Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 08-04-2004, 04:55 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Exclamation <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Ancient Supreme Battles
This story continues the adventures of different trainers and their beloved Pokemon from the previous series, Critical Advanced Battles. Upgrading the higher, evolved Pokemon, these trainers now experience different criterias in their lives with the mixture of fossil Pokemon, fully evolved Pokemon, and even the rarest dragons out there. Facing many battles against these wild Pokemon, these trainers now have a destined dream to capture them using skills, talent and love for their Pokemon. Hope you enjoy this!

*Any grade is welcomed to grade my stories, but if a grader reserves a chance to grade it, I'll give them only four hours to grade it. Afterwards, they are cancelled and any grader is welcomed to grade, including theirselves. Thanks.*
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-04-2004, 04:59 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Stephen was traveling towards the Pokémon Laboratory in New Bark Town, highly excited about the event he was now taking in. The teen was wearing a long, white lab coat with an ID tab with six numbers on them, along with his name. He was wearing white jeans, with expensive brown shoes to end the outfit altogether. Stephen had brown curly hair with hazel eyes. His skin was of a lighter complexion and he was nearly fifteen years old.

Stephen had quite a rare collection of Pokémon, since he always loved them. The teen, however, loved to research about Pokémon as well. He went out to train for many months, but during this time, since the competition was nearing, he decided to work in Professor Elm’s lab to earn money, plus to find out more about Pokemon. But, this wasn’t the reason to why he was returning there this time around.

During the time he was gone out to train, Professor Elm, Professor Ivy, Professor Birch and Professor Oak had recently invested, and soon purchased, a Revivification Chemical Machine. This professional machine only lied in the Oore Region, but they had soon discovered in the The Under. After buying them and having them shipped to Professor Elm’s labs, they had figured out that this machine was to revive fossils that came from Pokémon’s remains.

By using chemicals, special lightings and this machine, they could begin the process of reviving a fossil. But the reason they called over Stephen was because nearly six years ago, when he first started his journey, he had noticed that there was some type of fossil in a museum located in Pewter City. Once finding that fossil, ever since today, he had kept the fossil in his bookbag so only he could know about it.

Now, they had researched about the hidden fossil Stephen found in Pewter City, and shockingly learned that he had stumbled onto an Aerodactyl Fossil. An Aerodactyl was of the rock type and flying type group. This Pokémon existed several years ago, and would sail through the skies in search of prey at nighttime. Using its large wings, it would harshly swipe its enemies with its wings, and claws near the tip of its wings.

Aerodactyl became extinct along with the other ancient Pokémon known as Kabuto, Kabutops, Omanyte, Omastar, Anorith, Armaldo, Lileep, Cradily and Relicanth. From then on, whenever rangers or researchers would try to find these Pokémon, only their fossils would be discovered in deep deserts, arduous valleys or the depths underwater. So now that these four Professors had known someone personally with the Amber Fossil, which it was called, they could try out their machine and see if they could revive the beloved Aerodactyl that bounds for new life.

Stephen continued on towards New Bark Town, still traveling through Route 102. This place was very plain; trees littered the area, the grass was green and fresh, plus there were Pokémon activity around. The teen sniffled the air, pleasantly enjoying the fresh pine scent that had been carried from the pines, and had been floating in the air magically. Pink flowers had been blooming beautifully, the sun beaming on them in sheer pride. It was a warm day, so that was why Stephen was enjoying it so much.

He continued his way on, noticing a small puddles of water in the grass areas. Patches of dirt made up the road, so Stephen walked on this path instead of walking through the grass and getting his outfit stained with a greenish color. Suddenly, from a nearby bush, the shrubby began to rustle. He swiftly turned his head and noticed this action, causing a quick reaction for reaching for his Pokéball.

Soon, a wild Pokémon appeared from behind the bush. This Pokémon had long, black ears with the inside being a deep red color. It stood on its striped brown and dark brown tail, its tail looking big and powerful. Its arms and body shape was like when a flying squirrel would glide from one tree to tree, its body spread out farther. Its body was a brown color and its stomach had a beige circle on it, with the center being brown. The Pokémon’s eyes were black and tiny, ending the details of itself.

