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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 05-07-2008, 04:36 PM
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Default The Deathly Hallows (One-Shot)

Ah, this was written for the Fan Fiction Challenge on the PokčCommunity.

Prompt: Death

Tell me, my readers, have you ever thought of what death is? When your organs stop working, your brain stops functioning, you die. Your body begins to decay about three days after you become categorised as deceased. But what happens to your mind and your soul? What follows is a legend passed on throughout the Pokčmon world, known as Death and his Deathly Hallows.

Three Pokčmon trainers were wondering Viridian forest at twilight, or midnight, if you want the story to be slightly more spooky. They were brothers, the Oak brothers. The oldest was Robert, the one in the middle was Malcolm and the youngest was Edward. These three trainers had decided to journey together and had their sight set on the Pewter City Gym Badge. They were tired, as they had been travelling for the past six hours. Edward attempted to tell some jokes to lighten the sombre mood but was snapped at five minutes later so he gave up.

Bored yet, my readers? Thinking this is just another Pokčmon fan fiction in which they conquer Pewter City Gym and set out to be the world’s greatest Pokčmon masters? Never fear, my friends, for Oni Raichu enjoys throwing twists in his tales, and this is a one-shot that he can quench his thirst with. You see, my friends, this is the part where the Oak brothers encounter the one we call Death. He was not as scary as he is made out to be in common folklore, or so the Oak brothers have told us. They cannot quite describe him, only saying that he is as fearsome as a tsunami but at the same time, he is the calm of the storm. When in his presence, you do not feel scared nor do you feel happy, a numbness creeps over your bones and your brain seems to go to sleep, but stay conscious at the same time. Malcolm was the only one that was able to give some sort of physical description of Death, saying that he was shrouded by a black cape, or mystery and that his face was covered by a mask, or secrets and lies. He held a weapon responsible for all deaths in this world; a scythe, yet its blow had never been dealt to anyone.

The three trainers, not sure if they had fallen into some crazy dream, summoned their Pokčmon. For Robert, a Riolu that went by the nickname of Tempa appeared from a flash of red. Malcolm got his Pidgey he called Polo and Edward threw his red and white sphere into the air for a Chikorita known as Peggy to materialise. Instantly, the three trainers issued attacks for their loyal soldiers, but Death raised a hand, or raised the weighing scales of justice, rather, which told them without speaking to cease their fighting, which they did.

Death had no interest whatsoever in the three boy’s lives, stating that the time was not right. Instead, he gave them each one gift that they were to use wisely and pass onto the right people. The first give, which he gave to Edward, was the Cloak of Invisibility. If worn, it would render the wearer unseen and would protect it from any Pokčmon attack. Malcolm was given the Resurrection Stone, an object that would bring any fainted Pokčmon back to full health. Death studied Robert before handing him a golden Pokč Ball he called the Elder Ball. The Pokčmon caught in it would be stronger than any other Pokčmon, including legendaries.

And that, my readers, is the tale of Death and his Deathly Hallows. So, tell me, would you take such gifts or would you turn them down? Afraid of the trouble and strife they could bring upon the innocent planet we live on? Of course, in older, rarer versions of the legend, it is said that in the brothers’ later years, the Resurrection Stone was broken by Malcolm, who feared that people would try to take it off him. It is said he left it in the outskirts of Celadon City somewhere, hoping no one would find it. Robert ended up killing himself and having the Elder Ball buried with him, thinking that people were going to kill him in order to obtain it. Robert figured that killing himself was the wisest thing possible, and it was established that he had hanged himself after a post-mortem on the body. Of course, the death having been in the olden days, we cannot be sure of how reliable that post-mortem was, but without any knowledge as to where the decayed body is today, we will never know. Assuming that the people weren’t just made up for the legend, of course. Edward lived a happy life, with no trouble or strife and when Death came to meet him, he accepted his exit from this world the way everyone should.

Was there a moral in this tale, my friends? It is said that Malcolm and Robert were not the best of friends to some people while Edward was nice to everyone later on in life. Was this some sort of lesson Death decided to teach the three brothers? We may never know. That was the tale of Death and his Deathly Hallows, I hope you gained something other than enjoyment from it.
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  #2  
Old 05-07-2008, 09:27 PM
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Default Re: The Deathly Hallows (One-Shot)

That was amazing! I just was blown away from it!
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Old 05-09-2008, 04:58 PM
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Default Re: The Deathly Hallows (One-Shot)

I notice a striking resemblance between a certain Oni Raichu and a Joanne Rowling.

Nevertheless, it's curiously written, and unusually done. Not that's it's bad, just unusual. It has a nice sort of touch to it, but I feel it's tad...how should I put it? Bland.

Perhaps, if you were to add more narrative, rather than keeping it as merely a summary, it might make the whole story a bit more interesting.

Cheers,

Deathspector
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Old 05-09-2008, 10:19 PM
S Jenkins Offline
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Default Re: The Deathly Hallows (One-Shot)

Nice job at the story, I think it was pretty good.
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