Demonic Aura [Winter Competition]
|Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.
12-09-2007, 08:11 AM
Demonic Aura [Winter Competition]
Please Note: There are no Pokemon on the Demonic Plane, which means Kera won't know what any Pokemon is.
Also Note: The characters Tai and Kera are based off of characters two of my friends made. Yes, I know there is a Tai Sky on the forum. No, I'm not stealing the name, he gave me permission to use it.
The two blades came together with a resounding ‘clang’. The larger of the two slid away first, the girl behind it taking a quick step backwards. Her black hair clung limply to her neck with sweat, the tips gradually turning fiery red like live coals, and her silver eyes were focused. Pointed black wolf ears with stripes of silver poked out of her hair, and a furry black tail with a single ring of silver stuck out behind her, helping to keep her balance. The day was hot but dry, and seemed to suck the moisture out of her. Arid wasteland stretched out as far as she could see in either direction, the monotony broken only by the occasional dead bush or large rock.
“Kera, is it?” The hissing voice caused the girl to start. Her surprised look was quickly replaced with one of suspicion and anger. The man in front of her grinned back, dark eyes sunken into his deathly pale face. Limp, colorless locks framed it, hanging down to his chin. Though he was taller than her, he seemed thin and frail, but that meant little, considering he was a demon—their strength was dictated by their aura, not their muscles. His sword was thinner than the girl’s, and lighter. Though Kera was fast with her broadsword, this stranger was faster.
“How do you know my name?” She spat back before lunging forward, trying to catch him unawares. The man’s sword nimbly flew upwards, colliding with her own, and easily withstood her slash.
“I have my sources,” he replied simply. Kera gritted her teeth. No matter how much she hated to admit it, the strange demon was a better with a sword than she was. If she wanted to end this fight alive, she was going to need a new strategy.
She took a quick glance backward. Even in the perpetual red twilight of the Demonic Plane, she could still see the sword stuck into the black stone behind her. She turned back, but too late—the other demon was upon her. She attempted to dodge, but she was a second too slow. The steel blade slashed through her skin, leaving a long red line along her arm, bleeding sluggishly. Though painful, it wasn’t deep. She stifled a cry of pain and retaliated.
Rather than attack with her sword, she lowered it to her side, freeing her left hand. She raised it, concentrating. Her palm grew warm, and a flame ignited there, not burning her at all. She grinned, tossing it forward. It caught the stranger by surprise, and ignited his clothing.
Every demon has a special power of sorts that they gain from their demonic aura. Kera’s had to do with heat. Along with summoning balls of fire, she could transfer heat from her hands into a conductor, like a metal sword. She did this now, heating the blade of her weapon, though not enough to melt the metal or change its color. She lunged forward, while her opponent tried to put out the fire on his clothes. She struck him this time, succeeding in both knocking his sword away and searing his hand. He staggered backwards, cringing in pain, and glared balefully.
“Crafty little witch,” he hissed angrily, and pulled something from his black cloak. Kera was ready for another blade, like a dagger, or even another sword, but what she saw instead made her blood run cold. The demon pulled out a single leather glove, though it was hardly ordinary. The leather itself was dark red, and lines of gold stitch ran along the top of the fingers, all but the thumb. The gold thread connected a small, glimmering diamond on the tip of each finger to a single bright ruby at the center of the top of the hand. The largest of the gems flickered as the demon pulled the glove on, as though fire was captured inside. Kera knew exactly what it was, having seen it several times, but the fact that this unknown demon possessed it both surprised and horrified her.
The glove was the Gauntlet of Worlds, and had the unique ability to tear holes from the Demonic Plane to the Human Realm and back again. It was created from forces left over from when the Demonic Plane was created, along with a sword known as the Aura Blade that could strip a demon of their demonic power. In the beginning of the Demonic Plane, there was a great struggle for possession of these items, until they were finally won by a wolf demon, Kera’s ancestor. Rather than using them for his own gain, the demon entrusted his twin sons to the task of protecting them, each hidden on opposite sides of the world and in dangerous places that most would fear to go. It was then that a tradition began in their family. Whenever a set of twins were born, they were trained to guard the Gauntlet and Blade, and to keep them out of the hands of those who would misuse them.
It was Kera and her sister, Kyira, who where the most recent of these twins. They had only been guarding the two relics for a little over a year, with Kyira looking after the Gauntlet on an island surrounded by a treacherous sea, while Kera watched the Blade at the center of an enormous desert. That this pale demon had the Gauntlet meant one thing—Kyira was dead. Kera knew, without a doubt, that her sister would have died before she would let anyone take the Gauntlet.
