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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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Old 03-04-2007, 05:24 PM
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Default Adventure Log 003

OOC: This was supposed to come after I wrote a Filler story, but since I can't fill enough story for a Porygon yet, I'll just save it for later.

Previously in Adventure Log
  • Sean entered the inter-dimensional Battle Frontier
  • Sean lost at The Battle Factory and Battle Dome
  • Sean unlocked his Spirit Reaper powers and his zanpakutō

Also Note: I am finally going to start the Party Idea I've had for a long time. Naruto fans, you will start seeing Naruto characters. Beware; Those of you in the US or those who don't read the Japanese Manga, may be in for Spoiler Jutsu.

Adventure Log 003

I picked up the red-and-white Pokeball. My newly caught Charmander was inside. I decided to call her Fireflower. I recalled Poe, a purple ghost with stubby hands, feet, and a tail back to her Pokeball. I was ready for my next Battle Frontier challenge, having proven myself to Scott. As I walked to the Battle Frontier, a Blond kid with green clothes was running to a giant tower.

I followed that kid and saw a strange man on top. He had a grey mask and in his hands was a white Pokemon with a yellow star on its head. A third eye on the Pokemon's stomach opened and a strange light enveloped the Frontier. The island was breaking apart! I tried to help, but a portal opened and sucked me inside. I was back in the Gateway Between Worlds.

Suddenly, every enemy I've ever seen before ran out of the red-and-white portal. I curled into a ball to avoid being trampled. They entered every portal in sight and vanished. I wanted to look for an idea of where would be the best place to strike, so I sent out Gengar. Poe used her ghost powers to search for tracks in the darkness.

"What do you see?" I asked.

"Every 'two or more of a kind' Pokemon have come through here," she replied.

I recalled my Pokemon and decided to go through a scroll portal. As I approached, the scroll opened and revealed red squares. I figured it must be in a building. I stepped through the portal and breathed the fresh air. I saw a giant mountain with five faces on it. Four were men, but the last one was female. I began to get an idea of where I was. I looked down and saw a boy and girl. The girl had pink hair, and the boy had blond hair. I noticed they had blue fabric on their foreheads, the fabric had a gleaming piece of metal. I had landed in Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves. I jumped up excitedly, as I hit the ground, I heard a crack. I looked down and saw that I was on a tile roof. The tile slid and I fell to the ground.

The boy and girl pulled the tile off of me. Upon further inspection, I could see that they were Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno. I cleared the dust off of my face and out of my hair. I found myself making eye contact with Sakura. It was a bit awkward because I didn't know what she was thinking. I saw here eyes dart to a Naruto and then to a piece of glass with her reflection on it. I knew she was staring at me because of my eye color. For some reason, people thought green eyes were weird. Thankfully, Naruto broke the silence.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I...I'm..uh," I stammered, interrupted by the growling of my stomach.

"Why don't we take this conversation somewhere else?" Sakura said, still staring at my eyes, "Why don't we go for Ramen? My treat."

For the first time in a while, I thought about food. Naruto suddenly began to beam. We walked across the dirt and I looked at the buildings. The doors slid open and the walls were plain white. I watched the different people running about. We reached a kiosk-like building. There was a sign written in kanji. Thankfully, there was a translation and it read: "Ichiraku Ramen." We walked under the green paper lanterns and sat on some stools. We could see them make the food from the counter. Two people were working, one was a middle-aged man with black hair. The other was a young lady with brown hair. They were both wearing white aprons. I read the menu carefully and made my decision.

"Beef Miso with Pork," Naruto and I ordered simutaneously.

"And for the lady?" the man asked.

"I'll take the Diet Ramen please," Sakura spoke politely.

After a few minutes of painful waiting, the sweet aroma and sight of our food was within inches away from my mouth. The Beef Miso and Pork had brown broth and noodles with pink pieces of meat with brown fat "sweating" from them. The Diet Ramen was a tan liquid with radish, onions, and carrots, all shaped like noodles. I looked for a fork or spoon and saw a tin cup. Naruto and Sakura pulled out white packages from the cup. They tore open the package, revealing two brown sticks. They ripped the sticks apart and held them like a pencil. I suddenly remebered that they used chopsticks. I pulled out a set of my own and began eating. Between bites, we introduced ourselves and I explained every last detail of my mission; Orochimaru, the ShrOUds, the Mecha-storms, and any other important pieces of information. I was rewarded with juicy information from Sakura.

"These 'Pokemon' creatures," she said, "I think some burst into the village. The other shinobi caught them and caged them."

"What!?" I shouted, "You can't cage Pokemon. They are partners with special abilities. We have to save them. First of all though, gather any shinobi who might be interested in this mission, we need all the help we can get."