“Sen, sen sent!” the Pokémon bellowed in a loud voice. Kevin took out his red contraption and pressed the blue button that was located in the center of the white circle. After pressing, the device opened a red door and folded back, revealing white buttons and a black screen. He then focused the clear vision glass on this wild Pokémon, and its image was now appearing on the black screen. Afterwards, a mechanical voice began announcing the Pokémon’s data and then saved it.

{Sentret, the scout Pokémon. Sentret uses its tail to smash its enemies, and to perform its Iron Tail attack, which is learnt how through training with its trainer. Sentret also use its tail to level it off the ground, helping it to call its local friends whenever in severe danger. Sentret can be underestimated because they don’t learn much attacks. However, when evolving into Furret, this Pokémon becomes one of the best pure normal-types out there when it comes to speed and strategic battles. Sentret only evolves into Furret, its final form.}

“So this is a Sentret. Now I see why people,” Stephen murmured, “capture this Pokémon. It doesn’t look as powerful as the Pokedex says. Ah, oh well…my dreams right now are to get to that lab and revive this old Aerodactyl fossil!”

Sentret sat its body on the green fresh grass as Stephen began to pick up speed as he walked steadily. Almost reaching New Bark Town, he began to wonder what they were going to do with the Aerodactyl, if they could successfully revive it. First, they would have to mix the right chemicals that would contain many minerals that held nutrients in them. Another type of chemicals would have to have some type of transformation minerals that could transform the Pokémon with success. But knowing those four Professors, they probably had the chemicals ready for about three days now, and were just waiting for his presence.

Finally, Stephen had walked into the beloved New Bark Town. It had a white platform, with a river heading east of the town. Two homes, with red bricks and black roofing shingles, were apart of this town, one being the home of Professor Elm’s. They had nice clean windows for their homes, with red roses opening for the bright sunny day. The laboratory was near the river and looked exactly the same as it usually did.

The brick coating was white and the windows were a taint gray color. The two doors were side by side, coated with a vanilla white color. The roof shingles also had this vanilla white color. Eagerly, he got out two clean, glass beakers and made his way onto the Pokemon Laboratory, where he barely knew was opportunity would come for him just this once.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.

Last edited by Scorch Ry; 08-13-2004 at 07:53 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-04-2004, 09:37 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Post Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Stephen determinedly walked into the Laboratory, noticing the same looks it has. There were many flowers pots around that grew Hostas plants. The marble floor had just been cleaned; the teen could smell the fresh pine mountain aroma. The windowsills were a goldenrod white tint and were holding various items, such as pencil cans and loads of blue and black-inked pens. The roofing was coated that goldenrod white color as well, which matched the outcome of the laboratory entrance room perfectly.

Stephen looked around, noticing that Professor Elm had reorganized the lab to his likings. The machines had been moved to the room Stephen was standing in, which made it more convenient for him to do researches while jotting down notes on the fancy brown table. He would usually run from the back room, where the machines used to be located, to the entrance room to take notes. This would get very tiring some days, so by doing this, it would make more researches possible and more note taking.

The same fancy brown table was there, located in between two new pieces of technology that wasn’t there last time the teen worked here. Both machines, located on the right side and left side of the brown table, had a stand that held several gray buttons. Each button had their own specialized picture, so the operators of the machine could detect which buttons to use. They also had a cylinder shaped glass that had a steel red top on it. There was, however, an opening on the red steel top that looked as though it would open if you placed something on it.

“Looks like these two machines are the ones that the four Professors invested recently,” Stephen whispered, “so I’m guessing that we’ll get to work immediately.”

Then, he eyed the four Professors walking into the entrance room. The first one he saw was Professor Ivy; a tall, light skinned woman who had such beauty. Her hair was a purple color and long, while she wore glasses. Her lab outfit was a skirt lab coat, so it could perfectly fit her appearance. She wore purple heels with its lab thread to match her purple contacts she wore. Professor Ivy was the recent Professor of the Orange Islands Lands.

