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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #346  
Old 06-14-2010, 04:21 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

It's weird thinking that Lucky was part of the Usster Colony. Especially when he had a family.

Other than that, I really liked the Slowking and Lickitung. Larse returns!!! Yay!
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  #347  
Old 06-14-2010, 08:31 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

SUDDEN REALIZATION: MYSTERIOUS NICKNAME POKEMON IS TSUTAJA.

Excellently written as usual. Keep it up.
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  #348  
Old 06-16-2010, 06:59 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Awesome! I can't wait to see it! I need to practice drawing scythers more.

Well, I miss a ton of typos in my own story so that's understandable. xD Yeah, I thought so! I was kind of confused for a moment. Okay, hope it makes more sense now. xD

XD Yeah, I thought so! He seems like the type of pokemon who isn't easily bothered. Yes, Daykare! Maybe she'll meet B.P.! Just kidding. XD

Oh, okay; maybe on that part you could mention that she didn't get a good look at him? :o I can understand why she didn't pay attention to him in the second part though. Okay!

XD Haha, me too actually, though I don't know much about him yet. xD

I type too fast! .0. Oh well. xD Yeah, I thought so too. I bet! I would be too.

It is the crystal rock I've had since I was five (don't ask XD). Now it has a name! Yay!

Yeah, especially since I see him as a serious kinda pokemon. xD

Okay, yay! I have my next TPoD chapter planned out (mostly, anyway, but I know what needs to happen) so I'm excited to write it. Going to get a little bit of Mind Whisperer written (a little bit as in a few paragraphs) then on to TPoD! Because I really want to write the next chapter. XD And thanks!

Yaaaaaaaaaay! I hope you receive a bigly amount of inspiredness.
8D I drew more today as well. xD

xD Well you don't have as many as me, so yeah. xDD Haha, yeah, I was wondering why I wrote it like that. xD

Yeah. xDD XDD B.P.! I hope she does meet her. xDD

I will. x) Plus it was mainly down his left side. o:

xDDDDDD Well that might change. ;)

.0. You do!

Haha, that's really cool. xDD Habib would be honoured...in a strange way!

Yeah, me too. xDD

Yay for TPoD! 8D Haha, a few paragraphs. x) I understand what you mean by a few paragraphs. xDD Okay!

OH YES I DID, and I hope you do too. xD

Quote:
Originally Posted by riolu42 View Post
It's weird thinking that Lucky was part of the Usster Colony. Especially when he had a family.

Other than that, I really liked the Slowking and Lickitung. Larse returns!!! Yay!
o: Why is that weird? But families live in colonies.

I'll tell them you like them. xDD Yay! Yeah, he's pretty alive. ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokol DaErran View Post
SUDDEN REALIZATION: MYSTERIOUS NICKNAME POKEMON IS TSUTAJA.

Excellently written as usual. Keep it up.
o: Mysterious nickname pokemon? *confused*

Why thank you. ^^ I INDENT TO! >8D

~GS.
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  #349  
Old 06-16-2010, 07:06 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

I'm referring to the mysterious Pokemon who keeps showing up and insulting Dusty's root-fighting abilities.
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  #350  
Old 06-16-2010, 07:39 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post


8D I drew more today as well. xD

xD Well you don't have as many as me, so yeah. xDD Haha, yeah, I was wondering why I wrote it like that. xD

Yeah. xDD XDD B.P.! I hope she does meet her. xDD

I will. x) Plus it was mainly down his left side. o:

xDDDDDD Well that might change. ;)

.0. You do!

Haha, that's really cool. xDD Habib would be honoured...in a strange way!

Yeah, me too. xDD

Yay for TPoD! 8D Haha, a few paragraphs. x) I understand what you mean by a few paragraphs. xDD Okay!

OH YES I DID, and I hope you do too. xD
Awesome! I WANNA SEEEEE! .0.

Really? I thought yours had less. XD

Me too!

Oh, okay; I don't remember which side of him Dusty saw. XD

I do! D:

I'm glad he is honored. =P

I did get bigly inspired! I have a TPoD chapter like...almost 3/4 finished! =D
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  #351  
Old 06-18-2010, 01:24 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokol DaErran View Post
I'm referring to the mysterious Pokemon who keeps showing up and insulting Dusty's root-fighting abilities.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Graceful_Suicune View Post
A section of his lips parted so many fangs glinted as he grunted in a humoured fashion. “Wonder how this’ll end...” With another chuckle, the creature rose and flicked a slim tail.
Does that sounds like a tsutaja to you? xDD And they weren't created when I wrote the chapter where he first appeared. xD But I'm glad you were trying to figure it out. xD


Dusty: I know! I can't believe he doubted my paw abilities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Awesome! I WANNA SEEEEE! .0.

Really? I thought yours had less. XD

Me too!

Oh, okay; I don't remember which side of him Dusty saw. XD

I do! D:

I'm glad he is honored. =P

I did get bigly inspired! I have a TPoD chapter like...almost 3/4 finished! =D
I'll show you some soon. xDD :D

No way! There are barely any typos in your stories! x3

xDD Well actually, it was the left side, but...kinda only his head and scythe and leg... Well, she wasn't paying attention and neither was I.

xD

That's so exciting! 8D I need to finish Chapter 47. xD

~GS.
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  #352  
Old 08-01-2010, 09:37 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Chapter Seventeen: A Tour

“Do you know him?” wondered a raticate. Her huge teeth were concealed inside her mouth as she eyed me curiously.

I stared into nothingness, looking at her, but...seeing straight through her. “...Yes,” I stated after silence, unhappy and my displeasure on display. I clenched my teeth, both reluctant and disbelieving. This was going to break my heart.

I saw the scyther who was a tiny bit darker green than usual move from the corner of my eye, and it looked as if he was about to say something, but he stopped himself as another pokémon spoke up. “Where was he?” asked the bellossom, and I barely made an effort to look at her to reply.

“On...um... On—on a ship.”

“Mummy...” began a rattata between the raticate who had spoken before and a male raticate, “what’s a ship?” The female normal type glanced down at her young one, but she gave him a look of uncertainty and unknowing.

“The ship,” began the scyther, Shard, “is a human transport.” He caught the eyes of many pokémon, including mine, and seemed comfortable with it.

Having had time or...whatever I needed to assess his detail properly since I’d seen him, I almost gasped. I hadn’t seen the left side of his body until I stared at it presently, scanning the many burn marks and faded scars that were scattered along his abdomen and thorax, as well as on his shoulder. It nearly shocked me; seeing such disturbing injuries made me think about what kind of fight he must have been involved in. It wasn’t often that I saw pokémon with long-residing injuries, so it made me wonder how he got them.

“It is a place for storage and a human’s way to carry whatever is being stored across a body of water.” He stood tall and knowledgeable as he spoke, obviously knowing what he was talking about. But while he spoke, I tilted my head. If all these other pokémon didn’t know, how come he did?

“Ooh. Why were you on that thing?” queried the heracross with a soft look, and I took a breath.

“...It was involuntary,” I mentioned quietly. My mind wound back as I eyed the ground. “All the pokémon on that ship were captured.”

A cluster of gasps rang throughout the group of pokémon, just as I had expected, and they exchanged concerned glances. Whispers floated between each of them, and I could hear scepticism trailing through some sentences.

“So you escaped,” stated the altaria bluntly, raising an eyebrow. It was as if she didn’t believe me.

I pierced her eyes with my serious expression. “Yes,” I answered, a solid quality to my tone.

“Well...what happened?” questioned a rather surprised and seemingly impatient sunflora.

I turned to him, twisting my head to a titled position. But before I could reply (if I was going to), a familiar face materialised at the end of the crowd. I nearly relaxed when I noticed who it was. “Leave her be,” she instructed, pokémon parting as she brushed along the path. “Upfront questions like this take time to be answered.”

“Zhol,” I whispered, grateful to be staring straight at her.

“Well, welcome back!” exclaimed a male raticate, scurrying forward and nodding as his eyes connected with that of the sneasel’s. His friendliness was warming, but the chill of my knowledge was not to be overcome.

Zhol bobbed her head, muttering, “Thanks,” and addressed me with her glance. I attempted a smile, but my muscles refused to be pulled, leaving my expression unchanged. The half dark type appeared before Habib, greeting the giant lickitung and his mate, who was beside Larse, with a curt bow. “We will give you a full report later.”

“Okay,” Habib agreed, looking less than expectant of the comment.

“Right now, Dusty needs some space.” She flashed a smile at me as I sighed inwardly with relief.

“Wait... What about Luck?” asked the scyther with a stern expression. I had to wonder how close he was to my ursaring friend, because he seemed keen to find out about him.

Later,” persisted Zhol, her eyes widening as she said so. She tapped me with her hefty claws and signalled for me to follow her, and I rained one last look on the large group of pokémon gathered in front of me before turning and walking with the sneasel in the opposite direction.

