Member List
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.

Thread Tools
Old 06-08-2007, 04:08 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Stir of The Thunderstorm - FINAL CHAPTER POSTED!

So, I began writing this fic way back in the summer of 2004, but left it alone while I was at college. Since the semester ended, I've been thinking of it more and more, and I've decided that I should finish it before moving on to the next fic. A lot of planning has gone into this, and now I'm sure of how it's going to end. (Finally...) I don't know why I never posted it here to be read and reviewed, but... here it is, I guess. :P Enjoy. (Oh, and I give permission to post in this thread in case anyone would like to do so.)

UPDATE 12/7/07: So, I know it's taking forever for me to add the last chapters, but it will be done. School's taken over my life, so until I'm free again (:P), it'll be a little while. It's still going, though!

* * * *

Stir of The Thunderstorm

*Chapter Index*


Once, long ago, before the Pokemon world was as it is today, there was an everlasting conflict between two forces. Back in that day, Pokemon was not about battling for fun, but battling for life. There was no Pokemon League, there were no gyms, and there were no Pokemon Centers, where Pokemon could immediately and easily be healed. The three known regions were but land of the vast world, and were not yet distinguished as Kanto, Johto, and Hoenn.

Pokemon of that age were considered to be warriors, but also friends, who helped fight alongside their human companions. They were trained as soldiers, not as pets that could be used to battle for fun. No, these battles were far from amusing. There were always casualties, and although the fights were not frequent, they always left destruction among all the people of Earth.

The conflict arose when an evil group came out from hiding. Team Devastation was made up of those who believed that Pokemon were only machines, meant solely for the purpose of gaining power. They would stop at nothing to obtain strong Pokemon, and they wouldn’t hesitate to attack the cities that were in peace. The people that wanted serenity, however, were forced to fight back in order to defend their land from being controlled by Team Devastation. Eventually, they were pushed to fight against their will too much, and they no longer desired peace. They grew to understand that the only way to survive was to destroy this force once and for all. However, as the people of the darkness gained more and more power from their Pokemon, they became more of a threat to the defending cities. Thus, those who aimed to defeat Team Devastation would have to endure much pain and suffering.

The great city of Derelon did just that. Many of this city fought well, and many died. However, some fought differently than those in battle, and did more good than any others could ever hope to do. This is their tale.

Last edited by silverfrost; 04-18-2008 at 01:47 PM. Reason: Chapter index.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-2007, 04:11 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm

Chapter 1- The Clever Girl Who Made Mistakes

“Ouch! Not so rough!” was all Eralynn could think to say while being dragged through the double doors of the Great Hall.

Her father forced her into the giant room, currently uninhabited. He held tightly to the back of her dress, not saying a word until he heard the sound of the massive doors slamming shut behind him. Then, he abruptly set her down in a chair against the side of the Hall and grabbed onto her shoulders, making her turn around to face him.

“What on Earth were you thinking?!” he screamed at her, all the while his furious stare burning through her tough facade. “So many more could’ve been hurt!”

Eralynn trembled in front of her father and quickly looked to the ground for some sort of comfort. She clasped her hands together tightly in front of her to attempt to stop them from shaking. She felt angry, culpable, and worried at the same time.

“We are constantly supposed to watch for them, and you just had to play one of your little games, didn’t you? You are the daughter of the advisor to the king and your behavior should be much more controlled and... proper,” he continued, trying to make her feel as guilty as possible. After a silent moment in which he shook his head, he said “Eralynn, your foolishness will no longer be tolerated in this city.” Then, after a brief pause, he spoke more softly, “You are to clean and polish every inch of this hall.” At this, he turned around and walked quickly out, letting the doors slam loudly again.

Her father, Orriso, had always been obsessed with what others thought of him. He was a very smart man, but always worried about looking his best before the people of Derelon. He was rigid and strict, especially with his only daughter, and always felt the need to punish her for her abnormal behavior. He didn’t let her get away with any mistake, which, in actuality, didn’t faze her too much. He wanted to make his daughter into the perfect, mature, and appropriately behaved little girl, which was the main reason for his stern attitude with her.

After a minute of surprise accompanied with silence, Eralynn turned around to look at the task that was ahead of her. The Great Hall was a huge room, with tall windows at the far end and shining tile floors. On both sides of the windows, there was a staircase, leading up to the homes of all the members of the Royal Court. The walls on the sides of her were of pure white and covered in paintings of great kings before her time, stretching nearly all the way to the current king’s throne, along with large, circular white pillars on either side of the green carpet. This great chair was made of pure silver, with a deep green seat and back-rest, both made of delicate, soft cloth. Below the elegant chair, bright white marble steps led down to the dark green carpet, which in turn led to the doors of the Great Hall.

Eralynn’s heart sank as she examined the room.

“Well, maybe I can get this done quicker than last time,” she murmured to herself while frowning miserably.

She walked over to the third painting from the doors on the left. Reaching up on tip-toe, she pulled at it slightly and yanked the polishing rag she’d hidden there out from the rear of the picture’s frame. She’d concealed it there just in case she’d be attending to this job again, as she was nearly sure that she would be. Keeping it in the hall merely saved her the extra time of running up to her room and getting it.

She decided that it would be best to start polishing the king’s throne, as that would be the most noticeable, and no one would pay much attention if she didn’t clean everything else as well as the magnificent chair.

She walked straight down the carpet quickly towards the throne. She bent down to begin cleaning the smoothest side underneath the arm rest, but she paused. The flat silver exterior shot her reflection back at her, almost as if in a mocking fashion. Instantly, she was reminded of the question that had plagued her throughout the duration of her life.

“Why am I so different from these people?” She wondered hopelessly, feeling for sure that there would never be a way to answer.

She continued to stare angrily into her very own face. Her unique, long, jet-black, wavy hair was parted off to the side and tied loosely into a braid. Her eyebrows were also pitch-black, making a definite contrast with her pale, fair skin-color. Dark, thick eyelashes bordered ice-blue eyes, which seemed to stand out above her smaller, less dramatic facial features. She had a very small frame and was very thin, appearing younger than her true age, which was seventeen. Most of the inhabitants of the city were much taller than her, and her eyes, piercing and almost mesmerizing, were different from any other’s.

However, her physical appearance was not the only aspect that attributed to her uniqueness among her people. She had a fiery temper, which often-times got her into trouble. Despite being emotional and caring, she always tried to convince her peers that she was fierce and inviolable. She also had quite a taste for tricks and practical jokes. She was very clever, but never used it for anything besides annoying the other residents of the city with her pranks. This, combined with her utter negligence, made for a rash and dangerous human being not quite like anyone the people of Derelon City had ever known before.

In fact, her temerarious behavior that very day was the reason for her present punishment. She peeled her eyes away from her reflection and began to think about what had happened earlier. She remembered the events quite clearly.

It was early afternoon and the sun was high in the sky. Looking out through her bedroom window, Eralynn could see the plains that lay stretched out beyond the city, along with the distant forests surrounding them. She caught a glimpse of about 8 people practicing archery not far off, atop a small hill on the grass. Quickly grabbing her bow and arrows, she fled out of her home, down the street, and out into the vast plains.

Seeing the warriors-in-training always made her upset. Although there were very few girls that grew up to fight in battle, they still had that option. Eralynn, wanting to protect the city and her people more than anything else, wanted badly to become a warrior. She had dreamt about it her whole life, despite how difficult she heard training could be. However, her size and physical ability gave her father reason to say no when she had brought up the subject and asked him for his approval. This, happening nearly one month prior, was the cause of a turning point in Eralynn and her father’s relationship. She felt much more distant from him, as he had essentially crushed her dreams. Watching the young adults who had been allowed to train to become warriors did not help matters, rather, it made her quite jealous of them. Hence, she was constantly trying to prove herself to her peers and her father.

She now quickly ran across the grass, moving closer and closer to the small hill. Since she wore a pure white dress, she became worried that the sunlight reflecting off of her wouldn’t exactly be discreet to the archers. Therefore, she made sure to run behind the hill so she wouldn’t be seen. When she was directly behind it, she crept to the top slowly, careful not to make any noise. She’d climbed to just the right height where she couldn’t be seen by anyone on top of the hill, but she could peek up to see a bit of them.

She needed to look only once to catch a glimpse of the targets they were shooting at, and also to see if their instructor was looking. Inferring that the archery master wasn’t looking her way and most likely watching what her students were doing, she decided to steal a quick glance. She pushed down onto the soft grass with her hands to elevate herself and lifted her head. She only looked for about two seconds before dropping back to the ground, but that was all she needed.

Pictured in her mind were the circular targets, located about five feet from each other, along with the pupils lined up to face their respective targets. The teenagers stood approximately thirty feet from each of the carved pieces of wood that were sticking out of the ground. Since these were the archery training grounds, these targets remained there permanently. They were essentially a large circle, with alternating white and black rings, supported by a five foot stake attached to the underside, which in turn was wedged underground. Aside from the targets’ locations, Eralynn had to note the position of the instructor also. She was simply looking over one of the boy’s shoulders to watch his progress during the practice.

Grabbing her bow with her left hand, she sat with her legs folded underneath her. She reached back instinctively with her right hand to grab an arrow out of the arrow bag strapped across her chest and resting on her back. Barely thinking about it, she put the arrow to the bow and pulled the shining, silver string back, still supporting the arrow with her hand. She felt the string straining against her grip as she took aim at a target not even visible from her perspective. After a moment of making sure her measurements were correct, she let go of both the string and arrow, letting it soar over the hill, quickly out of her view. She listened for only a moment, until she heard the “tick” of the arrow as it dug into the wood, hitting its mark.

“Woah...” she heard the boy directly in front of her gasp in surprise.

She had no time to waste, however, and she continued on with her strange plan. Without getting up to give herself away, she dropped to the ground and rolled to the left five feet, holding her bow close to her. She resumed the previous position and shot another arrow. Indeed, this one hit the target directly too. She kept going with this, four more times, every arrow landing correctly, until she knew she’d reached her final target. This time, however, she aimed her arrow slightly differently, and let it go.

“Ah!” screamed a familiar voice as the arrow sailed past. She could hear him panting slightly. “That came way too close to my head... Who is shooting at us all?”

Finally, the small, mischevous girl stood up from her obvious hiding spot and began to sprint down the hill. All the while, laughing hysterically. She’d shown them all up, and that was all she’d really wanted.

“Eralynn!” The archery master, called Jalin, yelled after her once she’d finally spotted the culprit. “You get back here, young lady! I don’t have time for your games!”

Glancing back, she could see the angry instructor and Rhylan, the boy her arrow had nearly hit, watching her as she fled. But as Eralynn ran and ran, heading straight for the forest, Jalin’s screams faded away.

Still slightly amused, Eralynn’s sprint turned into a jog as she neared the edge of the forest. She ran into the woods between two familiar trees. This was the path she took almost daily. She walked along the dirt road that lay ahead of her while looking around and enjoying the splendor of the woods. It was summer; therefore, the trees and other plants were looking their finest. Although this atmosphere was much darker than that of the plains, the occasional ray of sunlight escaped down through the treetops, reflecting off of the forest floor.

