PDA

View Full Version : Mudkip and me! (Ready For Grade)


Tamer Marco
07-27-2004, 11:13 PM
Chapter One:



"Kippppp!" A pokemon said inside the glass dome unhappily. It was a Mudkip on auction in an aquarium. "I want that one." A boy said. His name was Terry. He had waved his left hand into his short black hair. Then a voice from above replied.

"Well, your only nine right now." "The legal age is ten and your not ten aren't you?" That was Terry's mother. She was very beautiful with blonde hair and colorful blue eyes. Her skin was very smooth and creamy. Terry, her son looked exactly like her except he had thick, black hair. My foot tapped on the marble floor. "Aww mom, you always have to follow the rules." Terry joked playfully. His mother smiled and patted Terry's head. "Your birthday is March 1st, the same day as the registering for the Hoenn League. she replied, still patting my head. The champion was Steven. I knew if I really worked hard and applied myself I could acomplish anything. I moved lightly on the "former" stainless glass. Mudkip stared at the wagging finger. The dull lonely expression on it's face slowly disappeared. The Mudkip wasn't happy, but yet it wasn't sad either. It just liked the boy who came to the aquarium everyday to see her. My mother stared at me. Then the Mudkip. She saw how happy I was, the joy I felt being with my first pokemon friend. My mother then fixed her glance onto the bidder. "I'll pay 100,000 dollars for it." she boldly said. The aquarium auctionier stared in awe.

"But miss, the last bidder payed only 8,000 dollars for it." "Are absolutely sure this is what you wish?" There was dead silence among the crowd. The only sound that was made were the boy's moving finger and the reptitiveness of the Sharpedo swimming through the man-made waves. "Positive." my mother said. I couldn't believe it. My mother loved me so much she was that willing to make me happy. "Going once... going twice... SOLD to Mrs. Amy Smith." "Congragulations!" Please fill out this form and the battle and capture of the Mudkip will be arranged!" "Huh?" my mother asked suspicously. "You see we just rangle them, and put them in a glass cage." "Your son(s) and or daughter(s) have to make the capture themselves." "I have that weak Poocheyena at home." she said. My mother snatched the board and attached pen and filled out the information. Then, she handed the board to the Aquarium Auctionier. The auctionier read over the form ontop of the board. "We will have your Mudkip by March 1st at noon." "C'mon honey lets go." my mother said. She hadn't noticed that I was playing with Mudkip. I spoke up and told her. " Mom, me and Mudkip played the funny face game!" When I said that I couldn't believe it. When I said that, and the game itself it was totally childish. Had this Mudkip brought out the inner five-year old in me? "That Mudkip sure loves you." she said. "Me and my mother walked outside into the busy parking lot. She still considered me as a baby, so she held my hand through-out the parking lot. We went into the stuffy and hot car rolling down our windows. I was hoping the days would go by faster so Mudkip and me could be togehther.

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 12:09 AM
This chapter is a bit about bullies. A moral is to not be a bully but assert yourself in a friendly and respectful way.