The second person was Professor Birch, who was the Professor of the Hoenn Region. He had crazy brown hair that spiked everywhere. He was a more buff man that Professor Elm and Oak. He had hazel eyes exactly like Stephen’s. His legs were strong, and he was nearing a lab jacket with beige shorts. He ended his outfit with brown sandals.

The third professor was called Professor Elm, who was the recent Professor of the Johto Region, in New Bark Town. He was rather skinnier than the bunch. He had teal-colored hair to match his teal shoes. He wore large glasses that actually fitted him perfectly. He was wearing an all white lab coat, with several pens and tags clipped to his collars and pockets.

The final person Stephen saw walk into the room was Professor Oak. Professor Oak was the first Professor Stephen had encountered. Professor Oak had gray and white colored hair. He was getting older now, since it had been six or seven years ago when they first met. Professor Oak had a square-shaped head structured. He had black eyes and wore black shoes to match. He was wearing a white lab coat, with white pants. So, all four Professors were chatting about something when they had noticed Stephen had arrived.

“Well, look who’s here,” Professor Birch announced, “it’s our Stephen! How have you been?”

"Hello, young Stephen," Professor Oak said, "I haven't seen you around lately."

"Probably because he's been working on his training." Professor Ivy replied, "So, how have you been since you've last been here, Stephen?"

“I've been very good,” Stephen answered. "It's been awhile since I've been here, and I'm excited about reviving this Aerodactyl. So yeah, I've been good."

"Well, that's nice to hear. Now, we need to sit down for a few moments before we begin our revive procedures. We want to discuss our previous success first," Professor Ivy directed.

The four Professors, along with Stephen, sat down at a blue glass table with glass seats. They wanted to discuss to him about their recent fossilization procedures they tried out during the past weeks.

"So, what are your plans, Professors?" Stephen strictly asked.

"Well, we have done some research about the Amber Fossil, which you possess. Me and Professor Ivy had found out some information about special minerals that can help revive the Amber Fossil into an Aerodactyl with complete success," Professor Oak explained.

"So, what I did was jot down the special minerals, then flew out to the Desert Ruins of the Hoenn Region." Professor Ivy continued, "Their sand contains a revival plasma substance, which is the mineral we needed. But, we had to get the desert juice from a Cacnea or Cacturne so the sand would be wet, but fresh. You see, Cacnea's juice is unknown because they use an attack called Ingrain to place them in grass or sand. That's why I had to attack them with my Rapidash's Flamethrower in order for them to gain health by performing Ingrain."

"Then," Professor Birch announced, "me and Professor Elm went out to get the other plants and juices from the Sitrus Berries. The tree that grows these berries use their leafs to chemically help them produce it. This can allow improve the accuracy of reviving. Luckily, I managed to grab a dozen of them myself and squeeze their liquid. Then, Professor Elm grabbed the leaves and use a chemical machine to create their liquid stages. But, we've gotten these chemicals months ago. Here's a book of what we just found out.

Professor Elm slid over a dusty, old brown book. Stephen opened it and carefully examined each picture. "So, I'm assuming you all have the other twenty six substances that we need? If so, then let's get to work," He strictly said, "because we should take our time using the right chemicals and examining Aerodactyl if it comes alive."

“Yeah, he’s right. Although we are proud to see him, we need to mix the right chemicals in immediately.” Professor Ivy explained, “Recently, me and Professor Elm found the twenty six substances can created the base chemicals. Professor Oak and Birch found the other substances to create the revivification chemicals. Now, we should mix them together and immediately place them in the machine before anything unsettle happens. We don’t want to end our lives before we can see a revived Pokémon, now do we?”

All of the Professors agreed with what she said, and they went to go retrieve the beakers that held the chemicals. Meanwhile, Stephen took out the amber fossil. It was a stone shaped fossil that was patched with dirt and bones of Aerodactyl. There are scattered in a single row, which bring curious means to Professor Ivy.

“This is rather interesting. After we can work this out, we’ll take some notes.” Professor Ivy said, slowly examining the fossil.

