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Old 06-15-2009, 12:06 AM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Ulterior Motives (Gore) [SWC '09]

This is based off of my favorite video game.

A few terms used may not be commonly known. Their explanations are below.


Parkour, Traceur

Special thanks to:

Cipher Lord, for inspiring me to write this and helping me through the writer’s block stages.

iReign, for being a totally awesome pimpmaster.

Necromancy, who helped me with the title (Fine, I’ll face it. The title was all his idea. BUT I TOLD HIM MY PLOT IDEA SO HE COULD THINK OF A FITTING ONE! So yeah, I guess we collaborated on that part).

And SuperSmashBrawl (Strawberry Maelstrom), who last year inspired me to think of this plot while we were chatting after summer school. I couldn’t have done this without you, and I hope you’re having fun wherever you are.

Ulterior Motives

The Shihab. The desert named for its intense heat. Out here, the common rules of society are nonexistent. People are governed by the rules laid before them by the Merchant Lords. It is killed or be killed. Do as the merchants say, or a hit is placed on you. Out
here, you fight to survive.

There is resistance to these merchants, however. Wanting to liberate the people, the Assassins have ventured throughout the Shihab, gaining power and assassinating the Merchant Lords. As of recent, the Merchant Lords have become wary of the peril of going outside unprotected. They have hired assassins of their own to lay concealed and catch us off guard.

With the recent and mysterious deaths of many of our assassins, our leader has become more wary and is prudent with who he sends out to carry out the deadly deeds. He charges us to infiltrate the city in which our target resides. We then must investigate what he does and where he might be during the assassination.

I am the best of The Assassins. I am the most talented, the most skilled. Abdul-Alim trusts me as he would a son.

He claims that as Servant of the Omniscient, he knows what is best for the world. He is Al Mualim. The Teacher. He knows what is right and we are his servants. We are servants of God.


“No, Husam, you must go to Xamir. Yasser resides in the city, and he contributes his funds to the anti-Assassins movement,” spat the black mantis.

“I…I will do as you command, Master. My only qualm is the high security of his residence. He is one of the richest merchants in the entire Shihab,” I responded, hesitantly.

I was standing on the battlements of Abdul-Alim’s massive castle in Joshen, the city of The Assassins. My master paced back and forth, as if he was nervous. Of course, this was simply a useless observation as he is chosen disciple of Mew. He can’t be nervous.

Blessed by Mew, Abdul-Alim was touched by the mark of the moon. Upon his jet-black reptilian head was a silver crest in the shape of the crescent moon, a sign of the blessed. He was graceful as he moved. It seemed as if all his joints were liquid, as his fluid movements slowly led to more as he paced around me, as would a Sharpedo.

He raised his charcoal-colored scythes at me and screamed, “You never question me, Husam! You may be of Altair, but you will never have authority to question my decisions! You do what I say or I will have you killed on the spot!”

“Yes, Master,” I mumbled quietly.

He had yelled at me. Rarely did Master yell at me. He raised me as he would a son. He treated me like a tender child. However, he always got what he wanted or blood would flow. I assume that hesitancy like I had just displayed would have gotten any other Assassin slaughtered on the spot.

Recently Master has been behaving strangely. As I eyed his elegant obsidian figure, I pondered what could be his recent source of aggression. Usually he was very calm…

Noticing my staring, the ebon Scyther responded, “I am not a fairy, Husam. Look for interest among the concubines, for that is the only place someone like you could find love. Now, go! Leave me.”

I offered a slight nod as I slowly backed away from my master and the back of my knees finally made contact with the castle ramparts. High up as I was, there was a large bale of hay positioned below the precariously perched castle. I kicked off and fell from the high battlements, closing my eyes and taking in the sounds of the wind rushing over my ears and the whistling screech of my blades slashing through the air.

I landed with a muffled thump in the scratchy straw. I tumbled awkwardly out of the bale and observed several small insects skitter away in fear at my sudden appearance. I calmly stood up, reoriented my senses, and walked along the calm riverside.

As I walked, I gazed down into the slow moving water and vainly admired my features. The water rippled slightly and disturbed the clear vision of clawed snow-white plates serving as armor to my feet. The rest of my body was similarly plated in the hard white shell, areas including my hips, pelvis, chest, and shoulders. My head was also covered in such a plate. The joints in between my plates were deep cobalt.

I turned my head away from the river and focused on my slow trip around to the front of the castle where I could inconspicuously walk across the drawbridge. I flailed a bit and fluttered my light, papery wings which were the same color as my plates, but were veined as a leaf by cobalt.

I calmly eyed my scythes to determine if I had retained my equipment. My scythes were very similar to my wings in structure and color, though they were much sturdier and infinitely harder. Unlike common Scyther, my blades were equipped with special metal edges containing a narrow canal of cyanide. If my initial strike wasn’t enough to kill a target, the quick acting toxin would soon finish the job.

I am Altair Husam. My name is Husam, but I come from a family called Altair, named after our ability to withstand extreme gravity during aerial dives. All of the Scyther and Scizor from my family have a characteristic ivory coloring, differing from the common green of Scyther and crimson of Scizor. We developed our white and cobalt scheme to blend in with the sky when searching for our quarry. We are not born with this color, however. As infants, we are dipped in vats of permanent dye which seep into our exoskeleton and stay with us for life.

Scyther from the Altair family are usually employed as bodyguards or mercenaries due to our ability to remain hidden in plain sight, though our characteristic intelligence is no downside.

I slyly clambered out of the tall moat ditch and walked across the mahogany bridge as if I never jumped off the castle side and made my way into the main body of the town.

The residents of Joshen were mainly there from protection of the Merchant Lords. The Lords all knew of The Assassins’ presence in the city and such an invasion could be extremely dangerous. Assassins were spread hodgepodge around the buildings and were indiscernible from civilians.

The buildings of the town were lined in a terraced structure with short-cut grass carpeting the pathways in between. The city originated from the cliff-top castle, slowly making its way down the mountainous city to the base where a small opening resembling the hot gates of Thermopylae comprised the entrance to the enclosed space.

I moved as a Traceur across the buildings of the city, exhibiting my carefully honed skills of Parkour over the ivy-strangled structures. No civilians saw my stealthy journey across the city, which was a good sign. I made my last leap, cheating slightly by the use of my wings, from a rather large three story building to an oak tree. I slid out of the viridian foliage and casually strolled to the granite gates.

“Good luck, Husam,” chanted the guards in unison.

I granted them a thankful nod as I stepped outside of the city walls and into a grassy, narrow valley surrounded by five-story rock walls. Taking a run start, I leaped to the walls, stabbing the rock with my scythes. Using them as climbing picks, I wall jumped from one wall to another until I reached the barren, rocky plateau above.

Taking a running start, I took a swan dive from the top of the rocks back into the city. I quickly unfolded my wings and felt a slight strain as they searched for purchase among the void. They beat like a hummingbird and I began to gain speed. Circling the city once, a white aura began to engulf my entire being. My Quick Attack shot a pure white comet tail behind me as I went mach and shattered the sound barrier, waves of vapor and oxygen exploding around my entry point.

Residents of the city frantically searched the skies, fearing attack from the Merchant Lords but all that could be seen was a slight jet stream surrounded in two places by what looked like a donut-shaped cloud. Several more attention-drawing sonic booms rattled the city before I disappeared over the horizon, rushing toward Xamir.


PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead
Reply With Quote
Old 06-15-2009, 12:41 AM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Re: Ulterior Motives [SWC '09]

I gradually slowed down several horizons away from Xamir so my sonic booms wouldn’t draw unwanted attention. After thirty minutes, I calmly glided down into the seeping viridian foliage of a willow tree besides a small creek.

Stealthily descending, I touched down on the ground to hear what seemed like an ear-splitting crack in the silence. As I gazed down, I was thankful to see it was just a beetle and not a Luxray trap or something of that sort.

There seemed to be a long procession of assorted Pokémon descending the zigzagging hills to the gates of the city, so I inconspicuously joined the line to not draw the ire of the vigilant guards.

I crossed my scythes like an x in front of my body, to appear more as a monk, as my kind were often employed. In front of me in the line was a tan furred monkey with a ball-like torso with skinny limbs who was holding a dark fired-clay pot upon her head. Behind me was a non-threatening, fat, pink, and lazy lizard that seemed to be hot as his tongue lolled out of his mouth and dragged along the grassy ground.

I warily stood on the dying grass-carpeted earth, hoping the Primeape guards wouldn’t see through my ruse. One of the tan monkey balls turned to the other and exchanged a few inaudible words while glancing at me round a bend down the hill.

“Ey, you! WhiteShell! Get ova’ here!” shouted the guard that initiated the conversation.

I muttered a silent curse as I silently stepped over to the guards, acting nervous as anyone else would.

I aligned myself in front of the three Primeape. The two to my left seemed to be having a whispered conversation, their tawny fur shrouding their mouths and preventing me from lip reading.

“Look at me, peasant!” shouted what seemed to be the leader of the contingent.

He slammed his scarlet boxing mitts together as the iron bands around his wrists clanged on his bones. I scouted the situation, looking for any opportunities to escape.

We were located near a small jut from a cliff that fell fifty feet until flat, sparsely foliated ground. We stood within vision of the procession of journeyers, which was a bad sign if I had to resort to killing.

The Primeape snorted through his pig-nose, “Ey, what are you lookin’ for? Maybe we could ‘elp you find it.”

“Nothing, sir. I am just slightly nervous. I am a monk from…” I paused, “Akka. The scribes here needed someone accurate to transcribe some sacred texts.”

The conversing Primeape turned, aware of my hesitation. I silently cursed my forgetting to create an alibi. They surely wouldn’t believe me now. Of course, under the common laws in Xamir, of which I was well acquainted, they could not touch me with violence in mind unless I was proven to be in the wrong.

I briefly saw the lead Primeape’s fur curl, as if he was smiling. Of course, laws are only enforced if someone is around to enforce them.

“How about you come with us, Brother,” giggled the Primeape.

Not so gently, the two subordinate Primeape grasped my shoulders and forcibly dragged me into a small alcove in the gray cliff, obscured from the procession by a sheet of maroon Miltank-hide.

As I was dragged, I noticed that this was where the foul apes took their breaks, the area being littered by food scraps, lanterns, and wooden stump-seats. I also marveled at the convenience of the hide-away to them, and the unbeknownst convenience to me.

The captain walked over to the table and grasped two rusty machetes. He tossed both of them to the guards holding me as they threw me against the wall.

I muttered something under my breath, making sure the guards couldn’t hear. The world seemed to shimmer around me for a brief second, but it soon subsided. The captain seemed to notice. He dropped backwards and his right fist began to glow. He was gathering his focus.

“Brick Break!” cackled the two other guards, sure to stay quiet enough so the procession would not hear.

They brought their machetes down with force, but they passed through the afterimage of my Double Team. Reappearing, I brought my right scythe down upon the leftmost Primeape’s clavicle, instantly killing him with my deadly Slash.

The other guard shuddered in shock as I pushed the corpse off my scythe with my foot, the sickening squelch of flesh threatening discovery. The statuesque ape was too horrified to move as I pirouetted and quartered him diagonally with my practiced X-Scissor.

The captain chuckled as he watched his companions right arm fall off, followed by his left arm, head, and then the thud of his legs hitting the ground.

Scythes stuck in flesh, I had no choice but to take the guard’s hit as he snarled, “Focus Punch.”

The glowing fist collided with my wing, as I was granted enough time during his relatively slow delivery to move to the left. I winced as I felt the pain of my wing being placed on a smith’s anvil; all of the bones shattered.

Content to warn other guards, the captain began to run, but angered as I was for losing a wing, I chased him before he passed the maroon leather, grappled his legs, and threw him back against the limestone cliff wall.

He mumbled inaudible pleas, probably for mercy as I reared back my right scythe and lanced him in between his eyes with a Pursuit. I removed my scythe with the all too common squelch of flesh.

Grimly, I quickly cleaned my blades of brain coils, blood, and muscle fibers on the bovine leather, poured some of their drinking water on them, and then calmly stepped out to the procession.

Some in the procession offered me suspicious glancing as I said, “They forgot their prayers.”

Satisfied by my weak excuse, the Pokémon in the line continued their walking and allowed me into the single file.

After roughly half an hour, I reached the gate of the city. Singular. Gate. That was the problem of assassinations in Xamir. There was only one way out, discounting hopping the battlements.

Quietly stepping under the raised portcullis, I entered the city and could immediately feel the aura of extreme wealth. The buildings of the city were all composed of sandstone colored from a warm palette, consisting of reds, oranges, and yellows. The buildings all ranged in height; however, few if any were less than two stories. Ornate velvet curtains hung from every window sill and detailed stucco adorned every doorway and window.

Underneath this gilt lifestyle, I sensed an oppressed aura of extreme poverty. In corners of buildings and down alleyways, Pokémon lay in ramshackle cardboard hovels and rolled in their mud beds. Theirs was a life of hard work, sweat, and even blood if one was found filching a wealthy Pokémon’s coin sack.

Immediately in front of the entrance there was a shallow pool, about the length of a Gyarados. It was lined by cobalt tile spider webbed with malted-milk wisps. To my right was a large cathedral, smoothed over with vermillion stucco. Five stories up, there was a hollow containing a rustic bronze bell the size of the Lickilicky that processed behind me. Surrounding the walls of the church were many rhododendrons, ranging in color from azure to indigo. Small alcoves on the church wall were adorned with stained glass portraits, depicting the first coming of Mew.

To my left were endless multi-storied buildings, rising in a terraced formation to the west wall. The balconies of the buildings all looked eerily similar; the doorway draped by crimson velvet and fern plants lining the banisters.

I noticed my contact for Xamir sitting on a short stone bench on the northern edge of the decorative pool. I silently trotted over and sat between him and a yellow humanoid with an elephant-like trunk and beige pants. The figure next to me was very plump, but he or she seemed asleep.

I sat on the bench and hunched over, sheltering my head with my scythes as if contemplating a difficult question.

My informant stared straight off into the distance while whispering information, “Yasser is a very wealthy ma-”

“Come, now,” I spat, “You would think Abdul-Alim would have given me the obvious information.”

I offered a glance at the russet dinosaur and marveled at how well he could have shaped the skull to fit his head and shine like it did. I turned my head to his bone club lying on the ground in front of me, when he snapped his two-fingered hand to gain my attention.

“Husam, I am only hear to guide you to the local headquarters. I do not know more about Yasser. You must learn of him yourself.”

“Very well,” I responded to the Cubone, “What would you have me do then?”

“Head to the middle of the city. There is a six story building with no windows or doors. Climb to the top and there will be a hole in the roof. That is where you must go.”

I silently got up and walked away, unaware that behind me, the Drowzee smiled, almost as if it never was sleeping.

Turning into an alley behind the church, I took a running start, aware that every step I took shot daggers of blazing pain through my wing. I ran up a series of boxes like steps, and then leapt, landing on a flag pole. Continuing, I hopped along the series of flag poles for each abode, finally running out of space. I took a concentrated leap, and using my wings, cleared the remaining space to a rooftop roughly four stories above the alleys.

Several nearby buildings were under construction. As a result, small wooden cranes webbed the roof, suspending large boards of oak with rope.

I spotted a Roserade guard two buildings ahead. I could see her viridian cape trails behind her, which led up her bosky frame to her head which cradled two maroon eyes and argentate beard patterns. Her arm bouquets were dangerous weapon, one covered with hot pink petunias and the other with indigo roses.

I realized her rounds would require her to see me, so reluctantly, I deemed her a threat-to-be-killed. I began to sprint, finally catching the Roserade’s attention. She turned and shot spiraling Razor Leafs at me, while I hopped to a suspended board, rocketed in the air and gained speed so quick that I shimmered from the visible spectrum.

I appeared behind her, making sure to make little noise, however she turned quickly, bring up her indigo roses to shield from my inevitable strike. I took a single step forward and stabbed my right scythe through the center of her arm bouquet and then through the grass-type’s chest and out her back. The plant convulsed, then went limp upon my blade. I pulled my scythe free and wiped the blood off on her cape, making sure that my titanium cyanide channels were still functioning.

Realizing the body would eventually be found, I began my flight toward the heart of the city. Arriving there, I discovered that a contingent of poor hovels encircled a single six-story tall building. Stepping back, I took a running start and soared up to the headquarters. I landed with a thud and a tumble upon the mesh wire roof.

I dug my scythes into the wire and swung down to the brick floor of the assassin’s hideout. Around me, the floor was littered with rugs and pillows in all different shades of red. The western wall of the room was occupied by a large fountain which served as a makeshift ladder to the top of the roof, where the east side was occupied by a fountain for bathing. The southern wall was bare, while the northern wall housed a small doorway.

Walking under the lentil, the smell of strong incense hit me like a charging Tauros.

“Greetings and good fortune be unto you, Husam,” chanted another russet dinosaur.

“And may you live well and long, Rafiq,” I responded to the Cubone.

With great effort, Rafiq lifted his hulking bone club onto the yew counter and begin to scrub it clean with a vinegar-soaked rag.

“So what can I help you with?”

“Abdul-Alim tasked me to assassinate Yasser, the merchant lord. Do you know of him?”

“Know of him?” shouted the Lonely Pokémon, “He is the meanest of the mean! He rules this city. If he wants something, he gets it! Ah, but you care if I have any information on him, do you not?”

“You read me like a book, Rafiq.”

“I see. Well, I can tell you quite a lot, I’m sure. However, there is a treasure trove of information to be had from numerous sources. Best of you to…uh…coerce it out of someone if you catch my drift,” he said with a wink.

“I assume you will tell me any remaining information upon my return?” I questioned.

“You are correct. Now is your time to go and investigate. There just so happens to be a window of opportunity later this week.”

“One more thing. My wing was broken in a little scuffle here…” I shuddered as a dagger of pain rushed through my body.

“I have just the thing!”

Rafiq reached under his counter and produced three opalescent baubles. The light passed through them like prisms and shone rainbows across the room.

“These are new tools to the brotherhood. They contain concentrated Blissey Wish. If you place it over a wound, it instantly heals it. You may have these three.”

I nodded in silent gratitude as I placed one over my wing, gasping as a rush of frigid air enveloped my wing. I became restless as I felt the muscle fibers work like yarn and string my bones back together. After what seemed like forever, the wriggling stopped and the orb faded into oblivion.

I placed the remaining two orbs in a small white pouch around my waist, gave Rafiq a nod, and then bounded out of the heavily scented room, elated to be out in the fresh air away from the oppressive scents that were most likely narcotic. I deftly scaled the western wall and hopped upon the roof and surveyed the surrounding area.

Below me was a courtyard with few decorative plants; however, it was very busy with numerous merchant stalls. I noticed several hay bales littered throughout the courtyard. These would provide excellent cover.

Speeding up to sprint, I dove off the building in a swan-dive. I soared through the air effortlessly, basking in the sun’s intense afternoon rays. I flipped into a position as if I was lying on a chaise and plopped into a pile of hay contained in a dark wooden cart.

As I peeked through the dried straw, I cursed. Fast approaching the bale was a curious looking Primeape wielding a crescent-moon pike. He must have seen or heard me land. I would have to take him out.

The tawny monkey ball pulled up to the hay, sniffed around with his pig-nose, and reared back his fifteen foot-long pike, preparing to stab. Fast as light, I bolted out of the bale, wrapped my right scythe around the fighting-type’s shoulders, and with that leverage, pulled his body to my left scythe, which pierced through his forehead as easy as his pike would have done to the straw. I silently chuckled as I stared back at his cold, dead eyes, staring into The Great Beyond. I quickly grasped his body and the pike and withdrew them into the hay.

I smiled coldly as I took a gentle hop out of the hay, making sure no one took notice. There was just something about killing the unsuspecting that made me shudder with mirth. Directly in front of me was a small railed plaza containing a circular fountain. Surrounding the rails of the plaza were four benches. I sat on one of the benches and listened to all the sounds around me. I analyzed every voice I heard, and filtered out two low and gruff voices.

“Yasser is worried that an assassin may be in the city,” said one.

“He is always paranoid. He has the best guards I have ever seen. He is impenetrable,” said the other.

“He is impenetrable, except when he gives those weekly speeches involving how hard he is going to tax us on all of his wares.”

“Of course, I don’t see how an assassin would manage to scale up that building to the balcony without being seen. I mean, his residence is eleven stories tall! The only way to the balcony is the entrance. Where all his guards are.”

“I guess you’re right, though we’re gonna catch hell from ---- when he hears of us letting him die.”

I couldn’t quite discern the name, though it sounded strangely familiar.

“I know, but we should quit talking about it. Um…you know, he has ears everywhere.”


I heard the voices cease to speak. I sat up right and stretched, slightly unnerved at what I had heard.

I spent the rest of the day eavesdropping as I did there and filching numerous documents from unsuspecting civilians pockets. All evidence led to my window of opportunity to kill Yasser being on his balcony during his tax speech in several days. I still had yet to figure out what he looked like, though accounts say he had sharp claws, a snout, a small tail, and was rather tall.

I spent the next few days doing the same activities and investigating while spending my nights in the headquarters. On the day of Yasser’s speech, Rafiq gave me a slip of silk on which I was supposed to wipe Yasser’s blood as proof of death.

I quickly found myself soaring the skies. Today was a good day to fly; there was much cloud cover which camouflaged my alabaster exoskeleton. After three hours of searching I noticed the immense crowd of Pokémon which looked to be every citizen of the city gather in a large courtyard in front of a tall building.

I alighted upon the roof behind the single Primeape guard. I hopped on his back and quickly strangled him, laying the monkey corpse down gently upon the flat roof.

I scaled down to a back balcony and entered a curtained archway. I came into a two tiered gymnasium-sized chamber. The bottom floor was made of goldenrod sandstone bricks and was ringed around by pillars that supported the upper level where I was. Ornate rails separated the second floor from the bottom. I walked along the second floor rail until I faced a closed teak doorway directly across the room and down one floor.

“Well hello, Assassin!”

I started and stared down to the middle of the chamber. There stood two figures side by side. They both had sharp claws, a snout, a small tail, and were rather tall, standing close to six feet each.

The one on the right had the likeness of a cerulean anubis with upright wolf ears. Behind its head ran down two sets of two black braids. He had a black mask running across his blue face and a tan furred stomach. He had three iron spikes, one on his stomach, and the other two on the back of each hand. The Lucario had thin ebony legs and sapphire pants.

The other figure was tawny and stocky. He had long bristles extending from either shoulder and a long snout tipped by a dark button-nose. He had short bear ears and an amber circle on the middle of his chest. The Ursaring had very short and strong limbs that bulged with muscle and housed lengthy gleaming talons. He also had a short bushy ball as a tail.

The Lucario gestured around the room as ten Primeape filtered in, all unarmed but for their fists.

“I am Yasser!” barked the Aura Pokémon, “These brave Pokémon will be the ones to end your life, along with my captain.” He gestured to the Ursaring.

“Today, Yasser, I will end your life.”

“That is highly unlikely, nay, impossible!” he chuckled, turning his back to walk to the closed door, “Excuse me, I have some peasants to reprimand.”

I jumped onto the rail and soared, making a beeline straight toward Yasser with my arms held straight out. My deadly blades were inches from his back when I felt rough and bristly arms grasp my torso.

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 06-21-2009 at 09:36 PM.
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Old 06-15-2009, 12:44 AM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Re: Ulterior Motives [SWC '09]

“Superpower!” roared the Ursaring.

With the force of ten Pokémon, he flung me across the room like a child would with an unwanted toy. I crashed into the brick wall, hearing, and regretfully, feeling three of my ribs snap. As a drunken Spinda, I pried myself from the Scyther-shaped hole in the wall and offered the Hibernator Pokémon a look-to-kill.

I hefted my metal-edged scythes and held them as an x across my torso. I charged at the Ursaring while he held his arms towards me. A green and yellow translucent speckled barrier formed in front of him. I leaned to the side and disappeared, reappearing around his back. He gasped, surprised that I had used my Feint to avoid his Protect.

I brought my X-Scissor down upon him. He mumbled something inaudibly then held out his hands, as if that would stop anything. My blades came down upon his arms, but clanged as if on steel when they made contact with his bristled limbs.

He reared back a right fist and said nonchalantly, “Metal Claw.”

The Ursaring’s fist gleamed like polished iron. He reared it back, then shot it forward, his callused knuckles intent on having a serious conversation with my face.

I calmly side stepped, the bear’s momentum carrying his girth over my bent shoulders. I pirouetted as a Kirlia and brought both my scythes down, hamstringing the guard. He shuddered as clear toxin bubbled out of the gash and heard the strings of his muscles unwind and snap.

I turned to the remaining guards, failing to notice that one of my Blissey Wish trinkets tumbled out of its pouch and rolled next to the Ursaring.

I beamed at the chance to slaughter ten who had no idea what was in store for them. One of the Primeape on the right side of the chamber sneezed. In a flash, I dashed to him and stomped on his patella, snapping his knee joint. As I stood over him, I stared back at his frightened eyes and chuckled with insane joy as I lopped off his upper body (which would have been his head); all of this in a single fluid motion.

I stamped my feet in the flowing lumbar fluid and splashed it around with his blood, waiting for another monkey to make a regretful move.

The nine remaining Primeape seemed to have some sort of understanding, and they all advanced toward me at equal distances. I realized there was only one course of action, so I knelt down and began to chant.

The primates looked at each other nervously, and then enclosed me in circle.

Just as they began to lean forward to strike, I bolted up right and shouted, “Razor Wind!”

My wings beat as a hummingbird, so fast that they were invisible. The wind that filled the room was sown with small slices of energy that buzzed about with a mind of their own. If they made contact with an ape, it opened a dripping gash on their furred torsos. The wind pushed them into the walls around me.

I leaned back and winced, a stabbing pain pulsing through my torso. I wouldn’t be allocated time to worry about my personal condition in this fight, however, so I raised my scythes in front of me, again waiting for one of the warriors to lower their guard.

Behind me, I heard the sound of a sword being drawn out of a sheath, but not exactly. It sounded more…icy.

I whirled around to see a Primeape lunging out me with a crimson boxing glove encased in frozen water. I effortlessly raised my scythes and slashed off his Ice Punch fist, the ice block clunking to the floor.

I sensed danger, but turned too late. As soon as I turned my head, a fist encased in roiling flames was waiting for me. I braced for the hit as the fighting-type’s fist smashed into my cheekbone, the intense fire burning my exoskeleton.

I gagged as the stench of burning flesh reached my nostrils, and then gasped in shock as a dagger of pain revealed that it was me who was burning.

The pain fueled my anger and lust to end this fight. With a wave of my right blade, I shot a thin diagonal blade of sky blue energy at the Primeape who had Fire Punched me. The Air Slash dissected him diagonally, and the top half of his ball body slid off onto the ground, before being crushed by his legs. Blood flowed like a river across the chamber floor.

A Primeape whose friend I had probably just mutilated charged at me, angered. I easily dispatched of him in an extremely bloody manner.

I slaughtered four more Primeape leaving three left. They stood, panting with their blood spattered ecru coats. I faced them, panting. My burned cheek was taking a toll, the putrid smoke from my burned exoskeleton making my eyes water.

I hovered into the air on my wings and turned while slashing one of the upper tier support pillars. I continued to turn, kicking the chunk of sandstone at one of the brown monkeys. It shot through the air like a Hydro Pump from a Kingdra and it crashed into the forehead of the leftmost Primeape. The sound of his shattering skull resonated throughout the chamber as he plopped on the ground, dead, his severed vitreous eye rolling on the ground like a child’s ball.

One of the Primeape’s eyes began to glow indigo and he dripped sweat.

He lunged at me, but I swerved to the side, dodging the assault. Using my left scythe, I lifted him into the air, and plunged him downwards. The air parted in a crowd of invisible spectators as the perfectly fragmented support column pierced his pelvis. I offered an evil smirk as I heard the point plow through his flesh and snap his bones as toothpicks, and then cringed as the stone point burst out of his mouth in a spectacular spray of mucous tissue and blood. His shattered teeth tinkled onto the sandstone floor and sounded as a cascade of acorns against the hood of a rusted jalopy while thick crimson blood oozed out of his mouth and hindquarters. I began to clinch up in a fit of malevolent laughter as he flailed his limbs wildly like a beheaded chicken. His flailing began to slow as well as his fits of coughing blood, which finally ceased (along with my laughter). His limbs fell limp to his sides and his eyes clouded over with the mist of death.

I swiveled around to see the remaining Primeape panting vigorously, sweat sloughing off his body like the torrents of a waterfall. His eyes began to pulsate like a strobe light with a luminescent indigo hue and his tawny fur changed colors to a dull orange and began to rise as if he was standing in a zero gravity zone. Along with his hair, particles of dirt, stones, and assorted rubble also began to rise, forming a dusty corona around his rage-ridden, throbbing, muscular body.

I stammered, “What in Darkrai’s name is wrong with you!?”

He chuckled, spreading icy fear through my veins, “Heh, you won’t reach Yasser. Outrage.”

His fists and feet were engulfed in boiling indigo, violet, and white flames. He took steps toward me extremely slowly, his dusty halo following him. Every time he lifted a foot to take a step, his footprints were filled with violet fire. As he neared me, I wriggled in discomfort as I felt the malevolent and freezing cold aura that emanated from his round body.

I stared into his eyes, and found that I was quivering in fear. I tried to run, but it was as if he had the powers of a Gorgon, petrifying me in place. He reared back his fist and punched me in the face. I felt an incredible searing pain spider web across my burning cheek, which probably meant my skull had cracked.

He spun like a Starmie and slammed his foot into my side, the purple fire searing into my hide. I whimpered like a Poochyena as he rained burning blows on my person for what seemed like minutes. Eventually, he seemed to become dizzy and tired, but he continued the onslaught.

As he bullied me across the rubble strewn floor, I noticed that he was working me over to the pillar where I had impaled the Primeape.

I felt a weight leave my waist as I was worked to the area. I opened my eyes and noticed that a large chunk of goldenrod sandstone lay in front of me.

“Bite it!” shouted the Primeape.

I sudden realized that he intended to curb stomp me, snapping my jaw in two. I realized there was nothing I could do as he reached down and placed my teeth around the block.

I felt a small marble like object plunk against my right scythe. The Primeape raised his foot above my head as vitalizing energy flowed into my body like the torrents of a river over a dam. All of the wounds in my body sealed up as if an invisible master seamstress had sewed them back together, and I hungered for blood.

Just in time, I whipped around and placed my scythe in between my head and his foot. His purple fire-covered foot parted over my blade like a hot knife through butter. The Primeape howled in pain at his severed foot and the violet fire subsided.

I bolted upright, revitalized by the Blissey Wish orb. Before the Primeape could move, I hamstringed him deftly, rendering him immobile. As he knelt there pleading for mercy, I clasped his head and began to push back. I felt the springing resistance displayed by his spine, but it was no match for my strength. I continued to push down. As he was kneeling, he stared up at me and a cold rush of panic washed over him as he realized my intentions. He started to scream, horrified. I exerted one final push, and the sound of his snapping spine echoed like a gunshot throughout the chamber as I tucked his head in between his kneeling legs.

I turned to survey my artistry, strokes of crimson blood brushed into every crevice of the floor. Brown furry bodies littered the ground. I counted ten, startled that I had only killed that many. It had felt like more.

I dismissed it and rushed to the door to assassinate my target. I stopped in front of the wooden panel, out of place amongst the sandstone walls. My body began to tremor as excitement and adrenaline coursed through my veins. I quietly opened the door, making sure that it made no noise while marveling at how well oiled the hinges were.

Before me was an ornate balcony, about the size of a Snorlax. Yasser stood before me, chanting his propaganda to some 80,000 citizens.

“The shipment of meat arrived yesterday; it contains enough to feed you all for many months! However, due to recent happenings in the land that may compromise the safety of the city, I will be forced to place a twenty-seven percent tax on all meat purchases.”

I crouched behind him, waiting for his speech to finish, and finally, after ten minutes, he was done with his pointless rambling. He stood and observed the peasants, than abruptly turned around.

I took this moment and ran him straight through the chest, his heart leaving the confines of his thoracic cavity and resting on the tip of my scythe, pierced. I pulled him closer and shoved my blade into his chest so that my elbow was nearly inside him. The crowd below went eerily silent as the saw my alabaster blade protrude from Yasser’s back, stained in scarlet cruor.

I gently lowered him to the ground as he chuckled, “You got me, assassin.”

“Do not waste your energy on explaining yourself. You will fall to Darkrai and will spend eternity with him,” I responded.

“Things are not as they seem,” spat Yasser.

He continued to talk, but went into a hysterical coughing fit, spraying blood onto my face. I stared back into his eyes which were beginning to glaze over.

Someone in the crowd below gasped.

Another bellowed, “Is he dead?”

And finally, yet another ululated, “We’re free!”

All hell broke loose as 80,000 Pokémon sprinted like mad Tauros across the streets, trampling guards and trashing merchant stalls.

I heard a Roserade guard from a building across the plaza, “Assassin! Get him!”

I stared back to Yasser and everything made sense. I sprinted back into the chamber where the ten Primeape lay and began counting bodies. I reached to the pouch at my side, dismayed that there were no trinkets left. I had only used two… the Ursaring! The Lucario was not my target, the damn bear was! His body was missing and so was one of my Blissey Wish baubles. He must have escaped while I was wrecking those Primeape.

As if on instinct, I immediately turned around and bolted out the door, diving off the balcony. I dove head first, plummeting straight down for ten stories before I pulled up and shot forward, bordering Mach speeds above the pandemonium of the crowd.

As I soared high above the city, the long range Roserade guards lost sight of me, my exoskeleton presenting me with excellent camouflage against the few, wispy clouds.

Then I noticed how unnaturally hot it was outside. The clouds were fast receding beyond the horizon and the sun seemed to pulse as a heart, each beat shooting a wave of heat across the city.

I casually glanced to a building below me, and in the split second I had to look before I zoomed out of sight, I spotted a circle of five Roserade. They swayed like mad Spinda and chanted vigorously. I recognized that technique as Sunny Day.

I lowered my altitude to about ten feet, below the roofs of buildings. By now I was on the far outskirts of the city, but still within the walls. I was far ahead of the rioting mob and so the streets were deserted but for the faint pounding I heard. Initially I believed it to be my heart, but the pounding was irregular. It sounded more like footsteps…

I turned the corner and several blocks down the alleyway, I saw a sprinting Ursaring.

“Yasser! I thirst for your blood!”

The Hibernation Pokémon frantically turned around. As he saw me, his eyes widened to the size of large rocks. He turned to sprint and tripped over his own feet.

I alighted on the roof of a nearby building and hopped roofs until I was over him. He had finally gotten up and began to run when fell onto him like a Wolverine. I was there, kneeling on his spine and resisting the urge to immediately kill him.

I stood up to allow him to stand and asked, “Why are you so corrupt?”

“You are so blunt, Assassin. If you must know so, I did it for the greater good. Your organization is the corrupt one.”

Angered, I slapped him with the flat of my scythe and charged him against the russet wall of the pueblo. I jammed my elbow up against his neck and exerted, intent on crushing his trachea.

“Assassin, Al Mualim has brainwashed you. You really have no idea what’s going on, do you? I am funding a movement to prevent your master from getting his hands on the-”

“Shut up!” I cried, tired of hearing this blasphemy, “Abdul-Alim is a better man than any of you Merchant Lords. His intentions are just, unlike your slave driving.”

“I guess you will die ignorant, Assassin.”

I stood there, motionless, staring into the Ursaring’s eyes, attempting to decipher his intentions. There was reason in his voice. Maybe he was right. I let up my elbow and allowed him to walk.

“You made the right choice, Assassin. Maybe you aren’t so brainwashed.”

As I saw him walk away, I was overcome by a wave of insatiable malice. I am an Assassin. I am loyal. Abdul-Alim is God. I made the wrong choice. But there are always second chances…

Yasser had dumbly made the choice to turn his back on me. No one but Abdul-Alim had ever turned his back to me and lived, and I didn’t intend to rewrite the record now.

I crept up behind him and reared back both of my scythes, clicking them together and holding them as a single blade. I plunged them through his abdomen, muscle fibers tearing out of his stomach. He dumbly stared down at the two white blades jutting out of his middle, his stomach penetrated by my blades.

I shouted at the top of my lungs and hefted him above my head. I began to wriggle my blades around, crunching his spine with my scissor-like movements. Blood ran down my arms like fresh morning dew, but I reveled in the moment as his paining whimpers occupied the ominous silence of the alley. I bent my arms, compressing my corded muscles like springs to prepare them for my next move.

“Goodbye, Yasser…”

In one quick movement, I pulled my scythes out of his middle, slicing him in half vertically. The sound of his bristling tan hide tearing rent the pure air, spraying blood and hair into the sky, the rest coagulating with the dust under my feet to form a puddle of garnet liquid with a milkshake texture. Bones, organs, and assorted chunks of gore poured out of his body and stained the dirt ground while I touched my tongue to my lips, savoring the scarlet nectar of my labor. I was spattered with flesh, but didn’t care, for in my shower of gore, everything felt right in the world.

I lowered my stained blades down to my sides and stared glumly at the two halves of the Ursaring. The two halves of his face lay frozen forever in the twisted expression of inexplicable horror and abominable agony. His ivory fangs lay scattered across the street, revealing the two halves of his soft upper palate flapping like cotton curtains in the wind. The bear arms of my target lay paralyzed by his side, for they were immobilized when I clipped his spine.

Disgusted at how easy a kill he was, I trotted up to the left half of his face and placed my foot over his half snout. His head was shattered into innumerable and infinitesimal pieces as I put all of my weight onto my leg. His skull fragments and cerebrum strands were ground into the dirt as I twisted my foot, angered.

However, I didn’t have much time to desecrate his disfigured corpse, as I began to hear the voices of guards. Then I noticed how hot it was. A relatively small contingent of four Primeape sprinted around the corner. Their mouths dropped in unison, aghast at the state of the Merchant Lord’s body.

“A-a-assassin! D-don’t let him leave the city in one piece!” one shouted, visibly shaken.

I quickly dashed a small strand of silk into the ground, making sure it got stained by Yasser’s blood, and then bounded to the roof of a nearby building. In the distance, I saw a veritable army of Roserade hopping from roof to roof.

I gritted my teeth, “Quick Attack.”

My feet pulsed with white sparks and then I shot into the air just below Mach leaving a comet tail of white fire in my path. Roserade guards gawked at my speed, but I soon realized that I was in trouble as enormous Voltorb sized balls of bright flame began to bellow from their bouquet cannons into the sky.

“Weather Ball…” I muttered.

I heard an almost inaudible screech, followed by an earsplitting explosion as a helix beam of viridian and yellow shot off of a nearby roof, the Roserade’s Solarbeam nearly hitting me, if not for my well timed bank to the side. However, this bank was not necessarily evasion from harm, as the beam had also popped my eardrums. Just as I turned to the side, a roiling ball of fire almost as big as me exploded into my side, charring black my entire left side.

The strong hit weakened me sufficiently enough that I lost the white Quick Attack aura and I began to decelerate quickly. I was forced to Endure several more Weather Balls as my slow speed made me an easier target, but as I began to blackout, the ramparts came into sight.

I struggled to regain speed as my altitude rapidly decreased, putting me on pace to crash into the numerous Roserade stationed on the walls. White sparks of a failed Quick Attack flashed at my feet and I turned to my last resort.

“Silver Wind!”

A gust blew out from behind me, carrying on it strange silver sparkling spores. The wind blinded the Roserade and my strength seemed to increase. The sparks at my feet began to increase in frequency and began to hold as small trails.

I was now several seconds away from collision. If I could not manage to use my Quick Attack, I would be executed in this city.

“Come on!” I screamed.

A white tail of energy shot from my feet and began to flicker…

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 06-15-2009 at 12:48 AM.
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Old 06-15-2009, 12:49 AM
Black Hawk's Avatar
Black Hawk Offline
Elite Trainer (Level 2)
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bibarel?
Posts: 2,058
Default Re: Ulterior Motives [SWC '09]

Target: Scyther
Difficulty Level: Complex
Characters needed: 30,000-40,000
Characters currently: 46,582
Status: Ready for Grade

PiEaNdChIpS678 (10:48:49 PM): I found one
Mikey94028 (10:49:14 PM): is that
Mikey94028 (10:49:17 PM): who I think it is
husnainisme (10:49:25 PM): wailord
Mikey94028 (10:49:29 PM): o
Mikey94028 (10:49:34 PM): I thought it was dead

Last edited by Black Hawk; 06-21-2009 at 10:04 PM.
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Old 06-29-2009, 06:12 AM
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Draconic_Espeon Offline
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Default Re: Ulterior Motives [SWC '09]

Plot: You start off with a Scyther who is a part of a group of elite assassins who are bent on killing all of the crooked Merchant Lords that enslave the people of their world. That in and of itself is pretty creative, in my opinion. I haven’t seen any other stories quite like it. I liked how you set it in a Middle Eastern setting, giving the story its own particular flavor as a result. Even so, you went further to add a little bit of intrigue to it—it sounds as if the leader of the Assassins may not be so good at all. Before we can find out, though, our main character kills the only person who could tell him. It’s a nice twist, though I had guessed it might be something to that effect. Regardless, you did a very good job putting all this together, and I hope that you keep on coming up with interesting plots like this. This is the kind of story I really like seeing. =3 You left the ending fairly open ended, too, so I’m going to take a guess that you’re going to continue this.

Introduction: You did a good job of this as well. You incorporated your character’s appearance into actions by looking at the water, which was a good idea, since you were using first person. You also gave us a brief history of your character, just enough to give us an idea as to why he might be so loyal to Abdul-Alim, as well as his strange coloring. The little introduction you gave us was nice as well, quickly telling us what we needed to know about what was coming without having to pause in the middle of the story and tell us all this, or try to convey it all through dialogue. It was also a nice hook, getting the readers to wonder where all you were going to go with this. A good job on this section as well.

Grammar/Spelling: I really didn’t find anything really big wrong with this, just one reoccurring error.

“Superpower!” roared the Ursaring.
Here, the R on ‘roared’ should be capitalized. After quotations, if it ends with anything but a comma, you treat the next part like a regular sentence and capitalize the beginning.

Aside from that, I don’t think I really noticed anything else. Good job!

Length: Well, at 6k over the max, I think you’re doing a pretty good job here.

Detail/Description: Quite a lot of blood and gore in here, huh? You really didn’t leave much out in that department. You described everything, from where your character killed them, to what he was cutting through, to what was left on his scythes. I like how thorough you were, and honestly, the gore doesn’t bother me much. However, it does bother other people, so in a story with this much in it, I would suggest putting a rating of about PG17, and even adding ‘for gore’, in the title. Just to warn off the occasional reader who might not want to read something like this.

Overall, your descriptions were pretty short and to the point. You used a variety of words, most of the time, and kept it from getting too monotonous. You also used a lot of similes and metaphors, which are always fun to see. One in particular, though, caught my eye.

His shattered teeth tinkled onto the sandstone floor and sounded as a cascade of acorns against the hood of a rusted jalopy
My only problem with this is really more something I had kind of assumed, but I’ll bring it up anyway. What with there being castles and blade weapons used rather than guns and technologically advanced fortresses, I had guessed that this took place in a time period where there probably weren’t cars. If this had been third person, it probably would have been okay, but since it’s first, you’re implying that your character knows about cars enough that they could compare shattered teeth hitting the floor to acorns hitting the top of one. I’m not really sure how that could be possible, if they didn’t exist at the time. I could be wrong though, and even if I am, I wanted to point this out.

Aside from that, it all looked good to me.

Battle: To be honest, I’m having a difficult time trying to figure out where exactly the battle could be considered to begin. There are lots of fights in this story, and all are very realistic for simple Pokémon battles. After all, we’ve got Pokémon dying here, rather horribly most of the time. Still, you did a very good job with it. You described all your attacks, like the sonic booming of your Quick Attack, and although they caused a lot of death and destruction, it made sense that they would. You varied your attacks as well, and I’m not even sure that you used the same one more than once. If you did, I’d honestly be surprised. You even incorporated the setting, with spearing one of your Primeapes with stone. You made it seem for most of the story as though your character really didn’t have much chance of losing, though, which was why I liked how they came really close there towards the end of the fighting the Primeape, and then how he was knocked out of the sky while fleeing. These helped make the battle more two sided, and less like your character is just that awesome that he can kill tons of enemies at once.

However, there was one part in particular I was curious about. How could you kill someone by slicing their clavicle?

Outcome: Well! The part you’ve been waiting for, no doubt. There really wasn’t a whole lot of deciding on my part. Scyther Captured! You obviously put a lot of effort and time into the story, and it really shows. You did a very good job on it. Good luck in the SWC!

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