As she traveled further along the path, she could hear the faint sound of running water. She began walking faster, since now, she was getting closer. Finally, she approached a river that flowed south, the direction heading away from Derelon City. There were six stones that protruded above the water and led directly across the river to the other side. Eralynn always used these as a sort of bridge that helped her easily hop across the water. She did this, and once on the other side, she saw a cave not a great distance ahead. Walking perpendicular to the water, she advanced toward the cavern, observing the rays of sunlight beaming down on the ground before it. At its mouth, she came to a halt.

“Aerance! Come on out!” She called, hearing her voice echo on the cave walls. She waited a moment for her friend to emerge, but there was no response. Sighing, she entered to have a look for herself.

She had only walked a few feet inside when she heard a loud thump outside behind her. Also, she could suddenly see her shadow on the left side of the cave, as some sort of light was being projected inside.

She whipped around only to see her harmless best friend, Aerance, standing outside, peering in at her. The sly flame horse backed away from the entrance as Eralynn emerged. In the sunlight, her faultless white coat shined elegantly. Her mane and tail were made of bright orange, red, and yellow flames, which made even the beautiful fresh-water stream appear dull. Her large, almond-shaped, black eyes caused her to seem innocent at first glance, while this was usually not the case.

“Ah, girl, you almost had me there,” Eralynn said, while laughing and greeting her friend with a hug.

Aerance snorted in disbelief at Eralynn’s remark.

“Okay, okay. I did jump a little,” Eralynn admitted, lowering her voice. “But hey, I just scared Rhylan and all the other warriors.” At this, she rolled her eyes, annoyed.

Listening, Aerance smiled with her eyes and whinnied softly. She nuzzled Eralynn kindly on the cheek.

“Ah, so I’m guessing you’d like to go riding now?” Eralynn asked the Ponyta with a smile.

Aerance nodded her head once in approval and knelt down beside Eralynn, making it easier for her to hop on. Eralynn grabbed onto Aerance’s back, swung her left leg over her, and pulled herself up. Once she was comfortable, she patted Aerance on the side of her neck affectionately.

“Anywhere you want to go is fine with me, just not too far, okay?” Eralynn requested.

Aerance whinnied and set off at a gallop across the woods. Eralynn held onto the reigns tied loosely around Aerance’s muzzle as she nimbly wove through the trees and rocks. Eralynn felt the wind rushing at her, while her Pokemon glided gracefully across the surface beneath her. The trees seemed to fly by on either side of them, and Eralynn smiled, reminded of how much she loved to be with Aerance. They rode this way for quite some time, until they both spotted something in the distance.

“Whoa, whoa, girl,” Eralynn said as she lightly tugged on Aerance’s reigns, so that she’d stop running.

She stretched forward on the Ponyta and squinted through the trees. She could vaguely make out two dark figures in the distance. Looking hard, she could see they were some kind of wild Pokemon, but she couldn’t tell which species they were from this range. She urged Aerance to get a little closer, so that she could see what they were.

They were somewhat large and black in color. Their fur was unkempt and very messy and stuck out in all directions. It was much thicker and longer on their backs, tails, and feet. Their stomachs were a charcoal grey, and their eyes were a gleaming, intimidating red. They had pointy ears that were sticking up, and they possessed sharp fangs. They seemed oddly familiar to Eralynn, but the strangest part about them was how they wore a sort of collar around their necks. These were deep, dark red, and Eralynn assumed that this meant they both belonged to someone.

She listened intently as they fought over a piece of what appeared to be food. Hiding with Aerance behind a gigantic boulder, she peeked out to watch them bicker. It looked like they were playing tug-of-war with whatever they had. Occasionally one would let it go and nip the other’s shoulder in frustration. She stared hard at them.

“Where have I seen these creatures before?” She kept asking herself.

She searched the depths of her mind and memories until at last, she remembered. She had seen a picture of these animals, called Mightyena, when she was much younger. Her parents had been trying to teach her the ways of defense against the power-hungry Team Devastation in this war. The humans of the amoral side usually owned dark-type Pokemon, such as these Mightyena. They also commonly preferred to tame poison and ghost types, as well. However, they weren’t exactly picky. They’d all have loved to get their hands on any type of powerful Pokemon, no matter what the risk or consequences happened to be. They didn’t care, as long as they had a means of obtaining power at their fingertips.

“You know, they’re from Team Devastation, Aerance,” she whispered to her friend as she stopped looking at them over the boulder.

She knew that these Pokemon weren’t members of her city, so they had to be here on some sort of mission. She thought as quickly as she could. Anyone else would’ve simply tried to scare them away or run and tell the king or advisor what they’d seen, but Eralynn wasn’t really like anyone else. She had a plan in mind, in which she would get rid of these pests by herself. She whispered the general idea in Aerance’s ear, as she would need her help, and they both began to emerge from their hiding spot, Eralynn still on Aerance’s back.

“Excuse me!” Eralynn shouted, causing the Mightyena to jump in fear.

They turned around to face her and instantly started snarling. She gulped, now slightly frightened, but continued on.

“I think I can help you two out...” she let her words trail off, hoping their anticipation would rise.

But before she could tell them the rest, one of the beasts charged at them, snapping viciously at Aerance’s feet. She whinnied loudly, kicked her front legs forward while leaning back and standing only on her hind legs, nearly throwing Eralynn off of her. Luckily, she held on tightly and the black wolf Pokemon resumed its position at a safe distance from the two. To comfort the nervous pokemon, Eralynn patted the nape of her neck. It seemed to calm her down after a few seconds. Then, she resumed her plan.

Last edited by silverfrost; 06-10-2007 at 05:05 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-08-2007, 04:12 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm

(Chapter 1 continued)

“As I was saying,” she continued in an arrogant, over-confident voice, “I think I can help you two out. I know why you’re here and I can tell you what you want to know about the people of Derelon City.”

The Mightyena that seemed a little less vicious sat down and curiously cocked its head to the side, but still looked suspicious. The other was still growling softly and baring its sharp teeth.

“You see,” she examined her nails carelessly while she spoke, “I’m out so deep into the forest because I was planning on running away from these wretched people. Their beliefs are simply ridiculous, in my opinion, and frankly, I’m rather sick of all of them. I think they should all be destroyed.”

The malicious, snarling Mightyena stopped its growling and seemed intrigued by what Eralynn was saying. This wasn’t what they’d expected from a girl of Derelon City. Eralynn could tell that the two were letting their guard down, so she continued with her proposition.

“So, I can lead you to a secret passageway into the city, if you’d like. I think it would be great if you could hit them with a surprise attack. They’d never have enough time to gather the warriors and weapons. It would be perfect.” She looked out at nothing in the distance, acting nonchalant.

The Mightyena that was sitting down got up rather quickly, and the angry Mightyena took a couple steps closer to her and Aerance, still glaring at them suspiciously.

“Come! But make haste, because we don’t have much time!” Eralynn commanded, nearly certain that they’d follow her after hearing her speech.

At this, Aerance wheeled around and started to gallop back towards the way they had come.

“Okay, now,” Eralynn said softly, in only Aerance’s range of hearing, “I want you to run, not quite your fastest, but with enough speed so that they won’t be able to stop abruptly when need be. It’s imperative that we lead them to the place I told you about...”

Aerance shook her fiery mane up and down while she ran, showing that she understood. She sped up slightly to a comfortable running speed and headed for the river.

Eralynn glanced behind her to see the Mightyena following them at a good distance behind. She turned back around and looked ahead. They were coming, now, to an area of forest that was thick with brush. If unfamiliar with these woods, one wouldn’t know what was on the other side of all the dense, abundant shrubs. However, Aerance and Eralynn knew what lay beyond, and they would use that to their advantage. Eralynn hoped that this plan would work, as she’d have no other chances to get rid of the misled creatures.

Turning around, she shouted at the two mysterious Pokemon following them, “Now, unless we’re swift, people will see us, so do not stop!”

Aerance accelerated, causing Eralynn to hold tightly to the reigns. They were getting closer... closer... She could hear the gentle sound of flowing water straight ahead. This was it. Aerance and Eralynn both lowered their heads and Aerance burst through the surprisingly thin layer of brush and with a magnificent leap, she landed on the other side of the rushing river. She had just barely made it to the other side. Her hind legs actually landed on the edge of the water, but using her forelegs, she managed to force herself up the steep bank. And now, all they had to do was wait a moment to see if their plan would work. Aerance turned around to face the brush on the other side of the water, and Eralynn watched too.

They heard the sound of quick footsteps approaching and suddenly, one of the Mightyena broke through the bushes, landing in the water. It had tried to stop before falling in, but the force it had used while breaking through the layer of shrubs had disabled it from halting. Almost immediately after, the other wolf Pokemon leapt through the plants, and noticed mid-air that it was hovering above water. Of course, now it was too late for it to save itself, and it plunged into the flowing river.

Eralynn waved condescendingly to the two dark Pokemon as they quickly flowed downstream while trying to keep their heads above water.

“Nice work, Aerance,” she complimented genuinely. “Now, let’s go home.”

Aerance turned and trotted casually in the opposite direction of the river flow, straight back into Derelon City. She eventually found the path that led out into the plains, and as she carried Eralynn home, they could both hear a faint howl in the distance.

Eralynn looked back at the forest, pleased with her work. She felt she’d actually done something to protect the city for once, and she smiled at the very thought. She wanted to tell her father everything that had happened. Maybe now, he’d realize how smart and brave she was. Maybe now, he would accept her...

Once they got close enough to the edge of the city, Aerance stopped and let Eralynn jump to the ground. The girl pet her friend on the nose, and she was off, back into her home in the forest. Eralynn watched her run away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Aerance!” she called after her.

Then, she retreated home, into Derelon City, where she barely belonged. She ran for the palace, anxious to tell her father what had happened. Oddly enough, it seemed as if everyone was in their houses and the streets were mostly empty. Then, she saw three men carrying what appeared to be an unconscious Charizard across the stone road.

“What happened to it?” she asked them, but they were in a hurry, and did not answer her.

She stared after them a moment, utterly confused, then turned around and continued walking towards the palace. Eventually, she came to the huge building, and witnessed her father pacing in front of the steps that led up to the double doors of the Great Hall. Off to the side, she could see some warriors removing their armor.

So many questions flashed through her mind. What were the warriors doing in their battle armor? Why did her father look so upset? What had happened to that Charizard?

Puzzling her further was her father’s strange murmuring. “It’s coming... the prediction was true... doomed... we must find it...” she caught only snippets of his strange words as he bit his nails and mumbled.

Slowly and curiously, she walked over to her father. She worried that her very presence might make him even more anxious and aggravated than he seemed now, but she wanted answers to her questions.

“Er... Father?” she asked quietly.

He jumped as if she’d suddenly come up behind him and screamed in his ear. “What?! What is it, now?” He asked irritably.

“What on Earth happened here...?” She didn’t know where to start, but she decided that a general question would be best.

