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Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Pokemon RPG's » Pokemon Ultra RPG » Stories

Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-02-2007, 12:37 PM
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Default What's the real mystery?

Intro....


"Long day," Steak said to no one, falling onto his bed. He'd made it to Kysho, somehow. He couldn't believe what'd happened today, but before he could think anymore, his mind slipped off into dreams....

"One Mareep, Two Mareep...." Steak pretended to count. The dream was strange, it seemed fairly real, he seemed fairly awake.

Welcome!

Steak jumped. Only there was no ground. And he had no body. He didn't seem able to talk anymore, either. Just think.

Welcome, this is the portal leading to the world of Pokemon!

"I thought I was already in the world of Pokemon...." Steak thought.

But before I can let you through, I have several questions for you. I want you to answer them honestly.

Steak seemed able to talk again. "Alright, shoot."

It was like an interview. The voice seemed to grow uneasy as the questions progressed.

Your friend is being bullied! What do you do?

"Thwack the fool upside the head, of course," Steak said. Pause.

You are...unable to be described.

"Great, can I wake up from this virtual questionnaire now?"

You don't like anyone to mess with your goals, and try to knock the obstacles away. You don't let much things get to you. You have a great defensive personality, and yet you have a good offense plan as well.

"I like what I'm hearing. So does that mean you'll be nice and wake me up?"

A person like you should be...the Pokemon Aron!

"Hah??" A flash blinded him and knocked him out. Darkness.
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  #2  
Old 03-11-2007, 10:45 PM
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Default Re: What's the real mystery?

Chapter 1....

I wonder if I'm done with this crazy questionnaire thing, Steak thought.

Hey, what's with this freaking breeze?

...

Oh, dude, that's someone's voice.

...

Sounds pretty familiar, too....

"Hey, get up. C'mon, hitting you with a stick is getting boring."

"If you were hitting me with a stick, I'd feel it, smarty," Steak said, opening his eyes.

"Well, you're covered in steel," the Bulbasaur talking to him said, "So I don't imagine you do."

Steak blinked. "I'm not covered in steel, stupi-"

...

"AHHHH!!" He'd taken a look down. His body was relatively the same size as his head, which was pretty much just metal. His back was coated in armor, too, on top of his dark gray lower body. His four legs were seriously small. Nope, no arms. Steak was an Aron. "Stupid voice, telling me I'm an Aron. Hey, do I smell weird? Maybe I've been drinking," Steak said, even though he was only fourteen.

"Steak, it's me. Exophi, remember?"

"...Yep, I've been drinking."

"No, I'm serious."

"Then why are you a Bulbasaur?!"

"Why are you an Aron?"

"Dammit."

They stood there for a moment, not saying anything. Then a Beautifly fluttered towards them.

"My Wurmple...my poor baby Wurmple!!"

"Hey, what's the matter?" Exophi the Bulbasaur asked.

"My little Wurmple fell into a lake! I tried to fly and rescue him, but...but...."

"But?" Steak asked.

"But a Magikarp splashed up and attacked me!" The Beautifly sobbed.

"I don't know what's more shocking, someone being attacked by a Magikarp, or someone fleeing from one," Steak mumbled to Exophi.

"Y-you don't understand! It was unbelievably strong, and...a-and...."

"And?" Exophi asked.

"And it was black-and-white! Magikarp aren't supposed to be those colors!"

Steak and Exophi glanced at each other.

"Are you thinking--"

"Yep. Friggin' Spartos."
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Last edited by Steak; 03-14-2007 at 12:29 PM.
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  #3  
Old 03-16-2007, 02:28 AM
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Default Re: What's the real mystery?

Chapter 2....
Small Lake B1F

"Hey, that was weird!" Said Steak, blinking.

"Yeah, it reminds you of what floor you're on," said Exophi.

"Well that's dumb," said Steak. "Let's go anyway."

So they ventured on valiantly, and all of that brave crap. They'd made it to the second floor when they encountered a Poliwag and a Azurill, battle ready.

"Ready to kick some tail?" Steak asked.

"Only if you are," said Exophi.

Poliwag loosed Hypnosis on Steak, being blocked by the Protect he used before he even glanced at it's twirling stomach. Exophi launched Razor Leaf at both of them. The Azurill was smart enough to use Splash.

'Hah?' thought Steak. 'Protect's still up...hey, not complaining.'

The Poliwag knew attacking Steak would be pointless, so it lulled Exophi to sleep.

"Wake up!" Steak yelled. "Huh. This'll wake ya." BOOM. A large fissure burst from the earth, making the whole area vibrate sickeningly. The lake started to drain. Trees fell. Azurill was smart enough to jump into a crack and get stuck. Poliwag did the same, yet not on purpose. The ripping apart of the ground ended.

"Zzz...bwa? Huh?"

"Morning," Steak said.

"Yeah, hi. Hey, they're stuck in the ground!"

"Yep, their problem, not ours. Let's go."

And they head down the stairs, awaiting the obvious and probably stupid.
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Last edited by Steak; 03-19-2007 at 12:41 PM.
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  #4  
Old 03-19-2007, 12:42 PM
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Default Re: What's the real mystery?

