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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.

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Old 03-10-2007, 11:57 PM
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Default Pandora Link

Note: I haven't seen the anime in years, so I don't really know what the attacks look like from there. I've tried to make them as realistic as possible. though. Also, I love concrit, so feel free to go into detail. =D

Pandora Link
Rating: PG-13, for violence

Chapter One: A Dance for Dawn
Nereid wasn’t really her name. Her father named her June, after his grandmother. But she became Nereid to her siblings, because they said it suited her, and it fit the show better, so she adopted it.

The show... Her parents ran a small show with water-type Pokémon, a sort of circus. Nereid had been surrounded by water all her life, and by water Pokémon. When she was little, she had begun helping out by working with Poliwag and Horsea. When she grew older, she moved on to Starmie and Seadra. Water was her life; water had always been her life. She was soaked to the bone.

That was why she chose Vulpix—she needed to dry off. She left home and took no water type with her. She did not tell her family she was leaving. She stopped only once since leaving Rustboro City—at the Poké Center in Petalburg City the night before. Now she was somewhere between Petalburg and Littleroot, in a clearing.

She was not more than ten feet from the path. She was in a well-traversed area. She was in an area well-known for beginner trainers. She was seventeen, and lots of people started training on their own earlier. She was—she was—

She was scared out of her mind.

Alone in the wilderness at night, with only Chi, whom she had just begun to train, even the safest route seemed dangerous. What had been a bright, cheerful area filled with fairly gentle Pokémon was now a foreboding forest filled with eyes that watched her. Rustboro City had never been this dark.

She had not planned to become a trainer—indeed, she would have started years ago is she wanted that—but she did not want to live her whole life at that show. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, and a bit of time as a Pokémon trainer seemed to be a good excuse to travel. Once she saw more of the world, she would know what she wanted.

And now she was staring up at a lazy, deep purple haze of a sky in the middle of nowhere. Three times that night had she started awake at some sound, sitting straight up and sending Chi tumbling to the bottom of the sleeping bag. If only she hadn’t spent so much time in Petalburg City, she would have easily reached Littleroot Town, received her Pokédex, and had somewhere warm to sleep.

She did not stay in her sleeping bag for long—the sky was beginning to lighten, and the shadows were running away, and she couldn’t sleep anyway. So she slipped out of her sleeping bag, Chi emerging a moment after. They both stretched, and Chi nosed at the bottom of the sleeping bad to roll it up while Nereid tried to pick the leaves out of her dark brown hair. She would have to have it cut—anything longer than shoulder-length was impractical for a trainer.

Chi pranced about as Nereid packed up, and just as she was about to return the Vulpix, Chi’s ears pricked up and she stared out into the woods.

“Vulpix,” she said, looking back at her trainer before running off in the direction of whatever she had heard.

“Hey!” Nereid cried, nearly falling over sideways as she attempted to shoulder her overstuffed green backpack and give chase at the same time.

She didn’t have to run far. Chi was sitting in a clearing just beyond the grove, staring up. There was a tall, thin rock in the center, smoothed as if by a very careful stoneworker. Craning her neck, she could just make out a little body atop the column. It was white and green, and although she could not see the crown of its head, she could imagine the pink horns. Ralts.

It was swaying gently, as if in a breeze only it could feel, but the movement was so subtle, had Nereid had not been as close as she was, it could have easily been mistaken for a statue. And in the tiniest voice Nereid had ever heard, it was humming.

It was a single note, but there was a mesmerizing quality in it, and neither Nereid not Chi moved. The Ralts was not facing them—it seemed to be waiting for something. Beyond the column the trees thinned, and Nereid could see out for miles, ending at the point where the sky, now flushed pink and pale purple, touched the ground.

The note changed. It was higher, charged with anticipation, and the Ralts seemed to be standing on tiptoe. Nereid stiffened, looking beyond Ralts, trying to see what it saw.

The sun broke open the horizon.

The Ralts fell into a simple melody; it spun haphazardly, looking as if it would fall, yet remaining in perfect control. It bobbed its head to the sun before spinning once again, waving its arms in peculiar patterns. As the sun rose higher, the dance grew faster, until the Ralts was a whirling dervish of white and green before disappearing completely. Nereid was released from her stupor.

Ralts reappeared before Nereid, and Nereid took a step back, hazel eyes wide.

I welcome the sun, she—the voice was definitely female, and that of an amused child—said.

Not that she really spoke, and not that it was telepathy. Nereid simply knew what Ralts wanted to say.


I can feel it, Ralts continued, settling on the ground. Your challenge.

Nereid’s mouth hung open, caught in the middle of an order. No, she couldn’t let Ralts scare her. “Tackle her!”