At first, panic and sorrow gripped Kera, and she stood immobile. However, almost at once, this was replaced with overwhelming fury. Her silver eyes blazed, and flames engulfed both her hands, fueled by her rage. She leaped forward, her sword fiery as well, and attacked.
Immediately after putting on the Gauntlet, the pale demon tapped the ruby with his free hand. A bright speck of light shot along the golden lines of thread until it reached the diamonds on the tips of his fingers. The diamonds flashed briefly before growing out into long, crystalline claws. Just before Kera reached him, he turned and slashed out at the air. The claws ripped a gaping black hole, and he leaped through, the portal closing behind him. Kera roared angrily as her fiery sword hit nothing but air. It took her less than a second for her to realize that, in stepping towards her opponent, she had stepped away from the Aura Blade. She whirled back around in time to see a second portal being ripped open next to the onyx stone that held the Blade. Grinning triumphantly, he gripped the hilt with his free hand, and used the claws of the Gauntlet to cut through the stone.
In a last-ditch attempt to stop him, Kera rushed forward, but was again too slow. Before she reached him, he pulled the sword free, and slid it upwards. Kera didn’t have the time to stop, and her momentum rushed her into the sword, skewering herself. Pain exploded in her chest, where the blade had struck, and she suddenly couldn’t breathe or move, as though she was paralyzed. With a vicious tug, the sword was pulled from her. Strangely, there was no blood, and the pain was slowly ebbing away. It left her feeling empty, like something important had been torn from her…
Weakly, she looked up into the face of her attacker, who was sneering triumphantly, and then at the sword that had been in her chest seconds ago. Stuck to it, much like she had been, was a faint specter shaped like a red wolf pup, its fur flickering like fire. It struggled feebly, unable to free itself. Kera recognized it immediately as her demonic aura.
“No…” She wheezed, transfixed by the sight.
“Yes,” hissed the voice of the pale demon. “You’re little more than a human now, girl, and no threat to me. Nothing stands in my way. A new name shall bring fear to the hearts of demons and humans alike. Everyone will remember the name Dominik Shadehand!” He laughed, though it sounded more like a rasping cough, and flicked the pup that was her aura through the portal he had jumped through moments before. Kera watched it and, now that the pain from losing her aura was fading, formed a plan in her mind. She crawled to her feet, and managed to propel herself forward. Dominik was caught unawares as she ran past him. She avoided the claws as she managed to, somehow, tear the Gauntlet off his hand. With the last of her remaining strength, she jumped through the portal after her aura, and it snapped shut behind her.
Kera fell through darkness for several seconds before landing painfully on a bush. She gasped for air, temporarily winded by her trip between worlds, and blinked, surprised by the darkness that had enveloped her. She had heard that the Human Realm changed from day to night according to the position of the sun, which was strange to her after the constant twilight of the Demonic Plane, caused by having three suns in different places and the sky enveloped by clouds of gases spewed by volcanoes daily. Though it occasionally grew lighter, Kera had only ever been in as dark a place once, and then, it had been in a cave with her father, not in some unknown world, alone and without her aura. She shivered and crawled from the spiky bush as quickly as she could, in spite of the darkness. As she did, she caught sight of the pitiful glowing form of her aura a yard or so away. She sighed with relief and began to approach it, only to trip over yet another bush. As a result, she didn’t see the darker form until it touched her aura, and by then it was too late.
The creature was dog-like, with a slightly rounded nose and floppy ears. It was mostly blue, with black markings like a mask on its face, chest, and back paws. Large red eyes looked curiously at the strange ghostly animal before it. It reached out a paw to touch it, just as Kera saw it from the ground and began struggling to get up. It made contact with her aura, and stopped dead. The wolf pup changed, becoming a swirling cloud of bright red energy instead. The energy was absorbed into the dog creature, and it blinked, eyes switching from red to silver. Kera, having finally gotten to her feet, could only stand awestruck.
Whenever an aura is taken from a demon, it can be absorbed by any creature that touches it. However, if it is not the original owner, the aura will reject the new body, and kill it in around twenty-four hours, destroying itself in the process. Thankfully, it is relatively easy to get the aura from a body it doesn’t belong to. If the being is knocked out, the original owner could absorb it back. Knowing this, Kera’s eyes narrowed. She was going to catch that thing if it was the last thing she did.
Her hand went to the sheath of her sword, only to find it empty. Realizing that she must have dropped it after being run through by the aura blade, she gritted her teeth. She’d have to knock out the little thing without it. She crouched down and held out her hand to the bewildered creature.
