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Old 07-13-2007, 08:45 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

Brilliant! :D

Please write more!
Hiatus :(
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Old 07-15-2007, 04:27 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

Yay, comments! Thank you! Ok, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 9: Ralts

Urgh. I can’t stand this crap anymore. Sittin’ in this gol-darn pokeball, cramped up like in a chick’n coop. And don’t think I ain’t know me undies’re showing. That sick Shupster’s probably takin’ pleasure in that now.

Off of that, I think my day of freedom is a comin’. My captors recently bought about 5 pokeballs, and recently another ‘mon joined our team. He was a Taillow, a flying lil’ sparrow. The way that Pokeball sucked the bird in, I couldn’t watch. Taillow, however, seems to find bein’ in a ball not too bad. Or so she said. Seems to me they’re plannin’ to send me out some day to fight so they catch another poor wretch of a Poke. And seein’ the likes of this dark, creepy place, I suppose it wouldn’t take too much brain to slip out while in battle and not be noticed. But alas, I suppose I’d have to wait – Butch and Cassidy sent me out in a battle with a kid but kept close watch. The other trainers ignored the two, and I’m assumin’ it’s ‘cause they’re too scary.

Suddenly me pokeball jerked to the back. “Ey, what the hell?” I yelled.

“Shut UP, Ralts,” said Shupster. “No one freakin’ understands you.” Then he was silent, and as I peeped outta the pokeball’s opening, I could see someone standing in front of us.

“And you are who, to have the nerve to be blocking us?” Butch snapped. Hey, this ought to be the first time I seen him so not a wuss.

The dude didn’t flinch. He looked about fifteen, with a blue bandanna wrapped around his head in a whoppin’ unusual manner. He crossed his arms casually over his black-and-white striped shirt, tipped his head to one side, and twisted his mouth into a little half-smile.

“Me?” he said. “Grunt of Team Aqua, that of which is motivated by the beauties of water to quench the thirsts of dry, parched land and saturating the – ”

“Cut the crap, kid,” spat Cassidy. “We don’t need advertisements on your – ” she raised two hands and made a ‘quotation’ signal, “group. We’re infamous ex-members of Team Rocket, dude. You heard about Butch and Cassidy, kid? Stop blocking the ****ing road.”

The Aqua grunt frowned. “You didn’t have to be so impolite, did you? Okay, I’ll move. And just a tip for next time,” he said as his frown deepened, “know how to control your ****in’ mouth in the ****in’ face of Team Aqua. I’m letting you off easy.”

Shupster tipped his head over in a mocking imitation of the grunt. “If you think you’re so damn sweet in that cocky attitude, why don’tcha show me what you and yo’ little fishies got, eh? Try and kill me, fishies. You ain’t succeedin’.” He attempted to spit at the Team Aqua grunt, whose face was now filling with red.

“Don’t you DARE insult water!” he yelled. “Okay, bring it, puppet. Go, Poochyena!”

The grunt sent his pokeball a-flyin’, and out hopped Poochyena, a dark gray and black dog, looking quite small and innocent.

Shupster fidgeted and I cursed out loud – Cassidy knew that Psychic was weak to Dark attacks, which was exactly what Poochyena’s type was.

“Well, here goes…” Shupster shut his eyes and a strange darkness was blanketed over us. I closed my eyes, yeah, I admit, of fear, but when I opened my eyes Poochyena was cowardly backed up on the grass. Wow, dude, this Shupster is good.

He turned around to me smugly and said, “That, my lass, is Night Shade. It’s not too effective on this one, but it’ll do. Wait till it attacks.” I kept my eyes on him and the Poochyena. Somehow, I was interested in all this.

The grunt laughed. “My Poochyena’s still strong. Poochyena, tackle!”

The dog sprang to Shupster in attempt of a fierce tackle, but it merely went through and away Shupster flew – and instantly cracked up.

“Nya nya nya nya, can’t touch this, dude!” cackled Shupster. “Don’t you know, kid? Physical stuff ain’t effective on ghosts, namely me.” The grunt glowered and swore, but Shupster had already took advantage of the grunt’s ragin’ and deftly smacked another Shadow Ball into Poochyena.

“Nicely done, Shupster!” yelled Cassidy. “Come back, I wanna give Ralts some experience!”

I lit up. Open the pokeball. Hurry! And as the ball hit the floor and I saw the Poochyena weak and limp, I had a second thought. Kill this guy, and receive experience AND fun. I thought about it again, and realized, yes, I could escape another time.

Shupster was still on. “She’s only got Psychic attacks!”

Cassidy frowned. “OK, Ralts, get back here. You’ve received experience already.”

And then the gold-darn pokeball sucked me back in, and it was only after I was back in that I noticed what happened.

“OH GOD DAMMIT!” I shouted. I missed my effin’ chance. I go out there, decide not to run, hoping to get some satisfaction or somethin’, then they make me return, without me gettin’ any satisfaction and not escaped either. I was so damn stupid it’s unbelievable.

Butch sent out Taillow, and with a few merciless pecks, she finished off the dog, spat at it, and reached home plate. I mean the pokeball. The grunt took back his fallen Poochyena and sighed.

“Well, I give up there,” he said, looking down.

Butch laughed. “Very nice. A true player knows when to stop.” Cassidy glared. “I mean trainer,” he added quickly.

“Money,” said Cassidy.

“What? No way,” protested the grunt. “Archie’s gonna kill me.”

Cassidy reached into her pocket and pulled out a white pistol, positioning it between the grunt’s eyes. “Money, or we are too,” she whispered, grabbing him by the collar.

The grunt’s bravery cracked. “Ok, ok, fine.” He removed ten bucks from his pocket, a green pokeball and glowered. “Guess I’ll just go steal another new product,” he muttered.

Cassidy ignored him and beamed. “Thanks,” she said, pinching the grunt’s cheek and grabbing the stuff. “Scram.”

The grunt took off like a lil’ squirrel.

Shupster smiled. “Another team?” he laughed. “However awesome it might be, I think you’ve just shown ‘em the real Team Rocket.”

The bug catchers, who were all crowded round to watch, broke into smatters of applause and cheers.

And a few minutes later, we were outta Ilex Forest and it was sort of dark out. Seeing a flowery motel right up the path, we crashed in for a stay, and really, I noticed some bug catchers point and smile at us.
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]

Last edited by Shiny Loser; 07-15-2007 at 04:31 PM.
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Old 07-26-2007, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

I told you. Watch your (bleeptherbleepin') language. This thread is gonna ge3t closed B4 it's time if you don't. Can you even control what your god-damn computer's gonna write? (rhetorical)
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Old 07-28-2007, 04:48 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Originally Posted by autism View Post
I told you. Watch your (bleeptherbleepin') language. This thread is gonna ge3t closed B4 it's time if you don't. Can you even control what your god-damn computer's gonna write? (rhetorical)
I didn't swear too much in this chapter! And anyway, see the rating? Pg-13 is probably okay with this, and I doubt it'll be closed anytime soon.
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]
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Old 08-15-2007, 04:28 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

Chapter 10: Butch Rydel

As the ring of my cell-phone’s alarm clock pierced my ears, I jumped up and thought back to the last twenty-four hours. We totally owned that Team Aqua dude, and in the process, even earned some fans. Did you see those kids pointing as we checked in? Dude, the TV is gonna be so over us.

