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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 02-19-2007, 03:18 PM
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Default Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Elegia Calamity, a bounty hunter, goes after a group of irritating Abra. That's when she ends up face-to-face with Echo of Rosamunde, a poacher from a criminal gang called the Banes.

Pokemon to catch:Abra and Growlithe and Lotad
EC's pokemon: Fiexcyrix the Scizor, Neffofe the Rapidash, Bervrawl the Magmar, Oictlu the Octillery.
This is written in a bit of an odd order. This post actually comes last. It occurs here, and the posts after it shows what led up to this. And yes, this story's Abra did die in the Pokeball before she could get help for it... :P But I'm still trying to catch a (live) Abra outside of the story so bear with me here. Creative license and all that!




"Kill it, Fiexcyrix," Elegia ordered, panting. The leather-clad woman was singed from neck to toe, though luckily, her clothing had protected her from most of the fire. The smoke, however, had settled in her lungs, leaving her gasping for breath in the midst of the razed village.

Her Scizor, similarly damaged, lurched forwards. His wings were spread to help himself balance, to stop him from falling forwards as he walked. Still, tired as he was, he still managed to extend a claw to the neck of the rabid Girafarig who had caused the problem, clinging tightly to its frail flesh until it dropped to the ground.

Despite his weariness, the Scizor's eyes remained bright, alert. The rest of her Pokemon seemed to, at the moment, lack that. Neffofe's eyes were as dull as her flames, which were faded to mere embers due to the blood she had lost from the long cut on her flank. Bervrawl, who had sewn it up, looked similarly exhausted. His body was nearly purple from all the smog and poison that had contaminated him, and perhaps leaked into the wound he had sewn. Even Oictlu looked lifeless, though that could be explained by numerous attacks he had suffered. Of all her Pokemon, he had been hurt the worst, as far as direct attacks went. Magmar had been poisoned, but that was a slow condition that would damage him as time went on. Octillery had taken a barrage of attacks at once, and due to Echo's spiteful nature, still more after he had been knocked unconscious, left an easy target.

Her Pokemon were certainly visible, even in this state, and so Elegia Calamity, ne Annie Baker, knew she had to move fast. Recalling her Pokemon, the tired bounty hunter glanced around. Aside from a few sturdy houses, the town was a wreck, a mess of flame, smoke, and rubble. Her muscles ached, stretched almost to tearing with the mere action of taking a single step, let alone avoiding the various yellow bodies on the ground. She couldn't possibly carry any of them home now. She would simply have to leave them there, and hope that the news broadcast would be proof enough for her employer. The Abra she had captured didn't even come to mind. She had forgotten it entirely, too exhausted and injured to realize that there was a reason why she had extra Pokeballs in her pocket.

Dragging herself from the wreckage of what had once been a proud little town, she made her way towards the transportation awaiting her, an ally's Skarmony. The silvery bird watched her emotionlessly, neither pitying her, nor considering the ease with which it could rob her blind now. Once it was sure she hadn't been followed, it allowed her to perch precariously on its back, and took off into the black and grey sky.

Choking on the ashes- she prayed they weren't human ones- Elegia clung to her silver savior as they flew silently away from the wreckage and destruction. She was asleep by the time they reached the countryside, the clean air a relief to her smoke-filled lungs. When the Skarmony deposited her near a small cottage, she awoke slowly, and strained to get inside. The bird had already flown away, leaving her no chance of getting help. Pushing her pride aside, Elegia fought to crawl inside, injured muscles and hard-to-stretch outfit delaying her. The leather had been damaged by the fire, and was stiff and hard to bend. At least, however, it hadn't been pleather, or another substitute. Those would have melted to her skin.

Inside, she had prepared a variety of medicines ahead of time, which lay on the table. A hired healer, a Chansey, sat waiting for them, looking a bit fearful. Elegia didn't have the energy to console her. She placed her Pokeballs on the table, calling out the Pokemon within them, and half fell onto the couch. The pain of the collision knocked her out.

