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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #16  
Old 08-02-2007, 09:16 PM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 2 Up:.

Thanks, Darth, I hope you do keep reading. :)

Chapter 3 is written, you guys. I just need to do some proofreading and revising.
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  #17  
Old 08-03-2007, 12:24 AM
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Default Chapter 3

Originally, Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 were going to be one chapter but then I realized it was going to be too rushed and too long so I seperated them into two chapters. So that's the reason why Chapter 3 is a bit on the short side. ^^;

_____

Chapter 3

Alice looked up at her friend in worry, the girl’s face showing almost no emotion as she gazed out the window. With her back propped against the wall of the bed and pillow in a tight hug close to her chest, there was such a great distance between her and Sen that it began to unnerve her.

“Pikachu...?”

Sen looked away from the setting sun to her companion beside her. The Pikachu never left her side for the past hour; she just lay beside her as though protecting her from any further harm. Sen let a sad smile play on her face as she petted Alice in between her ears. The mouse let out a small coo of pleasure, closing her raven eyes to enjoy it more.

“I’m okay, Alice,” Sen told her, though her defeated tone betrayed her words. It was dry and rough from the crying she had done in the beginning, dried tears were evident on her cheeks.

“I just need to...”

Truthfully, she didn’t know what she needed to do. Sen knew she couldn’t sit in her room forever, even if that is what she wanted. She had to talk to her mom sooner or later but at the moment, she couldn’t bring herself to leave the comfort of her bed.

After the party was dismissed (much to the little cousins' argues), Gwen had tried to come in, to comfort her in her time of sadness.

"Sen, please let me in," she had said outside the door, tone one the edge of pleading. "I know how you feel...."

"No you don't! You don't know how I feel so just leave me alone!"

The outburst had been so harsh and unexpected that a long period of silence followed. During, Sen had buried her head in shame, wondering why on Earth she had yelled; to her best friend of all people.

"I...understand," Gwen was heard saying later. The apparent hurt made Sen's heartache but an apology wouldn't form on her lips, something within her holding her back. "I'm going to stay at the Pokemon Center if you want to talk. I'm your best friend, Sen, I care about you and I don't like seeing you hurt like this."

Footsteps were heard going down the stairs and the girl could imagine them going through the living room. When the door was heard closing, Sen broke into a sob at what she just did.

She must hate me right now, she was just trying to help. If I can't let her help, what kind of friend am I?

A soft knock sounded on her door, making Sen let out a tired sigh. All she wanted was to be alone, right now, couldn’t her mom understand that?

I can’t keep ignoring her forever, though. she thought when the knocking ceased.

The woman was probably standing uneasily behind the closed door, fiddling with a tendril of hair. A part of the young girl wanted to keep her out of the room but the more sensible part of her knew she could keep her out forever.

Turning her gaze once again to the window, Sen said, “Come in...”

Mrs. Takashi opened the door and stepped inside the room, her eyes spotting the form of her daughter on the bed. The lack of light made her look sullen and depressed. The once neat hair was a bird's next on her head from the time she spent on her bed curled up in a tight ball, letting cries of despair escape her. Stray tears were hanging off her eyelashes, ready to trail down her sunken eyes at any shake of her head.

“Sen...”

Sen didn’t give an indication that she heard, her body still motionless. The mother made her way to the bed and sat down on the edge. The blue dress Sen had worn was now a heap of cloth on the floor.

“Sen, I know you’re mad at me,” she started. “And I don’t blame you.”

“You knew I wanted to be a trainer, Mom,” Sen told her, averting the concerned eyes.

The signs were obvious, weren't they? I mean, I thought she knew...all this time.

