Member List
Calendar
F.A.Q.
Search
Log Out
Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000  
 

Go Back   Pokemon Forum - Pokemon Elite 2000 » Interactive Boards » Creative Writing

Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #331  
Old 04-08-2010, 11:35 PM
Sheepat's Avatar
Sheepat Offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Sheep Land
Posts: 1,544
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Great chapter! Also, there was a mistake that I found: When you explained the bibarel as two types, it should be "dual types" (Unless I'm wrong)

A good chapter, all in all. I read this last night, so I had a dream about it (again, though I can't remember it)
__________________
Once known as riolu42
  #332  
Old 04-09-2010, 12:09 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by riolu42 View Post
Great chapter! Also, there was a mistake that I found: When you explained the bibarel as two types, it should be "dual types" (Unless I'm wrong)

A good chapter, all in all. I read this last night, so I had a dream about it (again, though I can't remember it)
Thank you! Ahh, you're right! xD I'll go and fix that right now; thanks!

Hehe, thank you. ;3 xDDD That's awesome! Haha, I remember your last dream about it. xD With the fly who had a crush on Dusty. xDDD

Thanks for reading! :D

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #333  
Old 04-09-2010, 01:57 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


xDDD Yeah, I always loved that in shows and I'm glad I got to do it..and to Dusty. xDDD


Dusty: Hey! T^T

Well, actually, the battle instructor and the leader (Boon) were supposed to be two different characters. Dx But oh well. xD I didn't really make that clear, I guess. ;P Apart from the fact that Boon can't really have been in the hut and then have magically teleported to the hut that the instructor was in. xD Yeah, I really wanted to include that. I never really had anything against bidoof and bibarel (unlike a lot of people. Dx), and although I made them look silly and childish, they also seem like friendly and almost harmless pokemon, so I wanted to show that there. x)
o: Hehehehe, I don't know when I'll introduce him properly... Maybe the chapter after the next. ^^

xDD Well the 'with' thing was saying: "He had a stick in his maw he used to point to certain marked areas with on the mud-board he had behind him." Like, saying that he pointed to the marked areas with the stick. I didn't know how else to word it. Dx I know it sounds funny, but it makes sense if you read it a few times over. xD

Yeah. xD I use 'random' as a noun and 'a random' refers to a random person (or pokemon in this case). xD It's probably not correct, but since it's from Dusty's point of view I think I'll leave it. xD

Well, she was saying that she chose to run that way, but I wrote 'picked' instead. xD I'll change it.

xDDD That time. xD

xDDD Haha, yeah, she's not fond of 'em. xD Haha, muttering things under her breath. xD

Thanks! It's a sound I make sometimes too, but I think it's better said that written. xD

xDDD Yeah, like they had nibbled on the important things that were used on a significant map. xD

Haha!!! xDDDD Yeah, imaginative alright! I think I wrote it originally intending to give a figure, but like that bibarel I didn't really know. xD So it was kinda a mockery of both me and him. xD

xDDD Actually, again that was something I typed but realised it myself, so Dusty said what I was thinking...and what I realised. xDDDD

Thank you! 8D Yeah, the way I see it Dusty was way too focused and she couldn't back down while she was on the ship, because of how serious the situation was, but now that she's off it and has had time to think about the awful things that happened not only to the innocent pokemon, but to everyone she helped faint or...kill as well. I'll go more into that during the next few chapters. x)

xD Yeah! Yeah, you're right--she kinda had to. And I don't think Zhol would have been very happy with her if she'd have left, since her colony and theirs are friends and all. And also, since a deal was made Dusty kinda wanted to get it over and done with and she knew she'd be let go without a hassle...not that she isn't familiar with hassles. xD Yeah! I was actually having trouble figuring out a solution myself, but when I tried to think how Zhol would it all came together and I came up with something. xD
o: Yeah, I thought her appearance might be a surprise. x) xD Well they didn't have time! Thanks, haha, she sure hates water a lot. xD Yeah...but they must be pretty terrible memories. D:

:DDD I can't wait to write about him! So close. xD

Thanks for reading! ^v^ *megaglomps*

~Flareon.
XDDD

Oh, oops, I didn't know that. D= And yeah, I don't have anything against them either, and I like how you made them care about each other! Okay!

Oh, okay.

Well, it kind of confused me. XD

Haha, that's really funny that you didn't know the time either so you left it like that. XDDD

Oh, okay, that makes sense!

Oh yeah, I forgot that Zhol wouldn't be happy...well at least she got it over with!

I'm so excited to read about him!

You're welcome!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
  #334  
Old 04-09-2010, 03:33 PM
Velocity's Avatar
Velocity Offline
ASB Official
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Land of Night and Magic
Posts: 2,758
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Name: Hinaru
Pokémon species: Aerodactyl
Gender: Female
Age: 13
Any added features: N/A
History and past: Nothing really much. She just is a normal Aerodactyl
Personality: Proud, stubborn, sarcastic. Your average crazy teen girl.
Likes/dislikes:
Likes - Flying, fish, being sarcastic, arguing
Dislikes - Being on the ground, goody-two-shoes Pokemon, loud noises
Fears:Thunder (Loud noises thing)
Level: 23
Attacks: Aerial Ace, Dragon Claw, Fly, Crunch, Glare, Air Cutter
Alliance: Good
__________________
I laughed, I cried, I testified;
And in the end found this world altogether lacking.

Thanks, Speed and Dino and also Speed! :D
  #335  
Old 04-10-2010, 01:27 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeoneeveemoon View Post
Name: Hinaru
Pokémon species: Aerodactyl
Gender: Female
Age: 13
Any added features: N/A
History and past: Nothing really much. She just is a normal Aerodactyl
Personality: Proud, stubborn, sarcastic. Your average crazy teen girl.
Likes/dislikes:
Likes - Flying, fish, being sarcastic, arguing
Dislikes - Being on the ground, goody-two-shoes Pokemon, loud noises
Fears:Thunder (Loud noises thing)
Level: 23
Attacks: Aerial Ace, Dragon Claw, Fly, Crunch, Glare, Air Cutter
Alliance: Good
Cool. ^^ Well, by 'history and past' I meant what happened in her life before she appeared in my story. I really need this because it's a really important aspect of a character. Any by saying 'She just is a normal Aerodactyl', well...I don't know what a normal aerodactyl's life is like, and that doesn't help. D:

I did say I could make an exception...but I'll have to see. x)

Also, a comment on the story would be nice. xD You already commented in the PM, but still. xD

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #336  
Old 04-10-2010, 12:12 PM
Velocity's Avatar
Velocity Offline
ASB Official
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Land of Night and Magic
Posts: 2,758
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


Cool. ^^ Well, by 'history and past' I meant what happened in her life before she appeared in my story. I really need this because it's a really important aspect of a character. Any by saying 'She just is a normal Aerodactyl', well...I don't know what a normal aerodactyl's life is like, and that doesn't help. D:

I did say I could make an exception...but I'll have to see. x)

Also, a comment on the story would be nice. xD You already commented in the PM, but still. xD

~GS.

Okay, well....since it's very scary* and long, I can only comment up to, like, Chapter 7 or whatever.

First of all, my favorite character is not Dusty. I never fall for the main character in stories anyone else's stuff. But I always get obsessed over my mains for some reason.
I like the Quillava, can't remember his name at the moment (something with an R at the beginning) but Dusty IS cool, too. I'm just weird.
Let's make something clear: THIS IS BETTER THAN THE STUFF I WRITE. I hate pretty much everything I write, the exception that proves the rule being Nightrise, which is this story (not Pokemon, the idea was mine originally) that was 187 pages when I wrote it in a notebook.
Grammar, sentence structure, etc., were fine, with only minor typos. Description was good, and I find it kind of cool/amusing that you describe every single Pokemon in great detail instead of just saying 'a Haunter' or 'a Glaceon'.
But there was this thing about it that I can't place that I just didn't like. Either way, whatever it was, I ended up skipping paragraphs because of it. Maybe the story's just not fast enough, like, there's a little too much description?? Or maybe I'm just a lunatic.
*It's not really scary, I'm just kidding.

