Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 06-26-2008, 04:17 AM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default [Fan fic of the year 2008 Nominee] I'm Sixteen Years Old...

...And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey



Author's Note: Hey everyone. Just a short little intro from me before I get going. Uhm... I was going to wait for a little feedback from the Author's Corner Ideas/Premises board, but I'm too excited to get this started, so I'm just going to go ahead and post. I started this story on another Pokemon forum, but I let it die. =P I recently rediscovered it and I want to start it again because I really enjoyed writing it, so I chose PE2K to revive it. It was semi-popular on the old forum, and I've done some major rewriting and editing and what not, so hopefully some of you can enjoy it here. I was browsing around at some other stories in this forum, and I think I'm a little more long-winded than a few other authors, so hopefully "I'm 16..." is interesting enough to hold you for the entire thing. Comments, criticisms, reviews, any type of feedback at all is appreciated. I'm 17 in real life, so I can take whatever you throw at me. ;D Writing is something that I'd really like to pursue later in life as well, so constructive criticism is really what I'd like to see.

Okay, it's show time! -deep breath- I'm a bit nervous, so here it is: the first installment of "I'm Sixteen Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey." Enjoy!


Chapter One: It Must Come With Turning Sixteen… (Part A)

Beeeeeep! Beeeeep! Beeeeep! A small black alarm clock blared in an attempt to awaken its owner. After a few more beeps, an arm appeared from under a mass of covers on a bed next to the table that the clock was sitting on. Very ungracefully, said arm moved towards the clock and hovered over it for a moment before dropping on it. The hand moved across the clock's surface and slapped it gently a couple of times until its fingers found the ‘Off’ switch. The beeping ceased and the arm retreated back underneath the covers.

The peace was short-lived, however, as a little brown furry thing soon leapt up onto the bed. It too disappeared under the covers, but soon after a shout could be heard.

"Augh! Eevee, quit it! Sheesh, a girl can't even get a little extra sleep on her birthday. Her sweet sixteenth no less…" The covers were pulled back, and a girl rose from the bed, the Eevee under her arm. "It should be illegal to have to wake up before nine on your birthday," she muttered, casting a dirty look towards the alarm clock. Six thirty three, it read. And that was AM, mind you. The girl walked groggily towards the bathroom in the hall, and put Eevee down on the floor outside the door. Closing it quietly, she flicked on the light and took a glance at her reflection. Her normally wavy light brown hair was flat to her head from sleeping on it. She had had some interesting dreams last night, thus causing a restless sleep.

"It probably all comes with turning sixteen…" she told herself as she pulled out her toothbrush and began brushing her teeth. She emerged a few minutes later with her hair pulled back in a long ponytail and glasses on her face, and headed back to her room. The Eevee that had been waiting patiently by the bathroom door followed. She walked to her closet and pulled out a pair of ripped up, worn in jeans and a stained t-shirt and changed. On her way out of her room, she grabbed a pair of sneakers that obviously had countless miles on them, and headed down the steps.

"I can't believe the moms wouldn't give me off on even my sixteenth birthday, buddy," the girl said in a whiny tone, throwing a glance back at the Eevee. It was still following her.

"Well, good morning to you, too, Aletris!" said a woman, about the same height as the girl, who was coming towards the stairs. The girl, Aletris, blushed.

"Morning mother dearest!" she said sweetly, as if she had never made her previous comment.

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "Happy sweet sixteenth, sweetheart," she replied, dropping her motherly "I don't like your tone" look and replacing it with a smile. She spread her arms and gave her daughter a hug.

"Thanks, Mom," Aletris said. She took a step back, expecting her mother to say more.

Instead, she laughed. "No, you're not getting out of ranch chores." She watched Aletris's face fall. "I'm sorry, darling, but there's too much to do."

Aletris let out an over-dramatic sigh. "Alright," she said as she sat down on the steps and began to tie her sneakers. "It was worth a shot, though," she added as her mother walked away. Aletris tied the last knot and stood. "Ready buddy? Let's get it done quick so we can chill later." Aletris headed towards the back door a little faster than usual. Eevee moved at a jog to keep up with her. She jumped down the steps and followed a worn path through some trees and to the ranch.

