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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.


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  #1  
Old 06-04-2008, 02:45 AM
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Default Campfire Stories: The Academy

I was going to have someone else story deal this for me, but it never happened. So to my dismay, I am delaying The Swarms of Ahktar to work on this still rather short story. Btw, hawk has a translator; therefore, he can understand Pokémon.

Brother

“This desert is soooo hot,” complained a small gray creature with maroon legs.

“Don’t worry Laeluh,” said a teenage boy, his sand-blown clothing rippling across his body, “It’s almost night, then we can set up camp.”

“Let’s set up camp soon,” stated a large yellow creature with a long mustache, “The Medicham is tired.”

This group had set out from an old lady’s house farther back in the desert. They were currently trekking toward a place in the Ahktar Desert called the Oasis Column, which led to the underwater caves laced throughout the Ahktar Desert. If their information was correct, they could find The Swarm’s hive in those caves. They intended to stop its killing spree.

“Patience, Konda,” said Hawk as he eyed the Alakazam’s protective titanium armor, “The more distance we cover now, the safer we are from The Swarm.”

“Oh, come now, Hawk,” chuckled Konda, uncharacteristically, “Why must you be so paranoid of The Swarm? We haven’t even neared the Oasis Column. There shouldn’t even be a swarm within miles!”

Hawk stared across the desert, eyeing the towering dunes, and minimal shrubbery. In the distance, he saw several dust devils. He closed his eyes as a gust of sand-ridden wind violated his moist eyes.

“Oh yeah? Well that’s what Comet said when she went to help Laeluh and Nathan,” said Hawk, a tear running down his cheek.

Comet was Hawk’s Ledian. A Ledian was a human-size Pokémon with four arms and compound eye lenses. She resembled a large ladybug. While Hawk was on his journey to the Ahktar Desert, Comet informed him that there was peril in the forest. He told her to help and he would arrive soon. As he journeyed through the forest, Comet was assisting Laeluh and Nathan, her brother, through the forest to rendezvous with Hawk. On the way, they were assaulted by a swarm. The swarm almost suffocated Laeluh, broke Nathan’s ribs, and took Comet’s life.

The Swarm was one sentient mind, spread across millions of trillions of entities, a hive mind if you will. They were made up of tiny nanobots attached to natural basic proteins. The proteins acted as an assembler, and could build anything in existence with such access to small particles. The Swarm had one specific trait, and that was its ability to invade a targets body, and push it to its full potential. For example, if The Swarm invaded a Tangela, it would turn into a super powerful Tangrowth. The Swarm was a predator. Its purpose is to hunt everything in existence.

“Well, I’m so sahwy I hurt the witto boy’s feewings,” sobbed Konda sarcastically.

“Oh, no. I won’t have you making fun of me you tech nerd,” shouted Hawk, “Go, Ordario!”

Out of Hawk’s Pokéball emerged an enormous blue alligator. He stood on two legs, freeing his muscular upper arms. His belly was free of scales, and was a tan color. On his back, was a series of vivid red sail-like ridges. Across his face and back, were countless scars from his many battles, particularly noticeable was a scar running from the crest of his head to his right eyelid, a memento of a fight he had with a Mankey that was enclosed in a Pokéball no more than fifteen feet away from him.

“This won’t last nearly as long as last time,” chuckled Konda.

Hawk thought back to when they first met. He had challenged him because he had been insulted. Konda used his Psychic blades and slashed Ordario’s hamstrings, spraying blood everywhere. He couldn’t walk for a month.

From off of his waists, Konda removed two pewter spoons. His eyes glowed a bright blue, and from the spoons grew large, three foot long blades of pure, bright blue, energy.

Hawk eyed Konda’s formidable psychic blades as he said, “Well that’s cool, but check this out. Ice Mastery!”

Ice crystals spawned from the Feraligatr’s fists. Ordario slammed his hands together, slowly pulling them apart revealing a large pole of ice. Once the pull was six feet long, Ordario formed a large spiked ball on the tip, effectively forming a mace made of ice.

“Now, Ordario,” shouted Hawk, “Gator-Chain Mark Two: Ice Style!”

Ordario roared as clouds of red and black mist rose from his feet as he used a Dragon Dance attack. Small, blue pulses of lightning rippled across his huge muscles.

“Initiate Phase One!” shouted Hawk.

Ordario vanished. He completely and utterly disappeared into nothing. Konda was astonished and taken aback. He never knew something so bulky was capable of such incredible speeds.

Konda was aware though. Being a Psychic Pokémon, he could sense where Ordario was, but the more he knew where he was, the less he knew of his speed and the more he knew of his speed, the less he knew of his location.

Konda finally pinpointed a location just in time. He swung around quickly and sighted Ordario materializing in the air, his mace held high over his head. Konda got his swords up just in time as Ordario swung the mace down with a force of 690,000 PSI.

Konda’s psychic blades immediately shattered, his spoons flying off somewhere to his left. Ordario dropped his ice mace, quickly forming two daggers made of ice, holding them like scissors to Konda’s neck.

“You have no idea how much I would like to end your life right now,” growled Ordario in a low tone.

Konda stared nervously at the blades and said, “Save it, Ordario. You need me to stop The Swarm. Psychic energy is one of the few things able to stop something so small. Once that is accomplished, we can fight again.”

“You’re lucky I’m not in a bad mood,” growled Ordario in a raspy, gruff voice, “I would have snapped you in two.”

As Konda picked up his spoons, he heard a faint sound. It was barely audible, as if it was just in the distant recesses of his mind, but it was there. He spun around multiple times looking for the source. Then it got louder. It was a loud beat, like a bass on a stereo.

It was the sound of his own heart beating.

He examined the sound thoroughly. It was as if some cruel thing was trying to hunt him, mimicking its prey so that it was unexpected. Konda glanced over at Ordario, and saw him swatting the air around his head. He stole a quick glance over at Laeluh and Hawk. Laeluh was plugging her ears and Hawk had put two fingers on his neck, feeling for a pulse.

Then it hit him.

“The Swarm!” shouted Hawk and Konda simultaneously.

Ordario immediately ceased swatting the air around his head, and formed two ice maces for each hand. Hawk nervously handled one of his six Pokéballs, wondering if the use was necessary.

From the east, the group saw a cloud of black. It moved rapidly toward their position, waves of silver streaking across their black column. The beat was so loud now; it completely matched their own so that it was barely noticeable.

The cloud of nanobots reared up in front of them, slowly forming into a Rhydon, the common form of The Swarm. Black turned to gray as the cloud formed into rocky skin, forming a six foot tall armored body with a heavy tail. A horn formed on the snout of this rock-lizard, and spun around several times, simulating the actions of a drill.

The Rhydon charged at Konda. He immediately activated his spoons, shooting three foot long blades of energy across his frail, armored body, protecting himself from the incredible force of the charge.

Konda’s feet dug into the said as he was shoved backwards by the berserk dinosaur. On his left peripheral, he saw the familiar black and red mist clouds around Ordario. Ordario vanished and appeared fifteen feet above the Rhydon, maces reared above his head.

The Rhydon immediately pivoted, raising his hand up to Ordario, but the alligator just smiled as he disappeared once more.

He reappeared behind the Rhydon, swinging his maces down. He came down with so much force, the Rhydon’s head exploded. Black nanobots flew in every direction, shorted out from the intense force that could shatter titanium like glass. Ordario landed in front of the headless dinosaur and stared at its neck which was bleeding black dust. He pivoted, bringing his maces across his body decimating the rest of the Rhydon’s body.

The black particles lay motionless on the desert floor, piling into small mounds.

Konda grunted, “You were right, Hawk. We need to leave now!”

Everyone grabbed onto Konda, be it his arms or shoulders. Konda’s eyes glowed blue and they all vanished into nothing, teleporting to an unknown location.

Seventy miles away, they set up camp by a small desert bush. They lit a fire and all sat around, pondering their fate once they truly confronted The Swarm. The desert wind calmly tugged at Hawk’s dirty blonde, matted down hair. He had not washed it in several weeks since they left on their journey.

“I have an idea,” exclaimed Ordario, trying to lighten the mood, “Let’s tell camp fire stories!”

“Sounds like a good idea,” said Konda, “Let’s give it a go.”

“So, Laeluh,” said Hawk, “Tell us how you and Nathan became alone, without parents.”

“Well,” replied Laeluh, unaffected by the emotional question, “It all happened when the poachers came to the forest…”
__________________
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PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 11-21-2008 at 10:45 PM.
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  #2  
Old 06-04-2008, 02:48 AM
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: Brother

continued...

“Stephanie,” grunted a light blue lizard, “Have you seen Methuselah?”

“I have no idea, Matthias,” replied a small white creature that looked like a snow-covered tree, “He disappeared last night.”

