Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 04-21-2006, 03:14 AM
GodsChild7's Avatar
GodsChild7 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 22
Default Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Chapter 1: Viridian Forest

Ryan made his way up a steep hill. His jeans and shirts were tathered and dirty, and he panted. He had been travelling for eight days straight. The sky was a mixture of reds, oranges, and pinks, as twilight began to spread over the land. Everything was calm and tranquil...the grass blades dancing in the spring breeze, the sound of wild pokemon turning in for the night, and some pokemon starting their day. Ryan was a twelve year old boy, his face had soft features framed with shaggy dark brown hair. The sun reflected of his eyes as if they were two pools of blure crystaline.

When he finally reached the top of the hill he halted, taking a breather. After about two minutes of silent breathing, he plotted on the ground. "Almost there." he mumbled, as he took a back pack and drunk from a cantine of water. Ryan looked at the sky, the sun was finally finished setting, and the sky was purple. "I better get some rest."

He put the cantine back into his back pack, and layed back on the soft grass. The feeling of the soft wind felt good on his face, as his eyes became heavy. Sleep overcame him, he was exhausted; he hadn't had a rest for a day or two. The stars now shone bright, with the radiance of a thousand years of passion and beauty. Ryan snored with a smile on his face...sleep.

The sun sqweezed its first rays of light onto the land. Ryan woke up reluctantly, he had a destination that he had to reach by a specific time, and he was already behind schedule. Pallet Town was only beyond Viridian City, which was only past the Viridian Forest, which was in his sight. Not that much longer. I need to be in Pallet by tomarrow morning, I just might. Ryan made his way in the direction he had been travelling in for nine days now. He looked his destiny in the face as he stood at the mouth of the Viridian Forest, "Lets go." he said aloud to himself.

A grueling seven hours passed as he made his way through the forest. Ryan was lucky to be travelling through the forest without any pokemon encounters, he was far too exhusted to fight, or run in that matter. "Lucky no pokemon attacked me yet, I heard this forest's Beedrill are ficious." Ryan said wiping some sweat off his brow. And just as if he jynxed himself, a group of three beedrill flew by, and they weren't in an exactly...good mood.

"Just my luck!" Ryan exclaimed, sulking his head in anger.

He reached for his belt and took out a pokeball. His eyes were flaring with ambition, he was suddenly excited. Ryan hadnt battled in awhile, actually since he left the Cerulean gym. He threw the pokeball, releasing a Poliwhirl. "Okay, lets go!"

One of the Beedrills attacked using a Twineedle attack. This Beedrill was obviously the strongest of the group, and the leader. Poliwhirl didnt have a chance to dodge the attack, it was swift and sent Poliwhirl flying back, and hitting the forest ground.

"Poliwhirl!!!" Ryan shouted in alarm, he didnt expect the Beedrill to be that strong, despite the rumors about them.

Poliwhirl stood, slowly and obviously in pain. It flinched ounce it made it to its feet. "Okay, lets go! Water Gun!!!" Ryan commanded. Poliwhirl did as told, but it took him awhile to get back into the battle. The Water Gun was powerful, showing that the Poliwhirl was well trained. The leader Beedrill dodged it with ease, but for the other two; they were hit by it, coming down, defeated in one blow.

The leader Beedrill attacke dwith another Twineedle, this one more powerful than the last. Ryan clenched his ist, he couldnt stand to watch his Poliwhirl take another attack like the last one. "Poliwhirl, dodge it!" Poliwhirl bearly evaded it, he used his slippery body texture allowed him to slip by the Beedrill's poisonous needles. But the Beedrill quickly turned and attacked Poliwhirl, nailing a devistating strike on it's back. It was left knocked out, Ryan was almost brought to tears.

"Poliwhirl, come on back." he murmured, returning the pokemon to the comfort of its pokeball. The Beedrill wasnt done with it's wrath, he flew towards Ryan with another powerful attack. Ryan's eyes became wide, and he jumped to the side, evading the strike. He rolled into a bush, waiting for the Beedrill to leave. It did, after an hour of flying above the bush he was hiding behind. Man, Im later now. I better hurry. It was already sunset again. He stood, brushed off his pants, and began to sprint as fast as he could toward the enterance of the forest, where Viridian lay.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-21-2006, 06:22 PM
GodsChild7's Avatar
GodsChild7 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 22
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Chapter 2: Choosing of the Trade

Ryan finally made it into Viridian. It was night, and he was supposed to be in Pallet by the morning, that wouldnt be that hard. Pallet Town was in eye sight, and there wasnt that much pokemon inhabiting the area along the way. Ryan's body ached, he was tired, and pushed past his limits. But, he couldnt stop, if he rested he would over sleep, and be late. I need to go the the Pokemon Center....

He staggered his way to the Poke' Center and entered the building. Inside it was finely furnished, and was comfortable and welcoming, for trainer's to take pit stops. A pink haired, Nurse Joy stood behind the counter. Ryan approached the nurse and placed the pokeball holding Poliwhirl inside on the counter top.

