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Chapter 9: Ralts
Urgh. I can’t stand this crap anymore. Sittin’ in this gol-darn pokeball, cramped up like in a chick’n coop. And don’t think I ain’t know me undies’re showing. That sick Shupster’s probably takin’ pleasure in that now.
Off of that, I think my day of freedom is a comin’. My captors recently bought about 5 pokeballs, and recently another ‘mon joined our team. He was a Taillow, a flying lil’ sparrow. The way that Pokeball sucked the bird in, I couldn’t watch. Taillow, however, seems to find bein’ in a ball not too bad. Or so she said. Seems to me they’re plannin’ to send me out some day to fight so they catch another poor wretch of a Poke. And seein’ the likes of this dark, creepy place, I suppose it wouldn’t take too much brain to slip out while in battle and not be noticed. But alas, I suppose I’d have to wait – Butch and Cassidy sent me out in a battle with a kid but kept close watch. The other trainers ignored the two, and I’m assumin’ it’s ‘cause they’re too scary.
Suddenly me pokeball jerked to the back. “Ey, what the hell?” I yelled.
“Shut UP, Ralts,” said Shupster. “No one freakin’ understands you.” Then he was silent, and as I peeped outta the pokeball’s opening, I could see someone standing in front of us.
“And you are who, to have the nerve to be blocking us?” Butch snapped. Hey, this ought to be the first time I seen him so not a wuss.
The dude didn’t flinch. He looked about fifteen, with a blue bandanna wrapped around his head in a whoppin’ unusual manner. He crossed his arms casually over his black-and-white striped shirt, tipped his head to one side, and twisted his mouth into a little half-smile.
“Me?” he said. “Grunt of Team Aqua, that of which is motivated by the beauties of water to quench the thirsts of dry, parched land and saturating the – ”
“Cut the crap, kid,” spat Cassidy. “We don’t need advertisements on your – ” she raised two hands and made a ‘quotation’ signal, “group. We’re infamous ex-members of Team Rocket, dude. You heard about Butch and Cassidy, kid? Stop blocking the ****ing road.”
The Aqua grunt frowned. “You didn’t have to be so impolite, did you? Okay, I’ll move. And just a tip for next time,” he said as his frown deepened, “know how to control your ****in’ mouth in the ****in’ face of Team Aqua. I’m letting you off easy.”
Shupster tipped his head over in a mocking imitation of the grunt. “If you think you’re so damn sweet in that cocky attitude, why don’tcha show me what you and yo’ little fishies got, eh? Try and kill me, fishies. You ain’t succeedin’.” He attempted to spit at the Team Aqua grunt, whose face was now filling with red.
“Don’t you DARE insult water!” he yelled. “Okay, bring it, puppet. Go, Poochyena!”
The grunt sent his pokeball a-flyin’, and out hopped Poochyena, a dark gray and black dog, looking quite small and innocent.
Shupster fidgeted and I cursed out loud – Cassidy knew that Psychic was weak to Dark attacks, which was exactly what Poochyena’s type was.
“Well, here goes…” Shupster shut his eyes and a strange darkness was blanketed over us. I closed my eyes, yeah, I admit, of fear, but when I opened my eyes Poochyena was cowardly backed up on the grass. Wow, dude, this Shupster is good.
He turned around to me smugly and said, “That, my lass, is Night Shade. It’s not too effective on this one, but it’ll do. Wait till it attacks.” I kept my eyes on him and the Poochyena. Somehow, I was interested in all this.
The grunt laughed. “My Poochyena’s still strong. Poochyena, tackle!”
The dog sprang to Shupster in attempt of a fierce tackle, but it merely went through and away Shupster flew – and instantly cracked up.
“Nya nya nya nya, can’t touch this, dude!” cackled Shupster. “Don’t you know, kid? Physical stuff ain’t effective on ghosts, namely me.” The grunt glowered and swore, but Shupster had already took advantage of the grunt’s ragin’ and deftly smacked another Shadow Ball into Poochyena.
“Nicely done, Shupster!” yelled Cassidy. “Come back, I wanna give Ralts some experience!”
I lit up. Open the pokeball. Hurry! And as the ball hit the floor and I saw the Poochyena weak and limp, I had a second thought. Kill this guy, and receive experience AND fun. I thought about it again, and realized, yes, I could escape another time.
Shupster was still on. “She’s only got Psychic attacks!”
Cassidy frowned. “OK, Ralts, get back here. You’ve received experience already.”
And then the gold-darn pokeball sucked me back in, and it was only after I was back in that I noticed what happened.
“OH GOD DAMMIT!” I shouted. I missed my effin’ chance. I go out there, decide not to run, hoping to get some satisfaction or somethin’, then they make me return, without me gettin’ any satisfaction and not escaped either. I was so damn stupid it’s unbelievable.
Butch sent out Taillow, and with a few merciless pecks, she finished off the dog, spat at it, and reached home plate. I mean the pokeball. The grunt took back his fallen Poochyena and sighed.
“Well, I give up there,” he said, looking down.
Butch laughed. “Very nice. A true player knows when to stop.” Cassidy glared. “I mean trainer,” he added quickly.
“Money,” said Cassidy.
“What? No way,” protested the grunt. “Archie’s gonna kill me.”
Cassidy reached into her pocket and pulled out a white pistol, positioning it between the grunt’s eyes. “Money, or we are too,” she whispered, grabbing him by the collar.
The grunt’s bravery cracked. “Ok, ok, fine.” He removed ten bucks from his pocket, a green pokeball and glowered. “Guess I’ll just go steal another new product,” he muttered.
Cassidy ignored him and beamed. “Thanks,” she said, pinching the grunt’s cheek and grabbing the stuff. “Scram.”
The grunt took off like a lil’ squirrel.
Shupster smiled. “Another team?” he laughed. “However awesome it might be, I think you’ve just shown ‘em the real Team Rocket.”
The bug catchers, who were all crowded round to watch, broke into smatters of applause and cheers.
And a few minutes later, we were outta Ilex Forest and it was sort of dark out. Seeing a flowery motel right up the path, we crashed in for a stay, and really, I noticed some bug catchers point and smile at us.