As she fell, the three new Pokeballs rolled from the pouch she had placed them in earlier that day, releasing the confused Lotad, the crying Growlithe, and the Abra's rapidly-cooling body. In a whirl of pink, the Chansey spun, and ran.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-14-2007 at 09:47 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-11-2007, 05:52 PM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Chapter two: Rewards and Reprimands


It was morning when Elegia Calamity awoke, and she was alone. Water whistled in a little kettle, beautiful aside from the chipped area on the side- And the old stains on the bottom, hidden by the stove it sat upon. It had been used as a weapon once or twice, cracked over someone's head, and the brown on the base was from that, not from age. The sides, ceramic painted creamy white with elaborate designs, were damaged from the wall it had hit.

Standing cautiously, Elegia was relieved to find herself almost entirely healed. Better yet, by the time her hot chocolate and toast and bacon were prepared, her Scizor through in flew the high, open bay window. The Pokemon was recovered and jubilant, holding a pouch with far more than the price they'd requested. Apparently their work had been satisfactory, Elegia realized, emptying out the bag. That was good. They had failed to capture the last of the Ludicolo that the targeted trainer had had, as the outlaw's Pokemon had preferred to fight to the death. She was glad, however, that their employer hadn't cared.

When she turned the sack over above the table, several things spilled out. Money, with a bit of a bonus, and another assignment lay scattered on the varnished wood.

Wondering if she ought to start this new task today or simply relax, Elegia glanced at her Pokemon. Her Rapidash, flames brightly colored and small only because it was asleep, seemed much better. The Magmar leaning against her flank was clean, as though he had bathed, and was sleeping peacefully. He was snoring slightly, but not so much as Octillery, who rested in the pool out back, curled around a worn rock on the bottom of the manmade habitat.


Today, Elegia decided. It didn't appear to be a hard task, anyway. There was little danger in dealing with Abra, not when one had experience, and no one needed to be killed or kidnapped for this. It wasn't really a Bounty Hunter's task at all, in fact, or even a Mercenary's. No, it was simply a request that a group of troublesome Abra be relocated or convinced to stop causing trouble, something that was as simple as defeating and intimidating them.

Rather than drawing on a distinct outfit of black leather, adored with red and sometimes even pink designs, Elegia reached for more mundane clothes. Thick brown pants, of a less restricting or tight leather, and a long sleeved shirt, of plain fabric. It wouldn't be fire proof, or even resistant, but Abra weren't fire Pokemon, so that was alright.

"Neffy," She said to her fiery pony, petting her slightly, "Wake up."

Rapidash was the first to wake most of the time, save for Scizor, who was often up at the crack of dawn. Bervrawl and Oictlu were slower to wake- The last in particular, and she actually had to dive in and shake him awake- but had no complaints, either, about not getting a day off.


Breakfast was a quick affair, and a silent one. Talk of preparations was left for after everyone's stomach was full, so as not to ruin the mood. Though she was generally lighthearted, Elegia knew she was risking her Pokemon and herself every time she went on a mission, even one that sounded simple. After all, that was where part of her chosen name had come from. A simple, beginner's task from before she'd been a Bounty Hunter- Just capturing a Makuhita to trade for someone's Roselia- had gone terribly wrong. Seeing Elegia Calamity and her Scyther returning, for the third time, covered in mud, blood, and dirt, the boy had joked that she seemed to attract calamities. From then on, she had adopted that in place of her old chosen name, Elegia Valant. It had seemed rather fitting, too, especially when her tracking career had begun. She always seemed to ride the edge of the storm, one misstep away from a terrible catastrophe. A few times, she would admit, she had ended up caught in that disaster, but somehow, she had always made it out alright before.

Hopefully, she noted, this time would be the same. She knew some hunters who didn't even use their own Pokemon for missions, afraid of losing them, but she didn't feel she would trust any Pokemon she thought of as disposable.