An annoying voice broke into my thoughts. “What’re YOU daydreaming about? C’mon, we’re outta here,” said Shupster. “Our journey’s just, like, beginning. I heard the first gym’s near here.”

After roughly ten minutes of packing up and all that stuff you do early in the morning, we were indeed moving outta there. After checking out, we headed towards the door but the clerk stopped us.

“Here,” said the clerk, handing Cassidy a blue pail. “Use it to water berry trees.”

Cassidy stared at her as if she was retarded. “Dude, we’re not gardeners.”

“Hey, take that,” said Shupster. “Berries are awesome. You can make PokeBlocks out of them.”

The clerk smiled. “That’s right,” she said.

“What’re PokeBlocks?”

“They’re like, berry-flavored cakes,” said Shupster, “It’s totally awesome. I’ve been dying for a yellow PokeBlock ever since I came to you, since you dweebs don’t plant berries.”

“Ok, okay FINE, I’ll take it,” snapped Cassidy. “It’s free, anyway.”

The clerk smiled sweetly again. “That’ll be $1.95.”

“What? Ripoff,” muttered Cassidy. “Fine, here.” Grabbing the pail, she stomped off to the door, and we followed.


After a bridge of trainers we had to battle, I could finally catch a glimpse of the metropolis ahead of us that Shupster called Rustboro. However, before that, something cool happened. As we defeated the last trainer, Treecko was glowing – a green, semi-transparent aura surrounded its head. Suddenly it spoke – “Treecko treeeeeeee…” Shupster translated it into, “I feel an aura of change settle. Watch, puny mortals. Muahahaha.”

And as the green aura bursted to cover the whole of Treecko, I realized the light had expanded vertically and as it melted away into the air around us, Treecko took the light’s new shape and what I saw in front of me the next second was not Treecko.

“Grovyle,” it said.

“Evolution is indeed marvelous,” said Shupster.


And then we faced the bustling metropolis ahead of us.

“Well,” said Shupster, “let’s enter Rustboro City.”

“You said there’s a gym,” said Cassidy.

“I’ve never been here. I just know.”

“Fine, let’s look for it.”

I pointed to a little house, close to the center of the city. “Let’s go there. Looks friendly enough.”

As we approached I reached for the opportunity to slam the door open. And did, and the second I did, about thirty students and a teacher stared up at us. Apparently they were still in lessons.

Dammit, why’s always me that slams the door at embarrassing moments?

The teacher looked extremely offended at such rudeness as she glanced up at our party. “And what, may I ask, was so important that you had to come in without knocking?”

She smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe the girl’s havin’ a baby?”

Cassidy looked shocked. “Don’t you offend me, underage worker.”

“You have already offended me and my children. I was just making it even,” said the teacher coldly.

I glanced at Shupster and noticed that he looked like he was trying unsuccessfully to hide a laugh. In three seconds, it became clear that he wasn’t going to. Finally, he cracked up.

“You!?” said Shupster, screaming in laughter. “Dude, dudette. These are all your CHILDREN!?” I forgot about trying to stop him as I saw his point. And Shupster kept right on it:

“Dudette! Man! I mean, I can’t believe guys go for you… I mean, like, dudette! I seriously never saw someone with such bad taste. I mean, dude! Dudette! You got a ridiculous figure… and, and look at how you dress, man! I mean! Who wears PINK leggings with GREY skirts nowadays? That’s… that’s just…that’s just…that’s just UGLY, man!”

By this time both Cassidy and I were struggling not to laugh – at both what Shupster was saying and the teacher’s face, twisted and white with rage.

“That’s not true!” shouted a schoolboy indignantly. “Miss Roxanne is beautiful like a princess!”

This just made Shupster burst into another row of shrieks. “M-m-m-isssssss Roxanne. Is that what you teach your kids? To LIE!?? You guys. You guys,” he said, motioning to me. “Teaches them to LIE. About their MOTHER! GYAHAHAHHA!!”

Miss Roxanne looked fazed, but as soon as Shupster stopped laughing, regained her angriness. “You, miss,” she said fiercely, pointing a shaking finger at Cassidy, “need to educate this hooligan better,” she said as she turned and pointed at Shupster.

Shupster, ignoring the comment, looked thoughtful as he said, “But not considering her repulsive looks, she’d make a good hooker. Fiery temper, me likey.” He winked at Miss Roxanne, who looked even more shocked than Cassidy.

“You… you… utter disrespect…”

A schoolgirl raised her hand. “Miss Roxanne, what’s a hooker?”

At this even I couldn’t hold back a laugh. “This stuff’s not for you, kid.”

“Or,” said Shupster quickly, “you might consider BEING one later on in life.”

Miss Roxanne gasped. Acting on impulse, she grabbed the nearest thing she could reach to – a small cardboard box – and hurled it straight at Shupster’s face. Taken by surprise, the usually levitating puppet sailed with the box – at this point I could hear a rattling of something inside - and hit the floor. “Ow!” said Shupster.

“OUT,” yelled Miss Roxanne, motioning swiftly to the door.

“You make me,” grinned Shupster triumphantly from the floor.

Now that looked enough for Miss Roxanne, as she strode forward, grabbed both our collars, and pushed us out of the schoolhouse. As we watched, Shupster sailed out the door through the air and dropped on the floor again. He smiled wearily.

“Would’ve stayed there, but she kicked me,” he said. As I looked at him, I saw the cardboard box had followed him out the door.


“Sharp Claw,” said Shupster as he opened the box and revealed a large blue pill.


“This is a TM,” explained Shupster. “You can teach Sharp Claw, which is a move, to any Pokemon you have that is compatible with it.”

I blinked. “Compatible? And that is…”

Cassidy sighed. “I’ll tell you later. Let’s keep this until we feel like we need it, okay? From what I know now, we should be training for the gym.”
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]

Last edited by Shiny Loser; 08-24-2007 at 02:55 PM.
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Old 09-02-2007, 05:15 AM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Gah! Can’t you cut back on the dirty wordies? L0l, a fic can still be strong w/o such strong language!

I like this story as well, maybe even more than Crystal Fortress…. ‘cept I like C.F.’s characters better, no offense to these ones… ^^

Your strong suit again is…. Guess…. Of COURSE comedy…. Its great here as well…

Keep up the good work, but remember…. DETAIL is your best friend in Fanfiction, so use it please [it is alright now, but you want your detail to be magnificent!]

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Old 09-03-2007, 12:30 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Chapter 11: Roxanne Stoner

“Sit tight, Geodude,” I said softly. “This is going to hurt a bit.” I opened up the 3M Superglue I had in my hand and applied it to its fractured head. I did the same with a rather oversized piece of rock and carefully glued it onto Geodude. It flinched in pain and the glue slipped from my hand. Picking it up and at the same time holding Geodude to the chair, I prayed that I wouldn’t get a challenger today – I’d only have one available Pokemon.

“And if you just have to give me a challenger,” I said to God, “make sure they’re not for the Double League.”

Lifting myself up from the teacher’s desk, I retrieved the injured Geodude and paced the classroom. Maybe I should stay in the gym in case God ignores my prayer. Maybe I’ll just sit there… at least it has better air-conditioning. Also, what should I do with the Geodude? Take it to a doctor? No, I’ll see how well it recovers. But I am definitely not using him for a gym battle anytime soon.

