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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 11-08-2007, 03:20 AM
Diesel 34's Avatar
Diesel 34 Offline
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Default Demon Blaze{Work in Progress}

I'm all for some suggestions.

Chapter One:

As you all know, in the book we are reading it keeps saying “The Lion doesn’t stalk you, but you are the one who stalks the lion.” The woman said.
I couldn’t believe we were talking about this again. Mrs. Hiroma just kept asking the same question over and over. We never knew before, why the heck would we know the answer now if nothing had changed. All it actually did is waste class time. No one ever bothers to even listen to hear when she starts saying those words. She would ask the question, wait for someone to answer, and then she would just call on some random person, and they would always say some stupid answer.
“Jack Arzon, what do you think the phrase means.” She asked.
It was my turn to answer. Oh boy. I had to think for a minute. I never had even a clue to the answer of this question, but I guess it was time for a stupid remark.
“Well Mrs. Hiroma, I feel that it means nothing. It’s just something to confuse us and wastes time.” I said.
Now here comes the always fun part where she yells. All the time she says “Well pay attention next time we read the chapter and maybe you will understand it.” Considering the fact we have read the chapter about 17 times we should really move on in the book. After all, could the meaning of the phrase be all that important.
“Jack pay more attention next time we read the chapter. Class, for 17 days I have asked you all, what that phrase means. Not one of you has been able to tell me the correct answer. If you just pay more attention and think about it, you might just get it. Class is dismissed.” Mrs. Hiroma said, “The homework is to read Chapter 13. Have a nice day everyone.”
The class gathered up their stuff and just walked out of the room. No one ever bothered to write down the homework because it was the same. So this was my life. Heading to school everyday and wishing for the weekend to come. Everyday I felt trapped in a loop. Nothing ever seemed to change. Get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to school, run away from the bullies, go home, do homework, eat, play baseball, and go to bed. When I reached my locker, I looked at it and saw my reflection. I was a guy with jet black hair that went to down to me neck. I wore a red shirt and had a black short sleeve jacket unzipped over it. I looked the same as I did back when I was in 4th grade. I grew a few inches since then, but I was in 7th grade now. I wanted to stand out.
One person who did stand out of all the students was Heather Cartas. The prettiest girl in the whole grade, or at least to me. She was a tall, long, dark hair, athletic girl. I have had a crush on her since I was in 5th grade when she first moved to the area. I wanted to ask her out, but I was way to shy. Anytime she talked to me, I was barely able to form a sentence so she wouldn’t think I was some sort of freak.
“Hey Jack, are you coming to lunch or what? We don’t have all day.” A voice said.
I turned around and saw my best friend in the whole world, Daniel Jacobs. He and I had known each other ever since Preschool. We only shared 3 out of 10 of our classes so we made the most of lunch.
“Yeah, I’m coming Daniel.” I said shoving books into my locker.
I quickly locked my locker and caught up with him.
“So you ready to go grab some food over at Romeros?” Daniel said.
“You know it.” I said.
Romero was the fast food restaurant across the street. Sense it was only across the street the school let us eat there if we didn’t want to eat the cafeteria food. It also had to deal with the fact that Romero, was actually the healthiest fast food joint in the entire city. The food there was even healthier then the cafeteria. The only reason we ate there is because somehow they made the food that tastes good and healthy. The one thing that people would think is impossible, but it isn’t any more.
”So, Mrs. Hiroma going to ask again what that stupid phrase means?” Daniel asked.
“Yup.” I said
“Doesn’t she have anything better to teach us than spend about a month asking us this question?” Daniel said.
“Considering how long she has just said the same thing, probably not.” I said.
Daniel just started laughing, but I truthfully thought that. After all, doesn’t she need to teach us a bunch of things before school ends unless; that is all she has to teach us. Then she really shouldn’t be getting paid much money for her job.
So far the day seemed like every other day and I have a feeling the rest of the day won’t be different either. I had to go through 3 more hours of torture before I could go home.