As her Magmar cleared the dishes off the table carefully, taking them to the sink to wash, Elegia stretched, cracking her fingers. The woman tossed her things into her backpack, buckling it on securely to make sure it wouldn't be lost. Taking a last look around for anything she might have missed, Elegia made sure her Pokemon warmed up before they left, too. As usual, her Octillery was the slowest to prepare, as he was coldblooded and still a bit drowsy before warming up completely, but a careful flame from Rapidash and Magmar helped heat him without coming close enough to his body to cause any burns. After a brief glance confirmed that her last Pokemon, Scizor, was ready- and practically bouncing off the walls with impatience- Elegia ushered them out of the house, and locked the door behind them.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-11-2007 at 11:28 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-11-2007, 06:06 PM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Chapter Three: Arriving

Winding hills and breezy valleys were traversed quickly by Elegia and her Pokemon, with little difficulty. The morning air rolled in off the nearby Sea, smelling mostly fresh, if a bit like greasy food-stall treats. By the time they'd reach the little shore-town with the Abra predicament, Elegia felt almost joyful. She was singing, with Bervrawl humming along, when they arrived.

A quickl glance around showed her a very pretty village, bordered by a typical countryside. Unlike snowflakes, identical trees seemed to be a dime a dozen, and Elegia marked a few with different symbols to make sure she wouldn't get lost. Few people appeared to be around, which was odd, but when she got to town, she was that they simply seemed to be staying within the relative safety of the crowds.

The odd looks she usually got were gone, what with her new outfit, and relative anonymity here. No one had heard of her, or if they had, they weren't looking. Strolling past a happy couple and a few brawling children, Elegia led her Pokemon towards the docks. The other, far edge of town was next, and despite her experience, she hesitated when she spotted all the Abra gathered there. The watchman's post was literally covered in them; they sat on the ceiling, lounged on the roof, hung from the various loose beams. Nor did they appear to be sleeping, as Abra tended to spend most of the day doing. They looked mean.

Movement within the group confused her for a moment. The crowd was actually parting, something they wouldn't do for another Abra unless it was higher ranked in the group, and making a far larger space than any Abra would ever need. Wondering if some of the Abra had evolved, Elegia waited cautiously.

What strolled across the roof, however, wasn't a Pokemon. Echo Rosamunde, self-proclaimed second in command of the Banes Gang, leapt delicately from beam to beam, dismounting the conquered structure.

"Elegia," She purred, smiling saccharinely sweetly. "How funny, meeting you here."

Five Pokemon were called out before Elegia could so much as take a breath, let alone command her little group. Ninetales, Banette, Haunter, and Girafarig had been expected, and Elegia's Pokemon were on guard and planning even before they appeared. The fifth Pokemon, however, was a surprise. A little Growlithe, whining, lay at her feet. The Pokemon's demeanor, as well as the bruises littering its body, suggested to Elegia that something wasn't quite right. While she didn't doubt that Echo's training was extremely harsh, letting someone else see one of your own left uncared for was a no-no, even for a member of the Banes. Echo always presented a united front, even though Elegia knew that her Haunter had once nearly killed Banette out of jealousy. The Growlithe seemed to hate Echo, too, but didn't dare to attack her. Occasionally, its whimpers turned to soft, hissing growls, but it always quivered and returned to the earlier reluctant defeat after a little while.

Surprisingly, the two seemed to prefer to size each other up than attack immediately. It was Echo who backed off, letting Elegia know that the woman had something planned.

"I'm here for the same reason as you," Echo said with a shrug, dropping her gaze from where she had been locking glares with Elegia. Too casually, she picked up a rock, acting nonchalant as she skimmed it across the ground.

'She would probably rather peg me in the head with it,' Elegia thought, keeping her eyes fixed on Echo. Her Pokemon would watch Echo's Pokemon, and it was the trainer Elegia was most worried about anyway. Echo, however, merely stepped back, calling her Pokemon around her. The Growlithe was pushed along with them, forced to walk at a clipped pace between the Ninetales and Girafarig, the latter of whom kicked it abruptly in the side when it moved too slowly, drawing a yelp from the little fire dog.