I had never felt so tired in all my life. Maybe the burdens of being a gym leader were finally catching up to me. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had spent one whole hour erasing the word “Hooker” from the kids’ minds. The incident a week before considerably put a few more years on my face, I could tell as I looked in my pocket mirror.

Opening the schoolhouse door, I remembered kicking that Shuppet out, literally, after the incident. And suddenly realized I kicked my precious TM out with it.


Butch and Cassidy, after a week of training, were leaving the Devon Co. Snack Bar.

“Hey Cassidy,” said Shupster. “You haven’t shown me that Taillow yet.”

Cassidy rolled her eyes. “You haven’t been around when I trained it, food. I mean fool.”

“And anyway,” said Butch, “it’s emo.”

Shupster gawped. “It IS? Pokeball – gimme, gimme the pokeball – ”

Butch sighed and handed Shupster the pokeball. “What’s so interesting about emo?”

Shupster ignored him and stared into the pokeball. “Holy crap!” he exclaimed. “He’s grayscale!” The Taillow inside had a monotonous, grey color scheme, but it did not look shiny in any way. Shupster’s expression looked like one’s face when shrugging, because obviously he couldn’t shrug, and telekineted away the pokeball. “Maybe just an albino.”

Cassidy glanced around the city and cracked into a grin. “Enough wasting time… we’ve got like a hundred thousand bucks to make. GYM TIME!”


God apparently feels like being a ***** today, by his not answering my prayers. My fears of that were confirmed when I heard someone somewhere out in the city screech, “GYM TIME!”

I’m… I’m doomed. Geodude’s hurt, leaving me with two Pokemon. If this “GYM TIME” challenger’s a single challenger, I might have a chance… if he or she, probably she, really sucked that much ass. If it was Double League, however, I might as well be evicted from Gym handling.

I caught myself at that thought. Did I really just think “ass”? I’m under that much pressure? To use a vulgar word? But then again, it’s understandable at this point, I hope to any challenger who comes in here. Challengers wouldn’t mind an offensive, insulting, vulgar gym leader, would they?

Right then, I heard a bang, and the gym door opened, white sunlight leaking into the corners of my gym. And seeing the challengers, I knew instantly that they, at least these challengers, wouldn’t mind an offensive, insulting, vulgar gym leader. In fact, they would enjoy another one of them…


“YOU!?” gawped the green-haired guy.
“SERIOUSLY!?” gasped the orange-haired girl.
“You on a part-time job?” snickered the Shuppet.

To be honest, I have never been so shocked in all my life. This was way more than coincidence. It wasn’t destiny either. Destiny was supposed to be good. NOT this. NOT two people and a Shuppet who barged into my class and talked about hookers and are now challenging me for the Double League.

I tried to act cool though. Crossing my arms and lifting myself to my full height, which was barely more than 5 feet, to be honest, I said in fake bravado, “Yeah, me. I am the proud Gym Leader of the prestigious Rustboro Gym. Care to make up for your disturbance of my class a few weeks ago?” In fact, I was really worried that I would lose to these people and ruin my reputation. But mostly, of my smooth record of 1033 wins and 22730464 loses.

“Cool,” said the orangehead, rolling her eyes hard. “Look, we’re here for the like, Double League, you’re our first stop and we would really appreciate it if you would like, cut the whole battle thing and give us the badge or one-eighth of our hundred thousand dollars or whatever…”

I stiffened. The nerve to ask for a gym badge directly! These low-class people ought to be punished. “No, you may not. To get to the badge, you have to go through me,” I said firmly. To my surprise, the Shuppet broke into a grin.

“O RLY?” it asked suspiciously, glancing at me. I glared back.

“YA RLY,” I spat back.

“NO WAI!” Shuppet cackled triumphantly, and before my mind had the time to comprehend what it was actually going at, it just flew clear through me and I turned to face the malicious, grinning face.

“You wear BLACK shorts under those leggings?” it asked.

I was aware that my face was turning red from both fury and embarrassment. I was so angry that even though I wanted to say something, it wouldn’t come out as what I wanted it, just swear words…

“You said ‘Ya Rly’,” said Orangehead. “Badge please.”

Finally the boiling volcano of my anger let loose of the lava. “NO,” I yelled.

“Promise-breaker!” shrieked Orangehead. “Get her, Shupster!”

I was quicker than her. “GO, NOSEPASS!”

My best Pokemon, Nosepass, screeched fiercely as it emerged from the Pokeball. I noticed again that the Shuppet was smiling in that suspicious way.

“Go, idiot! Oh…..yeah?” mumbled the greenhead. “Yeah, okay. Grass…water? Okay… thanks, Shupster.” Then he faced me. “Experience the power of Butch Rydel!” he announced. “Go, Tr – uh, Grovyle!”

Crap! Grovyle? I’m dead. Nosepass is dead. My reputation is dead. I know all of that… but I’ve got to try.

“Nosepass, Rock Tomb!” I commanded. Nosepass did a quick pirouette, and large chunks of boulders detached themselves from its arms and headed for Grovyle. Rock Tomb was my repertoire move – and also the move I handed out after being beaten. That being said, it’s my favorite and strongest Rock-type move. Although I can’t be sure it’s very effective on fast-moving grass-type Pokemon.

It wasn’t. Grovyle, in a split second, had dodged three of the boulders. As soon as the last boulder reached Grovyle, it kicked it straight away – that action being somehow familiar to me.

“Grovyle, Razor Leaf!” ordered Shupster. Sharp, razor-shaped leaves as hard as metal lacerated Nosepass’s outer layer of rock, and it fell heavily onto the hard gym floor.

“Nice,” cheered Orangehead. “Again!”

Grovyle didn’t move. I wanted to take the chance, but Nosepass was hurt…

Shupster looked annoyed. “Um, Cassidy, can I do this? You do know that… this is hard to say… Promise you won’t cry.” He didn’t wait. “He doesn’t like you. AGAIN, GROVYLE. THRICE!”

I knew Nosepass wouldn’t survive three more Razor Leafs from the high-level Grovyle. Instantly I called out an attack to Nosepass – Rock Throw. No dice, and although Grovyle was in bruises by this point, Nosepass was obviously a lot weaker.

“Yo Grovyle,” said Shupster in that annoying air of confidence, “Let’s beat this rock thing into the ground…together!”

And with three powerful attacks administered by Shupster and Grovyle, I was defeated. 1033 wins and 22730465 loses. I couldn’t believe it… but I had lost to them. Suddenly an urge to do something I wasn’t supposed to do seized me. That’s it. No. I will not give them the badge…

“Thanks for the badge!” called Cassidy cheerfully, waving one of my precious Rock Badges in the air. “Hope you don’t mind us taking one directly from the suitcase, do you?”

And I don’t know what happened next… I fainted out of anger.


“Rock Badge…” said Shupster thoughtfully. “Oh wait… I knew something was missing! Come on, guys. We gotta get the TM for Cut!”

Butch swung the door open, only to find a messed-up guy in a scuffed green jacked looking completely panicked.

“Oh, thank god. Thank god,” stuttered the guy. “Guys, you gotta help me… my Devon Goods… stolen by Team Aqua...!”
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]

Last edited by Shiny Loser; 12-28-2007 at 02:57 PM.
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Old 10-31-2007, 01:48 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

Chapter 12: Taillow

“Hurry up, dudette, let’s go get that HM,” said Shupster to Cassidy.

