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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 07-14-2008, 01:49 AM
Caraa Offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
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Lightbulb Mistakes.

I'm in the middle of a fan fic, and I had writer's block. So what I do is write about something different. Instead putting all of my brainstorming ideas in the trash, I thought I'd share. Criticism is highly appreciated, and maybe corrections, too. Here goes! ((It's a rather short story, not even a story. Just a brainstorm to help my creative thinking, but none the less a fan fic!))

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Journal--

I made a mistake. I wasn't supposed to be there. But I should have listened. "Be smart, Maria. Don't go outside, no matter what happens. And you will be saved." My mother's last words echoed in my ears. I tried to fight them, but it didn't work. I thought I was right, but somewhere in me...I was knew I was wrong. Team Galactic was taking over Floaramora. Raiding houses, stores, PokeCenters. I made a base in a tree for me and my mother so they couldn't find my mother and I. But my mom had to leave. She had to know what was actually going on. And she was shot. Just like me. But when I went out, I went down the road to the Windworks, thinking they wouldn't be there. But they were. I heard them talking about something that was probably extremely important, because they chased me away. And shot me. I have endurance though - and energy - and lost them. I went back into the base.

But now the fear of death was overcoming me. I was hurt. Physically because I was shot in my left shoulder, mentally because I didn't listen to my dead mother. Tears streaked my face. I bit my lip. I slowly lost consciousness. Sounds growing thinner, my sobs shorter.

And then, I saw an eye.

It pierced through me, like it was looking at something much bigger, deeper, even. I winced, as something began to ache. I looked at my shoulder. It was bleeding. I groaned, and began to walk around. Looking for a way to get out. When I felt something brush up against my neck, I whipped around, but only saw a faint silhouette disappearing. I clutched my shoulder, turned around, and walked faster. Something grabbed my leg this time and tried to trip me. I looked down and a purple smoke began riding up my whole entire leg, almost engulfing it. I screamed and began to run. I seemed to be running towards a tunnel of light. I smiled and ran harder, but whatever was trying to catch me was getting close. I couldn't laugh just yet. I was nearing the end of the darkness. I reached for the light. I didn't step into it.

But I did fall.

--Maria
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Old 07-14-2008, 01:55 AM
Sight of the Stars's Avatar
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Default Re: Mistakes.

It isnt bad. There is good description, and that is a good shot. Brainstorming is always a good idea.
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[12:38:59 AM] GallantlyGlaceon: ...So how do we do this? XD
[12:39:20 AM] Sight of the Stars: it's nothing really big, just usually a note in your sig that's all like 'paired with soandso'
[12:39:44 AM] Sight of the Stars: just be like "SIGHT OF THE STARZ IS MAH BIZNITCH"
[12:39:57 AM] GallantlyGlaceon: XDDD
[12:39:59 AM] Sight of the Stars: and I'll be like "GALLANTLYGLACEON IS MAH HOE."
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