He paced still, tugging at his own hair with one of his hands and shaking his head. “A sneak attack... Somehow, no one saw them get in... How could this have happened?”

These words did not provide comfort to Eralynn, but only worry. “Father, who got in?” She asked.

“A small pack of Mightyena. They were somehow unnoticed...” his words trailed off in sadness.

“But... how could this be? I chased them off earlier!” But the moment she said this, she knew from her father’s expression that she had made a mistake.

He immediately stopped pacing as soon as the words escaped from her mouth. He faced her, wide-eyed in disbelief.

“You... what?!” He spat.

All the hope she’d had previously was viciously drained from her body. She could only stand there and stare at him in awe. She was speechless.

“Eralynn!” He shouted now, “You know what you’re supposed to do if you ever see anyone suspicious! You must always tell me!

His anger scared her more than ever. She tried to justify her cause. “M-my intentions were good, though! I chased two of them away not too long ago... I thought that was all of them...”

“I don’t care what your intentions were! That was an irresponsible thing to do, and... you- you will be severely punished!” Without thinking, he grabbed her by the back of her dress and pulled her into the Great Hall.

And now, here she was, polishing everything in this giant room. Somehow, she knew that this wouldn’t be the last time either. She knew that thinking about her father’s anger with her wasn’t the best idea, so she tried desperately to think of anything else, but to no avail. She felt her temper rising now, not with her father’s actions, but with her own. She’d never loathed herself more than she did now, and she just wanted to escape. She wanted a way to rid herself of her abysmal shame, but she did not know how. Without much of a choice, she swallowed her tears and continued working. The last thing she wanted was for someone to come in and see her acting like a wreck.

She continued with her punishment, now scrubbing the tall, glass windows behind the throne. It was now dusk, edging towards night. She would have to go up to her room soon. She dreaded the idea of trying to sleep, however, as her thoughts continued to turn back to her sire. Suddenly, she was interrupted when she heard the huge doors opening behind her. She turned around slowly, as if expecting something horrible, but saw her father. He marched down the long, green carpet, apparently trying to contain his animosity. Without so much as a glance at his daughter, he hopped up the stairs to the side of the throne, heading for his living quarters.

Eralynn frowned with sadness and confusion. What was she to do? Her own father hated her and she didn’t have anyone to look to for comfort, since Aerance was not allowed in the palace. And, perhaps it was justified. After all, how could she have been so sure that only two Mightyena were near Derelon? They obviously just got lost from the rest of the group and were stuck in the forest. Orriso was right. The right thing to do would’ve been to warn them. Maybe she could have saved her city if they were notified in time…

Clearly defeated, she decided it would be best to retreat to her room for the night. She climbed the stairs lethargically, barely feeling the strength to move. She entered her room and instantly fell upon her soft bed. She lay there for hours with her eyes closed, trying her best to sleep. To her dismay, her thoughts continued racing nearly too quickly for her to comprehend. She thought about everything: her lack of happiness, her awkward relationship with her father, her only friend, Aerance, what prediction her father could’ve been speaking of... All of these kept her awake until her mind eventually began to relax, allowing her to gently drift into a deep sleep.

She did not know it, but this would be the last time she’d sleep through the night upon her comfortable, familiar bed.

Last edited by silverfrost; 06-10-2007 at 05:06 AM.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2007, 05:51 PM
TwistedAlyx's Avatar
TwistedAlyx Offline
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 13
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm [PG-13]

Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
...Pokemon Centers, where Pokemon could immediately and easily be healed.
You don't need that comma before where in this sentence.

Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
They were trained as soldiers, not as pets that could be used to battle for fun.
This sounds kind of repetitive because you already said that battling wasn't for fun.

I think this can be a good story if you play it up the right way. So, good luck finishing it...
click here, come on ---> Out of Hand <---- click here, come on

. . . Read it . . . .

Gimme a quick review, and I promise you I'll review anything you've written right back for you. You know you're curious. CLICK, DARN IT!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2007, 06:09 PM
TwistedAlyx's Avatar
TwistedAlyx Offline
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Planet Earth
Posts: 13
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm

Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
She walked over to the third painting from the doors on the left. Reaching up on tip-toe, she pulled at it slightly and yanked the polishing rag she’d hidden there out from the rear of the picture’s frame. She’d hidden it there just in case she’d be attending to this job again, as she was nearly sure that she would be. Keeping it in the hall merely saved her the extra time of running up to her room and getting it.
He wouldn't give her a rag to polish it with? Doesn't sound like he would've let her run to her room and get it. And why a rag instead of soap and water?

Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
...going closer and closer to the small hill.
Going is kind of a boring word. Using a word like creeping, or sneaking would give a better mental image.

Originally Posted by silverfrost View Post
Since she wore a pure white dress, she became worried that the sunlight reflecting off of her wouldn’t exactly be discreet to the archers.
I don't think that much sunlight would reflect off, unless most people wear black or something? I'd be more worried about them seeing her approaching, regardless of what she's wearing. The wording of the second part of this entence sounds kind of odd to me. If you really must go with the approach that she's afraid that the archers would see her white dress, instead of saying that it wouldn't exactly be descreet to them I'd say something like, it wouldn't exatly go unnoticed because it flows a little better.

A few things like that here and there, but otherwise it sounds good. keep it up.... I'll probably review again later (more thoroughly...) when I have more time... I have to go now though...
click here, come on ---> Out of Hand <---- click here, come on

. . . Read it . . . .

Gimme a quick review, and I promise you I'll review anything you've written right back for you. You know you're curious. CLICK, DARN IT!
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2007, 07:28 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm [PG-13]

Hey, TwistedAlyx. Thanks for reading, first of all. So, as far as the comma before "where" is concerned, I think it may be necessary. I'm mentioning the place (Pokemon Center) and then describing it, which isn't really necessary. It's considered a "nonessential" part of the sentence. So, since I could just say, There was no Pokemon League, there were no gyms, and there were no Pokemon Centers, without the description (and it would still make sense), I need that comma there. It's a good point to bring up, though. :)

You are right about the redundancy in describing the battles as being serious. I think I'll change that. I also like the suggestion of using the word "sneaking" rather than "going."

About the rag- What would make less sense in this situation is if her father just happened to have a cleaning rag on hand for her to use. I suppose I could've written that he had gone to get cleaning supplies from elsewhere (a shed, perhaps?) but I thought I'd write that Eralynn always had them ready to emphasize that she was in trouble quite often. And, yes, soap and water would've been appropriate for cleaning the floors or something, but she was polishing a silver throne, and needed a rag. I think I'll specifiy that she was supposed to do the floors as well, but disobeyed her father and left them.

Also, white is a very reflective color, especially if it's sunny. (I've been blinded by going outside and seeing the snow quite a few times.) Most of them did not wear white, but dull colors, so I will specifiy that she would stand out more because of that.

Thanks again! This will really help me out.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-09-2007, 07:52 PM
Espeon206's Avatar
Espeon206 Offline
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: (:
Posts: 42
Send a message via AIM to Espeon206 Send a message via Yahoo to Espeon206
Thumbs up Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm [PG-13]

I like your work so far... the chapters are full of content; give you a good idea of what's going on... -nods- Yes, keep up the good work
Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2007, 09:33 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 2

Well, I hope those that are viewing my fic are enjoying it. :P

Chapter 2- Oleander The Brave and Varlo The Terrible

That morning, Eralynn awoke from slumber somewhat later than usual. Opening her eyes, she could see the sunlight entering through her window and gathering upon the floor. Turning, she stretched and rose from her sleeping position. She looked around at her own bedroom. It was small, plain, and white. She didn’t keep anything in it aside from her clothes, a few books, her bow and arrows, her bed, and a dresser with a candlestick on it. However, she never really complained about this, since she spent most of her time outside anyway.

While rubbing her eyes, she felt her stomach growl. She hoped she wasn’t too late for breakfast, and stepped out of her room into a hall. This corridor was somewhat dark and gloomy, with a theme of the colors maroon and black, always making it feel as if it was presently night-time. There were candelabras attached on either side of the walls, lighting the way. She walked past a few doors until she found the one labeled “Dining Hall.” She stepped inside, worried that she might see her father. To her relief, there were only two people inside. Only then did she realize just how late she really was. Normally, she would wake up only a short time after sunrise and find the dining hall filled with members of the Royal Court, all eager for conversation. Now, it just seemed so quiet.

As she entered, she shut the door behind her and turned around, instantly recognizing the two figures. One was the King of Derelon himself. He sat at the head of the long, shining, cherry wood table. He was middle-aged, now 52-years-old, and very wise-looking. His dark, straight hair was beginning to grey, and his soft, brown eyes held the appearance of a kind heart. With the help of time, wrinkles had begun to form around them, leaving one to guess that the king was older than he truly was. He wore a black shirt that was loose in the arms and had buttons down the center in the front. Also, he wore a black cape, which draped down to cover part of his chest, shoulders, and entire back. However, most astounding about his attire was the crown upon his head. Pure gold, it contained three large jewels, each of different color. One was of aqua-marine, the middle of deep, bright amber, and the third was a gleaming yellow.

“My King,” she said, bowing graciously and making her presence known to him.

He had been speaking with his son, but smiled at her when she had greeted him. Eralynn gave but a mere glance at the boy who was known as the Prince. Named Rhylan, he was somewhat tall and thin. Similar to his father, he had brown, straight hair and brown eyes. And somehow, he did not appear as benevolent as the king. He glared at Eralynn angrily, and she at him. He pushed his chair up, rose from it, and approached her.

“I can’t believe you nearly killed me yesterday,” he said, in a deep, quiet, serious voice while staring at her in wonder.

“I did not almost kill you. You’re fully aware of my skill with a bow, and I am no murderer,” she said, feeling her blood boiling with anger. How dare he accuse her of such a thing?

“So you use your skills to scare people, and interrupt important training sessions, then? Well, that’s extremely useful,” he replied sardonically.

Eralynn now glanced back and forth from Rhylan’s gaze to his father’s. “We will talk about this later,” she said firmly, now suddenly aware of the king’s presence. She hadn’t much realized it, but he was easily within earshot of their trivial argument, and she now felt herself blushing in embarrassment.

Rhylan stubbornly brushed against her shoulder as he walked out of the dining hall, slightly pushing her back and leaving Eralynn and the king by themselves. Eralynn had always considered him as a sort of rival. The two of them seemed immeasurably obsessed with trying to prove themselves to one another, but as they were nearly equal in intelligence, it was always pointless. They could argue for hours upon hours if allowed, and it never seemed to get old. However, it was clearly inappropriate to do so in front of the King.

Not knowing where to sit, Eralynn remained in the doorway. She’d only had a few conversations throughout her entire life with King Nevarro, so she didn’t want to sit too close, making herself too friendly, or too far, making it seem as if she didn’t want to be near him. Luckily, her decision was made for her when he spoke.

“Eralynn,” his raspy voice sounded from across the table, “come speak with me, we haven’t talked in ages.”