“C’mere, little dog thing,” she said in what she hoped sounded like a non-threatening voice. “Come here, I won’t hurt you…” It just looked at her and cocked its head to one side. Her patience wearing thin, she growled, “Just get over here, you stupid thing!” She tried to approach it, but tripped again, this time on a rock. She began to pull herself up, but the creature was faster than she’d realized. The last thing she saw before she blacked out was a glowing palm as the animal’s paw connected with her face.
The sun rose slowly, gradually brightening the region of Sarlei and awakening its inhabitants. Professor Andrea Yew had woken long before, while the world was still dark. Even now, less than an hour before her new trainers would arrive, she was setting things up.
The night had been a wild one. All of her starter Pokemon--a Squirtle, Chikorita, Torchic, and a young Vulpix whose egg she’d been given by a trainer that couldn’t care for her--were excited about finally getting their own trainer, perhaps more so than the children themselves. They’d made a mess while she was sleeping, knocking over book shelves and scattering papers everywhere, and Professor Yew had needed to clean it up. The young woman sat heavily on the swivel chair and wiped perspiration off her brow. Her short blonde hair was pulled messily into a ponytail, with a few golden wisps still framing her face. Her sapphire eyes began to close just as a loud knock echoed through the lab. She sighed heavily. Already, the new trainers were coming. She gathered up the four red and white spheres that contained the starters and placed them in four small indentations in the top of a dull gray pedestal. It was actually revival machine, as was indicated when the darker gray area around the Pokeballs began to glow. However, the young professor had to leave them as the knocking grew more insistent. She stepped quickly, shrugging a white lab coat on over the sky blue shirt and jeans she’d worn to clean in.
“Who is- oh, hello, Jimmy.” The boy at the door looked up with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He was short for ten, with a mop of mud-brown hair and cement gray eyes. He wore a rather large cotton black shirt, along with knee-length blue shorts. On his hands, looking somewhat out of place, were a pair of red gloves. They were fingerless, as were those of many aspiring trainers. Apparently, it was some kind of fad that became popular ever since the trainer Ash Ketchum, who had similar gloves, became famous for winning numerous tournaments.
“’Bout time you got here,” he said huffily, though it sounded rather funny coming from the young boy. He pushed past the professor and into the lab, asking as he went, “Where are the Pokemon?”
“They’re right over here.” Yew hurriedly strode past him, and then directed him to the four Pokeballs. They were the specialized balls that were made for the starters. One bore a leaf, one a water droplet, and the last two a tiny flame. Yew began to pick up the leaf ball. It held her Chikorita, which she had saved specially for Jimmy. There was a good possibility that Jimmy would push his Pokemon too hard, or even abandon them, but since he had gotten his license, she couldn’t deny him a Pokemon without getting fired. Chikorita was the most patient, and could take care of himself if he was abandoned, while Vulpix and Squirtle would fight back, and Torchic would have been horrified of him.
“This one would be a good starter for you, Jimmy. A strong Chikorita-“
”No way.” The boy crossed his arms again in a show of defiance. “Chikorita are way too girly, and besides, I want a fire type!”
“Fire types can be hard to handle, especially for a new trainer,” Yew cautioned, not unreasonably. The young boy’s eyes flashed angrily.
“I’ll MAKE it obey!” He lunged forward and grabbed the nearest Pokeball—Vulpix’s, Yew noticed. He threw it forcefully to the ground, where it exploded open in a flash of bright light. A fox-like creature blinked large, orangey brown eyes drowsily. Her triangular snout split in two as she yawned, showing off her pearly white teeth. Her fur was mostly auburn brown, though a tuft on her head and the long fur on her five tails were bright orange. Usually, a Vulpix has six tails, but this one was young. The fifth tail was almost twice as thick as the other four, though, and would split soon.
“A Vulpix?!” Jimmy shouted, incredulous. “Another girly Pokemon. Still, it’s better than a Chikorita. C’mon, Pokemon.” To Yew’s dismay, he grabbed Vulpix by three of her tails and attempted to drag her out the door.
“No, wait, Jimmy-“ She began, but was too late. Vulpix turned around and sank her teeth into the offending hand. The boy let go instantly, screaming bloody murder as the fox Pokemon streaked out the door and into the nearby woods.
“Now will you take the Chikorita?” Yew asked, exasperated, as Jimmy cradled his injury and sniffed. The ten-year-old nodded slowly.
A young boy of sixteen stared aimlessly at the stark white ceiling of the Sakura Town Pokemon Center, his blue eyes blank. He frowned slightly, deep in thought. Almost anxiously, he ran his fingers through his short golden brown hair. His clothing was simple, a light blue T-shirt with forest green sleeves and a pair of somewhat ragged jeans. The four Pokeballs hooked to his weathered brown belt signified that he was a trainer.