Matthias stared at his best friend, Stephanie, a Snover, thinking about what they had gone through. Stephanie was his wife’s, a Medicham, best friend. His wife was captured a month ago by a poacher. He was worried of his brother, too. If any Pokémon went missing in the forest, capture was expected.

Matthias though of his children, a female Meditite and a male Machop he was leaving at the cave. He ran his hand over the three fins on his head, contemplating his actions. As a Machop, he was obligated to protect his friends, and his brother definitely classified as his friend, even though they often fought and bad blood ran between them. His obligation as a father, though, to stay with his children tugged back on him.

He finally made a decision, to go and save his brother from whatever trouble he was in, then rush back to his kids.


“Whoa, wait a minute,” said Hawk, “You’re telling me your own dad abandoned you?”

“Don’t jump to conclusions,” responded Laeluh, “Father and Uncle were very close. They fought often with hurtful intentions, but sharing a mother bound them to each other. He had to go. Anyway, before I was interrupted…”

“Stephanie, do you think the poachers could have taken Methuselah?” asked Matthias.

“It is highly possible,” pondered the Snover, “We must continue on, though, to discover more and possibly save your brother.”

The two Pokémon walked down a forest path littered with leaves. They were walled in by trees on either side, and the air was totally silent, and tasted fresh in their mouths. The leaves above them were a vibrant green, and shed their glow across everything that trod below them. The trees were strangled by ivy, crawling up the roots and hanging down the branches like vines.

To their left, they heard a slight rustle in the bushes. Going with their wild Pokémon training, they blended with their surroundings. Stephanie straightened up against a tree, camouflaging with her surroundings. Matthias eased himself into a bush on the right side of the trail and waited.

A human burst out of the bushes, swearing horrible words.

The ensuing sight scarred Matthias for the rest of his life.

Following the uncleanly dressed human was a Machop; a Machop Matthias had known his entire existence. Standing in the middle of the dirt path was Matthias’ brother, Methuselah. Methuselah had the forlorn look of a Pokémon caught against its will and forced into service, but whatever his trainer commanded, Methuselah had to do.

Matthias stared up at the hated human in the trail. He was fat and ugly to put it simply. He had a two inch long goatee extending from his chin and crumbs were tangled in the hairy bramble. His teeth were yellow and in need of braces, and he had horrible acne riddling his chubby face. He had an olive green backpack with who knows what inside. On his belt, were six horrible devices, red and white in color, that were used to steal a fellow Pokémon’s freedom.

Methuselah stared sadly into the bushes at Matthias, obviously aware that his sibling was hiding. The poacher obviously recognized that too and shouted for Methuselah to get him.

All the sorrow left Methuselah’s eyes and they were filled with the thrill of the hunt. His fists lit up with a bright white light, and the surrounding air rose to extremely high temperatures. Matthias recognized Methuselah’s favorite attack, and prepared a counter attack.

Methuselah lunged toward the bush, the leaves burning from the heat of the Dynamic Punch. Matthias jumped too, his own right fist ablaze with the glow his brother’s favorite attack. The two fists collided in a cataclysmic explosion. Plumes of fire erupted from the point of contact and billowed out from the two like a pot of boiling macaroni.

The explosion settled, and the two were staring each other down in the center of the path. Methuselah’s fist lit up in another Dynamic Punch. Matthias analyzed the situation, and jumped high into the air. He grabbed a hold of one of the hanging ivy vines, and using his strong muscles, pulled himself into the tree.

He jumped to a different tree, eyeing Methuselah sneakily. Methuselah looked around and around, but still couldn’t sight his crafty brother.

Matthias scolded himself as he prepared for the dishonorable surprise attack. His fist lit up in the glow of a Dynamic Punch. He dove headfirst out of the tree, roaring in anger as he hurtled toward his brother.

His fist made solid contact on Methuselah’s face as he yelled, “DETONATE!”

The glowing energy immediately left his fist and made an enormous eruption of light and fire. The familiar flames boiled outwards from the point of impact, singeing the grass and bushes, and lighting the ivy on fire.

Stephanie was quick to stop the fire with a few Ice Beam attacks.

When the explosion set, Methuselah was slumped against a tree, burned from the contact. Matthias was barely harmed, his attack being more refined.

He took a quick glance at Methuselah, and then nodded white patch on a nearby tree. Matthias and Stephanie dashed down the path, running away from the fury of the poacher.

After six hours of non-stop sprinting, the two Pokémon stopped at a familiar cliff on the east side of the forest.

“I don’t know what to do anymore!” shouted Matthias in despair.

“It’s okay,” cooed Stephanie, “We’ll find a way. We’ll find a way.”

The two reclined on a bed of dead, yellow grass, falling to sleep in the cool, gentle, evening breeze of the forest.

They awoke to the crackling sound of a fire. Matthias jumped up from his slumber and looked around him. All of the trees surrounding the clearing where they had rested were ablaze. The roar of the burning inferno deafened Matthias as he stared about, looking for the cause of the blaze.

Several yards to his left, the poacher that had captured Methuselah emerged from the blaze twirling a lit torch in his hand. Behind him, was Methuselah. He didn’t look like he was ready to offer any mercy, for his eyes were filled with the Bloodwrath.

Every fighting type Pokémon, when angered beyond his or her limits, is filled with an ancient power known as the Bloodwrath. The Pokémon’s eyes are glazed over and everything they see is tinted red. Their strength is increased twenty-fold and their awareness is also heightened.

He steeped out in front of Matthias, his crimson eyes tearing into his conscience.

“My trainer has ordered me to dispatch you,” growled Methuselah.

“Good luck,” laughed Matthias, “You could never beat me in a battle.”

“This time will be different, Brother,” chuckled Methuselah in response, “I have unlocked my inner Bloodwrath. You have no chance.”

A loud noise was heard, and a blast of snow roared from the cliff and collided squarely with Methuselah. He flew into a nearby tree. As he crushed through the tree, blazing embers rained on his body. This further enraged him. He picked up two handfuls of embers in his hands, enduring the pain, and concealing them from sight.

“My, my,” said Methuselah, “Have we resorted to dirty tactics already?”

“That wasn’t dirty,” shouted the snow-covered tree, “You are setting our forest on fire.”

“Well, you know how I like setting plants on fire…”

Methuselah threw both of his arms forward, releasing the coals. They showered Stephanie, and set her body on fire. She howled in pain as she released a massive ball of green energy at Methuselah. The Energy Ball collided into Methuselah square in the chest, cracking several ribs. Methuselah refused to fall, though. He slid backwards on the ground, his feet digging into the soft earth. Using his tremendous strength, he pushed the Energy Ball back at Stephanie. Once it made contact, her body burst into intense flames as she howled in agony.

She was in an outrage now. She charged recklessly at Methuselah, preparing her mighty Wood Hammer attack. She struck him, and sent him flying into a cliff. He rebounded and landed face first on the ground, breaking his nose with a sickening crack. As he got up, he was crushed by rocks broken loose from the cliff.

Stephanie was finally affected by the intense, burning pain. She roared in agony as she rolled on the ground several times before she went unconscious.

“Hehehe,” chuckled the poacher, “One Snover please. Hehehehe.”

He reached for one of the red and white spheres on his belt and threw it at the Snover.

Matthias glanced away from the sight at Methuselah under the rocks, his eyes slowly glazing over red.

“You…you…You’re my brother. How could you do this!?!”

“You had it coming Matthias,” shouted Methuselah, as he slowly tried to push free from the rocks. “You were always ‘Superior’ but I’ll tell you now, you’re not! I will take your freedom forever, and then this poacher will release me.”

“Oh, you are going to get it you little Rattata sniffer.”

Matthias picked up a nearby rock, and tossed it at a tree, knocking down a thick bough. He lit the tip of the bough on fire as he flashed it back and forth across Methuselah’s face. Methuselah lunged in with a Karate Chop. Matthias parried and dodged the attack then whacked Methuselah across the head with a Strength attack. The flaming stick exploded over his head, sending charcoals flying across the glade.

Methuselah’s eyes were now solid red with anger. He jumped at Matthias, crossing his arms in a Cross Chop attack. He struck Matthias on his eyes, striking a critical hit as he recoiled in pain. As Matthias doubled back in pain, Methuselah dropped to the ground and spun on his hands, striking Matthias in the groin with a Low Kick attack.

Matthias was now so angered, he felt no pain. Matthias rushed Methuselah, punching him in the ribs, hearing several satisfying cracks. He grabbed his skull in both hands, and brought it down hard over his knees, hearing yet another crack. His Revenge attack had done massive damage.

Just as he was about to plant a Dynamic Punch in Methuselah’s face, Methuselah grabbed his left fist, twisting it and instantly snapping it out of the socket. The Counter attack neutralized the threat as he rolled out of the hold and stood staring Matthias.