She nodded, unsure of herself, but regardless, walked to the seat closest to him. She sat down, puzzled by his sudden interest in conversing with her.

He set down a white, wrinkled piece of parchment that he was reading and looked up at her. “My dear, I heard about what happened yesterday,” he spoke calmly, raising his eyebrows.

She closed her eyes tightly. Her father must’ve told him all about how irresponsible she had been. The sudden gush of shame she felt seemed like too much.

“Your highness, I...” she couldn’t think of how to respond.

“Eralynn, your father is clearly too hard on you,” he said, nodding.

“Wha...? King Nevarro... do you really think so?” she asked, quite amazed. She had only expected him to lecture her just as her father always did.

“You are a wise girl, and you may just be advisor to my son when he is King. I simply don’t want you to think that you were being senseless because you weren’t. You just did not know,” he spoke quietly and reassuringly.

She stared at him with wide eyes, unsure of what to make of this. The king had always been a very understanding, kind, and knowledgeable man, but he had never spoken on such a personal level with Eralynn. She’d always respected and honored her king, and now, she had the sudden feeling that he actually respected her as well.

“Uh... Th-thank you, your majesty! I am so pleased to hear you say that...” she responded nervously.

“Your father mentioned that you actually frightened a couple of Mightyena away from the city, and I want to thank you for that,” he said with a polite smile.

“I felt it was only my duty to protect the city, My Lord,” she said, looking down.

“And your friend Aerance helped you, I should assume?” He asked with a grin.

“She did, actually,” Eralynn answered, but realized something did not quite fit. “Wait… You know about Aerance?”

“Yes,” he replied with the same smile.

Eralynn glanced to the side and pressed her lips together, making a face. She decided to let it go, however, figuring that her father must have simply told the King all about the Ponyta, as well as her misadventures.

He seemed to lose track of what they were saying, and seemed to be thinking about something while looking straight ahead of him. Eralynn watched him, waiting anxiously for him to say something further.

Then, suddenly, “Eralynn! Why did your father not allow you to become a warrior for our people?”

“He, um, said something about me not being able to reach the requirements for strength in battle. I assume he was referring to... my size and also, my inability to use a sword well,” this being a sensitive subject, she looked away.

“But, you are my advisor’s daughter. You are quick witted, which is, at times, quite a bit more useful in battle than your own strength. And aside from that fact, you are a prodigy with a bow and arrow,” spoke King Nevarro.

“No... I... I don’t think so,” Eralynn whispered modestly.

“Do not lie, now. I believe I saw you hit the center of each of those targets yesterday,” he said.

At this, Eralynn put her hand to her forehead, covering part of her face as it turned bright red. The king had seen her acting immature and out of line, yesterday, and she once again felt the rush of compunction flow into her mind. Not knowing how to respond, she remained silent.

“Eralynn, dear, you weren’t even looking... You clearly have some talent in the field of archery, and I’m making quite the understatement,” he chuckled.

She smiled nervously, still unsure of what to say. “I... apologize for the trouble I caused. I guess I’ve only been angry that I wasn’t chosen to be trained,” she explained sadly.

“It’s understandable,” the king said, “I know that brave people, such as yourself, desire to be made into warriors, so the devastation that your father caused in refusing your request must’ve left you heartbroken. But... Think about it for a moment. Perhaps you weren’t meant to fight for Derelon with a sword or bow and arrow. You may be destined to achieve something greater than you’ve ever imagined.”

She stared at King Nevarro with a quizzical expression. He certainly knew what to say to make her feel better. Of course she’d always wanted to become something great and important, as most people did, but hearing it from the king himself was entirely different than when she’d imagined it on her own. She began to feel her pride, previously washed away, returning with the king’s spoken thoughts. He truly felt that she was intelligent, brave, and talented with a bow and arrow. Her own father could not recognize this, and yet King Nevarro, who always seemed busy or occupied, had seen it from afar. She did not know what to think, except she knew that this conversation had filled her with hope, something which she usually did not possess. Smiling, Eralynn looked up at King Nevarro.

“Sire, I would be honored to be the next advisor, after my father,” she said.

The job did not seem as boring and worthless as it had before, now that she knew she was liked by at least one person in the city. With this career, she would have a purpose to her people, in which she used her intelligence, rather than strength, to help bring them through the war.

The King smiled, bowing his head to her kindly. “That would be wonderful for you, I’m sure.” He glanced back down at the table thoughtfully, then after a moment, looked back up at the young woman eagerly.

“My goodness, I’ve been talking all this time, really. Is there anything you’d like to discuss with me?” He courteously inquired.

“Actually, it’s interesting that you should ask that of me... I’ve had something on my mind since yesterday. It’s about something that I accidentally overheard my father say...” she paused for a moment.

“Yes? What is it?” the wise King asked.

“I recall my father talking about a prediction before he punished me, and it’s been bothering me ever since. What... is it that he spoke of?” Eralynn asked.

The King brought his lips together and glanced to the side, hesitating to answer her question.

“Well, many of our people do not believe the prediction, and neither did your father until lately. It’s something of a legend, actually, not yet proven to be true,” he said quietly.

“I don’t really understand, though. What exactly was prophesied?” She asked, confused as ever.

“Eralynn, I don’t believe I should tell you. I do not want everyone of the city aware of it, because I don’t want panic to arise,” he replied doubtfully.

“Okay...” she said with disappointment. “But, if I may ask, who knows about this apparent legend?”

“Your father does and my son does, since the line of kings simply should know of this, and a few elders within the Royal Court as well,” he answered.

“Well, your majesty, if I am to be the next Advisor, shouldn’t I know also?” She asked with an impish smile.

Laughing lightly, the King pulled back his head. “Oh, you never cease to amuse me, my dear. But, I suppose you are correct in your logic. I assume I can tell you without much of a problem occurring in the future. And besides, I still have some time to myself.”

She nodded anxiously, as she would finally be relieved of her curiosity.

The King began. “Long ago, perhaps about one hundred and fifty-years or so, the conflict between those with opposing beliefs wasn’t nearly as bad as it is today. People argued often, but that really was the extent of it. There weren’t plans of invasion, attempts to take over land, or anything of the sort. Everyone’s main concern seemed to be whether they were alive and well or not. And this was fine, because no one was being harmed or endangered.

“However, one man changed all of this. He destroyed the peace that men in this city once had possessed. He went by the name of Varlo Scantlar. Varlo was a very evil man, obsessed with making his viewpoints known to the world. He believed, as some do today, that Pokemon only had one use: obtaining power. The way that many people of Derelon considered Pokemon to be their friends and companions sickened him. He tried reasoning with the people who maintained a good heart, but it would never work. They held their ground by sticking to their beliefs, and this angered Varlo. Out of frustration, he began to plan a sneak attack on his very own city. I was told that he stayed within the walls of his home for a long time, occasionally inviting his followers to come and spread the word to others of his... sort,” he frowned sadly at this.

Eralynn had barely realized it, but even at this point, she was on the edge of her seat, unable to wait to find out what happened next in this odd story. She had heard of Varlo Scantlar before, but she had never been told it was he who had actually started the war.

“These people organized an attack on Derelon with Varlo, who they now considered their leader. They had betrayed my grandfather, the current King of that age, and they wanted nothing to do with the goodness of Derelon any longer. So, they sought to take it over by force, since Varlo’s attempt at reasoning had failed.

“Without warning, they attacked in the middle of the evening. It was so unexpected, that no one was prepared for a battle. And aside from that fact, neither innocent Pokemon nor humans were trained well for combat, seeing as it was unnecessary back then.

“On the contrary, Varlo had secretly been training Pokemon he and his followers once held as mere pets to become fearless warriors. He transformed the minds of typically happy, innocent creatures into those of raging beasts. He felt that this was the way things should be, though we all may believe differently. He taught them that it did not matter how a task was obtained, so long as it was done. He even convinced those that were vulnerable to his mind games that killing and destruction were not what most consider to be horrible things. As you can see, he was a terrible man, uncaring and irrational. But also, along with their mentality, he built up their physical strength. No matter how exhausted they were from training, he kept them going day-in and day-out. He obviously wasn’t concerned with their wellbeing, but only with the fact that they would bring him exactly what he wanted: power.

“Of course, as most have, I’ve wondered many a time about the purpose of a Pokemon’s capabilities. Why do they posses the powers of fire, water, lightning, ice, and even... darkness? And my main concern: where did they get these fierce and potentially terrible powers? They must serve some purpose to our world, anyway... But, I digress.

“After some two or three years of training underground and in secret, he unleashed his horrendous attack on our beloved city in the midst of night. It began as a raid, his men running through the streets with their tamed Pokemon, destroying nearly everything they could. Many houses and shops were burned down, leaving families without shelter and important supplies for a long while. Varlo had apparently ordered his men to attack smaller, weaker Pokemon and humans in order to prove his point. How this would get his argument through to people, I do not know, but the plans were carried out nonetheless.

“At this juncture, the Royal Court did not know how they should react. There were few who actually knew much about battle, but the rest, they did not have any hope for. As quickly as possible, they sent messages out to men and women of the city, pleading for their help. Many responded to the call of duty, willing to defend their city the best they could. However, once they had drawn their old swords and shields, many of Varlo’s followers were already fleeing the city. (Later, everyone discovered that their only purpose in the sudden attack on Derelon was to devastate and terrorize, then leave to settle in another part of the world. They didn’t have any intention of taking over Derelon.) Still, some remained there, trying to steal Pokemon and get away with it. The citizens of Derelon fought back the best they could.

“One in particular, by the name of Oleander, had an interesting affair during battle. This woman was the Queen of that time, and therefore of my blood. She was, by nature, bold and daring, and not in the least afraid of death. She seemed willing to take on any opponent, and during this monumental fight, she fought against anyone and everyone that she could. She did a good job too, knocking out many of Varlo’s followers so that they could be taken to jail. However, as brave as she was, there was one who she could not match in strength. This was indeed Varlo himself. He had been ordering his men to flee for their planned location, when he saw Oleander ruining his scheme. He felt that it was necessary to remove this woman, as she was one of the only real threats to him and his men. He stopped what he was doing and drew his sword in rage. Of course, she fought him just like she did any other, with all her courage and loyalty to her people. He stabbed her viciously in the stomach during their duel. Clutching to her abdomen, she continued on, bleeding profusely. She held her sword in one hand and her stomach in the other. Varlo clearly showed her no mercy now, and took advantage of the pain he had already dealt her. Stabbing her once more in the leg, he had made it so that she could no longer stand. She collapsed before him, panting and clenching her teeth from pain. In two swift moments, a sword had sliced through her body, and she now knew there was nothing she could do. She would die at the hands of Varlo.”

Then, there was a long silence, in which neither King Nevarro nor Eralynn spoke. After pondering a bit, the King continued on.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2007, 09:34 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 2 continued

“Unfortunately, Varlo got away, and... Oleander did die. Obviously, she suffered from the stab wounds that Varlo had given her. She bled to death that day, and the city of Derelon saw a hero and a great Queen perish before its very eyes. However, as she was leaving for the afterlife, she said something that struck everyone’s heart. Now, normally, people wouldn’t take such strange words so seriously, but this was a well respected woman of the city. Many looked up to her, as she was a helpful, kind, and intelligent human being. She offered good advice to many, and aided those that were poor and needy. It seemed that she never let her people down, and so they always took her words seriously, no matter what. It was the moments before her death in which she stated the prediction your father must’ve been speaking of...”