Whenever trainers wandered into Floroma Town, Sen would leaver her house in hopes of seeing a battle. When a pokemon was hit, her mind would race to think of a couunter attack the trainer could have commanded the pokemon to do, maybe to lessen the heavy blow or to avoid it all together. When the side she was silently rooting for had the upper hand, she would think of teh reason they were winning. Was it because they were more skilled, more thoughtful, or was it just luck? Her jaw would drop in amazement when the side who had a type disadvantage would pull off an impressive win, most of the time at the last possible second. Soon, the battle would end and she would trudge back into her house, not even aware of the scoldings she always got for "being too close to something so dangerous".

Faintly, she could see the forms of children playing outside with a ball. How she wished she could be their age again, to not have to worry about what was going to happen in the future.

“Why do you want me to be a nurse instead?”

This time, it was the mother’s turn to sigh.

“I know you wanted to be trainer, it’s just that.... being a trainer is rough and you can get hurt.”

Sen whirled around to face her mother, now beginning to understand her words.

“You don’t think I can make it as a trainer, do you?”

Mrs. Takashi averted Sen’s eyes but nodded.

“There’s a lot that can happen out there, Sen. Nobody will be there to protect you. Alice is only a pet, she’s not a battler.”

Sen laid a hand on Alice who looked offended at the comment.

“She’ll get stronger and I’ll catch other pokemon, too.”

“There are other trainers much stronger than you and they may take advantage of you.”

Sen now got to her knees, annoyed at what her mom was implying.

“I’m not going to be weak, Mom! We’ll train and train, become stronger...”

“I don’t want my only daughter to get hurt,” Mrs. Takashi said, her tone becoming strained. “That’s why I want you to go to the Joy Academy instead.”

Sen’s anger was mounting as her mom continued to ignore what she was trying to show.

“But I don’t want to become a nurse! I want to be a pokemon trainer!”

The short haired woman stood up from the bed and faced the nettled girl with a stern look.

“Tomorrow we’re going to talk about when you leave for the Academy. You’ll thank me for this, maybe not today but you will.”

Sen watched her mom walk down the room, her grip tightening on the pillow she still held. When her mother left the room, she let out a frustrated scream and hurled the pillow at the closed door. The pillow made an audible ‘thump!’ before falling to the bedroom floor, Sen made no move to retrieve it.

“I hate this! She treats me like a little kid!”

Alice gripped her owner’s wrist in an attempt to calm her down, scared that Sen would hurt herself if more stuff was thrown. Sen let out a depressed sigh and sat back down on her bed, running fingers through her ponytail.

“She may not let us go on a pokemon journey,” she began, a smile unlike her own spreading on her features. “But that’s not gonna stop us.”

_____

The house was silent hours later. All rooms were bathed in darkness except for the occasion shimmer of a streetlight outside that managed to creep into the house. In Sen’s room, however, it was anything but peaceful. On the soft carpeted floor, the girl was on her knees packing everything she deemed necessary in a small backpack including clothes and all the money she had (which was approximately 200 Pokedollars). Sen had patiently awaited the time that her mother would go to bed and still after to make sure she was asleep. The creaking of the door made her heart skip a beat, making her drop the coins she held in her grip.

“Pika,” came the soft, and slightly muffled, voice of Alice from the doorway.

Sen let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Running away in the middle of the night wasn’t doing her nerves any good. If anything else, it had put her on the edge.

“You got the food?” she whispered to her pokemon.

Something sliding on the floor was heard and when Alice stepped closer. Sen made out the bag of sweet bread being dragged by the knot with a container of Poke Chow food on top. It wasn’t exactly fine dining but it would do until they got to the next town, Eterna City.

“Good job.”

Taking the items, she carefully arranged them inside the pack then closed the clasp with a satisfied smile. When she let go, she found her fingers shaking. All of this was happening too fast for her mind to handle but she knew that her mom would get her way the next day. By going on her own journey, she and Alice could become stronger. They would show her mother that they could make it out there in the world, despite what she said. Sen picked up the backpack (which she admitted was heavier than she intended) and heaved it onto her shoulders.

“Come on, lets get out of here.”