The ranch, in case you were wondering, was a huge plot of land behind the Latria household, located northwest of the National Park outside Goldenrod. It was just off of Route 39. Aletris's grandparents, her mother's parents, had owned the ranch back in the day. When they weren't able to handle it anymore, they passed it down to their daughter, Samantha (also known as Aletris's mom) and her husband, Andrew (aka Aletris's dad). Aletris's grandparents still lived on the ranch, just in a smaller, cottage-like house next door.

The ranch wasn't just a ranch, though; it served as a big breeding facility as well. Aletris's parents had herds of almost every Pokemon imaginable. Nothing legendary, of course, and nothing really rare. Only species that were common in Johto, Kanto, and Hoenn. Pokemon such as Heracross, Pikachu, Butterfree, Pidgey, Torchic, Chikorita, Sentret, etcetera. There were tons of Pokemon on the ranch, and every morning and every night, Aletris's job was to fill the water buckets, feed bins, and occasionally groom the furrier inhabitants of the ranch. Then she was to go to the breeding barn and check on the Pokemon they were keeping for other trainers who had left them there while they went on their journeys, whether to be bred or otherwise. Her parents took care of everything else. Aletris’s dad did all the heavy-lifting, physical mumbo-jumbo, like cleaning the barns and taking care of the filters and such for the ponds where the water Pokemon lived. Her mother was more of the medical person, treating Pokemon who were showing signs of illness and watching over the newly hatched. She also handled the actual business side of the ranch, dealing with paperwork and customers and the aforementioned journeying trainers.

That was something Aletris always wanted to do. Go on a Pokemon journey. She wanted to travel, be out from under her parents' wings, see the world. Be independent. She wanted to become famous, and prove to them that she could do just fine on her own.

At first, helping out on the Latria Family Ranch was the highlight of young Aletris’s life. In recent days, however, she had grown so used to her life working with her parents on the ranch that it had become boring, like that new toy you got for Christmas. By the time the middle of January rolled around, you were bored with it. That's how Aletris currently felt, and she was dying for something new.

But alas, her ideas of independence and dreams of traveling did not go over well with her parents. She remembered the day she shared her aspirations with them, the day after her tenth birthday. The day when most ten year old kids bid farewell to their parents and embark on the journey of a lifetime.

"Aletris, you're just too young," her mother said.
"It's dangerous out there, Ale, not like here at home where you're safe," her father said.

Her grandparents were the only ones on her side. Especially her grandmother.

"Samantha, I really think you should consider it," she had said. "After all, it would be a great experience for Aletris."

Still her parents protested.

"Aw, let the kid have some fun, Sammy!" said her grandfather to her mother that day.

Her parents had sat her down that evening, six years ago, and gave her their list of reasons why she was not allowed to go. The major ones included her being too young, ill-prepared, and the whole idea being too dangerous. She also remembered her father saying something to the effect of, "What would you do if you got attacked, Ale? Or robbed?"

And this was the kicker, her mother's closing statement.

"No ten year old should be allowed to travel by themselves."

She recalled her first thought: Even though millions of ten year olds are currently gallivanting around the world on their journeys… whatever, Mom.

Aletris also remembered going to bed crying that night. Her grandparents did their grandparent-ly duty and tried their best to console her.

"One day, sweetie, you'll go on your journey. We promise," were the words of her grandmother.

"We'll buy you all your gear, honey. Don't worry," stated her grandfather.

It must have been enough, Aletris thought, since I settled for it. Ah well. Maybe she really would go on her journey someday. After all, at eighteen she was legally considered an adult, and her parents would have no say in what she did and didn’t do…

Meanwhile, she had other things to do. Like kick back and chil-lax on her sweet sixteenth. Aletris headed towards the feed shed, Eevee still following at her heels. The sun was up now, and it was very bright and peaceful. The grass was still wet from the dew of the previous night; she could feel it through her sneakers. She opened the door to the shed and stepped inside.