Chapter Two:

I highly doubt that my day would be getting any better. I had Chemistry, Spanish, and Ancient Mythology and Legends. Mythology was an okay class, but my other two teachers were just plan boring. The only good part about these classes was that Daniel and I shared Spanish. In Chemistry and Mythology Heather and I shared those classes. I never talked to her, but I would stare at her and dream of us being together.
I walked into Chemistry and looked around the room. So far only 5 other people were there, but there was 5 minutes left for everyone to get there. No one would ever dare be late to Mrs. Chambers class. If you were just one second late, you would have to write a 10,000 word report on Styrofoam. No ones been late to her class since her first day at the school. She was nicer than you would think though. When you were doing a project with your lab partner you could talk as long as the lab got done.
When the bell rang Mrs. Chambers told us all to head to the front of the room which could only mean one thing. New seats. She would give us new partners whenever she wanted to. You always spent at least a month with the partner. So far I’ve had two partners in the first three months. One who barely came to class and another who slept half of the time. I did everything, but I always got a grade.
“Alright class, this time I will be paring you up with the opposite sex. I will start by putting Michelle and Sam in the front there.” She said.
Oh great. Hopefully I would get a partner who would work. A lot of girls would just get the guys to do the work for them so they could fix their hair and make up. I guess if I got one of those girls as my partner it wouldn’t make to much of a difference then it has been the past few months.
It wasn’t until she called my name that I paid attention. “Now I want Jack and… Jack and Heather at the back right lab.” Mrs. Chambers said.
Say what now. I was going to be paired up with Heather? How was I going to work with someone I could barely talk to. This was going to be interesting. I walked back there and sat down. Heather was right behind and took the other. Once she was seated she flung her big beautiful black hair around.
“Hey Jack. How’s it going?” Heather said.
“Pretty good. How bout you Heather?” I said
“Meh. So so. Can you believe how she does this every few months or so.?” Heather said.
“I know. She said the first day of school that we would change every few weeks. If she had said that we change every few months we would probably change once at most during the year.” I said.
Heather started to laugh. It was the truth, but I guess I made it sound funny. I can’t believe that I was having a real conversation with her without getting tongue tied. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad class for awhile.
“Alright class, now who can tell me what el artista dibujó una obra maestra hermosa means?” Said Ms. Sierto.
Spanish wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t exactly boring enough to put you to sleep. Ms. Sierto was from Spain, but she moved to the U.S. when she was 17 so she learned our language and decided to teach a Spanish class.
A lot of the time she would just make you translate sentences and do worksheets. Boring yes, but it beat having to do a bunch of projects.
“What does it mean Mr. Jacobs?” She said.
“It means the artist drew a beautiful masterpiece.” Daniel said.
Daniel may fool around a lot, but he is one of the best students at school. He was pretty much the only one who could have a conversation in Spanish with Ms. Sierto right off the back. He was really only a good student because he doesn’t want his parents nagging him to work harder. When you get straight A pluses its hard for your parents to complain.
I stared at the clock just waiting for Spanish to be over. We had 30 seconds left until that sweet sweet bell rang and I would head off for my last period of the day. I couldn’t wait to see Heather again. It’s hard being away from her after sitting at her and getting the best view that you could get of her.
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Last edited by Diesel 34; 11-17-2007 at 10:23 PM.
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  #2  
Old 11-08-2007, 03:54 AM
celebihunter's Avatar
celebihunter Offline
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Talking Re: Book{Name Not Chosen Yet}

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel 34 View Post
I'm all for some suggestions.