“Th...thanks,” I muttered, managing half a smile of appreciation. “It’s hard...y’ know?”

“Mm,” nodded the sneasel understandingly, taking me past the end of a street of huts, the large lake and a home similarly built to one of the bidoof/bibarel’s lodges that was half in the water and half on land. I didn’t think much of it, as I was focused on Zhol.

“Where are we going?” I wondered, my ears folding back.

“I want to show you something,” explained the sneasel, stepping from Usster soil and through the gates of the forest. I followed across the border and padded beside her, noting the thick rocky wall to my right that surrounded the north and west sides of the land. Since the wall didn’t complete its half-lap around the premises, we were able to have just exited through the west.

We walked in silence for roughly a minute, the forest staying the same. Some things that stayed far from ‘the same’ were my thoughts. They whizzed, bounced and zipped around inside, prodding me and provoking the miserable feeling so abundant now that I was faced with a serious dilemma. Did I have to be the one to reveal the truth to everyone? Was it my burden to bear until dropping the bomb on everybody? And as unfair as it seemed, I reminded myself that there was nothing that seemed just in the past two or so weeks. It’d been one large boot up the backside.

“Dusty?” wondered Zhol, plucking me from my internal debate and placing me out in the open. I tuned in with a look. “I can listen...if you want me to.”

I smiled on the inside. “...Thanks, Zhol.” I was happy to see her smile back.

We proceeded forward, the calm but continuous pace repeating itself. I craned my neck at giant trees looming like guardians over their vast sanctuary, their limbs blocking paths but creating opportunities for homes and shelter at the same time. The flapping of wings sounded nearby, and my eyes followed a spearow who perched upon the edge of a nest in a forked branch. A worm dropped from her mouth and into the tiny beak belonging to one of her chicks.

Suddenly my mind leaped back in time to the spot near that tall birch tree Izante had so easily bounded up. I remembered her ability to spring so very high, and balancing on those branches was something no leafeon could easily accomplish. She’d never done such a thing before me prior to that one moment...and somehow it bugged me. And those bizarre words she’d uttered—the thing that she said right before she jumped up those branches...

“Like a rocket...” I snapped my head to Zhol. “Like a rocket; like a rocket!” I babbled, capturing her gaze. Her eyes were as round as oran berries. “A rocket! You know... Rocket? Team Rocket? She was chanting!”

Zhol’s eyebrows climbed up her face, her mouth a small triangle below her nose. Clearly she had no idea what I was talking about. She kept quiet until she realised I was going to keep my eyes fixed on hers.
“Look,” I began, twirling around and leaping into a tree, thudding with a solid impact. With a groan I fell on my butt. “Ouch... That didn’t work...” I spun ‘round and weaved between tree trunks until I found one with branches somewhat close to the ground. I threw my glance over my shoulder to ensure Zhol was still in my space, and sure enough, she came to be behind me in moments. With a waggle of my tail-end and a spring in my step, I leapt, clambering clumsily onto a decently-sized branch. My front paws tried desperately to attain some form of grip as my back legs did the same, but they slipped uselessly. In the next heartbeat, I lay on my back, an upside down Zhol glaring with concern and perplexity. The shot of pain up my spine intensified as I rolled onto my paws again, standing up. “See?”

Her look was only magnified. “That you...fell?” she guessed.

“Exactly,” I sighed, sitting in front of her. “Normal trainers don’t train their pokémon in the art of tree climbing.” I hooked my bottom lip around my teeth, taking a second to think. I shook my head repetitively. “...Do you know what this means?” The sneasel shook her head slowly. “It means that she learnt that from someone other than her master. Someone like Team Rocket.” I wandered off in thought, Zhol trailing. “I bet Team Rocket has some sort of ability training the pokémon have to go through to make them stronger—otherwise there’d be no difference between them and ordinary trainer or wild pokémon.” I searched my mind for more examples, stumbling across a single simple one. “It must be how that Mr. Mime held up that barrier and light screen attack for so long! And it was really strong!” I whirled around. “Remember? Back on the ship? Zhol?”

“Y-yes,” she answered uncomfortably, and I could see that she was wondering where I was headed with all of this. “Dusty, what...”

I felt about to talk, but my teeth clicked together...and my jaws relaxed into a motionless state. I slumped my body against a tree, narrowly avoiding a splinter as I slid down to be seated. “She is a Rocket pokémon... I know she is...” My stare was aimless until it locked onto a flake of bark half buried in the taupe soil.

I barely noticed as Zhol came down to my level in a crouch. “...Who?” she asked in a simple tone, her eyes fixed on me.

My eyes swivelled after waiting for the right moment. An expression contorted with misery and disappointment radiated from my face before finding the dark and ice type’s gaze. “...Izante.”

***

A series of wing-beats echoed around, two pairs of talons seeping into the ground with a doomp. A dark bird-like pokémon shook himself off, glancing about. The curved feather bunch on his head swayed as the wind blew through his grey and white tail feathers. His orange and brown beak pointed towards his company, his frustration clouding his face of jagged white. His smallish eyes of brown and charcoal surveyed the area, spotting a swaying leaf and a fallen log. The undergrowth was plentiful and constantly flew and settled shortly after. A pidgey on watch hopped into her nest, a mouse scuttled for shelter under an arch of thick bark, and other than that, a few crickets hummed in the near distance. A warm light latched onto the staravia’s left wing from above and another breeze charged through to cause ruffling feathers. “Where on Earth are they?” huffed the flying type in a gruff voice. “They do understand we have other charges, I hope.”

“I think they’re new,” commented the second pokémon, her tone much softer. However, an indifferent edge to it was present. “They should be here soon.” She waddled with her coral-red legs to a branch a wing’s stretch above her head, tilting her sepia neck. The feathers bordering the tops of her eyes and resting on her head, which were the same colour as her legs, hung more freely as they dangled due to their unusual angle, and a curled pink beak directed orange eyes to an empty home of bent twigs. “Pidgey,” stated the flying type, a short-feathered bird pokémon showing herself after a moment of hesitation. She side-stepped from behind the cluster of leaves she was previously peeking through and bounced onto her nest’s edge, puffing up protectively. “Have you seen a small group of pokémon pass through here?” she asked in a mellow manner. Her deep pink and yellow fan of a tail swayed gently while her yellow-tinted cream underside rose and fell subtly, all signs of a threat absent.

In seeing this, the flying type flattened her coat slightly and eyed the bird duo. After another session of analysis, the pidgey stepped into her nest and made herself comfortable. “Why, no. No, I have not.”
“Damn it!” cursed the starling pokémon, pounding the air with his wings.

The startled pidgey retreated into herself suddenly, squeaking with unsureness.

“Stop it!” chirped the pidgeotto, her stern expression slicing into the staravia’s behaviour and temporarily removing any trace of choleric attitude. She returned her glance to a member of her pre-evolutionary species. “Pay him no attention,” she requested, noticing the pidgey had no positive reaction. “Thank you.” She glided in the opposite direction, her partner following, and once they were no longer within earshot of the pidgey, the pidgeotto landed, whipping around to end up face to face with the male bird pokémon. “You fool!” she screeched. “What’s the good of scaring off the locals when we’re not supposed to bother them? He can’t build a successful empire when no pokémon will want to oblige! If they all think like that pidgey, they will know him as irrational and frightening, and likely disagree with him!”

The staravia just snorted. “Let them cower! Who cares?”

He does,” hissed the bird pokémon, her voice hushed and her watchful eye frantic as if she expected someone to leap at her and tear her to pieces.

“Hey, you,” an ominous voice rang, giving the flying duo a start. They glanced about, unable to detect anything with their eyes. The pidgeotto swallowed, sensing something nearby but still seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

The staravia and his partner were not expecting a togepi to step out of thin air and appear before them. A malicious grin crept onto his face, and he hopped to the side as his illuminated red irises glowed with excitement. Next an ivysaur hobbled from where the egg pokémon came, his timid expression not fully confident. He shook off, loose leaves falling from his body. His gait formed into a limp, blood creeping from where one of his claws was attached on his hind leg.

The last to become visible was a Mr. Mime, who side-stepped from behind his seemingly invisible wall. The navy blue hair sprouting from either side of his head was frayed and messy, and his glove-like hands were stained with brown and maroon. “Are you the messengers?” he questioned, a creepy tint to his tone.
“Y-yes,” confirmed the pidgeotto, her partner a bit too shocked to reply. “Wh—what’s your position?”
“Standing,” the togepi answered amusedly.

The staravia gathered himself and sneered with narrowed eyes at the small cream pokémon. “Get serious and cut the games.”

“That’s my job,” the Mr. Mime intervened, a neutral look about his face. “We’re in pursuit.” He looked down at the two pokémon beside him. “How far do you think, boys?”