Oh, and from now on, all my posts will be in blue. I'm not copying you, I wanted to do it for a while.

History: She was raised in a nest on the side of Mount Silver, and there she learned how to be tough and how to hack out a life for herself in the real world. When she was 10, her parents left her to fend for herself. Most Aerodactyls would have left Mount Silver, but she stayed. She learned moves that were rare for a young Aerodactyl to learn, and got exceptionally tough. One day, however, a large flock of Aerodactyls moved into Mount Silver and she was evicted.
Level:47 (changed it!)
__________________
I laughed, I cried, I testified;
And in the end found this world altogether lacking.

Thanks, Speed and Dino and also Speed! :D
  #337  
Old 04-10-2010, 01:20 PM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeoneeveemoon View Post

Okay, well....since it's very scary* and long, I can only comment up to, like, Chapter 7 or whatever.

First of all, my favorite character is not Dusty. I never fall for the main character in stories anyone else's stuff. But I always get obsessed over my mains for some reason.
I like the Quillava, can't remember his name at the moment (something with an R at the beginning) but Dusty IS cool, too. I'm just weird.
Let's make something clear: THIS IS BETTER THAN THE STUFF I WRITE. I hate pretty much everything I write, the exception that proves the rule being Nightrise, which is this story (not Pokemon, the idea was mine originally) that was 187 pages when I wrote it in a notebook.
Grammar, sentence structure, etc., were fine, with only minor typos. Description was good, and I find it kind of cool/amusing that you describe every single Pokemon in great detail instead of just saying 'a Haunter' or 'a Glaceon'.
But there was this thing about it that I can't place that I just didn't like. Either way, whatever it was, I ended up skipping paragraphs because of it. Maybe the story's just not fast enough, like, there's a little too much description?? Or maybe I'm just a lunatic.
*It's not really scary, I'm just kidding.

Oh, and from now on, all my posts will be in blue. I'm not copying you, I wanted to do it for a while.

History: She was raised in a nest on the side of Mount Silver, and there she learned how to be tough and how to hack out a life for herself in the real world. When she was 10, her parents left her to fend for herself. Most Aerodactyls would have left Mount Silver, but she stayed. She learned moves that were rare for a young Aerodactyl to learn, and got exceptionally tough. One day, however, a large flock of Aerodactyls moved into Mount Silver and she was evicted.
Level:47 (changed it!)
xDDD Haha, okay. :3

Well, she doesn't have to be! xD Ahh, I see. His name's Raiys. xD Nah, you're not weird at all! There's no rule that says you have to like the main character. xD But it just helps since its from her point of view. xD
No, don't say that about what you write! D: I really like your stories. ^^ You should be more confident! Wow, that's long!
Haha, thanks. :P I change as I progress with the style of description--in that I don't go into enormous detail, because it's not that necessary, and also I've been told that it kinda put the story on hold before continuing, so it's like a block in the middle of the path and then after the story continues. So maybe that's what you don't like, and that's totally understandable. ^^ Haha, you're not a lunatic. xD Well, the story progresses slow, I know (xD), but I like it that way 'cause I've never been a fan of rushed plots and scenes. But I think you mean it goes slow because of the long descriptions, and I understand that. ^^

Thanks for the feedback! 8D I really appreciate it! But you posted twice. xD

Oh, cool! 8D I'll try to include her. ^^

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #338  
Old 04-10-2010, 02:26 PM
Velocity's Avatar
Velocity Offline
ASB Official
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: The Land of Night and Magic
Posts: 2,758
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


xDDD Haha, okay. :3

Well, she doesn't have to be! xD Ahh, I see. His name's Raiys. xD Nah, you're not weird at all! There's no rule that says you have to like the main character. xD But it just helps since its from her point of view. xD
No, don't say that about what you write! D: I really like your stories. ^^ You should be more confident! Wow, that's long!
Haha, thanks. :P I change as I progress with the style of description--in that I don't go into enormous detail, because it's not that necessary, and also I've been told that it kinda put the story on hold before continuing, so it's like a block in the middle of the path and then after the story continues. So maybe that's what you don't like, and that's totally understandable. ^^ Haha, you're not a lunatic. xD Well, the story progresses slow, I know (xD), but I like it that way 'cause I've never been a fan of rushed plots and scenes. But I think you mean it goes slow because of the long descriptions, and I understand that. ^^

Thanks for the feedback! 8D I really appreciate it! But you posted twice. xD

Oh, cool! 8D I'll try to include her. ^^

~GS.
Yeah, oops...
Hey, guess what happened to me last night!!!! Or did I already tell you?
Btw I like your avie. It's awesome.
  #339  
Old 04-11-2010, 02:30 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by aeoneeveemoon View Post
Yeah, oops...
Hey, guess what happened to me last night!!!! Or did I already tell you?
Btw I like your avie. It's awesome.
No, you didn't tell me. x) But you'd best send me a PM rather than talking about it here.
Thank you. :3

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #340  
Old 06-08-2010, 01:22 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Chapter Sixteen: The What-sters?
This isn't a chapter picture, but it's a picture at least. xD

“A-are you sure...?”

“Yeah; how could she get past Splash? We all know he’s challenged, but...he should have stopped her.”

“Well...she looks nothing like a threat. I don’t th—”

“Huh?” I murmured, inhaling deeply to fuel my lazy self and stand up. My eyes were presenting blurs to me, and I hardly knew what was going on. “I may be small,” I started, sounding like I had trouble speaking for one odd reason or another, “but I’m tough!” I had raised my head for the few words, plonking it back down and feeling liquid squirt onto my face. I then licked it from my nose. “Mmm...oran berry.”

“S-see?” panicked a soft voice, although I wasn’t sure why she sounded that way.

“She looks kinda...out of it...to me,” mentioned another, certain scepticism about her tone.

A few moments passed...and then I snapped open my eyes.

“Waah!” I yelped, startled by the sudden appearance of a group of pokémon, and I hopped to my feet. “Wh—who are you?” I swallowed, my eyes darting between a navy blue pokémon whose body looked plated with armour, a large bird pokémon with puffy, snow-white wings and a tall, and a hovering white thing with blue, purple and red in certain areas. “And where...?” My mind turned as I remembered the night before...when I had not been paying attention to where I crashed...

“The—”

“Usster Colony!” I blurted, and I received surprised glances. I heard only the sound of birds chirping outside and other expected sounds as I waited for someone to reply.

The dark coloured one with an elongated horn protruding from his forehead raised one of his strangely shaped arms, looking about to talk, but the flying type, not noticing his gesture, spoke before he could. “What are you doing here?” She sounded defensive and stern, but I really had nothing to hide or be afraid of. And if need be I could totally take on these three pokémon...possibly.

“Uh...well, see, I—” I felt a fruit squash under my front paw, and I looked down. Then I realised something. The strange shack I had taken shelter in looked to be some sort of storage room for berries. And rotten ones, it looked like.

“You’ve been eating our stash!” the altaria accused, and I flinched in astonishment.

What?” I questioned. ‘And a stash of rotten berries? Seriously?’

“It would make sense,” the heracross mused, a claw on his chin.

“What? N-no!” I wiped my face against my mane – as best I could – to rid it of false evidence. I had only stepped in some; I didn’t eat any of it. “I think you’ve got the wrong idea.”

“I know a thief when I see one,” snapped the flying and dragon type, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Well if you did, you’d know I wasn’t one.” We engaged in a stare-down before my ears twitched.