Closing the door behind her, they walked down the stairs as quietly as they could. Sen could swear she heard her mom’s soft snores from the closed door they passed but then found it was the sound of her own beating heart. The hallway was lined with a row of framed pictures. Family portraits, birthday parties, and special occasions were hung on that wall and as Sen descended the stairs, she felt she was leaving those parts of her life forever. They hit the living room where memories of the party swarmed her already nervous mind. She gave those unwanted thoughts a mental push and walked to the door. A cool rush of air hit their faces when she opened it, ridding them of any somnolence that still remained. Both of them stood in front of the open door in hesitancy, the streetlights outside illuminating their faces.

What’s holding us back? Fear? Excitement?

Alice looked up at her, awaiting her friend’s move. With one last glance at the house, Sen took a deep breath and nodded.

“Lets go.”
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Last edited by Phantom Kat; 08-09-2007 at 09:36 PM.
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  #18  
Old 08-03-2007, 01:04 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

That was great. You can see Sens anger and emotions mount in this chapter and her characters personality is becoming clearer.
Keep up the good work Lookin forward to the next chapter
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  #19  
Old 08-03-2007, 04:15 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

Yay, a new chapter. You're lucky I'm alive.. :)

I'll just point out the errors as I read, because I forget a lot:

Quote:
With back propped against the wall of the bed and pillow in a tight hug close to her chest, there was such a great distance between her and Sen that it began to unnerve her.
Who's back? It makes it sound like there's a person named Back or something. Pay attention to what you type!

Quote:
The Pikachu never left her side for the past hour, she just lay beside her as though protecting her from any further harm.
Run-on sentence. Could have been separated to two, or you could have used a semi-colon instead of the comma.

I think you could have added more detail when Sen and her mom were talking. Did Sen slam anything down out of anger, or something? I think you know what I mean.

One last thing:

You started new paragraphs when the same person was talking. o_O It made it look like Sen started talking, but she really wasn't. A few other errors, but it's all good.

Overall, good chapter. I like the conversation between them. Overprotective mother, aye? Also, it's starting to get even more interesting since they've run away now. =)
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  #20  
Old 08-03-2007, 04:24 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

Thanks moonlight, this chapter was kinda of hard for me to write so I'm happy I made a somewhat goos chapter. ^^;

Thanks diamond for pointing those things out. And yeah, I have a nasty habit of doing that when someone speaks. Of course, this is the reason I love constructive critism. I'll go fix those things right now. :)
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  #21  
Old 08-05-2007, 04:47 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

Pfft. Break that habit right now, miss, or I'll sic my evil birds on you. They like to sing, and they're not very good at it.

Anyway, you can just call me dp876 or Kris because I don't really like being called by my user name. XD Hope the next chapter comes soon.
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  #22  
Old 08-05-2007, 05:32 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondpearl876 View Post
Pfft. Break that habit right now, miss, or I'll sic my evil birds on you. They like to sing, and they're not very good at it.

Anyway, you can just call me dp876 or Kris because I don't really like being called by my user name. XD Hope the next chapter comes soon.
Meh, I have the same habit ;). Next to some other much more annoying writing habits you could have it's not that bad *lol*
I think you could add more detail into the scene where she decides to run away, maybe more emotional conflict (in the scene where she is talking to her parents to)...
I know I would not run away the same night, but then I am more thoughtful than she seems to be :\
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  #23  
Old 08-05-2007, 05:43 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

I'll add more detail to Chapter 4 when I write it, OF. Yeah, right now, she's not thinking as she should and besides, she's only ten and I don't expect her to think out situations as thoroughly as us.

I'll start writing Chapter 4 tomorrow. :)

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Old 08-07-2007, 02:00 AM
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Thumbs up HEy

i luv ur stories they r awsome:biggrin:
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Old 08-07-2007, 02:15 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 3 Up:.