Aletris emerged a few moments later with a wheelbarrow loaded with five twenty-pound bags of custom blend PokeChow. It was her mother’s recipe, and with the connections Samantha Latria had at the mill, all she had to do was provide the ingredients and the staff made it for her. Her mom was good with that stuff too, knowing herbs and what not for healing and providing the right vitamins and minerals for Pokemon. Eevee hopped up on top of the bags and looked for an open one, hoping to snag a kibble before breakfast.

Their first stop was the fire Pokemon enclosure. There was a little barn in the middle of the field where the Pokemon could go at night or during bad weather. And of course, it was this little barn where the Pokemon went to eat and drink.

Aletris had the procedure down to a science. The problem: Getting the hose out to the barn at the same time as the feed, so as not to make two trips, and thus, saving time. Solution: If you tied the hose loosely around the handle of the wheelbarrow, you could just go right out. Ah, the things you can accomplish with critical thinking skills!

She opened the gate, dragged the wheelbarrow through, and closed it. Wouldn't want any escapees now, would we? Aletris trudged across the field, struggling with the wheelbarrow’s weight. The Pokemon were friendly towards her, as her appearance in their territory was an everyday thing. Besides, there was an old saying, something like: "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." In this case, it was: "Don't bite the sixteen year old girl (whose parents are overprotective but still let her walk through a fenced in area of fire-type Pokemon when she could be charbroiled any second) that feeds you." Yeah, there was some real logic at work there.

Aletris finally came up to the small barn. She twisted off the nozzle on the hose and let the water trough fill, then tore open a bag of PokeChow and heaved it up into another bin upside down. The Pokemon, knowing that her arrival generally meant it was chow time, hovered nearby and wandered over slowly when the sound of the kibbles falling into the empty container reached their ears. There was another container lower at the ground (for the smaller Pokemon), and Aletris filled this one as well, and moved the hose to fill accompanying water bin.

As soon as the water reached a suitable level, Aletris recapped the hose, gathered the empty bags, and wheeled out of the shelter as the Pokemon moved in.

She repeated this same task several more times, for the grass, normal, electric, and fighting/rock/steel Pokemon pastures. Then she headed in to the aviary. Now, it wasn't just bird Pokemon that were kept here. Bug types, other flying types, and grass types resided here as well, just as they would all live together in the wild. Out of all the bins she had to fill, all the enclosures she had to trek through, this one was her favorite. It was just a large old pole barn, really, with trees planted inside it, grass, flowers, and other shrubbery growing on the floor, and perches sticking out here and there. Lamps and skylights gave the flora the necessities to live, and a sprinkler system went off every so often as well. The bird Pokemon were extremely friendly towards her, often landing on her shoulder as she completed her daily tasks. The only downside to this part of the day was that besides the large bins on the barn floor, there were numerous cups to fill, and all at different heights for the flying types. Aletris had to climb to get to some of them, while juggling both the hose and the bag of PokeChow.

She made her way up a ladder to her most loathed cup, the highest one. This one was fixed way up at the top of the barn, and Aletris was almost certain no Pokemon ate out of this one, except an old Fearow. This bird was constantly perched in this general location, and like an old man sitting on his porch, was not at all social, and it hated Aletris. Or, if it did like her, she didn't want to see how it treated those it did not like. The old bird was perched in its usual position near the cup, waiting to eat.

"Why don't you just fly to a different cup, you lazy bird!" Aletris complained to it scornfully. She looked down at the ground where Eevee was sitting with a Pidgey. It seemed like they were carrying on a good conversation. Aletris gulped. The pair of Pokemon looked so small, and she and heights weren't exactly the best of friends. "Humph," Aletris pouted as she emptied the last bit of PokeChow into the cup and let the bag fall to the ground. She glanced at the old Fearow- it was eyeing her up, looking like it had something planned. Sure enough, it took a small step sideways, towards her, on the perch, and puffed up its feathers aggressively.

"Chil-lax, old man. I'll be done in a minute," Quickly, she let a little water fall into the cup beside it and screwed on the cap, but not quickly enough. The Fearow launched itself at Aletris, spread its wings, and began pecking at her.