Chapter Two: Waves, Water, and death


We reached the house in about thirty minutes. When I came inside along with my mother I was greeted by our housedog Poochy, the Poochyena with grunts and puppy dog kisses. I picked Poochy up and rubbed the dog on it's belly. Poochy could tell he wasn't loved much. By the way I looked into it's eyes. It knew there was a pokemon that was better. Infact, it had the right idea. I hated to admit it, but I had a closer relationship with Mudkip and Poochy would grow into a bloodthirsty beast. Not something i'd like to imagine my sweet Poochy become so I distanced myself away from him. I felt shameful and creul, but that was the way I was. I distanced myself from things that would grow evil one day, or already are. That was my flaw, lack of trust. I needed to rest. Placing Poochy down gently, I walked outside and closed the door. Unknowingly, Poochy came out with me. I thought about it and knew I just loved Mudkip too much. I walked through a closed intercection to the beach. It was abotu fifty yards away. I continued to walk head down, sad about Poochy. Looking down on the ground I noticed a Nidoran brushing past me. The horns pierced my leg slightly and my right-leg throbbed in pain. I was tough though, in ten seconds my pain would be gone. And it was so. Although, I did have a slight tingle inside. I was almost at the beach and soon I regreted it. It was thier turf. Suddenly, a boy was in front me, about ten yards. I began to wish I never came. I ran south and two other boys were standing far away from each other but in close enough. I reconized all three. Dominque, Trey, and the smallest Billy. All three were brothers and all three were disgusting. They had a reputation for being the biggest, baddest kids on the county area. The stunk and people made jokes about them being alergic to soap and water and other creul things. So they were sad and took up bullying. But they were too dumb to know that if they gave up thier bad habbits they would be treated better. But instead they took the easy way out. Putting fear on others. "What do you want?!" I said speaking up boldly. "Nothing." the oldest Dominque said. "Except to give you swimming lessons." he said happily. "If you swam you wouldn't smell so bad would you?" I joked. This angered the three. Dominque charged at me and grabbing me. He carried me to the ocean and put me down with his brother Billy. Something I couldn't put my finger on was disturbing about Billy. Dominque and Trey stepped back as Billy held up a pokeball. "Hey, the age for having your own pokemon is-" I was cut off by Billy. "My birthday was a week ago. "You would know that if you came to my party." He slammed down the ball furiously and out popped a Nidoran.I remembered seeing a Nidoran. It wasn't wild! It was supposed to hunt me down!" "Use Horn Attack!" Billy said. Billy's Nidoran charged at me with lightning speed and it rammed me into the ocean. I fell with a large klunk into the ocean that felt like concrete. "Help!" "I can't swim!" I screamed. The three boys left me in the sea. They had doubts about me drowning because I was a deep sea swimmer. But somehow I began to sink beaneath the waves.

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 01:44 AM
Chapter Two: Mudkip and Poochy meet







My nose began to fill with the poison saltwater. I hacked it out and began to sink even faster. I saw a gray husk coming my way. It was moving like it was swimming not being carried out to sea. It came closer and closer. "It's gonna kill me..." I thought. "This is the end." Then a huge wave swept me into the ocean...


When I came too, I was on sand. I rose from my fall and looked up. I was five feet away from the boardwalk! "But how?" I pondered. I thought about it for a few seconds. The sea bringing me back to shore? It was impossible. Then I felt a bushy fur hair on my wet pants leg. I looked down in fright. It was Poochy! I picked him up. This time I actually felt close to him. "You..." I said happily. I squeezed him in my arms tightly and I did something I never would of did before. I nuzzled the wet dog. "Well, you've done the impossible." "You really care for me don't you?" "Poo, Pooch!" Poochy barked. "Lets go home.' I said. I squeezed thst little wet dog the whole way home and thought "Would Mudkip do this for me?" I didn't worry about it.


When I got home my mother and father looked dead at me. "Where were you?" they both said at the same time. They had a habbit for that. "And why are you and Poochy soaking wet?" I thought it would be better for me not to tell. "We went out for a swim." I said. "Well put on some dry clothes!" my father sternly said. He had the black hair I inherited and had the habbit of rushing his hand through it like me. We were very alike but I looked more like my mom every day. I walked upstairs leaving small pieces of Salvao Weed on the brown carpet, just vaccumed. My mother got into a fit and picked it up while I changed. I slid down the rail with Poochy in my arms. I wore a long Red T-shirt with the same brand of pants with a belt. I made my way to the kitchen. Seeing a comb, I ran it through my head for a couple of minutes. I smelled popcorn in the air. Although I smelled it, my mother nor my father were present. I suspected they were downstairs watching our new movie Ariadosman (Spiderman). I went through the hall. There were two doors. One which led to the garage and one which led to basement. I chose the one on the left which was the basement. I ran downstairs and heard Ariados man's cry when he first got his powers. Runnning to the second room in the basement which our big screen televison was held, I saw my mother and father totally wrapped up in the movie. I didn't want to disturb them but I had to ask. "Mom, dad can I go to the aquarium?" I asked as politely as possible. "Sure honey, but use the scooter." I went out of the room and in the actual basement itself there was a scooter. Grabbing it up I made my way up the stairs to the hallway and then I went outside through the garage.