The man in the green jacket looked visibly distraught at his being ignored. Ah, the sweetness of desperation. When ignorant people wallowing in the satisfaction of their perfect, perfect lives suddenly get bombarded in the balls by that component of living that they’ve forgotten ever existed, it is considerably bittersweet – you know they get what they deserved, to forget that life is only pain, pain, pain. And right now, that man in the jacket sputtered a pathetic plead:

“Aren’t you going to help me? My Devon Goods! Team Aqua, those thieving lowlifes! They took my goods!”

“Come on, let’s go,” mumbled Butch, shuffling in the spot. Cassidy nodded in acknowledgement.

“Please!” wailed the stranger in another pitiful plead, as if he truly was hoping for help from troubles he wrought upon himself. Pitiful, that’s the word to describe this scene I’m watching live from the pokeball.

Finally Shupster, that unnervingly smart puppety figure, turned half around as if he was only now conscious of the intruder, and glanced at him through a slanted eye-corner. “Do we know you?” he inquired lazily.

“N-n-n-no,” stuttered the man, clearly not expecting the response. “But I was hoping you’d, you’d help me out for a good cause… Team Aqua! I mean, don’t you want to stop them?”

Shupster’s voice still hung with that unfamiliar lazy atmosphere as he questioned the man yet again: “What’s Team Aqua?”

Ever since I was caught, I’ve been uncertain about, and almost feared, Shupster. He was in no terms like a Pokemon, and I could never tell what was on his mind whenever he said something confusing, like what he was saying now. His mind was inexplicably complicated, frequently expressing human emotion and just as well, human faults. And right now, I could as much read his intentions as I could find a suitable simile to insert here…

The green jacket man twisted his face incredulously. “Don’t tell me you’ve never heard about them!”

Shupster’s face brightened. “Well, I don’t think I have,” he said innocently. “Should I have? I mean, unless you’re talking about those striped-shirt, blue-bandanna gangsters of which Pokemon we beat the living crap out of one month ago.” He smirked and the man’s face filled with hope.

“Come on, let’s go,” Shupster said conclusively, motioning to the humans.

“Wait!” the man pleaded again, pacing after us. “You’ve got to help me!”

This time Butch answered that loser, something apt for the situation. “What’s in it for us?”

This apparently took the man completely by surprise. As if he didn’t expect such a cold-blooded retort for his plead, even though it was perfectly sensible. At least you know now, my salesman.

“Uh, uh…”

“Let’s blow this place,” Shupster said, deliberately loud.

“Wait, no!”

“Okay,” said Cassidy, turning around with a forced, hard, patient look on her face and a giant sigh. “How about we help you…” The man’s face turned hopeful again. “and YOU in turn give us half of whatever’s in your Devon Goods goodie bag.”

The man frowned immediately and his voice turned desperate once more. “No! I can’t! My boss would never forgive me…”

Shupster tsked impatiently. “Let’s blow this place.”

“Wait, no! Please!” cried the man, this time his voice tone reaching the zenith of the pathetic. “How about, just doin’ it for the satisfaction?”

There’s no real satisfaction in life, mister. I see your lesson that you ought to have learned is still far from your weak, weak grasp, eh?

Cassidy turned on her heel in a menacing stare. “Look, we’ll give you ten minutes to think about it while we go get the Cut HM,” she said tartly.

The man’s face plunged into despair. “I-i-i don’t have time… well, all right FINE,” he finally consented with a fake impatience.

Ten minutes later, we were back in front of the gym, where the pathetic man was waiting loyally for us, sitting on the dusty steps in front of the gym door with his head on his retracted knees and his fingers twitching fiercely.

“We’re back,” yelled Shupster.

The man gave a sigh of relief so huge the peppermint from his gum (being chewed just as fiercely) hit me full force on the face, even through that microscopic hole in the Pokeball.

“Look, I’ve got it figured all out. This was really hard…” he said, chewing now not only on his peppermint gum but on both of his protruding lips, “but… yeah, I’ll split the Goods with you, just get them back for me, kay, kay?” he finished really quickly, as if he hoped we would be dimwitted enough to not hear completely our part of the deal.

Cassidy nodded, unsuccessfully trying to hide her anticipation. “That’s more like it,” she grinned. “Care to take us to where he went?”

The man’s brow was knotted in clear annoyance. “Wasted so much freakin’ time, they’re probably gone by now…” he grumbled. Reconsidering after Shupster’s warning glance, he sighed. “Okay, follow me, dammit.”


As we approached a cave opening at the end of Route 116, the man shivered and turned back. “You carry on, I’m not going in there,” he said. Cowards get pickpocketed easily, my salesman.

“Okay,” Shupster sighed. “We’re closing in on the danger zone. God help us.”

There seemed to be something else, however, standing upright besides the cave mouth. It was only when we closed in that I noticed the figure’s glasses and bald head. It was an old man, as agitated as the salesman, and I wondered if he got robbed of Devon Goods as well. I soon got my answer.

“Young lad?” the old man said in an ancient, wheezy voice, motioning to Butch. “Do you see that cave over there?”

“Yeah, what about it?”

“My poor old Peeko. He’s trapped in there with nasty people,” the old man said, his eyes liquefying. “and they won’t free him till I pay them.” A tear dropped to the ground. “He’s scared, my Peeko.”

Butch frowned. “Sorry, no time, gotta get goods,” he said quickly, and raced, with Cassidy following, into the hole. To be honest, I didn’t feel sorry for the old man crying over there, because it’s just as the world is – time for money. And we’re on our way to getting money, so don’t waste our time.


This chapter's more of a bridge chapter, because a battle's up next...
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]
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Old 12-28-2007, 02:44 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

I'm back! I really couldn't give up on this despite almost no one reading it, because I have HUGE plans xD

Here's chapter 13, the battle for Devon Goods...

Chapter 13: Shupster

That cave was of the thickest mist, of the darkest void, a representation of complete blindness set before my eyes. Okay, that was a bit exaggerated, but it was seriously hard to see anything in there. My first thought was wondering why Team Aqua would set their base into such a sight-defying background, but my next one was, heck with that. Anyway, their base are belong to us soon.

Cassidy kicked something hard, and by the sound of it, it must have been another box. I had no time of finding out, as Cassidy immediately dropped it inside May’s bag. I know I shouldn’t call it May’s bag anymore because we have it, but I stole it for them, so I DO WHAT I WAUNT.

Either the guy was lying, or my 1.2 eyesight was failing me – there was no Aqua grunt in sight. I didn’t mind – I preferred to get my eyes to actually see something before owning someone in battle. But to be honest, I really haven’t battled much – my first battle happened on this travesty of a journey. I know his intentions for me were far from a battle Pokemon intended to bring him the League Champion title, far, far from that…


Who’s him?

Who am I thinking of? It makes no sense… Knowing someone’s intentions, but not knowing who that someone is specifically... I always knew I had a screwed-up mind. And that no doubt owed its existence from him, again, him, who I had no idea was.

Why were these memories spouting out again? I put them all behind, for sure. Maybe it was something about this cave that triggered negative thoughts? I never had time to figure it out, as a strangled shout of “You!” rang out, my vision had already cleared and made way for a guy in a blue bandanna staring at us in disbelief.

