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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.

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Old 09-30-2007, 03:47 PM
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jabpoké Offline
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Default New Blood [Ready for grade I guess]

Going for: Chimchar
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My first URPG story is up! Yes, I'm tense and nervous, and I will probably fail to capture the Chimchar. Here goes...

As I strode across the narrow path, leaving the super-sized Pokémon Centre in my wake, I firmly grasped my Pokéball with joy. A new friend to share adventures with… I’d never leave my new Pokémon behind, but this will be tough, impossibly tough, however, we’ll take good care of that and stick together until the end of everything. Here, now, marks the beginning of my journey and it’ll be a real blast…Encountering a wide array of species of Pokémon, battling Trainers and going for gold in all we do. Oh the thrills I and my Duskull will have, already stored far away into the future ahead of us.

ACHOO! Oh, I do apologize…having hay fever and walking on a path stretching from one end of a field to another really gets to your nose. Let me explain; I’m Luke, rookie Pokémon Trainer from my home town…or so I remember. This is the beautiful field of fresh flowers, blooming across the lush grass and breathing in solar energy, also known as the route to a large city. Apparently, it is far more beautiful than I ever imagined.

You see, know that I’ve obtained my ultimate partner, I can begin a fantasy quest to capture as many Pokémon as possible while training them to be the greatest of them all. But I haven’t even had a chance to marvel at my partner yet, so I should imagine now would be the best time to do so. Why is this? Well, let’s just say there was a family crisis.

With all my strength, I whisked the white and red ball into the silent air, releasing the creature that was sealed within. Bright stars danced with joy to the ground, seeming to kneel at the presence of the Pokémon. A shiny, phantom skull-like Pokémon emerged and absorbed the stars in the twilight of the bright flash.

“Dusk-ull. Dusk…” The Pokémon said in a croaky, ghost-like voice.

“I’m pretty sure that’s my Duskull? Too cool! What a shocking partner!”

They both stood there in the wind, human and Pokémon, marvelling at each other before leaping into the air, filled with one hundred percent joy.

“Duskull! My partner! I should have released you before. Doesn’t it feel great to be future partners?”

The Pokémon slowly grinned a petrifying grin, and looked up into the sky with sheer happiness. It raised its phantom arms into the air, which quickly turned sudden platinum. Dusk (that’s what I called it, at least) seemed as if he were cursing something, but proved to be singing by releasing a low-pitched scream in a black cloud from the mouth.

“That’s so pretty, Dusk!” said I, meaning the complete opposite in my mind when it morphed into a scaly skull. My Pokémon smiled brightly again, and swayed past me for some awkward reason.

“Dusk, where are you going?” I said, dashing after it, but to no avail as Dusk was nowhere in sight. From my belt, I clicked my Pokéball off, and held it out, firmly grasping the object.
If this is my partner, then we’ll have to learn to actually stick together. He can’t just run off…Why would he, anyway?

A brilliant scarlet beam shot out from the mouth of the Pokéball and leaped into grass as thick as, well, very thick grass that tickled your nose at any time, regardless of your size. Chasing after the Pokémon, it eventually came to him, and consumed my partner in an eerie, ruby light.

“What was that for, Dusk? Why’d you jump into those patches of thick, hell grass?”

As these questions were to be unanswered for now, I began to hear irritating rustling-like noises emerge from the thick grass. Rotating my head left, my eyes looked down and were glued to the grass. The rustling was getting louder, and louder, and louder still.

“What’s going on in there?” I thought before I plunged into the depths of the emerald grass. I was crawling to the location wherein the sound was coming from, hunting down the creature that was making the noise. Breathing quickly, I turned immediately left to a new area of grass, which was fairly shorter. In this grass, it was still rather annoying, but I thanked God that I discovered what Pokémon made the noise.

It seemed to be a Chimchar. At least, I thought it was. The Pokémon let out a quiet howl and unleashed small flames from its mouth into the sky above.

“Chimchar – if that’s your name – you’d better be prepared for a battle.” I whispered so silently that it was almost impossible to hear.

“Dusk, I don’t think we’ve started properly. Maybe we should start again and take care of this Chimchar!” I said with extreme confidence, looking down at my partner (who was still inside his Pokéball, mind you). I might have been imagining it, but I thought I saw a grin sparkle from within the Pokéball before I threw my Pokéball again. How wonderful the feeling was to throw it for the second time.

A second after the ball had come in contact with the damp ground, my partner danced joyfully across to the Chimchar, throwing shiny stars everywhere as he prepared for his first battle. The fire monkey smiled, and quickly raised a fist that started to blaze with intense heat and flare.