“So, afterwards, what do you all plan to do with this Aerodactyl?” Stephen asked.

“Well,” Professor Ivy began, “we plan on letting you capture it. You’ve been working very hard to earn money to enter competitions, plus learning about researching. A great way to start is so have yourself your very own fossil Pokémon.”

Stephen nodded determinedly, finally realizing that it would all pay off. Even since he had the fossil, he hoped that he could revive it one day and keep the Aerodactyl. Luckily, this opportunity would come if it would work. Soon, all three male Professors rushed in. Oak was holding one beaker with a bubbly red substance for the minerals. Elm was holding the other beaker with a green and yellow color substance for the revival.

“Hand over the fossil, Stephen. We are about to give it our shot of becoming your next Pokémon!” Professor Ivy announced. She took the amber fossil from Stephen and placed it on the red top. Soon, the glass opened, and the red top lowered down, carrying the fossil on top. Then, both Professors carefully poured the chemicals inside of the glass.

They all waited a few moments, and nothing had happened at the moment. Then, white smoked burst inside of the grass, and the amber fossil magically floated in the middle of the glass. They all observed, fascinated. Then, the smoke dissolved, and the fossil began to shimmer a creative white color.

“This is something magical,” Stephen announced. His eyes gazed upon the fossil as it magically began moving, shifting around and changing form. Stephen noticed the long, arrow-ending tail and the claws on its huge wings. Soon enough, the glowing had stopped, and successfully, the Aerodactyl had been revived.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.

Last edited by Scorch Ry; 08-13-2004 at 07:31 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-04-2004, 10:58 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Exclamation Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

The Aerodactyl’s body was a gray color and looked extremely hard. It had red, large eyes that glared down Stephen angrily. Its wings were large, had sharp edges, and held its claws towards the tip of them. Its mouth was long, and held dangerous sharp teeth on them. It had a long tail and was shaped like an arrow at the tip. Its legs were powerful, and its feet were sharp and perilous. There were scratches throughout its body, which gave it more interest than ever. Stephen did the same procedure with his Pokedex when he recorded Sentret and silently listened to the data.

{Aerodactyl, the fossil Pokémon. Aerodactyl’s two types are rock and flying, which is a deadly combination to have. This Pokémon lived thousands of years ago, but they are becoming more and more ever since researchers found ways to revive the Old Amber fossils. Aerodactyl can learn great attacks, including Wing Attack, Hyper Beam, Ancientpower and Agility. Aerodactyl isn‘t capable of evolving at the moment.}

"This is remarkable! Our work is just magnificent in this lab!" cheered Professor Ivy, "After all of that hard work to get those liquids and substances, it payed off greatly with a gift of a revived Aerodactly!"

The Professors, along with Stephen, began to examine the fossil beast. As Aerodactyl eyed the smaller human angrily, Stephen noticed that it was doing this. He wanted this Aerodactyl, but it would be hard to handle. "Professors, why don't you all keep this Aerodactyl? I mean, it would be great because you all could handle it better than me, plus research about it everyday," Stephen stated.

Professor Oak nodded. "If that's what you want to do, then that's okay with us, I guess. But, you are always welcomed to capture it when you are ready to," he announced.

Professor Birch, Ivy and Elm were looking through a magnifying glass, examining the scratches on its body. Then, they began to look at its claws in its wings, noticing that there were bones to its arms that was clearly visible in its wings. Its teeth were very sharp, having pointy edges.

Professor Oak grabbed his red laptop computer and pulled up the official data of Aerodactyl. "Aerodactyl's attacks are good." He stated, "It can learn Hyper Beam, Take Down, Agility, Wing Attack and a special move called Ancientpower. The data says that Ancientpower was inherited from Aerodactyl after fighting with a Kabutops and Omastar. It spun in the air, then struck the ground with its head to make the earth move. This allowed rocks to strike Kabutops and Omastar. This is fascinating!"

"Stephen, you stay here." Professor Ivy directed, "We are going to record this success on our websites. You can look at it and make sure it doesn't try anything sneaky." Stephen nodded, while the Professors ran into the back room. Just then, the teen's eyes quickly directed over to the Aerodactyl that had been revived moments ago.