Eralynn looked around nervously. She’d previously been excited to hear the story of how this whole conflict had started, but now, she wasn’t sure she wanted to actually hear the end. All she could really feel was sympathy for Oleander. She had died fighting and Eralynn admired her for that. She shook her head, and despite her melancholy, decided to ask.

“So, what was it that she said exactly?”

“Well, Eralynn,” spoke the king, “it’s difficult to understand... With the last of her strength, she raised her head, and whispered into the king’s ear that there would be a time during which the Protector of Derelon would need to be awakened. This Protector would be born under a great storm, and come shortly after the passing of wolves. The chosen one, who would possess great strength and be willing to sacrifice much, would have to pursue his destiny, or else all of pure heart would die.” He sighed after reciting it, as though he regretted telling her, now.

Thoughts flashed through Eralynn’s mind. Yesterday’s invasion of Mightyena was the third only this week, and there had been eleven throughout the month. Eralynn was, of course, not allowed to leave her room during these attacks, and had only heard about them. Her first encounter with any Mightyena was when she chased two of them off the previous day.

“So, that’s why my father is worried,” Eralynn thought to herself. “We’ve never had such a problem with the wolf Pokemon before...”

“Yes,” said the king, “and many people believe that Oleander’s words are now coming true. I’m not so sure what I believe, but it is an interesting coincidence, to say the least.”

Then, a thought came to Eralynn. “Well, what if one of Varlo’s followers overheard what she had said, and they’re sending the Mightyena just to catch everyone off guard and intimidate them?”

“Yes, Eralynn. We also thought of this. However, we are positive that no one in the High Court would give these words away to anyone, even the other citizens of this city. It would be too risky to tell anyone, for they may infer what they wish and get the wrong idea. We wanted to figure it out for ourselves before striking panic into everyone.” He scratched his head and looked down.

Eralynn could not think of how to respond. Somehow, she believed this prophecy of Oleander’s. Something told her that they would soon be in danger if this so-called “chosen one” didn’t step forward and reveal himself. She certainly could not imagine who it could possibly be, all the same, she ran through all the possible candidates in her head.

“Do you... know who it is, King Nevarro?” she asked him cautiously.

“No, no one does. My son and I were actually discussing who it could be, before you arrived this morning,” he said, shrugging helplessly.

“Your son...” she murmured under her breath.

What if it was Rhylan? Could it be? He was about to become a very strong warrior, and he was, after all, the Prince. He had mastered nearly all the skills of combat. Plus, he was very brave. Although she was constantly annoyed by his presence, she had to admit that he was quite skilled and courageous most of the time.

“But... no. He’s a jerk and he’s terribly rude...” she thought. Her mind seemed to be arguing with itself, trying to decide on this possibility.

“It would be helpful if we actually knew who this person was and also, what he’s actually supposed to do to save us,” said the king worriedly.

Eralynn only nodded pensively and gazed at the table, still thinking about the chosen one and his task.

After a moment, she asked, “So, you do believe what Queen Oleander said?”

“Yes... I suppose I actually do,” the king laughed nervously. “She was a great Queen, and she was very wise. I think that her last words really have to mean something, especially now. The Mightyena are passing through...” he trailed off. Then, he rose out of his chair. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, there is a short ceremony I must be attending. I think you should be there too, being the advisor’s daughter and all.”

“Which ceremony is it?” Eralynn asked, struggling to keep her mind off of the Protector and trying to stay on topic.

“Oh, today is the day that the warriors, who are training, set out on the Last Journey. Then, their roles will be official,” answered the king, while pushing in his chair.

“Okay, I’ll be down soon then, Your Highness,” Eralynn said and began to eat. All she could think about was the prophecy. What could it possibly mean? Surely one person could not hold the fate of all that reside in Derelon, could he? She was not sure, but she somehow had the feeling that she and her people were in danger.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2007, 06:56 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 3

Chapter 3- The Colors of Destiny

Eralynn had completely forgotten about the warriors leaving for the Last Journey that day, but she had to go and see them off with the rest of the members of the Royal Court and their families.

The Last Journey was the final step in training for the warriors. After they would return, they’d be official warriors of Derelon, and would be able to defend the city and its people. This occurred annually, admitting new warriors into the line of combat each summer. They were to leave mid-afternoon and set out on a two day-long mission in which they would gather jewels from the trees of Norsillon. They would travel to the dreaded forest in a group, without anyone to protect them. Rumor had it that Norsillon was inhabited by ferocious creatures, however, only the warriors knew what dwelled there, and they were forbidden to tell anyone. They were to each take one of the special grey jewels and bring them back to the city to show all of Derelon.

When held in one’s hand, these gems transform into a different color, each representing a different destiny. Normally, one who would become a great warrior would hold a deep blue jewel. This was the color which most people received, and even hoped for. It meant a long, healthy life, in which one would live honorably until death. And although it was common, it was comforting at the same time.

There were different colors; of course, some of their meanings were still unknown. Eralynn remembered watching a young man return with his group, holding a pale orange gem. Four years later, he betrayed his people and ran to stay with Varlo’s other followers. This color apparently predicted that the one who held it would become a traitor.

Also important about the gems’ colors was that the line of princes and princesses would all hold the same color forever. Before Rhylan even returned, everyone knew his gem would turn but one color: crimson. His father, and his father before that had recieved the same color. (Of course, before two generations prior to this time, the Last Journey was merely used to admit young citizens into adulthood, not as warriors.) No one knew why this was, but there were theories. Perhaps it represented the strong line of blood within Kings and Queens. Or maybe it was as simple as stating the fact that this warrior was next to be King or Queen. It was still a mystery to all of them.

Eralynn often wondered which color her gem would transform to when she grasped it. She frequently imagined it not turning any color at all, but staying a dull grey, showing her that she had no set destiny. This was the only fear she held about becoming a warrior. She did not want to be nothing to her people, and she always feared that the precious stone would tell her this, had she the opportunity to train. She almost felt relieved at not having to take the Last Journey on this day.

After she finished eating, she got up and left the dining hall. She figured that her father would be upset if his daughter did not look her best for the ceremony, so she retreated to her room and grabbed a change of clothes. She bathed and made sure she looked decent before going out into public. Now wearing a silvery-colored dress and sandals, she tied her hair back in a bun, and set out to find her family.

She descended down the stairs near her room towards the Great Hall, where the warriors would be leaving for their journey in front of the Royal Court. When she entered the giant room she had polished yesterday, she saw only two people. She stopped walking, so as to not disrupt them, and looked to see who it was.

She could see Rhylan talking seriously with a short boy next to him. Looking closer, she could tell that it was the boy named Landon. They were both standing very close to the double doors, deeply engaged in conversation. Eralynn was all the way at the other end of the room, near the throne, so they did not even see her.

Curious to know what they were talking about, she crept closer from behind them, using the large white pillars that were on either side of the green carpet as a shield from their eyes. She stopped advancing when she was in earshot of their words.

“...Yeah, well, I’ve heard there are some really crazy things living out there,” Rhylan said.

“I guess so, but the previous warriors have never even said anything, so how bad could it possibly be?” The boy called Landon responded in his high-pitched voice. “Don’t you think that if anyone had ever gotten hurt or anything, we’d know about it?”

“I suppose you’re right, but...” he dropped his voice to a whisper now, almost as if he knew someone was listening. “That doesn’t really stop me from being sc-”

“Scared!?” Eralynn jumped out from behind the large pillar and both Rhylan and Landon jumped in surprise. They must’ve had no idea she was there the whole time.

Rhylan held onto his chest for a moment, and sighed in frustration. “How long have you been listening to us?” He asked without looking at her.

“Oh, you know, long enough to know how frightened you are,” she taunted.

“Hey, at least I’m actually going on this journey. At least I get to become a warrior,” he retorted angrily.

Eralynn narrowed her eyes angrily at him. “That doesn’t make you any better than me.”

“Oh, it doesn’t? Well, how do you explain your parents not letting you go, and mine so willingly allowing me?” He asked.

“I didn’t train well enough in swordsmanship to make it, according to my father,” she said with her arms folded across her chest.

“You think that’s really why?” Rhylan looked at Landon, and they both laughed hysterically at her.

“What is that supposed to mean? Like you’d actually know my father’s reason for refusing to allow me to train...” she rolled her eyes impatiently.

“Actually, I think everyone can see why without even having to ask him,” he responded, after he had stopped his condescending guffawing. “Eralynn, you act like such an idiot. You can’t seem to just be normal, like everyone else, so your father is probably worried that you’ll just become a traitor or something.”

“What?!” She screamed, outraged. She could feel her forehead becoming hot with her sudden anger. “How could you ever think of saying something like that?”

“Easily, it’s the truth,” Rhylan said coolly.

“Listen-” Eralynn began.

“No, you listen,” Rhylan interrupted. “All you do is bother everyone. You never seem to do anything productive for this city, like the rest of us. You just play jokes on everyone and ride your stupid Ponyta all day, without a care for anything.”

“She’s not stu-” Eralynn began to defend her friend. but was interrupted once more.

“And you actually expected your father to respect you and say you would make a good warrior?! I hardly think so. Everyone in this city knows how irresponsible and stupid you can be, Eralynn, and no one wants a warrior like that. No one,” he spat harshly.

She had no words prepared to counter such a statement, and was left silent. She looked up, finally, at Landon, who was staring at Rhylan with an expression of astonishment. He also seemed at a loss of words, not wanted to get further involved in the argument.

“Now, why don’t you just get out of here? Landon and I don’t have time to be dealing with the likes of you,” he said patronizingly.

She shook her head and gave Rhylan a look full of hatred. “You’re a horrible, arrogant jerk,” she exclaimed, then marched quickly off.

She started up the staircase to go to the upper level. She no longer wanted to be a part of this ceremony, but only to stay alone in her room for the day. She had already felt bad enough about not becoming a defender for her people and she did not need to hear Rhylan give her the reason for her failure. Apparently, everyone hated her. Everyone thought she didn’t care, and that she could become a traitor. According to Rhylan, her father had actually lied to her about why she could not train. Now, she’d wished that was her father initially said was true. She would’ve rather had no physical strength than have no admired personality traits. Normally, Rhylan’s brutal words would not have affected her as so, but he had a point, for once. Even the King had wondered why she wasn’t training when she was so good at archery.

“Why did I not think of this before?” she asked herself as she slowly climbed the stairs to the upper level. “It’s the way I act... not my strength...” she thought despairingly.

However, her thoughts were interrupted when she heard her father’s voice. He was coming down the curved staircase with someone else, and Eralynn put on a fake smile as he approached. As he came into sight, Eralynn could see that he had been walking down the stairs with the King, and they were both wearing black, formal-looking robes for this ceremony.