"Tai? Is there a Tai Sky here?" The boy, Tai, turned his gaze from the ceiling sharply, causing his blue-rimmed glassed to fall into his lap. After quickly putting them back on, he stood and walked over to the counter where a pink-haired nurse had called his name. On a tray in front of her sat a green gecko creature with a red stomach and three thick tails. Tai smiled when he saw that his partner was looking better than when they had arrived.
"Treecko! You're better!" Tai held out an arm, and, nimble as a Pachirisu, the Treecko scampered up his arm and perched on his shoulder.
"Those burns were serious," the nurse scolded softly. "You need to watch you're Treecko when you fight fire types." Tai frowned slightly.
"It was... Kinda unexpected," Tai replied, attempting to explain the situation. The nurse nodded in understanding and smiled.
"It's fine, just be more careful in the future." Tai nodded, and he and his partner left the center through the large glass double doors.
Last edited by Draconic_Espeon; 12-23-2007 at 06:07 PM.
12-23-2007, 06:17 PM
Re: Demonic Aura [Winter Competition]
Sakura Town was aptly named. When it was first founded, the area was full of cherry trees. Now, some of these original trees, including the large one in the middle of the town square, still remained. In late spring, when the light pink petals fell like snow, was the most beautiful time of year. Throngs of tourists from all over clogged the streets, snapping pictures of friends and family standing amid the drifting petals.
That time had come and gone. It was late summer, and trees held only leaves now. The streets were all but empty. Only the occasional trainer passed through, on their way to Ulfrut City to the north, where many participated in their first gym battle in the region of Sarlei. Tai had arrived earlier that morning, and intended on staying because of what he found in the Forest Pass on the way into Sakura Town.
The route between Alaway Town, where the Pokemon Lab was built, and Sakura Town was surrounded on both sides by steep cliffs. Between these was a small wood, earning it the name Forest Pass. It was mostly inhabited by small bird and bug Pokemon, but Tai discovered something far more rare. On his way through, he saw, and battled, a Riolu, though it was no ordinary Riolu. This one knew fire moves.
It was the Riolu that had burned Treecko. As a result, Tai had been forced to flee, but he wasn’t ready to give up yet. They were in no hurry to get to Ulfrut, so they were having another go at finding it.
Tai trudged through the undergrowth of the forest, past thick, tall grass, and occasionally through prickly bushes. He looked upwards. The canopy reached high above him, and there were only a few places where bits of sky broke past the roof of leaves. There was enough light to see by, which was good, but the going was still difficult. For humans, anyway. Tai caught a glimpse of Treecko in the branches above, easily jumping from one to another. He couldn’t help but grin, happy that his friend was having fun.
Farther in, Tai managed to find a winding trail through the underbrush, more likely used by Pokemon rather than humans. He thought it would be more likely that he’d find the Riolu along the path, since he doubted the fighting/steel type would be all that great at climbing trees. He stepped out onto it, glad to be able to walk more easily. Despite some of the hardships, Tai enjoyed taking a walk through a forest. The air was always clear and fresh, and it was never quiet. He listened to the sounds of the denizens of the wood, the twittering of birds, like Pidgey and Starly, mingling with the calls of furry normal types, like Zigzagoon or Sentret. The time seemed to pass swiftly as he walked. Finally, he saw that the path entered a clearing up ahead. As he headed towards it, he noticed a glittering pool as well. He peered carefully around a tree and into the clearing, in case the Riolu was there. His eyes widened as he saw a shape bending by the pool.
It was dog-like, with blue and tan fur and black markings around silver eyes that resembled a mask. There was no doubt, it was the Riolu. Excitement began to bubble up in Tai as his hand went to a Pokeball at his belt. However, before he could react, someone else did. A blonde-haired girl leaped out of the bushes on the other side of the clearing, closely followed by a Vulpix.
Kera woke slowly, cringing away from something wet touching her cheek. She carefully opened her eyes, and immediately regretted it. The world was far too bright. It took her a few seconds to remember the events of the day before, and when she did, she groaned. How could she have been such a complete idiot? She shou-
Kera was jolted out of her thoughts when something slimy rubbed against her cheek. She sat up immediately, and her eyes shot open. The forest around her seemed strangely crowded. She sat on a patch of soft grass, and all around her were plants, small and large. These were different than the plants she was used to in the Demonic Plan, and far more abundant. Because of the general lack of sunlight, few plants thrived there. She stood carefully, still wondering what had touched her, when she heard a sharp bark from behind her. Startled, she whirled around.