“Aero!” Aerodactyl screeched, staring at Stephen. Before any of the Professors could come back, the striking rock Pokémon shot out its wings, shattering the glass into pieces. They crashed on the ground, arousing attention from the Professors.

“He probably broke the beakers,” Professor Elm said. They looked, and saw that glass was on the floor, although they only saw a little. They continued typing up entries on their computers, which held many facts about fossil Pokémon.

Stephen quickly ran into the back room to retrieve the Professors. "Professors, Aerodactyl has gotten out from the glass!" Stephen screamed.

They all gasped and quickly ran out of the back room and into the main hall, noticing that the glass was scattered on the floor. Professor Oak and Professor Birch shook their heads worriedly.

"Aerodactyl must have been angered that it was in a surrounded area. It must be stopped before anything happe-" Before Professor Birch could finish, there was a loud crash outside. They hurried out, seeing that Aerodactyl had knocked down the trees nearby the lab.

"This is horrible!" Professor Ivy screamed. Aerodactyl shot out a stream of orange electric, dragony power that struck a huge tree, knocking it down. They all ran away from the lab, because the tree had fell onto the Laboratory's roof, collapsing it. The shingles fell all inside of the lab, saddening the Professors.

"Stephen, you have to catch this Aerodactyl," Professor Ivy said, "because if you don't, imagine what horror it can do!" Stephen thought about it for a second, seeing that it was his choice. But, he couldn't let this creature destroy the town!

Stephen reached for his Pokéball; he knew that this would be the perfect time for him to capture the Aerodactyl, even though he was frightened that it wouldn't obey him if he managed to capture it. As he noticed it soaring in the air, he threw off his lab coat, revealing a red t-shirt he was wearing. He then threw out the Pokéball, which spun in the air rapidly. It then opened, releasing a large white glowing figure. The glow faded away, revealing Stephen’s almighty Charizard. Aerodactyl stared into Dragonite’s ruby eyes and leveled down towards it. Both starting angrily, they had began their battle immediately.

“Charizard, let’s start things off with Fire Punch!” Stephen ordered.

The fire dragon’s claws were balled into a fist, right after flames erupted from it. Burning with red and orange colors, Charizard flapped its carroty wings and began to level off from the ground. Aerodactyl stared down Charizard and flew away, dodging the fiery fist the fire-type Pokémon launched towards it.

Aerodactyl’s wings then began to shimmer a fantastic white tint. Gliding around angrily, it straightened out its wings and soared down towards Charizard. Charizard was hit from Aerodactyl’s attack, hitting the ground roughly. Stephen had realized that the fossil rock Pokémon had performed a Wing Attack, which was impressively strong.

“Charizard,” Stephen yelped, “don’t let this Aerodactyl get the best of you! Use your Flamethrower attack!”

Charizard blew out a hot stream of burning flames towards Aerodactyl, striking in straight in its stoned belly. Aerodactyl, however, shook off the attack and soared high in the air once more. Aerodactyl’s wings glowed once more, and it flew down and nearly struck the fire dragon Pokémon. The fire-type managed to dodge the flying dinosaur Pokémon’s attack, which impressed his trainer.

“Charizard, try your Slash attack!” Stephen strictly ordered.

Charizard’s white nails sparkled as the flying dragon soared away towards Aerodactyl. However, the flying creature had more speed that Charizard, so it flew around to confuse it. Then, Aerodactyl managed to fly behind Charizard and tackle it, making Charizard fly towards the ground. However, Charizard swooped down and slashed Aerodactyl, making it fall towards the ground.

Aerodactyl hit the ground, but immediately got up. Standing of its long, sharp-clawed feet, the rock flying Pokemon flew towards Charizard at top speed. It then tackled the fire dragon straight in its stomach harder, with Charizard crashing towards the ground quickly. Charizard struck the ground, being hit from Aerodactyl’s Take Down attack. Aerodactyl screeched loudly and took off towards Charizard once more.