“Um,” began the grass type, “three days...behind? I think?” he guessed, and received a generous nod of approval from the Mr. Mime. The dark-coloured bird pokémon didn’t look as impressed.

“Can you give a precise answer?” he growled, exhaling impatiently. But when the green pokémon didn’t say anything, he added, “Well? Ivysaur?”

“...M...my name—”

“No-one cares about your name in this biz, kid,” the grouch of a pokémon informed. “Now, can you give me an accurate position or not?”

“You could use a smile or two once in a while,” interrupted the tall white and pink pokémon, something off about his general vibe.

The staravia was moderately confused at the remark and merely drew his head back in slight disgust. “...What?” he mumbled to his partner, and she shrugged, clearly unfazed by it.

The ivysaur glanced helplessly to the pidgeotto and then back to the barrier pokémon beside him. “Th...three days,” he decided on his own. “If...if we hurry, we can catch up soon.”

“Good,” the female flying type nodded, extending a wing out in front of her colleague. “We will report back to headquarters with your status.” She made a head gesture before taking to the skies with the staravia, their multicoloured tails soaring with the wind as they used the current to their advantage.

“...Messengers are so stupid,” commented the foot-tall normal type. He chuckled and took a seat to rest his sore feet.

“Funny,” grinned the Mr. Mime toothily, his creepy gaze meeting that of the togepi’s, “I’ve never liked them either.”

The togepi smirked, rolling backwards and into a stalk strong enough to prop him up. “At least we’ll get what we came for soon.” He gave an open yawn. “I’m looking forward to it.”

***

I had barely talked for a few minutes before a call echoed, a name bouncing between tree trunks. “Zhol!” We both flung ourselves up and waited until a tall figure invaded my vision. “You need to—”

As if having forgotten Zhol had walked off with me about five minutes before, the scyther shot understated daggers into my eyes. “Ouch,” I mumbled to myself, surprised with how harsh this pokémon was. He was probably suspicious of me, though, because I was new and unknown. I experienced a moment of reasoning before shrugging.

“Habib would like to see you,” he continued, keeping his scythes suspended at his waist. I hadn’t seen scyther very often, so I wasn’t sure where they normally held their sword-like arms, but where they were on this dude sure did look defensive to me.

The sneasel turned to me, tilting her head. “Yeah, I’ll come,” I decided, and she perked up before striding in the direction of the colony. I noticed Shard hesitate a moment longer before zipping in front. With a sidewards mouth, I pulled myself towards Zhol and followed her through the bracken. “Does this mean you won’t get to show me whatever it was you...wanted to show me?”

“It’s fine,” she replied quickly. “I’ll show you to it later.”

Within no time we were back at the entrance to the colony’s grounds, and I waited a few minutes as Zhol vanished through the near doorway of Habib’s home. I had been unsure whether or not I really wanted to re-enter the colony’s land. ‘I have nothing else to do and nowhere else to go,’ I admitted to myself hopelessly, knowing that initiating a search for my trainer at this point was useless for multiple reasons. But another Luck question and I decided that I’d disappear again. I just don’t know how I would take it. It was so tough to lose a friend. And even tougher to have to break the news to a bunch of pokémon who were closely acquainted with the same pokémon, and who, on top of that, knew him for a much broader duration of time... It was bad enough watching him fall to the deathly depths below the ship’s edge, and having to retell the information to someone who would react in a manner similar to how I reacted just made it so unfair. I knew it was my responsibility to reveal the horrible news. I just didn’t want it to be.

“Flareon!” demanded a somewhat gravelly but annoyingly-pitched voice. My gaze presented me with a stout pokémon whose head was masked nearly entirely by a skull. The object he clutched within his paw that was directed in a straight line right at me was also a bone, and I began to wonder how cubone get to obtain their precious external body parts. “Come here.” I didn’t fancy taking orders from a little squirt such as himself, and what bugged me even more was the fact that he seemed to believe he had disturbingly high authority. I trotted reluctantly in his direction, the only real reason I obeyed being that Zhol took her place beside him as they conversed, and when I arrived, I snatched their last few words about some sort of ‘tour’. “Hi, Zhol.” I turned to the cubone only when he cleared his throat. “Oh...hi.”


Continued in the next post...
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 10-01-2012 at 09:14 AM.
  #353  
Old 08-01-2010, 09:39 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

“Yes, greetings,” he hastily muttered, completely uninterested in me. I wasn’t fazed though. Not like I cared who he was.

“Dusty,” Zhol began, and my attention was completely drawn to her.

Yes, Zhol?” I responded overenthusiastically, nearing her suddenly. “My very helpful friend who I value greatly—what is it you want to inquire? A request? Would you like to...inform me of something?” I spun around, and for no reason twirled, turning back. “Enlighten me with your words oh-so-wise, friend! My ears welcome your words.”

The sneasel’s face was clouded with nothing but bewilderment as she stared, and the cubone just eyed me with disgust mingled with confusion. Silence increased our distance and began playing with my fur until I sighed and sent it scurrying off.

“Yes, I’m that strange. Anyway,” I continued, adjusting my tongue and sweeping the ground with my tail. “You were saying?”

“U-uhh...” Zhol glanced to her left at the cubone, then back to me. “Habib thinks that a tour would be a good idea for you,” she explained, and I nodded understandingly. A tour sounded good to me!

“Alright.” I took a breath, a smile crossing my face. “Okay! So where are you taking me first?” I inquired.
The two pokémon exchanged a silent sentence during their little eye contact session which I was completely excluded from, and before I could say anything, Zhol cleared her throat, her gaze choosing the ground before me. “Well...to get you accustomed to living with the other residents of the colony, he thought that...someone else could take you.”

“Cupborn, you can call me,” the cubone insisted deliberately, “and I will be your guide.”

The awkward silence slipped between us once again, blushing and looking in the opposite direction so it, too, didn’t have to look the odd pause in the face. Our eyes flicked to one another, and I hardly knew what to think. I was just waiting for that convenient tumbleweed to roll right on by and trip up on a rock or two.
“This...is Dusty,” Zhol stated, holding out a paw in my direction.

“Zhol!” called the scyther suddenly from Habib’s home—which rested nearby.

“Coming,” the sneasel replied with less volume than the oversized bug had, and I blinked several times, finally realising she wouldn’t be accompanying me.

“W-wait! Zhol, where’re you going?”

“I’ve got to hunt with Shardclaw,” she informed, and my expression turned into a bitter sneer. She had to leave. Right now. I wasn’t exactly in the best mood, having just talked about my best friend who, only days ago, betrayed me, and having just found out that I would be shown around my new home by a haughty ground type. He had to be a ground type!

“Come on, flareon,” pushed the marowak pre-evolution, but I snorted at him.

“Zhol! They shouldn’t expect you to hunt when you only just got back!”

“Well, they do,” the dark and ice type answered, shrugging. She turned to leave, but stopped herself in time to draw her face close to mine. With a slightly pleading but amused look, she added, “And, Dusty... Play nice,” before she left in a blur that was no more than a dark figure zipping across the dirt.

“Was that supposed to be advice?” I asked myself, chuckling through my nose.

“Flareon!” snapped the small, brown pokémon.

“What?!” I snapped right back.

He narrowed his eyes and drew backwards. “We don’t have all day,” he growled.

“Thanks for the info,” I remarked with sarcasm that evidently stung. I trotted past him, watching as what I could see of his face grew a reddish tinge. It made me smirk.

“Immature fire type,” Cupborn uttered under his breath—but clearly too loudly.

“Over-confident cubone,” I retorted. Boy, it felt good to play his game.

“Shut up and follow me.” The agitated pokémon marched past me, and I rolled my eyes as I trailed.

My head hung as my tuft masked part of my face. My shoulders protruded with every step that pressed my paws against the ground, my tail hanging feebly. I wore embarrassment on my forehead as I passed a sunflora carrying hay walking ahead of one of the raticate who spoke to me earlier. Although the rat-like pokémon nodded as a friendly gesture, I could only wince half-heartedly in return and hope it looked somewhat comfortable.

“Greech; Hyso,” my tour guide named clearly (in the order I saw them, I imagine). He led me down and in the direction of that lake I avoided before, but he turned so the water was behind us. As I padded, I glanced ahead, noticing a vast plain where the pokémon had gathered to greet Larse. The fruit shed where I had crashed and woken up in not long ago was across the other side, near many trees. However, before we came near it, Cupborn halted abruptly and faced me. “This is the Den Row.”

After scowling as I nearly thudded into him, I threw my glance down the wide path to my left that bore assorted pokémon all with assorted intentions. There were only about five, but they were almost all of a different species. To both sides of the path were homes of different sizes and builds. Some resembled ones I saw back at the bibarel colony, and others looked totally different. I imagined that they were built with the type of the pokémon whose home it was in mind. For instance, normal and flying types would probably need more insulation than ice or fire types when it came to the cold; fire, rock and ground pokémon would have thicker rooves in case of rain, and so on. But I hadn’t ever seen a colony like this one which actually had houses. They greatly reminded me of human houses, although much less refined, and I’d always thought most wild pokémon (or from what I’d seen, anyway) would live in simple dens, hollows or nests. Turned out I was wrong.