Rustling could be heard shortly before a voice began saying, “Yukra, where are those—” A bronze figure appeared at the entrance to the room I resided in, her head nearly touching the doorway’s top. As soon as she laid eyes on me, she let out a roar, but to my surprise it was a completely frightened one. She backed away, and a certain fire in her eyes told me that she wasn’t prepared to be friendly to a stranger. “Intruder!” she exclaimed, her eyes wide and her body frozen up. I had no idea what to do or even if I should have done anything, but I knew throwing myself at the wall instead of her doing it for me was an appropriate action. The instant I did, she struck the now-recognisable mound of rotten berries with her enormous claws. For the first time in a few days I was somewhat scared, and I was unable to regain my attention as she dislodged her massive paws from the berries and stormed towards me in a scatter of growls and grunts.

I screamed as I attempted to flee between her legs, ending up being kicked on my way through, and she rebounded off the wall to stomp after me. I zipped out of the room and into the wilderness before the heracross wrapped me in his strong arms and brought me to a stop. I whined as I realised I was restricted and began kicking and struggling. “G-get off! Let me go!” I was desperate to get away, and being held back didn’t do any good.

“Wynore! Stop!” the cloud-bird pokémon protested, spreading her wings to work as visual barriers. I heard a bellow, and presumably the ursaring had halted upon the flying type’s request. “We don’t think she’s a threat,” she continued, attempting to calm the pokémon.

“Yes—please settle down!” the white, red and blue pokémon added. She used a soft and worried tone, much like the first voice I had heard when I woke up. It was probably the same one.

I heard a reluctant snort before I hesitantly edged my eyes into view of the great bear pokémon and the other two. I was relieved to find that her sanity had returned and she seemed to snap out of her frenzy reasonably quickly. She glanced at me and I was too concerned to look away, but then she switched to the altaria’s eyes, a look of uncertainty and suspicion spread across her face. “Are you sure?” she questioned incredulously, her gaze flicking to mine to coat me in a veil of accusatory suspicion. I swallowed again, wondering quietly to myself what would happen next.

“We’re workin’ on it,” the pokémon tightly grasping me answered, no particular harshness about his voice.

“Uh,” I uttered, “can you...can you, uh, loosen your grip, please? It’s a little...um...” The pokémon obeyed and relaxed his hand. “...Tight. Thanks.”

Silence fell upon the five of us before the delicate upright one (whose species I’d never seen before) asked, “What should we do?”

The altaria needed no longer than a moment to decide. “We’ll take her to Habib.”

***

‘Habib?!’ I criticised internally, thinking the name was rather ridiculous—and from what I had guessed, he was a decision maker and intruder-labeller (hence these pokémon taking me to him). Which possibly meant a leader of some kind. Personally I found it a...strange name for an authority figure. But then again, I could be wrong. This ‘Habib’ could be their pet rock for all I knew.

Whispers and gasps echoed around me as I was dragged through a strange village-like setting. I found it odd that such a place could exist deep into the wild, but then again, judging the many pokémon I spotted, this community of creatures was pretty large, and they looked relatively capable of building huts such as the ones I spotted around. Master had once told me of humans using strong and muscular pokémon such as machamp and aggron to shift heavy luggage and/or to help construct homes and labour-intensive structures. They were extremely useful for those kinds of things, so I figured it was possible that they had helped with the structures in this clan.
I nearly tripped over a head-sized rock as I was transported towards the place the three pokémon (the ursaring had gone back to what she was doing before her little crazed attack on me) were taking me. “Ow!” I snapped, eying off the two pokémon beside me as they didn’t show a shred of concern. The altaria was in front of me, leading the way, while the heracross and the other pokémon walked either side of me. Running back the way I came would result in a capture by the bug type, with the help of the other one – who looked like a possible ice type – so that wasn’t an option.

It was strange how the one on my right hovered—was she part psychic or flying? Her body was somewhat flimsy and slim and her arms, connecting to her head, were strangely proportioned with blocky cyan at their ends, almost looking like fins, and a red ribbon-like appendage was wrapped around her waist. I had to wonder what the purpose of the two icicle-horns on her head were for, and how she could ever walk with a body that came to a random end before feet could be introduced; although, I came to the conclusion that it was the reason she hovered. I wanted to ask her what kind of pokémon she was, but at the moment she wasn’t exactly a friend.

“Um,” I began, attracting the attention of both pokémon on my sides. I quickly licked my lips. “Where are you taking me? And who’s Habib?”

The heracross only chuckled harmlessly, and the mystery pokémon smiled. “Our colony’s mayor,” he mentioned.

“...Right.” I continued glancing about, observing the ways of these pokémon and how they lived. We only walked through the housing area, however, but I knew there was more to the clan than just that—in the way of facilities. On the way past a few homes, I shuddered as I couldn’t help but notice a giant lake at least the size of the one I had been in when I was abducted, and patches of dense trees around the joint. As we passed near the lake and the far end of the column of huts, lone trees watched as we moved past them, their branches signalling the direction I was headed.

Finally we arrived. The place was pretty large—one of the bigger homes around. It was made mostly of tree trunks and other natural materials, but it looked nothing like the bibarel and bidoof enclosures I had seen. This was properly and professionally constructed, and my guess was that my theory about strong pokémon building places like these for colonies was considerably correct. One would also have to have a knack for designing to form plans one would follow.

We stopped a couple of metres away from the entrance, which was blocked by a slab of firm but moveable stone. ‘If this ‘Habib’ is the leader of the colony, how come his house is shut off?’ I wondered, frowning lightly. But I had to wonder no more as a voice from inside seemed to give permission, and the heracross left his place beside me, along with a random granbull and floatzel who had appeared without me realising.

They all assumed a position around the boulder and the heracross instructed, “On three. One...two...” The two other pokémon prepared themselves before ‘three’ was said, and then at once they all put their muscles to work.

“Heave, ho...” I muttered, and the two females nearby gave me a glance each. I shrugged, wanting to say ‘what?’, and looked back to the working pokémon. The heracross, due to the length of his horn, was slightly taller than the other two pokémon, but they were all nearly level. The floatzel was the smallest, since they were naturally rather little for strong-looking pokémon, but he wasn’t far off. When they had managed to shift the stone all the way across, I forgot my doubt in them and instead acknowledged the butterflies in my stomach which fluttered and bounced off rounded walls.

I wasn’t entirely sure why I was nervous, but I had a feeling I was about to find out as a pokémon stepped forward. “Habib, we’re in need of your judgement,” the bug pokémon stated, standing under the doorway once swinging open a frail wooden door. A voice from inside accepted the request and the heracross nodded, moving back for the altaria to usher me inside with an impatient look on her face. I nearly scowled at her but I was distracted by the inside. Grass coated the entire floor; some was deliberately planted while the rest of it was naturally there. Regular wooden panels making up the ceiling were interrupted by numerous windows to allow insects, warmth and light. A large batch of hay, moss and fresh grass lay at the far end of the hut, and two smaller ones were near the big one against the walls to the left and right. A wooden table composed of more logs (which I didn’t find surprising) was in the centre, where hardened bark and a carved bowl of berries sat.

Waddling steadily with the help of a thick cane, a hefty pink pokémon with small charcoal eyes and a few lemon coloured belly markings appeared before me and gave a soft smile. He bobbed his head leisurely at the heracross, saying, “Thank you, Yukra,” and the dual type pokémon closed the door with care.

Another fuchsia form strode forward—she was smaller and had a grey implement holding a rounded red ruby on her head. Around her neck was a frill streaked with white and blue and she had a very strong resemblance to a slowpoke. I recognised her as a slowking—and a different-to-normal coloured one at that. Perhaps she was shiny!
I waited in silence as the two pokémon wore neutral expressions. I was left to stand there and feel as my eyes darted between the two pokémon. “Uh...h-hi.”

The female regarded me with a nod and a smile while the lickitung placed himself in a seated position at the opposite end of the table. “Have a seat,” he insisted, the slowking also standing at the other end.

“O...kay,” I agreed, cautiously pacing forward a number of steps before sitting. Surprisingly the table was low enough so that I was able to even rest my front paws on its surface if I wanted to. Maybe the table was designed that way for small visitors such as myself.