"Get that one." Echo said lazily, actually turning her back on Elegia. Automatically, the bounty hunter tensed, but she didn't attack yet. Echo, for her part, had only told her Banette and Haunter to take down one of the Haunter, which they did with startling efficiency. Haunter's Mean Look froze Abra in place, unable to move, as Banette used Will-o-wisp. The tendrils of flame were placed directly against its skin, with the force of a Flamethrower from the strength and proximity of the attack. The Abra dropped from the roof like a cannonball, only to be caught by Haunter and Banette, who swooped down to snatch it mid-air.

A Pokeball, drawn from a hidden pocket, was twirled briefly on Echo's fingers. Catching it, she clenched it firmly with her hand, as if with the intent to use it. However, a cruel smile spread across her face, and she drawled, "Leave it," to her Pokemon. When they dropped it into the mud, the Abra lay where it had fallen. Its companions didn't seem to notice, or perhaps care, what had been done to it.

Not entirely unhappy about letting someone do her work for her, Elegia set off to explore the rest of the infested area. The sound of fighting followed behind her, though she didn't let it concern her, at least not then. Instead, she trekked off, finally wandering all the way down to the abandoned mill. It was, indeed, in terrible condition, but there was little she could do. Only two Abra were causing the issue, meaning one of those few would have to be caught to help, and the two refused to stop incessantly teleporting when they saw her arriving. They seemed tireless, continuing to move about in random, pattern less teleportations. Scizor's slashes and blunt blows couldn't touch them, Oictlu despised fighting on land as it made him an easy target, and Elegia didn't want to risk a fire. In the end, she was forced to dump the grain through the mill, managing to bury the Abra in it, before digging them out. This ruined the bread supply, however, and in the end, the Abra awoke and teleported away. Sure they'd come back later, but feeling she could do nothing about it, Elegia left. She didn't go far at first, however. Feeling cautious, she stopped to change into her usual leather outfit. It was, of course, easily recognizable, a way to show off, but there was another purpose as well. The suit provided protection.


She had almost forgotten her irritation about Echo as she returned to the town, or the border of it. What met her eyes hadn't been expected, however. A few Abra had obviously been captured, a couple injured enough to rethink causing trouble and left alone, but many of them had been slaughtered. As a bounty hunter Elegia was hardly naive, but the pure wastefulness of the situation seemed obscene to her.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-11-2007 at 09:24 PM.
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  #4  
Old 03-11-2007, 06:50 PM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Chapter 4: Death and Destruction

There was no rage in Echo's eyes when she turned to look at Elegia. Her Banette and Haunter were also calm and collected, though their eyes dripped spite like a Muk oozed sludge. The two gave the Abra they were holding, unable to teleport, one last tug, and then dropped it. Both legs and arms dislocated from being pulled in opposite directions, and unable to Teleport, it hit the ground with a crack, and lay there, splayed out. It looked painful, but the Pokemon only lay as if sleeping, or even dead.

Red puddles, small but eye-catching, lined much of the ground. The bodies of several Abra had been tossed in one place, but not really organized there. Elegia would have glanced away from them quickly, but she feared giving Echo any sign of weakness. Instead, she looked at the live ones, as if assuring herself. She had, of course, killed before, but Elegia liked to think that was with more reason than this had been.

Knowing that sooner or later there would likely be a fight, she ignored that for the moment. Instead, she turned to glance at Oictlu, who was floating in the pond near the watch building. The Pokemon caught the hint, and sent a spray of water at the Abra, knocking many away. They teleported right back to the roof, but were hit again. Elegia assumed that sooner or later they'd realize it wasn't worth it, just like one could train a Skitty with a squirt Bottle.

As though Elegia weren't even there, Echo continued with what she was doing. Her Pokemon seemed to be putting minimal effort into the task, however. Elegia suspected they were saving their strength, but for the moment, she did the same. The weak water attacks were all she ordered, sparing her other Pokemon entirely.