"AGH! YOU CRAZY BIRD!" Aletris bellowed. "GET OFF!" She dropped the hose to the floor and gripped the ladder, not wanting to fall. Heights weren't her thing to begin with. With her free arm she waved wildly, an attempt to fend off the bird, but to no avail. Eevee jumped at the sound of its beloved master's cry and began wailing. There was no way it could get up to help her. Instead, it circled the ladder frantically, looking up at Aletris and jumping. The Pidgey watched the scene amusedly, curious as to what would become of the show.


Author's Note: -insert sigh of relief here- So there you have it. Now go ahead and let ME have it: tell it how it is, no sugar-coating anything! I want to improve, not just be a sucky writer for the rest of my life. If this chapter goes over well, I'll post the next one within a week or so. So, er, yeah. Hope you liked it, please feel free to share your opinions (good or bad).

Until next-
Chilly ;D

PS- Please do point out any typos I may have missed. Typos bother me.



Last edited by Chillaxed09; 06-06-2010 at 08:54 PM. Reason: Found a typo.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-26-2008, 04:59 AM
k_pop's Avatar
k_pop Offline
PE2K Website Staff
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Anybody seen my house?
Posts: 6,588
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

This story sounds really good. There are a lot of trainer fics, but the fact that this one starts different may give it an edge. I hope you post the next chapter.

I'll go through it again later to look for typos. ^^
__________________
avvie and banner from the awesome bff Gem ^^
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-26-2008, 03:13 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
This story sounds really good. There are a lot of trainer fics, but the fact that this one starts different may give it an edge. I hope you post the next chapter.

I'll go through it again later to look for typos. ^^
Why thank you! I will probably be posting again next Monday or Tuesday. ;D Thanks for the feedback.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-26-2008, 06:40 PM
scalec's Avatar
scalec Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Total Drama Island. And I will win!
Posts: 1,464
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

You know, Orginally when I was reading the first part I just thought this was going to be one of those, "Trainer can't go but then they sneak out with absoultley no story line" story, but you proved me wrong. This is great! I can't wait to see what else is going to happen!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-26-2008, 08:17 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Quote:
Originally Posted by scalec View Post
You know, Orginally when I was reading the first part I just thought this was going to be one of those, "Trainer can't go but then they sneak out with absoultley no story line" story, but you proved me wrong. This is great! I can't wait to see what else is going to happen!
xD Glad I suprised you. And thanks for the compliment, I hope I don't dissapoint you with the next one. ;D
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-26-2008, 08:34 PM
Camisado's Avatar
Camisado Offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 49
Send a message via ICQ to Camisado Send a message via AIM to Camisado Send a message via MSN to Camisado Send a message via Skype™ to Camisado
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors myself - good job! =)

I was also dubious at the beginning, as "older than canon" trainer fics can go one way or the other, but you've really done it well so far =D I'll be watching this an be sure to comment as the story progresses!
__________________

Shamouti (companion site to fanfic) | Camisado.co.uk
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-27-2008, 01:40 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Quote:
Originally Posted by Camisado View Post
Didn't see any spelling or grammatical errors myself - good job! =)

I was also dubious at the beginning, as "older than canon" trainer fics can go one way or the other, but you've really done it well so far =D I'll be watching this an be sure to comment as the story progresses!
Thanks. ;D I always read through my stuff like a hundred times. Typos/grammar stuff makes you seem really unprofessional. =P

Again, thanks. I have a feeling you might be surprised as the story progresses. ;D
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-28-2008, 05:47 AM
k_pop's Avatar
k_pop Offline
PE2K Website Staff
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Anybody seen my house?
Posts: 6,588
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

I was just thinking. I almost didn't read your fic for a stupid reason... the title was really long.
Maybe you could shorten it a little. ^^'
My Lit professor always said to take the most important points, and lose everything else. Sorry, maybe that doesn't help.
__________________
avvie and banner from the awesome bff Gem ^^
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-28-2008, 01:37 PM
miler567's Avatar
miler567 Offline
Amateur Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 95
Send a message via Yahoo to miler567
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