“Miss Flareon.” I turned. “I will ask you a number of questions, as is my duty.”

“Uhh...alright,” I answered. He had probably figured I was not a threat by this point, as I failed to show any kind of hostility. Truthfully I was a little intimidated by him, being huge compared to me, and since he was the leader of a seemly powerful colony. I figured that if a heracross, a crazed ursaring, Zhol and all the other strong-looking pokémon I spotted were under his rule, he must have had a considerable amount of power and respect from his followers.

The lickitung asked something as I was distracted, and I only caught the last word. When I asked him to repeat, he followed up with, “Are you a traveller?”

“Well...kind of.” I thought the normal type might have been waiting for me to justify my hazy reply, but when I didn’t he continued.

“Do you have reason to come through here?” he questioned. He was friendly...but naturally suspicious.

“Well, I...um.” I paused to scratch my belly with my back leg, however awkward it was to reach. “I travelled here with Zhol. She said I could stay here for a while. She’s...a part of your colony...?”

“Ahh!” responded the pokémon, sparking up at the mention of the sneasel’s name. “Yes, Zhol! She has returned then?” After I nodded, he brightened up. “Excellent!”

“She, um,” I interrupted, not meaning to. When I felt it was okay to continue I did. “Zhol and I were on the same vessel after being captured.”

Suddenly the lickitung’s face clouded over with stern interest and concern. By the looks of things, he had no idea what I was talking about. Instead of questioning my words, he listened further. But when I was unsure of what to say next, silence tapped the air around us.

“The, uh...the vessel that we were being stored on for transportation. We were, uh...we were also in the same...prison, if you like.” I spoke with a calm tone, and Habib and the slowking gasped, the part psychic type resting one of her paws on the other pokémon’s shoulder. They exchanged a worried glace and then met mine. “Is something...?”

The slowking wore a forlorn expression as she hesitated to open her mouth. “Our son and three other members of our colony suddenly disappeared at least two weeks ago. We hadn’t heard from them since.”

At this I was only mildly surprised—Team Rocket had captured many pokémon, and I doubt witnesses of any kind would exist to let anyone know where their friends would have gone. They would either have been caught or...disposed of. “So...Zhol was one of those other three?” I wondered, and Habib replied with a yes. I hadn’t met any other pokémon from their colony on the ship, so it was possible they were in a separate crate or I simply didn’t get a chance to know them. But then I suddenly thought of something. “Wait...” I attracted their attention again as I went over things in my mind. “You said your son disappeared... What’s his name?”

The two flashed looks onto each other before the slowking turned to me again. “His name’s Larse.”

“Larse?” I confirmed, perking up. “Larse! I know Larse! I met him on the ship!”

A hushed cry of joy seeped from between the psychic and water type’s muzzle. “Wonderful!” A relieved and joyous expression painted itself onto both parents’ faces, and I couldn’t help but smile. If only I knew my master was okay...

“Did he return with you?” the slowking inquired hopefully, and I felt sympathy twinge within me as I took a moment.

“Uhh...um...no. I’m...sorry,” I replied, and the shiny pokémon seemed to deflate as she absorbed the information.
“Oh...”

“Is he well?” asked Habib, and I nodded, wanting to lift their spirits.

“He actually helped me a few times. He even saved me at some point.” I glanced at my left side, noting the hole that had been healing for a number of days now. It still hurt, but nothing could get in or out—thankfully. “Yeah. I was shot in the leg by a human,” I explained, standing and facing my body in a way so that the wound could be seen. The slowking nearly gasped as she saw it, and her eyes flicked to mine as I went on. “And when no-one else could, your son used his powers to remove the bullet.” Their expressions relaxed, and a sense of subtle pride tickled their faces. “After that, when I was battling...” I swallowed, averting my gaze. “Um, a...well, someone, he really helped me out. I was actually, uhh...really surprised at how fast he could run,” I chuckled, and the slowking’s smile broadened, her eyes soft and amused. “You’re son’s a...great pokémon.”

Habib nodded, knowing well what I meant. “He is.”

Before I let a silence fall upon us for the second time, I cleared my throat. “So, um... Is it...alright if I stay a while?” The two pokémon blinked a few times in a row, and I acted casual as I shifted about on the spot. “Heh, well, I mean, I could gather berries or...or hunt! I-I can hunt... Or, um...look after anyone who needs babysitting.” I shrugged, putting forward the idea even if I was less than keen on the latter.

The two pokémon seemed to consider it, but it didn’t take them long before coming up with an answer. “Of course,” Habib answered, and for a moment I was stunned.

“R-really?” I gave a hearty chuckle. “I can?”

“Of course, dear,” the slowking repeated. As I gave off grateful grin, she added, “We can tell you aren’t a bad pokémon. For bringing Zhol safely here we are thankful.” I nearly laughed at the comment, since Zhol was basically the one who brought me as opposed to it being the other way around, but I concealed my amused thoughts.

Footsteps pattered the grass outside and my ears fluttered to catch the sound. I flung my head around my shoulder as the flimsy door creaked open and a head with fangs, a snout and three spikes at the back popped in. A lime green body followed, and two elongated feet with three claws on each seemed to grip the floor lightly as the pokémon came fully into view. However, as I suspected that he was going to speak, he froze, and I was unsure why. The two dangerous-looking blades that acted as arms hung suspended in midair as I watched for movement. Wings were attached to his back, looking like those of a dragonfly. His torso didn’t, though—it looked armoured with a yellow undercoat, and a striped abdomen rested as his lower half, which was what the legs were linked to.
After analysing this creature, I identified him as a scyther—a bug and flying type. And by the looks of things, he was analysing me too. “‘Sup,” I stated to break the silence, smiling in a friendly manner.

The mantis pokémon just stared, his eyes wary and his body stilled. He looked about to strike if I went too near, which was mildly concerning. I elected to remain seated.


Continued in next post...
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 09-30-2012 at 04:38 PM.
  #341  
Old 06-08-2010, 01:23 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

“Yes?” Habib asked, the scyther’s attention switching. “What is it?”

“...Your son’s returned,” he replied, distracted by my presence. “And another member.”

“Larse?” questioned the slowking, her face completely brightening. Habib stood, surprised and silently gleeful. The pink pokémon hurried past me, slipping in an, “Excuse me,” and disappearing through the door. The scyther held the door open as she went, and looked to Habib. At that point I followed his gaze to the lickitung. He bobbed his head once at the bug and flying type and then turned to me.

“We will organise an escort to show you around later. Right now you will have to excuse me, though. You are free to go as well.” He gave a friendly nod and waddled past me. He murmured to the scyther something about holding the door open for me and that naturally I wasn’t allowed to be in the room by myself, and the pokémon hesitated before agreeing.

Eager to greet Larse again and the other colony member who had returned (possibly from the ship as well), I too stood and approached the exit. The scyther narrowed his eyes slightly as I brushed past him, and I wanted to ask him what his problem was. But those sharp scythes prevented my questioning. After all, I didn’t want to end up like that famous glameow who was supposedly killed by curiosity.

I heard the door clunk after I emerged from it and spotted a crowd of pokémon in the distance. Habib was leisurely walking towards it with his mate in front, having nearly reached the mob, and I was about to bound up to him as a blur rushed by, and I realised the scyther had taken the place by Habib’s side. I huffed, thinking he was somewhat of a show off, and made the decision not to catch up.

Then something caught my eye. While passing the lake, two orange blobs managed to distract me before their eyes quickly closed and the heads submerged. I found my legs holding me on the spot before I scanned the rest of the lake’s surface with my eyes before deciding they wouldn’t surface again. ‘Someone was spying on me...’ I thought, but after I recalled the fact that there was more than one head. ‘Well...two someones.’