“Charizard, use Dragon Rage!” Stephen ordered.

Charizard opened its mouth, and an orange electrical sphere formed in its body. It then began to expand in size as Charizard blew in more dragon power. Aerodactyl glided around the blue skies, wondering what the Charizard was about to do. Deciding to perform another attack, the fossil dinosaur Pokémon soared down towards the fire-type.

Charizard suddenly released the large sphere as it glowed and shimmered with electricity. The sphere traveled towards Aerodactyl, but the fossil Pokémon glided to the right, dodging the Dragon Rage attack. Stephen began furious; Aerodactyl had the advantage because it could easily dodge attacks that would launch towards it in the sky.

Once more, Aerodactyl’s wings glowed a magnificent white color as it silently flew down towards the ground, heading directly towards Charizard. It determinedly looked into the eyes of the fiery dragon, and angrily screeched out another cry. Sailing towards Charizard, as it reached lower grounds, the fire-type tricked Aerodactyl and stood there. Thinking logically, Charizard launched into the skies, making Aerodactyl fall and crash into the ground.

“Charizard, that was perfect timing!” Stephen complimented. “When it comes to thinking, you have a mind like myself, which I’m thankful for.”

Charizard smiled nicely, and then stared into the red eyes of Aerodactyl. Both Pokemon were breathing heavily from their attacks, but were ready for more assaults. Aerodactyl got up, and opened its mouth wide-ranged. A yellow ball formed in Aerodactyl’s mouth, beaming with beautiful golden colors. As it stared at Charizard, it then shot out the ball into a stream of full electric worthy power. Soon, the attack launched for Charizard, with a worried look on Stephen’s face.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.

Last edited by Scorch Ry; 08-13-2004 at 07:50 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-04-2004, 11:27 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Post Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

The Hyper Beam attack, which was Aerodactyl’s last attack, soared away towards Charizard. Luckily, the fire dragon flapped its wings and soared upward, letting the Hyper Beam strike the sky below its body. Aerodactyl began getting exhausted from the attacks on it, beginning to breathe abnormally. Charizard lowered down towards the ground, facing Aerodactyl’s face.

Aerodactyl abruptly struck Charizard in its stomach, with Charizard hitting the ground as roughly as Aerodactyl did. The fire-type Pokémon faced the flying dinosaur Pokémon, both glaring down one another. Stephen became aware of the fact that Aerodactyl was beginning to get tired, and since he wanted to research about this, he needed to end this battle happily, yet the right way determinedly.

“Charizard, let’s use Flamethrower once more!” The teen screamed.

Charizard opened its orange mouth angrily, and then blew out a stream of ravenous burning flames towards Aerodactyl. Aerodactyl managed to get away from the hot stream of fire, flying more slowly that usual. Charizard then directed its Flamethrower attack towards Aerodactyl in the sky, which was a clear direct hit.

Aerodactyl, however, set its wing on its side and headed towards the ground. Spinning furious, it struck the ground with its head, and magically, tons of boulders came from the sky, striking Charizard hazardously. The flying dragon fell to the ground, hurt from the attack Aerodactyl used called Ancientpower.

“That Aerodactyl is tough,” Stephen thought, “but it is getting weaker in its flying abilities. Perhaps if I just give Aerodactyl tons of attacks, attack after another, it will eventually fall to the ground. But maybe Charizard can use its secret weapon.”

He then burst out, “Charizard, let’s bring down this Aerodactyl with your Wing Attack!”

Charizard’s wings glowed a magnificent white color as it darted away in the sky. Aerodactyl was hurt from Charizard’s Flamethrower attack, but was still ready to take more damage. However, it was immediately struck with Charizard’s glowing wings, falling towards the ground once more. Aerodactyl spun towards the ground, but instead of using its Ancientpower attack, it just fell on the ground.

Breathing heavily, Aerodactyl laid helplessly on the ground, exhausted from the battle. Although it was just revived, it fought a great battle. But, Stephen watched as Charizard spun in the air and blew out flames in a spiraling sensation. The flames struck Aerodactyl on its back, burning its way into faint.