This is pretty good. I'm highly anticipating the next chapter
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 06-28-2008, 01:45 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Quote:
Originally Posted by k_pop View Post
I was just thinking. I almost didn't read your fic for a stupid reason... the title was really long.
Maybe you could shorten it a little. ^^'
My Lit professor always said to take the most important points, and lose everything else. Sorry, maybe that doesn't help.
Nonsense! All suggestions are helpful in one way or another. =)

Thanks for your input. I dunno... I'm quite fond of the title. There were a few reasons I made it that way, actually. (This discussion was had on the old forum as well. ;D) I feel that it adds a little humor to the story, and kind of gives the basic premise of the whole thing. Originally, I meant for it to be a sort of satire of those shows, like Maury and Jerry Springer that are like, "I slept with my husband's brother and now I don't know who the father of my kid is!"

Eh... maybe it's not as humorous as I originally thought? And I also thought like, "I don't want people to see a decent title and then be prepared for an equally decent story, so I'll give it a silly name and maybe people will be impressed that the quality of my writing is way above the quality of that title." Low self confidence, I suppose?

Plus, if any of my old readers happen to come upon it, they'd remember it right away. </wishfulthinking>

If I can think of a shorter one that I like as much as the current one, I'll change it. xD I generally refer to this story as "I'm Sixteen..." anyway. Maybe I'll leave that in the title and then in the first line of the first post just continue it with the rest behind an elipse... Would that be better?

Something to think about, and as always, thank you for the suggestion. ;D

Edit: Thanks, miler567. =) Didn't see yours before I posted. Glad I could entertain you for a bit.

Last edited by Chillaxed09; 06-28-2008 at 01:47 PM. Reason: Someone posted while I was typing up my own reply. I don't like to ignore people. =)
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-29-2008, 04:06 AM
k_pop's Avatar
k_pop Offline
PE2K Website Staff
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Anybody seen my house?
Posts: 6,588
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Hey, I said it was a stupid reason didn't I? If you made it that way on purpose, don't let me tell you to change it.
__________________
avvie and banner from the awesome bff Gem ^^
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-30-2008, 02:08 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Author's Note: Me again. From the feedback I got, it seemed like the first chapter was a success, so here's chapter two. Enjoy, and hopefully you won't be disappointed. ;D

Chapter 2: It Must Come With Turning Sixteen… (Part B)

The grouchy Fearow was still pecking madly away at Aletris. She closed her eyes so that the crazed bird wouldn't claw them out, and made her way down slowly. Easy now, slow, she told herself, still swinging her arm hopelessly at the bird. But wait- her attention was grabbed by something that swooshed across the hand holding onto the ladder. It was on her arm now, she could still feel it. Aletris opened her eyes, and to her immediate horror, there was a Spinarak on her shoulder. It was right there in front of her face!

"Aaaaaaeeeeh!" she shrieked. She despised bugs, and Pokemon that resembled them, and this thing was touching her! It was almost touching her face!

The sixteen year old now flung her other arm, a natural reaction, in an attempt to shake off the spider-like Pokemon. The ladder swayed threateningly. Aletris was still pretty close to the top, she hadn't made it down too many rungs when the Spinarak decided to attack. Eevee whined even louder, desperate to help its trainer, who was still shrieking like a banshee. All the flying Pokemon in the aviary were aflutter now, disturbed from their perches. The stupid Fearow was still pecking at her, and the accursed Spinarak was still stuck on her arm.

Aletris gave one final, desperate twirling motion, but it was too much for the ladder. It swung backward, away from the side of the barn, and continued to fall. The Fearow flew off and retreated back to its perch, and Aletris could see that she was falling. If there had been any question that she was screaming before, she certainly was now.

"Eee, vee! Eeee!" Eevee cried as it watched Aletris’s rapid descent.

Time seemed to stand still for Aletris. The ground was rushing closer and closer, but it seemed to be going slower to her. Or at least that was the illusion, until she finally landed. A loud thud echoed in the aviary, and all the Pokemon came out of their hiding places to see what had shaken their home.

Aletris lay on her back, sprawled on the ground, not moving.