We split up and I worked on a training course to test their abilites. I set up dummies, puzzles, and many other training devices. Naruto and Sakura brought eight shinobi. The first was a boy with a ponytail and grey jacket. Even though I knew what he was capable of, I decided to play stupid.

"Name?" I asked.

"Shikamaru Nara," he replied in a depressed tone of voice.

"Special skills?" I requested, writing down on a piece of paper.

"I can bend my shadow at will to control anything caught in it," he yawned, "And I have an IQ of 200."

"Really?" I said, pulling out a strategie map, "Solve this situation: The four of us are ambushed by six enemies that specialize in knife attacks. Naruto only has enough energy to create three clones. Sakura has enough strength to instantly kill one enemy with her Taijutsu."

Shikamaru moved the figures respresenting each of us. He implied that he caught three of the enemies with his Shadow Possesion Jutsu and threw a kunai with a symbol on it at another's feet. Naruto creates three clones and has them kill the trapped enemies. Sakura attacks another and kills it. I use my sword to decapitate the fifth of them. I moved the remaining piece to attack and kill Shikamaru, but as I moved him over the kunai, Shikamaru explained the symbol was a paper bomb that killed the final enemy. I decided to pass him, even though I couldn't think of a challenging puzzle. Next was Choji Akimichi, he was a chubby boy with brown hair and a green vest. His ability was that he can grow larger and crush opponents. He was able to pass a test involving smashed open a boulder.

"Next?" I asked, looking at the next ninja.

"I'm Tenten," the girl replied, "I have a mastery of any weapon."

I thought a moment and told her we didn't need another weapons master. She stomped off. This was followed by two more shinobi whose techniques would be of no use to me. Both wore grey jackets. One had a dog that could perform Ninjutsu and the other could control insects. I never liked bugs and the dog peed on my shoes. Next was a boy with black hair and a green jumpsuit.

"I am Rock Lee, Master of the Iron Fist," he said, smashing open a boulder with ease.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm," I told him, "You seem like you could do well on this mission."

The next two were cousins. Both wore white sweaters, had black hair, and big white eyes. Their clan name was Hyuga. They possesed powerful eyesight, useful for searching. They both passed seeing as though they practiced the same style, they fought completely differently. I looked at my new team. We were ready to free the Pokemon and find that portal.

*Joined Party:Naruto Uzumaki, Choji Akimichi, Sakura Haruno, Hinata Hyuga, Neji Hyuga, Rock Lee, and Shikamaru Nara.*
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Last edited by Strawberry Maelstrom; 03-05-2007 at 11:27 PM.
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2007, 11:59 PM
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Default Re: Adventure Log 003

We left the village and saw a semi-truck with massive wheels and about ten thousands pounds of Pokemon in the back, probably in cages. We gave Shikamaru some time to form a plan. He crouched down and put both hands together. He closed his eyes and meditated. When he thought of a plan, he explained it in great detail and we put it into motion. Everybody disguised their faces to look like bandits, except for Naruto. He created and clone and ran towads the truck's blindspot. We took to hiding.

The clone ran in front of the truck. The driver panicked as the clone exploded under the wheels. Naruto slid behind the first pair of wheels and played possum. When the driver examined the body, we surrounded him, holding out kunai and my sword. This gave the driver a look of total fear.

"Drop the cargo and run before we have to kill you," I said in a dark voice.

Thankfully, the driver obeyed without struggle. We removed our masks and dragged Naruto out from under the truck and walked to the back. Neji, the male with the long black hair of the Hyuga clan used his Byakugan to examine the cargo. This was the right truck. He slammed his palm into the lock, weakening the back door. Choji stepped up. Shikamaru held him back and signaled me to step in. I changed my sword so it would be two giant steel gloves. I slipped them into the crack and pulled the doors open. Then, we carried the Pokemon out. I explained to them that each of the shinobi would pick one as a partner and the rest would be free to go. I handed my partner's their Pokeballs.

Naruto was first, he observed a brown Pokemon with slanted eyes. He shook the cage and Abra went crazy with power. The cage burst open. Naruto was shocked by this Pokemon's strength, so he chose it as his Pokemon. Sakura picked her Pokemon in five seconds. Her choice was a Teddiursa for its charm. Neji decided on Mr. Mime, since its Psychic-type powers would make it easy to teach it the Gentle Fist.

Hinata, the female of the Hyuga clan chose a shy little Togepi. Choji chose a Makuhita simply because of its chubbyness. Shikamaru went with the equally lazy Slowpoke. That left Rock Lee, he observed each Pokemon carefully. He opened up a blue Pokemon's cage. I was getting annoyed.