Chapter 3....
Small Lake B3F

"Yo! Anyone home?" Steak yelled.

SPLASH!! A black-and-white Magikarp splashed out of the water.

"WHAT IS YOUR BUSINESS HERE?"

"Ehh...creepy. A Magikarp pretending to be intimidating. Yeah, we've come to kick your butt and get back a Wurmple. 'Kay?" Steak said.

"VERY WELL."

RUMBLE.

Two high-pressure jets of water shot out of the small pond. It became dark.

"Hey, whoa, this Magikarp isn't a wimp, huh? You ready, Exophi?"

No answer.

"Hey, stupid--hah?"

Exophi was gone.

"THIS IS GOING TO BE A FAIR BATTLE."

"WHAT?! You won't give some lady her friggin' kid back, you don't deserve a friggin' fair battle!" Steak yelled. He used Double Team, splitting into a pair, then into quarters.

SPLASH!

A giant tidal wave formed out of the tiny lake ("What the heck?!" Steak yelled.) and slammed onto Steak.

"Grr...I'm draining this place!" Steak slammed himself onto the damp ground, causing fissures to erupt from the ground. All the water fell into the deep cracks, leaving the area only slightly damp. Best of all, Magikarp was left flopping uselessly. "Hey, you can let Wurmple go now and not have to take a beating, if you want," Steak said.

Yet Magikarp wasn't the wannabe intimidating...thing it was a second ago. It was babbling nervously out loud.

"People...crazy people...they changed me...h...help!"

"Yo!" Steak yelled. Exophi had come back from nothingness. "Hey, we know who you're talking about! We can help!"

"W-wha...?" Said the Magikarp.

"Sure, we know who these dolts are, you can help us. You got a name?"

"Yes...my name...my name is..."

Pause.

"What is my name, anyway?"

Steak and Exophi's jaws fell.

"You...you don't remember your name, huh?" Steak asked. "I guess I'll call you...Bob! So Bob, you want to join us?"

Pause.

"I...."
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Last edited by Steak; 03-20-2007 at 10:36 PM.
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  #5  
Old 03-23-2007, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: What's the real mystery?

Sorry you had to wait a few days for this. :)

Story: Yay, it's a Mystery Dungeon story! I actually do not think I've seen this done many times before in the URPG, and although the premise was essentially taken from the game (you even had the quiz in the introduction), it was a refreshing and fun read. The first part was done well, and Steak and Exophi are written well here - their reactions were perfect for the situation, and you can tell they knew one another before. I guess I can't give you many points for originality here, but the story itself was still good.

Spelling/Grammar: I couldn't find any errors here, so you either must be a natural at this, or you also use a spell check document. Perfect marks here.

Length: It actually seems like more than enough for our favorite orange fish.

Detail/Description: I believe there could have been more, but this IS for one of the easiest Pokemon to write for, so I'm not going to harp about it here. Although I know what the Pokemon look like and such, and I've played Mystery Dungeon, it still helps to describe characters and settings. I knew where they were because of the Small Lake B3F (nice touch, by the way), but there could be people reading this who have never even touched the game or seen the show. There was also a high ratio of dialogue over detail. It may not matter for Magikarp, but keep in mind that details are really important for rarer Pokemon.

Battle: It's nice to see that the fish wasn't a complete weakling, and I don't think I have ever heard of one with amnesia. The battle was balanced and very much like Mystery Dungeon, although more attacks and such should be used for future stories. This was nice, however.

Outcome: Magikarp ... Joins the Rescue Team!
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  #6  
Old 03-23-2007, 09:48 PM
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Default Re: What's the real mystery?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Megumi View Post
Sorry you had to wait a few days for this. :)

Story: Yay, it's a Mystery Dungeon story! I actually do not think I've seen this done many times before in the URPG, and although the premise was essentially taken from the game (you even had the quiz in the introduction), it was a refreshing and fun read. The first part was done well, and Steak and Exophi are written well here - their reactions were perfect for the situation, and you can tell they knew one another before. I guess I can't give you many points for originality here, but the story itself was still good.

Yay. :P

Spelling/Grammar: I couldn't find any errors here, so you either must be a natural at this, or you also use a spell check document. Perfect marks here.

Yeah, I'm a natural. :P

Length: It actually seems like more than enough for our favorite orange fish.

Yay. :P

Detail/Description: I believe there could have been more, but this IS for one of the easiest Pokemon to write for, so I'm not going to harp about it here. Although I know what the Pokemon look like and such, and I've played Mystery Dungeon, it still helps to describe characters and settings. I knew where they were because of the Small Lake B3F (nice touch, by the way), but there could be people reading this who have never even touched the game or seen the show. There was also a high ratio of dialogue over detail. It may not matter for Magikarp, but keep in mind that details are really important for rarer Pokemon.

Yeah, I couldn't think of much to put in this area.

Battle: It's nice to see that the fish wasn't a complete weakling, and I don't think I have ever heard of one with amnesia. The battle was balanced and very much like Mystery Dungeon, although more attacks and such should be used for future stories. This was nice, however.

Yay. :P

Outcome: Magikarp ... Joins the Rescue Team!

Yay. :P Lol, thanks.
Thanks for grading, Meg. :P
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