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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.

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Old 09-29-2007, 07:19 PM
Legendary Wolf Offline
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Join Date: Oct 2006
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Default ~Snowpoint Snow~

This is ready for grading.

~Snowpoint Snow~

White weightless snow filled the sky. Altaria flocks filled the air as they headed south towards warmer territory for the winter. Other icy Pokemon made their way towards their homes which were usually holes dug deep underneath the white blanket. Furret climbed green and white trees to seek warmth. And humans as we know them were hidden in their houses waiting for the snow to end. Amongst all of these lonesome people, one was in his room playing with his Pokemon.

A small Henry Nightly was in his room with a tiny light to the corner and his pet Growlithe to his side. Henry didn’t think that things could get much better for him. He loved everything he had his home, his parents, and his Pokemon. Right now he didn’t worry about the weather.

Henry was small about eight at the time. He had brown short hair, golden eyes and a small weak body. Henry was born in Snowpoint and he wanted to live there his entire life. He had been raised with both his mom and his dad. Both of which loved him very much and worked at the Snowpoint temple, as guardians. Henry was very pleased with his parents and wanted to grow up with the same job. He thought it was really cool to guard such an amazing place.

Henry had one small Pokemon whom he loved very much. It was his pet Growlithe who was very friendly with everyone and enjoyed playing around with Henry. Henry had received Growlithe at an adoption center. The lady who had given him the Growlithe said he was found in the middle of Mt. Coronet, the largest mountain range in Sinnoh.

Henry stood up on a brown wooden floor; it was sanded nicely so you couldn’t get hurt from it. He opened his brown door and went down the stairs towards the kitchen. When he walked in he immediately saw his parents reading two separate damp newspapers. He walked up to them slowly.

“Hi, can I watch TV?” Henry asked sweetly. His mom nodded back slightly then turned back to the newspaper. Henry turned and went down the long narrow hall, most people could fit through it, but if you to big you wouldn’t get through. Everyone in Henry’s family was able to make it through, so there was no problem.

The hall ended into a wide room with various couches. Some were green and some yellow, Henry went to a green one. Henry found the remote and clicked the on button. The first thing that came on was the news, and by the looks of it, there was a bunch. Henry watched and was amazed by all the close stories about fires, and how the rangers saved them all.

Then the news came on. At first they were talking about Sunny weather in Sunnyshore City, which didn’t surprise him, there was always sunny weather there. Then it turned to Snowpoint which got him interested. The man, who had a big moustache and green eyes was showing a large cold blizzard that was coming in, it would demolish a lot of things, he warned people to leave or else you might get hurt. Henry quickly reacted and called his mother and father into the room.

About twenty seconds later both Henry’s mom and dad were in the room staring at the screen. At first they were just standing and smiling, but that didn’t last long. Their mouths dropped open and they gaped widely. After they finished watching and the news went to a new segment they looked at Henry and said.

“We’re taking a short vacation somewhere very warm, okay sweetie?” They asked anxious to leave.

“You can watch a little more, but then we have to leave, okay?” His mom asked with a sly smile. Henry frowned and watched as his parents went up stairs to the computer room. He turned it to a channel that explained how Luvdisc migrated underwater, it was interesting at first then it turned boring. Henry switched it to the show about speedy animals. So far on the experiments Arcanine was winning.

After a few minutes his parents came down from the computer.

“We’re going to Eterna City while the Blizzard comes through,” His mom announced. He didn’t like it so much. Leaving his home city even for a little while was bad to him. Some people liked to leave home, Henry was not amongst them.

Henry groaned as he went upstairs to his room, he found it annoying that he had to pack whenever he left. He took out a medium sized red backpack with an Arcanine on it. Growlithe appealed to the backpack since it had its next form on it. Henry only wanted to evolve him when Growlithe himself wanted to evolve, no sooner.

Henry packed three pairs of every outfit. Henry also packed a leash and sweater for Growlithe who sometimes got cold or ran off sometimes. After a few times Henry couldn’t take it so he got it for him. Growlithe puffed when he saw the leash, he was the only one that didn’t like it.

Henry walked over to his bed and fell over as if he were paralyzed. He tucked himself neatly underneath his blanket. Growlithe ran up and jumped on the white bed, which seemed like a blanket of snow. For a few seconds Henry tossed and turned while thinking about going to Eterna to avoid a Blizzard, was he going to make friends? Was he going to catch any new Pokemon? Henry had no idea, and within seconds he was asleep.

The next morning Henry woke up with a bright sun outside, but when Henry looked outside the window, a dark grey cloud was coming near from the West, the good part was, and they were diving east then flying south.

Henry rushed downstairs to the kitchen to eat something. As soon as he got down he saw a plate with waffles on them he rushed over to them. Growlithe was right behind him. Growlithe jumped at the plate which came crashing down to the floor, it was plastic so it didn’t break.

The waffles to were now on the floor being chomped down by the Orange dog Pokemon. Henry stood there with a gaping mouth, that’s all he was going to have for breakfast. He hurriedly searched for some cereal. Henry took out a box of Slaking hunger cereal and poured in little figures that looked like Slakoth’s Vigogroth’s and Slaking’s shape.