Butch responded first. “Yeah, us. Hand over the Goods,” he said. I sort of admire how much he’d developed in the intelligence sense since the journey, but I must say that he needs to work more on witty comments. Cassidy obviously thought that response was incredibly stupid, by the way she punched Butch out of the way.

“So, Aqua grunt, we meet again,” she said instead. “How come it’s always you on scrap jobs?”

The grunt was undaunted. “Those with greater potential are often placed on the bottom of the work list because Boss worries that suckers might lose their self esteem and in turn, a Pokemon battle,” he replied, almost cautiously.

I knew we wanted the goods, and it would be best if we avoided any trouble of large scale. However, “Your boss’s either stupid,” I heard myself saying. “or a crackhead.” And the weird thing was, I couldn’t stop. “Or maybe he made this decision while selecting one his twenty concubines in which at least a quarter would be from his own team,” I continued to insult. And right after I felt two hard hands close in fury around my neck, I thought in panic, what is wrong with me!?

“You know, belonging to a Team yourself you should at least have some idea of the utterly high respect to the Boss,” the grunt was saying. Now feeling this unfamiliar inner self get ready for another wisecrack, I struggled to stop it, as well as to inhale some oxygen. As the latter was quickly deprived from me I heard good old Butch try and help me out.

“Only cowards try and weaken their opponent’s Pokemon by attacking it themselves,” he said. And then I was like, what the f***? How is THAT going to help me but I soon realized that it was because the grunt was paying attention to that guy with the green hair saying retarded stuff and he was loosening his grip on my neck and I COULD BREATHE. I could breathe?

“Give me that book,” demanded the grunt. “That is not written in the Pokemon Battling Almanac 2007.”

“Yes it is,” shouted Butch as he hurled a Playboy into the grunt’s face. Picking it up, the grunt dropped me completely as I took my first complete breath in about 30 seconds. He scanned the torn magazine as I scanned him. “What the? This isn’t the Battling- ah. Aw yeah,” he started murmuring as he flipped the page. “Uh huh. Yeahhhhhhh.” This continued, and only after one of his hands slipped suspiciously into his pockets did I see a perfect chance to start a battle, the only way out which of course I didn’t want but hadn’t avoided. As I gathered up my replenished energy and pitched a Shadow Ball attack at the grunt, I couldn’t help but think Butch was pretty smart – I mean, a guy’s greatest weakness IS, a lot of the time, his sex drive.

When I looked up, my well-aimed Shadow Ball had smacked the Playboy to the floor of the cave, where a stalagmite had been waiting patiently to jab right through the spine of the magazine and tear it up even more. The grunt was also floored from the impact (unfortunately my Shadow Ball wasn’t powerful enough to propel him onto a stalagmite), fumbling for a Pokeball on his belt. When he at last had a firm hold of one, I noticed an abnormally tall green Pokemon already standing beside me, looking ready to fight. It took me a while to notice that it was the evolved form of Treecko.

Standing up from what looked like chronic arthritis, the grunt flung his Pokeball onto the cave floor. “You guys wanna battle, eh?” he said, forcing a smirk. He then backed away as a miniature but evil-looking fish patched with orange-and-blue crusts appeared in a flash of blue light. I heard Cassidy’s Pokedex describe the Pokemon in a clear, monotone voice that reverberated through the cave.

“Carvanha. Water/Dark. Savage Pokemon. If anything invades Carvanha's territory, it will swarm and tear at the intruder with its pointed fangs. On its own, however, this Pokémon turns suddenly timid.”

“That certainly explains the matter,” said Grovyle to me. “I was pondering on wherefore a Dark type Pokemon may appear so cowardly.”

“Cut down on the superfluous grandiloquence, mister,” I spat back. “Do something. Britney Spears commands you.”

“Carvahna, use Rage at the Grovyle!” yelled the grunt.

Carvanha, on the command, started glinting and it hurled itself at Grovyle, biting and lashing its tail at the lizard’s face ferociously, almost as if it was having a seizure. I floated up from the ground to avoid the fangs, because I didn’t need to help Grovyle – his amazing defense kept his stamina strong and green. “Grovyle, use Purs – ” I heard Butch say behind me.

“GYAHH, NO!” I yelled in panic, cutting the command short. “No Pursuit! Pursuit bad, Tree- I mean Grovyle! Pursuit suck! LEAF BLADE! DO LEAF BLADE!”

Who wouldn’t listen to such a demented command? Grovyle turned, nodded, and tilted his mouth in what seemed to be an “Okayyyyy….?” smile. Then he turned back to the battle scene with sharp blades of foliage spread out on his forearms. The razor-edge leaves whizzed through the damp cave air and cut through the disgusting fishy-thingy’s rough, cracked scales as Grovyle deftly flicked them out, one by one, like ninja shurikens. Carvanha cried out in extreme pain and its stamina seemed to be pretty lowered.

“Nice one,” I encouraged. Then Carvanha glinted again in preparation for another Rage attack, and hurled itself at the empty space that Grovyle had been standing on two seconds before. Appearing from behind it, Grovyle slashed Carvanha with a sharp claw in what looked like a Fury Cutter, only weaker. Grovyle looked pretty tired from what I saw, as Carvanha sunk pointed fangs into his arm with a fierce Bite attack.

“Holding on?” I asked Grovyle in the midst of slashing, Carvanha groaning, and trainer commands.

“Considerably,” Grovyle panted back, finally KOing Carvanha with a Leaf Blade.

Cassidy sent out Taillow for some practice on the next Pokemon, a Poochyena. Because of emo old Taillow’s low level it teetered near a faint, but it managed.

Battle having ended, I looked behind the defeated grunt and saw a timid-looking, shivering Wingull pressed up in the corner of the room. Its wings were bruised and folded up in skewed angles. I remembered vaguely about the old man asking for his Peeko, so I figured Peeko must be this Wingull. I signaled to Cassidy.

“Later, Shupster,” she said. “Gotta punish this kid.” She strode over to the grunt and now signaling to Butch, threw the grunt against the wall. Butch, right on cue, walked over, and with a force completely unlike his usual stupid attitude, ripped the grunt’s pants right off. Both previous Rocket members walked back to where I was floating, leaving the guy in his boxers. Cassidy skillfully flipped the trousers on her hands upside-down, and the legendary Devon Goods scattered onto the cave floor with a KLATTER that couldn’t have sounded more kickass. Silence ensued, but it was like an old glorious dream revived when Butch finally spoke again…

Prepare for trouble and make it double!
To infect the world with devastation
To blight all peoples in every nation
To denounce the goodness of truth and love
To extend our wrath to the stars above
We're Team Rocket, circling earth all day and night!
Surrender to us now, cause you’ve lost the fight!

That was Raticate’s cue, right? Now he’s gone. So who else’s could it be but MINE!?

“Gyahahaha! That’s RIGHT!”

And the old man behind us exploded into cheers.
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]
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Old 12-29-2007, 06:23 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Nice, but I think you need to sort the paragraphs better. They're too much of them.
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Old 01-01-2008, 02:29 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

You bring up a good point. I'll try and make longer paragraphs of action and less dialogue. Though I can't say I'll succeed. xD

Here's Chapter 14, told in the ol' fisherman Mr. Briney's point of view.


Chapter 14: Egbert Briney

I was so full of joy that I couldn’t speak.

Finally, I did. “Good heavens!” I exclaimed. “You youngsters have saved my Peeko! How can I ever reward you?”