“Eralynn, where are you going? Come on, it’s going to start any moment,” he said, then continued his conversation with the King.

Eralynn did not dare disobey her father, especially after hearing what Rhylan had just told her. So, she unwillingly followed him, trying her best not to mope in her sadness as she trailed behind the King and her father. Eventually, they got to the bottom of the stairs, and Eralynn could now see there were four trainees awaiting the start of the ceremony, rather than just Rhylan and Landon as before. She looked at the other two, but did not recognize them. She was disappointed, as she’d hoped there would be someone else she knew there, aside from her rival and his friend. Unwilling to talk to them, she was forced to stand next to her father while he discussed ideas with the King. Besides Rhylan, her father was the last person she wanted to be with now. After all, what Rhylan had told her could certainly be the truth.

Soon, more people began filing into the Great Hall for the ritual before the Last Journey. Eralynn noted that there were a total of eighteen warriors that planned to complete their training that day. They all stood clumped together near the double doors of the huge room. Many were fidgeting nervously, and others just couldn’t stand still at all. A couple, including Rhylan, were pacing and looking very anxious. Apparently, most of them weren’t quite ready to take the Last Journey that would initiate them into both adulthood and the ability to fight.

Eralynn stared at them, wondering what exactly they could be afraid of if they knew not what was in Norsillon, in the first place. Perhaps it was only anxiety and agitation that was causing them to act so nervous for this very short trip.

The King rose from his position in a chair next to Orriso, and let another older member of the Royal Court take the seat. Then, he walked over to his throne and stood facing the new warriors. He raised both his arms to signal for the chattering teenagers to quiet down, and then he spoke.

“Children of Derelon, after this day and night, you will actually no longer be children. You will come back from Norsillon as fierce warriors, ready to take on the world. Nothing will stand in your way after this point, as you leave adolescence behind and embrace adulthood. You will be able to make your own choices now, and will be able to input your defenses toward the citizens of Derelon.

“The short journey may be rough, but it is well worth it, as you will see. The jewels of Norsillon behold your future within them, and although we are still decoding some of the unique colors they possess when held, it will be a wonderful experience for most of you to discover your destinies. The precious stones have never lied before, and we have trusted them to show a glimpse of our futures for ages. So, please, trust them well, and trust in yourself. I am confident that you will all have a safe and successful journey, and you will all return as our bravest warriors.” The King then gave a bow, and slowly sat down in his throne.

All the soon-to-be warriors bowed in return. They then formed a line, in which they would individually approach all the members of the Royal Court and give them their thanks and temporary goodbyes. Eralynn did not recognize the first one of them in the line. He walked up to the King first and shook his hand, while the King congratulated him. He did the same to the other members of the Royal Court. When he came to Eralynn, she bowed then shook his hand politely while congratulating him. All of those that were in line did the same.

Then, Rhylan approached. He gave his father a hug, then proceeded on, shaking everyone’s hand with a nervous smile on his face. All Eralynn could really think about was how much of an egotistical fool he was. He came to her, after shaking hands with her father. He grabbed her hand, since she refused to put it out, and shook it carelessly.

“Idiot,” she snapped at him.

“Moron,” he replied, without looking at her.

Immediately after Rhylan, Landon followed. Eralynn just shook her head as he walked by. After all, he had laughed at her earlier, so she wanted nothing to do with him, also.

However, out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father shoot her a dirty look. Only then did she realize that she was letting her emotions get the very best of her. She refused to look at him, though, so she pretended she didn’t see his angry gaze.

She watched as the new warriors began to walk toward the double doors. The King got out of his throne and began to follow. Everyone of the Royal Court took to his lead and did the same. Eralynn walked cautiously next to her father, hoping he wouldn’t begin lecturing her in the middle of this ceremony. They all walked out through the double doors and into the radiant sunshine. Eralynn and everyone else seemed to squint from the brightness surrounding them.

Allowing her eyes to adjust, she could see many different large Pokemon standing in an arc around the small crowd. Counting, she could see eighteen of them, one for each of the new warriors. As a person trained to become a warrior, they were also supposed to pick a Pokemon to train as their partner. In a true battle, the pair would fight their enemies side-by-side, never leaving each other. It was a good way for humans to bond and become closer with Pokemon that resided in the same city. The result was that many of these people did not think of the Pokemon as their partners in battle, but their companions.

Eralynn thought of Aerance, and how many times she’d dreamed of becoming her partner in battle. They already had a strong bond, and would’ve made excellent partners in combat, but of course, she couldn’t train. Her father did not even let Aerance stay with Eralynn, because he sometimes blamed the Ponyta for Eralynn’s odd behavior. He felt that she influenced her to play tricks and never act serious. This is why Aerance still lived in the forest just outside of Derelon. Fortunately, Eralynn was able to visit her nearly every day, so that she wouldn’t be lonely, but she still wished that her father would allow her to live closer, within the city.

She now watched as all the new warriors walked up to their Pokemon, and bowed respectfully to them. The well trained Pokemon bowed to them in return, and the warriors walked closer, petting them affectionately.

She stared in amazement as she saw Rhylan stroking a Pidgeot that was nearly as tall as he was. It gently rubbed its large beak against his cheek. She had never seen him act kind to anyone or anything but his own father. It was just strange for her to witness the bond that he and his Pokemon had, especially after he had made fun of how she “rode her stupid Ponyta all day,” implying that it was stupid and pointless to spend a lot of time with a Pokemon.

She then directed her attention towards Landon, who seemed to be giving his Meganium something of a pep-talk. It was nodding and saying it’s name over and over again happily. The Pokemon seemed ready for this mission, at least. All around her, she saw trainees doing similar things with their Pokemon. A mixture of encouraging words and the sounds Pokemon were making were heard from every direction. After a few moments of this, each new warrior climbed onto the back of his or her Pokemon, getting ready to start the Last Journey.

At this, everyone in the Royal Court put their hand to their forehead in salute. The soon-to-be warriors did the same, and after waving goodbye, they signaled to their Pokemon to be off. Eralynn could all of the different Pokemon running together, as if in a herd. Few were in the air, but many slower Pokemon lagged closely behind on the ground. She could see an air-born Charizard, a Fearow, and Rhylan’s Pidgeot leading the way for the rest. She caught a last glimpse of Landon on his Meganium, someone on a Dodrio, another on a Swampert, and another on an Arcanine. She then glanced back at all the people who were standing with her. They all had satisfied, nostalgic smiles upon their faces as they watched the new warriors ride away. They would now start the Last Journey.
Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2007, 06:58 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 3 continued

* * * * * *

The sun had only set a couple hours past, and Eralynn was laying in her bed, wide-awake. She had been trying to sleep for nearly an hour, but she had far too much on her mind. She was trying her best to shut out all the memories of the day, but she just couldn’t. In her mind, she kept turning back to the prediction made by the brave Oleander. She went through nearly everyone she knew, trying to decide if they were the one or not, but there were simply too many people in Derelon. And every time she thought of Rhylan, she remembered his cruel, yet true words.

“You must look, my Eralynn,” a sudden voice came from within her room.

Frightened, Eralynn sat up quickly to look around. “Who’s there?!” She demanded. When no one answered, she threw off her covers, got up, then looked under the bed. No one was there. She walked over to the door and opened it to check to see if anyone was out in the hall, but it was completely deserted.

“Wow, maybe I’m going crazy,” she muttered to herself. She got back into bed and made sure to stay awake for only a little longer, in case someone actually was in her room. Eventually, she rolled over onto her side and closed her eyes.

“Good, now keep them closed,” the haunting voice came again.

Eralynn disobeyed the strange voice and quickly opened her eyes once more, and looked around the room for whoever was speaking to her. Once again, she saw no one. However, before she had opened her eyes again, she started to see something, as if in a dream.

“What is going on...?” She said to herself, but closed her eyes once more, out of curiosity now.

The picture in front of her was so real, she felt as if she was actually there. She was being shown some sort of field, but barely anything was in the surrounding area. She could see an eerie patch of trees in a short distance, but not much else. All she noticed, at first, was the slight breeze blowing the grass, causing it to ripple. Then, turning around, she could see people riding on Pokemon. They were running and flying towards her and away from something, which she could infer by the expression of terror on their faces. She felt the rumble of the earth beneath her, as if its very core was being disturbed. She saw a boy with brown, messy hair on a large bird flying overhead first, he seemed the quickest one there. There were slower Pokemon though, and a huge winged creature with a red strap around its neck was following them. It was grey in color, and its tail was quite long, ending with a tip that looked like spade. It had sharp teeth and little hands that looked useless on its wings. It easily caught up with the swarm of people and Pokemon, grabbing both in its terrifyingly sharp claws and its mouth. Other creatures of the same type followed suit, grabbing humans and Pokemon alike, lifting them into the air, then carrying them off in the other direction. They were screaming in protest and trying their hardest to fight back, but the huge creatures seemed almost immune to their attacks. Their terrified shrieks seemed to go on forever...

Eralynn opened her eyes with a start. She was sweating and breathing heavily. She wiped her hair off of her brow, and put both hands to her face.

“Please, tell me, what was that?” she asked desperately, barely able to catch her breath. “I know you’re still here, whoever you are.”

And to her surprise, she was answered.

“It was an unfeigned vision. There is still time.”
Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2007, 08:10 PM
Crazed One's Avatar
Crazed One Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 1)
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Changed name from 'zzz'
Posts: 1,053
Send a message via Skype™ to Crazed One
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm [PG-13]

It's awesome! I love it!
A magician was driving down the streets when he turned into a driveway.

Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2007, 09:38 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Re: Stir of The Thunderstorm [PG-13]

Well, thank you very much. I'm glad you like it. :)
Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2007, 02:06 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Diversion By a Persian

Eralynn jumped out of bed as fast as she could. She nearly tripped over her blanket, which she had thrown on the floor while stumbling around the room for her sandals. When she found them, she kept feeling around the dark room for her cloak. Eventually, she found it in the corner, where she had carelessly thrown it the last time she’d worn it. Without hesitating, she threw it on and pulled the hood up over her head. Also, she grabbed her bow and arrows, attaching the bow to the arrow bag and then strapping it around her chest.

“Was it a dream?” She asked herself suddenly. “No, no... I was awake. Someone spoke to me. They said it was all true...”

The confused girl quickly put her hand over her mouth at the memory of what she had seen. She paced for a moment, unsure of what she should do. She really wanted to know who had spoken to her. She also wondered why this voice had shown her such a horrible thing. Was it just... to scare her? She couldn’t guess. Then, she thought for a moment that she should tell her father what she had seen... But, no. He would not believe her for an instant. He would just tell her to go back to sleep and that it was all due to a bad dream.

Through all of her doubt, she was sure of one thing. Her heart yearned to escape Derelon... to leave... She did not know why, but she felt as if she must obey its order. She didn’t know how she would do it, but she had to find a way. Something in the distance called for her, needed her, even.