Henry took out a glass of Moomoo milk and poured it into the bowl. He took out a spoon and ate ferociously. His parents walked into the room with their bags in hand and said.

“I can’t believe that we made it to this last minute flight, with all the people leaving too and all,” her mom commented as they entered. Henry’s dad nodded slightly then turned to Henry and said,

“Are you ready?” He asked politely.

“If you mean ready to abandon my home no, if you mean leave for a couple days yes, I don’t want to leave but I guess if I have to I will,” Henry said in an annoyed tone.

“That a boy, always wanting adventure,” his dad replied sarcastically. Henry giggled then hugged him slightly. His dad smiled and went outside to get the car. His mom came over and hugged him tightly.

“I can’t wait till we see Eterna, can you?” His mom asked killing time.

“Yes, I can, but then again I don’t want to die,” Henry said sticking out his tongue.

“I realize you don’t want to leave but we have to, so for the heck of it can you please even pretend like you like it?” His mom asked.

“Fine, but remember I don’t like it,” he answered with a small giggle. His mom nodded and then the car came up and the dragged out the door into the car. The horn honked jokingly. No one but the driver laughed.

Once the entire luggage was in the car they drove off in the sunny morning. During the car ride which ended up being an hour, Henry played games with his parents in the car, mostly like spot the Pokemon. The hour passed slowly but they got there in time for the flight.

Everyone carried a backpack, and only a backpack, there was no need for anything else, because it was only going to be a short visit. After the car was in the garage they climbed upstairs and into the main terminal, tickets in hand. As they passed the toy store Henry saw a Ho-Oh and Lugia battlefield, it was supposedly the hottest toy as of now.

Around the airport there was no snow at all, these were the greenest plains of Snowpoint, perfect for building an airplane, the Blizzard was going to reach this point so they didn’t stay here.

The next stop was the Restaurant; the only one around here seemed to be Torchic’s Cluck Bucket, where Torchic’s chicken was served. All of the chicken was spicy seeing as Torchic were fire Pokemon. Nobody had talked since exiting the car, Henry was noting that his parents didn’t want to leave as well. Henry was about to take another bite when the intercom screeched on.

“We have been getting reports of a strange Pokemon going through the area poisoning, paralyzing, and putting those who are lucky to sleep. The Pokemon has yet to be identified, but we know it is a grass type, obviously we have also getting reports from those who were sleeping that they feel much weaker, we believe that the Pokemon is using attacks such as Mega Drain on the targets, we have no idea why it is on its rampage and we ask that you keep a sharp eye out for the target, remember there’s a bunch of grass types out there so make sure you have the right one if you in after it, come prepared if you find it, but we advise you not to search for it, that will only lead to trouble. That is all,” and with that the intercom beeped off and everyone stared off to see if there was any loose Pokemon around except for the Growlithe begging for food.

“Crazy Pokemon will always get hurt,” Henry’s dad muttered under his breath. His mom silently nodded in agreement, Henry didn’t pay attention to any of it, he was focused on a little mushroom by a luggage cart. It moved once, shaking its giant bulb, his first reaction was a Bulbasaur sitting near twenty yards away but when it leaped out at a woman dressed in red, he saw it. It was a giant Mushroom Pokemon; it had two small pegs for legs and a unibrow above its small gleaming eyes.

It was immediately recognized as a Shroomish, they were small Pokemon but very ferocious, they attacked their prey without warning. This one though, was on a rampage.

The women screamed as soon as it felt the hard mushroom hit her arm. She fell to the floor in pain, Shroomish seized the chance, as everyone else watched, stupefied. Yellow spores left the bulb and went through to the woman’s mouth and nose, they went in like a visible scent, but none came out. The woman tried one more scream but failed as her mouth opened, no sound came out. The Stun Spore was taking its toll.

A man, who was probably her husband reached in to grab her, but the Mushroom was ready and once again it let out spores, this time White. The man didn’t notice them until they were up his nose and mouth; he yawned twice then fell asleep. No one else tried to help.

With that the Mushroom ran down the carpet leaving no trails. Henry couldn’t resist he ran down after it, his mother tried to grab at him but she missed, Henry was out the door but he couldn’t see where the mushroom was moving, he saw a small glimpse and a yell and he moved toward it.

Screams let out as the little Pokemon tore down the hall people watching innocently. No one was chasing it except Henry, he was the only one who cared, and who didn’t care if he got hurt. He saw the mushroom was in pain.

The carpet was a dark, with square patterns on them, various small Pokemon were stitched into them.

Minutes later Shroomish was upon another person putting it into sleep, again no one rushed to save the person, again, it got away. But it helped Henry, as Shroomish got away and turned into a door, Henry caught up to it. He heard yells from behind him, his parents were coming.

Shroomish went into the bathroom, seconds later men came running out. Henry took a step in slowly, not risking anything. Everyone’s eyes were on him. But Henry only got a small glimpse of the Shroomish, when white and gray spores came over him, Henry breathed heavily struggling to keep his eyelids open, the spores were beating him though. They were winning the war. Then Henry floated adrift as he fell asleep.