“How about a – ” the lad said.

The girl kicked him in the shins. “We’re not stealing from an old man,” she whispered. “That would hurt even MY conscience.”

“It’s okay,” I assured them as I pretended to misunderstand the girl. “I realized we haven’t properly introduced each other yet,” I said. “I’m Egbert Briney.”

“Nice to meet you, Egbert,” said the lad, flashing a thumbs-up. “I’m Butch, and that’s my battle partner Cassidy.” He pointed at the girl.

The puppet Pokemon, hovering close to Cassidy’s head, coughed. “Forgetting someone?”

“Oh, right. This is Shupster.”

I nodded at Shupster in acknowledgement and continued to gush with gratitude. “My word! To think I’ve always believed that Team Rocket was filled with thieving criminals! How dreadfully wrong I’ve been!” The partners grinned, and I gathered Peeko up in his arms, stroking its feathers vigorously. “My dear boy! Did they hurt you? Oh, look at those bruises! We’re gonna get you cleaned up and…”

Shupster coughed. “We?”

I looked at him curiously. “Oh yes, we!”

Shupster looked annoyed for some reason, but hadn’t even begun to protest (and that’s saying a lot) when a Devon employee came running up to them. “Oh thank goodness. Oh, my, freaking, God. You got the goods!” he exulted in relief. “Here, here, give’em to me…”

Shupster coughed. “Our side of the deal.”

The man visibly drooped. “Oh. Right. Yeah.” Cassidy handed half a pocket of stuff to the man, and he grabbed it hastily. “Well, at least we got half.” He paused. “Which reminds me… the boss would be so happy to know we got some of the goods back! He is going to be SO pleased with you guys. You’ve gotta come with me!” he exclaimed, and grabbed hold of Cassidy’s wrist. “Hurry up! We gotta see him!”

“Well in that case,” I said, “I’ll follow you folks.”

An improbable team marched towards the Devon headquarters – an employee, two ex-Rocket members, a talking Pokemon and an old fisherman. Whoever might have seen them on the street must have wondered greatly about what they were up to.

The elevator chugged slowly to the sixth floor where the office of the CEO of Devon was situated. As soon as the elevator door pulled open, the Devon employee burst out and raced towards the office. Other employees turned around to stare at the unruly sight but immediately smiles appeared on their faces as they realized what he must be so hyper about – the Goods were retrieved! Their hunches were confirmed when the running man started screaming, “BOSS!! WE GOT THE GOODS!!!”

The troupe entered the Boss’s office. “This really reminds me of the fateful day we got fired by a pissed Giovanni,” she said happily.

“You seem happy we got fired,” said Butch.

“But it was all for the better, right?” replied Cassidy. “If he hadn’t done it, we’d still be stuck in Team Rocket trying fruitlessly to earn Pokemon deceitfully. But now with a little skill and experience we’re actually earning whole products deceitfully! We’ve gotta thank that Wallace person.”

“So,” said the Boss slowly. “What are you here to tell me? Are you going to beg me not to fire you because you failed to get the goods?”

“No! I pray! No, sir!” declared the Devon employee. “I am in fact going to introduce to you the heroic people who helped take back half of the Devon goods from the wrath of Team Aqua!”

The Boss nodded thoughtfully. “Half. Well, that could be pretty much called a success. Those Goods in total may have been worth five thousand dollars in themselves. Twenty-five thousand is good enough.” He turned to Cassidy. “Why half, though?”

“Well, actually… actually… they…” said the employee, fidgeting.

Cassidy fixed the Devon employee with a steely glare and said, “We couldn’t manage it, sir. Team Aqua had hidden half of the Goods away and we couldn’t find it, as much as we tried.” She nodded solemnly and turned her head to Shupster. “Did you hear that!?” she whispered. “25k of moneh!!” Apparently some secret trade had gone between the employee and the Rockets, but perhaps that’ll be one of those eternal mysteries of mine.

The boss sat thoughtfully for about a few seconds. “Well, I’m not completely pleased, but half is quite a feat. Thank you, and I presume you are training for the Double League?” Shupster nodded. “Ah. So your next destination should be Dewford Town. In that case, I have an errand I need you guys to run. I’ll pay you $20.”

“Done,” said the team unanimously.

I brightened up. I had a running business of taking people to Dewford! And I told them exactly this and that this was the way I was going to repay them.

Suddenly, the elevator door opened to reveal a firm-chested, platinum-blond girl dressed in khaki shorts and a lime-colored tank top, who stepped out on the linoleum with a click of her platform sandals. Quite a looker, I thought. Heads turned and Shupster’s mouth dropped open. “Holy crap,” he muttered. “Check out those puppies, Butch… they’re breaking her shoulders.”

“A-herm,” said the boss, annoyed. “Watch what you say about my daughter.” He paused, again. “This favor I’m asking you is regarding her.” He looked up at his daughter, who was already in the room.

“Daaaaad,” asked the girl , tossing her golden hair away from her neck. “Have you sent out my letter yet?”

“Not yet, Bonnie,” smiled the boss. “These people are going to do it for you.”

Shupster winked. “Anything, babe.” Bonnie winked back.

“Aherm,” said the boss again. “This letter you are sending is nothing professional. It is simply a love letter from Bonnie to her boyfriend training in Dewford…” he sniffed distastefully. “Steven Stone, the CHAMPION,” he finished, rolling his eyes behind his spectacles.

“Steven is a respectable, hard-working and charming guy,” said Bonnie defensively, slotting her hands into her pockets. “And ultra-hot as well,” she added with a playful grin.

“Coming from you, I’ll take your word for it,” replied Shupster.

“Stop flirting, Pokemon,” snapped the boss. He turned back to his daughter. “Mr. Stone is skin-deep, and a narcissist.”

“You,” answered Bonnie, pointing an accusing finger, “just never take the time to even TRY and get to know him. And you’re badmouthing him like you do.”

“Hey, hey, hey, let’s chill out over here,” said Butch. “Give us the letter, we’ll move on and move towards our hundred thousand bucks, and you can have fun with your father-daughter arguing all you want.”

The boss sighed, opened a drawer in his desk, flung one last fierce look at his daughter, and fished out a letter from the scrap-paper-stuffed drawer (I heard the rustles). “I’ll take care of it,” said Cassidy as she put it into a front pocket of her adorable red-and-white bag.

“Thank you again,” the boss said to us as we left his office, ready for a journey on my boat to Dewford! I headed south for my home in Petalburg, and the Rockets followed. We emerged from Ilex Forest, and soon I could see my little beautiful cabin. I heard Shupster ask, “Hey, Egbert. Are we going back to Petalburg?”

“Why yes,” I smiled. “We’re here already. It’s where my home is.”

“Oh, okay,” replied Shupster. “Can you look out for the cops for us?”

And with a laugh, five minutes and a roar of the boat engine, we were headin’ off to old Dewford!
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]

Last edited by Shiny Loser; 01-01-2008 at 02:33 PM.
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Old 01-01-2008, 11:04 PM
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Cool Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Ok, good. Less swearing as the story goes on. You can definitely tell a good story without swears. As for the story itself, this is hilarious. Keep going and don't give up on it!
I'm not really on this site anymore due to the horrible lag, so if you want to contact me, DA would be your best choice.

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Old 01-02-2008, 01:35 PM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn (PG-13)

Originally Posted by Michelle8936 View Post
Ok, good. Less swearing as the story goes on. You can definitely tell a good story without swears. As for the story itself, this is hilarious. Keep going and don't give up on it!
Thanks and yeah, the swearing is getting less. xD The story's pretty close to becoming serious, as you'll see in the third gym. Thank you for commenting anyway!!

A sneak peek at the next chapter...

We are introduced to Steven Stone, who is training solo in the cave on the coast of Dewford Town. Meanwhile Butch and Cassidy go straight into the cave - without knowing that Flash can't be used outside battle before fighting Brawly (Roxanne couldn't tell them, remember?). Yep, you got it - they get stuck inside.
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]
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Old 01-03-2008, 12:38 AM
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Cool Re: Butch and Cassidy - To Trash Hoenn [PG-13]

Aw jeez, ya gotta wonder.
Of course, I probably shouldn't be burning them, seeing as how I can often relate...
Get the next chapter up pronto!
I'm not really on this site anymore due to the horrible lag, so if you want to contact me, DA would be your best choice.

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Old 02-28-2008, 09:19 AM
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Default Re: Butch and Cassidy - A New Beginning (PG-13)

Chapter 15: Steven Stone

My Bonnie is over the ocean,
My Bonnie is over the sea.
My Bonnie’s at Rustboro City,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back
Oh bring back my Bonnie to meeeeee
Bring back, bring back
My dear sweetheart Bonnie to meeee.

I smiled as I read over this magnificently composed poem that I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, wrote, to none other than the daughter of the Devon CEO, Bonnie. I read over it again, pleased at its original stanzas and beautifully curved E’s. Drifting off into what seemed like an ephemeral daydream, I sat up suddenly from my bed of rock where I was reading my letter, realizing an important part was missing, and in a few seconds I remembered what that was – a beautiful signature of me, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION. Slipping my royal-blue fountain pen out of my right pocket, I signed the letter, letting the letters flow and curve freely on the cardboard until I halted the pen at the final curvy E. I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, love Bonnie with a passion that none of you shallow readers may imagine, and thus in turn will not understand the depth of the poem. And who says I can’t write a poem? All my previous English teachers did, but all I have to do is believe in myself, and I can do anything. Apparently I believe in myself.

I immersed myself in the somewhat narcissist but certainly calming thoughts as I lay back down on my bed of rock. I have a feeling one of these days will be more than just a training day….


“We’re here!” announced Mr. Briney as the troupe pulled up on the shores of Dewford Island. The sand on the beach was a lovely cream-white, and the sun reflected joyfully off the sea to make it appear like one perfectly cut sapphire. Ahead, a little to the east, the humble town, dotted with little red-roofed wooden lodges, was in sight. But what was right in front of them was the pitch black, gaping mouth of a cave – most likely the cave that Bonnie’s boyfriend, Steven, was training in. “What a lovely, lovely place contrasted by such dark void,” commented Shupster dreamily.

“Why do you always talk about void, Shupster?” asked Cassidy.

“Interesting word, it is, isn’t it?” replied Shupster, swiveling his head and scanning his glowing eyes across the scene. “Look at this landscape. So pristine, so pure. Oh, ew, fishermen. Anyway, isn’t it hard to imagine, if you’ve never ever seen these places before, that anything this dark, this mysterious, exists here? That’s void.”

Butch turned. “You realize there’s a fisherman in our presence, right?”

“Loads of them. Look at ‘em. SICK, man.”

“No, I’m talking about EGBERT.”

Shupster stopped dead. “Aw sh-…. Aw…. Oops.” He grinned sheepishly at Mr. Briney, who had crossed his arms over his chest and was scowling. “Well anyways, I can’t wait to see that Steven guy. How the HECK did he get that Bonnie girl? I mean, that’s going to take looks, charisma, charm and three thousand bucks. Come on, let’s go in.”

“Wait, don’t we need food or water?” asked Butch.

“It’s not going to take forever, Butch,” said Cassidy. “I bet you probably step in, and you’re on the other side already.”

“That doesn’t explain the void,” said Shupster darkly. He brightened up as fast as he replied. “So no food or water except May’s three lunches and her single bottle of kool-aid? All-righty! Let’s pop inside for a spell!” He blinked. “Did I just crack the lamest joke of all time?”

“Stop taking up page space and GO! Bye, Egbert,” yelled Cassidy, beckoning to Mr. Briney and pushing Butch and Shupster headlong into the mouth of the cave.

A strange eerie sensation settled over the three as they were engulfed in the possessing darkness. It felt like all the emotions of the bellowing sea were resonating through this smallish, rocky room. It was almost as if the sea was singing, whistling a sad tune. Shupster’s smooth, silky voice drifted into the song. “Now this is void.”

Pretty soon, however, their eyes became accustomed to the darkness and it was possible to see just how small the room was, and a stone stair in the corner leading down. “So this is a layer-ish cave, eh?” said Butch.

“I would call it floors,” said Cassidy as she gingerly stepped to the staircase, her shoes making a little echo. “Okay, I’m going down. C’mon, hurry up. This looks pretty scary.” Butch and Shupster dashed over. “Shupster,” said Cassidy firmly, “you’re going to have to get in a Pokeball. I don’t want anything bothering me with stupid comments.”

“Wha? Oh…fine,” Shupster obliged. “It’s for the sake of seeing Steven anyway.” Cassidy took a spare Pokeball from the bag, and Shupster disappeared in the last flash of light the three would see for the next twenty-six hours.

“Grab the bag, Butch,” shouted Cassidy. “We don’t want to lose May’s lunches.” Butch grabbed the bag, which was still slung over Cassidy’s shoulders. “NO! Take it OFF me!” yelled Cassidy, who seemed to be losing her balance on the steps, in panic.

“Gah, you didn’t make that clearrrRRRRRRRR!!!!” yelled Butch back as Cassidy completely lost her balance and plunged into the darkness below. And since Butch was holding on to the bag that was on her shoulders, he of course went down as well – a good explanation for the extended R.

And then, nothing except a low whistle from Shupster from his Pokeball. “This beats void...”


From two floors above me, I heard a sudden CLEARRRRR and two GAHHHs followed by one large THUMP. Probably just another of those brainless spelunkers without a Flash Pokemon. Annoying people, they are. Don’t they know I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, is trying to train in here? I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, crossed my legs in a faint similarity to an Indian mediator and commanded my Beldum to attack the Aron with a Psychic attack. Wild Arons are unbelievably weak. They do not even seem to have a brain in their heads. Of course, my trained Aron can defecate on those losers with his eyes closed. Well, at least this proves that one of these days would be out of the ordinary, seeing as none of the spelunkers I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, heard falling all over the place have yelled out “CLEARRRRRRR” before they hit the floor. Must be something interesting. Spectacular even. It might even be one of the retards they send to get letters to me. You never know, eh?


Butch and Cassidy’s eyes did not accustom to the darkness of the second room, even after thirty minutes.

“What is with this place?” muttered Cassidy. “Can’t see anything… even after thirty minutes.”

Shupster, who had been let out of the Pokeball (duh), scanned the place with his glowing eyes but for some reason, the glow wasn’t strong enough to penetrate enough dark for the three to see anything. “Hey, I know,” he exclaimed. “This is where Flash comes in handy. Get out Zigzagoon, and keep him in the Pokeball because that’s how these things work.” Cassidy turned around slowly for the bag, afraid to lose it in the darkness. After much fumbling she finally had a firm grip of the right Pokeball.

“Got it. Zigzagoon, use Flash,” she commanded. Tense silence ensued as nothing happened. “God. Use FLASH, you HM Slave! Cmon! This’s the point of your life! Why the hell do you think you were placed on the ******* earth?? FLASH!!!” Despite continued verbal abuse, Zigzagoon did not, for some reason, feel the motivation to flash. “Shupster,” Cassidy fumed. “It’s not Flash. YOU told me it WAS. And now we’re all gonna STARVE in here.”

“It’s not MY fault I’m not a Pokemon master. Not like you are. It’s not my fault someone slipped on the retarded staircase,” snapped Shupster.

“Chill out, everyone,” Butch said.

“That’s what you ALWAYS say, you damn wussy!” yelled Cassidy. “I realized I haven’t called you that in ages, but whatever. Ages doesn’t matter. We’re all gonna die in here. Starve, thirst, FREEZE… And just because Shupster wanted to see Steven.” Cassidy punched the floor. “Ow. And I can’t see the staircase anymore. We must have fallen out of sight of that.”

“Aw damn, I’m feeling cold… and hungry,” whined Shupster.

“I refuse to give up one of May’s sandwiches in the first hour of the ordeal,” declared Cassidy.

“But I’m starving,” complained Shupster.

“No you’re NOT,” yelled Cassidy. “Now come on, let’s get a move on. We might be able to get to Steven if we just… grope around.” And that was exactly what she began doing – grope around. “Grab on to my bag,” she said. “I know it caused tragedy last time but come on, we gotta get moving!”


It was another three hours of training and I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, was getting quite bored with it. Besides, I was thirsty. Sort of. Beldum spilled a can of Coke all over my bed of rock after the last battle, so I lost something to drink (which is quite limited here), my bed, and the coke would chemically weather the rock and erode it away and the champion may have nothing to sleep on after a few days. But I needed a drink other than Coke. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to walk around in the upper floor a bit to look for a bit of water. And anyway, I was hearing weird noises going on over there, a little too non-spelunker. So it isn’t at all silly to say that I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, was going on a little investigation…


“Four and a half hours down,” gasped Shupster. “I don’t know how far we’ve gone. But it’s freezing.” He took another sip of Kool-Aid. “Is it the Kool-Aid? It’s freezing. I’m freezing.”

“Another sandwich over here,” wailed Butch. “I just finished the peanut butter one.”

“S***,” muttered Cassidy. “Cmon, we have a budget here. Eat slow, and treasure the food. We’re tight on sandwiches.” She clunked her head against the wall they were leaning on, and it echoed through the darkness. “We’re probably going to die here,” she mumbled. “Never to sell the Devon Goods. Never to enjoy our lives.”

“Never to see Steven,” continued Shupster. “Never to win the hundred thousand bucks and the fame. Never to gloat at Jessie and James.” He brightened up suddenly. “Hey, that rhymes.”

Laughter ensued, a little too loudly, as if the three were desperately trying to escape the grasp of that feeling called futility and despair.

Shupster was growing delirious. “At least I won’t be hiding after I’m dead,” he slurred. “Won’t be worried if he finds me. I won’t be alive for him. No way…”

Butch wailed, “Shupster’s going crazy. We’re going down. The last of May’s sandwiches is in my hands. The last piece of hope…”

Shupster whirled around and the other two turned to find out why – a faint light was beaming through what seemed to be a corridor to another room, and it looked to be growing brighter and brighter. “Oh, jeez, guys… I’m seeing the light,” he murmured. “God help me… I see the light…”

Cassidy uttered a short gasp. “I see it too. Doom has dawned upon us… it is time for judgment. I wonder if I’ll go to heaven or hell… shut up, Butch, if I go to hell that’s where YOU’LL be going as well…”

Then suddenly the light burst in their face. “Dude, what the f*** is going on here?” a voice asked incredulously. The three glanced up simultaneously at at a young, silver-haired, sharp-faced man in a suit-jacket and unusually tight jeans. From the three’s vantage point he looked even taller and slimmer than he already was. He had one eyebrow raised and looked disdainfully down at them and if you were there you would’ve seen the thought-bubble popping up beside his head in the air as clear as day: “Jeez, more imbeciles?”

Butch held up the letter he had firmly gripped all along feebly and grinned in the same manner. “Mail for you, Mr. Stone.”

“So it IS the mailmen. Give me that letter, thanks.” Steven snatched the dripping letter away. “Jesus Christ. Never in I, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION’s life, have I ever been responsible to actually save the lives of those who were entitled to bring something to me. You should really have some feeling of responsibility for such an important job as bring something to the champion. But anyway, say thank you and I will to you. Thank you.” He ripped open the letter and slipped the pink card out. Immediately the hard, jeering expression on his face melted as he smiled warmly at the card. “I see… you have been sent here to bring me a letter from my beautiful girlfriend. In that case, I thank you even more. Your debt of distracting me in my training is paid.” Slipping the letter into his pocket, he tossed his shoulder-length hair, his sideway bangs flipping to the other side.

Shupster nudged Cassidy. “This guy? THIS guy got such a hot babe? Damn, I really couldn’t tell from there that she was actually blind…”

“Yeah, from what I’ve seen he’s pretty damn cocky…BUT,” she said, raising her voice from a whisper to what was just loud enough for him to hear, “he doesn’t fare too badly in looks.”

“Why, thank you, Ms. Redhead,” Steven said. “And to the Shuppet too. Thank you for complimenting the hot babe of Steven Stone, the CHAMPION, but no thank you for dissing the champion in the process.”

“You have good hearing,” muttered Shupster. “And yes, the girl’s hot like pie.”

“As for why you guys didn’t bring a Flash pokemon, I won’t ask. But, all that matters is that I saved your lives. And that you guys should be more responsible and careful next time. Get up.” He stood and waited as the three began packing the empty kool-aid bottles and sandwich wrappers back into May’s bag. Walking off with his flashlight still on, he walked back towards his training area while the three trudged after, muttering that the Zigzagoon they got wouldn’t flash.


“Well, thanks again, Steven,” said Shupster. “We thought we were so going to die in there.”

I smiled in appreciation of his thanks and continued reading Bonnie’s letter. “Now do you know what you have to do to get the Zigzagoon to flash?”

The three rolled their eyes. “Yes, Steven Stone, the CHAMPION. Go to the lower left corner of Dewford town and fight Brawly. That will activate the ability for a Pokemon carrying an HM to use Flash outside battle,” they said together. “Please don’t tell us again,” begged Cassidy.

“Okay, chill. I’m not as conceited as you think. Hey, what do you think of my return letter? I think it’s the best.”

“Uh…” said Shupster, who was reading the letter. “I think considering the effort Bonnie herself put into her letter… It’s…” A questionable smile came up on his face. “Absolutely perfect. Okay, Mr. Champion: can you please get us out of here now?”
[clιcκ Ьαииεя тσ εмЬαяκ σи α тяαvεsтч σf α נσυяиεч][cяεdιт fσя sρяιтεs тσ мч Ьεlσvεd ραιя ρσκεЬσч sαяαЬ]

Last edited by Shiny Loser; 05-21-2008 at 01:55 PM.
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