Methuselah eyed the damage he had done. Matthias’ left wrist was contorted into an impossible shape his eyes were bloodshot and bleeding. Matthias was more satisfied with his damage. Methuselah was breathing heavily, and a bulge was seen coming from his chest, most likely a near compound fracture. There was a large spot spewing blood on the middle of his forehead and his nose was bent to the side, a torrent of blood gushing out.

“Oh, there’s more, Methuselah!” shouted Matthias.

“Show me what you’ve got, Matthias!”

Matthias’ and Methuselah’s fists both lit up in preparation for the Dynamic Punch. Methuselah’s free fist was engulfed in flames as a Fire Punch, and Matthias’ free fist was surrounded in a webbing of lighting as a Thunder Punch.

The two lunged at each other, screaming in anger. Their fists met, exploding in the roiling flames of the Dynamic Punch. Methuselah immediately came in using his flaming fist and launched Matthias ten yards backward.

Matthias got up, his stomach charred and his fist pulsing with lightning. He pointed his hand at Methuselah, channeling the Thunder Punch through the air. An arc of lighting soared at Methuselah and hit him in the chest. He lay on the ground, writhing in pain.

Matthias stepped over him, his face cast in the shadows of the flames.

“It’s over, I win.”

“No. No it’s not over!” laughed Methuselah maniacally as he was engulfed in a white light.

Matthias backed up in fear as Methuselah stood upright, his white glowing body growing taller and wider.

The light cleared, and in front of Matthias stood a Machoke. He looked just like a Machop, but it as taller, a darker shade of blue, and red veins were visible lining his biceps. He wore black underwear and had a large belt on his waists.

Methuselah chuckled, “What now, brother? It’s over.”

Mathias launched a double Thunder Punch at his brother, the arcing lightning pulsing through his body, stopping and starting his heart in the same instant.

Methuselah shrugged it off, and prepared a Dynamic Punch. Matthias started running, but the energy of the punch pulled him to Methuselah like a magnet. Methuselah kicked him over so Matthias was lying in between Methuselah’s legs.

“Stop, Methuselah!”


“So what happened?” asked Hawk.

“Have patience, human. I’m nearing the end,” groaned Laeluh.

Methuselah stared down a Matthias, his fist igniting the air around them with intense heat.

A nearby tree fell down from the fire, startling Matthias.

“I’m sorry Matthias…” said Methuselah.

“Don’t do this, Brother…”


_______-----------------_______

If Methuselah uses the punch on Matthias, it’s a no capture. If he doesn’t punch him, it’s a capture.

Targets: Snover and Machop
Difficulty level: Medium and Simple respectively.
CH needed: 15,000
CH have: 22,100
Status: Ready for Grade

I'm ready for re-grade Jr. Sorry about other thread, but I added on enough to warrant two posts.
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PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead
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  #3  
Old 06-06-2008, 04:55 PM
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: Brother

Re-gradeeee:
This story still lacked the "making-sense" part since I didn't see anything really connecting together at all.... really. But you did add a good amount of description and the battle is a tiny bit bigger. Just make sure you really make everything - even smaller things - very well described so that they can be seen since sometimes they are more important than they seem to be drawn out to be.

Don't forget to make the battle a bit longer when you're aiming for higher things in writing. Other than that this story has improved a great deal. So I can say that...

Snover is now captured!
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  #4  
Old 10-22-2008, 09:57 PM
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: Brother

Last time on Campfire stories… Hawk, Laeluh the Medicham, and Konda the Alakazam were questing across the Ahktar desert in search of the hive of the mysterious swarm. While walking, they encountered the swarm. After an intense fight, they stalled it enough to teleport away to an unknown location. There, they sat around a camp fire and told each other stories of their past.

Hawk has a translator so he can understand Pokémon.

Initiation

“Wow,” said Hawk, “I can’t believe your brother disobeyed his trainer and didn’t kill your father.”

Laeluh stared back at the boy; she curiously eyed the boy’s slight frame, and dirty blonde hair. How could such a weak human command such control over her? Maybe it was her being soul-bound to him through capture. Yeah, that must be it.

“I assume your uncle’s trainer captured your father anyway, correct?”

The questioner was a five foot tall demon like figure with a full yellow body. His normally brown breast plate and ankle guards were obstructed by bright metallic plate armor that seemed very outlandish. Beside him lay a flat helmet with a single long, blue, quartz eye hole. His head had a triangular shape and two large horns protruded from either side. His face slanted down to form a point by his mouth and two three inch long tufts of hair extended horizontally from under his nose.

“Yes, my father was captured,” sighed Laeluh.

“Well,” said Konda, “I have a rather interesting story for you all. It explains my aptitude for the realm of physical style attacks.”

As he said this he glanced quickly at Laeluh’s slender, gray body. On her legs were maroon pant-like objects. On her head was a maroon hat-like object with extending bumps, one out the back, and two out the front. Her small oval face stared interested at Konda’s own.

“That must be quite an interesting story,” pondered the human out loud.

Konda quickly glanced at the small boy, amused at his confidence while he was so small. Yet, there was something in his viridian eyes that suggested that there was more to him than just a slender frame.

Konda responded, “Yes, if you would be so kind to avoid interruption, human, then we might be able to enjoy my story.”

Hawk was annoyed by Konda’s insolent tone, but responded calmly, “I think I can do without comments, Konda. Please. Continue.”

“Well, as I was saying, it all started when…”

--------------------__________--------------------

“Must…run…away!” panted a small yellow figure.

It had tiny eyes. On each of its feet were three, long toes. It had a long, wide tail with a single brown stripe across it. It had a triangular head with two, small, pointed ears. It had a brown breastplate across its chest.

“Ha-ha! I will catch you, puny Abra!” shouted a thin, mustachioed man.

Konda quickly chanced a backward glance at the pursuing human. He wore long khaki hunting pants and a khaki long sleeve hunting shirt. On his back was a long tranquilizing rifle and in his hand was an enormous net. He kept perfect pace with the small alien-like figure.

“Your escape is futile, Abra!” shouted the man cockily.

Konda ran on through the lush forest. Trees were numerous and no more than three yards away from each other. Konda stumbled slightly on a stray root. He panicked and looked backwards to see the man behind him had gained ground.

Konda reached deep into the reserves of energy deep in his mind. He harnessed his inner power, and with a flash, he vanished.

The hunter was astonished. He halted in a treeless grove and began twirling his stiff mustache around his fingers. He stroked his hand over his black and gray fading hair in nervousness.

Up in a large elm obscured by branches and leaves, Konda lurked. He stared down upon the human with distaste. He sneered as he willed the air around the man’s dart rifle to compress. He smiled a satisfied smirk as he heard the sharp crack of the man’s rifle splitting in half. He cried out in despair as the expensive oak rifle shattered. He knelt down, lowering his defenses temporarily.

Konda teleported down in front of him, standing up right on two legs. The man was amazed.

Konda spurted, “Stop chasing me, human!”

“Amazing!” exclaimed the man, “A Pokémon that can speak English!”

“It’s quite easy,” mused the Abra, “I read your mind, find your language center, and read out of that. I can speak every language.”

As the Abra blabbed on, the man stealthily slid his hand to his ammo cartridge from his rifle. He slowly weaseled out a three inch long dart filled with sea-foam green tranquilizing fluid. He pretended to be listening to the Abra as he shot out his hand and impaled the Abra’s thigh with the dart

Konda stuttered, “You…you…”

Konda passed out where he stood. The man chuckled as he swept the Pokémon up in his net and whistled as he playfully trotted through the forest, happy for his catch.

@@@@@@@@@@


Konda awoke with a shiver. He raised himself from the ground and looked around him. Everything had a cerulean tint and looked like riveted sheet metal.

“Where…Where am I?” Konda stuttered in the cold.

“I see you have awoken, young Abra,” rang out the voice of the man from a megaphone over head.

“Why are you keeping me here?” screamed Konda frantically.

“Ah. That, my dear friend, is something I will disclose to you. My daughter, Takeno, is in need of a starter Pokémon. I have caught numerous Pokémon and put them through tests and they have all failed. I have had to kill them all because they are sadly not sufficient. In my mansion’s freezer, there are several exceptional Pokémon. If you can best one of them in combat, then you may be free…relatively of course.”

“So that’s it? You want me to become your daughter’s slave?” retorted Konda.

“Of course, Abra,” responded the man sarcastically, “If you want to live though, you must do as I say.”

The voice immediately cut off. From the man’s tone, Konda could tell that he meant business. If he wasn’t sufficient, he really would be killed.

He surveyed his surroundings. To his right was a white, frosted rack. On it hung several metal hooks upon which huge cow torsos dangled. The meat just hung there in the cold, growing frost. To his left was several shelves, all lined with dairy goods such as ice cream. Behind him was a solid aluminum wall. He probed at it with his mind and found it to be several feet thick, no escape there.

