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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-30-2007, 06:19 AM
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Default OMG! It's a Wag! (Ready for Grading)

Yeah. I'm writing for another Poliwag. This time, I want to keep it though. ;)


At 9 o’clock, the sharp sound of an alarm clock went off and broke through the silence of Billy’s room. It was a sunny Saturday morning in Mahogany Town; there was however, a slight chill in the air. As the alarm clock went off, the telephone rang as well.

“Hello,” Billy said half asleep.

“Hey Billy, do you want to play tennis today?” the voice said.

It was the voice of Billy’s best friend, Andrew.

“Sure,” Billy replied, “What time did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking around four o’clock. Is that okay?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah,” Billy replied, “That should give me enough time to finish my chores for today.”

“Ok,” Andrew said, “I was thinking we could go to the new court that just opened near the Ice Path. Is that ok with you?”

“Yeah, that would be awesome,” Billy replied, “I’ll meet you at your house at four o’clock ok?”

“Ok,” Andrew said, “See you then.”

“Ok bye,” Billy said as he hung up the phone.

Billy was generally slow at doing his chores. However, when he was motivated, he could do them very quickly and efficiently. After making a list of chores in his mind, he decided that he should probably finish painting the fence, as it seemed the most difficult chore. After he finished painting, he proceeded towards finishing all of his other chores. By the time he had finished, it was only two o’clock. A full two hours before he was scheduled to be at Andrew’s house.

“I guess I’ll just sit down and relax for a while,” Billy thought to himself.

After reading for a while, he checked the time and saw that it was nearly three thirty and decided to pack a quick lunch and set out for Andrew’s house. They left directly after he arrived at Andrew’s house and after nearly an hour of walking, reached the tennis court. After playing their game of tennis, they decided to eat their snack by a small pond that they had noticed on their way up. They had set down their hiking backpacks in order to lie down and stretch when they heard a strange rustling noise behind them.
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DoIPutNameHere: cradily, bad game really f***** up w/o storm drain, horrible playing, i give you a 0/10, please try harder next time

Last edited by kingrptr101; 03-30-2007 at 06:21 AM.
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  #2  
Old 03-30-2007, 06:19 AM
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Default Re: OMG! It's a Wag!

They whirled around and came face to face with a small armless Pokẻmon with a spiral pattern on its chest. Billy then realized that this was a Poliwag similar to the one he had caught in Mt. Mortar. The Poliwag was searching through their backpacks and trying to find the food that Billy had packed.

“Hey that’s mine, get out of there now,” Billy shouted as he threw out a Pokẻball which contained his Salamence.

As Salamence came out of the Pokẻball and the red glow surrounding it, it let out a huge roar which seemed to send small shock waves all through the area. It was obvious that this roar scared the small Poliwag and caused it to stop searching for the food in Billy’s pack and get ready to fight.

“Alright Salamence,” Billy shouted, “Use Dragon Claw on that Poliwag.”

Salamence flew toward the small water Pokẻmon and using its powerful claws, which seemed to glow during the attack, sent it flying. However, it was clear that the battle was just getting started for right when Poliwag landed; it leapt back into the air and crashed into Salamence using a vicious Body Slam attack. However, Salamence appeared to have barely even been shaken because it gathered its strength and use a strong Double Edge. It was clear that the Poliwag was not expecting this because it flew directly into the pond. After waiting for several minutes however, it appeared that it was the Poliwag’s turn to pull a surprise. It simply would not come back out.
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DoIPutNameHere: cradily, bad game really f***** up w/o storm drain, horrible playing, i give you a 0/10, please try harder next time
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Old 03-30-2007, 06:20 AM
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Default Re: OMG! It's a Wag!

“Well, I guess that’s that,” Billy sighed.

All through this time Andrew had been silent. Until that point, he was watching and thinking what to do since the Poliwag had gone underwater. Then he suddenly had an idea.

“Hey Billy, did you bring Kingdra with you?” he asked.

Suddenly, Billy realized what Andrew was getting at.

“Yeah!” he exclaimed, “As a matter of fact I did.” “Salamence, return” Billy said as Salamence was sucked back into its Pokẻball. “Now, go Kingdra!” Billy shouted, “Go into that pond, bring Poliwag to fight on the surface and show him who the boss is around here.”

At this, Kingdra dove into the water creating a giant splash as it went down. After just a mere ten seconds, both Kingdra and Poliwag appeared on the surface of the pond fighting with all their strength. The battle seemed to be going well for Kingdra until he noticed a strange purple pulse in the air that was heading directly for Kingdra. At first he didn’t know what it was. Then he remembered it was Poliwag’s Hypnosis attack.

“Kingdra dodge it,” Billy shouted, but it was too little, too late. Kingdra was hit by the purple pulse and fell asleep. It appeared that the Poliwag was very confidant that it could finish off Kingdra before it awoke but as it moved in for a Body Slam attack, Kingdra let out its Snore attack. The Poliwag was clearly caught by surprised because it flinched in fear for a moment. All this time however, Kingdra was continuing its Snore attack and inflicting damage on Poliwag. However, the Poliwag was not beat yet. After gathering its strength, it used its Body Slam which hit Kingdra directly. Due to the combination of sleep and the attack, Kingdra was slightly shaken. The Poliwag then proceeded to continuously pound at Kingdra with its Body Slam. It was at this point that it looked like it was Kingdra’s turn to fall in defeat.

“I still have a chance if I can wake up in time,” Billy realized.

Finally, right as the finishing blow was about to arrive from Poliwag, Kingdra woke up.

“Kingdra, use Endure,” Billy shouted.

Kingdra then braced itself for the hit and survived, barely.

“Now use your Flail attack,” Billy commanded.

Kingdra gathered all its remaining strength and attacked the Poliwag with all its might and sent the Poliwag flying. Unlike the previous times, the Poliwag did not get up. It had had enough and had no strength left to use.

“Alright good job Kingdra,” Billy said. “Now I just need to catch this Poliwag,” Billy said as he threw a red and white sphere. As the Pokẻball landed, a red stream of light surrounded Poliwag, sucked it inside, and the snapped shut. It rocked once, twice and then....
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DoIPutNameHere: cradily, bad game really f***** up w/o storm drain, horrible playing, i give you a 0/10, please try harder next time
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  #4  
Old 03-30-2007, 09:41 PM
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Default Re: OMG! It's a Wag!

Plot: It was a very simple plot. I can't say it was clique. I've never heard of people playing tennis near a place called "Ice path." especially since Ice meant it was probably cold nearby.

Grammar: Nothing here to hurt you. I did notice a few comma mistakes. No serious mistaktes though.

Detail: You did an A-ok job here. Detail could always be better. Like, was the Tennis Court warm despite being near the Ice Path? Simple details like that could go a long way.

Length: 6,111 characters. That breaks the minimum required for Poliwag. No complaints here.

Battle: This battle was a beleivable battle for a Poliwag. I liked how it took two Pokemon, even though Salamence could've taken the tadpole by itself. Good job here.

Success: Since Poliwag is a simple Pokemon, and you aren't trying to catch something else with it.

Poliwag Captured! Congratumajations on catching the tadpole.
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