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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #16  
Old 04-08-2009, 06:06 AM
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Finished Chapter 2!

Quote:
Originally Posted by the politoed hunter View Post

“i want you to collect data on every pokemon in sinnoh,” he said, taking out a shiny red oblong, looking extremely hi-tech.

“no,” peter repeated.

“i am a very patient man peter; i could stand here for hours waiting for a good answer. Now listen, collect data on pokemon for me!”

“no,” peter said again, folding his arms in annoyance.

“i am a very patient man peter; i could stand here for hours waiting for a good answer. Now listen, collect data on pokemon for me!”

“oh fine, if it will make you shut up,”

“good answer,” rowan finished, handing peter a pokedex. A pokedex was a hi-tech gadget, used for storing data on any pokemon seen or caught.
Hilarious. Reminds me of Sapphire:

"Would you like to meet my Daugher?"
no.
"Come on, she's a really nice kid."
no.
"Come on, she's a really nice kid."
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  #17  
Old 04-09-2009, 11:03 AM
The Politoed Hunter Offline
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Finished Chapter 2!

Quote:
Originally Posted by gamelord View Post
Hilarious. Reminds me of Sapphire:

"Would you like to meet my Daugher?"
no.
"Come on, she's a really nice kid."
no.
"Come on, she's a really nice kid."
xD. Yeah, wanted to implement that.

I have serious writers block though. =O luckily, I don't have long til chapter 3 is finished, then I just have to proof-read it. I'll get it up today. =O
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  #18  
Old 04-09-2009, 11:26 AM
The Politoed Hunter Offline
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Finished Chapter 2!

Chapter three!

Chapter 3: Delivery Man

Peter had to catch up to the youngster, fast. He sprinted along the green-coloured path, hoping that no-one had heard the youngsters annoying screeches.

“I did not expect this,” Peter said, running closer and closer to another town. However, a few minutes into running, the youngster and a tall girl were standing right before him.

“So, you like stealing from little kids, huh?” the girl mocked, spinning a red and white orb on her index finger.

“Stay out of this lass, I don’t want to make a girl cry,” Peter retaliated, squinting his eyes at the girl. He really didn’t want anyone else to get involved. Especially not a girl.

“I will get revenge for my brother!” she screeched, flinging the red and white ball towards the green pavement. A brown beaver with two very large buck-teeth emerged on the ground. It looked extremely ticked off, gnashing its teeth in annoyance. This Pokemon was called a Bidoof, considered a pest between trainers and travellers alike.

“Heh, time for you to meet real power!” Peter yelled, tossing his red and white sphere towards the matted green path, revealing a small penguin, the colour of the sea, puffing its chest out, trying to look as intimidating as possible. This made the beaver edge away a bit, but was still looking menacing.

<Ready to rock!> Piplup chirped happily, tensing its arms and showing off its ‘guns’, which weren’t that big anyway, but must have been big in Bidoof standards, as it was even more scared than before, if that was possible.

“Bidoof, use tackle!” Lass Natalie yelled, as the beaver thrust itself towards the opponent, jumped into the air and slammed into Piplup. Piplup was sent back a few feet, but got up, ready to fight some more.

“Slap that beavers face so its teeth are back into shape!” Peter commanded. Piplup ran towards the Bidoof, who was a girl, and started to make romantic gestures. The Bidoof was enthralled, and right when it thought the moment was getting good, Piplup slapped it in the face, one of its teeth flying away into the forest. It also gave the Bidoof a black eye and a large purple bump erected from its head. The one toothed, one eyed, one horned Bidoof was extremely ticked off.

<You. Shall. Die!> it screeched, not caring what command came out the trainers mouth. With its singular tooth, it latched onto Piplup’s head, which in turn, started to run around frantically, in an attempt to free itself from Bidoof’s grip.

<Get this tub-o-lard off of me!> it yelled, before deciding to dive towards the ground, head first, which shook the Bidoof off, but also made a cut on Piplup’s head, the blood oozing down its face.

“It’s time,” Peter breathed, clutching another Pokeball in his hand. It glowed an eerie purple, then Peter hurled it at the dazed Bidoof, who was lying on the ground, tired. The ball wobbled, wobbled, and then pinged back open, indicating a capture failure.

“Wasn’t expecting that, damn fatty,” Peter cursed, tossing a nearby rock at the Bidoof. It hit it in the mouth, knocking out the remaining tooth.

<I haattee your massteer!> The Bidoof yelled, growling slightly, but because of the loss of teeth, made a low whistling sound, which Piplup started dancing to.

<I could get used to this!> Piplup said merrily, dancing to Bidoof’s fine tunes.

“Stop fooling around Piplup, burst his bubble and spray some!” Peter said in annoyance, trying to get control of his Pokemon. Sensing his trainer’s annoyance, Piplup stopped dancing and sprayed many bubbles forcefully from its mouth. They popped in Bidoof’s eyes, making them sting badly. The Bidoof now looked truly rabid. It had no teeth, a purple horn on its head and red eyes. If only it could have foam at its mouth.

“Piplup, another bubble!” Peter yelled. This time, Piplup completed the rabid look, the Bidoof now having a flurry of bubbles at its mouth. Sensing now was probably the right time, Peter flung another Pokeball. It hit Bidoof on the nose, sucking it up in an eerie purple aura. The ball wobbled, wobbled, wobbled, and then pinged, indicating a capture success. Peter picked this ball up, and transferred it to the PC at the Pokemon Centre.
Once again, the dumbstruck kids ran.

“THIEF!” they yelled once more, getting closer and closer to the next town. If they spilled the beans to the police, he would have to be a fugitive, and that wasn’t good. He had to stop them, even though Peter had no idea how. Piplup then collapsed, the wound having an obvious impact on Piplup’s health. Peter pulled out the potion that he got for free out of his bag, and sprayed it on the cut. The cut quickly clogged, and Piplup looked healthy again. Peter recalled the penguin, and then continued to run. He ran along the shrubby path until another figure approached him.

“Hey, I heard about a thief, is it you?” the youngster asked.

“No,” Peter said, starting to sweat.

“I think it’s you, but even if it’s not, I want a battle!”

“Well if it is a battle you want, it is a battle you’ll get!” Peter told the youngster. The youngster turned his blue baseball cap back to front, just like how an anime star would. He hurled a Pokeball to the ground, releasing a lion-like Pokemon with a lightning bolt tail. The Shinx leapt in front of Peter, growling in front of him. Peter cursed the Pokemon, sending out his Piplup, who was still recovering from the earlier battle.

<I don’t think I can take much more of this Peter.> Piplup groaned, breathing slightly heavier than normal.

“Hang in there, not much longer till we reach the next town.” Peter told the dazed bird, as he looked up towards the opponent, who had already ordered his Pokemon to attack. It leapt up on all fours, then rammed into the penguin. It was once again, sent flying through the air, but got up once more.

<His attacks are too strong!> Piplup moaned.

“Let’s soften them up a bit then, use Growl!” Peter ordered. Piplup growled in a low tone, and the Shinx seemed somewhat intimidated. The Shinx flung itself at Piplup again, but this time, the attack seemed weaker.

<I think it is working!> Piplup yelled happily. Peter nodded, to show he understood.

“Let’s do it again then!” Peter told the bird. It once again growled, the Shinx backing away even more.

“We can do that too!” Youngster Logan yelled, his Shinx growling also. Piplup looked scared, but regained confidence as a smirk came across Peter’s face.

“Piplup may be scared to get up close to Shinx, but it doesn’t mean it can’t fire a barrage of attacks from far away!” Peter said confidently. Piplup understood this meaning, firing a barrage of bubbles at the Shinx. The bubbles popped, causing stinging when this happened. Peter once more had the stealing sensation run through his bones, throwing another Pokeball at the lion-like Pokemon. The Shinx was sucked up, a purple aura overcoming it, as the ball wobbled three times, pinging to indicate capture. Peter sent it to the Pokemon Centre’s PC where his Bidoof, Starly and now Shinx resided. Logan, as if expecting this, started to run.

“You’re going to get it when I tell the police!” He yelled, almost mockingly. Peter knew he had to catch up to all three kids to stop him going to the slammer. He recalled Piplup, who was doing a victory pose, and started to sprint once more.

“No way am I going to stop them now,” Peter breathed, but was dumbfounded to find a blue dog-like figure with glowing blue eyes and the three individuals suspended in mid-air. The dog like Pokemon, Lucario, looked at Peter, tossing him a light blue ring. It glowed in an eerie blue colour, but then to Peter’s amazement, Lucario began to speak.

“You, human,” Lucario said. “You have made the mistake of letting these other humans know of your snag machine. I have erased their memory now. You no longer have to make the mistake of letting humans know of your talent, as that ring can wipe the weaker minds of humans clean of one set memory. Steal their Pokemon, then wipes their memory of that event clean!”

“Wait, who are you? How do you know who I am?” Peter asked, quite scared that this mere Pokemon knew everything about what he was doing.

“Don’t make the mistake,” it boomed, glowing a light blue aura, and then flashing away from sight. The three trainers stopped levitating in the air, then went about their daily-business as if the event didn’t even happen. Peter tried the ring on his finger, it was a perfect fit. The ring made Peter’s fingers run cold. It had a metallic feel, and was awfully heavy. Scared, he threw the ring into his rucksack and continued to the next town. There was a sign pointing to the town, known as Jubilife City. Many skyscrapers were dotted around the town, making everyone around them look like ants. Just moments after Peter entered Jubilife, Dawn, the girl with the extremely short mini-skirt, appeared out of nowhere.

“Hey, Peter, many people were shouting about a thief earlier, but it all died down for some reason,” she said, pondering about the weird teenager that shouted ‘THIEF!’ but forgot about it in a second of questioning.

“Yeah, there are some sick people out there,” Peter replied, rolling his eyes. He then remembered the package he had to deliver, which was just sitting in his rucksack.

“Hey, you know where Clint is?” Peter asked Dawn. She waved a finger at a big building, with a logo of books resting atop of it.

“The trainer school,” she replied, smiling at Peter. “Where all novices learn.”

“Sounds like Clint to me!” Peter laughed, waving good-bye to Dawn and running towards the Trainer’s school. He got there, and on inspection, the building had odd blue bricks. Ignoring this thought, he entered, and shoved aside the teacher trying to tell him about status moves. Clint was at the blackboard, which was also on the topic of status moves.

“Delivery for Clint?” Peter joked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn't think this chapter was that good, but feel free to rate and review anyway! =D

Last edited by The Politoed Hunter; 04-09-2009 at 03:26 PM.
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  #19  
Old 04-09-2009, 01:44 PM
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Finished Chapter 2!

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Politoed Hunter View Post
Albert picked this ball up, and transferred it to the PC at the Pokemon Centre.
Once again, the dumbstruck kids ran.
Albert? Who's Albert? I think you meant Peter... right?

Quote:
“Well if it is a battle you want, it is a battle you’ll get!” Albert told the youngster.
There he is again!

Quote:
Peter once more had the stealing sensation run through his bones, throwing another Pokemon at the lion-like Pokemon. The Shinx was sucked up, a purple aura overcoming it, as the ball wobbled three times, pinging to indicate capture.
Peter threw a Pokemon at Shinx, and Shinx was sucked inside the Pokemon? That must've been gruesom yet ammusing to see.

Other than those mistakes, there are a few grammatical issues that needs to be adressed. I suggest you proof read this and fix it. Also, just in my opinion, everything happened very fast and sudden. Not that fast isn't good, but there's no tension anywhere, and Ithink the part where Lucario appears could have used some.

Anyway, hope you jam out of the writers block. This is interesting, regardless of my comments.
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  #20  
Old 04-09-2009, 03:25 PM
The Politoed Hunter Offline
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Finished Chapter 2!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pickleboy View Post
Albert? Who's Albert? I think you meant Peter... right?



There he is again!

xD, yeah, Albert is my URPG character, so I tend to use his name accidentally. Fixed.

Peter threw a Pokemon at Shinx, and Shinx was sucked inside the Pokemon? That must've been gruesom yet ammusing to see.

xD Fixed.

Other than those mistakes, there are a few grammatical issues that needs to be adressed. I suggest you proof read this and fix it. Also, just in my opinion, everything happened very fast and sudden. Not that fast isn't good, but there's no tension anywhere, and Ithink the part where Lucario appears could have used some.

I'll do a few more proof reads to get this in order. Sorry about lack of tension, like I said, I didn't like this chapter, how can you have tension when you are just battling novice trainers? Future chapters with exciting characters will not be like this. This was more of a filler chapter, also introducing this mysterious Lucario and a solution to people not squealing about Peter stealing. However, don't think that his police worries are over though. Future chapters will be more exciting, I assure you. The first chapters always are the most boring. =D

Anyway, hope you jam out of the writers block. This is interesting, regardless of my comments.

Thanks, I'll get out of it soon. I am on Spring Break, so I may get the next chapter up next week.
Comments in bold, thanks for the review. =D

Last edited by The Politoed Hunter; 04-09-2009 at 03:27 PM.
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  #21  
Old 05-09-2009, 06:33 PM
The Politoed Hunter Offline
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] Chapter 3 is for me!

=o

Just letting everyone know this isn't dead. I may write the next chapter tommorow, next week, month, year, but this will be revived once again.

So yeah, on hiatus for now.
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  #22  
Old 06-14-2009, 07:27 PM
The Politoed Hunter Offline
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Default Re: The Shatterproof Files: The Thief in Sinnoh [PG/PG:13] On Hiatus!

Woah everybody!

We're back. I'll be continuing this now. <3.

Moving to new thread though. :o

See you there. ;P
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