Chi took off, paws pressing into the grass, dampened by the dew. Ralts did not turn to face her attacker but teleported as Chi flew through the air. Ralts reappeared as Chi skidded to a stop and blasted the Vulpix with psychic energy. Chi flipped tail over head and landed on her back.

“Chi!” Nereid darted forward, but the little fox was already back on her feet. “Okay, try Flamethrower.”

“Vuuul!” Chi cried, fire erupting from her mouth, the air shimmering from the intense heat.

Ralts teleported away, but Chi circled quickly and caught Ralts as she reappeared. Another blast on energy pushed Chi back, but it didn’t seem as powerful as the first one, as Chi remained on her feet; Nereid had just seen the difference between Psychic and Confusion.

Chi shook her head a couple times, and Nereid bit her lip as Ralts teleported again. Chi’s ears swiveled wildly, finally settling on a point to her left. She charged that spot and caught Ralts as she reappeared once more.

But then Ralts seemed to shatter, and Vulpix was thrown against a tree by another blast of energy.

“Chi, she’s using Double Team!” Nereid called.

The Ralts moved closer to Chi, and it seemed as if she was surrounded—first two, then four, then eight circled around the Vulpix, moving ever closer to the shaken Pokémon.

“Quick! Ember!” Nereid ordered.

Cinders flew in all directions, and the copies shattered under them. The real Ralts cried out, not with her voice but with that not-voice she had been using to speak to Nereid, and immediately teleported away to remove the ashes.

“Quick Attack!”

Vulpix responded immediately, slamming into Ralts at top speed and knocking her over. Ralts teleported immediately, but didn’t reappear instantly as she had before.

“Did she run away?” Nereid said, looking around. If she had run off, then Chi had used up all that energy for nothing.

Nereid felt a sudden weight settle on her head. Do not underestimate me.

Ralts giggled, and Nereid swiped at her, but she had teleported again, this time returning to the column. She was still, centering herself—Calm Mind, probably.

Nereid narrowed her eyes. “Flamethrower, Chi! Knock her off of there! And be careful!”

The flames crackled and twisted around themselves, arcing toward Ralts and scalding her ever so slightly before she had time to relocate. This time, she appeared beneath the line of flames, and steadied herself.

Nereid was pretty sure she knew what was coming. “Move, Chi!”

Chi ran, circling around Ralts, and Ralts turned as well. The air was alive with psychic energy, and the attack—Psychic—dug a shallow ditch in the ground behind Chi. Ralts was fast, but Chi was faster.

“Fire Spin!”

Chi moved so quickly it seemed she was causing the fire solely with friction, but she was actually torching the grass with the fire she sprayed from her mouth, forming a circle around Ralts, who shrank away from the fire. It would only buy them a bit of time—Ralts could easily use Teleport and escape the ring of fire.

“Safeguard!” Nereid called, and Vulpix glowed, a protective coating seeming to cover the Vulpix. “Now, Will-O-Wisp!”

Vulpix spat little balls of flame that homed in on Ralts. She had since escaped the fire, but one of the fireballs reached her and scorched her skin. It had hit her. A return fireball, seemingly from nowhere, hit Chi at top speed, but she simply glowed as she had earlier, protected by Safeguard.

Now lit up from behind by the still-burning Fire Spin, the air shimmered not only from the heat but from another attack from Ralts which enveloped not only Chi but Nereid as well.

It felt like her brain had melted out of her ears. She screamed, clawing at her ears to keep her brain inside, and stumbled backward. She was shivering all over—how did Pokémon stand it? Chi was yipping at her shrilly, but it seemed that she was moving farther away, or was listening to the noise a few rooms away. She felt so small, like all of her energy was being sucked out of her, and something had a grip on her heart and was squeezing it, and her breath came in sharp gasps, and—

Calm down. You aren’t going to die, Ralts said, her voice coming through loud and clear. Your panic is more dangerous than that attack. Take deep breaths.

Nereid tried to follow Ralts’s instructions, but as she was focusing on her breath, she forgot her feet, and tripped over a root from one of the trees. Her hands flew out in front of her, groping at a flash of pink. It pulled her forward, and she realized she had grabbed onto Ralts’s horn. As she fell forward, the world fell apart around her.

Last edited by Neptune; 03-19-2007 at 09:22 PM.
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Old 03-10-2007, 11:58 PM
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Default Re: Pandora Link

Images and voices shot through her head too quickly for her to focus on any of them. She couldn’t feel anything, as if she didn’t have a body at all. Was she dead? Her mind swam, and the images began to slow down, and she was moving through thoughts and feelings that didn’t belong to her. She could see the sun, and it burned her eyes, but they weren’t hers, they were someone else’s, and whoever she was looking through turned away, looking into a room beyond bars.

“Six-two-three,” a female voice cooed, and a set of human legs—black sneakers and white trousers—passed by the cage.