Finally, most of the Abra had fled, save a few who were laying around, and the few Echo was fighting. One of the ones that had been hit from the roof, however, had not teleported fast enough, and lay unconscious, but otherwise not too injured, on the ground. Not really thinking, Elegia pulled out a Pokeball, throwing it at the Pokemon.

It never came close. A Flamethrower from Ninetales incinerated it. Within instants the Abra were abandoned, and Ninetales advancing rapidly, growling as though ready to put her teeth through someone's throat. Elegia, however, was used to the same high speed as Echo, being a good fighter herself. Her Rapidash met Ninetales mid way, giving out a loud whinny and raising her hooves to strike at the head of the Fox Pokemon. The snooty being seemed to almost drift rather than leap out of the way, fur flowing in the wind, and tried to confuse Rapidash. The Pokemon leapt away to avoid the ray of disorientation, only for it to hit Bervrawl instead. The large Magmar had been grappling, hand to hand, with Echo's sneaky Banette, who had been solid enough to fight for the moment. Now, however, it gave a nasty, greedy chuckle, and used Toxic, soaking the fiery Pokemon in purple goop.

Brushing this off with a roar, Magmar spun, nearly colliding with Fiexcyrix. The Scizor and Magmar locked eyes for the moment, as Scizor tried to use Slash on Echo's Ninetales, sneakily attacking from behind. The Pokemon ducked, and then ducked again as Haunter flung a Shadow Ball over its head, towards Oictlu the Octillery.

Attacks flew back and forth, without either side ever getting a clear advantage over the other. The Pokemon continued to fight in a chaotic group, rather than spreading out to fight one against one. Scizor and Rapidash worked together, with Rapidash using a flame attack as Scizor's Double Team'ed clones all tried Fury Cutter, confusing Haunter enough that both struck it. They, in turn, soon split up, with Scizor fighting a losing battle against Ninetales' Fire Spin, which trapped it, as Rapidash was driven back towards the confused and poisoned Magmar. The two fired a combined flame not at the Banette and Girafarig menacing them, but instead over at Haunter, who was still trying to pelt Octillery with shadow attacks.

The struggle did, however, eventually divide up when some Pokemon became too injured to be of much use. Octillery was soon left laying drowsily atop the Pond, only occasionally splashing little spurts of water towards Echo's Pokemon, while Haunter was left lying among the injured Abra with a terrible burn. This was of little consolation to Magmar, however, as the poison seeped into its wounds, and to Banette, who had had its own will-o-wisp attack turned on itself. The teams seemed evenly matched. When Ninetales managed to slash a huge gash in Rapidash's side, effectively immobilizing it, Echo's Pokemon had only just begun to let out a ragged cheer when Magmar had stumbled to Ninetales, getting enough of the abundance of poison covering it from toxic and other poison attacks on the fox, poisoning it as well. When Ninetales stumbled, toppling over, Magmar cauterized Rapidash's wound with a small flame attack, hoping it would clean any poison from the wound. The stitches it gave the Pokemon were wide and sloppy with thick, harsh thread- Battle medicine, meant only to save the Pokemon from death until the fight was over and it could be tended to more carefully. Banette and Girafarig fought on, as did Magmar and Scizor, leaving a draw once again.

Echo and Elegia no longer remained separate from the battle, however. The two had locked knives and fists as the Pokemon fought, even getting in the way a few times. With the battle winding down, the two became more intricately involved. A clang sounded as the steel toe of Echo's boot hit Scizor, whose metal body had come too close to her as it Slashed at Girafarig, and a little throwing knife was embedded in the side of Ninetales when it tried to rise again, to fight. Elegia, however, hadn't been as careful as Echo, who had leapt out of the way to allow her Girafarig to jump in and press the advantage with a distracting Psychic attack. Angry and in pain, Ninetales yowled gracelessly, and flame poured uncontrollably from her mouth as she did so, scorching Elegia.