"Owww!" she whined.

She blinked a few times, and finally opened her eyes. She looked to her right, and there was Eevee sitting beside her, a concerned look on its face. Who says humans are the only ones with emotions? She turned her head to the other side, but her gaze fell on something dangling in front of her face. Aletris blinked a few more times, and when her eyes focused, it was that damned Spinarak hanging from its web!

"Arrrghhhh!" Aletris yelled, sitting up and swatting angrily at the bug Pokemon. It quickly withdrew its sticky web and rose back up towards the ceiling. "You better run!" she yelled up to it. "I'm gonna smash you the next time you come within a fly swatter's range!" she added, shaking a fist.

"Eee!" Eevee squealed, jumping into her lap. It was glad that Aletris was okay. She laid a hand on its head and patted it comfortingly. The experience was probably more traumatic for it than it was for her. The two went way back.

Aletris looked around again. The ladder had landed a few feet away from her. She looked up at the stupid cup she had been filling when the Fearow attacked. There it sat, that stupid, stupid bird, eating happily and watching Aletris suffer.

"That's it, I'm done!" she yelled, making the gathered Pokemon step beck a couple feet. Aletris stood up, grabbed the ladder and dragged it off to the side of the barn, gathered the hose and wheelbarrow, plopped Eevee inside, and wheeled away. She was about halfway towards the feed shed when her father found her. He was tall, a couple inches taller than Aletris, and had a strong build. It was the body of a rancher.

"Aletris! What was all the screaming about? You know the Pokemon in the aviary don't like loud noise-" he began, but Aletris cut him off.

"That psycho Fearow went off and started attacking me!" she shouted back at her father. "And then this crazy Spinarak decided to join in! And I fell off the ladder, Dad! Hit the ground like a sack of rocks!"

"Are the Pokemon alright?" her father replied coolly, brushing some of his dark hair out of his face.

"I FELL OFF OF A LADDER, DAD! AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS WHETHER THE CAUSES OF YOUR ONLY CHILD'S NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE ARE OKAY?!"

Her father sighed, and a smile appeared on his face. Aletris looked at him, outraged. "Just be more careful next time, hun. I'm sure it won't happen again. Don't forget to feed the water Pokemon, and check on the ones at the care center."

Before Aletris could utter another sound, he had walked off towards the Aviary, probably to make sure Aletris hadn't killed the Fearow. She watched him go. He was almost at the door when he turned around and waved back at her. "By the way, happy birthday, honey!" he shouted.

"Erg!" Aletris growled. "Some birthday this is so far!" She spun the wheelbarrow around and took off, annoyed, towards the lake where the water Pokemon were kept.

The lake had a nice, sandy shore, and the water was cool and clean. The thing Aletris liked about this enclosure was that she didn't have to fill a water container. Instead, she dumped a bag and a half of PokeChow into a bin while Eevee made small talk with a Totodile.

"Come on Eevee, one more stop," Aletris called as she wheeled away. Eevee quickly followed after her, sensing its owner's bad mood.

The safest place by far was the clinic. This was where trainers left their Pokemon to be looked after, and even bred in the hopes of getting an egg. The place looked like a Pokemon Center in the front entrance, but in the back it was connected to a large, newer barn, where the Pokemon were kept. This was the easiest place to work. All Aletris had to do was check to see if there were any eggs in the mini-enclosures, and make sure that there was water and food in the cups. After quickly filling the ones that needed it, and making sure there were no eggs, she hustled out of the building and ran with the empty wheelbarrow to the shed, Eevee clinging to her shoulder. Aletris dropped the wheelbarrow near the door and closed it, then made her way quickly back to the house. She didn't want to get roped into any more work today.

Aletris let herself in the back of the house and snuck upstairs. She knew that if she could make it to the bathroom without anyone seeing, then later on she would use the excuse that she already took a shower and couldn't do any more work. She looked at her clock. It was almost eight. Aletris put Eevee down on the floor and went to her closet. She grabbed a pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt and headed quickly to the bathroom. Victory.

