The Chuck Norris Game

[Lord Fedora]

Q: If you have one hundred pounds of lead and one hundred pounds of feathers, which weighs more?
A: They both weigh one hundred pounds, so therefore they weigh the same.

Q: If you have one hundred pounds of lead and one hundred pounds of Chuck Norris, which weighs more?
A: Chuck Norris, obviously.
Questioner: No, they both way one hundred pounds, so they way the saaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA...... *hits the sun after being roundhouse kicked*

[Mawile-Danmaku]

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of him.

[Ah Beng I the Pikabeng]

Originally Posted by hobbesses

one tenth of a Chuck Norris Round House Kick is roughly equal to the power of 20 atomic bombs going off at once in one location.

Nope. 1/∞ of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is equal to the power of ∞ atomic bombs going off at once in one location, when the power is concentrated on one spot. In other words, such a kick's power equals to <square of ∞> atomic bombs detonated in this manner,


Chuck Norris does not get gangrene. Gangrene gets Chuck Norris.

[Lord Fedora]

Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee. Particularly if you've done something to piss off Chuck Norris in the last five seconds.

[Ah Beng I the Pikabeng]

When carrying out chemical experiments, Chuck Norris always gets over 100% of the theoretical yield.

[Lord Fedora]

In math, 2+2=4. Unless Chuck Norris is doing the problem. Then it's whatever the hell he wants it to be.

[Kenzee]

If you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything = 1; 1 Roundhouse kick to the face.


Chuck Norris asked for a Big Mac at Burger King. And got one.


Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.


Jesus walked on water. Chuck Norris swam through land.

Knock Knock!
Chuck Norris

[The Admiral GiMoo]

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.

Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.

Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.

[Lord Fedora]

As it stands, only Chuck Norris has the power to come up with an original Chuck Norris joke.

[The Admiral GiMoo]

Chuck Norris once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard

Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris wears Orion's Belt around his pinky toe and he eats with the Big Dipper.

[Ah Beng I the Pikabeng]

Originally Posted by gimoo

The Seven Wonders of the ancient world were: Chuck Norris' left and right hands, his left and right feet, his belly button, his liver, and his beard

And so are the modern and natural and overall (or whatever) wonders of the world, you've forgotten.


Oh, I've forgotten to quote some stuff.

Originally Posted by ThEcHaMpIoNoFsApPhIrE

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. You forget that he's the only one with eyelids who can do that.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter
These 2 are epic fail. You're stating what people with high willpower and sharp senses respectively can simply do.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.There is a force equal to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick; it is his own roundhouse kick. However, it does not dare to counter Chuck Norris.

[Starkipraggy]

Chuck Norris has fourteen Top Ten facts. :D

[Ah Beng I the Pikabeng]

Here's what really happened during the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. I couldn't believe even I was fooled.

After crushing Batman's head in between his thighs, Chuck Norris quickly switched places with Mr. Rogers, making Mr. Rogers look exactly like him and vice versa, then when Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and Monty Python and the holy Grail's Black Knight, etc "all came out of nowhere lightning fast and kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass", it was actually Mr. Rogers' ass being kicked. The champion, who was said to be Mr. Rogers, was actually Chuck Norris. Then Chuck removed his disguise and Mr. Rogers' disguise and moved Mr. Rogers' body like a puppet. Hence the concluding animations.

EDIT: I have another theory. chuck Norris really was the one who got kicked "in his cowboy ass", but he camouflaged within them as one of them, and he killed them offscreen. The pool of blood you see is actually from whoever Chuck Norris killed and pretended to be. Why he didn't kill Mr. Rogers could allow for more theories though... Did he deem it too sissy or was he really Mr. Rogers or...

[Starkipraggy]

Chuck Norris can win in chess with just one king against a full army because whatever king he uses has a special move: the roundhouse kick. This move eliminates all other pieces from the board by miniaturising Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick. After victory has been achieved, the board disintegrates as well.

[Ah Beng I the Pikabeng]

Everywhere else, Chuck Norris owns you. In Soviet Russia... Chuck Norris still owns you. Because Soviet Russia is afraid of Chuck Norris. Even on home ground. Wait, everywhere is the home ground of Chuck Norris.