Tripping over an Abra who'd gotten involved at some point during the battle, Elegia nearly fell, only catching herself at the last minute. It was then that she realized part of the reason she was short of breath was the air. Clearly there'd been a few stray embers at some point in the battle, for the town was blazing in a glow of destructive red and orange, which was spreading towards the fighters at a fairly rapid pace. Choking, she gasped for a minute, before managing to recover. Slowly, Elegia forced her eyes to focus, in time to see the angry Ninetales attack one of the wounded Abra. It had appeared dead, but apparently, it was not; the Abra flew through the air with an inhuman screech as Ninetales slashed open its side. Skin rent like a cut of tender meat, the Pokemon landed without teleporting, near Rapidash. The oft-aloof Pokemon nuzzled it, however, in her wounded state thinking it was someone she knew.

Hoping there'd be no further distractions- Though Elegia squashed the squeamishness that ran through her like the Ninetales' claws had through the Abra- she prepared to try to finish the fight, by killing even, if she had to. Backing up to survey the scene, she thought she had fallen into the pond when wetness hit her foot, before realizing she was still far away. Praying silently that it wasn't blood, she looked down to spot a Lotad beside her foot.

Time was of the essence, and the creature seemed to determine to fight, biting down on her shoe. Swallowing her regret, she stuck it partially through with a little knife, flinging it with practiced ability to her injured Pokemon. With the Lotad on the normally balanced knife the throw was unwieldy, but it worked. Rapidash lapped eagerly from the water in the leaf upon Lotad's head, before the Pokemon tried to spray her, causing Magmar to rouse itself from its poisoned-derived daze long enough to stomp on it, flames on its body as good as an Overheat attack. The poison had caused a fever, and thus the Pokemon flared with heat, at least long enough to knock out the Lotad before it, once more, fell to a dangerously lowered temperature, and went back to being inert.

When she turned back to Echo and Girafarig, knowing her long distraction could have been fatal, Elegia dimly realized that Echo was on the ground, down for the count, and Girafarig was nowhere in sight. Shaking slightly, she nodded to Scizor, who was holding its head as though a headache pounded there. If the Giraffe Pokemon had tried to scramble its brain, this would not surprise Elegia. The woman found the strength to move, however, not wanting to stop for fear she'd never be brave enough to move on again.

Even though this had not been intended to involve killing or other acts of extreme violence, Elegia found herself going through the motions of preparing one of the bodies to bring back as proof. However, with a shudder, she realized it was alive. The Abra had been thought dead twice now, though before Ninetales had slashed it, and its reaction had shown it to be alive. With trembling hands Elegia threw a Pokeball, not even entirely sure she remembered drawing it out of her pocket.

She definitely didn't remember trying to catch the Lotad, either, though when she glanced over to make sure Rapidash and Magmar were okay, it was gone and a Pokeball lay in its place.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-11-2007 at 09:03 PM.
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Old 03-11-2007, 07:39 PM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Chapter 5: The end of the fight?

A shortened yelp sounded in the distance, almost dog-like. Elegia barely even considered it before remembering the little Growlithe Echo had had. While it was sad, however, this was none of her concern, and so she merely glanced off into the distance.

As chance would have it, she did spot the Growlithe, and something that was enough to make her decide to fight. Ninetales, eyes dark red, had bared its fang-like teeth. At first, when it lowered its muzzle to Growlithe's body, Elegia thought it was scaring, or perhaps bullying, it. However, it soon became apparent that more than that was going on. The Pokemon didn't draw blood, like the vampires of stories and movies, but it seemed to be growing healthier, and Elegia could practically see the Growlithe's life force slipping away. Somehow, it seemed to be using a fiery sort of Absorb or Mega Drain attack, gradually regenerating.

Too tired to want to deal with another fight, Elegia looked around for the other Pokemon. She spotted them, still too out of it to fight save for the missing Girafarig, beside Echo. Echo was still unconscious, leaving Elegia curious about Ninetales' loyalty. After all, she had just left her knocked-out, insensible trainer with someone who might want to kill her. Apparently, however, Ninetales had realized that Elegia was in no shape to do so, for she didn't even glance back to check on her trainer.