I rolled throughout town happily knowing those bullies wouldn't be at the aquarium. I speedily pedaled through the sidewalk. I brushed past a angry woman and she yelled at me coldly. I turned back to see her last glance and then I saw a dog. Poochy! "Poochy you aren't supposed to be here!" I said. "Nevermind, I want you to meet Mudkip."I made a sharp turn and I was atthe aquarium.


I walked inside with Poochy keeping up. There was a bike rack but I forgot a lock.I took my scooter inside with me. I looked at the glass wall and soon found the playful Mudkip. I knew it was him in a instant because of how bored he was. He layed on the seabed and when he noticed me he hopped up with joy. Then I saw a Aquarium care taker by me. "Excuse me, but i'd like that Mudkip to come out. "Sure!" he said politely. I love it when children want to interact with amphibians." He went into a small room. There was a sign on the door which said "AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY". Five minutes later, the man came out with Scuba diving gear. He climbed up the glass. There was a hole which fit him easily. He dove in and grabbed Mudkip. Then, swimming up he opened the hole and jumped down. "Here you go." he said taking off his scuba mask. He placed Mudkip down and I spoke. "Poochy, Mudkip. "Mudkip, Poochy."

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 03:24 PM
Chapter Three: Fast Friends!






Mudkip and Poochy stared at each harrdly. For Mudkip he never saw a Poochyena, because he was isolated with Mudkips his entire life. And Poochyena was new to Mudkip, because until today he never came outside of the house! So for both it was pretty odd meeting new pokemon species. "Kip!" Mudkip said happily. "Poochyena." Poochy grunted. Then the two ran off in the distance. "Mudkip, Poochy!" I yelled. Grabbing my scooter I began to roll on it with top speed. "Hey where are you going?!" the auctionier from earlier had shouted. I could barely hear him of the wind while riding the scooter. "A Mudkip and my Poochyena are on the loose!" I replied. "I"m going to get them back!" I said again. I pushed my foot even faster now. I was gaining on the two but it was hopeless. A pokemon's natural speed would overwhelm a scooter. I saw the dashing pokemon when I made a tight turn. Then I remembered there was a dead end at the aquarium. The only way left to go was straight and then left. Mudkip and Poochy would be outnumbered. After a few seconds the duo hesitated. Seeing me come closer they went the only way possible, which was left. "Come back you two!" I said angrily. "I should of never brought Poochy here today!" I thought. "I knew they would be fast friends but not "Fast Friends!". They continued to run ignoring the bystanders looking at the exhibit for Relicanth fossils. Soon enough, they came to the dead in. Poochy in first, Mudkip a close second. "Muh..." Mudkip sighed unhappily. Now I saw what was going on. Mudkip and Poochyena had a race. I just wished they did it somewhere else like my basement which would of stopped them in a minimum of three seconds. Knowing they had nowhere to go,they willingly let me pick them up. I didn't want to but I asked the man who fished Mudkip back out to put him in his tank again. Once again, the man transformed into his Scuba Gear and gently placed Mudkip in the tank. "Sorry Mudkip, but it's about time for us to go home. "Muddd..." Mudkip whined patheticly. "How in a week Mudkip?" I said. Mudkip was still whining like a baby but when I said that it cheered up a bit. It knew what it did was wrong so it took a light consequence. I waved to Mudkip holding Poochyena and riding the scooter.

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 04:54 PM
Chapter Four: A week of Pokeschool!