She quickly ran through a plan in her mind. She needed something that would work fast and allow for an easy departure. There were night guards assigned to every exit, surrounding all sides of the city, and it would not be easy to get past them. However, she would try, no matter what.

Eralynn emerged from her room and softly closed the door. The darkness remained thick around her, but fortunately, she knew her way through the corridor outside of her room and did not need the light. She crept towards the room next to hers and fumbled around for the doorknob. She moved her hand until she felt the cold, hard, round piece of metal, and turned it as quietly as possible.

Inside lay Orriso, sleeping soundly. She could hear him snoring softly, but could not see anything. It was pitch dark, and she nearly tripped over a few things on the floor. She felt around with her hands, and found the edge of her father’s bed. Using this as a guide, she walked towards the other end of the room. However, she found what she was looking for sooner than she had intended. She stepped on something soft and thin, which, upon her touch, proceeded to squirm, agitated. Immediately, Eralynn heard a hiss come from where the long, furry object was. She tried to pull her foot away in time, but it didn’t work, and suddenly, there were sharp teeth sinking into her skin. She bit her lip in pain, trying desperately not to make any noise. She could not afford to wake her father up. So, she shook her foot lightly, making the irritable creature release its grip.

“It’s only me, Donterr,” Eralynn whispered as quietly as possible.

She couldn’t see, but she guessed now that he felt less threatened, as he was backing away from her. Eralynn kneeled down to his level, knowing that, with his eyes, he could see her clearly through the darkness.

“Now, I have a-” She began, but immediately stopped when she heard her father shifting in his sleep to the side of her. She clenched her chest in fear as she heard him murmur something, but was relieved when he began snoring softly once again. She sighed in relief.

“Okay... I have a favor to ask of you, Donterr. Please, follow me back to my room,” she requested to the Pokemon.

They silently walked out of the room, Eralynn trying her best not to trip over anything, while Donterr was a type of Pokemon that was blessed with stealth, therefore, he barely needed to try. When Eralynn lit a candle in her room, she could finally see Donterr’s small, thin body, and his luxurious tan coat. He had rounded black ears and large shining eyes. Eralynn could see his sharp claws as he extended them from his paws while stretching. Donterr was a type of Pokemon known as a Persian. He was the Advisor’s pet, but being a cat, he wasn’t exactly loyal. He was completely independent, and mostly slept during the day. He was nocturnal, which meant he would normally be very active at night, roaming the streets of Derelon and hunting for mice. However, the Advisor always kept him locked in his bedroom with him during those hours, since he was worried that he would escape or get lost in the middle of the evening. Obviously, by assuming he would get lost, Orriso did not understand the level of a Persian’s intelligence.

Eralynn sat down on her bed and watched Donterr as he licked his paws without paying much attention to anything else. She scratched her head, wondering exactly how to make him pay attention, since she knew how self-centered he could be.

“Donterr, you know, I did you a favor by letting you out of that room, so I was hoping you could help me out with something,” the bargaining girl said.

Donterr kept licking his paw, but opened one of his eyes to look at her while he did so. He turned his arm at a different angle with every lick, letting his tongue lap the top of it, the side, and the underside, where the pads of his paws were.

“Okay. I’m in desperate need of a diversion tonight, to avert the attention of the guards at the borders of the city,” Eralynn said, her words spilling out of her mouth as she hoped that the cat Pokemon was listening.

Donterr put his paw to the floor and stretched, sticking his back up into the air and straightening his tail. He yawned and returned to his normal sitting position, staring at Eralynn with his slit, snake-like eyes. His attitude constantly reeked of sarcasm, but Eralynn couldn't help but like his company anyway.

“Um, well, it should be fun for you. I know how much you hate being cooped up in father’s room late at night. So, if I let you outside, and you do this for me, you can chase all the Rattata you want afterwards,” she wagered.

Donterr looked up at her now that he realized that there would be something in it for him as well. Selfish as he was, Eralynn sighed with relief, guessing that he was accepting to go through with this task for her. She opened her window, and Donterr immediately sprang from the ground and up onto the window sill. He sat for a second, allowing himself to absorb his surroundings. Head darting to the left and right to check which way he wanted to make it down, the Persian finally leapt out onto the roof and continued to climb down towards the earth.

Eralynn looked out the window and at the ground beneath her. She was only about twenty feet up, but it would still be something of a challenge to get down. She watched Donterr with jealousy as he made it down easily. Wishing she had the same climbing talent as him, she grabbed her bed sheet and tied the very end to her bedpost. She then attached her blanket to the other end of the sheet, forming a rope. She threw the attached sheet and blanket out the window, watching them as they fell. She could see that there was only about seven feet between the end of the blanket and the ground, so it wouldn’t be a long drop.

She climbed up onto the window sill and grabbed the sheet in one hand. Slowly, she pushed herself out the window, and held onto her assembled rope. She carefully climbed down, keeping her feet against the edge of the palace for extra balance. In her mind formed images of Spinarak gracefully descending as they hung onto their spiderwebs. Eralynn frowned when she realized that, in her struggling, she probably looked nothing like this. When she successfully reached the end of the rope, she dropped to the ground.

She now dusted herself off and looked around for Donterr. Of course, she couldn’t see well at night, so she was relying on him to come to her. “Donterr!” She whispered through the night air, hoping that he was in hearing distance.

Not amused by having to do Eralynn this favor, he trotted up to her slowly, but she could barely see him. She knelt down to where she imagined his eye level would be. “Listen, you need to act as a diversion for me, all right?” She asked.

“Mrawr,” Donterr meowed loudly.

“Shhh!” Eralynn responded, nearly losing her cool. “Now, I just need you to distract the guards at the South exit of Derelon. That’s the way I need to leave, since it’s closest to the forest. Also, I really need you to bring them towards... um, the archery hill, if possible. That’s the opposite way I need to go, so they’ll never see me.”

She got up and walked around the edge of the palace, towards the front, since they had hopped down into the back area. Once she got close enough to the street located in the front, she began to be able to see once more. The roads of Derelon were luminated by torches on either side, attached to the outter walls of pubs, banks, restaurants, and homes. They lit the way for anyone that traveled through the city by night, which was usually only the guards.

Eralynn stopped for a moment to take in the sight. The orange flames flickered and swayed on their torches as their soft light poured onto the street before the escaping girl. Before her, the stone roads were covered in the soft, beautiful glow, and it made Eralynn realize that she might miss this place in her absence... Wherever it was that she was going. She did not know... She only had a strong desire to continue on with the plan.

Eralynn looked down and saw Donterr walking at her side. They advanced towards the South side of Derelon, where Eralynn would make her escape. They walked the same way that Eralynn had gone the other day to see Aerance, but during the day, there would no guards on duty, so leaving the city wasn’t much of a problem.

Now, as they approached their destination, Eralynn could see two men on lookout. They stood atop the stone steps that led out into the plains, which in turn, led into the forest. They were mainly watching towards the outside of the city and not paying much attention to what was going on behind them.

Eralynn looked down at Donterr once again and nodded, directing him to begin his favor. She walked into an alleyway, where she could see what happened perfectly just by peering out from behind a building. She prayed it would work, because she didn’t want to have to struggle to escape.

The citizens of Derelon were not typically allowed to leave the city, unless it had to do with their job, or if they King permitted it. If one was to suddenly leave, many naturally would assume that this person was a traitor and was going to become one of Varlo Scantlar’s followers. However, people with duty of being a messenger were allowed to leave the city whenever they wanted. Sometimes, the King sent his loyal warriors on scouting missions, to see if they could find Varlo’s base, which, unfortunately, they never seemed able to. Also, the new warriors had to take their Last Journey. But, all in all, the remainder of people stayed in Derelon, in the comfort of their own homes.

This, therefore, was why the King needed guards. They were assigned to different locations on the border of the city of Derelon. Their objective was to make sure no one left, or got into Derelon City, without the King knowing about it.

Still, Eralynn knew that eventually, someone would find her room unoccupied, and figure that she had left, but she needed time to escape before they actually found out. The further that she could get away from Derelon without anyone knowing, the less chance they’d have of finding her. This would work especially well by her leaving the city at night. She was aware that her father and the King would probably send scouts to search for her, so she needed to gain a considerable amount of ground.

Eralynn watched Donterr creep silently up behind one of the guards, and then pounce. He landed square on the large man’s back, clinging to his uniform with his claws.

The guard jumped and instinctively reached back to grab Donterr and pull him off. He was too late, however, and Donterr jumped from this man’s shoulders to the other guard’s. The other reacted in the same way, but also dropped his weapon and reached for his back with both hands. Donterr was far too quick for these men, though, and hopped off, landing in between the two of them.

And now, he was done scaring them. He stood there, licking his paw for a moment, waiting for one of the guards to recognize him. He closed his eyes lazily as he did so and let his thin, flexible tail whip back and forth.

“Heyyy, isn’t that the Advisor’s pet?” One of them said, in a husky, unintelligent voice.

“I believe it is,” the other replied.

He sounded a bit smarter than his partner. The guard carefully approached the haughty Persian with his hands reached out, so as to grab him.

Donterr immediately stopped what he was doing, and leapt out of this man’s reach. He sprinted down the stone steps, causing the guards to chase after him. The heels of their boots padded on the steps until, at last, they reached the bottom and Eralynn could no longer hear them running. They had followed Donterr to the grass, and he would probably take them much further than that. Eralynn watched as they headed towards the archery hill, where she had terrorized those who were training the other day.

“Don’t let ‘im get away!” yelled the dumb-sounding one.

Eralynn took this as her opportunity. She ran out from behind the building, sprinting towards the steps. She hesitated, though. She could still hear the guards speaking. They couldn’t be too far from her, but she knew that this was her only chance, so she fled. She nearly tripped over rocks that lay on the stone steps as she flew down them as fast as she possibly could.

She reached the bottom of the steps, feeling the soft grass brush against her feet as she ran. She was tired, since she did not get any sleep, but she kept her eyes on the forest: her goal. She stared at the trees ahead of her as she ran, pumping her arms back and forth and never looking back. All there was to guide her was the faint moonlight. She squinted through the distance, trying to spot the familiar entrance to the forest, which she’d always used. She grew nervous when she could not find it, and she could feel her rapid heartbeat thudding out of sync with her pounding footsteps.

The exhausted girl stopped running at the edge of the forest, nervously scanning the area for anything familiar. Finally, she spotted what looked like a dark gap. She assumed that this was it, and she ran towards it.

While she could barely see out in the plains, she could not see in the woods at all. It was pitch black, and as soon as she had walked only about ten feet in, she lost sight of everything. Luckily, she had traveled this path so many times during the day, that she did not really need to see it to follow it correctly. She crept slowly along, reaching both arms out to feel for the trees as she walked by them. She tripped over a large branch laying across the narrow path once, but got up and continued on.

Eventually, after getting poked in the face by many a tree branch, Eralynn came to the familiar sound of rushing water ahead, and now knew for sure that she had been traveling in the right direction. She carried on, finally reaching the river, but she became worried.