"Hurry up and pick!" I yelled.

"Fine, I will choose this one," he said, picking up his Meditite.

"Now, we gotta hurry and find that portal," I said.

Meditite jumped out of Lee's arms and ran off into the forest. We decided to follow it so I opened the cages and set the prisoners free. The deeper into the forest, the more and more Shikamaru, Naruto, Lee, Neji, and Choji seemed to shake. Sakura looked at Naruto.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Th-this place was where we chased after Sasuke," he replied, trembling like he was ready to explode.

Sakura comforted Naruto as we chased after Meditite. We reached a spot with two giant statues and a waterfall. There was a hole in one of the statues. This was the spot where Naruto and Sasuke fought. Meditite led us straight to the hole. Inside the hole was a portal. We cheered and were about to enter the portal when we were ambushed by none than Sasuke himself. His black hair seemed even darker. His eyes were blood red, he was using his Sharingan. My team trembled in fear. Naruto and I stepped forward.

"Sasuke!" Naruto cried, "W-why are you here?"

"I'm here to seal off this portal," he replied, "Can't have you pests leaving anytime soon."

"And why is that?" I asked, reaching for my sword.

"One simple reason: You're annoying," Sasuke replied coldly.

He tried to step forward, but found himself stuck. A shadow was preventing his movement. I looked back at Shikamaru. Rock Lee, Neji, and Choji stepped forward.

"Team Shikamaru plus one!" he yelled, "Unite and strike!"

So the five of us ran towards the immobile foe. Naruto sped past us and dealt the first blow, a powerful punch to Sasuke's face. The boy was replaced with a block of wood. He reappeared behind Naruto and slammed him in the back of the neck. Choji rolled into a giant ball and began rolling towards Sasuke. The enemy stayed calm and right at the point of impact kicked Choji into the air. He dissappeared and reappeared under Choji and made a hand sign. Sasuke kicked Choji several times, flipped, and then slammed Choji into the ground.

"Barrage of Lions!" he shouted.

Neji and Lee charged in with a joint attack. Thanks to the Sharingan, Sasuke was able to predict their attacks, dodge, and counter. This guy was good. I left my sword in its sheath and called out Ashton's name. The spirit's energy flowed through me. Shikamaru caught Sasuke in his shadow and I moved in for an all-out attack. I held my fist high and made contact with his face. The energy from the attack created a large shockwave and sent Sasuke flying. He rose up to his feet, but so did the others. We moved in a specific manner and successfully caught Sasuke in another shadow. Naruto created two Shadow Clones and had them pour chakra into his right hand.

"I can't believe Naruto is resorting to that jutsu," Sakura thought, "Last time it broke his arm in several spots.

"Wind Release: Spiraling Shuriken!" Naruto shouted.

A four-pointed star with a ball of wind in the middle was forming in Naruto's hand. He charged and Sasuke and struck him hard. A tornado formed, striking Sasuke multiple times. When the jutsu ended, Sasuke was gone. We figured he must of retreated. Naruto was panting hard, but his arm seemed to be intact. We turned our attention back to Lee and Meditite. No matter what Lee tried, Meditite wouldn't go into its Pokeball. I tossed Poe's Pokeball over to Rock Lee. He threw the purple ghost into the mix.

"Uh...name?" he asked me.

"She's Poe," I said, handing him a list of her attacks that I kept for notes.

"Poe, use Focus Punch!" Lee yelled.

Poe's fist began to glow as she prepared a powerful punch. Meditite leapt into the air and fired a black blob at the Gengar. It hit her directly, stopping the Focus Punch. Meditite crossed its legs and began to meditate.

"Use Thunderbolt," Lee commanded.

Poe fired a surge of electricity, but Meditite dodged and fired another black blob. I soon realized what was going on. Meditite's only move that could harm Poe was Shadow Ball. I decided to steer Lee in the right direction.

"Use Substitute!" I shouted to my Pokemon.

In a puff of smoke, Poe turned into a doll. Lee looked at me quizzically. I simply signaled by punching the air. He called for a Focus Punch. The doll's hand began to glow. Meditite fired a Shadow Ball that broke the doll open. Through the smoke, Poe appeared and slammed her fist into Meditite. The Pokemon slid across the ground. Poe began to walk into Meditite's shadow and Meditite began sinking into the ground. Lee looked through the notes for anything that looked remotely similar to this attack. Even I wasn't sure what was happening. Poe and Meditite completely dissappeared.

The only sign of Meditite was a loud cry. Wherever they were, Poe was causing Meditite pain. When they returned, Meditite was shaken up. Poe chuckled like a villian.