A weakly tossed rock from Elegia went nowhere near the intended target, who wasn't even close to distracted. In fact, there was no sign that Ninetales had even noticed the attack. Not really thinking anything through- she was too injured to be able to do so, though her outfit had saved her from being charred to a crisp and killed- she staggered towards Ninetales and Growlithe. Thankfully, Ninetales had only begun to sap Growlithe's energy, and Growlithe had very little to start with. The Fire Type was still weak enough that Elegia was able to knock it out by slamming a rock into its head.

Rather than running away or being thankful, Growlithe nudged Elegia, whimpering as he did so. Despite his fear, he tried to stay close to her, but growled when she absent-mindedly lowered a hand towards him. A little concerned and a lot confused, Elegia fought the clouds striving to overtake her mind. No immediate solution came to her, however, as Growlithe paced back and forth, unsure of what to do. Chalking it down to the Pokemon's injured state, she finally lured it over with soft words, only to tackle it. This had been a terrible idea, for her body screamed when it hit the dirt, Growlithe having dodged. Again, however, the Pokemon didn't run away, choosing instead to circle around her.

Her Pokemon were too injured to help, save for Scizor, and so when Scizor spotted her, Elegia sighed. Slowly, her faithful bug walked over to her, wings fluttering randomly in the slight breeze, and lifted the Pokemon. Blood-covered claws patted it lightly, and the bizarre, morbid sight of it soothing the Growlithe made Elegia laugh until the smoke in the air turned the chuckle into a hacking cough. "What the hell, nothing else's made sense today," She murmured, and drew a Pokeball from her bag. "C'mere, Hulk," she mumbled to the runty Growlithe.

The Pokemon let out a soft cry at the sight of the Pokeball, and Elegia shrugged. ‘Normally,’ she thought, ‘I would have fought for it, for that to catch it since… But I’m too tired now.’
Her thoughts didn’t really make sense, and she tried to focus. ‘It’s weak anyway,’ she mused, and put the Pokeball away. This, however, seemed to only make Growlithe cry louder.

“Do you want to come with me?” Elegia muttered, with a grimace. She felt like a stupid little 10 year old trainer, imagining that a creature who barely knew her would be madly desirous of getting to serve her. However, no better what to phrase the question came to mind, and Growlithe seemed to understand. The Pokemon nodded, and then leaned forwards and bit her hand.

Scizor jumped back with Growlithe in its arms, startled at this, but as she spotted Growlithe’s eyes, Elegia figured out the problem. Both eyes stared in random directions, and the whimpering, she would guess, was from pain, from fighting. Girafarig, wherever it was, had a firm grip on Growlithe’s mind. It wasn’t just tearing its mind apart, it had taken partial control, explaining the unstable, bizarre behavior. Deciding to see what effect would be had on the Girafarig if its entranced prey was captured, she touched the Pokeball to Growlithe’s side lightly, not wanting to cause the innocent more pain. However, aside from severing the link, it didn’t seem to do anything else, for nothing but silence could be heard over the sound of the roaring, spreading flames. If Girafarig was hurt, it hid it well.
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My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-11-2007 at 09:03 PM.
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  #6  
Old 03-11-2007, 07:49 PM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

Chapter 6: Desperate Showdown

Embers crackled. Startled, Elegia glanced over just in time to see a flaming stick flying past her head, missing by inches. The heat was palpable, from that distance, and she cringed. She had nearly been hit. The size of the stick showed her that Girafarig was weak- It would have used a building if it could have- but its accuracy and speed were still very good.

Though she knew she didn't even have to give the order, Elegia still told Scizor to find the Girafarig, waving it weakly in a random direction. The Psychic Pokemon didn't have to be anywhere near where the stick had been, after all, to move it.

The Girafarig had been hiding in plain sight, near the edge of the remains of the mill. They had yet to catch fire, but as flames flickered all around it, Elegia knew it would soon. This, however, wasn't her primary concern, particularly after Girafarig had locked eyes with her, before charging.