Henry blinked his eyes twice, everything was blurry he couldn’t see anything straight. His eyes focused though, he saw a white wall, curved and his mom’s bright green eyes. They looked as though someone had replaced them with emeralds.

She smiled down at her son, he was finally awake. She had been worried about him; something had been giving her the wrong idea. She gave another weak smile.

“We’re almost in Eterna,” she whispered silently. Henry nodded his head to show that he understood he half smiled then turned his head sideways, laid back and feel asleep, this time he wasn’t fighting it.


He woke up again earlier that he expected, they were still on the plane. He could tell though that it was beginning to go down, towards the sunlit town of Eterna, where Eterna Forest lay. The place of the grass Pokemon. It exited Henry to be here now, away from the city he was born in, it was time to start a new adventure.

As they touched ground, the plane bounced over a few bumps and then sailed smoothly the rest of the way down. Everyone sat still as they brought the tunnel to the plane and attached it. A couple minutes later everyone was off the plane on in the tunnel or the airport itself.

Henry was taking his backpack on his back. He was thinking about Shroomish when it hit him. Seriously the Shroomish had head butted Henry. Henry had fallen to floor with pain. The Shroomish looked at him angrily, and before his parents could get back from the shock and help him up, he stood up and took out his Pokeball.

No one was around them at the moment as they had been of in an alley searching for bathrooms.

“Go, Growlithe show the mushroom your power!” Henry yelled, his parents looked on being proud that their son was battling the Shroomish. The crimson light formed a shape, the light went back to the Pokeball and the battle had begun.

“Use Ember, Growlithe,” Henry said calmly. Growlithe drew back and sent out little balls of fire that danced through the soft air to the bad tempered mushroom. The tiny mushroom tried to jump but it was a little too late, the balls of fire hit the small pegs on its tiny circular body. Shroomish yelled out in extreme pain and sent itself at Growlithe head first. The attack heading for Growlithe hit it hard. Growlithe flipped back in pain.

“Argh…Use Flamethrower Growlithe,” he said with a sigh, his parents looked on warily they didn’t know Growlithe knew that move. Growlithe took a step back and let out a strong wave of intense fire. Shroomish stood its ground as the fire flames came close to it. It jumped at the last second, this time leaping over all the flames. Henry let out a soft curse. When Shroomish landed it let out purple spores out of its bulb. The purple spores let all over Growlithe before any of them could react. Growlithe was poisoned.

“NO! Growlithe! Come on use Flamethrower again,” Henry yelled out, his parents still were immobilized; Growlithe flinched for a second then took a step back and let out a strong wave of flames. This time the flame curved so when Shroomish jumped it hit the mushroom directly, it let out a yell of pain. Before Growlithe did something else, it stepped forward closed its eyes and turned purple. Growlithe fell to the floor and then the purple vanished. Shroomish seemed to grin. It lowered its head and ran at Growlithe, Growlithe couldn’t do anything, the attack was successful and Growlithe feel to the floor with pain, once again.

“Growlithe…Growlithe, F...f…flamethrower,” Henry moaned, not wanting to lose Growlithe. Growlithe was barely able to take it, but to please his master he stood in place open his mouth and let out a long wave of flames, it generated enough power to build enough speed to hit Shroomish. The fire engulfed Shroomish, it burned it, when the flame was gone, Shroomish was covered in black, even its eyes. Henry seized the chance, he took out a Pokeball and threw it at Shroomish, it took him in with a crimson light, then it was gone, the Pokeball was shaking madly.

As the events happened Henry ran over to the small dog and picked him up, his parents smiled.

Last edited by Legendary Wolf; 09-29-2007 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 09-30-2007, 03:31 PM
Tamer Marco Offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: i did it 4 teh lulz
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Default Re: ~Snowpoint Snow~

Intro: Starts off explaining where the setting is and the season, nicely done. You also show where your trainer lives and what he looks like, but that seemed a bit forced. Finally, the boy realizes a blizzard is coming to Snowpoint, and they have to flee.

Nice Introduction here, but when you do them, you don't have to just force the detail out of the story.

Plot:They get plane tickets and go to the new city. The family finds some reports of a grass Pokemon attacking and injuring people, while they eat. Then they encounter the Pokemon, a Shroomish.

Detail:Good all around detail for the Shroomish, but for your introduction next time, you don't have to force all of the detail out of the story to make it run faster.

Battle: Even with a type advantage, you made it seem interesting, with Shroomish casting a Stun Spore, and Growlithe having to fight his way through it. You also did some nice stuff with the Shroomish actually taking down the trainer, and flinching and everything. Nicely done.

Grammar:Strange, there were no mistakes in this story. Nice editing, but I laughed at this.

Seriously the Shroomish had head butted Henry.
Final Outcome:Shroomish Captured!
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Old 09-30-2007, 03:38 PM
Legendary Wolf Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 3)
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Florida
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Default Re: ~Snowpoint Snow~

Thanks for the grade Tamer, it was helpful.
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