It was 7:00 in the morning. It was one week from seeing Mudkip and I was anxious to see him. But sadly the qualifications for being a Trainer was to have at least one year of Pokemon Schooling in. I lived in Rustboro City a peaceful and nice town. Today, I ran. My feet tapped on the hard concrete and my brand-new bookbag swung side-to-side. In the distance I could see the Pokemon School. It was gigantic, with dozens of Pokemon pictures right on the walls, doors, just about as far as the eye could see! When I got to an intersection the green light dissapeared, and the red light appeared. I took this chance to run across the street. When I safely crossed the intersection I was a few yardsticks away from Pokemon School. I darted to the school. Bursting the door open I smelled the musty smell on paint on the Linoleum walls. I would have to endure it for four more days. Taking my bookbag off, I opened the main zipper which contained a note for my classroom. I looked at it. It said "RM 104". I looked around the halls to see RM 104. On the left I saw it right next to me. I had no idea it would be this convenient. I opened the door ans saw several children. I became nervous.



OOC: Sorry, gotta log off.

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 06:38 PM
OOC: I'm back. There will be two more pages hopefully. One for the end and one for the battle.




The teacher smiled. "You must be Terry." "Please take your seat." he said politely, while shiftiting his cheap clip-on tie. i walked to the nearest desk which was in the back row. The children seemed friendly, but I was still shy. I wondered what they would be like, what they would say to me and why, so many things that would never be answered once I leave these school grounds in four days and capture Mudkip. Then once I heard the teacher speak I fully focused my attention on him. "Today, for our most basic assignment we will talk about the status of Pokemon. I dilengtly listened because I would need to know this for Mudkip's training and health. "Alright class." he said in a stern voice. " Our first subject isd Status which you'd know if you had been paying attention. Right now the classroom was a total mess. Paper Airplanes flying around, spitballs flying like mini-bombs, it was just a total wreck. Then the teacher began to make threats. "Class if you don't settle and behave you won't have reccess nor lunch, not even a bathroom break." his voice bellowed to make it sound like he was actually serious. "Alright." "When a pokemon is in Peak Condition as if it came out of the pokemon center it is considered as "Healty"." "But you may and or will ennocounter dangerous health problems with your pokemon. "A troubling one is called poison. "Ironicly, it comes from poison pokemon attacks." What the poison does is slowly taking your Hit Points away. When your pokemon runs out of Hit Points it "dies" or the more realistic term "faints"." Even if you deafeat the pokemon that caused the problem, ended the battle and placed the pokemon in your pokeball it will drasticly lose Hit Points while you walk. "The most deadly kind of poison is used with the move Toxic." "It takes away ten Hit Points every time your pokemon or it's opponent attacks you! " "You may heal your pokemon from this Poison with a potion called Antidote.



Grabbing my textbook from my bookbag, which was hanging on my chair I opened the textbook and began to right. "Any questions?" he asked nicely. No one raised thier hand. I suspected that a lot of kids had questions but would be ashamed to tell. "Good." the teacher said. "On to Burns." Since I told you about poison this should be easy." "Burns have the same affects as poison, but they won't harm a pokemon while in it's Pokeball and the trainer is walking." "Heal with the burn heal." "Now, on to Paraliztion." "Paralization makes your pokemon lose 25% of it's speed and will sometimes make it unable to move." "Use a Parlyze heal to get rid of this stressful symtom." "And now for the most irritating thing to happen to your pokemon." "For it to be frozen alive." "An Ice pokemon freezing your pokemon is a rare thing indeed, but when it happens your pokemon is unable to move until it thaws out. The children were seemingly frightened by this dastardly thing to happen. If you have a fire pokemon and you use a fire attack it will automatically thaw out. Sometimes having your pokemon frozen lingers after battle!" "Cure it with a FRZ heal." "That's all for today class, now get some rest tonight and come on time!" Pokemon school was interesting. I couldn't wait to go again.

Tamer Marco
07-28-2004, 07:27 PM
OOC: Anyway, I need to pack this story up. So i'm gonna do my best on the last chapter. And I hope and pray I get Mudkip!




[Two weeks later...]