Thanks, AtomicPichu. I hope you keep reading. :)
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:43 AM
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Default Chapter 4

Okay, this chapter is a whopping 7 pages on a 12 font, longest chapter ever for me O_o. I'm quite proud of this one and it finally gets interesting. ;)

Also, I put off reading Deathly Hollows for you guys so you better enjoy it. :P

_____

Chapter 4

The night sky that stretched above them was dappled with hundreds of stars that twinkled like opal fireflies. The silver moon that also hung in the sky had both a look of intimidation and beauty, adding to the jaw dropping sight. Sen and Alice couldn’t basked in nature’s beauty at the moment, not while they were making their way out of the outskirts of Floroma Town. Numerous times, the young girl had the urge to abandon the silly idea of running away and accept the fact that she would be sent to the Joy Academy instead. However, the thought of discarding her dream of becoming a trainer was enough to continue the trail that led out of the humble town. The houses had long disappeared, leaving them in unfamiliar territory. The ground beneath them seemed untamed with its unevenness and numerous rocks scattered about. Bushes as high as Sen’s knees lined the trail with scraggly trees behind them. Under the light of the moon and the flashlight she held in her grip, everything around them looked forlorn and disfigured..

The initial shock of what they just did finally hit Sen. They had run away, away from the only life they knew. They had to fend for themselves now, against both pokemon and people. In a way, this was a test if she could make it as a trainer. If she decided to back out and return home, then her mother was right in the fact that her daughter could not make it. Now that she thought about it, Sen could remember numerous times that her mom doubted her capability at handling a situation. The one that stuck at out most was when she was seven and wanted a pet pokemon really badly. Mrs Takashi would repeat again and again that she would be unable to take care of her very own pokemon but after weeks of begging and promises, she gave in and gave her an orphaned Pichu that the Pokemon Center was taking care of.

I think I did a pretty good job on that. she told herself with a look at Alice in front. The Pikachu had taken the position as leader in case any wild pokemon decided to jump in. Her long ears were alert while her eyes scanned the trail they walked. And if I managed to take care of her for the past three years, who says I can’t be responsible enough to be a trainer?

Something ahead was giving off a faint white light, making the edges of trees have a light aurora around them. Alice halted and looked up at Sen who also stopped, flashlight now turned off.

“What is that?”

It wasn’t Eterna City, that’s for sure and as far as she knew, no people lived this far out of the outskirts of Floroma.

“Maybe it’s one of those traveling Poke Marts I’ve heard so much about,” she mused aloud. “Come on, Alice, let’s check it out.”

The farther they walked, the brighter the light source became. Alice was now beside Sen, the girl confident that no wild pokemon would attack around a place that was currently inhabited by humans. Various male voices started to become audible along with the clanking and thumps of what could only be machinery. This dispatched the theory of a Poke Mart. Both of them ducked in the tall bushes to avoid any detection and parted them to see the commotion. A modest warehouse stood in the middle of an open field, raised about six feet above the ground to allow cargo to be passed to the truck that was stationed in the back. Crates stacked upon each other were scattered around the area with uniformed workers organizing them and loading them into the truck. The label on both the truck and the crates read in bright blue, “Floroma Flowers: Beauty For Any Occasion!”.

So this is where the flowers are shipped from.

For years, Floroma had been the leading the town in all of Sinnoh in providing flowers for weddings, funerals, etc. The flowers were always in demand for their beauty and long lasting life span, making it a very profitable career in the town.

Sen was about to back up and take an alternate route when a piece of the conversation made her stop.

“...to Eterna by tomorrow or the boss will have out heads!”

“Don’t worry, the truck will make it in time.”

“So they’re going to Eterna...” Sen whispered under her breath, her mind beginning to shift its gears in thought. If they managed to stow away in the truck without being noticed, they would get to Eterna a lot faster than on foot. That would mean she would have less of a chance of her mom catching up to her if she followed them. Although, if they were caught, that would put an abrupt end to their journey.

“How about it?” she asked Alice. “Should we try and hitch a ride?”

Alice looked first at the brown eyed girl then back at the busy scene in hesitancy before nodding. Sen looked back at the warehouse and gathered her nerves for what they were about to do. Silently, she motioned to Alice to follow her to the left, taking care that the bushes’ thorns wouldn’t scrape them. They walked/crawled along the edge of the trees, making sure they were as quiet as possible until the truck was straight ahead. Much to their luck, there were almost no workers except for the occasional man checking off certain crates before they were loaded into the truck. The man would then wander off into the warehouse where he would stay until more crates arrived near the opening of the truck.

Heart in her throat, Sen gave a silent nod to Alice to wait until the time was right. She saw the man check off multiple crates off the clipboard he carried while the other one went back for more crates which were luckily a ways off. When the tall man went back inside, Sen braced herself by getting off her knees. Alice also readied herself, getting on all fours and watching the truck intently.

Moments later, Sen whispered a sharp, “Go!” before sprinting as fast but lightly as she could to the truck, the small electric mouse bounding numerous steps ahead. Small clouds of rust colored dust was kicked up by their feet with pebbles being disturbed from their place. Though it was only a ten second run from the bushes to the large vehicle, it felt as though they were running across a battlefield overrun with the enemy where every could mean life or death. When they finally reached the truck, they took no time in slinking to the door opening where nothing but the warehouse stood near and regain their bearings. The noisy machinery in the background made Sen realize something. The noises more than likely masked the sounds they produced in their short run. She now turned to the open truck where the tops of boxes and crates were visible and put both her hands on the edge with her right foot ready to push off a jutted piece of metal at the bottom. Alice jumped nimbly into the truck and helped (somewhat considering Sen was more than twice her heigh and four times her weight) her owner up once she was almost in.

“Thanks,” she smiled up but paled when footsteps were heard coming closer.

Scrambling to her feet, they quickly took cover behind numerous columns of crates and peeked between the boxes. The same thin man from before could be seen from the back talking to one of the workers who was in charge of loading the merchandise. The conversation went on for a few, short moments before the man with the clipboard gave a final, “Then let’s get on truckin’!”

The door of the truck slowly lowered, cutting off the light that the warehouse gave off. The inside of the truck was shrouded in darkness with a final ‘clank!’ of the closed door, giving the air an unnerving atmosphere. In unison, Sen and Alice let out a sigh of relief and sat on the floor with their back against the metal wall of the truck. To them, it felt as though they had jumped over a major hurdle in their path and they could finally take a break, even if it was in a cramped truck filled with crates that could toppled onto them at any moment. They felt the sudden lurch of the truck moving beneath them, making some of the boxes tremble but thankfully not falling. Sen’s eyelids began to droop, nervousness and the fact that she only got about two hours of sleep finally caught up to her.

“We won’t be in Eterna until morning,” Sen said, resting her head against the wall and getting into a more comfortable position. “We might as well catch some shut eye.”

Alice walked towards her, eyes also half closed, and nestled in her lap for a nap. Petting her, Sen smiled and closed her eyes, feeling her mind drift off and her muscles relaxing.

_____

A loud clanking of something metal entered her subconscious but she dismissed it and tried to go back to sleep. Footsteps echoed in the truck but once again, she ignored them. Alice did the same, only making herself a tighter ball of fur in Sen’s skirted lap. However, both of them jumped up from their peaceful sleep when the box beside them was kicked roughly in order to awake them.

“What are you doing here?!” bellowed a gruff voice. “You no good freeloaders!”

Sen and Alice looked up and caught the angry face of a stout man whose dark eyes bore into their own. His worker’s uniform was covered in a fine layer of sweat.

“I have the right to turn you into the cops!”

The man made a grab for Sen but Alice, quickly noticing this, jumped in front of her in a defensive position. Her red cheeks began to spark with electric energy until it was released as a Thundershock, the current traveling to the man’s body. The attack made the man scream in pain, although not harming him severely, and step back. He clumsily tripped over a crate and fell painfully on his back. Sen would have continued to stare in fright and surprise if Alice didn’t give her a loud, “Pikachu!”to get her moving. Voices began to sound outside the truck but they still made their way out, leaping over boxes and nearly falling on several occasions. When they jumped off, they saw that it was still night without even a hint of the rising sun.

We haven’t even traveled far, she thought, heart sinking to the pit of her stomach. We’ve been discovered for nothing.

“What is that kid doing here?”

Sen whirled around and saw the driver of the truck jumping down to the ground, his expression one of extreme annoyance. The man who was thundershocked came stumbling to the opening of the truck with his face in a painful frown.

“That damn kid got into the truck, probably back at the warehouse!”

The driver now seemed infuriated and came closer, his silver boots crunching the tall grass. Sen’s eyes widen in horror and she willed her legs to turn and run down the small hill, Alice also sprinting like mad beside her.

“Get back here!”

A period of silence followed this before they muttered several curses and gave chase.

This is bad! Really bad!

Rather abruptly, the hill ended, making her stumble to the jade grass to avoid falling into the river that flowed in front of them. The water washed over rocks that protruded from the bottom and clashed with the edge of the hill, sending some dirt into the flow. Sen looked over to the other side (about ten feet away) and then to the approaching men who grew closer with every second she paused to think things over.

“Alice,” she instructed, jumping into the river. An uncomfortable shiver went down her spine at the sheer coldness of the water which only reached up to her chest. “Get on my shoulders, I’ll cross.”

Alice jumped onto Sen’s shoulders, using the backpack to support her lower body, and held on as the human treaded through the water as fast as she could. The water lapped at her arms and sides, giving her goose bumps, but she ignored it and made her way around the jagged rocks. Wild splashes were heard behind her and she gave a gasp when one of the men, the driver, began to make his way to her. Sen’s heart started to race, making her so frightened that she didn’t notice one of her backpack’s straps get caught in one of the rock’s sharp edges. The strong pull that she emitted in an attempt to release it caused to rip, making the backpack tumble down to be swept away by the cold currents of the river.

“My backpack!”

Sen made a grab for it but fell short of her target and swallowed multiple gulps of water instead. Coughing fiercely, she walked to the other side and crawled to the warm ground, Alice jumping off and helping the girl to her feet.

“Forget it, Kiff!” the other man that stood on the other side yelled to his swimming companion. “You’ll catch pneumonia before you catch that kid!”

Sen and Alice saw the man in the water shrug and wade his way back to the land. She stood up, albeit a bit shaky, and looked around the river. There was no sign of her backpack, only the tatter cloth of the strap still pinned to the rock.

Idiot! she cursed herself, eyes shut tight to stop the flow of tears. Why did I panic?!

Alice grip the girl’s leg to stop her from doing anything rash like jumping into the river to search for her backpack. Sen let her head fall in defeat. There was no where to go except onwards, even if all their valuable stuff had gone downstream.

“Lets get moving,” she said in a dejected voice, eyes still on her feet as she turned away from the river.

Footsteps in a sluggish pace, she walked, barely conscious of anything around her. Her clothes were soaked and clung to her shaking body. The chestnut hair on her head, rubber band lost in the frantic run, now hung like a wet veil with stringy strands falling onto her face.

Here we are, she thought gloomily. We’re somewhere on Route 205 with no food, money, or sleeping bag and it’s all my fault.

Sen’s eyes started stinging as the beginning of tears threatened to appear. Silently, she thanked the fact that her face was already dripping with water so Alice could not tell if the tears were water or not. The last thing she wanted was Alice thinking she was weak.

But I am weak! I failed as a trainer on the fact that I just lost all our possessions, I failed as a daughter for not convincing Mom on letting me be a trainer, I would most likely fail at being a nurse anyway.

A cool breeze swept the field, making both of them shiver.

Maybe I wasn’t even meant to be a human, maybe I was meant to be a pokemon. A Pikachu, like Alice.

The childish thought brought a small smile to her face but it turned into a painful yelp when her foot caught a projecting rock in the ground, causing her to fall flat on her face.