"I need, my pokemon to be restored..." he murmured. He was always great at battles, and never really came to the pokemon center. He didnt like the feeling of relying on someone else to help his pokemon. And he didnt like the nurses, the three times he ever went, they stepped on his nerves.

"Here you go. Your pokemon are back at full health. We hope we see you again!" the Nurse smiled, as she placed his pokeball back onto the counter top.

Ryan quietly took the pokeball, and put it away. He left without saying another word, not even thank you. Damn. I hate those nurses!!!! They want me to lose, and my pokemon to get injured. They hope to see me again!!! His ambition returned, but it didnt show, because he took on his tired appearance.

He made it to Pallet as the sun rose into the sky. Ryan was crawling on all fours, his body shakin violently, and bags under his eyes. Ounce he made it past the Town Enterance, he fainted, and fell flat on the ground, beginning to snore. A girl about his age, and a woman in a white lab coat approached his fainted, yet sleeping body.

"Proffessor? Is he alright?" the girl asked.

"I dont know. Go get Shane to help bring him into my house, we could examine him there. I hope he's okay." the Proffessor said sternly. She turned and walked away.

The girl kneeled down, and bent her face over his. She looked at his body features. "Damn. He's hot." she whispered. The girl had long raven hair, and beautiful violet eyes. She looked extravigant. She moved some hair out of Ryan's face. The girls face turned red, and she quickly looked away. Dont even think about it! She stood and ran off.

Ryan woke up. He was in a bed, and his body was so relaxed he couldnt control his own muscles. The room that he lay in seemed big, and expensive. The thought of how he got in there overcame him, and shock that he was late was even worse. Ryan began to panic, as he forced his body to move, and he began to fret.

"Where am I! I gotta go, Im late!!!!" he shouted jumping out of bed, and grabbing his back pack that sat on the floor next to the bed. He heard someone coming up a set of tairs and hid in a nearby closet.

A girl entered. She wasnt much older then he was, and had long raven hair. He didnt know this but it was the girl from before, obviously. "Where is he? Is he okay?" she asked aloud.

"Im okay." Ryan replied, stepping out from his hiding place. He was behind her, and he chuckled. His hand moved swiftly as he picked up the skirt she was wearing and blurted out, "Nice panies." This was followe din a slap on the cheeck, a scream, and her beginning to step his face in.The Proffesor came running up to see what the commotion was about. And everything else was a blur in Ryan's eyes. They ended up in the Professor's living room, talking.

"So, why were you passed ouot in the middle of the town?" the Professor asked.

"I was coming here to get my starter." Ryan replied flattly.

"Oh, you must be the boy from Cerulean."

"But Prof.Oak, I saw that he had a pokemon." the girl said, looking at the Professor.

"Thats Poliwhirl. But its complicated, he's mor elike a pokemon passed down to me, not my own. I came her to start my own journey...this is where my mother's friend started his journey." Ryan said, looking down at his shoes.

"Well, we're about to go to the lab right about now. Come with us." the Professor smiled.

She stood and walked out of the living room, and out into town. Ryan just stood there, not saying a word. The girl sat on the couch across from him, doing the same. He lifted his head and looked at her.

"I didnt mean to affend you earlier. Your really cute." he blurted out quickly.

"No worries. But if you do it again Ill kick your ass." she smiled at him. Ryan laughed.

"Im Ryan." he greeted standing.

"Im Anne." she said, also standing. She left the house and went outside, to go to the lab.

I hope I can find the lab. This is my first time in Pallet. Actually, its my first time going anywhere outside of Cerulean. Ryan walked out of the house. He looked around, trying to decide which building was the Pokemon Lab. He quickly decided it was the big build, not that far away form the Proessor's house. The steps were a drag, eachone was more pain satking then the last. His body was still exhausted, and wasnt ready for this. He wished he was a pokemon, and was able to be quickly healed by those evil nurses at the Pokemon Center.

When he got there Professor Oak was standing there smiling, giving Ryan a warm welcome. Anne stood next to the Professor smiling at a pokeball that was in her hands, admiring it. There was also a boy who was also his age. The boy had silver hair, and a black headband holding it up. He wore black shorts, and a black and green shirt. By his side stood a small Squirtle.

"Hiya." Ryan greeted everyone. He smiled, rubbing the back of his head.

"Your looking better." the boy said.

Anne stepped in between the two. She looked at both of them and smiled. "Ryan, this is Shane. He helped get you to the professor's house. And Shane, this is Ryan. A trainer from Cerulean."

"Nice to meet' ya" Shane said.

"Yeah...you to."

A pokeball sat on the table that was in the center of the room. It glowed in the light of the lamp that illuminated the room. Ryan knew for sure, without a doubt, that it held the pokemon that would be his starter. He smiled, and his eyes glowed with ambition as he stared at it.