/Ours,/ The Girafarig hissed eerily, stepping closer, /You shouldn't have been here./

/Get away./ Scizor raised a claw, as the Pokemon tried to catch his eyes. He knew better than to let Girafarig look him directly in the face. In blocking its attack, however, it had blocked its own vision. Girafarig startled Scizor by spinning around, letting its other head bite. Astonished, Scizor flinched, giving Girafarig time to turn frontwards again and use Psybeam before it recovered. The red bug lashed out with a Fury Cutter, but with surprising agility for someone with two left legs, Girafarig leapt out of the way. The two circled each other, making wide, uneven, rings, sizing each other up. Finally, they ended up right beside the abandoned structure the Abra had inhabited earlier.

The smell of burning flesh was distinct, and was what alerted the two to the problem. The place was on fire, and they right beside it. Rather than moving away, however, Girafarig snatched Scizor's wing in its teeth, and ran into the flames, dragging Scizor along. Crying out at the burn, Scizor fought back, trying to use Quick Attack, but Girafarig only absorbed the blow, trying to pull the two in more deeply.

Beams cracked, the building was near collapsing. Having rushed to help, Elegia had to dodge one, before an idea came to her. Lifting the long piece of wood, she leaned over, sticking it into the doorframe, and smacking Girafarig with it. The Pokemon yelped, letting Fiexcyrix’s wing free of its mouth for a minute, and the damaged Scizor tore away, swiping at it with Metal Claw before swooping out the door rather unevenly. The Pokemon, burned and with one wing hanging limp and bleeding, could not fly straight. Worse yet, Girafarig didn't seem as badly injured by the fire, and appeared to be preparing some sort of trick.
__________________

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.



I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.

Last edited by FireflyK; 03-11-2007 at 09:04 PM.
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  #7  
Old 03-18-2007, 08:27 AM
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Default Re: Elegia Calamity and the Echo of Rosamunde

I'm back. :o

Story/Plot: I liked this one a lot better than your last 3-mon story. It was much more original in my opinion, and obviously more exciting. You really know how to come up with an original plot and squeeze every bit of creativity out of it as you can. It was pretty uh…violent, but in a good way. Not that violence is good… :/ Gah, you get what I’m saying. Anyway, very well done, but I only suggest you add some sort of introduction next time, even if you reveal it later on or throughout the story. Especially since this is a decently sized story, I think it’s important to add some sort of intro or background so the reader can have more feel for the character.

Grammar/Spelling: I got so into the story that I didn’t do my usual thorough scan for mistakes. I’m sure I would have noticed any major ones, so you obviously did a great job. You have the same dialogue problem you had in the story I just graded, so I don’t think it’s necessary for me to reiterate since you haven’t even come online yet. Basically, you always do well here, ‘nuff said.

Detail/Description:
Normally I like to point out both positive, and negatives in each section. But, for some reason, I can never find anything bad to say here. Almost every sentence you write is full of vibrant imagery. Oh, and I wanted to point out this:

Quote:
She felt like a stupid little 10 year old trainer, imagining that a creature who barely knew her would be madly desirous of getting to serve her.
I smiled there, that was definitely cliché. You have a great writing style and I’m glad you’re so active as to set an example. ;)

Length: You really like to rely on quality, don’t ya? That’s perfectly fine; in fact, I’d rather see this happen as opposed to someone just trying to make their story longer by throwing bland paragraphs in. It was a tad short, as I’m sure you know, but the story was completely acceptable in place of length. I would still try to reach the limit though. It’s better to have every aspect going for you.

Battle: I’m pretty sure this is the longest battle I’ve read. It was extremely action-packed and kept me drawn in. I really liked how you had a lot of things going on at once. Shifting from scene to scene kept me guessing, and I loved that it was completely two-sided. Really, great work with this.

Outcome: I can’t say I was surprised…Abra, Lotad, and Growlithe, all captured! It looks like you could start your own zoo if you wanted to. ;P

Sorry, this was a little of a short grade, but I couldn't really find enough negative things to say. :/
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