The creature that had barked was cute, with large, orange brown eyes, pointed ears, and five orange tails. Its fur was thick and well kept, almost luxurious. Its head was cocked to one side, watching her expectantly. Kera scowled down at it.
“What? What do you want from me?” It continued to look up at her, its large eyes pitiful. Slowly, the former demon’s expression softened, and she crouched down and petted the tuft of orange fur on the top of its head.
“Pix!” It said happily. Kera grinned.
“I guess you’re kinda cute,” Kera replied as she stood up straight. She gave the fox one last look before turning, determined to find the dog creature that had stolen her powers. She had no idea how much time had passed, but she needed to get looking immediately. Finding a path through the plants, she set off down it.
As she walked, she grew uneasy. The trees were disturbing her. She’d never seen plants so big, and they towered over her, seeming enormous. She half expected the branches to reach down and try to grab her. Something else bothered her as well, though she couldn’t put her finger on it. Thinking for a few minutes, it finally came to her—the air. It was fresh, and smelled far cleaner than what she was used to, especially in the desert. The air smelled of plant life, and soil, a far cry from the acrid, dusty smell of the desert.
A yip from behind her made her jump, and nearly scream. She slowly turned, afraid, of what she’d see, and let out a sigh of relief. The fox thing sat behind her watching her. Kera’s relief gave way to irritation.
“Look, I don’t need you following me, okay?” She said, scowling down at it. “Just scamper on home.” She waved it away to emphasize her point. The fox reacted by getting to its feet and walking closer to her. Kera sighed and turned back around. Beginning to walk briskly, she cast a glance over her shoulder. The fox trotted along a few feet behind. She rolled her eyes and decided just to ignore it.
She walked for several hours, until the single sun shone high in the strange aqua sky. After the fight of the day before, she was quickly getting tired. She came upon a clearing, and at its center was a small pool. She sat down heavily next to it. She hadn’t seen any creatures at all, other than the fox that was still following her, and was beginning to get discouraged. She chanced a glance over to the still surface of the pond, and froze. The person looking back at her was someone she’d never seen before.
The girl in the pool had blonde hair, though the style was still the same as her own, and her eyes were a deep emerald. Thankfully, her clothing hadn’t changed. She still wore a black tank top with dark jeans that were ripped just below her knees.
Awestruck, Kera couldn’t take her eyes off her reflection. She’d heard that a demon looked different when their powers were stolen, but she hadn’t realized that the change would be that drastic.
The sound of a rustling bush jolted her out of her own thoughts. Not wanting to be seen by whatever was approaching, she quickly stood, grabbing hold of the fox that had been tailing her as she did. In a swift movement, she dove behind a broad leafed bush. She was just in time, too. Her eyes widened as the dog creature stepped cautiously from the undergrowth. It stayed still for several seconds, as though waiting to be attacked, and then slowly relaxed. It stepped quickly over to the pool, where it bent to drink. A dangerous smile crossed Kera’s lips, and a plan of action quickly formed in her mind. It wasn’t a great plan, but it was straight forward, and she didn’t like things complicated. She crouched, still watching the blue and black animal that had stolen her aura, and leaped for it. She didn’t see the fox following close behind her.
She again forgot the dog’s speed. He whirled when he heard the low plant she was hiding behind rustle, and was ready when she came flying at him, arms outstretched, hands poised to grab him. Instead, he aimed a punch for her arm, and hit it, hard. She cried out in pain and fell to one side, missing her target altogether. A low growl reverberated behind her, and followed by a sharp bark. She quickly sat up, and was surprised to see the fox. It was her that had growled. She had the dog cornered, with its back facing the pool. The fox advanced a step, and then glanced at Kera expectantly. She just looked back, confused.
“It’s waiting!” Kera started at the sound of another voice. Turning, she saw a young human, a boy. His blue eyes flashed angrily behind the strange glass and wire magnifying contraption that humans called ‘glasses’. “Shout out an attack!”
“What?” Kera asked back, startled and bewildered.
“An attack, a command, something! Tell the Vulpix what to do!” Kera’s gaze went back to the two creatures. She guessed that Vulpix was the name of her fox, but how the boy knew, she didn’t know. Still unsure of herself, she hesitated. The dog took the opportunity to strike. He leaped forward, startling Vulpix. One forepaw came up, like he was about to strike down, and Vulpix jumped away. However, she didn’t see that she was jumping into his other paw, this one glowing. Her mouth snapped shut with a ‘clack’ when it hit her jaw. She stumbled backwards, slightly dazed, and then shook the attack off. She began to growl yet again, but the dog didn’t look impressed.