“Pikachu!”

With her elbow, she pulled herself out of the wet sediment, spitting out bits and piece of grass.

I can't even walk right.

A sudden light shone in front of her, somewhere lost in the overgrown grass. Curiously, she got on her knees and searched for the unknown light. Fingers grasped something small and warm and when she brought it closer to inspect, she raised a brow. In her hand was a cloth, cerulean colored, tag about three inches long and only one inch wide. A white aurora pulsated from it along with warmth that was all too welcomed.

“What a strange tag...”

Alice came close to inspect it herself but was somewhat scared of the object and recoiled. Something didn’t feel right about it. Sen grinned, unaware of Alice’s concern, and held the tag in a tight grip, letting its warmth spread throughout her body. Such a simple thing filled her with sudden happiness like a child with a new toy. Mind wandered back to her last thought; the playful thought of being a pokemon.

As a pokemon, I wouldn’t have to worry about being sent to some academy. I wouldn’t have someone like Scarlett breathing down my neck, waiting to make a mistake so she could rub it in my face.

Unbeknownst to both her and the Pikachu, the tag was slowly getting brighter, the edge of her fingers illuminated by the inside glow.

Sometimes, I just wish I was a pokemon, they have it so easy...

The tag was now so hot that it snapped her out of her thoughts. This time, Alice did notice and cried out to drop it. Sen widened her eyes when she realized she couldn’t release it, her hand was firmly clenched by some unknown force. Her head started to swim with the pain she felt throughout her body as though her clothes were melting into her skin. When she had the misfortune to looked at her arm, she discovered that’s exactly what was happening. The cloth seemed to melt like hot metal onto her skin where bright, yellow fur grew in its place. It was happening everywhere; on her legs, chest, and even her hair was beginning to shrivel up like weeds to make room for the fur. Fur, on her body. How was it possible? The sight made her close her eyes and take deep breaths so she would not throw up but no air went into her lungs, making her gasp for oxygen instead.

“Pika! Pikachu!” came the scared cries of Alice when Sen dropped onto her hands, trying to suck in air to calm her beating heart.

Everything around her blurred into unrecognizable blobs of color and shapes while her body seemed to go through some kind of metamorphosis. The feeling of falling arose yet she was still firmly on the ground. Sen felt the pull Alice gave to get her up but she just didn’t have the energy to scream let alone move. Her arms buckled beneath her weight and she landed, once again, face first into the wet grass. This time, she made no move to stand. The human was just too scared about what was happening to her body and how she could not reverse it. Body trembles took over her like a seizure, making Alice even more worried and terrified for her friend’s well being. All of it was happening too fast for the pokemon to follow, making her own charcoal eyes break out in tears.

“Sen, get up! Get up!”

I’m going crazy, I’m hearing voices now. she chuckled mentally, more out of fear than actual humor.

With that final though, Sen let exhaustion and terror grip and carry her into the darkness.
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Last edited by Phantom Kat; 08-20-2007 at 09:25 PM.
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  #27  
Old 08-08-2007, 08:14 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 4 Up:.

Good jub, keep up the great work

(Atomic Pichu post english
EX.i luv ur stories they r awsome
should be
EX.I love your stories they're awesome)

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Last edited by drazzon; 08-08-2007 at 08:18 AM.
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  #28  
Old 08-09-2007, 12:40 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 4 Up:.

Thanks drazzon, looks like I have a new reader. ;)

^^; Update too fast? LOL

I'm looking forward towards your review, Psychic because they always help me in some way or another.
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Old 08-09-2007, 02:37 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 4 Up:.

I do love this very much. (: I think your descriptions are brillaint. Can't wait for the next chapter, keep up the great work!
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Old 08-09-2007, 02:42 AM
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Default Re: Destiny's Tag .:Chapter 4 Up:.

Thanks, WorkThoseStripes. :)

Description is one of the things I'm trying to improve in my writing and I'm happy to know that it is working.
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