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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 03-25-2007, 02:07 PM
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Default Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

Chapter 1 – Tree Of Beauty

Chansey and its brunette trainer, Jaina, were at the Crimson Road, trying to make their way towards Elune City. They became parched and famished after such a long travel from their hometown. Enervated and fatigued, they stopped by a large oak tree placed beside the road. The tree stood high and majestic. It was also flooded with leaves hanging up high on the long, thick branches. It was one of the most beautiful trees ever seen by Jaina herself.

Jaina took a red, wide cloth from her rather large bag and laid it out onto the earth’s surface, under the oak tree. The pink and egg-shaped Pokemon, Chansey, took out two bottles of water and some wrapped plates of fried noodles from a basket she brought from home. She then placed the food and two bottles on the cloth neatly.

“This oak tree is beautiful. I’ll take a few pictures of it before we start feasting, okay Chansey?” said Jaina, looking up to the tree. Chansey nodded.

Jaina took a camera from her bag and began to walk out from under the tree. She then rose up her camera towards her left eye. Jaina adjusted her camera for a few seconds, and then snapped the first picture of the tree.

“This shot came out well. I’ll take a few more,”

The brunette snapped a few more pictures, each from a different angle. After done taking pictures of the tree, she came back to the tree shade spot and unwrapped the plates of noodles. Chansey was drinking some water from the bottle of water.

“This is lovely,” mumbled Jaina.

After having a meal, they packed all the leftovers and continued they’re journey towards Elune City.
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  #2  
Old 03-25-2007, 02:08 PM
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Default Re: Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

Chapter 2 – Bag-Thief

It was silent. Too silent.

The Crimson Road is a home to a gang of Sneasels. They have stolen bagpacks and food from people bypassing the road since the time they migrated here, from Elune Forest. Jaina was aware of this, so she gripped her bagpack lash firmly. Chansey did the same, but with the basket.

“Did you hear that?”

Jaina heard a swift movement deep in the woods of Crimson Road. Jaina began to panic. She reminded her Chansey to hold on to the basket, as the food supplies packed in the basket are the only supplies they have. The brunette’s mind spun around.

A sudden breeze chilled Jaina’s spine from the back.

“The basket!”

A dark and purple-colored Sneasel snatched the basket right from Chansey’s hand and ran away swiftly. Jaina stood there like a statue, still shocked by the event.

“Chase the Pokemon!” shouted Jaina.

She took out a Pokeball from her bagpack and then threw it to the air. The ball opened wide open and a red beam of light was released out of the ball- resulting an Altaria to appear. It was covered with a fluffy and white cloud and its light blue skin shone like a diamond. It began to growl towards the night sky.

Jaina and Chansey took off on Altaria to chase the Pokemon thief. Altaria began to get a whiff of the air and detected the Sneasel, which was hiding behind a dark-colored tree. Altaria took off into the woods to catch it. Sneasel was aware of that, and then ran off from its hiding tree.

Altaria sniffed the air once again and detected it running off towards a broad river, far from Altaria’s spot. Altaria then flew towards the running Sneasel.

Altaria reached the river in a matter of seconds. When it arrived to the river bank, the Sneasel was already running away from Altaria on the opposite side of the river.

“Damn!” cursed Jaina to herself.

She didn’t want Altaria to cross the very wide river, since she doesn’t want to take a risk that a dangerous Pokemon like Sharpedo swims out of the river and bites Altaria when it is crossing the river.

Altaria landed onto the ground gently.

An ugly-looking fish suddenly splashes the Altaria with water. Altaria screeches back at the fish. Jaina saw this, and developed a notion to capture the golden fish.

“A Magikarp, perfect for battling when it evolves to Gyarados!” said Jaina.

The beautiful teenager sent back Altaria to it’s respective Pokeball and sent Chansey out to battle the Magikarp.
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Old 03-25-2007, 02:08 PM
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Default Re: Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

Chapter 3 – Between Land And Water

Magikarp was ready to attack from the river and splashed the Chansey with water. Magikarp knew it wouldn’t do damage to the Chansey. Chansey was not damaged by the splash, obviously.

“Chansey, attack the Magikarp with Egg Bomb!” ordered Jaina.

The egg-shaped Pokemon took an egg from its pouch and threw it to the swimming Magikarp. It tried to evade the damaging attack, but was unfortunately hit.

Magikarp was weak. It knew it was going to lose. Magikarp sucked in water from the river and blasted out a raging beam of water.

“What the heck?”

Jaina was shocked by such a powerful attack. It was Hydro Pump- a move not normally known by a Magikarp. Chansey was all damp, but was still able to move and attack the fish. Chansey was ordered to attack the Magikarp with another Egg Bomb.

Magikarp wasn’t able to evade the Egg Bomb attack, since it was too slow to try and evade. Magikarp was now critically damaged. Magikarp was too weak to reply an attack. It eventually fainted.

“Yes, it’s fainted!” said Jaina in joy. Chansey danced in triumph.

The trainer took out a Pokeball out of her bagpack and gripped it firmly. She took a deep breath and then threw it into the river, where Magikarp was. A red light shone out from the river a few seconds after Magikarp was sucked into the Pokeball. Jaina and Chansey then looked into the river, where they saw a wiggling Pokeball.
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Old 03-25-2007, 02:09 PM
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Default Re: Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

- Ready For Grading! -
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  #5  
Old 03-25-2007, 02:56 PM
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Default Re: Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

The details here were very good, for a mere Magikarp. In fact, it's hard to believe this is your first story. =P You did a nice job of this. It's actually longer than needed for a Magikarp, so no worries there.
As far as plots go, this isn't the most complex plot, but then, Magikarp is... Well... A weak little floppy fish with basically no real attacks. It is definitely enough for the fish Pokemon.

Normally, a longer battle would be nice, but I understand that it isn't always easy to write a long battle when you are fighting the equivalent of a punching bag. ;) You took a bit of creative license with Magikarp's attack, but since Magikarp can't fight without some sort of 'help', that's fine.

Overall, this was a nice story, and definitely enough for Magikarp. Magikarp Captured.
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Old 03-25-2007, 02:58 PM
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Default Re: Jaina's Journey Ep.1 : Lost Of Supplies

Quote:
Originally Posted by FireflyK View Post
The details here were very good, for a mere Magikarp. In fact, it's hard to believe this is your first story. =P You did a nice job of this. It's actually longer than needed for a Magikarp, so no worries there.
As far as plots go, this isn't the most complex plot, but then, Magikarp is... Well... A weak little floppy fish with basically no real attacks. It is definitely enough for the fish Pokemon.

Normally, a longer battle would be nice, but I understand that it isn't always easy to write a long battle when you are fighting the equivalent of a punching bag. ;) You took a bit of creative license with Magikarp's attack, but since Magikarp can't fight without some sort of 'help', that's fine.

Overall, this was a nice story, and definitely enough for Magikarp. Magikarp Captured.
Yay. ^_^ Thanks soo much for grading, FFK. >w<
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