He pointed out that to our right was the home belonging to Hyso and his family, and the one that started further up but on the left was where Greech and his family lived. Back to the right side again, nearly in line with Greech and his family’s house, was apparently a home which ‘Rentana’ and ‘Etire’ occupied...whoever they were. As we went on, he pointed out his house, and houses belonging to other assorted pokémon with random names.

I tuned out as I marvelled at the largest house of them all...which didn’t look much like a house. On ‘Den Row,’ I counted five homes in total running up the left side, and behind the two furthest away lay a rather big building. It appeared to have the strongest tree trunks and slabs of stone sewn into the walls, and by the looks of the outside, it had no windows...or entrances. Its west and north walls were not built, as they were instead the thick rock that bordered the west and north ends of the colony’s land. Once the left and right sides of the houses met at the end of the path where two connected dens sat, that was as far as the homes reached. Behind the connected dens was that stretching rock that continued off to the side, past a dense patch of trees which separated about a third of the colony’s land from the rest of it. I was in the larger part, from what I’d glimpsed, and the side containing the busiest pokémon and structures.

“Zhol,” he pointed out once we’d ventured to the end of the path. The homes this far up surrounded a small waterhole that stretched to my left, under someone’s hut, and onward under the huge building I had noticed before, the one with no windows. Zhol’s was one up from the house with the trail of water snaking underneath, and to the right of it, my right, was the direction Cupborn pointed his bone. “Aemara, her clinic, Tarla.” He began going down the right side now, mentioning who lived in the three homes before he would have repeated to tell me where ‘Renta’...or something...and Et...something lived—an early house mentioned on the tour.

“Uh-huh.” I blurted flatly. I threw him a look with my eyelids at half-mast. “You know I’m not gonna remember all this, or any of this, right?”

“Follow me through here,” he demanded without so much as a grunt in reply beforehand.

We walked back around the waterhole to brush between two homes on the right strip, leaving the large half of the land behind, and excused ourselves past some random trees, walking alongside the north rock bordering the territory and heading east, before edging the start of a sort of long grove of trees. They stretched on behind the right side of houses and then dipped in and stood guard at the entrance side of the fruit shack. Not that all this was important or anything. We avoided the trees, coming closer to the bordering rocky wall, but in front of it sat another two homes. One had been slightly out of my general line of sight where we had been standing previously (next to the waterhole), so I was almost surprised to see that, but the bigger one, which popped up right as we left the waterhole, was totally visible the whole time.

The cubone released three names, and then moved on to the one next door (with its entrance dipped into the trees). “This hut belongs to Yukra and Mosst,” he told me, as if expecting me to know who those pokémon were, and suddenly break out with an acknowledging noise which would tell him I just recalled their entire pasts and could present them to him on a silver platter.

‘This guy is unbelievable,’ I thought with a sour twist, huffing inwardly. But I went over the name, remembering that the heracross had been called ‘Yukra’ when he opened Habib’s door for him. “Ohh,” I muttered, a certain acknowledging tone to it. I then paused. ‘Huh. This guy’s good,’ I thought with a laugh.

We rounded the back of the house, and I tried to walk on my hind paws in order to see through a dislodged part of a log. I had no luck, my front paws thudding onto the earth. “Stupid...inconvenient...incapacitated...legs!” After passing the short side of the long stream of forest material, another site scurried into view. A rather...long and unexpected one.

A playground. A log that was propped onto a specially-carved stump creaked endlessly as a duo of pokémon – one on each end – weighed down one side at a time. As I was led towards it, I spotted mankey bars made from strong branches and tied together with what looked like rope, and other climbing structures of similar materials. A section of the playground was fenced off to hold a smallish pool barely my height in depth, and in a corner at the other end was a pit containing gritty sand.

Other features were incorporated into the long space in the land, but I became side-tracked as a large figure emerged from the home that resided a few metres from the long side of the playground (the one that didn’t have the random tree expanse behind it). “This den belongs to Wynore, Bibi and Luck,” explained the cubone up-front, and I flinched, a spike tearing through my stomach and twisting three times. I then identified the newly-appeared figure, and I couldn’t help but tense up for more than one reason upon seeing the apparent ursaring invade my line of sight. I hesitated in following Cupborn as he neared and looked about to greet her. “Come on, flareon!”

Dusty,” I replied bitterly, keeping my head low and my body alert as I padded up by his side.

The female ursaring eyed me warily as I did the same, but our staring contest was interrupted. “Wynore, Flar—”

“Dusty!”

“...Wynore,” he restated, glaring at me. “She runs the kindergarten. Or, more respectively, daycare.”

‘They have a daycare here?’ I wondered, not expecting something like that. “H...hi.”

“We have met,” Wynore uttered to Cupborn, taking her eyes from mine. “Nice...to meet you,” she admitted awkwardly.

“Yeah...you too,” I replied, discomfort wagging its tail in my face.

“Wynore!” someone from inside the house called, and soon a dirty-cream coloured slender pokémon loped from the entrance and landed behind the ursaring. “...Oh.” Her gaze touched on my face before fixing itself on the cubone beside me. “Company!” she sung, her bright blue eyes a nice change of atmosphere.
“I’m Dusty,” I introduced, wearing a smile while hoping she’d reflect it. However, there was nothing to hope for as I realised she already was.

The brown-striped pokémon sat down on her hind legs, her form becoming much taller and still as sleek. Her front leg with two noticeable claws on it came up to rest on her front as she said, “That is a lovely name. Mine is Mynk.”

“Tha—” Suddenly I noticed something—something I should have picked up on the moment she bounded from the shack. Her head was uneven. And in saying that, I meant...she only had one ear. The left one was less than a stump. It was as if something had sliced through its base and left not a trace of one ever being there...except for the minimally exposed but completely healed skin with a thin layer of fur covering it. By the looks of it, it had happened a long time ago. So, not focusing my energy on something so distracting, my eyes returned to hers. “That’s a...nice...name too.”

“Thank you.” She swivelled her head and addressed the other normal type, and I drew a sigh. She hadn’t noticed I had been staring at her missing ear. If one of mine was gone, I’d hate to have others watch it intently too, as if they were trying to work out the mystery behind it when I could so easily just tell them.
“Moving on,” the cubone began, plodding back in the direction we came.

“Oh, see you, Cubbs!” Mynk began waving a paw, the ground type freezing on the spot and whirling around immediately.

“Cubbs?!” he spat, hardly believing what he heard. “Where did you hear that stupid nickname?” he demanded, marching forward several paces to meet the linoone’s nose. “Tell me!”

“Oh, I’m sorry...” she apologised, her tone shrinking in volume. “I wasn’t aware that—”

“Just tell me why you called me that,” he growled, clenching his bone tighter.

“Hey, would you calm down?” I requested, squeezing between the two pokémon. “She was just having a play around.”

“I don’t have time for playing around,” snapped the clearly-grumpy tour guide. He almost stabbed his eyes back into Mynk’s before I intervened once more.

“Give ‘er some space! Sheesh!”

“Dusty.” I was quick to meet her. “...It’s...it’s okay,” the normal type reassured, and I cocked my head. It was? “Yukra and I were discussing everybody’s roles, and—”

“Yukra?!” exclaimed the marowak pre-evolution, resentment flooding his tone. I nearly chuckled.

Without warning, the adorable, innocent little teddiursa I had seen not long ago peered at us from inside the doorway of the permanently split-up family’s house, her tiny paws gripping the wood. “Mummy?”

“C-coming, Bibi,” Wynore stated, barely excusing herself before she swept up her child and disappeared inside the home. In the meantime, Cupborn was seething as he stomped back and forth, muttering indecipherable words under his breath as he apparently forgot about my tour.

“Cubbs...‘ey?” I whispered amusedly into, embarrassingly, the non-ear-holding side of Mynk’s noggin. I heard her blow a chuckle through her nostrils as she shrunk to my height.

“...I guess he doesn’t take unauthorised nicknames well,” she theorised, and I nodded.

“I gathered that too!” I exclaimed, meaning to sound silly.

“Mummy!” The sound of a small pokémon yelping caught my attention, and I rotated my head into the direction it came from. A tiny asparagus coloured head appeared behind two of many beams of wood: the fence around the daycare. Small paws rested on the bottom railing, which was waist-height for the pokémon.

“Oh, excuse me,” the linoone quickly uttered, loping to the fence with needless effort. She peered over it once on her hind legs, resting her forelegs on to top beam. The small pokémon below her stared up with red triangle eyes, black marks coming to a point right below them. A long sort of spike with a red tip was planted on the creature’s head, and a maroon belly held horizontal lines. Stubby arms reached pleadingly at Mynk’s looming form, and the normal type dipped her head for it to be held in the green pokémon’s embrace.

“...‘Mummy’?” I whispered disbelievingly, rather perplexed. Mynk was the evolutionary species of a zigzagoon. And a larvitar was claiming to be her daughter? “Is that even possible?” I wondered in an awkward giggle. My gaze jumped about restlessly as I searched for somewhere to look, and Cupborn happened to fall into my sight. However, he was...leaving. For some odd reason, the cubone was waddling with stiff arms around the trees, slowly becoming smaller as he gained more distance. “C-Cupborn!” I yelled, taking a step forward with my left leg. He continued stomping for about a metre more before turning and causing me to dodge the spears his enraged eyes spat. I shook off, opening my mouth again. “Where are you going? Aren’t we gonna finish—”


“There’s nothing else I need to show you!” boomed the cubone, and I was taken slightly aback. He then whipped himself around and disappeared behind the trees.

“...Fine,” I mumbled, trotting over to Mynk. At least she was showing some manners.

“Dusty,” she said after noticing me. I stopped and responded. “Can you please watch the pokémon for a moment? I need to get something; I’ll only be a minute!”

A frown stroked my face and ran off, and I blinked a few times in a row. “Uh...o...kay?”

“Thank you,” she mentioned, placing a paw on my shoulder before dashing into the vegetation collection.
I faced the long, rectangle playground, flashing a glance up and down it. At least twelve or so pokémon frolicked about, throwing things, racing, climbing, blabbering, rolling, digging, swimming, gliding and wearing grins that should by all rights not fit on their faces. Some sat in groups and others sat in pairs or by themselves. I caught sight of a lone scrawny charmander placed in a corner to my right where the grass grew tall. Surprisingly her tail flame avoided all contact with any plantation, but at the same time, it seemed unlikely anyway considering how dimly it burned. Her face was almost expressionless. Dare I say, it was...hollow. As if all positive emotion had been drained and stored in some hole mountains away. She stared at the dirt in a small mound before her body, her paws occasionally touching it and then recoiling, her eyes twitching as she did so. Her belly barely seemed to move, and a number of times I thought her oxygen flow had ceased. She also looked pale and unresponsive, especially as other pokémon rushed by her before prancing to the other end, where most of the toddlers played. I couldn’t take my eyes off her though... She was so...dull, so devoid of spirit; devoid of life.


Continued in the next post...
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 10-01-2012 at 09:14 AM.
  #354  
Old 08-01-2010, 09:42 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

I became distracted as rustling sounded and a pale figure emerged from the elongated grove, her slim body darting up to the fence beside me again. “I’m back!” Mynk announced, a half squashed fruit dropping from her mouth and into her upturned paw. She attempted to keep it balanced as she held it over the larvitar’s head. It fell unintentionally from the hopeless surface, and it splattered onto the ground in a heap. However, it wasn’t damaged more than it was in the first place, so the rock and ground type drew up the fruit and began nibbling on it.

“Welcome back,” I replied unenthusiastically and just a little too late. I cringed as I couldn’t help but focus back onto the fire type sitting so woefully on her own...

The linoone must have jumped on my train of thought as she followed where I directed my eyes. “...That’s Libbi.” I detected traces of sorrow and remorse flowing throughout Mynk’s words as she spoke, and I felt the exact same way. “She’s...a troubled pokémon. She, uh...doesn’t like to play with the other pokémon.”

“But...why?”

“She doesn’t let herself get close to anyone...”

“What’s...” I had to search for the right words before coming up with what I could find. “What’s wrong with her?”

Mynk shifted uncomfortably, glazing her tongue over her bottom lip. “She...she suffered a...very serious trauma only a number of months ago. As a result...she’s withdrawn and depressed.”

“Wow... But she’s so...young.”

“Yes...” I watched as the pokémon’s head lifted. “She was brought here by her guardian, a squirtle. The squirtle – Palue – explained to us what had happened to her.” Her head tilted, and soon she was eying the ground. And when she said nothing more, I gave the situation a small push, hoping to hear more.

“...Well...what happened?”

“Um...” began the normal type, meeting me again. “Her brother...drowned in a river right before her eyes.”

Suddenly a rush of needles tingled down my spine and through my legs, as if a gust of wind had just struck my insides. I swallowed my saliva. “W...what? He drowned?”

Mynk’s eyes squeezed tears, and they crept down her face as she tried to smile in the presence of her deemed child. “Yes.”

“Crap,” I breathed, my gaze fitting itself back to the space Libbi was huddled in. “The poor child.” My mind turned as I pictured several things: Luck and Roarake separately falling before they broke the ocean’s surface; my body in the clutches of a controlled armaldo, my lungs desperate for air; the leap of faith from the ship’s edge; coming close to tumbling off that cliff back at the bibarel colony... And finally, a helpless charmander child flailing wildly at the mercy of a ruthless river... I could only prey that he had become unconscious before he inhaled enough water to do the final deed...

“Mummy...you’re crying!” pointed out the larvitar, presenting a curious look as an outstretched paw fit between two beams and touched the linoone’s coat.

Mynk brought the back of a paw to her eyes and cleared them of the salty liquid. “It’s...it’s nothing, dear,” she lied, but I didn’t blame her. Had the small child understood what had been said, well...that would have been beyond awful.

I waited a moment before changing the subject, glancing at the larvitar still finishing off the berry. “So, uhh...” I shook my head, attempting to rid it of awful imagery and certain recent thoughts. “You and that larvitar...”
“Me!” cheered the adorable dual type with eyes full of glorious potential.

“Yes, you,” I giggled, turning back to Mynk. “Is she your...actual...?”

“Oh, n-no. Certainly not,” Mynk laughed, the sadness still raking her voice. She probably knew the larvitar wouldn’t have picked up on what I was getting at, so she seemed fine to talk about it in front of her. However, she rotated her body so she wasn’t talking in her child’s direction. “More than a year ago, a few Usster members were investigating a matter in the mountains,” she began, signalling to a snowy peak not far off. “In one of the more rocky areas...one of my friends found an egg leaning against a boulder. The group brought it back here, and I nursed it until it hatched...” She fit a paw through a gap in the railing, and then stroked the small pupitar pre-evolution’s head. A flicker of a soft smile flashed across the linoone’s face before disappearing. “I couldn’t take my eyes off her,” she reminisced, a sparkling light dancing between her marble-like eyes, “so I did the only thing I was thinking of at the time. I adopted her.”

“Oh,” I responded, thinking that made sense. “But...how could you be sure she didn’t have a mother?”

“Well...we can’t be sure,” the normal type answered. “...I always wondered why she was abandoned. And so recently, too.”

“Wait...what do you mean?”

“Miraculously...the egg was warm when they found her. But there was nobody around who could have owned her. They even waited some minutes to ensure they wouldn’t be unintentionally abducting her, but they knew they couldn’t wait too long at risk of letting the egg cool in the frigid climate.”

“Really?” I questioned, finding that convenient but...odd. “That is weird.”

“It was a major relief,” she corrected, her brow sinking to create a worried look. “If they had found her cold, then...well, th-then...”

“But it wasn’t,” I pressed, dipping my head to catch Mynk’s gaze.

We both said nothing as she gave a meek smile, nodding. “...It wasn’t.”

***

Mynk and I had left the kids with Wynore in charge after asking her to. She had accepted with haste, barely making eye contact and not bothering to share a proper conversation with me or my new linoone friend. After that, Mynk had led me around the other end of the long rows of trees, and we were in the midst of passing the fruit shack when she spoke up.

“She isn’t normally like that...” she explained, and I cocked my head, about to ask who. “Wynore...she’s not usually like that. At least, not when Lakane’s around.” At the mention of the ursaring, something pinched me and I flinched inwardly. “The poor thing... When he returns, she will be back to her normal self again, though,” she reasoned, and again came the source-less pain.

“Y-yeah...” I moaned quietly, feeling completely out of my comfort zone.

“Lakane is Wynore’s mate,” she continued, “but most of us call him Luck.”

“I-I know...” I felt my ears bend as we padded on. The secret was killing me. I didn’t know how much longer I could keep it to myself. I didn’t want to keep it to myself, but more than that, I didn’t want to tell anyone else... Wynore would be this way forever, and their teddiursa would be permanently fatherless.

“Oh? You do?”

“Y-yes... I was on...I was with him when he...when he...” I held back my breathing, unable to complete my sentence.

“When he...disappeared?” asked the linoone.

“Uhh...yeah.”

“Really? I have never seen your face around these parts before,” she mused, looking as if she was searching her mind for memories or some clue as to how that made sense.

“We...knew each other...from places...” I stuttered, unsure of how to put it. She thought I meant when he vanished from the colony’s grounds, and I meant...when he disappeared into the waves and from the Earth’s face.