In front of him was a passage heading to the left. He let his mind free from his head and wandered through the freezer. It was small and contained three other doors. Behind one was a slim figure, emitting some sort of dark aura. He figured it must be a Sneasel. He wasn’t going to try that. Behind the second door was some immense figure. It must have been seven feet tall. It seemed to emit a pure aura of anger and ferocity. He couldn’t discern what it was, but he wouldn’t try against something so big. Behind the third door was a two foot tall conical figure. It seemed to emit a cold aura. Not anything else, evil, happiness, no, just stinging, brutal, freezing cold.

He shrugged and decided he would try his chances with the figure in the third door. He walked forward for a minute then turned left. Surprisingly, he found a door! This was amazing, how had a door of this thickness bypass his senses? This experience kept getting stranger by the second. He willed the air inside the locking mechanism of the door to compress and turn to unlock. To his surprise, the door refused to open. Now this was weird. Nothing cold resist is Psychic powers. Well, nothing but this door of course.

He thought into his arsenal of moves and found one that suited the occasion. His fist immediately condensed the freezing air around it and formed water. The water enclosed around his fist, grew cold, and hardened. He slammed the Ice Punch into the door, noticing that it didn’t hurt his knuckles at all. The ice spread out from his fist and made the metal brittle.

He backed up and raised his hands above his head while the air around him crackled with static. The electricity formed a ball of lightning above his head that roared with thunder.

“Zap Cannon!”

Konda released the ball with incredible force. The entire sphere rushed toward the door and instantly demolished it in a roar of cracking metal and thunder. Konda carefully stepped over the broken metal shards to avoid injuring his feet.

He was surprised to see around him a wide main freezer room with walls lined with bread, meat, and ice cream and the walls were packed deeply with ice. The room was about half the size of an American football field, which is immense for a freezer. To his left was a single door which he sensed was the exit to the freezer. To his right were the three doors. He knew to avoid the first two out of fear for his life. His only chance was the third door.

Konda shivered. Through all of this he almost forgot the immense cold. He slowly stepped over to a nearby thermometer. He looked at the mercury and was astonished to see the silvery fluid below zero. This was insane! How was it humane to put living beings in negative degree temperatures? Well, it seems that someone who would hunt Pokémon and put them through a deadly test like this would not be humane.

He allowed some of his inner energy reserves to open and flow energy through his entire body. His extremities regained their natural color as the flowing energy warmed his body.

He walked over to the third door and began charging his energy. He grew mad extremely fast. Being pent up in a freezer by a meat bag was too much to bear. He unleashed all of his pent up rage on the door in the form of a Psychic blast. The door immediately unhinged and rushed back into the hall and clanged into a wall fifty yards down the hall. From around the corner, he heard something stir.

From behind the wall trudged a forlorn figure. It was a two foot tall conical body with a mainly black face. Around it was a bright yellow shawl draping over the figures head and to its small feet. The figure turned to face Konda, its teeth clenched in an eternal lackluster smile. Its tiny speck-like blue eyes bored into Konda.

“I see you have chosen me to gain your freedom," sighed the Snorunt.

“I’m sorry Snorunt but that is the truth. It must be done.”

“I understand your basis on doing this. Everyone wants their freedom,” droned on the female Snorunt, “Sadly though, I must prevent you because I too seek my freedom.”

Konda was just about to respond when the Snorunt extended her short arms and a ball of dark violet energy quickly formed in front of her hands. She grunted as she released the Shadow Ball at Konda. Konda growled in agony at the pain. It slung him back all the way out of the hall and buried him a foot deep in the packed ice. He stepped out of the ice, enraged.

“Fire Style: Hidden Power Attack!” shouted Konda.

He extended his hands in front of him forming a triangle with his fingers. He reared his head back, and exhaled with force into the triangle. A steady stream of fire erupted from his fingers and scorched the poor Snorunt. It should have immediately burned the little thing, but as the fire made contact, it seemed like an invisible barrier rose up and halted the fire from striking the Snorunt.

“Ah, smart job, Abra,” chuckled the man over the loud speaker, “My daughter needs innovative Pokémon. I wouldn’t give her one that remains in his or her comfort zone now would I? If you hope to succeed, you’ll have to attempt something different than ranged attacks.”

Konda quickly pondered his next course of action, but not fast enough. Like an arrow from a bow, a spear-like shard of ice rushed from the hall and impaled his right foot into the freezer ground. He quickly turned to see the Snorunt Headbutt him right in the chest with the crest of her pointed head, cracking several ribs. Konda coughed blood.

“My combos have been carefully worked, you see,” blabbed the Snorunt, I have been practicing my Ice Shards for months inside the freezer.”

Konda thought he would experiment and tried to shatter the Snorunt’s special attack barrier with a blast of Psychic. The barrier reflected it easily, frustrating Konda. He thought back into his arsenal once more and found a perfect combination of attacks.

“Fire Punch! Thunder Punch!” he shouted.

On his right fist, orange roiling flames ignited and boiled around his closed fist. On his left fist, lightning materialized and began pulsing around his clenched hand. He slowly inched toward the pack ice and with a quick motion, broke off a chunk of ice with his left hand and threw it at the Snorunt. Surprised, the little ice figure dove out of the way, lowering her guard. Konda came in with a vengeance, pounding her face into the ground with his right, singeing her facial features.

Konda gasped as the Snorunt Headbutted him in the chest, jamming one of his broken ribs into his lungs. Konda figured he only had a few more minutes to finish this. He grasped her in the face with his left hand, savoring her agonized expression as the lightning pulsed through her body. He threw her in the air, slamming her into several cows. Konda teleported out of the mortal range of vision onto the racks of the freezer suspended from the ceiling. There, he evaluated his injury and planned his next attack.

Below him the Snorunt cried out in anger, “Blizzard!”

All around him, the temperature seemed to drop thirty degrees. The pack ice was torn off the walls and began twirling around the freezer. The chunks of ice pelted Konda’s chest, further jamming his chest inward causing unbearable agony. He cried out as he fell off the racks and landed face down on the freezing metal floor. The Snorunt timidly approached him, not sure if he was incapacitated or not. She forcefully jammed the tip of her head into his back. He didn’t move. Satisfied, she trotted toward the door to be freed when she heard a high pitched whine behind her.

She turned around, horrified to see Konda standing erect, his eyes pinned open, revealing bright indigo corneas. His fist was lit up with an intense white light that pained one to look at. He reared it back even further, while an almost inaudible screech emanated from his fist. The air around him began to grow intensely hot, melting the ice around them forming a small reservoir of two inch deep water throughout the whole freezer. The Snorunt began to panic as she was sucked toward Konda like an iron screw to a magnet.

The Snorunt broke free from the pull of his fist and frantically dashed toward her old freezer cage. She blinked once and Konda has Teleported in front of her. He kicked his foot out, leveling her on the ground.

Right before he released his pent up energy, he said, “You really shouldn’t have tried me. Dynamic Punch!”

He unleashed his fist. It hurtled through the air, whistling as it went. It finally halted as it smashed into the helpless Snorunt’s face. At the point of impact, an enormous explosion rang throughout the entire freezer. Roiling flames expanded upon each other and kept expanding, consuming each other. The heat was intense and singed the gaping hole in Konda’s chest shut. As the flames cleared, he walked over to the burned and dying body of the Snorunt. He felt pity, but more importantly, anxiety as he saw the tiny runt squirm. He jumped over to her and placed his hands upon her head. He extended his consciousness into hers, searching for her action center. He found it, and using his special Dream Eater technique, consumed all of the thoughts occurring in her head. He immediately shut off her body for the next five hours.

He dragged the motionless body over to the metal door which led to freedom. He suddenly noticed he was sweating intensely. He felt his right lung start to deflate; soon he would go into shock and be totally helpless.

He frantically hammered his arms on the door but to no avail. With his last act of desperation, he used all of his pent up sorrow and anger and completely crushed the door to the size of a basketball. He used his energy to hurl the ball across a narrow yellow hall, embedding the orb into the wall.

He stumbled outside and tripped. He landed hard on his bottom and leaned against the wall. He gasped desperately for breath as he saw the man walk down the hall way holding a half red and half white orb. He stood in front of the door and stared at the motionless Snorunt then back at Konda.

“You had better hope you were successful,” he said as he dropped the pokéball on the little ice creature.

Konda observed as a swathe of bright, translucent, crimson light enveloped the small figure, then compressed and shrank back into the orb.

The ball twitched once…

“I had better hope I was successful,” thought Konda, “This is more than a matter of my freedom…”

Twice…

__________________
URPG

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 11-09-2008 at 06:43 PM.
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  #5  
Old 10-22-2008, 10:01 PM
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Black Hawk Offline
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Location: Bibarel?
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: Initiation

----------__________----------
Target: Snorunt
Difficulty level: Medium
Characters needed: 10,000-20,000
Characters have: 16,112
Status: Ready for Grade
----------__________----------
__________________
URPG

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead
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  #6  
Old 11-10-2008, 09:12 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: Initiation

Grading now.

