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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 12-31-2006, 11:12 PM
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Default -~-Painful Plains-~-

Intro
Rain, Mira thought miserably as she stared upward into the heavy, gray storm clouds above, as if trying to will them away with her eyes. Of all the things that could’ve happened on my first day as a trainer, why’d it have to be rain? As she stared upward, a fat drop splashed right into her left eye. “Ack!” she cried, quickly turning her head down and wiping the cold drop out with her shirt. Mumbling something about how pitiful her situation was, she put down her leather backpack and pulled out a map, wanting too know where the heck she was in these endless plains.

Mira looked about 9 or 10 with her bright, lively hazel eyes, slightly freckled face, and childish body figure, but she was really 12. Her nearly teenage, um, age, contributed to her sarcastic yet funny personality. Did I mention she complains? A lot?

And now was the perfect time for Mira to use her complaining side. Her dirty-blonde hair was matted to her head, night was coming, and she was freezing in the rain.

“This. Is. So. STUPID!” Mira roared, the pressure getting to her. “I’m wet, I’m freezing, I’m hungry, and I strayed off the route, which is now at the highly convenient location of 5 MILES AWAY! Could anything ELSE go wrong on my first day of being a trainer?!”

The Pokeball at her waist shuddered, and Mira quickly realized it wasn’t from the cold.

“I’m sorry, Ember,” she murmured softly, immediately contrite. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Then she remembered the professor’s words when he gave her the oddly-colored Charmander and what had happened to make Ember have brown-gray scales and a gray stomach.
---
“Mira, I need you to remember that this Pokemon is very different,” Oak said.

“I know, I know,” Mira grumbled, not really paying attention. “Ember is brown-gray with a gray stomach.” She was more interested in the lab than the conversation. Everything was a radiant, blinding white, which hurt her eyes when coupled with the ridiculously bright lab lights. Computers everywhere, with a bunch of digits and command prompts and basically Matrix-style complication. Mira and the professor stood by a brown table in the upper-right corner of the lab, where the Pokemon were kept.

“Your Pokemon was exposed to acid rain while in its egg. Ember, as you call her, is very lucky. Her brothers and sisters all died from exposure. She was just mutated slightly.”

“You make it sound so normal.”

“It’s better than calling her a mutant.”

“Point taken.”

---
Sighing, Mira took one last pitiful glance at the Pokeball, and then put it in her pack, where she hoped it would be warm. “Well, I suppose I should camp here,” she grumbled. “It’s already nightfall, and it’s obvious I can’t keep going in this storm.” Trying to ignore the muddy ground, she put out her sleeping bag.

“Come on, rain, stop already!” she shouted. She felt a sharp pain on her head. “Ouch!” she yelped. Noticing the ice balls littered on the ground, she felt so incredibly jinxed and stupid.

“Great, just great. I’ve summoned hail.”
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Last edited by Larvinator; 12-31-2006 at 11:16 PM.
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  #2  
Old 12-31-2006, 11:15 PM
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Default Re: -~-Painful Plains-~-

Geodude's Awakening
“Okay, yesterday was a bummer, but today is great! There isn’t a cloud in the sky!” Mira cried joyfully. “It’s a beautiful morning, the sun is shining, and…I have to pack up again.” Leave it to Mira to complain even on the most pleasant days.

A few minutes later, she was on her way with Ember marching beside her.

“Sorry about that bit of complaining at the camp.” Mira said, obviously feeling chagrined about her idiotic complaints.

“Char?”

“Oh. That’s right. You were in your Pokeball. Anyway, we should arrive at Pewter soon enough. Or the route to it, anyway. Then we’ll take on the gym leader! That will get us a step closer to the Indigo League! Then-whoa!”

Mira’s rant was brought to a sudden stop as she tripped over something and fell face first into the dirt. Pain was only a second behind.

“Char!”

“Ow!” she cried. “What the heck did I-“ She stopped when she noticed the large, rugged rock in the path. “I didn’t see that last night. Where’d it come from?”

“Char! Char?”

“No, I’m fine, Ember, really. I just tripped over some dumb old…”

Her words caught in her throat. Mouth open, she watched in amazement as the “rock” lifted itself from the ground sluggishly and shook off some dirt.

“…rock?” she finished. The living rock floated in the air, then turned to face her. “Okay. Eyes. Mouth. Muscular arms. Shoot, that’s not a rock, that’s a Geodude. No, not really a Geodude either. More like a super ticked off Geodude.”