Quickly, Stephen threw out an empty Pokeball. The glossy orb struck Aerodactyl and opened, sucking the flying dinosaur into it. It magically closed and peacefully rocked back and forth…
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-05-2004, 05:13 AM
Jack of Clovers's Avatar
Jack of Clovers Offline
~lil leprechaun~
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: the world of fantasy...
Posts: 10,388
Send a message via ICQ to Jack of Clovers Send a message via AIM to Jack of Clovers Send a message via MSN to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Yahoo to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Skype™ to Jack of Clovers
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Nikki will be test grading this story. please wait for her to post her grade. i will then post my grade (which is official).

good luck, impress me with your grading.

~Jack~
__________________
Thanks PE2K for all the memories.

-| Links |-
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-05-2004, 04:05 PM
Pokemon_Master_Nikki99's Avatar
Pokemon_Master_Nikki99 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In The Sky With Dragonite
Posts: 227
Send a message via AIM to Pokemon_Master_Nikki99
Talking Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

O.K,I will try my best!Remember,the grade isn't official!

Story:8/10
Interesting story line.I liked the idea of going too the lab too revive the fossil.An overall great storyline,I couldn't have thought of this!

Shiney Advice:Maybe slow it down a bit,let a few more things happen.

Spelling/Grammar:8/10
I noticed a few things misspelled,but often it was grammar.For example,this sentence:

She wore purple heels with its lab thread to match her purple contacts she wore.

'her' should be 'the' purple contacts she wore.

Shiney Advice:You did good in this area,proofread and you will find a few mistakes though.

Detail:9/10
Goodness!It felt like I was actually IN the story!A couple of things you could have described,but other then that it was incredible!Brimming with detail!

Shiney Advice:None for now!This was great!

Battle:9/10
It was an amazing battle,you desribed it greatly.One thing that got too me was that you said you threw a Pokeball that realeased a Dragonite,and at the end of that paragraph you were talking about Dragonite,but then you told a CHARIZARD too use Fire Punch.It was obvious you used Charizard,but it would've been better if you try too remember which Pokemon you want too use.Other then that,it was marvelous!A bit more length could've been tacked on,maybe a few more paragraphs,but other then that it was incredible!

Shiney Advice:Tack on a couple of more paragraphs,maybe,but it was magnificent!

Overall:9/10
This was overall an almost-perfect story.I liked it alot,it felt like I was there with such detail and overall..well,I can't describe it,but it was an awesome story!

|89/100 Aerodactly Captured!|
__________________
Moving On,Moving Up
As a girl fused with a Houndoom travels through the region,she learns about taking care of Pokemon. Soon,she hears about an evil organization planning to freeze all of the region Ona. In this situation,she is forced to work with the humans she feared and hated before to save the sacred region. Can she do it?
Kara And Circe-Houndoom Hybrid and Black and Orange Torchic-Working Together With A Special Bond

Last edited by Pokemon_Master_Nikki99; 08-05-2004 at 04:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-05-2004, 05:41 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Thanks for the grade, Nikki. And I wish the best of luck for you passing your grading test. Now, I know I could have added a few more paragraphs in for Charizard vs Aerodactyl, but what I wanted to express was that Aerodactyl couldn't be that strong at the moment since it was newly revived.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-06-2004, 02:14 AM
Pokemon_Master_Nikki99's Avatar
Pokemon_Master_Nikki99 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In The Sky With Dragonite
Posts: 227
Send a message via AIM to Pokemon_Master_Nikki99
Talking Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Your welcome,and thanks.Aahh,so thats why.True there,but my grade stands final.Wish I could change it,but no go.I hope I get the answer soon,I would love too grade!!!