***

A duo of bodies weaved away from the constant noise, slipping into a stony passageway. An eerie breeze drifted through, chilling both figures as they padded onwards. Small indents in the walls imprisoned flames behind metal grates to light the path, and condensation caused by the fire and wet environment clouded the space between the walls; breaths were exhaled as mist. Drops falling sounded from somewhere in the passage, and every pawstep echoed off the occasional stalactite threatening to fall at any second. Sometimes the floor would feel slippery, and the occasional paw would slip, clunking into a bump on the less than flat surface.

One of the pokémon scowled, stumping her paw on a protruding rock. “Ow!” she yelped angrily, the light purr of the pokémon beside her floating about her ears in a soft laughter. She only grumbled, pausing for a second to rub a toe or two against her other leg in some kind of pointless attempt to make it feel better.

“Look where you step,” advised a pale pokémon, his body slinky and somewhat graceful.

“You can see better than me—you’re a persian. You can see in the dark,” the other pokémon – also a pale one – stated. She coughed as the fog entered her lungs, swallowing afterwards. “So, what do you think he wants to see me for?”

“How would I know?” questioned the persian, shrugging. “I don’t know—to get you to do more dirty work? Your rank has been rising...”

“Mm,” nodded the second pokémon, her partly green tail hanging behind her.

“You’re nearly as good as me,” mentioned the persian with pride. By the sounds of things he liked being of a higher status.

“Pff, I’m better than you,” retorted the leafeon, the odd leaf or two hanging from her body twitching. “I was here before you, Talyn.”

“Hah,” snorted the normal type. “Doesn’t make you better,” he smirked, flicking his tail with annoyance. Moments later, the two came across a stone doorway. “Oh, look. We’re here.” After a click, the persian slid his paw with a block in the wall forward, and it seemed to melt into the thick mass before another click sounded. With a heave and a shuffle, the door clunked and a split between two sections of it grew until an opening grinned at the newcomers. An eerie silence crept through the two pokémon’s ears, and a shiver overcame the leafeon.

She dared a peek inside, quickly scanning the area. She hadn’t entered the room before her in a long time...

“Hmph,” grunted Talyn, turning to walk away. “Try not to get yourself injured, Izante.” He padded forward a few steps before the leafeon stopped him.

“Can you...come with me?” she pleaded, her eyes round and convincing.

“Nope.”

“Oh, come on. Please?”

He contemplated this for a few moments. “Can’t you survive without me?”

Izante shook her head, only keen on not having to enter alone. “Apparently not.”

The persian took a breath and exhaled in triumph. “I wouldn’t have thought so,” snicked the classy cat pokémon, pushing his chest out proudly as he walked through the gap between the two rock slabs. The grass type smiled with relief, knowing who – or what – she would face was someone she didn’t want to see alone, and perhaps wouldn’t have to.

--

Izante clambered lazily from the rather large fearow she had been riding for the past three days. She’d been flying back and forth from the headquarters and the mainland, running errands and checking up on members of the syndicate. She had only been back from the Rocket Marine Vessel for half a day before she was selected – or more like forced – to commence the chores; she had been asked to gather any lost associate who had wandered in the wrong direction. This, she had known, would take more than just a few hours—and it had.

During the period she was away, nothing particularly exciting happened, but only a day ago she arrived back at headquarters in the landing port—a section of the headquarters that had walls reaching higher than the tallest trees. A visible ceiling was missing, but in its place was a disguise. A barrier had been stably holding its place for years, and from the outside it looked like a normal rocky-scape, but on the inside it was transparent. It provided a good means of separating intruders from fellow members, and it was another defence and disguise mechanism.
As the female grass type took less than three steps forward, she was approached by a pokémon. She recognised him as no more than one of their slaves and simply ignored him, but as he seemed about to spit something out, the leafeon stopped. He was cone shaped and dark grey with a yellow overcoat-like covering. Orange bordered the yellow around his face and pupil-less eyes stared timidly at the grass eevee evolution, hesitating to speak. But when her eyes grew impatient, he decided that staying quiet would do him nothing more than a disservice. “The Director...wants to see you.” He swallowed, nearly flinching as Izante scowled.

“I see,” she muttered to herself, pushing past the cowering snorunt. She was consumed by the crowd of sinister and uncouth creatures clogging entrances to the landing port, eventually squeezing between each pokémon and appearing in a connecting room. It was another open passage with pokémon scattered about, and channels leading to other rooms gaped at her, causing her to choose which one she would travel through.

After navigating herself around and getting lost once or twice, Izante came across the rocky passage leading to where she was required to be. She felt great hesitation as she stepped forward, wishing her companion was with her. She pressed on, her head low between her shoulders as she imagined why she would be called to the Director’s cavern.

However, as she approached, she could hear murmuring echoing from inside. She was relieved as she took that as an excuse not to go in as of yet, and placed herself at the entrance instead. After a minute of tapping her back paw and wiping her tail against the wall behind her as an act of nervousness, her ears pricked. A figure appeared at the other end of the rock corridor, where she had come in from.

“Izante,” a pokémon called, getting the leafeon’s attention. As she looked, she recognised the creature as a spinda—a two legged bear-like pokémon with longer ears, swirls for eyes and random polka dots of a pinky red blotched on her face. She curled her paw in towards her, signalling for Izante to come her way, and the leafeon, still hearing the chatter which seemed to be between two males, leaped down the hall and stopped before the normal type.

“What?” she hastily asked, squeezing past the spinda to be away from the path that led to danger and into the room she came from.

“Talyn needs you in the interrogation room. We have some...suspects.”

Izante gave a brief nod before hurrying off, the spinda following. ‘Anything to get away from...him.’

--

After she went to help deal with the prisoners, she had been assigned to fly back out on a suitable pokémon to gather the other captured creatures who had been apprehended after they were spotted fleeing from the ship area. They were violently arrested and forced to come to the sinister hideout where some still had yet to arrive, and where only two or three had been tossed into the prisoner cavern already—two of which had been the ones she and her had colleague questioned. So she had flown out and arrived back the next day, which she currently was living.

Izante had been lucky to have been distracted yesterday. But today’s appointment was real. Now she couldn’t escape, and she was staring his somewhat secluded cave right in its grinning face. She swallowed again, glancing to Talyn for mental – and physical if she needed it – support.

She skulked through the ‘doors’ herself, trailing the meowth evolution stealthily as she glanced warily about. ‘He could be anywhere...’

“The persian...” hissed an echoing voice, stabbing shivers down Izante’s spine, “...can leave.”

The leafeon threw her head dramatically to the left, her pleading eyes reaching out to her companion. But the normal type shrugged with slight helplessness and he turned to leave. “Ta—” the grass type began, letting her shoulders flop. “...Bye, Talyn.”

He nodded before striding out, the tip of his tail a hair away from being jammed in the concrete slabs’ grip as they clamped shut. He got a mild shock as the noise snapped at his ears, and he shook off, thinking of his leader’s manners to be poor. Before he retraced his steps back down the hallway, he set his eyes on the room he was in for only moments, hoping the one he cared for so much would not be shaken up from whatever the Director would do to her.

“Forgive me for my rudeness,” hummed a shady voice again, his form still hidden. “I cannot have...Talyn...interfering or...hindering your ability to speak the truth.”

The leafeon began shaking in plain sight, her attempt to conceal her fear failing. ‘Surely I’ve been a...good member of the team; I haven’t screwed up! So...so he has no reason to deal with me poorly. I’m...far too valuable to lose,’ she told herself, standing upright as she tried to compose herself. ‘...Aw, who am I kidding? He’ll find some excuse to—’

A chuckle rippled the surface of the large lake situated in the middle of the huge cavern which reached to its end. All around were stalactites and boulders of many sizes—some of them shattered or cracked in assorted places. Columns of rock thinned in the middle but thickened where they connected to the floor and the ground, and a spooky dripping noise rang every once in a while. As the leafeon continued to scan the area, she noted the scaly walls and the many indents to shape them strangely. The lake occupied much of the space in the room, and off to the sides at the far end were separate cave areas where the Director would keep...personal detainees to possibly torture. It was also rumoured to be the place that he held other, different pokémon.