Introduction

The recap was extremely good for new readers like me. Your introduction was very well done too, and brought me into the story. I've been hooked! Aaaiiieee. You also described all the main characters pretty well, so yay for you.

Distinction! Wear it with pride. :3

Plot

It's Konda's turn to tell his story. He gets abducted and hauled to this frozen lab where he has to beat up other mons in order to get his freedom. And he has to be special.

This was very nice. I've always wanted to write something nitty gritty like that. A Melee Alakazam doesn't really appeal to me, but meh, it's still awesome.

You did a nice job bringing out the evillness of the man. I also liked how the villian in this story isn't a complete doofus, and is actually pretty resourceful. Kudos.

Distinctionz! Yay.

Grammar/Spelling

It's all correct on the whole, so I might as well nitpick.

Quote:
demon like, over head
Needs hyphens between demon and like IMO, and overhead is a compound word together.

Quote:
He smiled a satisfied smirk as he heard the sharp crack of the man’s rifle splitting in half. [Alarm Bells!] He cried out in despair as the expensive oak rifle shattered
You might want to split the paragraph there, or give some indication that the man was the one that cried out in despair. Why would the Abra cry out in despair if the rifle broke from his doings?

Other than those, you're all fine.

Distinction. :O

Length

16112 is right in the middle, so whatever. Pass.

Detail

This was very, very well done. Every Pokemon was described perfectly to a T, and I can almost imagine the evil guy screwing around with Konda. Fantastic. I especially like the description of the dart. It made me go all Flash! He's pulling out this green dart! Oh noes! Stab! KO gg!!!

It might just be me, but I couldn't figure out what was behind the second door either from the description. @_@

Distinction!

Battle

The battle was great, extremely two-sided, and pretty epic. Konda got a hole torn in him oh noes. And just like the villian wants it, it was rather unexpected. Konda is all melee, beating the crap out of the Snorunt, then he makes it. Call me morbid, but I like how you had fire seal Konda's wound shut.

I do wonder how he managed to start a fire with a two-inch deep lake lying around, but that's just me.

You didn't make very much use of your surroundings. You only used it as a sort of hiding place for Konda and so that he could throw ice shards. Snorunt should be able to use the place better since it's Ice-type, so keep that in mind.

Although I nitpick, this battle is still worthy of a distinction. Rawr.

Overall

What can I say? You did a great job on this one. Kudos.

Outcome

Snorunt CAPTURED

See you around.

Pika out.
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私はグレダーです--I am a Grader
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  #7  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:44 PM
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: The Academy

Last time on Campfire stories… Hawk, Laeluh the Medicham, and Konda the Alakazam were questing across the Ahktar desert in search of the hive of the mysterious swarm. While walking, they encountered the swarm. After an intense fight, they stalled it enough to teleport away to an unknown location. There, they sat around a camp fire and told each other stories of their past.

Hawk has a translator so he can understand Pokémon

Campfire Stories: The Academy

“Well,” groaned a skinny boy, “that was quite…interesting.”

A yellow demon-like figure responded, “If you aren’t gracious for me revealing my past in an entertaining manner, maybe you aren’t gracious for being alive. Shall we find out, Meat Bag?”

The boy stared back at the creature. He examined his slender body and yellow triangular head.

“If you want, Ordario and I can show you what real pain is, as compared to those tickles you felt against that puny Snorunt!”

Konda snarled as he stood and drew his pewter spoons from his platinum belt. With a flick of his wrists, three foot long blades of violet psychic energy shot out from the spoons. The blades vibrated with power as the psychic energy attempted to overload the simple metal.

The Alakazam’s large mustache which extended vertically from under his nose blew as if there was a strong wind coming from his spoons. He leveled the tips of his blades at the small boy.

He had dirty blonde, short hair and deep viridian eyes. He wore short, burnt orange basketball shorts and a simple dark grey shirt. He reached into his pocket and withdrew a pokéball. This particular one was special and had a silver bottom half and the top half was a dark cerulean.

Hawk said, “Boy, if you wanna go, I can go anytime. Don’t mess, man.”

“You’re tone is extremely insolent, boy. Also, don’t call me boy. I am 800 years older than you, and thousands of years wiser,” retorted the yellow demon.

“Yeah, sure. You can say that hiding under that armor of yours,” spat Hawk, “Without all your precious platinum plates covering your legs and your arms and your body…Is there any part that it’s covering that I don’t know of?”

“No, you covered it all, I believe,” groaned Konda sarcastically.

“Yeah, well I bet you still have that gaping hole from that puny little ice critter on your chest,” said Hawk.

“As a matter of fact, I do!” shouted Konda.

He dropped his chest plate from his torso and in the middle of his brown chest plate was a six inch wide light-grey scar.

For the first time, Hawk noticed Konda’s labored breathing. It sounded as if he had bronchitis and was breathing heavily through a throat full of phlegm. Hawk figured that was his injury being healed incorrectly.

“That scar just shows your weakness,” Hawk mumbled.

“MY WHAT!?” shouted Konda.

He threw one of his psychic blades at the small boy. It spun rapidly and made eleven full turns before it halted in mid air.

“Maybe,” spoke a forgotten figure quietly, “We should all just shut up and listen to the next story. The night is still young.”

Both of the two males turned their heads to see Laeluh, the Medicham.

She had a small body. Her skin was mainly a grayish brown color. On her legs she had pant-like leggings of a maroon color. On her head, she had a round hat of the same color. Her oval face held two tiny eyes and pursed lips.

“Now that I have your attention, we will continue with stories, yes?”

“We will, Laeluh,” responded Hawk, “My story begi…”

Laeluh interrupted, “Hold on there, Slick. I don’t want to hear your boring stories. They probably all involve you beating up a Pokémon and capturing it, too repetitive in my opinion. I am under the impression that there is more to Konda’s story…”

“Why, my dear,” responded Konda, “You have assumed right. My story doesn’t end with my success against the Snorunt. There is a whole mess of events involving a large cave and a school. Get comfortable, this will take a while…”

@@@@@@@@@@

…The pokéball tolled like a mourning bell and finished shaking. The Snorunt had been caught and Konda’s life had been saved…for now.

“Well done, Abra,” spoke the mustachioed man, “You have passed the first test.”

Konda stuttered, “Th-The first test? First?”

“Why of course Abra. You seemed to have gotten out of the freezer all well and good. Well, except for the nasty thing on your chest. Fix it, will you?”

Konda glared at the man, who was still dressed in his tan hunting khakis.

He slowly put his hand over his chest and muttered, “Recover.”

A white light burst from his hand and sank into his dented, brown chest. He felt his lung re-inflate as his energy forced his ribs back into a natural position. He took a clean gasp of air as his chest finally felt regular again. The dent on his sternum rose and leveled out, but still the burn mark from his Dynamic Punch remained on his chest.

Konda stood up in front of the man and glared into his hazel eyes. The man nervously ran his hands through his black and gray hair, seemingly afraid to return the gaze into Konda’s violet eyes.

“We-Well, all is good I suppose. No love lost.”

“There never was any, Meat Bag,” growled Konda.

“I am happy that you will find that your body is composed of flesh also, Abra. So by definition, I could call you Meat Bag also.”

“Yeah, you could do that. If you do, I’ll kill you.”

“Well we wouldn’t want that now would we,” sighed the man, “Follow me.”

They walked down the long, bright yellow hallway toward a large oak door the length of a football field further down the way.

The man began to make petty chat with Konda, and he recognized this as the same tactic that worked the other time he was tranquilized. He wouldn’t let it happen a second time.

As they walked, he noticed that the man was falling back slightly. Through his mind’s eye, he could see the man withdraw another six inch long syringe filled with a fluorescent green, bubbly fluid. He dove towards Konda.

In one fluid motion, Konda whipped around and grabbed the man’s arm holding the dart. He calmly wrenched his arm aside, snapping his wrist and pulling his arm out of its socket.

The dart fell on the ground and shattered, spilling the fluid all over the light tan wood flooring. Konda used the man’s shock as an opportunity. In yet another fluid motion, he grabbed the man’s head and threw it down to his knee. He was satisfied to hear a crack on the contact, but dissatisfied to feel that it was his own knee cracking. He hastily threw the man up and punched him square in the pelvis.

The man’s eyes widened as he fell to the ground. He lay motionless on the hard wood flooring holding his pelvic region, mouth agape.

Konda chuckled and spat on the man’s face as he calmly plodded back down the opposite side of the hall. In that single moment, he let his guard down. The man had planned something as such, and had left a smaller dart lying needle up on the floor.