Kera clenched her fists. She could have prevented that, if only she’d acted! But what was she supposed to say?
“Try Ember, or Quick Attack!” The suggestion came from the boy. She glanced at him and nodded. Swiftly, she shouted, “Vulpix! Ember!”
Vulpix seemed slightly surprised when Kera shouted, but then, much to the girl’s surprise, she nodded. She then planted her dark brown paws firmly, took a deep breath, and blew.
Flames flew from the fox’s maw, straight onto the dog, igniting his fur. He thrashed and batted at them, trying to put them out, but only succeed in losing his balance. He fell backward, luckily into the water. The flames went out with a gentle hiss.
The dog dragged himself back out of the pool, his fur heavy and waterlogged. His silver eyes seemed to glow with anger. This triggered the powers he had accidentally stolen from Kera. As he grew more and more mad, his body began to heat up. The water in his fur began to evaporate, turning to mist around his body. Kera needed to act fast, before he could regroup and attack.
“What other commands can I give?” Kera said quickly to the boy. He had been watching the dog, startled by what it could do, then shook his head.
“Confuse Ray, Fire Spin, and, and…” He trailed off, thinking, before finally concluding with, “and Extrasensory. Other than that, I don’t…” Kera was no longer listening to him. Trying to guess what might happen with each attack, she finally chose one.
“Okay, Vulpix, Confuse Ray!” The fox again opened her mouth, but was too late. The dog was ready. He leaped out of the mist created by his body heating up, forepaws thrust forward to attack. They struck Vulpix, hitting mostly her side as she turned away from the attack. He ended it with a kick, causing her to sprawl backwards while he landed nimbly. Though sore and most likely bruised, Vulpix wasn’t out yet. She stood slowly, and a little shakily.
“Fire Spin, Vulpix,” Kera called out, hoping she’d made a good choice. Vulpix took a quick breath, and then opened her mouth. Flames poured out, spiraling upward to create a vortex of fire and embers. In her weakened state, she could only make it reach a few feet high, but it was enough. The dog’s eyes widened as the tornado came down on him from above. He disappeared in the flames. Kera grinned, sure that they’d won, and Vulpix began to relax. However, both had assumed too much, and a call rang through the clearing and the forest beyond.
“Riolu!” The dog’s fist smashed through the wall of the vortex, with the rest of his body behind it. As the flames dissipated, Kera saw that the dog’s paw was ignited as well. He noticed it as well, and panicked, then finally stuck the fiery paw into the pool. Unnerved, he left it there, as though afraid the paw might ignite again. He thought it had been caught on fire by the attack, but Kera knew different. It was her powers, becoming more outgoing within the dog creature. It was only a matter of time before they got out of control, and consumed him.
“Quick Attack, Vulpix!” She cried quickly. Vulpix, ready for the call, sprang forward. Her front paws hit the dog’s back, pushing it all the way into the water and the squishy mud beneath. It was then that she realized she was unable to stop. Her momentum carried her forward, forcing her to leap out off the dog’s back completely… And into the deeper water. She gave a strangled yelp as she fell in, only to be cut off as the water went above her head.
“Vulpix!” Kera cried, stricken, as the fox fell into the water. Without thinking, she waded into the pool. Feeling around with her hands, she finally felt fur, and pulled upward. Vulpix came put with a wet ‘plop’, and water spilled from her fur back into the pool. Kera held her tight, ignoring the dampness. It suddenly surprised her how quickly she’d become attached to it.
The dog had already climbed out of the water as Kera began to as well, still clutching the sodden Vulpix. He tried to run, hoping to escape, but was forced to stop as a small green and red form leaped in front of him, blocking his path. With a low growl, he recognized it as the Treecko he had fought earlier that day. The boy, too, stepped between him and the safety of the woods.
“We’ll take over the fight,” he said confidently.
Tai wasn’t as confident as he sounded. The Riolu’s strange powers confused him, but he couldn’t let him escape. Not after all the work he’d done to track him down, and the time the girl and her Vulpix had spent battling him.
Tai glanced up at the girl, climbing out of the pool with her Vulpix. She seemed to know next to nothing about battling. How she’d gotten this far, he’d never know. She was just another mystery to add to the list of the day’s strange happenings. Once more turning his gaze to the Riolu, he started the battle.
“Slam, Treecko!” The gecko took a single step back, and then propelled himself forward. The Riolu was ready, though, and dodged. Treecko had expected the dodge, and spun, whirling his tails out. They met the Riolu in the stomach, forcing the air out of his lungs in a low ‘whoosh’. The Riolu fell backwards, gasping for breath, and Treecko grinned.