“Now, Izante,” the voice followed up after chuckling, “you look so afraid. There is no reason to be.”

As the leafeon crept forward, hoping to catch a glimpse of something to indicate the leader’s whereabouts, she flinched and swerved around after sensing a shadow dart behind her. The dully-lit cavern made it hard to make out proper forms and cast whoever lay in wait unidentifiable. As another silhouette made her look frantically to her right, she panicked. More seemed to appear in assorted places, their eyes gleaming as they flashed and faded. It was only seconds before they began to surround Izante, and she cowered while watching as they closed in...

“Don’t be frightened by my guards,” he advised, and somehow Izante could tell he was grinning. The darkened figures crept about, coming to halts on top of boulders and in other places surrounding the grass type, and she exhaled deeply, keeping an eye on each of them. She couldn’t help but tremble.

“D-Director...” Izante gulped, “you need me?” She tried standing up straight and still, but couldn’t help scanning the room for any signs of who she hoped but hoped not to spot.

“Of course,” he replied, his calm tone more creepy than reassuring. “Come forward...to the lake.”

Figuring she had no choice, the leafeon paced forward a number of steps forward before coming close to the water’s edge. Once she arrived, she briefly gazed into its impossible depths, her uncertain and nervous reflection staring helplessly back at her. “A-am I...” she began, trailing off.

“...Yes?”

“Am...I here for punishment?”


Continued in next post...
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 09-30-2012 at 04:43 PM.
  #342  
Old 06-08-2010, 01:25 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

The voice chuckled once again. “Not unless you want to be.” Suddenly yellow eyes revealed themselves on a dry island against the back wall of the cave where there was a circular break in the water. It was an area large enough to hold more than ten leafeon, so the leader fit easily in the space. Shortly after the eyes brightened, illuminating the darkness around him, a body became dimly visible, and it was clear that a rather big pokémon sat staring at Izante. That was where the source of the voice was.

Izante looked uneasy, and she cleared her throat before rephrasing her question. “Master, what...why was I... What did you call me for?”

“The report, my young apprentice.” The mysterious pokémon did not move, but his tail flickered, as if he was partially disappointed one of his best agents may have forgotten. “While on the Rocket vessel we discussed that you would provide me with a report on what happened.” She nodded slowly, and as if to prompt her, the so called ‘master’ spoke again—this time more firmly. “The casualties, the survivors, the number of prisoners who escaped...”

Izante seemed to get the picture by this stage and tried to sound confident. “The—the casualties...were large. On a grand scale, we lost more than...they did.” At this the pokémon tensed, but the leafeon quickly threw in, “But in all fairness, their numbers were ours tripled! Maybe more...” He relaxed slightly, but Izante still sensed his annoyance. “At a guess, we determined that...seventy-five percent of the prisoners made it out alive. The Rockets and their pokémon...only forty percent escaped without being killed...or less.” The grass pokémon knew her leader would be glaring by this point, and she could certainly class that as fact as his lips curled into a snarl and he scratched his claws back and forth on the steel-hard rock below his paws. She hesitated to go on until he told her that she should continue. “Uhh...by the end of it, most Rockets had decided the fight was pointless because they knew they couldn’t win, and at that stage all of...almost all of the prisoners had fled. Then me and Talyn left with a few Rocket minions on some fearows.” She closed her eyes for a moment before finishing. “We were out of range when we witnessed the ship blow.”

“Out of range when what?” boomed the leader, smearing disdain throughout his use of the sentence’s last word. His eyes were suddenly steady with docked rage.

“U—um...uh... When—when it...blew up, Master,” Izante confirmed, lowering herself with subtlety.

Blew up?!” the Director exploded, his mood taking a hideous bend in the wrong direction.

The eevee evolution drew back in the instant, an immediate warning bell sounding in her head. She cowered and, in the midst of her fear, made the hasty decision to attempt to scramble away, but didn’t get far. With one astounding leap driven by negative surprise and hatred for what he was hearing, the leader scaled the lake with no trouble. Izante’s jaw would have come loose had it been able to, but instead it dropped to its possible extent. She was quick to close it as her eyes shook with sheer fear. It was almost as if her eyelids no longer existed as she watched her master with the widest eyes she could have produced.

“Explain to me,” the pokémon demanded in a fierce, dangerous whisper, “how this happened!”

With a frightening super-pokémon literally in her face and hissing guards on the watch nearby, the grass type could hardly breathe, let alone talk. Her heart was pounding too fast for her to know it wasn’t just a vibrating mess, and she could have sworn she was drenched in sweat and adrenaline. She let a breath ease out through her nose before drawing one back in at the same pace. “I-I-I-I d-don’t...kn—”

“Do NOT tell me you don’t know!” he warned, spitting his words with clear ferocity.

“It—it must have been a pokémon who escaped! I swear on Talyn’s life!” she cried. Her face muscles stressed her expression into that of desperation and emotional agony as her eyes kept themselves bound and her jaws interlocked. She forced them back open. “Please, I...I’d tell you if I knew...”

Several seconds passed while Izante stayed frozen in her cowering position, the dominant pokémon slowly edging away and returning to a normal seated pose, the contempt still printed on his face but otherwise he displayed a calm expression and stilled himself. “I believe you,” he informed, but that didn’t seem to mean much. At least, she thought, it meant that he wasn’t going to express his anger her way.

Silence wavered in the air, circling through the leafeon’s ears as she dared not to move. She had never seen the Director react so violently before, and she knew it was out of his general nature to snap so easily. Surely what happened didn’t matter too much. The Rockets who lived fled, but the ones who were dead or unconscious were left on the ship—who would probably have been useless after what they’d been through anyway. Other than that, all that was destroyed was... ‘Oh,’ the leafeon thought, her heart racing as she realised something: the only reason why her master would become so utterly infuriated.

Izante was distracted from her thoughts as the pokémon rose, a lengthy breath escaping his nostrils. He took a cluster of moments to regain his calm, and when he did, his head turned so the side of it was being watched by his follower. “...You are... You are free to go,” he explained, making an odd noise to presumably tell his guards it was fine to allow the leafeon to leave. The Director strode forward, stopping as his ears picked up no sound of shuffling. “Leave, leafeon.”

“Y-yes, Master,” the pokémon obeyed, scuttling backwards. She turned around and hurried to the exit, repeating to herself silently that she was nearly out of there. However, she didn’t get all the way before she was addressed again.

“Izante,” she heard, and she cringed as she heaved her eyes back in his direction. “...Who...initiated the release of all the prisoner pokémon?”

Her heart sank. She hoped she didn’t have to answer that question. “...Uhh... There’re only...rumours—”

“Don’t,” he started, raising his voice to interrupt her, “stall.” His eye glinted with calm amusement as he rotated his head, his body still facing away. “...I know...you know.”

Vibrations skimmed her back again; she hated it when he pierced her eyes with the deadly spears in his. She swallowed hard, taking a breath. “The...the flareon,” she admitted, feeling her ears droop. He seemed momentarily interested, obviously waiting for proper details. Izante contemplated her options before she gave a sigh.

“Say it,” he hissed, a tiny smile present.

“It...it was...”

***

“Dusty!”

“Larse!” I bounded to the slowpoke surrounded by other colony pokémon who were just as pleased and excited to greet him as I was. “You made it!” I nudged his face as he radiated a gleeful smile.

“Yes, I did.” He looked me up and down. “And so did you, I see.”

“I sure did!” I felt my tail beat furiously from side to side before answering the question I knew he was dying to ask. “Oh, and if you’re wondering why I’m here, it’s ‘cause I’m officially a temporary member of your colony!”

“Oh, are you? Good to hear,” he replied, and I was about to continue the conversation as he was addressed by another pokémon who just arrived in the circle—an ursaring. The ursaring. The one that attacked me!

“Young one!” she shouted out of desperation, a small teddiursa following.