Konda gasped in shock as he felt the needle puncture his foot. He plopped to the ground and raised his foot. He ripped the syringe out of his foot and walked over to the man. He propped his body up on the wall, and placing his hands on his head, used his Dream Eater technique, knocking the man unconscious for the next few hours.

As Konda felt the tranquilizing serum begin to take effect, he positioned his rear end so that it was rubbing the man’s face. He giggled like a school girl as he passed out, slumped against the wall and sitting on his captor’s face.

~~~~~

The small yellow demon rose from his unconsciousness to find himself in the middle of a small closet-sized cave. He was lying on a bamboo mat laden with straw. He stood up and slowly inched toward the solid wooden door.

Konda figured the door was just a formality and was proved correct in his reasoning when it opened from a slight rap of his knuckle.

He stepped out into a large cave, about the size of a football field. His room was on the southeastern end of the room. Directly across from his own room, was a solid steel door that read, “Equipment.”

Konda was weary as he walked over to the door. Before he opened it, he turned around and noticed three similar doors to the one he just came out of. He pondered this as he pushed at the door.

The metal panel made a “whoosh” sound as it zipped off to the side and into the wall. He warily stepped over the threshold and examined his surroundings as the door closed shut behind him. In the center of the room was a two-foot tall column.

Konda heard the man’s voice over the loud speaker, “Oh, boy, you have dug yourself quite the hole haven’t you, Abra? First, you behave rebelliously and second, you punch me in the pelvic region. This is absolutely unacceptable and you are lucky you have not been killed as of now. I have only spared your life because your talent is too great to be wasted.”

“Spare the mushy Tauros crap, Meat Bag,” spat Konda, “What are you doing here?”

“Well, Abra, here we have my prestigious Academy for the Teaching of Insolent Talented Individuals, or ATITI for short. Here I train insolent brats like you for use of other trainers. As of current, you are in the cave system under my mansion. There are numerous complexes, each one housing four different Pokémon. You will be paired with a partner and will be tasked to defeat the other two in your residence. Of course, the group you are in consists of the best of the best, because my daughter deserves only the best.”

“Cut to the chase, Meat Bag!” shouted Konda, “Why am I in this room?”

“I suppose it’s because you stepped in here,” chuckled the man, “But in all seriousness, you will be better than other Pokémon in both technique and style. In here, you will receive equipment to match with your fighting style and to augment your offensive prowess. On the center console, you will find your equipment. Today, you will be introduced to your opponents and partner. Tomorrow, the fight begins.”

Konda turned his attention to the room once more. The entire place was plated with white steel. Lining the circular room were several computer consoles. Keyboards stood about two feet of the ground and lined the room with unreadable runes. The large liquid crystal display screens revealed light blue backgrounds with white grid lines. Schematics to some sort of metal armor were displayed on all the screens.

Konda turned his attention to the center console once again. He noticed a column of thick glass ran from the stand to the ceiling. He walked up a small step ladder so he was even with the console. He pressed the big red button on the keyboard, and the glass slid down into the stand.

In the center of the console was a titanium “coat rack”, but instead of coats, white platinum armor hung on it. At the foot of the stand lay a flat helmet with a single line of sapphire quartz lining the front so as to give the wearer a Cyclops-like appearance.

On the back of the main chest plate was a note that read, “This armor will protect you in battle. There is a special surprise hidden somewhere, and it will only reveal itself to you in a true time of need.”

Konda shrugged as he strapped on his leg guards. He gently buckled the heavy pressure belt onto his waist, then strapped on his chest plate. He hooked on his arm and hand guards, and stuck his helmet under his arm.

On his way out of the room, he stopped in front of one of the screens. He allowed his mind to worm into the circuitry and he turned off one of the screens. He eyed himself in the now mirror-like screen.

He just did not look like he ought to. Most Pokémon his age were out playing in the woods while he slaved in this dreaded hell hole. His face wasn’t that of an innocent Abra anymore, it was that of a battle-hardened fighter, with all the scars lining his triangular face. Through his squinted eyes, he could no longer see the dent in his chest as the metal plates covered it. He was satisfied to see that the armor was incredibly sleek and flowed together. It did not even make so much as a squeak when he moved, perfect for ambushes.

Just then, Konda did the most hideous thing imaginable. He smiled. He smiled a vicious, blood-thirsty smile and allowed his white teeth to show.

“Oh, we’re gonna have fun with this thing,” he chuckled maniacally.

He glided out the door. It slammed shut behind him. He walked back into his little cave with the mat and lay down.

Three hours later, the man’s voice rang out on the intercom, “All right, students. All meet in the southern sector of the cave by the meeting table. That is all.”

Konda rose and prepared to exit the door. He hesitated for a moment to make sure that his armor was tight. He picked up his helmet and tucking it under his arm, he trotted out of his cave to meet his peers.

The cave was well lit, in all honesty. There were softball-sized halogen bulbs every five yards lining the ceiling, eliminating almost every sliver of darkness.

Konda arrived at a large steel table. Around it were four high backed seats. He plopped down in the northern seat of the round table and waited for the others.

Konda, with his acute sense of hearing, heard a slight rustle behind him. He jolted from his seat and ignited both of his fists with the roiling flames of Fire Punch.

In front of him stood a three foot tall frog-like creature that stood on hind its legs. It had indigo skin and sad-looking yellow eyes. On either end of his smirking mouth were two red sacs that appeared to contain some type of liquid. It had a flat back and appeared to have white cloth wrapped around its mid-section. His indigo skin turned to black beginning at his wrists and his ankles and the black extended to his digits. The middle finger of each of his hands was a vivid crimson color. On his back was strapped a large brown back pack.

“Och, how be ye this fahn morning?” said the frog in a strange dialect.

Konda was surprised at the frog’s accent.

“Oh, I’m…I’m just great, thanks,” Konda responded.

“Oh, ye be fine. That’s guid. V’ry guid. Wot be ye’re name, me bonnie yella demon?”

“My name is Konda, yours?”

“Och, Ah be noon as Angus frae where Ah hail. I be frae the north’rn highlands of thae Sinnoh region tae th’ noo, ye kin?”

“I kin all right,” responded Konda, finally recognizing the frog’s dialect as Highland.

Angus hopped happily to the eastern seat of the table, plopped his backpack on it, and sat to await the next arrival.

The Croagunk twitched in fright as he saw another figure emerge from across the table.

It was small, one foot tall maybe. The thing was covered in thick mats of chocolate brown fur. It had small squinted eyes and seven dark brown stripes running lengthwise down its back. Its already small feet were made invisible by its shaggy hair as it plodded along, sweating in the heat of the cave.

“Och, hallo tae ye, ye bonnie lahss. My name be Angus, and this ‘ere is me oon fren Konda. Care tae grace me wi’ ye’re name lahssy?” questioned Angus.

“My name is DarkFur. You can call me Fur for short. Pleased to meet you both,” she said happily.

Konda noticed that somehow, she too was wearing a brown backpack. He wondered how she had gotten the backpack on her back, but he turned his attention to the seat in front of him as a similar brown backpack materialized right in front of the southern seat.

Immediately following the backpack, another shape appeared. It was a four foot tall amorphous blob of solid, dark, violet gas. Surrounding the blob was a free floating lighter purple gas that didn’t seem to take shape as the “head” of the gas did. On the solid ball were two large eyes with black corneas and a mouth with two rows of razor sharp and extremely pointy teeth.

He laughed, “Don’t bother with pleasantries. I know why we are here, I know all of your names, and I know what we will be doing so let’s cut to the chase. My name is Winston.”

“Och, ye be a cold wahn, Winston,” grunted Angus.

“Well I don’t care, to be frank,” hissed the Gastly.

Suddenly, the man’s voice interrupted over the intercom, “I see you all are well acquainted. Konda already has his gift, if you all haven’t noticed.”

Three pairs of envious eyes glared at Konda. Konda returned the favor. His eyes lit up bright blue in preparation for a defensive maneuver. All of the eyes shifted to the ceiling.

“I’m sure you have noticed that your gifts are all contained in your back packs. All of you put them on so others can see what is going on.”

The Croagunk reached his skinny arm into his back and pulled out two gauntlets that appeared to be made of the same material as Konda’s armor. The gloves were meant for a four-fingered being obviously, but the slot where the middle finger would have gone wasn’t covered by any metal, as to allow the middle finger to be open to the air. A single sapphire blue quartz orb was encased on the center of the palm on both of the gauntlets. There was also a head ring that once placed on his head, wrapped the entire expanse. A small translucent eye piece could be lowered from the white steel head band so that Angus looked through it with his right eye. The eye piece was made of the same sapphire blue quartz as the orbs on his palms and on Konda’s helmet. There was a targeting reticule in the eye piece. Small earmuffs could be extended from the band to cover Angus’ ears if necessary.

DarkFur opened her pack and crawled inside. She emerged with her entire body encased in the same plate armor as Konda. She had two metal tusks extending from the armor on either side of her head. They were extremely sharp and looked as if they could puncture anything.

The Gastly stared at his pack as it opened itself. A single metal band about two inches wide was pulled by some unseen force out of the pack. Across the front of it was another panel of quartz, but this one was a ruby red color. The Gastly placed it on his head but didn’t pull it down all the way, so his eyes were still naked.

“Ach, noo Ah be havin’ summat tha’ be a match fo ye’re guid equipment, eh Konda?” spouted Angus happily.

DarkFur said, “My equipment isn’t too shabby either.”

Winston just grunted.

The voice on the intercom ran out once again, “Good. I see you all have your equipment. Now I will divide you in to teams. After which you will have one week to weaken and allow me to capture the other team. If you lose, you die and if you fail to kill the other team, you die still.”

“What are the teams, Meat Bag?” questioned Konda.

“The teams will be yourself and the Gastly against the Croagunk and the Swinub. You have thirty minutes,” said the man, his voice abruptly cutting off.

Angus’ eyes rolled back into his head and turned black, as he thought of a Nasty Plot. Konda dove across the table. He grabbed Winston and teleported out of the area just as DarkFur picked up their scent with an Odor Sleuth.

Konda and Winston materialized in Konda’s cave.

“Look, Winston, We don’t have much time here to plan, and we don’t have much room for error. You take the pig, I’ll get the frog. Deal?”

“Sounds good to me, Abra,” spoke Winston, condescendingly.

The two heard the frog’s voice ring out in the distance, “Och, where be ye, ye peskeh li’ul roonts. If’n Ah catch up tae ye, Ah’ll rip ye apaht!”

“Okay. Winston, I’m going to teleport around a bit and try to lure them apart. You take the girl. Don’t mess up.”

“Rest assured, Konda, You
will mess up before I will.”

With that, Konda vanished to another part of the cave and Winston faded out of the mortal range of sight.

__________________
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PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead
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  #8  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:46 PM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Re: Campfire Stories: The Academy