"Poe, use your own Shadow Ball!" Lee called out.

Now it was Poe's turn to fire a black blob. Being a Ghost-type, she was naturally better. The blob struck Meditite and caused a massive explosion. The Fighting/Psychic-type was devasted by the blast. Lee tossed out a Pokeball. It sucked Meditite up and we watched and waited for the outcome...

Catching Trainer: Rock Lee
Pokemon to Catch: Meditite

Last edited by Strawberry Maelstrom; 03-06-2007 at 01:24 AM.
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  #3  
Old 03-17-2007, 08:54 AM
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Default Re: Adventure Log 003

Aww, sorry you had to wait so long, Strawberry.

Story/Plot: Very original. I really like how you strayed from the typical storylines you see in URPG. I’ve never watched Naruto or, Bleach is it?, but I still found the story quite entertaining. I’m very glad that you’re going to keep this going. :) It was a little choppy, jumping from scene to scene, but I was still able to pick up the plot and understand it. In the future, try to slow down the writing and give a few more explanations and things. Very nice work though; a fun read.

Grammar/Spelling: You did very well here too. I found very few mistakes. This is the first story I’ve graded with flawless dialogue. I’m very happy to see someone who understands the correct punctuation of it, so again, very nice job. I really saw no major errors with grammar, except for a few sentence fragments, but I did find some misspellings. Try to run your writing through spell check a bit more thoroughly.
Quote:
We figured he must of retreated.
That should be “must have” there.

Surprisingly, that’s all I could find. XD Anyway, you did great here.

Detail/Description: Again, this was excellent. I particularly like how you described the food.
Quote:
The Beef Miso and Pork had brown broth and noodles with pink pieces of meat with brown fat "sweating" from them.
That sentence there made me hungry. ;P I also liked how you brought some humor into the story:
Quote:
One had a dog that could perform Ninjutsu and the other could control insects. I never liked bugs and the dog peed on my shoes.
I really enjoyed that. I’m the type of person who prefers comic writing over the rest. So you get brownie points for that. <3

Length: This was perfect, but I kind of wished it had been longer. Especially since you’re writing a sort of series, it would be nice if you could answer some of the questions a newcomer would be asking.

Battle: This was really good, but it could have been a little longer. Gengar has an obvious advantage, but Meditite is a tough little guy and would probably be putting up more of a fight. You described the attacks very well, I could imagine them perfectly. Overall, you still pulled this off nicely.

Outcome: Major props for originality, and Meditite captured! Hopefully I’ll get to grade another from the series. :) Keep it up.

EDIT: No problem at all. :) And I'm glad to hear that, thanks. <3
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Last edited by EmBreon; 03-18-2007 at 12:50 AM.
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Old 03-17-2007, 02:07 PM
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Default Re: Adventure Log 003

Quote:
Originally Posted by EmBreon View Post
Aww, sorry you had to wait so long, Strawberry.

Story/Plot: Very original. I really like how you strayed from the typical storylines you see in URPG. Iíve never watched Naruto or, Bleach is it?, but I still found the story quite entertaining. Iím very glad that youíre going to keep this going. :) It was a little choppy, jumping from scene to scene, but I was still able to pick up the plot and understand it. In the future, try to slow down the writing and give a few more explanations and things. Very nice work though; a fun read.

Grammar/Spelling: You did very well here too. I found very few mistakes. This is the first story Iíve graded with flawless dialogue. Iím very happy to see someone who understands the correct punctuation of it, so again, very nice job. I really saw no major errors with grammar, except for a few sentence fragments, but I did find some misspellings. Try to run your writing through spell check a bit more thoroughly.


That should be ďmust haveĒ there.

Surprisingly, thatís all I could find. XD Anyway, you did great here.

Detail/Description: Again, this was excellent. I particularly like how you described the food.


That sentence there made me hungry. ;P I also liked how you brought some humor into the story:


I really enjoyed that. Iím the type of person who prefers comic writing over the rest. So you get brownie points for that. <3

Length: This was perfect, but I kind of wished it had been longer. Especially since youíre writing a sort of series, it would be nice if you could answer some of the questions a newcomer would be asking.

Battle: This was really good, but it could have been a little longer. Gengar has an obvious advantage, but Meditite is a tough little guy and would probably be putting up more of a fight. You described the attacks very well, I could imagine them perfectly. Overall, you still pulled this off nicely.

Outcome: Major props for originality, and Meditite captured! Hopefully Iíll get to grade another from the series. :) Keep it up.
Thanks a lot Embreon! I'll be sure to remember what you told me while I work on the next entries.
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