly barrage of back-handing goodness. One,two,three,four,five,six... seventy-eight, seventy-nine, eighty. After eighty blows on the Gulpin, it looked injured. Normally, it would take 3 to 5 slaps, but Gulpin just kept on jiggling around when slapped, deflecting the blows. The Gulpin piled up a few rocks, and then swallowed all of them down. After a few seconds, its bruises and injuries were gone, and it looked much healthier.

"Grr... this thing is so annoying... Hyper Voice!" Evan yelled, an expression of anger written all over his face. Wigglytuff let out a peircing cry, and in a second, all you could hear was an extremely loud noise pounding into your skull, as if seeking refuge in your ears. The Gulpin seemed to shake it off, and it shot a large ball of sludge out of its mouth. The Sludge Bomb hit Wigglytuff, who fell backwards from the recoil. Wigglytuff shook off the sludge, and began to inflate, nearing the point of putting the smackdown on the dopey Gulpin.

"Use Body Slam, Wigglytuff!" Evan shouted before a Clefairy beside him fainted. Wigglytuff tackled the Gulpin, making the thing faint as it crashed against the wall while Wigglytuff fell to the ground. Another Gulpin snuck up behind Wigglytuff and prepared to fire a Sludge Bomb at the recovering Wigglytuff, sucking in air. Wigglytuff finally got up and just had enough time to dust herself off before the Gulpin launched its Sludge Bomb attack.

"Wigglytuff, use Counter!" Evan shouted, prepared to come to the aid of his Pokemon. Wigglytuff turned a golden hue, and the Sludge Bomb bounced off of her, knocking her down from recoil, but launching the sludge projectile back at the Gulpin at maximum velocity. The Gulpin opened its mouth wide, and swallowed the oncoming sludge.

"Ew," Evan said, "Use Disable!" With that, Wigglytuff quickly moved her hands in a triangular fashion, and the Gulpin froze in its tracks. "Wigglytuff, use Double-Edge, now!" Wigglytuff took on a full-blown charge torwards the immobilized Gulpin, and with a deafening "WHAM!", knocked it out. Wigglytuff staggered torwards Evan, defeated.

"You can't give up yet, Wigglytuff! Here, take some of these Oran berries that I picked earlier." Evan said, handing Wigglytuff a handful of small, blue berries. Wigglytuff barely managed to eat them, and in a few seconds after she did, her eyes fluttered open, she stood up, and a wide smile lept onto her face. A Clefable fainted, leaving its injured opponent to face another Cleffa, Clefairy, Clefable, or the three odd newcomers standing not too far away from it. It chose the newcomers, thinking of how tasty an onion would be this time of the day.

"Gulpin... gulpin gulp gulpin!" It cried out, as it charged torwards the Oddish. (Prepare... to lose your onion!)

It charged at the Oddish, its mouth wide open, in an overconfident way. As it neared the Oddish, Wigglytuff stuck her foot out, sending the little ball of slime tumbling. She then smacked it in the back with a sharp Pound and with a sense of amusement, watched it crash into the machinery. A lone Cleffa was running away from two hungry Gulpins, one green... and the other a dark blue. Evan looked in awe at the blue Gulpin, and quickly rubbed his eyes, as if to conclude that his eyes were playing tricks on him, and he had NOT just seen a shiny Pokemon. However, he still saw it, and came back to his senses.

"Wigglytuff, Sing! Help that poor Cleffa out!" Evan yelled, bounding torwards the three Pokemon. Wigglytuff sucked in air, and began to sing gently. The walls of the room acted like a music building, and the song bounced off of the walls, giving it more power. The Cleffa began to fall asleep, bringing its tiny little thumb to its mouth and curling up on its side. The Gulpins took this as an easy prey, and began to scoot across the floor even faster. The song got to them though, and they crashed on the ground. Evan picked up the Cleffa, and cradled it in his arms. Even though all Cleffa, Clefairy, and Clefable are evil, they don't deserve to get eaten alive by Gulpin.


"Wigglytuff, Doubleslap both of those Gulpin!" He whispered, not wishing to disturb the sleeping baby Pokemon. Wigglytuff quietly snuck up to the two sleeping blobs, and started to wail on them with an arsenal of forward slaps, backhand slaps, overhead slaps, knuckle slaps, and raw fish slaps. The green Gulpin fainted immediately, but the blue Gulpin woke up, and began to Yawn.

"Oh no! Wigglytuff, don't fall asleep! Finish it off with Body Slam!" Evan whispered, debating on wether to wake the Cleffa, or to let his Wigglytuff fall asleep. Wigglytuff started a slow charge torwards the Gulpin, but slowed down as she went further. She was right next to the Gulpin, and then she collapsed, crushing the Gulpin. She rolled off, allowing Evan to quietly pull her Pokeball out and return her. He then pulled out a spare Pokeball from the side of his backpack and lobbed it at the almost unconscious Gulpin.

"1..." Evan thought, holding the sleeping Cleffa in his arms. "2..." Evan thought, watching the Oddish bounce and twirl its leaves as it silently participated in Evan's triumph. "3..." Evan thought, gazing at the red-and-white Pokeball that would let fate take control of it.

EDIT: Now with more pictures! :D
__________________
If you want to challenge my gym, please send me a PM on PE2K or message me on AIM (gun6gun6) ! I'm sorry if I can't respond immediately sometimes. :x


Last edited by gun6; 04-15-2006 at 08:28 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-22-2006, 03:38 AM
Seawolf's Avatar
Seawolf Offline
I has a stik
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illium
Posts: 10,894
Send a message via AIM to Seawolf
Default Re: Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Swallow

Sorry about taking so long. I'll keep things simple.

Story: Very imaginative! I enjoyed it a lot. If there is one negative thing I have to say, it would be that I think you could've expanded on the plot just a little bit more. I would love to hear about the origins of the Moonstone Army and what they stand for. Why do those pesky Gulpin come down to eat their machines and such?

The characters were great, and made this story all the more better. The pictures were also a nice addition. I want to see more from you soon.

Details: The battle was the best in this category. The beginning was also nice, but I feel as though descriptions on the Moonstone Army were scant. I kept picturing General Moon as an evil-looking Clefable (or was he a Clefairy? I kept getting lost) with an eye patch. As always, there could've been more, but what you had was sufficient. Nice job.

Grammar/Spelling: Very good. I only see minor errors here, and they're not even all that obvious.

Reality: Heh...I suppose so, except for the talking part. But Pokemon have spoken before, so I guess it's not too far off the mark.

Length: Personally, I think the story could've been longer overall. Gulpin is common, but I think the whole story itself is around 7,000 characters, which really isn't all that much. I really like your style of writing and the plot, so I am willing to overlook this. I think you should write a little more than you have here next time, alright?

Battle: Wonderful. You give Wigglytuff a very distinct personality when she battles, and the descriptions for the attacks are well-done. You used quite a number of different moves, and the battle itself was creative and nicely executed.

Outcome: Gulpin captured!

Yes, it can be shiny. Excellent work, gun6!
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:31 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com