Was it Ralts? Was she seeing what Ralts had seen once? She couldn’t have been in a human; the legs loomed far too high. The legs stopped before the cage, but did not bend down. The woman was speaking to something above her.

“Six-two-three, how are you this morning?” the woman asked, and she heard monotone beeping, followed by a whirring noise. “Abra six-two-three, answer me.”

No different than yesterday, a male not-voice responded, a hint of resentment in his voice.

The woman walked over to the opposite side of the room and set the Abra on a table. Nereid could not see the woman’s face, but she could see the Abra. He was fitted with a metal collar, but was otherwise just like any other Abra as far as Nereid could tell. The memory skipped, cutting away like a cut filmstrip. She couldn’t see anything.

“Zero-zero-nine…” the woman said, but the rest was muffled.

Then the memories went into overdrive again, and Nereid was, for a moment, aware of herself—she was still falling forward. Time seemed to have stretched itself into a thin wire, and she had all the time in the world going forward, but there was no real space to move, and her head was throbbing, and—

The memories began again as suddenly as they had stopped, but this was not the memory from before. She was still looking at the world from behind bars, but it was nighttime, and the Abra from before—she knew it was the same one somehow—was hooked up to a machine Nereid had never seen before. There were small silver stickers all over his head, and he was levitating a spoon. The woman from before—Nereid recognized the sneakers, although her pants were grey today—was standing nearby.

“The Abra group shows the most potential,” she said. “It is to be expected.”

“The most psychic potential, perhaps,” a gruff male voice replied, “but the Ralts group is superior in the link.”

The link? Nereid had no idea what they were talking about, but they had mentioned Ralts, so perhaps this was the same Ralts she had been fighting. They must have been in a laboratory, studying Abra and Ralts. But cages and collars? She had heard of research on Pokémon, especially the psychic types, but it was never like this.

“If we just increase the … combine … the link … perfected…” The woman’s voice was halting, breaking up along with the memory, and Nereid was displaced once more.

As she floated in the ether, she could see herself from far away. She didn’t appear to be in her own body or in Ralts’s anymore, as she could see herself clutching onto Ralts’s horn, white-knuckled, falling forward. Was that what was causing it? She tried to will herself back into her body. She could stop this, she knew she could, she just had to take control and let go. She had to let go, she had to let go.

Her body responded, time snapped back like a rubber band, and she found herself on the ground, staring at Ralts, who teleported away as if nothing had happened at all. Had she known what had happened? Nereid was still shaking, sweating even through she was cold, staring at where Ralts had been. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

Chi, seeming to understand that Nereid was having problems, took it upon herself to shoot fire at Ralts. She was slower to teleport away this time; perhaps whatever had just happened had effected her in some way. Whatever Ralts was thinking, the battle was not going to stop, and Nereid sat up. She didn’t feel it in her to stand yet.

“Chi… Chi…” She stumbled over her words and thoughts, shook her head vigorously, and got to her feet. “Chi! Confuse Ray!”

Got it! a not-voice that seemed to be coming from Chi replied, sharp and girlish, but lower than Ralts’s not-voice.

A beam of purple energy shot from the Vulpix and hit Ralts mid-teleport, causing her to reappear where she had been.

“Chi, did you just—“ Nereid whispered, but didn’t finish her thought; it was some sort of side-effect, and she could figure it out later. Thinking about it now just reminded her of the headache she had developed. “Flamethrower!”

Chi took a deep breath, as if she wanted to suck in all the air in the world, and held it for a moment. Nereid could see the fire snaking out from her closed muzzle, burning white-blue. Chi released the inferno forcefully, and the very air seemed to blaze. Ralts tried to teleport but merely reappeared in the same spot once again, and the flames engulfed her.

Direct hit! Chi crowed.

Ralts twirled dizzily, half of her seemed to attempt a Teleport, and then she fell forward. It was over, finally. Nereid pulled a Pokéball from her backpack and pressed the button to enlarge it. She hesitated a moment, the Pokéball held above her head in mid-throw. After what she had seen… Should she attempt a capture?

You have won, Ralts said, although she was hard to “hear.”

Was that permission to attempt to capture her? Nereid thought it was. The Pokéball flew through the air and landed on Ralts, who dissolved into red energy, sucked into the red and white ball. It shook, and Nereid waited.

Last edited by Neptune; 03-12-2007 at 03:41 AM.
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Old 03-18-2007, 12:26 AM
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Default Re: Pandora Link

Introduction: Clear and concise. You told us a lot about your character, and made it interesting. Good job.

Plot: A young woman who grew up around water types gets sick of them, and takes off, with a Vulpix. After some unusual circumstances, she catches a Ralts. This is complex enough for a Ralts, and I suspect it will be a continuing plot. It certainly has enough substance and possibility to work as one, so, good job with this part as well.