I was determined to capture Mudkip. Nothing it did would stop me. My mother looked at me sitting. "Time to go." she said happily. "Come on Poochy." she said to the loveable dog. "I'm ready for Mudkip." "Pokemon School taught me a lot and I know what to do now." My eyes were blazing with determination. I opened the garage door and hopped in the car passenger seat while holding Poochy. My mom then came out. She opened the garage car door and she started up the car. We drove out of the garage and to the aquarium. All I could think about was traveling with Mudkip. Playing with Mudkip. Just doing things with the fish. Soon enough we reached the aquarium. There were two men outside of the doors holding a Mudkip. I automaticly knew it was for me. Grabbing Poochy I ran up to the men. "That's my Mudkip I need to battle and capture." My mother followed close behind and nodded. They placed the Mudkip down . "Are you ready child?" the guard said. "Yes, I am." "Begin battle they said!"




Battle



I placed Poochyena down. Mudkip looked different. He had a fiesty look in his eye. Then getting on grass he sprayed water on it. Them with lightning speed he shot Poochy with assaults of the attack called "Mud Slap" in the eyes. Then it rammed Poochy with a tackle attack sending it flying. He landed on the ground with a loud thump. This didn't stop Poochy though. He shook the mud out of his eyes and growled vicously. "Use the Bite/Tackle Combo we practiced Poochy!" I yelled. Poochy lowered it's head and with speed that only a pokemon could muster it rammed Mudkip into the air. Right before Mudkip crashed down Poochy vicously bit Mudkip. Mudkip winced in pain as Poochy let go. Mudkip fell on the soft mud it once created lying on the ground. Poochy stared at Mudkip right over it. Suddenly, Mudip kicked it's legs down and then up creating a Mudslap attack. Poochy was covered in mud. Mudkip was a very tough opponent and I would have to think of better tactics to beat Mudkip. "Poochy shake off the mud!" Poochy did as told but couldn't get it all out. Mudkip ran up to Poochy tackling him once again. Poochy lied there seemingly that it almost fainted. "Poochy get up!" I shouted. Poochy slowly rose looking badly hurt. "Use our combo!" "The tacke wave!" Poochy seemed to get up without fear. He stood up as if he weren't harmed at all. "Amazing." my mother remarked. Then Poochy ran at Mudkip who didn't have time to react. Poochy tackled it. Mudkip was still in the air but Poochy tackled him again. Poochy did this four times again until Mudkip came crashing down. Mudkip layed there lifelessly. Forgetting what happened earlier Poochy looked at Mudkip. Then without warning Mudkip did the exact same combo that Poochy used on Mudkip! "Oh no!" I cried. It was startling to seee your house dog getting beat up like that. Poochy landed on his four feet unharmed seemingly. Poochy stumbled but was still on his feet. Try to finish it with Crunch!" Poochy ran up to him and bared his fangs. Mudkip jumped out of the way before the Crunch made contact and all Poochy did was make a hole in the soft mushy dirt. Mudkip then took the chance to Mud-Slap Poochy on it's behind. "Pooh!" Poochy cried. "That's gotta hurt." I joked. Poochy became very angry at this. "GRRRR!"Poochy growled furiously. He Pow-Wowed over to Mudkip and used Crunch without my permission. "Muh!" Mudkip cried in pain.
The guard from earlier walked up to me. "Use the Pokeball." he said winking. Snatching it I threw it at Mudkip. The ball rolled side to side and I prayed Mudkip would be mine.

Scorch Ry
07-28-2004, 08:14 PM
*Grading In Process: Editing Post For Official Grade*
Story: 8/10
Nothing much to say here...the story was very interesting like the last! ^_^

Details: 7/10
I've seen an improvement in the details, although it could be better. Make sure to use different words to describe things, okay?

Spelling/Grammar: 8/10
A few gramatic errors; nothing I could really find. Watch out for those commas and periods. ^_^

Battle: 6/10
The battle was a bit short. Mudkip and Poochyena could have lasted a longer battle. Larvitar was easily captured because it was your first story that I've graded; now that I'm used to your writing, I expect longer battles each capture story. Other than that, the battle was okay.

Length: 10/10
The length was fantastic...a wonderful 10/10 perfect score! Keep up the great length, Dark Luddicolo!

{OUTCOME: 39/50 - 78/100 = MUDKIP CAPTURED!}