“Oh.”

“Look, I’ll—I’ll fill you all in later,” I offered, turning away and looking up ahead at the nearing homes.

“Alright,” agreed Mynk, completely satisfied. She didn’t seem inclined in any way to probe me for answers, which suited me fine! “How long are you staying for?”

“Me? Oh... Well...I was offered a place here for as long as I like, I think...”

“Oh! So you aren’t a visitor?”

“N-no. At least, I don’t think so!” I chuckled, trying to remember exactly what Habib had told me.

“Splendid!” she exclaimed enthusiastically. “While you’re here, I can introduce you to the pokémon that live here.”

I nodded half-heartedly. “Sounds good.” And we said not another word to each other before we reached the first house on the right. I remembered who lived there: the raticate and his family.

“A family of raticate live here with their baby rattata,” mentioned Mynk, and I nodded. “Although, I imagine only Gigin is home right now. Taka was one of the rattata at the daycare, and Hyso is probably out hunting.”

‘Hunting?’ I though with confusion. “But...aren’t raticate herbivores?”

Mynk shook her head decisively. “No, they are omnivores.”

“Oh...really? All my life I thought they only ate seeds and vegetables.” I shrugged, figuring it was insignificant anyway.

“Haha, no. They enjoy both, as I imagine you would.”

“Yes...” I shifted my eyes on purpose. “I’m a real veggie lover.”

I smiled as Mynk giggled at my humour, and we entered the home leisurely. As we appeared in a large room, I glanced about. It was unlike what I expected: a large batch of hay that needed replacing lay piled to create a bed in the far right corner, and surprisingly, a human soft-toy lay outstretched in the middle. At some point in the left wall was a square space that held thick rocks with several small, unscathed logs. A removable log could be seen above it, where the ceiling was in the compartment, and I guessed that that was a section where the smoke would be let out through.

There were a few other things that barely interested me, and I payed no attention to them as a bronze figure stepped out from behind a wooden table (which was basically a slab of wood with stumps at all corners). She displayed a toothy grin after a wary expression once she noticed Mynk. “Hello, old friend,” she greeted, scampering on all fours up to us. “And...who are you?” She returned to her hind legs, sitting upright.

“This is Dusty,” the linoone answered for me, and to that Gigin bobbed her head.

“Hi,” I said with deliberate politeness; I was about to take a seat but changed my mind.

She nodded in return, her long tail sitting flat on the minimally padded floor.

“Dusty will be staying with us for a while,” Mynk mentioned, “so I thought I’d show her about.” She appeared happy, and then added, “And you’re first.”

“Well,” Gigin chuckled, “good to have you.” Next she invited us to come in properly and take a seat, and I did so, habitually curling my tail around one side of me.

As the two normal types began chatting, I glanced around the room, focusing on random things. I fiddled with my toes and must have looked cross-eyed as I watched my tuft, folding my brow over my eyes with amusement.

I hardly heard footsteps before I turned around to spot a body in the doorway. Two appendages hung from its head, and its blue body...be-became...visible... “Gigin, I got that hay you—”

The pokémon froze in the instant she saw me, and our expressions were the same as we stared intently. The small hessian sack in her mouth dropped, and she didn’t even flinch as it dropped to the floor. All else was erased from my sight as I kept my eyes in place. I heard the chatter cease, and the only sound became silence. I dared to breathe.

“...Azure?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Yep. xDD This was longer than I thought it would be. .0. And I know it was a boring chapter, but you got some insight into some characters. x) HOPEFULLY I CAN HAVE THE NEXT ONE UP SOONISH.

Go HERE for Libbi's story; go HERE for Mynk's story.

ALSO. I have a silly little parody of Through the Eyes of a Flareon, inspired by Scy's, which I'll post after this post. xDD
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Pe2k's spiritual successor! :D I'm Suicune's Fire there.

Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 10-01-2012 at 09:17 AM.
  #355  
Old 08-01-2010, 09:48 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

(This is the silly parody one. xD) And it pretty much sums up my story so far. :3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Eye of a Flareon

One day there was a flareon called Dusty and her best friend was a leafeon called Izante who secretly liked to make cheese towers. They were in fighting with a big rock with hands and a purple insect!

Then Dusty blowed fire but the rock said "hey thats too hot!" And he ate the flames with his mouth and swallowed it and it went down his throat and into his tummie.

Then Izante runned after the insect and bited her toe and she said "ouch!" The rock wanted to play a game so he played bowling with Dusty she got hurted! So her and Izante unleashed their smell and they won the battle!1!1!!!

Then Dusty felled onto the ground because she was sleepy but then she opened them agin and the rock had rolled up to her AND WAS NOT FAINTED! So she jumped up and the rock said "Tennis court" and Dusty said "but I don't know how to play!" and she was confused but she fight him anyway and give him a kick. Then Izante teh hero came along and threw a tree at the rock and then he fainted because 1000 pound trees are super effective on him!

Then they sat on a fire and Izante cort on fire. Dusty stayed up late because she was a naughty flareon. And then she thought bak to the rock and how she toasted his trainer because he wasnt very nice. cuz the rocks' trainer wanted the rock to jump threw a hoops of flames but rocks dont have legs so it was to hard!

Anyway dusty needed to find a vacuum cleaner so she searched until she came to a lake and then Izante come up and they jumped in. Dusty was a gr8 swimmer BUT THEN ARMARLDO APPEARED AND KIDNAPPED THEM but he tries to show Dusty how dirty the water is but then she cant breeth so she bites him. He becomes sad and he swims away and his tail knocks her over and she falls onto the land.

THen Dusty wakes up and Dusty roasts a pachisitu because Dusty was hungry and then Dusty went to look 4 Izantay but Dusty found Izante BUT after a bush scratched Dusty! Then the bad pokemon launches stones at dusty and Dusty is offendeded and decides to go to slep.

Then Team rocket takes Dusty and Izante and they go into a van with a spikebush and a balloon and a fat blue thing with ears! "Your spiky!" says the fat blue thing with ears to the spikebush, and the spikebush fires a spike at the fat blue thing with ears but ti missed and hitted the balloon and the balloon poppt and made a loud BANG!

Then Dusty turned into a bicicle because someone reading didnt like flareons and so a team rOcket man taked izatne away. he saw the popped baloon and put it on his head like a pritty hat and rode on dusty (becoz she was a bycicle now) tot he ship where she was thrown in and met a bubblysaur!1!! Anyway, the bubblysaur got in trouble for not blowing enuf bubbles and was taked away!

Then Dusty met lots of pokmon like a quilava who must have been a thief because he could lock pick and a raichu who said "BOMBS AWAY" and blew up stuff. He even bloo up some pokeman who then went into the sky and it was like fireworks!

Then Dusty fort in battles and her new friend Zhol said "I'll hulp" and hulped bigly! Then they found a room with lots of pokemons that made anti-sense, and then they went back up onto the ship and ate some people and ploughed through pokemon (and they flied off the ship!.) Then Dusty was alsmost shotted but she had a flashback of Izante fishing with her tail which w as also anti-sense making and she ate the bones!!!!

Then she saved Azure and Azure said "i'm so good and I'm not thanking you" and Dusty yelled "WHATS YOU'RE PROBLEM>" but she ddint get an antser so she turned around with her tail up so that azure could see her b--

"DUSTY HURRY!'

so Dusty went.

A big garchimp with lanky arms and a mean Peanut Throw attack beat up Dusty and Dusty was sad becauz then Luck tried to eat a peanut but he choked and fell threw the ship!

Then she ranned away through the hole in the seethrew wall and was about to go diving, but she didn't have her bathing suit so she ran back but ran into Izante! They bumped heads and Izante said "Ouch" and Dusty was like "OMGITSYOUIZANTEILOVEYOUSOMUCH whose that?"

Then Talon stepped out and did the chicken dance but nobody liked him becuz he was bad at it and then he put on his cape and said "SUPER PERSIAN AWAY!!!" ANd he took Izante around a crate (and on accident he flew INTO the Crate first) and then dissapeerd.

Dusty cried. Just like Stormblade when Thunder wouldnt admit her love.

and then Dusty went back to Zetrik and saw the ROCK!!!!! "GAPS!" said Dusty and she rolled like a log with her arms up and the rock rolled with her but forgot to stop so he fell of the edge!1!! And then she cried AGAIN but this time like when Nightshade lost all his frends.

Then she did a bomb into the water and woke up with Zhol on the shore and had a crazy episode where she thought she found a vampire living in the forrest who sparkled (but it was actually a fairy) and died.

But she didn't die. Zhol broarght her back and they ate a fish and Dusty had a dream about toast! She woke up and couldn't find any butter so she asked Zhol for jam but she wouldnt talk to her!

Then stuff happened like a dude with a pointy nose yelled at them and then Dusty is running down a hill and faceplanted into a tree, but then she siad "Silly me!" and Zhol got angry and said "A SPOON CAN'T PICK UP A STEAK!"

And Dusty looked. And she reelized it was true.

So then she set off on a soul-serching, life changing journey that would alter the course of her life forever in order to seek out what COULD pick up a steak.

The...end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

~GS.
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  #356  
Old 08-07-2010, 05:47 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Okay, I'm FINALLY finishing my reply! Sorry for taking so long! X_x

Quote:
“The ship,” began the scyther, Shard, “is a human transport.” He caught the eyes of many pokémon, including mine, and seemed comfortable with it.
I'm kind of confused about what the last sentence is supposed to mean. o:
Quote:
“Look,” I began, twirling around and leaping into a tree. “Ouch...” With a groan I fell on my butt.
XDDDDDDDDDDD
Quote:
An expression contort with misery and disappointment radiated from my face
Contorted
Quote:
The foliage was plentiful and constantly flew and settled shortly after.
The plentiful foliage was flying? *imagines trees and bushes flying around*
Quote:
As if having forgotten Zhol had walked off with me about five minutes before, the scyther shot understated daggers into my eyes. “Ouch,” I mumbled to myself, surprised with how harsh this pokémon was. He was probably afraid of me, though, so I didn’t blame him.
Not really a typo or anything, but it seemed a little weird she would so quickly guess he was afraid of her...o:
Quote:
“Habib would like to see you,” he continued, keeping his scythes suspended at his waste.
Waist.
Quote:
It knew was my responsibility to reveal the horrible news.
It knew was?
Quote:
I wore embarrassment on my forehead as I passed a sunflora carrying hay and one of the raticate who spoke to me earlier.
XD It sounded like the sunflora was carrying the raticate too!
Quote:
“Stupid...inconvenient...incapacitated...legs!”
Haha! XD
Quote:
he demanded, marching forward several to meet the linoone’s nose.
Marching forward several what?
Quote:
At least twelve or so pokémon frolicked about, throwing things, racing, climbing, blabbering, rolling, digging, swimming, gliding and wearing grins that should by all rights not fit on their faces.
XDDD I LOVE that image! Especially the last bit! That so reminds me of Daykare!
Quote:
Some sat in groups and others sat in pairs of by themselves.
Random 'of'!
Quote:
Wynore would be unchanged forever, and their teddiursa would permanently be fatherless.
Unchanged forever?


Now that that's over, YAY FOR NEW CHAPTER! I'm kinda sad I didn't find out how Shard reacts yet, but that's okay, the chapter was still awesome!

I liked how you wrote Dusty's reaction to Shard's scars. It makes sense, because as a trainer's pokemon, she probably wouldn't see pokemon with serious injuries or scars like that very much. o: I like how she wondered what he had been involved in to get those injuries. I also liked the part where she wondered how he knew what a ship was. She seems pretty suspicious of him, which is understandable, of course! I'm wondering how Shard reacts to other fire types in the village. o.o

Another good description part was the parts where Dusty thought about how she had to tell the others about Luck. It makes a lot of sense and reading it, I can really understand what she feels.

Haha, I liked how she was annoyed with Cupborn. XD And I loved the daykcare part! Even if it was short. I can't wait to see more of the daycare pokemon, especially the heracross. =D I have to admit, I was pretty surprised (in a good way) to see Libbi there...I hadn't realized (or if you told me, I forgot) that River's Vengeance related to this story, which is really cool! But it's also sad to learn that her brother actually did die, and how it affected her...I wonder what part she'll play in the story. I'm glad to finally see Mynk in this story! And she's a linoone now, awesome! (I love linoone...one of my favorite Hoenn pokemon...I have such good memories of playing Ruby. XD) I like how she adopted that larvitar. I wonder what her part in the story will be as well. It's interesting to see all these characters coming together.

The conversation between the bird pokemon was interesting...I'm curious now. An empire of pokemon? o: And haha, evilish togepi. XD That's certainly a change from all the scary looking pokemon being evil! XD I'm curious as to what his story is (and the other pokemon in that scene like the ivysaur and Mr. Mime, too). Also, random, but I really like how you included raticate and rattata in the story (yeah, I know that has nothing to do with what I was just talking about). I love rats! Mine were so happy to see me when I came back. *v* I like that these raticate weren't the stereotypical evil or mean. Also, interesting to see Azure again. I wonder how this will turn out!

I'm excited for the next chapter and I really want to see how it turns out when Dusty has to tell the others about Luck, especially the reactions of Shard and the ursaring/teddiursa family. And I'm bigly curious about the overall plot, too. o: I hope your inspiration stays! =D
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  #357  
Old 08-08-2010, 10:58 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Okay, I'm FINALLY finishing my reply! Sorry for taking so long! X_x

I'm kind of confused about what the last sentence is supposed to mean. o:

XDDDDDDDDDDD

Contorted

The plentiful foliage was flying? *imagines trees and bushes flying around*
xD It's fine.

I think it was that Dusty expected him to be uncomfortable when she was looking at him, but he was fine with it, as if he was keeping a professional appearance in front of the other pokemon. o:

xD

Oh. xD

Oh! I thought foliage was the undergrowth. xD *changes to 'undergrowth'*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Not really a typo or anything, but it seemed a little weird she would so quickly guess he was afraid of her...o:

Waist.

It knew was?

XD It sounded like the sunflora was carrying the raticate too!

Haha! XD

Marching forward several what?

XDDD I LOVE that image! Especially the last bit! That so reminds me of Daykare!

Random 'of'!

Unchanged forever?
Well, it actually wasn't that she guessed at all--it's just that, well, the first thing Dusty would think of when someone a) doesn't like being around her and b) is rude to her and doesn't seem to like her, she would automatically assume that they were scared of her, because she's a 'big bad flareon'! xD So she didn't guess it at all--if it were anyone else, she'd assume the same thing. xD

Oops. I always do that! I have a waste/waist problem! >.<

xDDD Sentence muck up!

xDD Does too! *fixes*

Oops. Several paces. xD

xDDD Thanks! I actually read over that and laughed myself. x)

Oh, the 'of' is supposed to be an 'or'. xD

Yeah...I meant as in, unchanged from her current state, as opposed to it changing back to normal if Luck returned. o:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Now that that's over, YAY FOR NEW CHAPTER! I'm kinda sad I didn't find out how Shard reacts yet, but that's okay, the chapter was still awesome!
Yaaay! 8D Yeah...I had to post-pone that. xD Thank you! I thought it would be a bit boring. Dx

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
I liked how you wrote Dusty's reaction to Shard's scars. It makes sense, because as a trainer's pokemon, she probably wouldn't see pokemon with serious injuries or scars like that very much. o: I like how she wondered what he had been involved in to get those injuries. I also liked the part where she wondered how he knew what a ship was. She seems pretty suspicious of him, which is understandable, of course! I'm wondering how Shard reacts to other fire types in the village. o.o

Another good description part was the parts where Dusty thought about how she had to tell the others about Luck. It makes a lot of sense and reading it, I can really understand what she feels.
Thanks! 8D Yeah, exactly. I don't think it's every day that she'd see those kinds of injuries. Hahaha, yep, if someone doesn't (appear to) like her, then she's in no position to make friends. xDD Well, actually...I don't think there are any other fire types. o: Apart from Libbi.

Why thank you. Yeah... It felt sad writing those parts, and I'd imagine it'd be a hard thing to tell everyone as well.


Dusty: Glad you understand, Scy. :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Haha, I liked how she was annoyed with Cupborn. XD And I loved the daykcare part! Even if it was short. I can't wait to see more of the daycare pokemon, especially the heracross. =D I have to admit, I was pretty surprised (in a good way) to see Libbi there...I hadn't realized (or if you told me, I forgot) that River's Vengeance related to this story, which is really cool! But it's also sad to learn that her brother actually did die, and how it affected her...I wonder what part she'll play in the story. I'm glad to finally see Mynk in this story! And she's a linoone now, awesome! (I love linoone...one of my favorite Hoenn pokemon...I have such good memories of playing Ruby. XD) I like how she adopted that larvitar. I wonder what her part in the story will be as well. It's interesting to see all these characters coming together.
xDDD Yep. I guess she's annoyed since he's smaller than her yet he thinks he can boss her around. xD Did you like the picture? Haha, the background's lame, but the shading and lineart were fun. 8D Hahaha, yeah! 8D They're gonna be included more. xDD Yes! 8D The heracross too. ^^ Yeah. I think I did tell you, or maybe I only mentioned Mynk would be there. o: Yeah... It's pretty sad. Dx Yay! 8D I enjoyed writing about Mynk. I also love linoone, which was partly why I wanted to include her as well. But I planned to, since she was in my one-shot, but I did say on the thread that it had to do with TtEoaF, and you were all excited and everything. xD Yeah! I've always wanted to include a larvitar in one of my stories, and so I decided to add one into the colony! 8D Hehehe, I'm glad you're left wondering and interested! ^v^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
The conversation between the bird pokemon was interesting...I'm curious now. An empire of pokemon? o: And haha, evilish togepi. XD That's certainly a change from all the scary looking pokemon being evil! XD I'm curious as to what his story is (and the other pokemon in that scene like the ivysaur and Mr. Mime, too). Also, random, but I really like how you included raticate and rattata in the story (yeah, I know that has nothing to do with what I was just talking about). I love rats! Mine were so happy to see me when I came back. *v* I like that these raticate weren't the stereotypical evil or mean. Also, interesting to see Azure again. I wonder how this will turn out!