**Shiney**
__________________
Moving On,Moving Up
As a girl fused with a Houndoom travels through the region,she learns about taking care of Pokemon. Soon,she hears about an evil organization planning to freeze all of the region Ona. In this situation,she is forced to work with the humans she feared and hated before to save the sacred region. Can she do it?
Kara And Circe-Houndoom Hybrid and Black and Orange Torchic-Working Together With A Special Bond
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-07-2004, 06:53 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Well, hopefully, Lil_Lep will get around to grading it so we can both know whether I catch the Aerodactyl, and whether you pass or not.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-11-2004, 06:00 AM
Jack of Clovers's Avatar
Jack of Clovers Offline
~lil leprechaun~
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: the world of fantasy...
Posts: 10,388
Send a message via ICQ to Jack of Clovers Send a message via AIM to Jack of Clovers Send a message via MSN to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Yahoo to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Skype™ to Jack of Clovers
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

{insert 'excuss for lateness' here}

-story-
when the your character meets with the Profs, i expected more 'hellos'. kinda a downer to me...
interesting plot to have a fossil Pokemon revived. haven't read one of those yet.
i like how Aerodactyl shot out of the lab--although, predictable.
i feel you need more story portion.

-grammer-
instead of saying 'the teen' all the time, you can use 'he' instead
"So now that these four Professors had knew someone..." known
"There were many flowers pots around they grew Hostas plants." ??
"carroty" not a word, use carrot-like
otherwise, it's ok--i suggest a re-read.

-detail-
wonderful
however, there isn't much from the story to show Stephen's characterization.

-battle-
dang. you sent out Dragonite and yet Charizard is the one battling?? that scores way down for you. as a writer, you are to re-read what you write and to miss this obvious mistake will cost ya.
the battle length is fine and good.

-realty-
Aerodactyl just forms out of thin air from a bone.... you tell me it's real. lol
as much as you want to have Aerodactyl for the URPG, don't change the show characters to get it.
"“Well,” Professor Ivy began, “we plan on letting you capture it. You’ve been working very hard to earn money to enter competitions, plus learning about researching. A great way to start is so have yourself your very own fossil Pokémon.”"
a professor is not going to say this. i refuse to believe that. and even if Ivy says that, the other Professors would disagree. the professors are not going to give you an Aerodactyl. simple. they will want to study and research it.
Furret is by far NOT the best pure Normal type {upgrade that Pokedex mr. stephen} lol

-tips-
your attention to realism lacks heavily. a fossil Pokemon is not something that comes around every day and if it's not realistic enough in Pokemon world, it won't happen here.
what i suggest is that the Professors want to research it but Aero escapes and the only way to stop its rampage in the city is you are forced to catch it by the Professors. it would give you a longer story, which would be better for this hard catch.

Outcome- Aerodactyl Not Captured!

Nikki- I felt you went to easy on this one. Aerodactyl is a hard catch. Maybe I chose a bad story (it was the only one at the time). good grading but just too easy.
see me in a while to get a second try. fake grade stories on your own time and see if they compare to real grades. that's good practice.

~Jack~
__________________
Thanks PE2K for all the memories.

-| Links |-
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-13-2004, 07:54 PM
Scorch Ry's Avatar
Scorch Ry Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: The Muds of Pastoria City
Posts: 1,864
Send a message via AIM to Scorch Ry
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

Well, Lil_Lep, I edited Posts #2 and #3 with a little researching about how Aeordactyl learned Ancientpower, and a little conversation. I also placed a little damage that the creature did to the town. ^_^.
__________________
RESTARTED POKEMON PEARL.

GAME DATA & ANALYSIS COMING VERY SOON.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-14-2004, 10:44 PM
Jack of Clovers's Avatar
Jack of Clovers Offline
~lil leprechaun~
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: the world of fantasy...
Posts: 10,388
Send a message via ICQ to Jack of Clovers Send a message via AIM to Jack of Clovers Send a message via MSN to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Yahoo to Jack of Clovers Send a message via Skype™ to Jack of Clovers
Default Re: <Ancient Supreme Battles - II>

ya, that makes it much better. however, re-reading the battle i noticed it is shorter than i thought. though... my previous grade said your battle length was fine. that's my fault and i won't make u rewrite again for something i said was fine.
next time, longer battle.

Outcome- Aerodactyl Caught!

~Jack~
__________________
Thanks PE2K for all the memories.

-| Links |-
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 04:41 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com