Chapter One:

As you all know, in the book we are reading it keeps saying “The Lion doesn’t stalk you, but you are the one who stalks the lion.” The woman said.
I couldn’t believe we were talking about this again. Mrs. Hiroma just kept asking the same question over and over. We never knew before, why the heck would we know the answer now if nothing had changed. All it actually did is waste class time. No one ever bothers to even listen to hear when she starts saying those words. She would ask the question, wait for someone to answer, and then she would just call on some random person, and they would always say some stupid answer.
“Jack Arzon, what do you think the phrase means.” She asked.
It was my turn to answer. Oh boy. I had to think for a minute. I never had even a clue to the answer of this question, but I guess it was time for a stupid remark.
“Well Mrs. Hiroma, I feel that it means nothing. It’s just something to confuse us and wastes time.” I said.
Now here comes the always fun part where she yells. All the time she says “Well pay attention next time we read the chapter and maybe you will understand it.” Considering the fact we have read the chapter about 17 times we should really move on in the book. After all, could the meaning of the phrase be all that important.
“Jack pay more attention next time we read the chapter. Class, for 17 days I have asked you all, what that phrase means. Not one of you has been able to tell me the correct answer. If you just pay more attention and think about it, you might just get it. Class is dismissed.” Mrs. Hiroma said, “The homework is to read Chapter 13. Have a nice day everyone.”
The class gathered up their stuff and just walked out of the room. No one ever bothered to write down the homework because it was the same. So this was my life. Heading to school everyday and wishing for the weekend to come. Everyday I felt trapped in a loop. Nothing ever seemed to change. Get up, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to school, run away from the bullies, go home, do homework, eat, play baseball, and go to bed. When I reached my locker, I looked at it and saw my reflection. I was a guy with jet black hair that went to down to me instead of me,my neck. I wore a red shirt and had a black short sleeve jacket unzipped over it. I looked the same as I did back when I was in 4th grade. I grew a few inches since then, but I was in 7th grade now. I wanted to stand out.
One person who did stand out of all the students was Heather Cartas. The prettiest girl in the whole grade, or at least to me. She was a tall, long, dark hair, athletic girl. I have had a crush on her since I was in 5th grade when she first moved to the area. I wanted to ask her out, but I was way to shy. Anytime she talked to me, I was barely able to form a sentence so she wouldn’t think I was some sort of freak.
“Hey Jack, are you coming to lunch or what? We don’t have all day.” A voice said.
I turned around and saw my best friend in the whole world, Daniel Jacobs. He and I had known each other ever since Preschool. We only shared 3 out of 10 of our classes so we made the most of lunch.
“Yeah, I’m coming Daniel.” I said shoving books into my locker.
I quickly locked my locker and caught up with him.
“So you ready to go grab some food over at Romeros?” Daniel said.
“You know it.” I said.
Romero was the fast food restaurant across the street. Sense it was only across the street the school let us eat there if we didn’t want to eat the cafeteria food. It also had to deal with the fact that Romero, was actually the healthiest fast food joint in the entire city. The food there was even healthier then the cafeteria. The only reason we ate there is because somehow they made the food that tastes good and healthy. The one thing that people would think is impossible, but it isn’t any more.
”So, Mrs. Hiroma going to ask again what that stupid phrase means?” Daniel asked.
“Yup.” I said
“Doesn’t she have anything better to teach us than spend about a month asking us this question?” Daniel said.
“Considering how long she has just said the same thing, probably not.” I said.
Daniel just started laughing, but I truthfully thought that. After all, doesn’t she need to teach us a bunch of things before school ends unless; that is all she has to teach us. Then she really shouldn’t be getting paid much money for her job.
So far the day seemed like every other day and I have a feeling the rest of the day won’t be different either. I had to go through 3 more hours of torture before I could go home.







Chapter Two:

I highly doubt that my day would be getting any better. I had Chemistry, Spanish, and Ancient Mythology and Legends. Mythology was an okay class, but my other two teachers were just plan boring. The only good part about these classes was that Daniel and I shared Spanish. In Chemistry and Mythology Heather and I shared those classes. I never talked to her, but I would stare at her and dream of us being together.
I walked into Chemistry and looked around the room. So far only 5 other people were there, but there was 5 minutes left for everyone to get there. No one would ever dare be late to Mrs. Chambers class. If you were just one second late, you would have to write a 10,000 word report on Styrofoam. No ones been late to her class since her first day at the school. She was nicer than you would think though. When you were doing a project with your lab partner you could talk as long as the lab got done.
When the bell rang Mrs. Chambers told us all to head to the front of the room which could only mean one thing. New seats. She would give us new partners whenever she wanted to. You always spent at least a month with the partner. So far I’ve had two partners in the first three months. One who barely came to class and another who slept half of the time. I did everything, but I always got a grade.
“Alright class, this time I will be paring you up with the opposite sex. I will start by putting Michelle and Sam in the front there.” She said.
Oh great. Hopefully I would get a partner who would work. A lot of girls would just get the guys to do the work for them so they could fix their hair and make up. I guess if I got one of those girls as my partner it wouldn’t make to much of a difference then it has been the past few months.
It wasn’t until she called my name that I paid attention. “Now I want Jack and… Jack and Heather at the back right lab.” Mrs. Chambers said.
Say what now. I was going to be paired up with Heather? How was I going to work with someone I could barely talk to. This was going to be interesting. I walked back there and sat down. Heather was right behind and took the other. Once she was seated she flung her big beautiful black hair around.
“Hey Jack. How’s it going?” Heather said.
“Pretty good. How bout you Heather?” I said
“Meh. So so. Can you believe how she does this every few months or so.?” Heather said.
“I know. She said the first day of school that we would change every few weeks. If she had said that we change every few months we would probably change once at most during the year.” I said.
Heather started to laugh. It was the truth, but I guess I made it sound funny. I can’t believe that I was having a real conversation with her without getting tongue tied. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad class for awhile.
“Alright class, now who can tell me what el artista dibujó una obra maestra hermosa means?” Said Ms. Sierto.
Spanish wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t exactly boring enough to put you to sleep. Ms. Sierto was from Spain, but she moved to the U.S. when she was 17 so she learned our language and decided to teach a Spanish class.
A lot of the time she would just make you translate sentences and do worksheets. Boring yes, but it beat having to do a bunch of projects.
“What does it mean Mr. Jacobs?” She said.
“It means the artist drew a beautiful masterpiece.” Daniel said.
Daniel may fool around a lot, but he is one of the best students at school. He was pretty much the only one who could have a conversation in Spanish with Ms. Sierto right off the back. He was really only a good student because he doesn’t want his parents nagging him to work harder. When you get straight A pluses its hard for your parents to complain.
I stared at the clock just waiting for Spanish to be over. We had 30 seconds left until that sweet sweet bell rang and I would head off for my last period of the day. I couldn’t wait to see Heather again. It’s hard being away from her after sitting at her and getting the best view that you could get of her.
There is only a few minor errors, and by that I mean it was so near perfection that I only found one error that caught my eye immediately. I even did spell check on it and the only errors it caught were the names and the spanish words.
Corrections in bold. This is great, man.
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  #3  
Old 11-10-2007, 01:17 AM
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Default Re: Book{Name Not Chosen Yet and Work in Progress}

i found a few spelling mistakes, but other than that, i love it! ^_^
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Goodbye.
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  #4  
Old 11-14-2007, 10:57 PM
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Diesel 34 Offline
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Default Re: Book{Name Not Chosen Yet and Work in Progress}

Wrote another chapter

Chapter Three:

Once it rang I swooped up my stuff and charged out the door for my next class. I didn’t pay attention to where I was going and ran into something hard. Although I knew that it wasn’t a something, but a someone. I looked up slowly and when I saw who was there I gulped so loud they could’ve heard me in India.
Standing there right in front of me was Manuel Delarosa. The meanest, cruelest, merciless person to ever walk the earth. I could tell that I was going to be beat up unless a teacher would walk by. The thing was though, I’m not even sure if that would work since some of the teachers in the school are afraid of him.
“Well well well. Looky what we have here. Little Jack Riley. You need to watch where your going little buddy. I may just have to teach you a little lesson. So you pay better attention next time.
I started praying that some sort of miracle would happen that would save my life. Apparently God was listening and answered my prayer. Ms. Sierto appeared at the door by the window. Manuel quickly picked me up and dusted me off to make it look like we were getting along. He quickly took off away from me.
I was lucky that Ms. Sierto worked at our school even though she was boring. She was Manuels aunt who lives with his family. She is one of those few who he’s afraid of. She knows that Manuel’s a bully, but can’t really do anything about it. After all, his mom thinks he is a sweet little angel, but whenever has the mom ever thought her son was the greatest in the world.
I sat down in my seat for Mythology class and waited. I was always the first one to class since I had my locker on the other side of the school from it and my Spanish class was in the middle. I just took my stuff for both classes. Also, I was one of those few who didn’t get into class at the very last second.
I decided to look at something in my book while I waited for class to start and I randomly flipped to a page about a Guardian angel of the Demon. Apparently every single demon had one. It was a creature who made sure that the demon was always protected and would have power when they need it. It did say though that they would only appear sometimes and it is the angels choice on whether or not to help them.
It sounded to me like these so called guardians weren’t to much like them if they didn’t always have to protect them if they didn’t want to. Sounded to me like those fat guys who just sit at home watching tv all day, but who was I to judge what wasn’t even real. After all, it is a legend. No proof of it existing what so ever
As more kids started to file in everyone was opening their books and placing comic books in them so they wouldn’t have to pay attention. I did notice that Heather wasn’t talking, but she was actually reading her book. I tried to see what legend or myth she was reading, but her hair was blocking the book.
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  #5  
Old 11-15-2007, 04:06 AM
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Talking Re: Book{Name Not Chosen Yet and Work in Progress}

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel 34 View Post
Wrote another chapter

Chapter Three:

Once it rang I swooped up my stuff and charged out the door for my next class. I didn’t pay attention to where I was going and ran into something hard. Although I knew that it wasn’t a something, but a someone. I looked up slowly and when I saw who was there I gulped so loud they could’ve heard me in India.
Standing there right in front of me was Manuel Delarosa. The most meanest, cruelest, and merciless person to ever walk the earth. I could tell that I was going to be beat up unless a teacher would walk by. The thing was though, I’m not even sure if that would work since some of the teachers in the school are afraid of him.
“Well well well. Looky what we have here. Little Jack Riley. You need to watch where your going little buddy. I may just have to teach you a little lesson. So you pay better attention next time.
I started praying that some sort of miracle would happen that would save my life. Apparently God was listening and answered my prayer. Ms. Sierto appeared at the door by the window. Manuel quickly picked me up and dusted me off to make it look like we were getting along. He quickly took off away from me.
I was lucky that Ms. Sierto worked at our school even though she was boring. She was Manuels aunt who lives with his family. She is one of those few who he’s afraid of. She knows that Manuel’s a bully, but can’t really do anything about it. After all, his mom thinks he is a sweet little angel, but whenever has the mom ever thought her son was the greatest in the world.
I sat down in my seat for Mythology class and waited. I was always the first one to class since I had my locker on the other side of the school from it and my Spanish class was in the middle. I just took my stuff for both classes. Also, I was one of those few who didn’t get into class at the very last second.
I decided to look at something in my book while I waited for class to start and I randomly flipped to a page about a Guardian angel of the Demon. Apparently every single demon had one. It was a creature who made sure that the demon was always protected and would have power when they need it. It did say though that they would only appear sometimes and it is the angels choice on whether or not to help them.
It sounded to me like these so called guardians weren’t to much like them if they didn’t always have to protect them if they didn’t want to. Sounded to me like those fat guys who just sit at home watching tv all day, but who was I to judge what wasn’t even real. After all, it is a legend. No proof of it existing what so ever.
As more kids started to file in, everyone was opening their books and placing comic books in them so they wouldn’t have to pay attention. I did notice that Heather wasn’t talking, but she was actually reading her book. I tried to see what legend or myth she was reading, but her hair was blocking the book.
Nice, nothing major. Tell me if you see something I put that is questionable.
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  #6  
Old 11-15-2007, 04:27 AM
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Default Re: Book{Name Not Chosen Yet and Work in Progress}

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Originally Posted by celebihunter View Post
Nice, nothing major. Tell me if you see something I put that is questionable.
It's meanest, not most meanest.
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