“Hello, Wynore. Good to s—”

“I need to know,” she interrupted, and Larse seemed somewhat surprised she had done so. “Please, I need you to tell me something.”

“Yes, of course. And...what is it?” he inquired.

The normal type looked deeply into his eyes, as if holding them still for her question. She had dropped to her knees and her paws rested awkwardly on his narrow shoulders. “...Lakane... Did you...did you see him? Was he...was he with you?”

Whoever ‘Lakane’ was, I was certain the ursaring had some connection to him.

“L...Lakane... Yes, I did. I was w—” he began, but again was spoken over.

“Is he alright?” she pressed, her emotion overcoming her. She was certainly more than just concerned.

“I...I was unconscious for the time I was carried off the ship, and only awoke when I touched the ocean. So...I don’t know if he safely escaped the ship...” He looked down, unable to hold his gaze upon Wynore. Sympathy stroked my heart as I watched the female bear pokémon remove her paws and trace the dirt with her eyes. She slowly got to her feet, the sadness tugging at her face. The slowpoke mulled over a thought or two and became hopeful. “But the majority of us escaped healthily, so the chances of him being alive and well are high.”

The tiny teddy pokémon beside her looked curiously at who I guessed was her mother and wore a curious expression, the crescent moon pattern on her forehead brightening under the sunlight. “Where’s Daddy?” she questioned, and the ursaring just squeezed her eyes closed, clenching her jaws.

“I...I don’t know,” she answered, avoidant of the question. “He’s...he’s coming home later.” She barely made eye contact with the cub before turning and leaving, the small normal type with a button-like nose following with one claw wedged between her lips. I watched as they pushed between more pokémon who stared at them with sympathetic gazes and turned away.

I felt my tail sag as I plonked my tush on the ground. That battle on the ship... It affected countless pokémon on the spot, but when I thought about families, friends, trainers, packs...it was awful. I felt as if a tauros had hurled himself at me, and I struggled to endure the impact. Just witnessing what happened to two pokémon was reason enough for me to not want to remember. And all those pokémon I killed? And the humans I...slaughtered... Was it all really worth it? Worth...this? All the pokémon currently surrounding me had been changed by this event. That ursaring...she may as well have lost a mate. And Larse? His parents were living proof that he was cared for deeply, as well as the rest of the colony.

I was delving too deeply into these thoughts as a voice brought me back to the spot I was standing. “Poor Wynore,” one of the pokémon pitied—a bellossom. Her voice was swimming in sadness and remorse. “To think she might have lost someone so close to us...”

“So close to us all,” the scyther spoke up, and my eyes wandered to meet his before I lowered my head. He rotated eyes, catching everyone’s glance. “He is a good pokémon...and a great friend.” A smile flickered across his face. “He will return. I think it’s fair to say that we all know Luck well enough to say that he will return!”

I nearly gagged.

The oxygen was blocked from my nostrils. I flicked my head back up, my eyes seizing his. “What?!” I blurted. He seemed shocked that I had moved so suddenly, and more so that I had intervened so obnoxiously.

He gave me a bewildered frown and a cautious flicker of his confidence seemed to waver through his eyes. “...I said he was a great pokémon.”

I was practically having a heart attack. It couldn’t be him. Yet now that I assessed it, I was shocked almost to the extent of disgust at my failure to connect Luck with the female ursaring’s mentioning of a mate before the scyther spoke. I blinked, his eyes still on mine. “Luck...as in...ursaring Luck?”

“Y-yes...” he mentioned, seemingly annoyed I had sounded so abrupt and impolite. The rest of the pokémon exchanged confused looks, some of the shrugging and some muttering, while I just stared ahead at nothing specific.

“Oh...crap.”


To be continued...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you would have noticed, I no longer capitalise the types or attacks either. I think it's kinda pointless, and it's not because I'm lazy or anything. xD

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 09-30-2012 at 04:44 PM.
  #343  
Old 06-08-2010, 06:46 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR RRDDDDDDDDDDDDD! =D

Also, Yukra!

Before I talk about the chapter, typos! =o
Quote:
she had been assigned to fly back out on a suitable pokémon to gather the other captured creates
Creates?
Quote:
“Izante,” she heart, and she cringed as she heaved her eyes back in his direction.
XD Heart!
Quote:
He seemed shocked in the least that I had moved so suddenly, let alone that I had sounded so obnoxious and rude.
I'm...kind of confused by this sentence. xD


Haha, I like how Dusty hadn't even noticed she was sleeping by a bunch of rotten berries. xD And how the pokemon reacted to her. I really like how Yukra was calm and nice. I can't wait to see the clan's daykare daycare place and all the little pokemon! =D It'll be interesting to see how Dusty reacts to them. xD

Also SHARD! You got the whole "does-not-trust-fire-types" thing perfectly. I like how he was really distracted by Dusty when he was trying to talk to Habib. One thing I thought was strange though was that it didn't mention Shard's scars (or did Dusty just not notice/see them yet?)

I liked the part with Izante too (to be honest I liked reading about her being so scared-I don't like her xD). I wonder who the pokemon she was talking to was. I liked how you didn't reveal his species/what he looked like right then; it makes me want to know more about him.

Also, ccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvveeeeee!

When the pokemon started talking about Lakane, I thought that maybe he was luck..guess I was right. D= This won't be an easy thing to explain...


Funny parts!
Quote:
This ‘Habib’ could be their pet rock for all I knew.
The next rock I see I will name Habib. Yep, that rock on my desk is named Habib now.
Quote:
After analysing this creature, I identified him as a scyther—a bug and flying type. And by the looks of things, he was analysing me too. “’Sup,” I stated to break the silence, smiling in a friendly manner.
XDDD "'Sup!" (Also, I like how he just stared at her warily without answering after that...it definitely seems like something he would do!)

I really liked this chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the colony (and Shard and the baby pokemon!). I wonder where Zhol is and who the two "orange blobs" in the lake were (I think I know, though xD). I know I've mentioned this before but I really like the way you describe things. I love how you write your stories!

This inspired me to write now, but once I do that for a while I'll get to reading your other story!
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
  #344  
Old 06-08-2010, 08:09 AM
Graceful_Suicune's Avatar
Graceful_Suicune Offline
Race the North Wind
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Ashley's pants
Posts: 4,886
Send a message via AIM to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Yahoo to Graceful_Suicune Send a message via Skype™ to Graceful_Suicune
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR RRDDDDDDDDDDDDD! =D

Also, Yukra!
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Guess what? Today I drew a scyther in maths! 8D And I think I'll do it in Photoshop... :D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Creates?

XD Heart!

I'm...kind of confused by this sentence. xD
xDDDDDD Well, first off I'm glad that there were only three typos, and the reason I didn't pick up on them (as well as the fact that I often miss my own typos xD) was because in my free I kinda had to rush through and I didn't get to proof read it properly (and also because I was getting distracted by what was happening in the class--I crash my friends' English class in my frees xDD), so I'm glad you have a keen eye!

xDDD That was supposed to be 'creatures', and 'heart' was mean to be 'heard'. xDDD But thanks. x) And yeah, haha, reading that over it is a stupid sentence! 8D *fixes*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Haha, I like how Dusty hadn't even noticed she was sleeping by a bunch of rotten berries. xD And how the pokemon reacted to her. I really like how Yukra was calm and nice. I can't wait to see the clan's daykare daycare place and all the little pokemon! =D It'll be interesting to see how Dusty reacts to them. xD
xDD Yeah, she's a little oblivious to things like that. x) Yeah, haha. I'm gonna have fun writing about that altaria! Yeah, I wanted to have a somewhat mellow character amongst the one that panics, the one that accuses and the one that attacks. xDD Plus that's how he is. ^^ xDDDDDDDD Daykare!! Yeah, I'll be looking forward to writing about them! 8D Yeah, haha. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Also SHARD! You got the whole "does-not-trust-fire-types" thing perfectly. I like how he was really distracted by Dusty when he was trying to talk to Habib. One thing I thought was strange though was that it didn't mention Shard's scars (or did Dusty just not notice/see them yet?)
OH YAY I'm glad. ^^ I thought he'd be pretty wary around her, and there's also another reason (it's not a big one, but still a reason xD) he is distracted by her. o: Oh yeah...the scars... ^^; Truthfully I didn't realise I had forgotten them, but then again she didn't get a proper look at him at Habib and his mate's house...whose name I was about to say xD (even though I don't think I mentioned it, I imagined him standing not fully inside the room, but only with his head and part of his body showing as the door covered most of him. o: ) and when she was talking to Larse and then to Shard, she was in a bit of her own moment realising that he was talking about the same Luck that she knew, and before he mentioned "Luck", she was thinking about the battle, so she has valid reason I suppose. xDD So I'll definitely remember she'll definitely spot them in the next chapter. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I liked the part with Izante too (to be honest I liked reading about her being so scared-I don't like her xD). I wonder who the pokemon she was talking to was. I liked how you didn't reveal his species/what he looked like right then; it makes me want to know more about him.

