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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.

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Old 02-16-2007, 05:04 AM
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gun6 Offline
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Default Bugging Out

Lol Wurmple.

Bugging Out

It was a seemingly slow day, with drab clouds obscuring the Sun as they inched across the sky. A few children were running around in an empty street, playing tag while filling the air with laughter. A young girl of ten sat on the steps of a brick house on the side of the street, writing in a faded diary that might have once been pink.

"Dear diary," she wrote, picking the pencil up to nibble on the edge of its eraser. She quickly placed the pencil back to the blank page. "It's been pretty boring today, as usual. Mom is still working at the store, so I've been alone today." She sighed, brushing her long amber hair aside to look at the children playing happily away from her. "My mom didn't say that she liked the move either, but it was necessary for us to move for her job." She pondered for a few seconds, before writing "Eliza" at the bottom of the page and shutting the old diary. She stood up and turned around on the steps to walk into her home.

"Hey wait!" A small voice called out, silencing the neighborhood. Eliza turned around to see who had called her, and immediately locked her hazel eyes with that of a smaller girl.

"Do you want to play tag with us?" The girl asked, looking at her with bright blue eyes. She looked just like a child, with big blue eyes and blond hair that came down to her shoulders. She asked again: "Do you?"

Eliza silently shook her head, before saying "Sorry, but I can't... I have to water the plant in my bedroom." The smaller girl mouthed something that resembled an 'Oh', and sadly turned her head back to the group of children she was playing with, her blond hair shaking as she shook her head. Eliza turned back to the door, and walked through, muffling the sounds of the children outside as she shut it.

Eliza paced through the house, a blurred reflection of her shadowing her on the polished wooden floor. She turned around a corner, narrowly avoiding the tan walls as she walked into her room. The girl tossed her diary onto her quilt-covered bed before turning to the only window in the room. She walked over to it, examining five strange leaves inside of a pot that leaned towards the sunlight coming through the glass and waved without wind.

"Hello Oddish..." She said, picking up a small blue Wailmer Pail that was sitting on the window sill. Without a word, the leaves shook back and forth, as if waving to her. Eliza smiled, and began to water the Pokemon, her eyes widening as she saw something creep out from behind it. It had a single yellow horn on its forehead, and yellow buggy eyes. The Pokemon's bumpy body was red with a tan underbelly and it ended with two sharp yellow horns.

"Wurmple!" It exclaimed, before trying to nibble on Oddish's leaves. It was sent flying to the floor as Oddish emerged from the soil in a fit of pain, screaming like the legendary mandrake that some believed it was. He immediately spat seeds out of mouth at the worm Pokemon, who tucked into a ball and braced itself. The worm Pokemon unrolled itself, seemingly unscathed as it launched a poisonous needle towards the Grass-type Pokemon. Oddish took the hit, and winced in pain. Eliza gasped, covering her mouth with both hands before pulling them down to shout.

"Oddish! Use... Sweet Scent!" Eliza shouted, hesitating. "I've never really been in a battle before, and neither has Oddish... I hope that I can do this..." She quickly swallowed her doubts when Oddish's leaves spewed a sweet-smelling cloud of powder around the room. Wurmple's eyes became half-closed, and it began to wobble drowsily. Oddish immediately stopped spinning in a graceful flourish, which Eliza squealed in delight at. He took a small bow before he returned his focus to the battle.

"OK Oddish, use Petal Dance while it's still dizzy!" She confidently said, a spark of hope flickering in her mind. Oddish cheered as he began to spin on one foot while his leaves were coated with a pink aura. The aura exploded in air, forming into petals of energy that were sucked into the miniature vacuum that Oddish was creating while he was spinning faster and faster. Oddish halted mid-spin, and fell down as the petals drifted towards the helpless Wurmple. It snapped out of its sleepy state, and countered by creating a miniature wall with a web of quick String Shots. Oddish stood up, shaking in place and tripping over itself. He shook its head, but only fell down again.

"Oh no! Oddish!" Eliza exclaimed, fear creeping into her voice. "No! I knew this would happen! Now Oddish is completely confused!"

Wurmple fired Poison Stings toward Oddish through the webbing, which was now laced with pink petals caught in the sticky goo. They all hit straight on, ripping through the leaves as if they were paper machete. Eliza screamed, and told Oddish to snap out of it and finish the battle. Oddish stood up, limping as he charged up an attack. Wurmple cried out and charged through its webbing to finish Oddish off with a fortified Tackle attack, hoping to end the battle. It neared Oddish, leaping up onto Eliza's bed and curling into a ball as it bounced up to the ledge Oddish was on. It shredded one of Oddish's leaves before falling down only to bounce up. Eliza panicked, looking around for something to help Oddish with. She spotted the faded diary, and was lost in an internal conflict.

"I have to help Oddish!" Eliza thought, staring at the dull cover of the diary, "But... I've had this diary since I was five, at the same time my mother gave me Oddish. It's the thing that's kept me from being alone this entire time."

Wurmple bounced on the bed again, puncturing the quilt with its poisonous spikes. It slashed Oddish's face, making it lose concentration and collapse. Wurmple fell down again.

"Oddish!" She screamed, frustrated that she wasn't doing anything to help him. "OK Eliza, I know that this diary is important to you, but isn't Oddish more important?" She thought, pinning her thoughts down. "Isn't Oddish the one that's been at your side the entire time? Could you ever say that about this stupid book?"

She made up her mind, and picked up the diary. She grabbed Oddish with her open hand and pulled him off of the window sill. Her hand was nicked by Wurmple's spikes, and she winced, bitter hatred playing through her mind.

"Here goes nothing!" She yelled, swinging her diary at the Wurmple. The diary was shredded on its spikes, cleaving it into thirds, and Wurmple was sent crashing through the window into Eliza's backyard. With no time to grieve over her diary, she picked up Oddish's spare Pokeball and ran into the backyard through the back door. Wurmple was laying in the backyard, bloods from its scrapes mixing with the poison from a broken spike.

"I don't even know if it can survive its own poison at its condition... I have to do this!" Eliza thought, cradling Oddish and a Pokeball in her arms. She quickly tossed the Pokeball at the Wurmple on the grass, biting her lower lip as she stared at the ball shaking on the ground.

"One... two... three..." She thought, patiently waiting.

Around 7000-7100 characters. Grade please.
If you want to challenge my gym, please send me a PM on PE2K or message me on AIM (gun6gun6) ! I'm sorry if I can't respond immediately sometimes. :x

Last edited by gun6; 02-16-2007 at 01:25 PM.
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Old 02-16-2007, 03:10 PM
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FireflyK Offline
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Default Re: Bugging Out

Introduction: More than enough here to teach us about your character. This was good.

Plot: A girl is watering her Oddish… And a Wurmple attacks the plant! This is a nice little change from the usual just finding and catching a Pokemon plots. And, it makes sense. Worms do eat leaves. The bit with the diary was a nice touch.

Details: More than enough for a Wurmple story.

Battle: Very interesting. You don’t see people fight a Pokemon too often, but with a little thing like Wurmple, it’s quite realistic.

Overall: Wurmple Captured. This was a good story. Easiest pokemon stories aren't too easy to have longer grades on, since they're short, I'm afraid... But you did a very good job, and I look forwards to hopefully seeing more stories about Eliza in the future.
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