While in the shower, Aletris pondered the rest of her day. She would groom her Pokemon, something she always enjoyed, and then relax. She couldn't wait. Then her thoughts traveled to the night before. She’d had a dream about something that happened when she was thirteen. Maybe it’s what happens when you turn sixteen, she thought, you go back and relive some of your happier childhood memories. The dream was of the time when she evolved her Pokemon. Yes, Aletris had a team of six well trained Pokemon. Her parents may have denied her a journey, but they couldn’t find any dangers in letting her raise a few Pokemon of her own. They were her pride and joy, and one of the reasons she wanted to go on a journey. To make them stronger.

Anyway, going back to the dream, it was the day Aletris decided to evolve her Pokemon. Her parents had given her six Eevee for her thirteenth birthday (after all, what harm could a couple of fluffy little Eevee possibly accomplish?). All six had been bred and hatched on the ranch just for the purpose of giving them to Aletris. After months of meticulous training (with the hope that if her parents saw how well she could handle them, they’d reconsider the whole journeying thing), she felt they were ready to evolve. Aletris remembered vividly how she laid out the Thunder Stone, Fire Stone, and Water Stone before the six brown Pokemon and let them choose what they wanted to become. Cute, right? One of them burst into a flash of light right on the spot and turned into an Espeon, and three of the others walked up to the stones and upon touching them, burst into flashes of light similar to the first and become Vaporeon, Jolteon, and Flareon. Later that evening, one of the remaining Eevee became Umbreon. Then there was one left, the very same one that had been following Aletris around all day today. It had been the smallest of the group, and therefore needed extra care from Aletris, hence their strong connection and Eevee's panic attack when Aletris was in danger.

All the more reason Aletris wished she could take the group on a journey. Not only would it make the team stronger physically, but emotionally.

She finished her shower with thoughts of traveling the world with her team dancing through her mind. Aletris dried off and dressed and blow-dried her hair, which returned to its natural poofy waviness. Then she opened the door and returned to her room, where Eevee was waiting for her, joined by the rest of the group.

"Nice to see you guys all woke up," she said to the other five as they were stretching and yawning sleepily. Eevee must have found them and gotten them up. Aletris liked to let them sleep wherever they wanted, despite her parents' protest.

She walked over to her dresser and picked up a jewelry box-like case off the top of it. She sat down on the floor, opened the lid, and took out a brush. She was about to call Flareon over to be groomed when a shout could be heard from downstairs.

"Aletris!" It was her mom. "Aletris! Come down here!"

"Coming!" Aletris yelled back. The five evolutions gave her dirty looks, for they were still getting used to being awake. Aletris stood up and exited her room, followed by her Pokemon. She went down the steps and turned the corner, went through the messy dining room and into the kitchen. Her mother and father were there, as well as her grandparents. There was a cake on the table, and a stack of colorfully wrapped gifts on the floor. Aletris could feel a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.


Author's Note: Well, there it is. Hopefully I lived up to expectations. As always, comments, questions, feedback, suggestions, and typo corrections are appreciated. Next update.... next weekend sometime. =)
Until next,
Chilly ;D
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-30-2008, 03:41 PM
miler567's Avatar
miler567 Offline
Amateur Trainer
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 95
Send a message via Yahoo to miler567
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Pretty good chapter although her dad's indifference about her fall was a little disturbing
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-30-2008, 05:20 PM
Chillaxed09's Avatar
Chillaxed09 Offline
Experienced Trainer
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My desk... probably writing. ;D
Posts: 161
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Quote:
Originally Posted by miler567 View Post
Pretty good chapter although her dad's indifference about her fall was a little disturbing
xD Yeah, well she was up and walking around, right? That's just how he is. He's not really a major character anyway, so I didn't really play much with him. Hehe. He only makes like two appearances in the entire thing.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-30-2008, 05:42 PM
Jael Offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 24
Default Re: I'm 16 Years Old And I've Only Just Now Started My Pokemon Journey

Wow, this is really good. I'm a fan. =]
Keep it up, and good luck.
__________________
My VPP

Hatch:33
Vibrava:123
Flygon:153
Level 100:318
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:09 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com