Also, ccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvveeeeee!
xDD That's really funny to hear! But yeah, me neither. xD So I liked reading about it more. You'll find out why the Director/leader was so mad later on. 8D Truthfully I like him more than Izante. xDD And thanks! I don't want him to be revealed just yet. x)

I knew you'd like it. xDD But I love them too, and I thought it would be a good base. >:D

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
When the pokemon started talking about Lakane, I thought that maybe he was luck..guess I was right. D= This won't be an easy thing to explain...
(Capital L now, Scy!) Yeah, I thought it would be more of a 'Dusty not realising' thing than a 'reader not realising' one, so I'm not really surprised. Dx I know... She's gonna be so upset and reluctant!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
The next rock I see I will name Habib. Yep, that rock on my desk is named Habib now.

XDDD "'Sup!" (Also, I like how he just stared at her warily without answering after that...it definitely seems like something he would do!)
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD That's so funny! I'm glad you decided to name it after Habib though. B)

xDD Yeah, haha, I knew he'd be uncomfortable if she said something like that! xD Yes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I really liked this chapter and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the colony (and Shard and the baby pokemon!). I wonder where Zhol is and who the two "orange blobs" in the lake were (I think I know, though xD). I know I've mentioned this before but I really like the way you describe things. I love how you write your stories!

This inspired me to write now, but once I do that for a while I'll get to reading your other story!
Yay! 8D It's good you are. xDD I'll try to get it written faster, because I have proper plans for what will happen, and things I don't have plans for are things I know I want to include anyway. xD She'll turn up. She's probably sleeping. xD After all, Dusty would have been if it weren't for those pokemon who woke her up! xDD And yeah, I think you do know who they are. xDD They'll be introduced in the next chapter too! 8D Aw, thank you. Just like how I love how you write yours! 8D

OH YAY FOR INSPIRATION! And okay. ^^ I hope you like that too! :D I'm gonna read more PoD. ^^ AND GET MY DOSE OF INSPIRATION!

~GS.
__________________
Everyone who's still stuck here, Pe2k is Dead. It's sad, but it happened. Instead, we moved to...

Pokemon Crossroads!
Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.
  #345  
Old 06-08-2010, 08:50 AM
Scytherwolf's Avatar
Scytherwolf Offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Hiding from metal coats...
Posts: 6,989
Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Guess what? Today I drew a scyther in maths! 8D And I think I'll do it in Photoshop... :D
Awesome! I can't wait to see it! I need to practice drawing scythers more.

Quote:
xDDDDDD Well, first off I'm glad that there were only three typos, and the reason I didn't pick up on them (as well as the fact that I often miss my own typos xD) was because in my free I kinda had to rush through and I didn't get to proof read it properly (and also because I was getting distracted by what was happening in the class--I crash my friends' English class in my frees xDD), so I'm glad you have a keen eye!

xDDD That was supposed to be 'creatures', and 'heart' was mean to be 'heard'. xDDD But thanks. x) And yeah, haha, reading that over it is a stupid sentence! 8D *fixes*
Well, I miss a ton of typos in my own story so that's understandable. xD Yeah, I thought so! I was kind of confused for a moment. Okay, hope it makes more sense now. xD


Quote:
xDD Yeah, she's a little oblivious to things like that. x) Yeah, haha. I'm gonna have fun writing about that altaria! Yeah, I wanted to have a somewhat mellow character amongst the one that panics, the one that accuses and the one that attacks. xDD Plus that's how he is. ^^ xDDDDDDDD Daykare!! Yeah, I'll be looking forward to writing about them! 8D Yeah, haha. xD
XD Yeah, I thought so! He seems like the type of pokemon who isn't easily bothered. Yes, Daykare! Maybe she'll meet B.P.! Just kidding. XD

Quote:
OH YAY I'm glad. ^^ I thought he'd be pretty wary around her, and there's also another reason (it's not a big one, but still a reason xD) he is distracted by her. o: Oh yeah...the scars... ^^; Truthfully I didn't realise I had forgotten them, but then again she didn't get a proper look at him at Habib and his mate's house...whose name I was about to say xD (even though I don't think I mentioned it, I imagined him standing not fully inside the room, but only with his head and part of his body showing as the door covered most of him. o: ) and when she was talking to Larse and then to Shard, she was in a bit of her own moment realising that he was talking about the same Luck that she knew, and before he mentioned "Luck", she was thinking about the battle, so she has valid reason I suppose. xDD So I'll definitely remember she'll definitely spot them in the next chapter. xD
Oh, okay; maybe on that part you could mention that she didn't get a good look at him? :o I can understand why she didn't pay attention to him in the second part though. Okay!


Quote:
xDD That's really funny to hear! But yeah, me neither. xD So I liked reading about it more. You'll find out why the Director/leader was so mad later on. 8D Truthfully I like him more than Izante. xDD And thanks! I don't want him to be revealed just yet. x)

I knew you'd like it. xDD But I love them too, and I thought it would be a good base. >:D
XD Haha, me too actually, though I don't know much about him yet. xD


Quote:
(Capital L now, Scy!) Yeah, I thought it would be more of a 'Dusty not realising' thing than a 'reader not realising' one, so I'm not really surprised. Dx I know... She's gonna be so upset and reluctant!
I type too fast! .0. Oh well. xD Yeah, I thought so too. I bet! I would be too.

Quote:
xDDDDDDDDDDDDDD That's so funny! I'm glad you decided to name it after Habib though. B)

xDD Yeah, haha, I knew he'd be uncomfortable if she said something like that! xD Yes.
It is the crystal rock I've had since I was five (don't ask XD). Now it has a name! Yay!

Yeah, especially since I see him as a serious kinda pokemon. xD

Quote:
Yay! 8D It's good you are. xDD I'll try to get it written faster, because I have proper plans for what will happen, and things I don't have plans for are things I know I want to include anyway. xD She'll turn up. She's probably sleeping. xD After all, Dusty would have been if it weren't for those pokemon who woke her up! xDD And yeah, I think you do know who they are. xDD They'll be introduced in the next chapter too! 8D Aw, thank you. Just like how I love how you write yours! 8D
Okay, yay! I have my next TPoD chapter planned out (mostly, anyway, but I know what needs to happen) so I'm excited to write it. Going to get a little bit of Mind Whisperer written (a little bit as in a few paragraphs) then on to TPoD! Because I really want to write the next chapter. XD And thanks!

Quote:
OH YAY FOR INSPIRATION! And okay. ^^ I hope you like that too! :D I'm gonna read more PoD. ^^ AND GET MY DOSE OF INSPIRATION!

~GS.
Yaaaaaaaaaay! I hope you receive a bigly amount of inspiredness.
__________________

Thanks to Lunar Latias for the banner and Kirimori for the picture!

-My Links-
Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Style Design: AlienSector.com