With an angry cry, the Geodude floated over to a rock the size of him and picked it up. A horrible grin spread over its face as he lifted the hunk of granite over his head.

“Oh, shoot.”

Let me tell you: 2-foot diameter boulders hurt when thrown. Luckily, Mira had the sense to dodge and the giant rock missed her by inches.

“I’m dead! Or I’ll be dead soon.” Mira cried as Geodude floated about to look for another death rock. “Wait…Ember!”

“Char! Charmander!” the little fire lizard replied. Her sky blue eyes sparkled with a feisty light. The fire on her tail flared up immensely, like someone had just poured gasoline over it. Her tiny clawed fingers curled into fists, and she gave Mira a look that seemed to say, I’m ready. Just tell me when.

Mira nodded and shouted, “Ember, Scratch!”

Ember lunged high and almost seemed to hover for a moment before coming down on Geodude, claws extended like knife blades. She landed right in front of Geodude, and then struck. Geodude just laughed and absorbed the blow. Ember let out an animal roar of frustration and struck again. And again. But it seemed that Geodude was invulnerable to Ember’s furious scratches. Finally, as if bored with the matter and wanting to move on to something else, it knocked Ember back with a powerful Tackle.

Ember flew back like she was being pulled by an invisible force, then hit the dirt and skidded about ten feet before hitting a rock. With a moan, she rose, rubbing her head.

“This isn’t working,” Mira muttered. “Hmm…aha! I have an idea.” Mira said, nodding. “Ember, use Scratch, but aim for the eyes!”

Ember nodded groggily, but then snapped back into full consciousness, as if awakened from a dream. Running at full speed, she caught Geodude off guard, extended her claws, and hit her mark. With a screech of agony, Geodude did the levitating equivalent of stumbling backwards and clasped both hands over his right eye in pain.

“Yeeess!” Mira cried, pumping her fist into the air in celebration. “Good shot, Ember!”

“Char!”

But Geodude was recovering, and now he was angrier than ever. Growling in rage, he floated over to another boulder and lifted it with a grunt. Eying Ember with his good left eye, he took aim…

Mira was still celebrating over Ember’s hit, oblivious to the 50-pound boulder in Geodude’s arms.

“Good shot! You rock, Ember! Ember, you…l-look out!” she cried, noticing Geodude’s oversized boulder too late. Geodude hurled it at the point-blank range of 10 feet.
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Last edited by Larvinator; 12-31-2006 at 11:17 PM.
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  #3  
Old 12-31-2006, 11:21 PM
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Default Re: -~-Painful Plains-~-

Pidgey Peril
Time seemed to slow down. Mira could see everything that happened. The frozen terror on Ember’s face. The way Ember’s body seemed to snap back as the heavy granite hit. The sight of Ember flying back and into the dirt, bouncing a couple times before she skidded to a stop and lay unmoving.

Ember was trying to hold to her consciousness, but it was like walking through neck-high snow. Desperately trying to trudge towards the light of awareness. A voice was calling. Muddled and faded. Barely audible.

“Ember! Ember! Ember!”

Ember?

The fog cleared. Ember knew what to do.

Ember.

With startling quickness, Ember leapt to her feet and let loose thousands of tiny embers from her mouth.

Geodude screamed as the powerful Ember attack hit him. Normally he could have absorbed it, but the fire was fueled by trust and desperation. Slowly he sank to the ground, overpowered. He wasn’t fainted, but he was extremely weak, unable to levitate anymore.

But Ember had been extremely weak before the huge attack. With a groan, she fell over and fainted.

“Ember!” Mira cried. Then she turned to Geodude, her hazel eyes darkening with fury. “You’re mine now.” She growled, pulling an empty Pokeball from her belt. With an angry cry, she threw it at Geodude.

Desperation, even in a weakened Pokemon, can do wonders. Geodude saw the Pokeball coming for him and knew one thing-he didn’t want to be captured. With the last of his strength, he threw himself out of the way with his muscular arms-

-revealing the Pidgey behind him!

“No!” Mira cried, but it was too late. The poor Pokemon had no time to flee. With a brilliant white flash, Pidgey was sucked into the Pokeball.

The Pokeball shuddered as the terrified Pidgey tried to escape.

Mira knew there was no way that Pidgey would stay in, and it was true. With another white flash, the Pokeball snapped in two halves and released a very unhappy Pidgey.