“Agility,” said Tai, not missing a beat. Treecko nodded and began to run. As Riolu shakily climbed to his feet, Treecko simply ran circles around him, gaining speed. He didn’t slow or stop, though he kept glancing at Tai, as though expecting something. Finally, Tai grinned.
“Now, use Pound!” Treecko leaped into the air, angling down at Riolu. The jackal Pokemon didn’t have the time to dodge, but he had time to do something else. He waited, and, just as Treecko’s attack was about to hit, jumped into it, fist upwards. Treecko let out a gasp of pain as the Riolu’s Counter connected with his red stomach, and cringed. He fell away and hit the ground, even as the Riolu continued upwards. The dog landed on the ground again as Treecko climbed back to his feet. Tai watched him worriedly. Already, he was getting hurt…
“Let’s finish this, Treecko,” Tai called. “Can you use the combo?” Treecko only nodded before he was moving again.
Treecko ran forward, moving swiftly in the beginning of a Quick Attack. However, he passed Riolu completely, causing the other Pokemon to watch him curiously. Treecko didn’t slow, only began to turn. As he did, he held his paws close to one another. A sphere of light, an Energy Ball, began to form between them. When it stopped growing, Treecko released it. It shot out of his paws, colliding with Riolu. On impact, the dog Pokemon skidded back a few inches, but the damage wasn’t substantial. However, it was only a distraction. He didn’t realize Treecko was still running at him until it was too late.
Treecko slowed, not intending on hitting the Riolu this time. Instead, he raised his arms outward. Tendrils of energy snaked out of them, wrapping around the Riolu, binding him and sapping his strength with Giga Drain. Treecko then brought the tendrils back into himself, and Riolu fell, completely and totally exhausted.
Kera had watched the whole battle, waiting for this moment. And, with that last, surreal attack, the dog was finally knocked out. Now was her chance. With Vulpix lying on the ground, drying and regaining her strength, she ran to the dog’s side. Gently, she laid her hands on its chest and closed her eyes. There was little more she needed to do—the rest was instinctual. She took a deep breath, drawing the warm energy that was her demonic aura from the dog creature, and breathing it in for herself. Had she opened her eyes, she would have seen the faint red mist that passed between the dog and herself. As it was, only Tai and Treecko saw it, and both were astonished.
As the red mist was drawn into her, her hair slowly changed. It began at the roots, turning black as it crept along each strand, until it reached the ends, which turned fiery red. As it did, other changes occurred. Her ears moved upward, growing into the pointed ears of a wolf, black with a vertical stripe of silver down its center. A tail grew as well, long but furry, with a ring of silver through the black. Finally, the last of the mist was breathed into her. She straightened, and opened her eyes. They were brilliant silver.
“Wh-what did you do?” Tai managed to ask. “You didn’t… Did you…” He couldn’t finish the sentence, and only swallowed nervously.
“Kill it?” Her voice, more confident, was lightly amused. “No. You can do what you want with it.” She stood and walked gracefully over to the Vulpix, which she scooped into her arms. Tai blinked, and then shook his head. He took the Pokeball in his hand, pressed the center button to enlargen it, and tossed it. Kera heard a strange noise, one that sounded something similar to electricity, and turned, in time to see red light pour from the ball, envelop the dog, and pull it in. The sphere fell to the ground and gently rocked back and forth…
Going For: Riolu
Length Needed: 30-40k
Actual Length: 35,257 with spaces
Note: This is for the Winter Comp, so a grade as soon as possible would be great, so I can make changes if needed.
12-26-2007, 08:36 PM
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: *Smacks with Zanpakuto* STALKER!
Re: Demonic Aura [Winter Competition]
Plot/Introducton: A Demon from a plane other than our own is battling another Demon, who ends up stealing two mystic items to try and make himself more powerful. In the end, he seperates his foe's "aura" from her body and casts it into the Human realm, into which our heroine must follow if she wants her aura back.
After managing to snag back one of the items her foe stole, our aura-less Demon leaps after her little wolfy-aura, only to see it get sucked up by a stray Riolu. If she wants to get her aura back (and thus continue living), she has to knock out the little Pokemon. This proves easier said than done, however, as she's knocked out herself by it.
A hunt ensues, a random Vulpix begins following our Demon, and she finds the Riolu that "took" her aura. A battle takes place, in which the Demon is helped out by a stray Trainer who tells her how to command Vulpix. After a small battle, the boy and his Treecko take over and KO the Riolu. The Demon gets her aura back, the boy gets his Riolu.