~~~~~

“Ach, DarkFur, ha’ ye heard o’ those tae rascals hidin’ anywheres?”

“No, I have not Angus,” she paused, “I have Winston’s scent! Follow me.”

They dashed off to the southern end of the cave. Angus tripped on what he thought was a rock and landed face first in the gravel. He felt a cold, three fingered hand grasp the back of his head. He felt the air rush out of his lungs as he was Teleported to another dimension and back again.

He rematerialized with his face pressed hard against a jagged wall of the cave by Konda. He couldn’t even hear the steps of DarkFur anymore.

“Ach! Oo noo. Sweet Mother o’ Mew,” thought Angus, “Th’ peskehs ha’ separated us!”

He tried to wrench free of Konda’s iron grip, but he couldn’t manage to shake free. He felt the air around him begin to grow immensely hot and there must have been an incredibly bright light behind him, because the cave wall in front of him looked as if it was mid-day. All of the sudden, he heard an almost inaudible whine emanate from immediately behind his ear. He recognized the sound. Konda threw him to the ground and he hastily turned around on his back to see Konda standing straight with his right fist aglow and whining.

“Dynamic Punch!” shouted Konda.

“Mud-Slap!” countered Angus.

He scooped up a handful of dirt from the ground, flung it in Konda’s eyes and dove out of the way just as his fist collided where Angus once was.

The resulting explosion and roiling fire slammed Angus against the wall, but it didn’t hurt him nearly as much as it could have. The fire singed his left arm slightly, but he was otherwise uninjured.

Angus used his fighting type agility and sprang to the ceiling thirty feet above. He deftly scampered across the ceiling and finally noticed a small nook which he crawled into. He lowered the targeting scouter over his right eye and powered on his gauntlets.

Below him, Konda tracked carefully, looking out for his attacker.

Above him he heard, “Och, Ah be a gettin’ ya noo! Faint Attack!”

He sharply turned his gaze upward to see the Croagunk falling down on upon him. Konda’s eyes turned bright blue as he released a blast of Psychic but just as the blast was about to make contact with the frog, he disappeared.

Below his upward turning head, Konda heard, “Ah ha’ ye noo! Sucker Punch!”

He looked down but regretted the action. He saw the Croagunk shoot up his open palm and grasp his pointed chin.

“Ah weel noo activate mah gontlets!”

The cerulean quartz orb in his right palm lit up and emitted a high pitched wine. A blast of pure blue energy erupted from his palms as he continued on his thrust.

Konda screeched in agony as his head cracked against the ceiling at highway speeds. He fell down to the ground and rolled around and groaned for awhile.

“Och, tahm for me oon Dynamic Punch,” Angus said as he approached Konda’s limp body.

His fist lit up with a pure white light and began whining louder than a month old baby.

~~~~~

DarkFur began to panic as she looked back and found that Angus wasn’t following her. She turned around and almost fainted in shock to see that Winston was looming directly in front of her.

She shouted, “Rock Slide!”

Rocks on the ceiling began clinking together as they rushed down to crush Winston. He howled as the stones buried him. DarkFur ran away quickly. She felt something ghastly and wet rub across her back and turned around to see that Winston had Licked her. He cackled like a witch as he faded out of sight again.

She raised her snout in the air, took several snorts then shouted, “Double Edge!”

She reared around and dove at what seemed to be nothing as her metal armor tusks ignited with electricity. Winston howled as the tusks punctured his ghostly body. DarkFur froze. She all of the sudden couldn’t feel her body. Winston grunted as he faded away, intent on healing his wounds.

“My saliva has a special sedative toxin. Be very aware.”

She turned around frantically, than began Cursing in many different languages. She Cursed in Pokémon, she cursed in English, and she even Cursed in Pig-Latin. Her white steel plate metal began to illuminate.

Winston materialized directly in front of her.

She shook violently as she picked up his scent with Odor Sleuth and shouted, “Double-Edge!”

Winston grinned as if he thought it wouldn’t hurt him. DarkFur’s special musk had made him more solid then he knew though and he was impaled by the sharp tusks. He grunted as DarkFur violently flailed around, and then charged directly at the jagged wall of the cave.

Winston howled in agony as the jagged rocks of the wall and the DarkFur’s tusks slammed him in a painful, pointy sandwich.

DarkFur said, “Give up, Winston. I can only push harder from here.”

Winston responded wryly, “No, you should give up. I know you won’t though, so I’ll just cut to the chase.”

He opened his mouth wide while his eyes turned black and rolled back into his head.

“Dark Pulse!”

An enormous wave of pure shadow energy jettisoned from every pore of his body. It resonated through the cave and made the sound of an underwater mine. DarkFur gagged as the darkness forced her lunch out of her stomach. She shot through the air diagonally and finally made painful contact against the crags of the ceiling. After skidding several yards across the ceiling, she fell and landed on a stalagmite. The spire hit at just the angle so as to penetrate her armor. It carved a jagged swathe across her back, spraying blood everywhere.

She landed on the ground and panted, fighting unconsciousness.

~~~~~

Konda braced himself for death as he observed Angus’ glowing fist rushing toward his face.

Just then, he heard something that sounded like a depth charge or some type of underwater explosive. Immediately following which was an immense wave of dark energy. The blast knocked Angus off his feet. He collided into a wall as his fist exploded. The fire totally burnt his entire body as nothing was on the receiving end to take the brunt of the explosion.

Konda took advantage of the pause and teleported behind a stalagmite about thirty yards away. He extended his Psychic presence into the rock and sliced it off of its base so that it was just a loose spire resting on a cylindrical base.

“Och, wear are ye, ye peskeh li’ul demon? Ah’ma keel yew!”

Konda’s eyes lit up blue as he leveled the stalagmite so it was pointed at the Croagunk. He released the pent up energy and the spire shot at the frog. It impaled him straight through just above his left thigh. He fell flat on his back and began panting. Konda was on him like vultures on road kill.

As he clamped his neck down with his hands, he shouted, “Skull Bash!”

His head lit up white. He slammed it down on Angus’ and an ear splitting crack noise resonated through the cavern as he broke his skull. Angus’ eyes crossed.

He groaned, “Cross Chop.”

He crossed his arms and sharp blades extended from his gauntlets. He slashed with his arms and Konda gasped as he felt his warm blood drip over his body.

Angus got up quickly and kicked the surprised Abra over. He twitched as his full body burns made his entire body itch. He hastily picked up Konda by his face. He howled as he threw the Abra into the air. The orbs on both of his palms lit up as he aimed them at Konda.

“Shadow Ball!”

A beam of violet energy shot out of the orbs, magnified by their density. It pierced through Konda’s chest right next to his left arm. He plopped on the ground and stared dizzily at the ceiling as Angus approached him and sat on him in a suggestive manner.

“Och, ye may have broken me oon head,” he cringed as an apparent wave of pain coursed through his skull, “boot Ah weel ha’ th’ plezhur of keelin’ ye.”