"Seems like every Pokemon around here is like the old guy in Viridian, huh?" Mira grumbled as the little bird whipped up a powerful Sand Attack. Soon everything was covered in choking, blinding sand. Mira knew Ember couldn't help her this time. She would have to do this Safari-style.

Mira picked up the nearest weapon-a rock. Or, actually, a Geodude...

"You were annoying anyway," she muttered to the unmoving weaponry. The sand was already settling, and she could see the outline of a bird getting bigger and bigger. At the last second, Mira thrust Geodude in front of her.

THONK!

"PIIIIIIID!"

Being Pidgey at that moment was like being a little Mustang Convertible going 30 mph into a rock wall. Quite painful, and the fact that the poor thing went headfirst into Geodude didn't really help matters. Pidgey fell to the ground and wobbled around on its talons, dazed. Now was Mira's chance. She lifted Geodude high above her head, intending to knock Pidgey out once and for all, but Pidgey was recovering. Fury burning in its tiny black eyes, it went for Mira's legs with Peck.

"OW! Hey! Stop!" Mira cried. The skin was already being broken by his furious Pecks. Blood trickled into her shoes. But Mira knew what to do and dropped the Geodude she was STILL holding onto Pidgey.

He stumbled back and fell over, nearly fainted from the blow, but not quite. He jumped to his feet and started to walk away unsteadily.

Mira knew she was going to lose Pidgey if she didn't lure him back. But what to do? There were no rocks near enough to be thrown without Pidgey getting away, and Geodude was to heavy to throw.

But the answer came to her in the form of a rotting, horrible smell. "Blech!" Mira muttered, and noticed the dead, decaying Caterpie in a clump of weeds. Maybe, just maybe...

Mira backed up to the carcass and broke off the tail. Ignoring the sour smell, she took aim and tossed it near Pidgey. She'd heard that in the Safari Zone, when Trainers wanted to keep a potential catch busy, they would throw some bait. Why not use that technique out here?

Pidgey stopped instantly at the smell. The rotten Caterpie was like a gold mine to him. First in cautious nibbles, then in entire beakfulls, he was devouring the not-so-fresh meat.

Mira quietly took aim with her Pokeball, then threw it. Pidgey was sucked in without much of a fight. The Pokeball wobbled as Mira stared, hoping that Lady Luck favored her today...
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The Ku Klux Klan, LLC. has not or EVER will have ANY connection with The "Westboro Baptist Church".

Last edited by Larvinator; 01-01-2007 at 07:53 PM.
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  #4  
Old 01-01-2007, 09:54 AM
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Default Re: -~-Painful Plains-~-

Story:
Nice intro. I really like your free spirited writing style; kept me smiling at times. I was a totally thrown off when you switched from catching Geodude to Pidgey at the end, but I like the unexpected change.

Grammar:
Nothing noticeably wrong.

Details:
I like your use of words to convey a meaning. Nicely done. The story could use more description of the surrounding areas for a better ‘picture’ of what we’re reading.

Battle:
The battle for Geodude was nice. But the Pokeball sucked in a Pidgey instead. Heh. Well, it’s going to be hard to determine an outcome without you actually battling the Pokemon. It’s possible some of the embers could have deflected at the bird, but introducing this Pokemon so late in the story with a few sentences is not too good.

Reality:
Could happen.

Tips:
I see a lot of potential in your writing ability and I see you have what it takes. If you hadn’t mentioned Pidgey and stuck with catching Geodude, I would have let it pass. For Pidgey, I really think you need to battle it. The outcome isn’t a failure, I like the story, but you need to add a battle against Pidgey if you want to catch it, or go back to Geodude.

Ouctome- Pidgey Not Captured!

Continue the story where Pidgey breaks out and let’s see what happens.

~Jack~
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  #5  
Old 01-01-2007, 10:22 PM
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Default Re: -~-Painful Plains-~-

I can see what you mean by not battling Pidgey. I just edited it with a Safari Zone like capture, since Ember is not going to magically get up. Geodude works well as ammo, apparantly.
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Last edited by Larvinator; 01-02-2007 at 04:29 AM.
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  #6  
Old 01-02-2007, 04:57 AM
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Default Re: -~-Painful Plains-~-

Heh, throwing Geodude. I like the additionl battle like the Safari Zone.

Outcome- Pidgey Caught!

~Jack~
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