Original, I must say. I like the whole Demonic Plane thing, it was a nice idea.
The introduction was great. Within the first couple of sentences you grab your readers' attention and reel them in for the long haul. No better way to keep your audience reading than starting things off with a fight XD. You getz a Pass on these parts.
Length: At a little over 35k, you've got a very good length for a blue dog-fighting thingy. Pass.
Detail: You gave very good visual details of all the important stuff, but I would have liked to have seen more in the way of what your characters heard, felt, etc. Sometimes it's hard to work all that stuff in, especially if it feels like you're overwhemling your readers. Remember though, that there are very few times when it's too much detail, and a lot of times when it's too little. Pass.
Still, it was very well-done. I like how you described some of the attacks, like the Fire Spin. Very nice, and so j00 getz a Pass lol.
Grammar/Spelling: I saw an error or two, but can't remember where XD. Very, VERY good job on this part. Pass.
Battle: I liked the battle. Poor Kera had no idea what to do, heh. What I liked most was that it wasn't one-sided; even though Vulpix would easily beat a Riolu, her Fire attacks didn't OHKO it or anything. You even had another Pokemon (Treecko) come in to finish the battle, and made it last a decent amount of time. I also liked the range of attacks you used, instead of the same one over and over again. Pass for certain.
Outcome: All in all, very nice little story. What more can I say, other than Riolu Captured! Have fun with the steel doggy!
Last edited by Dog of Hellsing; 12-27-2007 at 12:07 AM.
12-27-2007, 01:21 AM
Re: Demonic Aura [Winter Competition]
Thank you SO much! I didn't expect to get it graded this soon.
Thanks a lot for all the encouragement, and in the future, I'll try to work more on the details other than those of the visual variety. I seem to have trouble incorporating that. XP
Anyway, thanks again for the grade. And, for anyone reading this, I do intend to write more besides this ending to the capture.
The ball shuddered to a halt, and the outcome was evident. The Riolu had been captured. Almost reluctantly, Tai scooped the ball up from the grassy ground, trampled flat by the battle. He then turned to the girl, the girl who had changed before his eyes into something he was sure wasn't human.
"What was that?" She asked, her former confidence dwindling. “What did you just do?”
“I could ask the same of you,” Tai said back. “What in the heck are you? And what did you do to that Riolu? It looked like you were sucking out its soul or something.” Cliché though it sounded, Tai had to say it. He could come up with no other explanation of what had just happened. The girl’s curious expression was quickly replaced by a glare.
“That’s none of your business, human.” Without saying another word, she let the Vulpix down on the ground, turned, and stepped through the bushes, disappearing into the darkness of the forest, the Vulpix hurrying behind her. Tai looked down at Treecko, who watched his trainer expectantly. Tai nodded, and the gecko was off into the trees, with the boy not far behind.
The girl’s trail was easy to follow. Tai had a little experience in tracking, as it was a mandatory class at the school where he had first learned the essentials of Pokemon training. Every trainer needed to know how to track a Pokemon if they wanted to catch any, aside from depending completely on luck. The girl had no idea of how to cover her tracks, or she didn’t think that she would be followed. Either way, there were plenty of broken twigs, bent bushes, and footprints for him and Treecko to follow.
Finally, the trail led to a large tree. It was here that the girl had stopped, preparing to do… Something. Tai watched from behind a tree with interest as she pulled an object of red leather from her pocket. The Vulpix had, almost surprisingly, followed her obediently, and stood next to a large protruding root. As the girl pulled the red leather over her hand, Tai could see that it was a glove, but one unlike any he’s ever seen. On the back of her palm was a huge ruby, connected to diamonds on the tips of her fingers by lines of golden thread. She tapped the ruby, and lines of light shot across the thread to meet the diamonds. They extended, creating crystal claws that glimmered even in the scant sunlight of the woods. Tai stifled a gasp. How had she done that? Where had the claws come from? What seemed like millions of questions ran through his mind, but he shoved them all back. He’d try to find answers for them later.
He watched as the girl slashed out with those claws, seemingly at nothing. They caught and tore at the air, as if it was a curtain, behind which was darkness. Without a glance back, the girl leaped through, a vengeful grin crossing her face. Like a faithful puppy, the Vulpix followed.
Tai instantly knew what he needed to do, stupid though it was. He ran out from behind the tree, not slowing as Treecko nimbly landed on his shoulder. The two leaped through the portal, into the unknown, and it melted shut behind him.
Last edited by Draconic_Espeon; 12-30-2007 at 05:34 PM.
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
All times are GMT. The time now is 02:37 PM.