He extended the red middle finger of his right hand. A black talon slowly emerged from it. It dripped with a bright purple luminescent liquid.

“Ach, ye might be likin’ a bit o’ me Toxic, matey?”

He slowly lowered the talon to Konda’s exposed neck.

~~~~~

DarkFur awakened to Winston’s maniacally cackling. She moaned and turned over. She felt the blood caked on her back crack as she moved under it.

“Amnesia,” she muttered.

Instantly, she forgot all of what happened. She forgot that Winston had hurt her and she totally forgot about the nagging pain from her injury. She dove at Winston while he was gasping for breath from his mirthful laughing.

“You’re grounded!” snarled the Swinub.

The force from her charge and the weight from her body forced Winston onto the floor of the cave. He stared, flabbergasted, at the small snow pig.

“Fissure!” she roared.

An enormous fissure split its way through the cave floor. It opened up directly beneath Winston. The walls of the thin gap were lined with razor sharp spires of rock, and the faint orange glow of magma could be seen from below.

DarkFur roared again as jagged spires of igneous stone shot out of the rift like bullets. They brushed by Winston at astounding pace, gashing slashes in his ethereal body. She groaned once more as she hauled Winston into the air and slammed him against the ceiling.

He whimpered in pain as he fell back to the earth and was blanketed in stones that fell from the ceiling.

DarkFur heavily plodded over to the pile and plopped to the ground, exhausted. Inside the pile of rocks, she heard murmuring. Either she was schizophrenic, or she was not in a good position.

“Fire Style: Hidden Power Attack,” she heard, whispered from the pile in an ominous voice.


She peered into a small hole in the rocks and saw a faint orange glow. Then, she noticed it was Winston’s eyes.

An unbelievably enormous cone of burning plasma jettisoned from the hole. The fire was as hot as the surface of the sun and illuminated the entire cave. The roiling plumes of oxygen consuming flame boiled over until they covered an area equivalent to a basketball court.

The flame settled and where DarkFur was lying was a small lump of hairless, bright red flesh which was obviously extremely burnt. The eyes of the Swinub were welded shut permanently by the intense inferno. Burnt chunks of metal surrounded her.

Beside her lay the purple orb that was Winston. He didn’t fair so well either. The rocks around him were completely reduced to white ash, but no signs of damage were visible on his body, but that was expected as his body is not exactly solid, but phases in and out of different states of matter. Nonetheless, he was unconscious and displayed labored breathing.

~~~~~

Angus leaned in closer.

Just then, they felt the entire cave shake, as if a massive fissure opened nearby. The jolt knocked Angus’ claw into Konda’s neck, infecting him with the lethal poisons.

He began to spasm, when an enormous burst of red light exploded throughout the cavern. The immense wave of heat knocked Angus off of Konda, further injuring his already blistering burns, but in the process, his finger was dragged along Konda’s neck. The gash was nearly four inches long and was now oozing with purple goo. Death was imminent.

As Konda began to arch in shock, Angus rushed back and sat on him to make sure he didn’t break his neck.

Konda began to glow white. Slowly at first, but soon his entire body was glowing pure white. His body began to change shape. His face grew thinner and looked as if his features were chiseled, like he was a starving little boy. His torso widened and his fingers grew pearly white talons. Long, five inch tufts of hair jetted out from either side of his snout. A five pointed red star materialized on his forehead. His feet grew talons and a large, fluffy tail extended from the hindquarters of his armor.

The Kadabra stopped shaking. He slowly opened his eyes and stared down the Croagunk. Angus didn’t notice Konda withdraw a single pewter spoon from behind his back.

“Psycho Cut!” he shouted hoarsely.

Immediately, a bright blade of azure opaque energy shot out from the tip of his spoon. It extended about one foot from the tip of the utensil. Fast as light, his hand shot across his body and slashed across the Croagunk’s stomach.

Konda rolled back and kicked him in the air. Blood and small pieces of slashed intestine spilled out of the frog’s stomach gash. Konda hurled his spoon like a boomerang at the frog. It twirled in the air and slashed off his entire left arm up to his elbow. The intensity of the blade’s energy sealed up the cut made on Angus’ arm immediately.

He landed loudly on the gravel covered ground of the cave. Konda extended his arm and the ignited spoon blade flew to his open palm.

As Konda stepped over to Angus, he foresaw the future. He stabbed hard at the air next to him, then pirouetted and hacked down onto nothing with the blade.

He approached the frog and slammed down with his blade.

“Och, Sucker Punch!”

Angus jumped up from the ground and grabbed Konda’s chin with his right arm. The orb on his gauntlet illuminated and let out a pulse of energy. Konda arced into the air and fell on the ground. His chin was burnt. His back arched randomly.

Just then, Konda realized that the evolution didn’t cure the Toxic, it just stalled it. He would need to act quickly.

He jolted up and parried a swing from Angus’ gauntlets blades. They exchanged blows for about a minute before Konda had a brief seizure from the Toxic.

Angus fell on him and muttered, “Poison Jab.”

A large talon extended from his right middle finger and this time, it dripped with a black substance with the consistency of sewage.

“This tahm, ye li’ul spaz, Ah’ll be havin’ ye’re life!’

Just as he began to lunge in for the kill, a blade of blue energy shot out from nowhere next to Angus. It impaled his side, going within inches of his heart. He stood upright as he seized in pain ad once again, a blue blade of energy appeared from nowhere. It hacked down diagonally on his neck. Blood sprayed everywhere as he fell, motionless and wide-eyed, on the dirty floor.

Konda quickly got up and hastily brushed invisible dirt off his shoulders saying, “Future Sight. Works every time.”

He grabbed Angus and teleported to the equipment room. He set down the frog and teleported to the middle of the cave.

“Miracle Eye,” he muttered.

A small tiny speck of red light wafted from his head into the air and disappeared. It reappeared from the south and Konda teleported that way. He saw DarkFur, furless and unconscious, and Winston breathing heavily.

“I’ll be back for you soon buddy,” he whispered.

He grabbed DarkFur and teleported to the equipment room.

He set her down and screamed to the ceiling, “I did what you wanted, Meat Bag! I got your two little demons here. Capture them and give me an antidote for the frog’s poison before I die. You don’t want your precious project dieing, do you? Hurry so I can help the gas ball!”

The mustachioed man stepped through a door hidden by computer panels and dropped two pokéballs on the unconscious creatures. The two figures were engulfed in translucent crimson light. They were sucked into the balls.

The man shrugged and passed the Kadabra two vials. One contained a dark violet mixture and was labeled “Anti-Poison” while the other contained a light brown fluid labeled “Burn Treatment”.

Konda nodded to the man.

The balls wiggled once…

Konda stared at the shaking orbs, then teleported back to Winston.

Twice…
__________________
URPG

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead
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  #9  
Old 11-21-2008, 10:47 PM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Re: Campfire Stories: The Academy

----------__________----------
Targets: Croagunk and Swinub
Difficulty Level: Medium and Medium
Characters needed: 20,000-40,000
Characters currently: 33,892
Status: Ready for Grade
----------__________----------
__________________
URPG

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 11-24-2008 at 01:42 AM.
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  #10  
Old 01-15-2009, 03:37 AM
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Jack of Clovers Offline
~lil leprechaun~
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: the world of fantasy...
Posts: 10,388
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Default Re: Campfire Stories: The Academy

Sorry you've waited this long.

Story:
I like the idea of telling stories as a way of introducing these characters. It’ll be interesting to find out how they all met together. I’m also interested to see what happens with the main story once the flashback stories are over with.

Looks like Konda is still fighting for his freedom. The man is quite despicable, even I’d like to rough him up a bit. I enjoyed this test. An Abra and Gastly would make a great tricky battling duo: one being invisible, and one teleporting. It’s a nice story development, as we learn more about why the man is doing all this, and where Konda first got his armor. Can’t wait to see the day he escapes. And each of the four Pokemon had very unique personalities, which really added to the story.

Details:
I enjoyed it. Especially during the battle, cause you made it feel alive.

This one hurt me just thinking about it:
Quote:
A white light burst from his hand and sank into his dented, brown chest. He felt his lung re-inflate as his energy forced his ribs back into a natural position. He took a clean gasp of air as his chest finally felt regular again. The dent on his sternum rose and leveled out, but still the burn mark from his Dynamic Punch remained on his chest.
Grammar:
Quote:
Keyboards stood about two feet of the ground and lined the room with unreadable runes.
of –> off

Battle:
Vivid, creative, and fun to read. The attack details really gives the reader something to watch. The dialogue was also not overdone, and added to the battle context. Great job.

Tips:
You’re doing just fine. The only tip I have is for you to keep going.

Other:
Konda evolved!

Outcome:

Croagunk Caught!
Swinub Caught!

~Jack~
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Thanks PE2K for all the memories.

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