“This is it! Prepare for a humiliating defeat, Chimchar!” I stormed before I forced my cap to rotate round. Because this very battle was my first, I promised myself I wouldn’t hold anything back.

“OK Dusk, use your Confuse Ray attack!”

My partner formed a transparent ball of one-hundred percent confusion power and threw it at the opponent. The Chimchar stumbled backwards, holding its head and tripping backwards. When it could stand up properly again, its feet grasped the ground firmly. The foe breathed a huge breath and unleashed a blazing sphere of flame. Dusk tried it’s best to dodge the attack, but the sphere continuously fed on oxygen, causing it to spread and burn pieces of grass as soon as it had hit him.

“Du-usk-ull! It cried out as it was blasted across the field. I assisted him in helping him up, and he seemed to regenerate enough health to jump back into the action.

“You can do it, partner! I believe in you! Try to use your speed, not power, and you’ll win!”

Taking this advice, Dusk growled in frustration and zoomed past Chimchar at blinding ghost-like speed. He was now behind the opponent.

“Good, Dusk, good! Now, counter with Shadow Sneak!”

The phantom-like Pokémon screamed and launched itself straight past Chimchar, sending it flying onto the ground. It was now crying with pain, for the foe was now feeling a dreaded curse.

“It’s weakened! Can you strike back again with Astonish, buddy?”

Dusk was more eager to win than ever. His eyes turned a startling, lightning blue, and he quickly elbowed the Chimchar with eternal darkness. The target fell to the ground, clinging its arm and crying out in agony and fear.

“Perfect! One more move will-” But I did not complete the sentence. I thought about two friends, who would assist me whenever darkness and fear came upon us.

Chimchar is probably begging to not-be defeated, I thought. Perhaps we should try…

My filthy hand crawled into my hole-infested pocket. I had one Pokéball that started to roll around the entire pocket as I pocked it. Yes, it was a true ball.

Alright. Maybe I should. Any pair can get along; they just need to realise it.

Immediately taking it out of my pocket, I enlarged the Pokéball and hurled it across the field, where it finally came in contact with the Chimchar. Consuming the Pokémon, it violently shook on the damp, firm ground and never seemed to stop. I could faintly hear my heart beat. The ball was still shaking, frantic for freedom. Dusk was now twitching its nose slightly, trying to intimidate the creature to make it fear returning to the field…

The storyline is a bit wonky, I know. I can come up with better plots!

Credit to the amazing Wingull!
Pokémon of the month - Suicune!
YAY! I got voted in MOTM!Thanks for everyone who did!

Last edited by jabpoké; 09-30-2007 at 03:50 PM.
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Old 09-30-2007, 03:56 PM
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Mitsuzo-kun Offline
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Default Re: New Blood [Ready for grade I guess]

This story is less than a quarter of the minimum length needed for a Chimchar. The plot is too basic, and the detail isn't enough. Sorry, but you'll need to fix it up a lot.

Just try a lot harder. You'll do great; I'm sure of it! ^_^;
If you hadn't noticed, I'm inactive at the moment due to school and the like. If you need anything, drop me a PM and I'll reply ASAP, I try and visit every couple of days. Activity will pick up when there's a school break, I promise. D:

iamnotyou11 (00:41:35): scrotom?


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Old 09-30-2007, 04:04 PM
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jabpoké Offline
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Default Re: New Blood [Ready for grade I guess]

Originally Posted by djax94 View Post
This story is less than a quarter of the minimum length needed for a Chimchar. The plot is too basic, and the detail isn't enough. Sorry, but you'll need to fix it up a lot.

Just try a lot harder. You'll do great; I'm sure of it! ^_^;
Oh, OK. I guess this could be locked, then.

Credit to the amazing Wingull!
Pokémon of the month - Suicune!
YAY! I got voted in MOTM!Thanks for everyone who did!
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Old 09-30-2007, 05:42 PM
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Default Re: New Blood [Ready for grade I guess]

Originally Posted by jabpoké View Post
Oh, OK. I guess this could be locked, then.
Oh no no, you don't need it locked. Just fix up what you have here and keep working on it; you'll get the capture eventually. I'd try checking out this thread and perhaps a few other stories around here to see what's expected for the little fire monkey monkey.

Also, you're allowed to keep trying with the same story over and over again as many times as it takes for you to get a passing grade. Just keep in mind what your grader has told you to improve on and keep editing. :]

If you have any questions whatsoever, I'd be happy to help you out, so just feel free to give me a shout through PM/IM.
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