I'm excited for the next chapter and I really want to see how it turns out when Dusty has to tell the others about Luck, especially the reactions of Shard and the ursaring/teddiursa family. And I'm bigly curious about the overall plot, too. o: I hope your inspiration stays! =D
*GAPS* Hehe, yeah. I was hoping that'd make people wonder. xD o: Well, he was a guest star, as well as the Mr. Mime. But yeah! 8D Yeah. :3 Thanks! Did you realise that the ones that were included were Gigin and Hyso--the pokemon who rescued Mynk? o: Haha, cute. xD Misty gets all "I MISSED YOU! ;-;" when I come back from somewhere too. xDD Hehe. Yep! I'll try to get writing!

Yaaay. Yeah... o: Thanks for the bigly detailed and long reply! ^v^ I love to get them, just as you do. xDD Me too! Thanks! Also, I wrote the C/S part for TQfP, but it's rough of course. x)
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  #358  
Old 08-08-2010, 04:45 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

This story is really good so far, and I don't give praise lightly. I'm looking forward to praising and critiquing further chapter.
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  #359  
Old 08-09-2010, 12:18 PM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
xD It's fine.

I think it was that Dusty expected him to be uncomfortable when she was looking at him, but he was fine with it, as if he was keeping a professional appearance in front of the other pokemon. o:
Oh, I see what you mean! It's just that the sentence itself was confusing. ^^;


Quote:
Well, it actually wasn't that she guessed at all--it's just that, well, the first thing Dusty would think of when someone a) doesn't like being around her and b) is rude to her and doesn't seem to like her, she would automatically assume that they were scared of her, because she's a 'big bad flareon'! xD So she didn't guess it at all--if it were anyone else, she'd assume the same thing. xD

Oops. I always do that! I have a waste/waist problem! >.<
Oh, okay, I understand now. XD Yeah, that seems like something she would think!

Well at least it's not as bad as MY problem!

Quote:
Yaaay! 8D Yeah...I had to post-pone that. xD Thank you! I thought it would be a bit boring. Dx

Thanks! 8D Yeah, exactly. I don't think it's every day that she'd see those kinds of injuries. Hahaha, yep, if someone doesn't (appear to) like her, then she's in no position to make friends. xDD Well, actually...I don't think there are any other fire types. o: Apart from Libbi.

Why thank you. Yeah... It felt sad writing those parts, and I'd imagine it'd be a hard thing to tell everyone as well.


Dusty: Glad you understand, Scy. :P
Aww...well I'm excited to see it in the next(?) chapter! It wasn't boring! I liked seeing a bit of the village, and it showed enough to make it interesting, but not too much that it turned out boring.

Yeah, I don't think many trainer pokemon would. I mean, I guess accidents could happen in trainer battles, but I don't think it would be very common. o: Yeah, that makes sense. XD Oh, really? I guess that's a good thing (for Shard) then. And it makes it interesting to see how he reacts to Dusty, not being used to fire types and all (I guess Libbi wouldn't really count, considering she's so young and small).

Yeah.. D: Thanks, Dusty! :D

Quote:
xDDD Yep. I guess she's annoyed since he's smaller than her yet he thinks he can boss her around. xD Did you like the picture? Haha, the background's lame, but the shading and lineart were fun. 8D Hahaha, yeah! 8D They're gonna be included more. xDD Yes! 8D The heracross too. ^^ Yeah. I think I did tell you, or maybe I only mentioned Mynk would be there. o: Yeah... It's pretty sad. Dx Yay! 8D I enjoyed writing about Mynk. I also love linoone, which was partly why I wanted to include her as well. But I planned to, since she was in my one-shot, but I did say on the thread that it had to do with TtEoaF, and you were all excited and everything. xD Yeah! I've always wanted to include a larvitar in one of my stories, and so I decided to add one into the colony! 8D Hehehe, I'm glad you're left wondering and interested! ^v^
Haha, that totally seems like something that would annoy her! And yeah, I do! I commented on it on DA, didn't I? (Which reminds me...I need to read your short story there soon!) Yay! I can't wait! Awesome! Yeah, I remember you telling me Mynk would be in it, I just didn't know that Libbi was. o:


Quote:
*GAPS* Hehe, yeah. I was hoping that'd make people wonder. xD o: Well, he was a guest star, as well as the Mr. Mime. But yeah! 8D Yeah. :3 Thanks! Did you realise that the ones that were included were Gigin and Hyso--the pokemon who rescued Mynk? o: Haha, cute. xD Misty gets all "I MISSED YOU! ;-;" when I come back from somewhere too. xDD Hehe. Yep! I'll try to get writing!

Yaaay. Yeah... o: Thanks for the bigly detailed and long reply! ^v^ I love to get them, just as you do. xDD Me too! Thanks! Also, I wrote the C/S part for TQfP, but it's rough of course. x)
Oh, he was? I remembered the Mr. Mime guest star...it's been a while since I looked at all of the guest stars. XD Oh, really? I didn't even think of that! Makes sense! My cats do too! Now they won't leave me alone! XD

You're welcome! Next time I'm going to try and remember my characters! (I dunno why I forgot...so much stuff happening that I wasn't thinking. DX) Yay! I'm bigly excited!
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  #360  
Old 08-14-2010, 08:46 AM
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Default Re: Through the Eyes of a Flareon ~ [PG]

Quote:
Originally Posted by PokemonJohto View Post
This story is really good so far, and I don't give praise lightly. I'm looking forward to praising and critiquing further chapter.
Oh, thank you! :D Oh, you don't? Well then, I'm glad you find mine entertaining. Any particular comments on chapters, or characters, or anything like that? o:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Oh, I see what you mean! It's just that the sentence itself was confusing. ^^;

Oh, okay, I understand now. XD Yeah, that seems like something she would think!

Well at least it's not as bad as MY problem!

Aww...well I'm excited to see it in the next(?) chapter! It wasn't boring! I liked seeing a bit of the village, and it showed enough to make it interesting, but not too much that it turned out boring.
Haha, yep. Me and my silly sentences.

Yep. xDD Haha, sure is.

xD Well you've gotten over yours!

Yeah. o: Maybe. I'm not sure yet. Dx I think it will be. Oh, well that's good to hear. ^^

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Yeah, I don't think many trainer pokemon would. I mean, I guess accidents could happen in trainer battles, but I don't think it would be very common. o: Yeah, that makes sense. XD Oh, really? I guess that's a good thing (for Shard) then. And it makes it interesting to see how he reacts to Dusty, not being used to fire types and all (I guess Libbi wouldn't really count, considering she's so young and small).

Yeah.. D: Thanks, Dusty! :D
Yeah, exactly. Mm. Unless a pokemon got really angry or something. Dx Yep! Haha, exactly. I didn't intentionally not include any other fire types, but it works out in the end, I guess. xDD And that's what I thought--she's too small to be a threat anyway. Well...Shard wouldn't think so, anyway.


Dusty: Heh, no worries.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scytherwolf View Post
Haha, that totally seems like something that would annoy her! And yeah, I do! I commented on it on DA, didn't I? (Which reminds me...I need to read your short story there soon!) Yay! I can't wait! Awesome! Yeah, I remember you telling me Mynk would be in it, I just didn't know that Libbi was. o:

Oh, he was? I remembered the Mr. Mime guest star...it's been a while since I looked at all of the guest stars. XD Oh, really? I didn't even think of that! Makes sense! My cats do too! Now they won't leave me alone! XD

You're welcome! Next time I'm going to try and remember my characters! (I dunno why I forgot...so much stuff happening that I wasn't thinking. DX) Yay! I'm bigly excited!
xDDD Haha. Um, I think so. :D (xD If you want.) Ahh, I see.

Yep. Yeah, Sam's guest star. xD Yeah. I mean, it's not like you'd go there every so often to see who's a guest star and who's not anyway. x3 I guess it's not that important, but yeah. They all moved in with Habib. xD Yay for cats. xD

8D Haha, okay. Doesn't matter. Yay. If only I had the motivation. -.-
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Last edited by Graceful_Suicune; 08-14-2010 at 12:08 PM.
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