"Its all yours. Take good care of it." Professor Oak said.

"I wonder what it is?" Ryan murmured. He went to grab it, hoping it was Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur was the pokemon he always wante dto start out with. Ryan had a vibe, and a strong feeling that it was Bulbasaur. He grabbed the pokeball and threw it, "Go! Bulbasaur!" he eclaimed.

Bulbasaur was realeased. It was small, and like Shane's Squirtle, you can tell it was very young. It smiled, and looked at Ryan. Walking to Ryan's leg, it began to nuzzle.

"How did you know it was Bulbasaur?" Shane asked.

"I just had a feeling." Ryan chuckled.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-23-2006, 03:40 AM
minitrini's Avatar
minitrini Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: A little town called None Of Your God-Damned Business
Posts: 178
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Ryans a bit too young to be thinking about waht girls have under thier panties>>
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-23-2006, 05:20 AM
Pokemon Trainer Sarah's Avatar
Pokemon Trainer Sarah Offline
Expecto Patronum!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Route 1
Posts: 8,137
Send a message via AIM to Pokemon Trainer Sarah Send a message via MSN to Pokemon Trainer Sarah
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Quote:
Originally Posted by minitrini
Ryans a bit too young to be thinking about waht girls have under thier panties>>
Yeah =P

Aside from that, it's not bad. There are a few spelling errors which could easily be fixed by reading over your work or typing it in a Word program. The other thing is that you're having Ryan get a starter to start his journey, even though he already has Poliwhirl which is fine, but then you say that he hasn't battled since he left the Cerulean Gym...which means he's already started his journey...?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-23-2006, 02:31 PM
minitrini's Avatar
minitrini Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: A little town called None Of Your God-Damned Business
Posts: 178
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Yead man your story's good. I wanna see what happens next!!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-23-2006, 04:33 PM
GodsChild7's Avatar
GodsChild7 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 22
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Quote:
Originally Posted by minitrini
Ryans a bit too young to be thinking about waht girls have under thier panties>>
Well he's not thinking about whats under her panties. And it doesnt matter what age a person is, they can be perverted. He's twelve ya' know.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokemon Trainer Sarah
Yeah =P

Aside from that, it's not bad. There are a few spelling errors which could easily be fixed by reading over your work or typing it in a Word program. The other thing is that you're having Ryan get a starter to start his journey, even though he already has Poliwhirl which is fine, but then you say that he hasn't battled since he left the Cerulean Gym...which means he's already started his journey...?
Ill read over it now, and type it on Word Perfect. And Ill give you a spoiler about this fic, to clear things up about gym thing. (Note: Spoiler in white.)
Spoiler--His mother is the gym leader of the Cerulean Gym.


Quote:
Originally Posted by minitrini
Yeah man your story's good. I wanna see what happens next!!
Thanks guys. I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic!!!

Last edited by GodsChild7; 04-23-2006 at 04:50 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-24-2006, 08:00 PM
Ricky Offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In my computer!
Posts: 205
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Ryan, the PE2k administrator is only 12?!
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-24-2006, 08:37 PM
GodsChild7's Avatar
GodsChild7 Offline
New Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 22
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ricky
Ryan, the PE2k administrator is only 12?!
Okaaaaaaayyy, and I care why???? Im 13. A person at twelve can be perverted, trust me, I know. Thats all Im trying to say.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-25-2006, 08:18 PM
Ricky Offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In my computer!
Posts: 205
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Quote:
Originally Posted by GodsChild7
Okaaaaaaayyy, and I care why???? Im 13. A person at twelve can be perverted, trust me, I know. Thats all Im trying to say.
Forget all of what I said then, see if I care! I'll e-mail him to find out and I'll come back here gloating about me knowing he's twelve!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-26-2006, 07:27 AM
Pokemon Trainer Sarah's Avatar
Pokemon Trainer Sarah Offline
Expecto Patronum!
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Route 1
Posts: 8,137
Send a message via AIM to Pokemon Trainer Sarah Send a message via MSN to Pokemon Trainer Sarah
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

What are you talking about and where did you get the idea that the PE2K administrator is 12? The Ryan in the story has nothing to do with him, there are a lot of Ryans in the world, you know...

Anyway, thanks for explaining the gym thing, GodsChild7, everything makes sense now ^^ I'll be awaiting the next chapter
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-26-2006, 07:21 PM
TVTMaster's Avatar
TVTMaster Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Cyber Earth (Chapel Hill, NC)
Posts: 2,336
Default Re: Poke'mon Journey: The Seven Stars

Nice, a few mistakes with punctuation, some foul language, and an unoriginal plot, but stilll well-written. I can see this becoming good...
__________________

Avatar and banner by Tabbloza

Back again for like the fifth sixth seventh time or something. Moving and taking classes at community college and beating all the Zelda games and arrrglblargl.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:43 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com