How was she supposed to cross it in such darkness? She could walk the path with ease, but she needed to see the stepping stones in order to get across the river safely. She stopped right before the steep angle of the river’s bank, listening to the water and thinking of how she could possibly do this.

She slid down the steep slope, letting her feet into the shallowest part of the river. She removed her bow from its position and reached it out in front of her, feeling for the rocks that stuck out. She only had to check for a moment, then she felt her bow tap against something hard. She kept it there, picturing it in her mind, and stepped out onto it. It took her a second to catch her balance, but soon, she was standing on the smooth, cold rock without any trouble, avoiding the rushing water directly beneath her.

She continued to do this, gradually making her way across the dangerous moat guarding Aerance's cave. It wasn’t easy, but she managed to get about halfway across the river. She stood on one of the narrow stones, still panting from running earlier.

Everything had happened so fast. One moment, she was having some sort of vision, the next, she was standing in the middle of a river on top of a tiny rock and praying she wouldn’t fall. It seemed as if it had all occurred in one second.

Eralynn reached her bow out once again, feeling for the next rock. Once she had it, she stepped out. Then, when she believed it to be safe, she put all of her weight on the foot in front of her. Instantly, she knew something had gone wrong, as she felt her foot slide off of the next rock and into the water. Her knee slammed against the stone, causing her to scream in pain as her entire body collided with the river below.

She felt the cold water envelop her body, its current strong enough to pull her for a long way. In a split second, she struggled to pull her hands out from its depths, pushing out away from herself. She badly needed to grab hold of something, and she threw her hands threw the icy liquid that surrounded her. Arms flailing for some kind of contact, she felt her fingers finally clutch the rock that she previously meant to step on. Her bow was around her arm, now up at her shoulder from the force of the current. Her legs dangled behind her, as she kicked and struggled to find the bottom of the river.

In the end, she used her arms to pull herself up onto the rock into a sitting position. She was drenched from head to toe, dripping everywhere. Feeling it throb, she grabbed her bruised knee, and decided it would be best to take a short break. The girl rubbed the hurt kneecap, trying to stop the blood from flowing to the source so much. As she touched her wet skin, she forgot for a moment about what she had seen.

That vision... What did it mean?

Being reminded again so suddenly, she was up on her feet once more, struggling across the river. When she reached the other side, she hopped from the last stone to the steep bank, clinging to the wet grass and mud. She pulled herself up to where the ground was flat again, sinking her fingers into it and getting them tangled in the plants. Then, with a great sigh, she fell down onto her back.

She looked up at the stars through the treetops, not even really sure of what she was doing out here. The stars twinkled back at her, as if they were distant, clear, faintly glowing crystals. They were pinned in place by the dark blue surrounding them, which seemed to go on forever, as if the heavens didn't only look this way at night. Around Eralynn, the flowing sound of the river was still imminent, reminding her of her current situation once more.

Last edited by silverfrost; 07-29-2007 at 05:53 PM. Reason: Revisions
Reply With Quote
Old 07-02-2007, 02:07 PM
silverfrost's Avatar
silverfrost Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,562
Send a message via AIM to silverfrost Send a message via MSN to silverfrost Send a message via Yahoo to silverfrost
Default Chapter 4 continued

The soaked girl gradually let the shock of nearly drowning in the river lessen, and soon, she got up and tried to ring some of the water out of her cloak. Now that she was a bit drier, she stumbled through the dark towards Aerance’s cave. The thought of seeing her friend again cheered her up immensely, and she momentarily forgot that she had plunged beneath a fast flowing river.

As she got close to the cave, she saw an orange light glowing from inside. It lit her way, slowly becoming brighter and brighter as she went further inside. Holding the rough, uneven stone walls of Aerance's home, Eralynn crept all the way to the back. Now, she could see that Aerance was in the middle of a deep slumber. She was laying with her legs stretched out and her head resting on the ground, the flames of her mane dancing in the darkness.

Eralynn hated to break up such a nice sight, but she was in a hurry, and she needed her best friend’s assistance. “Aerance,” Eralynn whispered, hoping not to wake her too abruptly.

Aerance awoke with a start, though, whinnying in fear. It took her a moment to realize that it was only Eralynn, but then, a look of worry came over her face. Eralynn never visited during these hours of the night, so she stood there in silence, staring with her big, almond-shaped eyes and waiting for an explanation from her human friend.

Sensing the flame horse's fear, Eralynn began to explain. “Listen, Aerance, I’m sorry to wake you in the middle of the night, but... there’s trouble. You see, I had a sort of... vision while I was trying to sleep. It was like a dream, but not exactly one,” she tried to illustrate, but knew she wasn’t making much sense.

Meanwhile, Aerance just stared at her blankly, not knowing what to think. She merely snorted, urging Eralynn on.

“I saw Rhylan and the other warriors who are training. They were getting hurt and being captured by some giant, scary creatures, and I thought... I’d try to help them.” The words that flowed from her mouth seemed insane. Hearing herself describe her vision made it seem even crazier than it actually was.

Aerance blinked confusedly and walked closer to her friend. Sensing how worried and scared she was, she nuzzled against her cheek, attempting to comfort her. Eralynn felt Aerance's soft fur against her own face, and she reached up to pet the Ponyta, responding to her kindness. She finally felt the relief of being with her companion, and it seemed to lift much of the weight off of her shoulders.

“Do you want to travel with me, Aerance?” the girl asked her closest friend rather suddenly.

The flame horse nodded her head, however, whinnying happily. She did not want to see Eralynn go on such a journey by herself. It would be far too dangerous, and she would do anything she could to help.

Eralynn held onto Aerance’s reigns and led her outside of the cave. Then, Aerance kneeled lower to the ground, making it easier for the tired Eralynn to climb on. As the small girl pulled herself up, Aerance snorted in discomfort. Eralynn was still very wet, and being a fire type Pokemon, Aerance wasn’t fond of making contact with water other than to drink it.

“I’m sorry, I know you hate that I’m wet, Aerance,” Eralynn apologized. “Could you make it out onto the plains? It’ll be easier to ride the distance from there. The forest is too easy to get lost in, especially as you go further South.”

Aerance nodded, and set off at a trot towards the forest’s edge. With ease, she jumped the width of the river, making Eralynn remember how difficult it was for her. The girl considered holding onto the Ponyta's reigns and sitting upright, but instead put her arms around Aerance’s neck and laid her head down, barely able to keep her back straight and her head up.

Aerance used the usual path to escape the holds of the woods, blundering over protruding roots and under rough, lowly hanging tree branches. All the features of the forest frighteningly whipped by in the darkness as they went, only glowing from Aerance's bright flames for a moment as she quickly passed them by, and Eralynn could barely keep track of where they had gone. Aerance's speed disoriented the girl's sense of direction, and her leaps and jumps scared her into ducking down and closing her eyes, fearing that Aerance would trip or hit something.

After Eralynn had her hair caught in several branches and Aerance had nearly set these said branches on fire with her mane, the two of them made it out to the grassy plains. The area seemed so much brighter to Eralynn than it did before in comparison to the darkness of the woods. And now, Aerance’s flames, along with the silver moonlight, would light the way for her.

Eralynn suddenly felt hope now that she would not be journeying alone. They had been through so much together, and now, she had a feeling they were about to endure so much more. She smiled when she thought of Aerance's reaction to both her strange plan and the fact that it resulted from a bizarre dream. Who else in the entire world could she trust and talk to like this? Certainly no one that she had been aware of.

Aside from the fact that the flame horse was a good companion, she was also brave and could travel much more quickly than most other types of land Pokemon. Eralynn patted her loyal friend on her shoulder, thinking that perhaps now, it was possible to reach the warriors of the Last Journey in time...

“Okay, we must travel South, since that’s the way to Norsillon,” Eralynn explained.

Aerance kicked up her front legs and sped away from Derelon City. She galloped hard against the ground, and all that could be heard in the still night was the rhythmic thudding of her hooves. She stomped against the long grass of the field, sending some flying and flattening other parts as she went.

Eralynn wanted nothing more than to sleep now, but she forced herself to stay awake as Aerance galloped on and on in the night. She needed to keep her eyes open for anything that might help her in her search. It would be difficult to find the fallen warriors without clues hinting at their whereabouts.

She shivered, despite riding a fire Pokemon. The wind blowing against her damp clothes made her feel the cool evaporation taking place. And, although the light of the sun gave great warmth, its reflection off of the moon usually made the atmosphere feel much cooler, even if it wasn't. Fortunately, though, Aerance’s fiery mane was helping the girl to dry quicker.

Aerance and Eralynn had eventually ridden so far south, they could not even recognize the land any longer. Usually, they’d stay close enough to the city to remain safe, and had never traveled this far before. Although these parts were unfamiliar, Aerance kept running steadily and determinedly along the grass.

On either side of them, to the East and the West, they could see the great forests in the distance. Closely surrounding them were only pastures of grass and short, rolling hills. It was a rather boring route without much scenery, and yet, probably due to its unfamiliarity, it seemed so dangerous.

They rode for hours through the night, and they didn’t have any intention of stopping soon. They needed to get far, far away, and they let Eralynn's seemingly nonsensical dream take hold of them, pulling and tugging them farther and farther away from what they had always known to be home.

“Aerance, I think it must be very early in the morning, now,” Eralynn told her friend when she had finally realized how long they’d been running.

As she said this, she noticed something in the far distance. There was a white light pouring out of the woods and through the treetops. It continued for an infinite distance into the night sky, and Eralynn couldn’t see the end. It appeared to be some sort of spotlight, perhaps used to look far into the mysterious heavens. Whatever it was, Eralynn could not take her eyes off of it. The sight was irresistible and alluring, and made her more curious than ever.

She tugged lightly on Aerance’s reigns, signaling for her to stop. She stared, wide-eyed, and let her jaw drop in amazement. She could not avert her gaze from the white light.

“Let’s go see what it is,” she said, hoping that Aerance was as curious as she was.

Evidently, the flame horse didn’t have a problem with investigating the mysterious aura, since she didn’t hesitate to turn east, towards the forest, and trot onward.

The grove of trees on the edge looked just as every other area of forest they had passed did. It was very ordinary, except for the stream of light that showed from above the trees. Of course, Eralynn also hoped the inside of the woods was normal, as well. She didn’t want to be running into anything hungry...

They wandered through the dark woods, using only Aerance’s flames to show the way. Looking hard through all the branches, Eralynn spotted the white light. The trees were quite dense in this part of the forest, however, so she had to move around to see it as she and Aerance walked. Whether or not this was the origin of it, she did not know, but that was the way that Aerance took her.

The aura seemed to have put a spell on both of them, drawing them closer and closer. It almost seemed involuntary now, as if they were both being controlled completely. It forced them nearer, and they barely even realized it.

A twig snapped suddenly behind them, interrupting their hypnotic state. Eralynn and Aerance were immediately released from their trance, but it was not soon enough for them to get away...

Last edited by silverfrost; 07-29-2007 at 05:54 PM. Reason: Revision
Reply With Quote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

All times are GMT. The time now is 11:49 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: