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Stories Write a story to catch Pokemon. A Grader will then decide if it catches or not.

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Old 06-18-2009, 12:25 PM
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Default The Toxic Lake (Finished!) (NWC!)

(Note: this isn’t English the Magikarp are speaking.)


“We’ve got to escape this filthy water,” shrieked a reddish-orange fish hitting a soda can with her tail.

“Maria, you know as much as I do this is a pond,” came a voice from a male fish. “Those stupid humans have polluted the pond, and we are going to die.” That’s life Maria. Since this is a pond there is no connection to any other bodies of water. All of the other Magikarp are dead! We must survive!”

“Oh Tom,” Maria muttered moving toward the handsome red fish.

“There must be at least one good human out there,” Maria murmured. “At least one…..”

Chapter One: The One Good Human

What Maria the Magikarp has told you in the Prologue is true. There was a good man out there. His name was Ronald Emge. He is a seventeen year old Pokémon Ranger with an orange vest, a pair of blue jeans, big black boots, and yellow puffy socks.

Ron as called by his friends did many daring missions for saving Pokémon. An Octillery had once lost one of its eight tentacles, and Ron looked after it until it was grown back to full health. Ron also once saved an Entei from Team Rocket with a broken arm.

But Ron was not always a Ranger. He used to be a Pokémon Trainer from age ten to thirteen. Then he decided to retire, and become a Ranger. So he still had the right as any Pokémon Trainer to catch a wild Pokémon.

Chapter Two: Ron Discovers the Pond

“So what’s your mission,” cried a leader of a ranger base. “To help an Oddish get out of the mud sir,” yelled back a seventeen year old ranger with yellow socks. “Well get to it,” the leader yelled back with tons of energy in his voice.

So with that Ron hoped on his motorcycle, and drove off to where the Oddish was stuck.

A few minutes later, Ron had gotten to the Oddish, and started to tug without hurting it. “Odd-odd,” it squeaked. “Don’t worry little fellow,” said Ron in a motherly voice. Then with one great pull the Oddish was free. The Oddish nodded, and hoped away.

“Mission accomplished,” said Ron taking a deep breath. That’s when he smelled something really foul. “Is that Toxic?” Ron asked himself. Ron pushed away some of the bushes that were near by. That’s when he saw it. The pond looked like the water was green not blue. That’s when he remembered the pond. It used to be an old Magikarp fishing pond because there were not enough carp left, they community decided to turn it into a dumping place for bad liquid like oil, toxic, and loads of other stuff. They decided on this not more then a month ago. “I know there must be at least one Magikarp down there,” Ron muttered to himself. “And I’m going to save them!”

Chapter Four: And now there is one….

“Tom don’t tell me you’re dying,” wailed Maria. “Well, Maria my time has come. I wish you the best of luck in life. You’ll be the only fish in the lake where we have loved for generations…” And with that Tom the Magikarp had died. “TOM NO!” Maria wailed. Now the whole lake was wiped out except for one remaining fish.

Chapter Five: Ron to the Rescue

Immediately after Ron had glanced upon the lake he had pulled out his cell phone to tell the base what the matter was. Ron said he could handle it by himself. The other Rangers didn’t argue.

He then took out a tool called a Poke Radar. It is used to locate specific Pokemon, or Pokemon at all. He hit the little green button, and it began to make a buzzing sound. Then it beeped to the Northern edge of the pond. (Ron was at the Southern edge.) It was a ten mile hike.

Ron sprinted back all the way to his motorcycle. He jumped on it, but it wouldn’t move one bit. It was stuck in the mud the Oddish was stuck in. “Come on you stupid thing,” he cursed under his breath. Yet it would not move.

Furious with his motorcycle, started to sprint toward the Northern edge. Disease spread very quickly, and for all he knew that Magikarp could be dead.

Chapter Six: Maria’s Infected!

Maria coughed making a huge bubble, and laid down on a sunken rock. She had caught the unknown disease which had wiped out her whole school of Magikarp that had lived there for generations.

“It’s only a matter of time until I die to,” muttered Maria to herself.

But that wasn’t one hundred percent true. Ron was coming.

Chapter Seven: Is Ron Truly the Hero?

After about ten minutes into the nonstop running Ron heard something behind him. It was his new friend the rescued Oddish! The Oddish had also brought along a friend. A Hoppip to be exact. “Hi guys,” Ron said while panting. His new Grass friends ran along with him. About twenty minutes later, Ron became so tired he nearly passed out. He was about five miles in.

“Ok guys I need you to do me a gigantic favor…” Then Ron told them to ride the wind, and pick up the Magikarp, and bring him back.

“Sometimes Magikarp’s come on rocks, said Ron after them. I hope this one is!”

Chapter Eight: Thank God For Rocks!

Maria wanted to be out of the water if she died. So, being extremely ill she flopped up the rocks on to the one on the land. Then she saw an Oddish and Hoppip fly by. “We’re here to save your life,” exclaimed Oddish happily while picking up the very thin Magikarp. “Uh… ok.” Maria was to tired, and sick to argue.

With that, Oddish and Hopip waited for a strong gust of wind, and they were off with the dieing Magikarp in there puny hands.

Chapter Nine: The Capture

Magikarps can live for about an hour or so without water so it was not a worry to Ron at all.

With the very high wind, it took only about a half an hour.

But when Ron came in sight, still panting Oddish and Hoppip dropped Magikarp, and ran toward him.

Outraged, Maria started to flop over being very weak. When Oddish had come in sight Maria whacked it with her tail.

Oddish fell back a bit, and then became very angry and used Stun Store. Hoppip joined in using a Tackle attack. Maria did try to fight back with a Tackle attack, but got countered.

“Guys stop!” Ron was back on his feet. “I know I’m a ranger, and I’m not supposed to use a Pokeball, but I have to. Pokeball go!”

With that the frail Magikarp sucked in, the ball wiggled around a few times and…

Last edited by Loyal Kingdra; 06-23-2009 at 02:56 PM.
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Old 06-18-2009, 04:01 PM
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Default Re: The Toxic Lake (Not Finished)

Target: Magikarp
Needed: 3k- 5k
Have: (With Out Spaces) 4,939
Have: (With Spaces) 6,054

I hope I get it :D
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Old 06-27-2009, 08:07 AM
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Default Re: The Toxic Lake (Not Finished)

Introduction: The story introduces us to two Magikarp living in a toxic lake. Correction: the LAST TWO Magikarp of the toxic lake. They want to find a trainer so they can live.(In a ball that is probably only three inches big at best)

Plot: Ron finds the polluted pond. However, one of the Magikarp dies.(SPOILER) And then the last Magikarp left gets sick. Luckily Ron shows up just in time to battle the infected Magikarp and win!

Description: You described it well enough for a Magikarp. But every story can use more description... :D

Grammar: Because this is a Magikarp story, I HAVE to nitpick. You spelled dying "dieing". Also, any number bigger than ten, you use digits. So seventeen should be 17 and thirteen should be... 13. Nearby is one word. But that's nitpicking, so you can ignore it if you want.(Though if you see this, then it is too late)

Length: Magikarp take 2,500 to 5,000 characters. You have 6,160. Honestly, I should've just skipped the rest of the sections and gave you the fish, but that's no fun. :P

Outcome: It was a tough choice. The entire story was flawed. Magikarp is a god for pete's sake.

Magikarp Captured! Have fun splashing.

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