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Creative Writing Share your fan fiction, stories, poems, essays, editorials, song lyrics, or any other related written work. All written must be your creation. Start a new thread, and keep replying to that thread as you add on more chapters. Anyone can join in at anytime.


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  #1  
Old 05-13-2009, 07:13 PM
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Default Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Fan-Fiction Name: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail
Sites Posted On:fanfiction.net (Giratina), Pokemon Elite 2000 Forums (Giratina)
Reported Sites: None... yet. If you find one, please tell me!
This fic will update every Wednesday.

NOTE:
This is a parody of all of those stories you find on fanfiction.net. You know the ones; bad grammar, incorrect (and not allowed) script format, the author and a bunch of their preferred characters talking comment requests from other people. This was my attempt at something of this nature... BUT. Yes, there's a but. The fic was originally posted on fanfiction.net, and all of the requests have already been filled. This means if you give the Champions a request, the post will be ignored seeing as all of the chapters are already written.


Hello, and welcome to a mystical island somewhere off the coast of Kanto. On this island is a castle; the castle is usually vacant, but doesn't seem to go into disrepair. This is because, for a few months every year, a jaw-dropping array of guests enter the castle where they are forced to spend their off-time when not pummeling people into the ground.

Indeed, the occupants of coveted slots Elite Four and even Champion are stranded on this place with no way out. This is the story of what happens one season, when the Champions go poking around on the Internet, in order to make their days more lively while loitering around. Without further ado, I would like to thank you for reading all of this junk.
Giratina Studios is proud to present...





Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail!
{chapter zero || prologue }

Five people sat in silence around a table. They all seemed to be quite bored, desperately in need of something to do.

A woman with long, platinum-blonde hair spoke up, black Lucario-shaped hair pins bobbing. “What if we pitted our Pokemon…” She was dressed in all black; long coat, shirt, pants, extremely stupid-looking hairpins…

A boy with brown hair put up into Xtreme Anime Spikes cut her off. “No, Cynthia. We did that last season.” He put his hand to his head, thinking of something to pass the time. His shirt was black like hers, but he wore a white fanny-pack and purple pants. There was a black band around his wrist.

It was the League Champions’ off-season. They were always bored out of their wits because whenever it was off-season they were all shoved in the same large palace. It did have video games, television, endless props and other entertainment, and plenty of food and water, but an entire three months of just that did not go over well.

“I have an idea.” A man in a white beret looked up from the floor, sky blue hair bobbing wildly. “What if we made like the annoying people on FFNet and requested that people send us dares for our Elites to do? They’re in this Arceus-forsaken palace too. We could write about it and post it on FFNet somewhere!” His white cape ruffled significantly as the man explained his plan, overjoyed at having something to do for a change, and the white-and-blue formal shirt and purple pants he had on made him look even more show-offish than he already was. Amazing.

Everyone looked at him as if he had just told them they were being let out early.

“Yes! And who knows how much stuff is in this place... we could make them do anything!” Gary smiled.

Steven glanced at his replacement Gym Leader, disgusted. “What a disgusting idea.” He waved a pale hand in the air, with a ring on two of the fingers. He was wearing a sort of black vest, with vertical purple zigzag stripes going down either side. There were gray rings around each arm, and his pants were black. His hair was a smaller, slightly floppy, steel-gray version of Gary’s.

“I think it could work.” Cynthia stood up, letting her black coat whip around her dramatically. “You know how those people love to torture others with these dares!” She turned away from the table they were all sitting at, beaming widely, and swooped over to the computer. Everyone but Steven crowded around the large desk (complete with a giant computer), and finally the gray-haired member of the group got up and followed.

Cynthia typed a few things in, thought a lot, took some suggestions from Wallace and Gary, and pressed a button with the mouse. She sat back triumphantly as the computer monitor brought them to a page on the fanfiction site with a fic entitled “Elite Fail”. Everyone (except Steven, who kept his look of stern disapproval) murmured excitedly. Cynthia scrolled to the very bottom of the page, where there was one note written in bold:

Please, people of FFNet! We need ideas for torturing the Elite Four of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions… we’re going to go nuts from boredom otherwise! Send us the most evil, cruel, heartless, and LOL-inducing ideas you can!

X Cynthia, and everyone else at the Palace of Impending Doom…


Satisfied with their work, the group went to bed.

Unknown to them, a man in a black mask stood outside the door. He heard every word.

(Sorry for shortness - the actual chapters are longer...)
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"Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle."
~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)

Last edited by Giratina; 05-13-2009 at 08:56 PM.
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  #2  
Old 05-13-2009, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Oh boy, I can already tell this is gonna be awesome XD
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Old 05-14-2009, 04:34 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

I apologize for this, but your lack of originality, Giratina, just sucks the life right from me. Do you have any idea how many times mockeries of the Elite Four have been done? Fifteen was my last count on PokeCommunity, and that's not counting my own series of shorts parodying Lance and Steven. And only God knows how many others have been done on other sites! This is exactly why I preach for people to stop following sheep mentality; it's gotten to the point where you've read one fic that focuses on common ideas, you really have read them all...and frankly, a lot of readers are just tired of the mindless character rape.
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Old 05-14-2009, 08:39 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

...So basically, you're sick of people messing with characters' personalities?

I see where you're coming from. I think the only reason that Lance is the way he is is because, to be honest, when I got the original idea for this I hadn't seen him once in the canon media (save for maybe the games a few years ago). If this were any sort of serious story, Apollo, I would probably be agreeing with you on that point; but this is meant to be comedy, and the Rule of Funny applies to some of them. And, to be honest, no. I don't know how many mockeries of the Elite Four have been done - mostly due to the fact that most of those mockeries were probably shipping-fics, which I am not at all a supporter of.

But if it makes you feel better, I'll go over all of the other characters and make them more canon - save for Lance, though. He's just awesome.
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"Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle."
~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)

Last edited by Giratina; 05-14-2009 at 08:47 PM.
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  #5  
Old 05-19-2009, 03:13 AM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Dude! This should be awesome! Can't wait to see what you came up with in the chapters.
Too bad you already wrote out everything on FFnet. I can think of a few people here who would create some awesome stuff. *cough*Grassy!Shell!*cough* Oh, must be something in the air.
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Old 05-19-2009, 07:34 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

I might do the next season or something just for PE2K and post it on FFNet some other time. :/ I OWE YOU GUYS.
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"Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle."
~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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  #7  
Old 05-21-2009, 01:50 AM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Gary opened his eyes, and remembered where he was. It was two in the morning, in the Castle of Comic Torture. His mind soon set itself into motion. Ugh… might as well go check Elite Fail, I doubt anyone else is awake… The boy groggily emerged from his wonderful, amazing, glorious, fantastically comfortable bed that he loved oh so very dearly, and pulled on a t-shirt and some shorts. The young Champion slowly drifted over to the computer on the other side of his bedroom and logged on. His eyes widened with surprise; a user named Vampire Koneko had submitted some good ones.

As he scanned the list, his smile grew wider. Scrawling it on a piece of paper, he got to doing the night jobs. Koneko’s full list was something like this…

Put makeup on the boys (Aaron, Bruno, Sidney, etc.) while they are sleeping and take photos. Then stick them up everywhere in the castle using Duct Tape. Don't let them take off the makeup for 2/3 days at least. Or, you can just use permanent makeup.

Push the girls in the swimming pool (Pheobe, Lorelei, Karen, ) while they are not looking.

Put smiley faces on the boys' underwear. Or replace them with girly ones with fairies.

Rewrite Drake's soap opera tapes (I know he has them.) with baby shows like Tellitubbies or Hi-5. Or Little Pokemon friends.

Change Sidney's clothes to pink, girly ones with fairies.

Gary pulled some permanent makeup from Cynthia’s stock, and set to work. Scampering around the castle, he shook Cynthia and Wallace awake. Drake was in for a different surprise, and Gary figured Steven would need to get in on the action in a different way.

The trio slinked into Steven’s room, being extremely stealthy and ninja-liek.

“Arceus above…” Gary muttered. “This guy doesn’t even take of the stupid rings when he’s asleep?” Cynthia nearly sniggered, but shut her mouth in time so as not to alert Steven (who had the well-known fact that he was a light sleeper at his advantage). The trio snuck up to the sleeping Champion and began to work on his face.

“No, no, that’s blush, it goes like this,” Cynthia pointed out as Wallace attempted to rub blush in his hair, which seemed to lose all spikiness while he was asleep. Gary whipped out a digital camera and had Wallace cover Steven’s eyes while he took a photo.

This continued for a while, as the trio snuck around the castle decking out the various males in rather feminine garb. They were nearly caught by Koga (he was a Johto E4, and was thus invited too), but they dived behind the Japanese screen as he, half-awake, looked around the room and returned to sleep.

So they slipped into Will’s room.. they then realized he wasn't there. “We might need to look out for him,” Wallace noted, “He could be anywhere.” Vowing to be more careful, they exited after doing the rounds of his drawers.

After they had finished doodling eyes on Bruno’s chest, Gary whipped out the list again and crossed the first mission out with a Sharpie.

“We can tape them around tomorrow,” Cynthia said. “Now, for the fairy clothing…” She stepped into the Ubercloset at the end of the main hall, and removed a Butterfree costume.

“It’ll do.” Wallace said as he took down the big boxes containing the male underwear with fairies on them. They ransacked the boys’ rooms again, removing all of Sidney’s clothes and shoving the full-body Butterfree suit in it.

“Now… Lance’s tapes.” Wallace scrambled into the television room, and removed Lance’s soap opera box (which was very, very heavy). He then moved over a few feet, and peeked in a box labeled ‘Sabrinas!!!! Do not touch!!!!!!!’ in messy handwriting. He pulled it down from the top shelf and brought his finds over to Gary and Cynthia, who peered in.

“Who watches Pokemon Puppet Pals?” Cynthia snorted, observing the station names and times. It looked like a schedule for the entire week for some sort of kid’s channel…

“Sabrina’s younger self, I’ll bet. And maybe Janine,” Gary whispered as they ran over to the television. They then got to work re-recording Lance’s soaps, after nearly blowing their cover by laughing. It was 6:50 when they finished – everyone would be up by seven. They flung the ‘new’ tapes back into Lance’s box, repositioned it and Sabrina’s on the shelf, and moved over to the Great Hall, where they prepared the intercom. Cynthia kicked it off...

“Okay, people! Wakeup time! We have something to discuss with you all, so get into your clothes and come down to the Great Hall ASAP!” Thinking this was sufficient, they took their seats.

Little by little, the Elites trickled in. The females came first as usual, blissfully ignorant of the fate of their male counterparts – wait, no. They were giggling in little groups. They saw the boys! As Gary, Wallace, and Cynthia gaped at the few males who had come in earlier, a very angry crowd of men stampeded into the Hall. At the front were Steven and Lance, the latter’s cape billowing dramatically.

Gary and Wallace put on face expressions of shock, but Cynthia burst out laughing. “What happened to you guys? Ahaha!” She nearly suffocated when Sidney came in, sporting the full-body Butterfree suit and looking like he wanted very much to strangle someone. The other girls were all laughing as well, but when Sidney actually threatened to strangle someone they inched away.

“Excuse me, excuse me!” Steven stormed to the front of the Hall and glowered at Gary, Cynthia, and Wallace. “What is the meaning of this? And why are you two and the women the only ones not affected?” Gary cracked a wide grin.

“What? You forgot already?” As Lance swished up behind him, it slowly dawned on them that the guilty party did not think of this at all. Slowly, a look of realization tricked across their faces. Lance was about to say something, but Wallace pushed him aside and stepped up to the podium.

“Attention, Elites, attention! As you have noticed by now, there have been some hijinks around the castle last night…” (“MEW YEAH!” shouted Bruno) “…and we would like to say – Gary, Cynthia, and myself – that it was entirely our doing. It got boring yesterday, so we posted a fic on FFNet hoping to get some ideas to liven up this place and pass the time. It worked.” He smiled widely as a jarring amount of booing reached his ears. Unfazed, he continued.

“We would like to have you know that this behavior will continue until the three-month period is up, and we all return to our respective Regions.”

“And what if,” Flint stepped up, clown-painted face (made even more convincing by his… odd haircut) twisted in anger, “we choose not to put up with it? What then?”

There was temporary silence among the three Champions. “Uhh…” was the resounding noise they all made.

“Hah!” The man crossed his arms, a smug grin on his face. “You have no alternative!”

“Yes we do!” Cynthia blurted out. Realizing what she had said, she thought for a couple of seconds and then continued. “If you don’t go by it, we’ll… we’ll… kick you out of your position as Elite Four member!”

A hush fell over the other %90 of the residents. After a few seconds, the group started murmuring.

“What?”

“Kick us out?”

“This cannot be!”

“That’s cold.”

“My Steelix is stronger than yours.”

“Now, yes, we know you’re all disappointed,” Gary nodded. “So we’ve decided to give you free pool rights for the entire day!” He beamed brightly, and the mood lightened considerably. Everyone ran back to their rooms to change.

As Cynthia and Wallace stared at him, Gary smiled and nodded. “I checked the site while you guys were doing stuff. Some dude named Radioactive X-Naut posted. X says that Aaron should be covered in bug spray, and that Bruno be trapped in a room with a couch, a TV, and KFT. We can use the Television room for that. And there’s also that thing about pushing females in the pool… I found a Kecleon troop hiding out in the indoor gardens who will be nice for that.”

Wallace scrambled to the intercom and shouted, “Bruno! You are wanted in the Television room in half an hour! Everyone else, get to the pool.” He slipped into the kitchen to call the KFT guys, and Gary dragged Cynthia along to find the Kecleon.

After they had found them, they explained. “Alright, you guys,” Gary and Cynthia crouched down so that they were closer to the Kecleon, “we need you guys to push these people into the pool.” Cynthia handed out pictures of all the female Elites. “If you do that, we’ll give you guys some really good food.” The Kecleon chirped happily and invisibly scuttled out to the pool area to push girls around.

“Bug spray time. Go get changed and I’ll deal with Aaron – you keep the Kecleon under control.” Cynthia wagged the can of bug spray and went into her room.

Gary nodded and retreated to his.

They emerged a few minutes later – Gary in a black swimsuit, and Cynthia with a gray one-piece (sans the bobbing Lucario pins). Nodding at each other, they ran outside.

Little red zigzags floated around close to the ground, and female Elites were falling in the large pool at an alarming rate. Laughing, Cynthia took the bug spray and sneakedover to Aaron, who was lying on a floating chair.

“Oh Arceus,” he murmured, “It’s hot out here. I need sunscreen.” Cynthia ripped the label off the bug-spray can, and handed it to him from in the pool.

“Thanks,” said the green-haired boy, not noticing that it was a Champion – and therefore, a mortal enemy – who had given it to him. Spraying it on, he yelped in surprise as Cynthia dove under him. Aaron tried to chase her but shifted his weight too much and toppled into the pool, drenching Bruno. Cynthia exited as Bruno began to scream angrily at Aaron.

Many complaints of crazy Kecleons and one lengthy explanation of the difference between spray-able sunscreen and bug spray from Aaron later, the sun began to set and the party was over. Wallace arrived on the scene as they all exited the changing rooms in their usual clothes. “Did I miss anything?” He asked.

Cynthia shook her head and retreated to her room, and Gary did the same.

Whistling cheerily, Wallace passed Lance in the hall as he retreated to his room for the night.

As sleep fell upon the Castle of Comic Torture, one blood-curdling scream was heard from the Television Room. It woke up nobody, for the door was closed, but it was a truly horrible sound for any who were unfortunate enough to hear it:

“MY SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAPS!!!”

Sorry about the very late post. I haven't had much free time lately, and I'll be in Kansas over the weekend. ERGH.
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"Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle."
~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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  #8  
Old 05-21-2009, 07:01 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

WOOOT!

Awesome! I know I'm just gonna get hooked on this...
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Old 05-26-2009, 11:23 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

This is really cool Giratina.
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Old 05-26-2009, 11:35 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

*applause* I'd give this Ridley's stamp of approval, but he'd blast me *blasted anyways* But you get Kraid's stamp of approval! Can't wait for more, my crazy friend.
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Old 05-27-2009, 12:42 AM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Silver: Thanks! Glad you like it.

MS: BAD RIDLEY! BAD! [sprays RIDLEY with squirt gun] But thanks for the applause and kraid!Approval Stamp. ;D
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"Wigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewigglewiggle."
~ World famous singing sensation, Stefan Gordy.

(For the longest time I was telling myself that I would come back to PE2K once I had something artsy and cool to contribute... but that's too much effort. GIRA IS BACK!)

(vpp da)
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Old 05-27-2009, 12:44 AM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Ridley: -.-' *mutters* stupid humans...

You're welcome. And don't mind him; part of my agreement with him not to destroy everyone outside of the story is that he gets to blast me from time to time.
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Old 05-29-2009, 09:46 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

WARNING: This chapter contains one (1) offensive word. Read at your own risk.


{ chapter two || night watch }

And you thought Cynthia went to bed.

Nope! She checked FFnet again. Vampire Koneko had some more! Deciding she would do these solo, the woman printed out the list of things to do and looked it over.

Now, i'm pretty sure all those psychic people (Sabrina, Will, Lucian .etc) have these really wierd meditating tapes with boring meditating music. Replace it with a rap beat - that will annoy the heck outta 'em.

“Sabrina isn’t even here, but sure.” Cynthia nodded and read on, eager to find out what other insanity Koneko plotted for them.

Now, Candice, Maylene, and Gardenia have these stuffed dolls they go to bed with. Cover them with duct tape and make them look horrendous. That will be funny.


“There’s just elites and us Champions…”

Have a big girl's night out. Let out some 'Ghosts' (Actually, they're just ghost pokemon like Haunter and Dusknoir.


“All right!” Cynthia got up from the computer chair and snatched some duct tape. Oh! I have to put up the pictures too! she thought. Grabbing the now-printed shots of every male E4 member (except Will, and including Lance and Steven), she exited her room quietly and was immediately met by screams of horror.

She dashed worriedly to the origin of the ruckus, but breathed a sigh of relief when she recognized the somehow feminine screaming of Lance. She opened the door, not bothering to look groggy. “What the heck are you up about?” she complained.

Lance looked up at her – he had apparently been… crying? Lance really likes his soaps, apparently. “I… my soaps… they’re all… gone!” He began to cry again.

“Shaddup, you big baby.” Cynthia kicked him in the shin. “They didn’t release box sets for nothing, you know. So hey, do you want to help me get this stuff done?” She handed the printed sheet to Lance, who had stopped crying long enough to notice. He got up and took the paper, making a show of swishing his cape dramatically. Cynthia watched blankly as his face changed from on the brink of crying again to smiling evilly.

“Ghosts and half-decent music. Sounds good to me.” He swished his cape dramatically again, and noticed the bunch of pictures in Cynthia’s other hand. He made to reach for them, but Cynthia divided them up and handed him half of the photos (she made quite sure that the pictures of Steven and Lance were on her part of the pile).

“You’ll do half, I’ll do half. After that, we find all the Grateful Dead music we can find. ‘Kay?” Lance took the photos and smiled at her. He turned around (his cape hit Cynthia in the face) and took some packaging tape from a shelf.

“Let’s get going.” He exited the room and took the left side of the building. Cynthia went in the opposite direction.

They both had the same idea – tape the picture above the subject’s door so that they couldn’t reach it. The two met in the Main Hall half an hour later. Cynthia entered through a side door, and Lance swished down the main staircase, cape billowing and humming a remixed version of Duck Tales’ Moon theme to make himself seem more epic. They were both pictureless.

“Good job,” they said at the same time as they met in the center. Cynthia handed Lance the note, and he grabbed the side of his cape and whipped it in Cynthia’s face as he took the piece of paper. “You plot the girl’s night out, I’ll go nick some Ghost Pokemon.” Lance said. Cynthia handed him an Ultra Ball. “Here’s my Spiritomb, for a start.” He took it (dramatically, of course).

“Alright.” The man removed a Great Ball and a Dusk Ball from his pocket as he ran off, crimson red-colored cape billowing. Cynthia shook her head and prepared the Great Hall. After about an hour and a half, she had finished bedecking the huge room.

It now had multiple tables set up along one row with a variety of food. The majority of the room was filled with insanity of every breed; makeup, punching bags, and even a designated Pokemon battle arena.

Lance re-entered. “I found a couple of Gengar in a deserted room!” He proclaimed, cape billowing around him.

“Good. Now hide somewhere where nobody can see you, and release the Ghosts when I give the signal.” Cynthia nodded to the red-haired man.

“And what’s the signal?”

“I’ll walk up to the podium and declare that somebody should tell a good ghost story. When the ghosts appear in the story, send them out.” Lance nodded and slipped into a corner.

“But do it in a while,” he said, “I have to go swap some CDs first.”

Meanwhile, in the west wing of the castle…

Will strutted to his computer, purple Not-Quite-Xtreme Anime Spiked hair flopping around his masked face. “If they can have their fun, and they’re not even thinking of it... there had better be some dares for our dear sweet Champions.” He slid into the computer chair, and typed in the name of the story: Elite Fail. It came up eventually, and he stared at the reviews.

Some brilliant little creature named Rayshia brought a good one… stick Cynthia and Lance in a closet for a day! Spirits lightened considerably, Will left the room to go meditate. He thumped on the door of his fellow Elite and meditating buddy Lucian, and brought him along too.

When he and Lucian got to the meditation room where they usually did their meditative thing, however, they were met with a red-caped man shuffling in their CDs.

“Lance,” Will said coldly, “may I ask what you’re doing messing with our meditation music?”

“Oh!” Lance whipped around, cape flying everywhere (miraculously not hitting anything). “So that was your music? That you listen to every day? So… it wasn’t a malfunction?”

“No, it was most definitely not a malfunction.” Lucian growled. “Now replace our music before I hit you over the head with a large book I can never seem to finish.”

“Besides, messing with our music is against the rules.” Will pointed smugly to a poster on the back of the wall. In large print, it proclaimed: “THE RULES. DO NOT MESS WITH THE MEDITATIVE MUSIC!”

Lucian stared at him, horrified.

“Will… you just mentioned… oh no, here it comes…” Lucian put his head in his hands as Lance gave a loud roar of triumph. “He’s going to quote… Kaiba…” He recoiled as Lance did, indeed, quote Seto Kaiba:

“SCREW THE RULES, I HAVE DRAGONFORCE!”
The red-haired man roared.

Lucian screamed like a young girl, and leaped to the side to evade a barrage of flying Children’s Trading Cards that came out of nowhere. As Lance continued to laugh, more and more flashy lighting and Children’s Trading Cards flew in every direction. The CD collection was smashed by a Dark Magician, and the various mirrors around the room were all destroyed by Blue-Eye White and Red-Eye Black Dragons.

Will fainted – but only because Lance rammed him down as he leaped out of the room, cheering. He also came quite close to running over Koga, had the man not punched him in the gut in time. Lance recoiled from the blow, and turned in a different direction and set off again (hitting Koga in the face with his cape). As he fell silent again to rejoin Cynthia in the Great Hall, Will made an odd request…



Growling, Will demanded that Lucian name the most boring closet in the castle. Slightly irked, the other purple-haired Elite suggested the cleaning supply closet.

Giggling madly, Will pranced off leaving Lucian to question his sanity and complain that he never got around to meditating. Shrugging, he returned the meditation room to its proper order, collecting the cards to sell on eBay later on. As he pressed the ‘play’ button on the radio, the opening notes of Through the Fire and Flames quickly urged him to turn it off again.

A few seconds after he had turned it off, the intercom sprang to life as Cynthia’s voice blared across the entire castle. “Will all female residents please report to the Grand Hall? I demand partying.”

Almost immediately, the female members of the Elite Troop wandered in to the Great Hall, only to find it was all decorated for a party! Pleased that they would get a break from the insanity in the rest of the castle (Lance was running around screaming like a lunatic, after all), they all flicked off into smaller groups. Cynthia walked down from the intercom system and joined the party as well.

A few hours passed uneventfully. Feeling it was time to spring the trap, Cynthia walked up to the front of the room and tapped on the microphone.

“Elites,” she proclaimed.

“Elites. Elites… ELITES!” This got everyone’s attention. They all whipped their head towards the pale woman on the stage. “Now, as fun as this has been, it’s getting late and you know what that means.”

“Bedtime?” young!Sabrina chirped into the silence.

“Nooope.” Cynthia smiled. “Ghost stories!”

As she expected, Phoebe perked up immediately. “I have a good one! Can I tell it, Cynthia?” She nodded and beckoned for Phoebe to get on stage. “Okay, so there was this old ruin in the Orange Islands…” Cynthia took this opportunity to slip into the darkness where Lance was supposed to be hiding.

“Lance?” She whispered. “Lance, you might want to get ready so-“ But she was cut off by someone pulling on her jacket. Hard.

She tried to scream but found her mouth covered by another person’s hand. It was held there while a rag was tied over her mouth. Thankfully, it was a clean rag; otherwise this would have been much worse an ordeal.

She was then pushed into a closet.

Thinking she was alone, Cynthia tried to sit down; but when a muffled scream broke the silence, she stopped. Quickly pulling the rag off of her face, she whispered, “Who’s there?”

A muffled shout. Reaching downwards, Cynthia felt around until she felt something soft and somewhat pointy; she pulled it and the gagged person screamed louder. Cynthia’s heart skipped a beat, and she abandoned the idea of pulling the rag off in the darkness. Feeling around, she finally found a light switch. As she flicked it on, a sigh of relief sounded from the corner.

Turning around, Cynthia saw a red-haired man in a stupid-looking cape, gagged up and lying down in the corner of the room. His spiked hair had just been pulled by the curious and slightly scared Cynthia.

“Lance?” she muttered. Reaching out, she pulled the rag off of his face. Gasping for air, Lance managed a weak smile.

“Thanks,” he croaked.

“What happened here?” Cynthia asked, worried.

“Well,” he recalled, “I was lurking in the doorway like you said. I heard footsteps and turned around. I didn’t see anyone and figured Phoebe had let her Pokemon out again. So I turned back around, except then this gloved hand reached out and shut my mouth. Another person held me still while the first guy put on this gag, and he shoved me in a closet.”

“Did you see what he looked like?”

“No, but I noticed he had a mask on.”

“A mask on…” Cynthia tried to think of someone in the castle who had a mask on. “I can’t think of anyone.” She shook her head. “The guy must have put a mask on beforehand for this.”

Lance opened his mouth, but Cynthia began to pace and stepped on his foot.

“Hey! That hurt!”

“Oh, sorry…”

SOMEWHERE IN THE ORANGE ARCHEPELAGO…

“Holy- that’s a lot of Children’s Trading Cards this 'Lucian1000' dude is selling! Does eBay even allow that much?!?”

Cookie for whoever got the trading card jokes. ;D Sorry i forgot this on Wednesday!
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  #14  
Old 05-29-2009, 10:33 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

*rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter*

Ridley: I can never grasp the comedy of you humans.

Samus: I'd hate to be them. *laughing as well*
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  #15  
Old 05-29-2009, 10:36 PM
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Default Re: Castle of Comic Torture: Elite Fail

Glad you like it. x3 Did you get the trading card jokes?
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