Detail: Your detail was good. I would, however, try to suggest getting used to using things other than sight as much as possible. People tend to be sight-focused, so visuals are good, but there are other things that could be used as well. Smell, for example, is also important.

Length: Long enough. ^_^

Overall: Sorry for the delay. ^^; The graders are a bit swamped. Anyway, Ralts Captured! Try to add a bit more detail not related to sight next time. Otherwise, however, this was perfect.

My hands have yet to build a village, have yet to find water in the barren desert, have yet to plant a flower, and I have yet to find the path that leads me... I have not loved enough, but the wind and the sun are still on my face.

I have yet to sow green fields, yet to raise a city, yet to plant a grapevine on each chalky hill... There is so much to build and so much to be, and my love is just beginning.
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Old 03-19-2007, 09:25 PM
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Default Re: Pandora Link

It didn’t so much shake as shiver, as if Ralts was cold, and was using the movement to warm herself. But the shaking grew softer and softer, and finally the Pokéball itself pinged as it stopped moving. The noise was all she could hear, despite the dying flames of the Fire Spin crackling—fire-type Pokémon flames, when used to attack other Pokémon, never destroyed more of the landscape than was necessary.

Even once the noise had fallen away, she stared, unmoving, at the Pokéball. She had captured Ralts. Her first capture—and it was a Ralts, a respectable psychic-type. Finally, she took a few steps forward, bent over, and picked up the ball. It seemed so small, so innocent-looking, but inside was a Pokémon she had fought hard for.

We caught her! Chi said, running circles around Nereid.

Inside this Pokéball was a Pokémon that had some questions to answer. Gripping the smooth, warm plastic, she threw it to the ground. It bounced once and popped open. Ralts exploded out in a cloud of red energy as the Pokéball returned to Nereid’s hand.

“Ralts, in that ba—“



That’s my name. Bell.

“Oh.” Nereid blinked; she had never considered that Pokémon might have names besides the ones their trainers gave them. “Bell, then. During the battle, when I grabbed you. Something happened.”

It was unexpected, Bell said, her head bobbing to one side. You linked with me.

“Linked with you?” Nereid echoed, feeling rather stupid. She didn’t really know much about Ralts. They sensed things with their horns, though. “So the effects are tempo—“

No. Quite permanent. But are they really all that bad?

What effects, Bell? Chi asked, hopping from paw to paw nervously. Is Nereid okay?

“I’m fine, Chi,” Nereid said. “I think.”

Chi stared up at her trainer, eyes wide. Bell giggled and spun around once, tapping her horn.

You will now be able to understand Pokémon, Bell said, and spun while she teleported, landing heavily on Nereid’s head as the Ralts pressed a hand against her trainer’s forehead. And you will always be able to hear me, no matter how far away we are.

“Does this have something to do with those things I saw?”

Nereid felt the weight lift off her head, and Bell appeared floating before her, their faces inches away. Nereid took a step back; she could feel Bell’s sudden change in mood, from lighthearted to deadly serious. The wind ran through the trees and rattled the leaves.

What did you see? she demanded, her voice low.

“I—I’m not sure,” Nereid said, taking another step back. “There was some sort of lab, and I was in a cage. Well, I wasn’t in a cage, whatever I was seeing through was in one, and there was a woman, and an Abra, and she called the Abra a number. Six-something-something. Six… Six-two…?”

Six-two-three, Bell said, and Nereid nodded. You were seeing through me. That is all you need to know right now.

What’s going on? Chi asked, looking from Bell to Nereid. Neri, what’s Bell talking about?

“I’m not sure,” Nereid said. “Bell, what—“

You’re in on it now, Bell said, and floated, featherlike, to the ground. They’ll be after you. The lab, I mean. But they have no idea yet, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible. The less you know, the better. Now, I believe you’re on a Pokémon journey?

She was right. Until she had stumbled across Bell, she had been on her way to Littleroot, to get her Pokédex. Someone would be after her, if Bell was telling the truth; Nereid believed her. So it would be in her best interest to continue her journey, to act as normal as possible. She could do that, sure. Lots of people had Ralts: as far as psychic-type Pokémon went, they were common and easy to capture.

So she would travel to Littleroot, as was expected of a new trainer with all the time in the world and no worries.

“Okay,” she said, more to herself than her Pokémon as she held up two Pokéballs. “Return, you two.”

Bell and Chi disappeared, and Nereid was alone. The sun was climbing higher in the sky, and the dew had long since gone with the mists of morning, but Nereid was colder than she had ever been in her life.

Mechanically, she found the path; it wasn’t much of a walk, only a few feet. Mechanically, she began walking, each step feeling like lead. Birds were singing, the breeze was blowing cheerfully, and the sun was settling on the earth, but Nereid took no note of these things. She moved, tried to look as if she knew nothing, but she knew that it wasn’t true. She knew too much, but she didn’t know nearly enough.
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